10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub's Subreddit is LIT, BAPA! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #8

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

Eighth Episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

All right. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shab, the very popular segment that we pulled out of our ass. Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. Yeah, gah, gah, gah. And when you pull something out of your ass, it's not always the best, you know, like the bestly produced thing.

But we heard your concern, and thank you for letting us know about the audio. Yes. We fixed the audio in the video from last week. You couldn't hear Shab talk, which is the way it should be with Shab. It should not be heard. But you can't really get the jokes and everything if it's just like, which is static here or whatever.

So sorry about that. Thanks for tuning in again, giving us another chance. I don't know if you noticed, I got the Thick Boy Squad T-shirt on. Shout out to Brendan Walsh, a big comedian in Los Angeles that me and Gerardo looked up to when we moved out here. So it's very cool to know that he watches this and check out Brendan's podcast,

World Record Podcast. We'll put a link in the YouTube description. So thanks, Brendan. And great shirt, I mean. You said I could pick anything I want. I think I made the right choice. What do you think? You got that one with three C's.

That's all I care about. Yeah. I like the tie dye. I would wear this out to like places if it wasn't kind of embarrassing. It doesn't look like an Aeropostale that you would wear. I kind of, yeah. If you look at the four other older episodes,

you might see me in an Aeropostale. You know, some people don't like that brand of clothing, but I think it'll look whatever. You didn't come here for that. You came here for 10 minutes of Shab. That's where you're going to get it. So let's start the clip now. Starting now. I think this one's about

reading comments. She's lovely. I'm not going to argue if she's not the top hottest. I mean, hotter? I don't know. She's up there. They only caption Shab. I don't know she's up there they only caption Shob they don't caption

Callan because Shob's like broken English that he speaks she's not the Hotters why this is like why would you do this your reputation is so bad with women and then you're alright keep playing yeah

sports in and then you're all right keep playing he's in the eye of the beholder yeah sports illustrated look at this he botched the eye of the beholder oh i talked over i've seen the clip before he makes a stupid joke about sports illustrated because of that whole yeah they put the um what are they it's a plus size model on the cover and jordan peterson had to freak out about it So of course shop has to agree with that. It's like, what did Jordan Peterson say? He was like, um,

she's not attractive and no way of presenting her as such. Well, give me an erection. You woke more or less. It's like, why do you guys care about this at all? I thought she was, he's not bad looking.

I'm not trying to be woke. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, you know, get with her asking her. I'm not trying to be woke. I would, I would, you know, get with her, ask her on a date. She's a model. You know,

I've heard so much about the Sports Illustrated fat woman and I haven't seen it. She's not bad looking. Oh. But, you know,

Schaub is, he only dates women from, women that will walk to his car with him. They take the truck walk. The truck walk. Talking about

Sports Illustrated. Talking about, yeah, keep playing. Yeah. Let's see your stroke. Let me see. What do you want her to do?

I want to see your stroke. You want to see your stroke? Stroke. Yeah. Stroke. Stroke. Mountain range.

I like the mountain range. Let's see. I'll tell you if she's good. Boom. Looks good. Could have kept her head down. Hey, God damn it.

Staunch underscore Imrancist. Ju have kept her head down. Hey, goddammit, staunch underscore imrancist juicy pussy. Hey, staunch. Are they making the donkey noises or is the subreddit making the donkey noises? The subreddit is making the donkey noises. They're not talking like donkeys while also talking.

I mean, I don't know. You're right. That's too much self-awareness. That would be funny if they did that. You want to see her struggle? You want to see her struggle? You want to see her struggle? She's pretty cool. He's trying to say stroke, and he says stroke.

To them, it's just another chig so you can fuck. Just another chig to fuck. Yep. Sad. All right. This next one's Wander Lays Silva is is a homeless as fuck yeah this is a good one just from the title which i'll explain after the clip i i wait when i was in the ufc i went to like a expo thing in vegas and i waited two hours to meet vanderlays silva and i met him

and he signed the picture and i was like oh my name's brendan he goes cool and he wrote brandon and that's like triggering for me back then. You got to have one of those names. That's your McLovin. That's why McLovin. I was like. Do you feel like that too? Not at all.

My name, if you're watching this and you don't know, is also exactly the same. It's Brendan spelled the same way. I don't care. Most of the time, I don't even hear it. Brandon, Brendan. It kind of goes in here one out the other yeah um but what i wanted to i picked this clip because it's just so funny the homeless as like that saying wanderlust

silva as homeless as fog yeah because and homeless cats are the people that don't like shop yeah so anybody that even like some remotely maybe is dissing shop they're always like so and so is homeless super homeless they're super homeless and it's just it cracks me up every time I love it we're homeless you and me are homeless in the eyes of the subreddit the cats

but Brandon and I go oh no I'm so sorry I'm way too out can you just fix it and put Brendan good good for you even people in Brazil know just tell Shab to shut his goddamn mouth i'll i'll write your name right if you stop doing stand-up when i was walking in my truck i ran into vanderley silver you know wanderlake or vanderley silver is just another victim of the

truck walk in my opinion okay uh what's this one about i don't remember they know what they want that's what they want and so i don't remember that's what they want here's the thing someone rented me when I was a UFC fighter someone rented me for two 8 year olds birthday party it was the Indian reservation you know what's funny he's crossing his arms as if he's like

don't say anything Brendan people keep making fun of you dude he just can't help himself anything he can but people keep making fun of you, dude. And he's like, he just can't help himself. And yeah, anything he can do to be made fun of, even if it's like ordering from fashion Nova for men, this gigantic bubble gum t-shirt, he'll do it.

And that this story is so absurd. They pointed out on the subreddit, that's clearly fake. And it's, I heard the last thing I forgot. He's saying that he was invited to perform on a Native American reservation or something like that. Haven't they been through enough?

Do they need this? A shop going up there and being like, dude, fucking dicey. He's like, the fucking blankets, right, dude? Dicey, dicey. I guarantee you said that. Smallpox, dicey, dicey. I guarantee you said that. Smallpox, dicey, dicey. 100%.

Different. Now it's coming out of me. I've never been to an Indian reservation. It's different. They sent me a limo, right? They didn't give me any info. At the time, I had no money. They gave me $10,000.

Wow. Not deserved. They gave me a limo. They drive me like three hours in the sticks on some Native American ranch as bored by lies huge houses dope ass houses right i walk in it's like a scene out of training day there's all these in native americans in wife beaters tattoos head to toe playing cards i'm like what the fuck is this man there's a giant fish tank they're like now fight there's a giant thing pause over a second what're like, now fight. There's a giant fish tank behind him. Pause it for a second. What would it be like to see the world

the way Schaub does? Like, if you could put on Schaub glasses, it's just a normal day. And then you put on Schaub sunglasses, everybody's a stereotype or gay. They're all some sort of movie reference. This is like training day. Big house

and the two things are completely different. They don't make, they're very rich, but they're on a reservation and then they're Latino gangbangers. Like it's just not, it clearly is not what's going on. Okay, we can still have some time. I go outside and the mom's like, oh, so glad you came.

You know, my husband's a big fan. Like, yeah, cool, cool. Gives me $10,000 cash. She's like, oh, so glad you came. You know, my husband's a big fan. I'm like, yeah, cool, cool. Gives me $10,000 cash. She's like, we just need you here for an hour. And she goes, it's a UFC theme party. My kids love it. I go, how are your kids? She goes, eight.

And they're twins. I was like, okay. The cake comes out. It's made of like the octagon. It has little fighters on it. Then the kids, she gives them gloves and they start fighting. The kids and them start fighting. Straight up fighting. UFC style. I'm like, oh, my God. I want the start fighting. The kids and them start fighting. Straight up fighting.

UFC style. I'm like, oh my God, I want the fuck out of here. Oh my God. 10 G's though. Where is this? This was way. Where did the lie take place? No, this is California.

Native American. Yeah, when I was fighting the UFC. I've done a bunch of like. 10 G's. I did like this. Cash too. I did this show. Yeah, dude.

Not, didn't happen. And he talks like somebody where he's like, no, fighting. If you say something four times, he's like trying to make a joke, kind of, or just possibly just lying. I don't know. It's hard to tell. Hard to tell the whole show. How much more time do we have?

Like a lot more clips. Yeah, we might not get through all of it. We have like two minutes and 30 seconds, but it's all good. More for the next 10 minutes, you know. Drug law. How many do you guys want? Just give us one more. Okay. Mike Tyson thinks he's going to die

really soon. I think we all do. Mike Tyson believes at all times that his fate is imminent. On his podcast, Hot Box with Mike Tyson, the former heavyweight boxing champ had therapist Sean McFarlane, who specializes in trauma and addiction, on as a guest and told him he feels he's inching closer to death. They're talking about Mike Tyson dying.

We're all going to die one day, of course, Tyson said. Then when I look in the mirror and see those little spots on my face, I say, wow, that means my expiration date is coming close really soon. Yeah, we're like bananas. Shob has to say something. He't go you know more than a minute or 30 seconds without being like all right all right it's on me i'm the best comedian in the room i'm the smartest guy i have to say something we're like bananas different it's so funny too because he he said and he just looked down and he was like what the fuck did I just say dude

what did the CTE make me do now this is bad I don't remember if he says anything else it's good he's also on shrooms every day so like that as you were saying he's also lived a rough life yeah

much like a banana shop's like talking about how bad how bad mike tyson's life was before it to and that's why he's thinking about suicide when shop should be thinking about suicide all the time his life's good that you know i think all big guys think we're gonna die early but um i do as well but um he keeps talking. Is Shob worried about dying? Shob, you cannot die. This segment will go away. We need more clips. We'd have to watch more of your

podcasts if you'd... Come on, Chin. It's up to you, Chin, to keep Shob alive and whoever that awful voice is that's talking. Shut up. I've never heard that before. He's terrible. What a that's talking hey shut up i've never heard that before he's terrible what uh what a take your time shot how would you say what a fucking how joe rogan has changed the podcast game because i'm thinking about joe has all these people on right and it's all about it

you learn something just think about talking about joe rogan you know just think about it the idea that joe rogan and it's about to end but the idea that joe rogan has made it so that you can have a therapist on your podcast is so stupid he's not the first he didn't make it it's like i don't even does he have a lot of therapists on or something i have no clue yeah i guess i'm shy but no better than us but it's it's like, I don't even, does he have a lot of therapists on or something? I have no clue. Yeah, I guess Shab would know better than us, but it's like they pointed out in the subreddit, anything he can connect. You know, really it takes it back to like, if you think about it, Joe Rogan. Yeah.

He's the first guy to do, he had some other clip that we'll play where he's like, I don't know any ball guys are slinging dick, you know? Besides Joe Rogan and Dana White. It's like, what don't know any ball guys are slinging dick, you know? Besides Joe Rogan and Dana White. It's like, what? Slinging dick? What are you talking about? How do you know? Joe Rogan's married. Dana White's probably married too.

Slinging it to who? It makes no sense. The only person slinging dick was Juice Bigelow, dude. There you heard it for Gerardo himself. That was my Brendan Shaw moment. Yeah, a little bit. That that's okay still way better than any alright we'll finish the clip we'll break the rules just this once

if Rogan didn't kind of set that platform for these interesting conversations like he's such a leader in the industry where people are like oh I want an interesting fighter and a therapist nobody had had a long conversation before um joe rogan off camera or on camera it just had never happened before i like how they say tom bout when he's saying talking about yeah tom bout

classic line all right thick boy squad you know i wouldn't recommend you get the t-shirt yourself but i got it it's very comfortable it might have been the only thing that brendan shop has done well so shout out one more time to world record podcast with walsh thank you got a shout out our sponsors if you want to sponsor the show all you need to do is dm me and send me a wacky idea all right see ya