10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schbob ENDS HIS REDENSEA! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #95

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

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Well Take me back down With rain next to flow y'all Let me remember The things I loved y'all Pissing in the sink With pasta I've eaten Lying about the DM

Text with Pete. Big town boys laughing with the king bee. I can hear the Adderall calling me. Wonder if I'll still reach you through the tree. Love to stick my tongue way out. There's a big water. Starbucks, food trucks. Get back to papa.

I'm a big shot. Look in the fine waves. Hey, love. Well, this is a couple of things. Stop at my favorite time of the week. When you get there, papa. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Discord, join the Reddit, join the patreon if you want um this week what are we doing patreon we did uh joe rogan's uh trigger triggered i'm not gonna trigger it also we got

these uh cans here we're getting ready to get a porosos vodka whenever that comes up but mine's water i'm gonna fake a drink yeah you're gonna have a mocktail but i'll do a real one on the show for you guys um but it's good enough. I'll relapse, dude. Please don't. Okay. I won't. Damn it. Seven times a week. Don't do that. But we've got a lot of clips to get to today, dude. And that's why they're here, right? Yeah. So we should probably start the timer now. Play the chin clip. STT, dude. Start that timer. Let's see here. I'll cut that part out. But this was posted by California Burrito. What? Good name.

Never heard it. California Burrito. It's called flexing on your friend during their engagement. This is the hottest topic in the sub today, dude. What do you think about that? You told me about this last night. I just don't understand how does this happen? How does this picture come about?

Why would you both... Does somebody say like, oh, I just got married, so we should take a picture of both our rings because you've been married for years, years, right? Or maybe she's like, let's take a picture. And then when you notice it's so much bigger, do you still post it? All these questions.

She's just another shop shop i'm glad they met yeah they're a perfect match well honestly dude is that your takeaway yeah that's a big ring like that fit on a small finger that's what i was thinking dude look at the size of that finger dude i hate when people are like that like how does that ring fit on that finger but look at that thing dude we were both kind of like you know not to get douchey we don't want to get douche her at all really but it's like hard not we're not trying to do that yeah um but you know it's like it is very funny it's not really about her it's still about shop to me like i'm wondering like does shop see that and get hard as fuck he's like oh yeah my girl's got a big one dude you know yeah he's he's a baller you know he bought that that's not a good

point i'm sleeping on the main point here is that shop bought that for a guy. Great guy never met him, dude. What do you think is thicker, that diamond or shop's cock, dude? Whoa. Eight inches, bro. That was different. That question was different. Talking about diameter, B.

You talking about another man, B? Something about that seemed real feminine to me, bro. That question, bro. There's levels to this shit, bro. All right. We got the patito back, dude. Let's see here. Check this one out, dude.

This is posted by Risen24. It's Slow Joe. Is that her name? Is that her name on the sub? That makes sense because that's like a nickname for her name. Slow Joe spreading on Twitter. When your friend gets engaged, it's important to make sure

everyone knows you have a bigger ring. Welcome to the club, BFF. Look, she just has to know that she's dating like one of the best,

most successful podcasters in the game. Yeah. You know, she's showing everybody what you get when you marry a king. She's got a black belt

in ring getting, dog. You know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. a king. She's got a black belt in ring getting, Doug. You know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. All right. Let's go to the next fucking post here. Another picture post. We're just getting all these out the way, dude.

And there's so many posts about this. I just chose this one because I know White's mom. Dana White's mom posted it. It's Hey Paparazzi, obviously misspelled. Yeah. You blockbuster, b uh you blockbuster boster boster and it's them in a car let's see what others yeah see it's just it just looks stage it's so funny that car is so like i mean if you drive that car you want to be noticed right oh

yeah you got it you're gonna know that there's gonna be some It's lime green. It's kind of, I don't know. Is it a Mustang or something? Yeah. It's more like slime green to me. You know what I'm saying? That's Nickelodeon slime right there, dude. Slimer from the Ghostbusters. That's a new thing he's going to fucking.

When he saw that car. Oh, it's like Slimer, man. Let's get that shit, dude. When you got a black belt and you're podcasting. Who you gonna call? Brandon, shut up. Brian Callen. Do the shoes match

the car? Oh my god, yeah. I think the laces do. That's when you know. There are levels to this shit. When you match the laces to the car. Look at that ball guy, that slinging dick right there behind him. Yeah, dude. He was like, can you park this pretty close?

Here's 100. Yeah. All right. Let's see the next one here. All right. Now back to some Clin chips. Oh, I got a call. Let me answer this.

All right. Sorry about that. I had a phone call. We are back to some Clin chips, dude. This one's posted by hempfarmer90. It's called always been a gearhead loves the chase of the build let's see here nothing triggers me more than guys in cars i hate rep overkill yeah he's got the the sign the merch is he is he showing a self-awareness dude

it's an overkill of a fucking beast of a TRX, dude. He's overkilling doing the sound, you mean? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I don't think it's self-awareness, though. Not a chance, B. I tell my son, when we go to the car show, I go, that's for guys who don't have...

You know, the insecurity. When you're in an idle... It sounds pretty bad. Listen to that air whistle. I know, it's turbo. We should do one of those, you know how your birth month is your shop car kind of thing, you know what I mean? We can just have like 12 of Shob cars and then like whoever's birthday is that month or whatever that's a good idea yeah i know you're notorious for those with open mics

also you didn't build the car why are you when we go to the car show and guys are like you like my ferrari it's like you didn't build it that's pretty funny actually my happiness comes from the build that's what i love to do yeah you just bought it yeah are you acting like a good thing i souped up this lightning to over 600 horsepower this ford lightning that i hooked up it's like security at the club. They're all arrogant. It's like, you don't know him at the club, dude. You're a minimum wage. All do I do. What did he say? I'm laughing at,

I didn't hear the beginning, but he's making fun of someone that's making minimum wage. Classic Papa. Yeah. As he should be, dude. Yeah, right. You guys are the poors.

Right, right, yeah. That's true. Remember that. The Raptor pills. There's some, some people are killing it in life. Right, right, yeah. That's true. Remember that. Some people are killing it in life. They just made it. Sorry you're mad about that, okay? Maybe you should drink some

poor osos and cheer up. Yeah, dude, you can change your situation, dude. You know what I mean? Right. You have like maybe no bears, but some people have two. Two bears, one grave. You hear that song? Two bears, five bank accounts. Two bears, eight inches.

Great song. Never heard it, though. Oh, really? Yeah, no. Oh, for real? But I have heard it. Okay, you heard it. But I didn't.

I didn't hear it, though. Let's get back to Boppa TV. Fuck your fucking shop. Just kidding. Did I send you the video of it shooting fire on the highway chain? No, I didn't get it. Shooting fire? I can send it.

For the fans, just so they know. For the fans. He could douche himself a little bit there. Yeah. I'm going to regret everything I've ever said on podcasts because people are going to chop it together. Yeah, both of us, but we've already stated many times that we're going to do what they do.

Would you drive a truck that Bapa made? Dude, would I, dude? Are you kidding me? I gotta be like R.I.P. Gerardo Post, you know, it's so sad, I mean, we lost him. I told him not, I said it's a funny bit to drive

the truck that Shob made, but don't actually do it, because you're important to the show. And now, all five of his kids don't have a dad. Five of my kids? Oh, my God, no. Where's the T-ball? Who's going to be at T-ball practice now?

Because he's Latino. No. Okay, that wasn't what I was saying. Okay. No, but we were joking about that yesterday. That's true. This is posted by King Demo. It's called, When you pretend to know Pete Davidson,

but your co-host isn't buying it. Let's see When You Pretend to Know Pete Davidson But Your Co-Host Isn't Buying It. Let's see here. Just keep doing it, dude. Do you know Pete? How do you know him? Just around. I've never seen him once. He goes there spearingly.

Scratching the eye. He has a spear with him as he goes to the store. Pete, are you okay? You seem fucked up. It's all the Xanax. I don't know. We've just always been cool. New York is on Saturday Night Live, but he comes out here too.

Is he still on SNL? Oh, yeah. He's great, man. I've always been a fan of him. He's always been nice to me. Always great to me. Always been a Pete Davidson guy. Sweet. Oh, yeah. I love Pete. What else you got? I love his big him. He's been nice to me. He's always been a Pete Davidson guy. Sweet. I love Pete. What else you got? I love his big dick energy. He started the big dick energy.

Would you say that out loud? Started the big dick energy? No, he said that. Didn't he say, I love his big dick energy? Or did I hear that wrong? I think he said that. Somebody turn on the water. They're fans of Boppa, dude. I love his big dick energy. He said that.

I love his big dick energy. A that. I love his big dick. A grown man. Two grown men saying that. A grown man. It's the comments coming to life. Jesus Christ. Grande started it with him. He just does look like he might have a big dick. I don't know why. Chill out, Chin Cheese, dude.

Stick to the cooking videos. Never thought I'd say that. Eat a burger pizza before you say something like that pizza burger he just looks like he has a big dick I've seen it lanky you know how lanky yeah that's how it goes fuck boy falls in though dude

yeah I don't know what that means they say stuff like this but then other people are gay Fuck boy falls in, though, dude. Yeah. I don't know what that means. I don't know either. Fuck. They say stuff like this, but then other people are gay. Right? How's that work? Yeah.

Not that it matters, but come on. Well, I mean, it's kind of a badge of honor, B. I almost called it a B-edge. Oh, if you get called gay. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. That would be hilarious if he was like, those two gays, you're talking about us?

Dude. You're right. You got the best brains. I would love that. The guy with pubes on his face and the dude with fucking a bald ass head with small teeth, those fucking gays. The pubes thing is over though because you're fully shaven. You can fix your problems.

Why do you think I started shaving? I know. Like you, you're able to fix. I'm stuck. Bald, small teeth. There's nothing I can do. I can Matt Reif and get fake teeth, I guess. Yeah.

Then that'd be a whole other thing. Mm-hmm. Right? That'd be different. Looking forward to that. Yeah, my teeth are different. Pete Davidson is making his fans sign an NDA prior to showing up to his show. And if they're in breach of this NDA, they can face up to a million dollars in a settlement

agreement because the spoil that he's worried they're gonna leak his jokes online so what you have to do is prior to the day of the show you have to sign the NDA or you get a full refund the I don't know what the Hollywood thing is from that like the back art but that's the same art that's at the Target Glass Hill Park that's the same art that's at the Target Glass Hill Park that's the same oh really yeah they get it from there just copy paste be talking about that seems like it bro yeah dude

shout out to Soder dude he had dropped a fire special boom that is uh do you see him around New York then I've known Pete since he was fucking 15 years old I like Pete too he's's always sweetheart i don't see him a lot anymore because i think he's in like a different stratosphere of like where fame is where i think he like jet packs places and then can leave or uh he's not like doing spots around

not really but i just think this is so funny if i tried doing this dicey dicey moist critical alert yeah dude shout out to moist critical I didn't see that coming what do you think about Pete Davidson B well you know he's a good friend of the shop so I'm not going to make fun of him no idea he's definitely one of the 250 dude right alright let's see

here we did review Pete Davidson special and you did not say that. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I mean, that special was terrible, but check it out on the Patreon. Yeah. This is Astro's Creep 5 Coup. I don't know how to say the name still, but it's called Shab's Shab. That's the one that made me laugh really hard in the last one.

Yeah. Shab's still in denial over his failed comedy career. Let's see. What is this show? First of all. I know. He always, where does he find these people? And why isn't he finding us?

I know. His name is literally in every single fucking time. Why do this guy's show when you can do our show? Yeah, B. We have red chairs. I thought you were a numbers guy. Wait a minute, dude. What is this chair?

Is that the old chair? That's the old chair. Whoa. What the fuck? Maybe we need to find out who this guy is Maybe we need to reach out to Shabby To find out who he is Who is that guy

Nobody knows who you are B I pull back on my comedy Because Between what I'm doing with the cars The podcast Game bread commentating It's the CEO of Kibbatech. Something I have to give because my son,

he's gifted at baseball. He's on a travel team. He might be a fucking L.A. Dodger, dude. His schedule, I mean, they're practicing four days a week. Then he has games Saturday, Sunday. I can't miss games. I just can't miss it anymore. So something I have to give.

So it's a balance balance i'm figuring it out oh he's not on the show is that guy just making fun of him oh no i think he is on the show okay there's multiple clips from the show okay okay um what do you think about that dude straight talk wireless i don't know if this uh will make sense to people out there but the guy on the right to me he looks like anytime you sort of vaguely know a chick and you meet their boyfriend they look like that oh yes you agree yeah yeah i mean look at him yeah you're like oh okay cool how you doing and then it gives you hope that you'll find a chick someday you know what i mean boom boom all right let's go to the next one this is uh just a quick reheat reminder of the hilarious time

B thought he was going to be the soy boy Suge Knight, posted by Alex Ander Robb. I don't know what the reference is, but this had a lot of upvotes. Just a quick reminder of the hilarious time. Yeah, I don't know who that guy is. Who is that guy? I don't know. Is he one of our guys?

I don't think he is, dude. I love that guy? I don't know. Is he one of our guys? I don't think he is, dude. I love that there's a Shab face mask, though. Yeah. Kind of a soy boy move. That's the soy boy reference, I guess. Yeah. And, I mean, Shab, he's not doing that silly grin with the cheese out. Like, he's like.

Yeah, it's almost normal. Yeah. He has sort of a weird. It's like the camel, Joe Camel type face. Yeah. Like, even if he makes a normal face so maybe we're kind of gadushian maybe he's way he's just trying different faces to hope and one day he'll have a normal one yeah to make in pictures but you got to wear the shoes

you want to wear dude or what is it called what is that we'll see i mean i hate pictures seven times a week i never look good so i get it i mean I mean, look at this, dude. Never mind. This one's posted by Crame Chrome. It's called, I love how high fashion is simply no longer a part of Bapa's wardrobe. Instead, only vehicle brands oppose her in its purest form. So this is, again, is a constant theme for Bapa. Nobody in his life is telling him, nah.

I'm sure that when he picked up the Gucci bag, he, like his wife was probably with him, hopefully. Yeah. And he was like, should I get this? And she's like, oh yeah, definitely. She should have been like, absolutely not. Yeah. A fanny pack Gucci? What are you doing?

And then everything else is wrong. My pants, weird shoes. And then I got a Starbucks woman's hat. Yeah. Yeah. That hat is definitely waiting in line before you at Starbucks, right? Absolutely. I was trying to reference your hat. Yeah. Yeah, that hat is definitely waiting in line before you at Starbucks, right? Absolutely. I was trying to reference your tweet. Yeah, yeah.

Very long time in line if that hat is in front of you. Yeah. And, you know, they're, I want to call caramel frappuccino with half-inti and raspberry cream, whatever the fuck. Yeah, that hat is definitely asking for two pumps of vanilla, if you know what I'm saying, dude. Yeah, pumps is in it, for sure. Yeah. Let's go to the next one. It's so hard to do picture post reviews.

This is a Breaded Fury post. This one I have seen. It's called Jessalynic dropping some catnip. I haven't seen any of the clips this week. I just fucking, I just go be. Right. And I want to, this is a very funny clip, and I want to extend my forgiveness to Jessalynic for gadooshing him.

Yeah. Past episodes. Oh, he's been dropping fire yeah not that he cares who i am i don't matter yeah it didn't count but this is so funny that i have i have changed my opinion let's see is it oh no fucking streamable it gives me so much joy for you he knew some of them somehow anyways. And he's a criminal. And now he's going to jail. And it was all easy to find out because it was on fucking Snapchat, too.

Like, it was just like how, beyond being, you know, like a psychopath. Snapchat, you can delete. Right? You can still find these things. You can still get them in the end. He tried to do the face face i'm trying to do the impression i can't this may not mean anything to you but i'm sure some of our listeners will will like this and i bet aaron will like it he gave me a signed uh brendan shobb ufc card

that i that i now have in the plastic that i'm i'm very uh i'm very happy about i mean i'm i'm a regular listener to the show. Jessalyn and Rosenthal Vanity Project, that is. Jeremy B. That is. Junior Vice President. Yeah, so I know Brendan Schwab just from those stories. I've heard it both ways.

People, people. You're deep in the chains if you do the both ways things after all that. What's it called? That's exactly how it feels when we have a guest and we do shopisms and there's that awkward silence afterwards. It's like holding for laughter for homeless cats everywhere, dude. But yeah, that's very reminiscent of what it's like to have a guest that has no clue what the fuck is happening.

Oh, one of our guys, huh? Oh, yeah. We got a post from Sean McGorgle, dude. He just goes, B. Let's see. This is posted by 8inch redact uh it's called rate this dish what are we what are we gonna do here do we reading it sure let's see here it got a lot of upvotes so let's read what sean's got going on uh so brendan chobb can't do stand-up comedy anymore because he's too busy wrecking his trucks to get on tmz and doing his podcast and he can't miss a single one of it run on sentences dude that's it that's his can't miss a single one of it. Run on sentences, dude. That's

his middle name. It's a stream of consciousness guy, right? Yeah. He can't miss a single one of his son's Little League games on the weekend. A lot of dots. Unless it's a unless it's to commentate for Game Bread FC or do a fighter in the kid live in front of 25 people across the street

from Rogan's Club in Austin once a month or to do anything else he can find that isn't comedy. Take it from here, Dean. But it's always been your dream, Bapa. Remember? Ever since you were six years old in 1990 when Ace Ventura came out, 1995 actually, and you were running around

saying, alrighty then, you stealing another comedian's material is the only believable part of that. When you weren't making thousands of dollars selling comic books out of your mom's bedroom that you converted into a comic bookstore to total strangers. Remember? Yeah, it's good. It's, you know, don't ever cross Sean McCorkle or you will be being

gadooshed repeatedly for years. Years be. That's how long this post is, years. Remember that, though? It was before your dad showed you the first UFC in 91 and told you it was your new dream to be a UFC heavyweight champion. Take it from here. Except the first UFC was in 1993,

and weight classes weren't even introduced until UFC 12 in 1997, dot, dot, dot, when you were 14. And what about the NFL dream that you never played in and never got drafted or signed a contract for maybe if you could have repped 225 pounds on a bench 47 times like you can now allegedly when you were 23 years old instead of the 20 reps you were only able to do then you could have got drafted damn dude you went on yeah this is like your all your bullshit being read out to you yeah it's like try drinking a cappuccino with the buffalo bills after that needy yeah you know what i mean

my only problem is there's a lot of numbers in that dude yeah well sometimes you got to be a numbers guy yeah there there is times where that it's called for dude you know you're right yep uh let's see this one speaking of numbers how many uh how many shows have they done live one dude eight inches you got me uh somehow you're right uh this is this one's posted by our guy haphazard it's called r.i.p residency long i don't know what's in this clip but i hope it's not what the fucking title says dude yeah let's see hold on where i was going with that before you tell that story is you got to go to vancouver and then i remind you yesterday i'm like well remember bo we got to be in austin on friday went that's right that's not happening and i don't so this is i just assume

you know no this is do you want to be their lie detector right now dude as well why it's not happening or what do you mean? If that's true. What did they say? What was the reason for it not happening? He's going to be in Vancouver. Oh. And then he's like, hey, but listen, Papa, you got to be in Austin on Friday. And then he's like, oh, that's right. They're brave

because Chang's is definitely going to verify that information. It'd be funny if they started going to these fake places for fake reasons just so that it looked like they were there so they don't get gadooshed. But they bet it'd be funny if they started going these fake places like for fake reasons just so that it looked like they were there so they don't get

gadooshed but they don't care. They're just losing money on trying not to get gadooshed. Fuck I gotta go to Vancouver for the weekend. They don't care about they don't care about

what some fucking cat profile things dude. Some like homeless guy. The eggs on Twitter. Yeah. Let's see. I just assumed you were, you were just down for the cost.

So this is, this is a very good, this is a very good segue because you know, I, uh, I make a lot of plans and what, what you have to understand is that I keep my personal life and my entertainment life very separate on social media and stuff like that.

I don't like showing my family and stuff like that i'm comedian you do some though sometimes but um it's not that i'm i like to protect their privacy right and so um my my my dear friend tarik as you are dear friend tarik tarik right i know you got thoughts on tarik i mean i'm so glad they're talking about bringing up tarik dude someone we all know one of our guys tar Tarek, Legs. All these people bring a lot to the show, right? And Brian Callen. I mean, Tarek's probably, for all we know,

Tarek's one of the Scottish noblemen. Well, my name's Tarek. Who is one of my, I talk to him all the time. And yesterday my- Do you talk to him all the time yeah yeah and yesterday my talk to him all the time or do you talk to him yeah i'm saying dude good day watch out for jarro he'll light you up wife is in the kitchen and she couldn't be more pregnant like she couldn't be the baby is literally hanging could you never even with you and i i mean we're like brother yeah dude she came to the dinner and i was like you're so pregnant she's like brandon tell him like i found out like three days ago you were having this is it's a tarik i do the work i put the video on

her and he goes wait what's going on i go what about tarik dude tarik will never tell you anything yeah the other day he showed up and he was like so sick, right? He was coughing and shit. I was like, dude, you're so sick, right? Like he was literally like fucking like stuff's coming out of his nose. He might have had COVID. This Tarek guy, man. He's just always so crazy, dude.

You know? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Brian Count's having another kid? No. Tarek having another kid? No. Tarek's wife, I guess. Oh. You're pregnant as shit.

That's a weird bit. They like, you know, these guys and they start saying like, his wife was like insanely pregnant. And then you go, you look at your wife and you're like, are you really? You're thinking in your head like, are you more pregnant than most pregnant women? But I get what, I think what they're saying is he didn't tell them that she was pregnant, I guess. Yeah. I don't know.

Weird. Let's see. Talk about it. Wait, what, what's, you're pregnant. And I, and I realized I hadn't told him. You don't share anything. And then Frank Grillo. Yeah.

Oh, fuck. I'm so dumb. So Brian's, Brian's the one that's not telling anybody. Oh, that's why he said I don't share stuff. So Tarek said that his wife was too pregnant? I don't know why Tarek is in this shit, Doug. Yeah. I got confused.

Who the hell is John Africa, bro? Okay. All right. Well, that makes sense. I'm glad you and Brian cleared that up. It doesn't make sense at all. He's like, I got this friend Tark and my wife is pregnant. This is why

Austin is not happening. It doesn't make sense because he's like, you know, I'm a very private guy. I don't tell anybody anything. Now he's telling everybody that his wife is too pregnant. This is why he doesn't tell anybody. So he can use it when he has to cancel shows. Yeah, yeah.

That's a good... Dude, we should take notes, B. Yeah, we're just going to get a bunch of people pregnant. Let's see here. I have to hear from my ex that you... That your wife is pregnant? I get that. Like, that's what's going on?

It's not that you're private. You just don't even think about it. I don't talk about it. I just feel like a guy's not going to be like, if I say my wife's pregnant, it's all good, but then we're moving on. You're not going to be asking me questions about it. It's not that interesting to you.

No, it is. There's pretty. That's a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. All right. But yeah, you're 87 years old. You're having another kid.

Talking about Robert De Niro be another person. They have to teach never to be a duck, but a hawk? Yeah. That's a big deal. Yeah. We're going to get three more specials at this kid. Hell yeah, dude.

That was a high five for the audio only listeners. Important. Well, it's very important, but when I have the baby, we'll talk, but I don't know what else to say other than she's pregnant.

But you got to let people know in your life, for God's sake. I agree. I have to let people know. I just. Like when I was like, dude, your wife is ready to pop, which if you're not going to move to Vancouver, we got to. Well, you said to me.

Did he say move to Vancouver? Is he moving? No, no, no. You're ready to go to Vancouver. I'm like botching learning what's going on in this thing. Yeah. It's confusing though. It's very confusing.

To let people know. I just. Like when I was like, dude, your wife is ready to pop which if you're not gonna move vancouver yeah you gotta sounds like you're saying move yeah but i know what he means he's like can vancouver the show oh okay this is all about the like the residency shit it's all smoke and mirrors to cancel the show yeah yeah he's not or why it's not pregnant and we're laughing because we're friends i'm not happy about the canceling of the show whatsoever. Yeah, yeah, no.

We wanted to go. Yeah. Well, you said to me, you go, she might have a baby. And I go, I can't go to Austin. I can't go to Austin. It was like a light bulb. One of you goes, oh, shit. That's right.

You could have the baby. I go, it's embarrassing. I go, here's the thing. Yeah, it's just the way you're wired. You're not a bad guy. You're just a social guy. But the thing is. No, I just don't.

I just don't. You just don't think. You're not a bad guy. You're just a sociopath. But the thing is. No, I just don't. I just don't. You just don't think. You're not a bad guy. That's so, like, just, it wouldn't be a bad guy to not tell people your wife's pregnant anyways. Yeah. Yeah. Like that evil man didn't tell us his wife was pregnant.

What a fucking douchebag, dude. Think that way. Right. I told Brian, I said, you know, I have three kids. Even if she has the baby on Tuesday, you don't want to leave on Friday. Like that's Navy SEAL butt camp. Yeah, I have to be there to drive her. Navy SEAL butt camp?

Wait a minute. Bud camp. Like SEAL. Bud camp, dude.'t i don't understand the reference maybe that's how long a seal camp maybe the first week of a newborn is the hardest week oh duh yeah all right this clip is like exposing me too yeah i'm gonna delete so much of this clip please do the airport beat i mean to the fucking hospital i gotta be there in the hospital all that stuff and it just doesn't seem real like i'm looking at her going oh you're so pregnant you're gonna have this baby like i'm supposed to have it october i know she's supposed

to have it um april 14th can't control that april 14th that's why you don't yeah so i wasn't planning on her having it don't work that way but you i mean you've had this your fourth fucking child dude you know it doesn't it doesn't give It doesn't. It never works that way. But that's why I told it's like, even if it comes on Monday, Tuesday, you got to be there on Friday for sure. I love Austin. I love doing the show. But the birth is four times in your life. I called Brandon.

I was like, hey, dude, I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. So where's Tark? Tark, I guess, is like, he was brought up to be like, damn, you didn't tell me your wife's pregnant. So that makes sense. Now I'm like, this is kind of fucked up because Tark is like a really, we all know, he's like a close friend.

It's like, dude, your best friend, someone we all fucking, we love seeing on the show and hearing them talk about it you're not gonna tell them dude yeah what are we doing here yeah so i'm kind of pissed off oh yeah and then brandon is another person he just brought up brandon yeah he just said brandon right now i swear to god you heard that right i didn't even hear that one let's see here either on friday for sure i love austin i love doing the show right but the birth is i is four times in your life. I called Brandon.

I was like, I go, hey dude, I'm an idiot. Dude, Brandon. Brandon. Yeah. I mean,

that's even more fucking makes me mad because Brandon is like huge. Yeah. It's like, oh, you're fucking not going to tell Legs,

Brandon, and Tarek about what's going on, dude. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. I don don't know I don't even know what to say I'm kind of speechless imagine if you told Justin and not Tariq or Brandon you know what I mean I mean if you wanted to hurt me you got me brother we're still friends but

I don't even know what to say can't talk it I'm an idiot like my wife is popping now I thought she'd have it a month from now but she could have it idiot stop saying your wife's popping you fucking weird loser and this is why you should communicate even if you would have told like you told me like a week ago communicate communicate is good and i didn't realize how pregnant she was till you came to the surprise birthday party yeah i was like oh my god yeah and i was't realize how pregnant she was till you came to the surprise birthday party yeah i was like oh my god yeah and i was like oh that's interesting we're still doing austin but i didn't bring it up at the party yeah but even if i would have known i'd

like oh let's push austin to april end of april makes sense like you gotta like you shouldn't be in vancouver i'm taking all of april yeah like And that was planned. I said, I'm not going anywhere for April because I got to be. We could do a live fire on a kid in LA, but there's no Austin. Yeah, I'm doing Brea in LA, but that's Friday, Saturday. Yeah, that's fine. They can get you back home. They can figure it out. Yeah.

But to go like, to get on a plane and you're leaving, like you can't do it. No, no, no. You know, four times in your life you have kids. Yeah, to be there you got to be there and she's such a troop she's such a badass she's like i got this i'm like no no you don't have this i i'm not you're not driving anywhere you're not going there you don't want that dude no no right so uh so we're gonna reschedule austin yeah you. You can, it makes sense. You can like leave the country

but not the state. No. Because like if you leave the country it's like quick. You just go to Canada. You come back. Maybe your wife's

going to still have the baby but like if you go to fucking Austin, dude, it's far. Yeah. Nobody knows where you are, B. April,

so May, June. We'll do May, June maybe. Sorry for the head fake, guys. So we'll do live Finding the Kid and we'll figure out a location in LA for April. You know what I do? Bring your baby to the live show. I'll bring my baby to the live show.

Like the day it's born. Oh, dude, LA. I got a place in the comedy store. Original room. Dude, the grandfather ship dude yeah oh well you've heard about the uh the father ship right you mean the stepmother ship they call it the father ship now what's the father ship the comic the vulcan oh yeah so we'll get to that later though there's some clips about that uh let's get to more uh t fat k K, dude. You know what we're here for, dude. Absolutely.

Timer's still running. We're at about like three minutes. Let's see here. This is posted by Moneyloan1864. It's called, Rinks yells at Bapa, or Brenda, for his marketing skills. I read Bapa there.

If your girl has that body for marketing, we're all talking about it. It's brilliant. If your girl has that body for marketing, what does that mean? We're all talking about it it's brilliant if your girl has that body for marketing what does that mean we're all talking about it it's brilliant okay all right let's see yeah like that's it you noticed it yeah if you just did a cover with him with a gold grill like new connie you don't give a fuck yeah but it's brilliant we're all talking about marketing just because we're talking about it doesn't mean it's just

it's so you know anti-semitism and all that stuff all that stuff you know it's the number one album in the world yeah but that's not

that's not a thing to be that's not good his number one album no it's not good it's not good that he knows how to trend by being anti-semitic or that he's

I'm not saying it is he uses people like his wife to do that I'm just saying it's working but working in what sense? What do you mean working? He's a billionaire. That doesn't mean shit, Brendan.

He's a billionaire. Oh, man. That's so funny. Hey, man, money. You got money. I got this shoe here. I drink out of shoe. Kanye West has a lot of shoes.

He can pour anything in there he wants. He's got money. It doesn't mean shit, Brendan. Burrows are the easiest. You just drink it, and you got money, so you can do whatever you want. Doesn't count. Doesn't matter.

Doing a show with a child. That doesn't mean shit, Brendan. That he's making money? No, it means nothing. It means zero. It is like saying, well, just because something works doesn't mean it should be, like, in any way, in any way applauded. It's bullshit. I'm not applauding it. And it's a classic example of what's wrong with our culture.

I'm not applauding it, but if you're Kanye West's manager, you're not going to say, hey, don't do this. Jesus Christ. Hey, don't do this. For the anti-Semitic stuff, you're not going to tell him not to do that? Okay. Free Palestine, dude. Well, okay. I could give a fuck about what a manager says.

I mean, these are not criteria for how to live a life, a good life, in my opinion. I think it's just fucking, it's literally worshiping the wrong things. It's not good, but I- Bring up his wife. Let me see what the latest outfit is. I just saw. She is a- Yeah, it wouldn't work if she was a warlock.

Yeah. She is a- Yeah, it wouldn't work if she was a warlock. Yeah. Yeah, you're like Rogan. Don't like you're like rogan don't like the name rogan don't like the name he was like i love the whiskey don't like the name i was like well we're rogan is smart well now we're talking about marketing if it was stand-up or you know or business-wise i'll listen but marketing i'll take it from here because rogan hated on my name on the on the whiskey it was tiger thick Tiger Thick. Great whiskey, hate the name. Great club, hate the name.

I thought when I first heard... Shaw, like on marketing, he's like looking at Kanye like, you know, it's working. I mean, maybe... And so somebody asked him about October 7th. He's like, doesn't count. But they kill this many Jews.

I'm not really a numbers guy. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't count. Are not really a numbers game don't matter don't matter don't count are they under six foot don't matter all right we got another hap clip dude it's called it was more about her that makes sense hmm what do you think it's in reference to uh it was more about her i don't know kate middleton let let's see you guys we haven't seen each other since we had my surprise birthday party yeah oh

yeah you guys surprised the hell out of me did you get surprised I had no clue I had no freaking clue yeah dude we gotta do that you don't do that gotta add that to the repertoire dude I'm such a bonehead. You don't do that. I'm such a bonehead. Got to add that to the repertoire, dude.

I'm such a bonehead like that. Yeah, dude. It's good. That kind of stuff. No, never. You never do that. My wife put together. I had no clue. Yeah.

I played the Tigers baseball game early, and I was like fighting with her. Yeah. We were up 10. I wanted to invite Chin, and I wanted to invite Snaz, and I wanted to invite everybody. But you're- You invite Tarek, you bitch? Fucking asshole. What about Brandon?

Yeah, what about Brandon? Your wife's pregnant as shit. Wife had very little room. So Chin, you were the first person on our list to come to the surprise birthday party. Yeah, because you're part of the family. Don't blame me, Chin. I didn't organize it.

You're part of the family. You were the first person. I thought I went because we were trying to the family. Don't blame me, Chin. I didn't organize it. You're part of the family. You were the first person I thought I went because we were trying to think and stuff and we're like, well, what about... I was like, we can't have a surprise party for you without having Chin and probably Sanaz, but definitely Chin.

Oh, that's Sanaz. Yeah. Okay. I never knew her name. Never met her. My apologies. I've been with her forever, yeah. Chin's our family. And you're just in check. never met her my apologies i've been with them forever yeah chins are chins are family and um

but i think i think how many how many guys have fucked you instead of them yeah yeah i think his wife it was more about her family and and her friends she was having that and there was like just not a lot there was like room I realized really quickly for me and you and then Jan was there what's that Jan was there gave a great speech

yeah but if Jan's there that guy should have been I was always nervous but I was actually out of town I was in Arizona so that you should have said so you should have said oh Jan was out of town

I knew that you were proud just know you were the first person that got on my list I love you both thank you very much I appreciate that

but Jan like anything like that hey dude hey he got it he got it he got it don't worry You were the first person that got on my list. I love you both. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. But, gentlemen. Like, anything like that. Hey, dude. Hey, you got it. You got it. You got it. Don't worry.

Yeah, but I want them to know. I don't even know. It was more about her. What was it? Oh, I think it's because, like, they showed her in skimpy clothes, maybe. Oh, skimpy clothes? Skimpy. Skimpy. The kid protector outfit? Yeah. Yeah. All righty. shoulder and skimpy clothes maybe oh skimpy clothes skimpy they can protect your outfit yeah

yeah uh all righty this one's called 100 straight alpha male joseph rogan posted by seaweed remarkable that's just a guess i probably miss what it's really about yeah we fucked that clip dude let's see here what do you like because you said you really love watching action are you very critical when you go and see a movie like a steven seagal movie are you someone those all those movies freak me out i just i hate those movies you wouldn't be you wouldn't see a movie, like a Steven Seagal movie? All those movies freak me out. I hate those movies. You wouldn't be in a Steven Seagal movie? I would do gay porn before I would do a Steven Seagal movie.

Absolutely. Thank you very much. Are you cheering because you want to see me do gay porn? Are you cheering? Oh, you freaks. I know what this is. I hate those movies. they're all horrible they give a really bad it's a really bad portrayal of martial artists you know like guys get kicked and they just get a little cut on their eyebrow and look kind of sexy

you know they're horrible bad movies bro when i was watching that shit dude i was gay bro i was joe rogan gay bro now i mean i was gay with salsa on it dude i don't think i don't think joe rogan is gay bro i don't think i don't think he's gay bro but he do what he do i forget what she'll say he definitely done thought about it though he do oh what is it show says but if he do defend himself from being not gay pretty bad. He's on Conan O'Brien being like, I would do gay porn before that. I would do gay. Those karate guys look sexy.

That's Andrew Schultz. Gay porn execs just like lean forward in the chair. They're just like, what? We can get Joseph Rogan? Yeah, there are numbers, guys. Yeah, dude. All right, this one's, I'm going to cut this one short. It's a unique video. The beginning just made me laugh so hard. Okay. And it's a streamable, so we might get fucking have to stop it here. Let's see here. Streamable Bapa continues to do copyright takedowns after he lost the lawsuit

redacted and neeked posted by Joe Rogan, truth or triple X, but this made me laugh. You people will never understand the behind-the-scenes battles I have to do with that unfunny, unselfaware piece of crap Brendan Schaaf. He's still doing copyright takedowns. The dude loses in federal court and just keeps doing it. So, I get this from YouTube. Your video has been taken down from YouTube. Brendan Chobb loses

race. By the way, this is one of the old videos that was restored after the lawsuit and my main channel got back. So, yeah, anyways, it's just been breaking it down, basically. Listen, Unique, you knew there was 500 pages of Monster lawyers before you started doing your shit bro yeah so you know i'm saying pick up the bag you dropped it bro you know i'm saying where where's the bag

now who has the bag oh that's right brendan shopped us yeah dude yeah you gotta pay all them lawyers and shit bang it'll be a bro uh i don't know if you already saw this one. It's just so funny to me. You know, Dune 2 is out right now. It's posted by Riff Raff the Alley Cat. It's called Straws Are for Pussies. That's so good. What are we doing here? Pretty epic.

I haven't seen the movie yet. I'm going to see it tomorrow, I think. It's a great film. Yeah. Never seen it. But let's go to the next one, dude. What else we got here? Okay, here we go dude

what is that real i don't know i don't know 1799 this is posted by pojit069 it's called found it and apparently tiger thick is selling for 1799 at what looks like bevmo look at them pugs not a single one has been taken more pugs have been bought there's two people have bought pugs over tiger thick saw a tiger piss in the wild stuff is top shelf literally wish i was being sold at the price listed above the box okay okay it's not 17.99 yet dude more tanks have been sold than fucking tiger thigs nah uh all right let's go to the next one what's this one okay so here so here goes the Fathership. Okay, you're telling me all this. It's posted by Chin's Second Balcony.

It's called The Stepmothership Has a New Name. Let's see here. We have a live Friday Night Kid, March 29th. That's a Friday. One show only at 7.30. Brian Callen, myself, very special guest. March 29th at the Vulcan, the Fathership. We will be there March 29th, live in Austin.

Tune in. Get your tickets right now, Austin. Get your tickets. That's another shot. Get your tickets. Get your tickets. Look at that donut shirt, dude. What do you think about that, daddy?

Redacted. Shout out to Sorgon Ver, dude. He built the trucks we walk on. Yep. He built the tires we kibbutzik on let's see here this is posted by dazzling rabbit 633 it's called apologizing to bobby for threatening to destroy his career swiftly became look how much of a man i am sketched for brian beyond belief i don't know what that means but let's see defend me and i've also always defended you. Yes.

It's what we do. It's what I do, dude. I go to the mat. We've been in situations, even physical situations, where there were a bunch of very dangerous people. And I was like, you know. You were down. I was down. I wasn't down.

I know. You were. They were real guys who you were afraid were going to fight you or come at you. And I said, hey, dude, for me i'm i'm needing me with you motherfucker i i i'm not a tough guy but i'll i'm i'm not leaving your side and i reciprocated that when i know you went through yours so that's how it is that's what we do that's how that's what we do okay yeah i mean couldn't have said it better myself they're basically the movie roadhouse yeah you know they got each other's back when it's down the line.

Yeah, daddy. You look to your left, you look to your right, the protection just tripled up. Mm-hmm. The redecks are all around, dude. There's an African man in the corner singing.

Right? There's a Scottish nobleman coming. You mess with Brian Callen, there's going to be a kid with a shovel there keeping you busy dude boom all right i don't know if we should play this one because last week's episode got gadoosed hardcore when we did the star wars one oh okay but this is epic dude it's just we should we just say to check it out then or what yeah do you check it out on the subreddit it's posted by

mock it farces it's called bop aglifics the short film me and brendan watched the last night she's an egg flicks it was yeah like um i'm you know watch it um the thing is we just can't have three minutes of no you know no audio yeah people don't like it that's really guys redacted uh all right so this next one is posted by cyclone number 13 as we already know this show is probably not happening, but it was four days ago, 10 days ago, you shadow band Bubba. It's just, you know. Just devastating for the five people that bought tickets.

Well, not five, probably more than five. Yeah. It looks like four tables maybe. Yeah, so one, two, three, four. And then there's some of those other ones. So, yeah. Five tables, six tables. You know, you could do a show for that.

They were watching the explanation like this. Just making people homeless out here, dude. Yeah. Let's see the next one here. But they never cancel shows, so it's rare. Yeah, never happened. Callan had to cancel. We probably already watched this one.

This one's posted by Haphazard. I think this is the short version. So let's go ahead and skip that, dude. Or let's see. Everything that drives them to get to where they want is a noble, is necessarily comes from noble. No, for sure not. Decisions.

Narcissism is very helpful. Yeah. Good. All right, kids. We did it again. House of Comedy, I'll see you this weekend. He's doing the shows. Yeah, I can't do that residency because of my kid,

but here's another show with three nights. Five shows. Five shows in another country. Yeah. Interesting. Only 250 could do it, dude. Improv, April 19 and 20. Come get some.

I thought you were taking April off, dude. Yeah, but that's in the past. But you're in Oklahoma in April, too. Oklahoma, April 26, 27. Oh, my God. Even Brennan's catching on. Yeah, dude. They have to lie to Brennan about this because he'll get real sad

if he realizes no one's coming to the Austin show. So they're like, yeah, man, it's just like all things going on. He's like, oh, fuck. I wanted to do the show. But I got that covered with family. I wanted to do the show. But I got that covered with family. Oh, gotcha. Yeah.

A lot of family. Oklahoma City Bricktown Comedy Club. I'm excited about that. April 26, 27. Come get some. All right, kids. Love you. Did it.

The fighter and the kid. Come on, baby. Back to back podcast Brennan one of the things about doing it a day after is there's always that fear that we don't have anything

to talk about but let's be honest there's always something to talk about we're a couple chatty Cathy's talk about it right now any news on the baby

now I thought before you say give me the date um you have an obligation to Vancouver this weekend. Okay, so I think it's the old. Yeah.

That was good, though. Yeah, dude. So what do you think about that, dude? You going to go to Oklahoma to see BC, dude? I mean, I wish I didn't have a job so I could go to everywhere. Yeah. Fucking follow like the Grateful Dead and shit. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. What are they? Dead heads? Like, well, rinks? Heads? Boom. Boom. Gadooshed. well, rinks? Heads? Boom. Can't think of something to say. Good. All right. So this one's called Condom

Fish Gin. Uh-oh. Dude, I'm not going to play the whole thing. It's a very long song, and it might get gadooshed. It's posted by Hemp Farmer 90. It's just so funny what they edited. Let's see here. Okay. We bought this mobile app.

Trash bags floating by. We saw a used condom. A used condom. A used condom that just worked. I bought this. And I froze this for a couple days. And I thawed it out for two and a half days. Not three days.

So. So. couple days and i thought it out for two and a half days not three days so when you grab a hold of me you tell me that i'll never be set free cause i'm a parasite creep and crawl i step into the night Two pints of booze Tiger King Tell me are you a condom fish too? Perfect, dude.

Perfect. Are you a condom fish too? Yeah, are you a condom fish too? Well done. Every time they do a Chin song, I'm like that Jay-Z meme where he's like, that's exactly how I feel wait a minute is this a banger a banger

shout out to chin dude never stopped never stopping dude please uh this one's posted by cruel ambitions it's called what are you doing There's no baseball and crying. Does he say that? I hope so, dude. Oh my God. A league of their own. Ever heard of it? Great movie, never seen it. Let's see. Their anxiety.

And I was like, boss, he's in his uniform. Like all your friends are going to be there, your family. And it hit me. I'm like, oh, he's never dealt with nerves. He was like excited, but he's nervous. So he starts crying.

And I'm like, what are you, we're on the field. I'm like, what are you doing? There's no baseball and crying like what are you doing there's no baseball crying what are you doing holy shit dude what are you doing there's no baseball crying what are you doing, dude? Perfection. Dude, it's just like the gift that keeps on giving, dude, you know? That end of that clip is like a sommelier being like telling you about the wines and you're like, oh, I want that one.

He's like, I can't. You can't have that one. And then you're like, well, what if I, you know, you're like Papa, you have the money and you pull out like whatever, a hundred thousand dollars or something. And he's like, he pours it for you and you drink, you do the sweet and you drink it. And you're like, wow. Wow. Your whole life has changed.

Yeah, dude. Yeah. That's, that's amazing. We have almost, we have like the moment of silence there a little bit for it, dude. Yeah. That dish had a little bit of notes of redacting it. That was, that was classic. That was bit of notes of redacting it. That was classic. Notes of redacting.

Dude, that was great. I want to see it again really quick, dude. And there's no baseball and crying. What are you doing, dude? Crying. There's no baseball and crying. When your dad says that to you and you're just like, he actually said that to Boston that way.

And Bob's like, what? What are you saying, dad dad what are we doing here oh yeah dude that was great all right let's go to the next one dude this one's posted by i downvote cake days it's called uh bapa claiming he casually did 21 reps of 225 on monday after not going to the gym for four months there's three numbers too many right there. Let's see here. I know. I'm not saying anything. I haven't worked out in four months, and I did 225 on Monday. Yeah, but okay.

Well, sure. 21. 21 reps? Yeah, is that good? I don't know anymore. I haven't been in forever. That's crazy. Oh, shut up.

I haven't been in forever. Is that good? Uh-oh. Dahlia's starting to touch him, dude. Uh-oh. Yeah. Take your own medicine b yeah yeah dicey dicey all right let's go to the next one dude let's see what we got here uh you'll never guess why

papa got into trugs posted by stone 0777 we're flying through these clips we still got a fucking hours worth left though let's got like five minutes left. Oh, you're right, yeah. Channel and just keep on doing different builds. Yeah, I think, you know, really, my boy Hector and Rogan were the ones that were like, dude, you're doing all this cool stuff with trucks, and whenever I talk to Rogan,

he's about trucks, cars, and fighting, and he's like, I don't get why you don't do something with this. I'm like, I don't want to brag. I feel like you always flex on people. He's like, no, no, no. If't do something with this. I'm like, I don't want to brag. Like, I feel like you always flex on people. He's like, no, no. Because he's like, if you're doing like American stuff, people can relate to that. The exotics, they can't.

So it was really, you know, a suggestion by him. And then I just ran with it. Nice. Okay. So another horrifically bad suggestion by Joe Rogan. This man is like the king of bad ideas. Just, yeah.

Joe Rogan should be like Hannibal Lecter, locked away, but no one should visit him. The opposite. You lock him away and then never ask for advice. Cut to Joe Rogan going he's like either do american cars or gay porn that's your option all right so this one's posted by money loan 1864 great person never met him it's called papa never farts in front of his girl slash wife it's so dumb all right classic dumb guy take never fart in front of your girl yeah well just like yeah you can't fart in front of your girl. Yeah. Well, just like, yeah, you can't fart in front of your girl.

Like, or girls don't piss like idiot, like meathead stuff. Like you wouldn't even really talk or think about that. Is that your takeaway? Yeah. All right. And then he's like, does Brandon just fart in front of his girlfriend all the time? I know. It's one of those things.

I don't take Ozempic and everyone's like, he takes Ozempic, dude. Let's see. I've never farted in front of my girlfriend all the time i know it's one of those things like i don't take ozempic and everyone's like he takes ozempic dude let's see i've never farted in front of my girl never what keep it sexy she's never farted in front of me not once that's okay i understand that because you know females never farted in front of your she's a princess where do you fart yeah i'll pull the silencer i'll grab a cushion. What if it smells? Would you rather just fart in front of your girl or get one of the cushions and shove it in your ass? Eight inches. Okay. Good answer.

I'll sit. And what if that's not how farts work, man? Yeah, it is. Fart. Yeah. Yeah. Try it. This conversation is so redacted.

Like, I reject the premise, you know? Like, you shouldn't be talking about this on a podcast. This is the quintessential dumb meathead bullshit. Yes, you should try not to fart in front of your partner, right? But, like, the idea of, like, on a fart or talking about it at all, it's just not worth it. Yeah. Everyone knows you fart in front of your girl, dude. So, wait. So, okay. So, you fart in front of your girl, dude.

So wait. So, okay. So hold on a second, because this is something. Oh, really, dude? Dolphins fart on people, bro. What was the Chris D'Elia-ism where he was like saying the food sucked and stuff like that? And then he said, dun, dun, dun. Yeah, he was like, the food on craft services wasn't even that good.

He was talking about that movie, the zombie movie. I'm going to say some real shit here. I'm going to fucking blow your mind. I fart. I farted on set. That's funny. That's funny. Let's see.

10 years, 11 years, not once. But not... My wife's Mexican, so she's farting. She be farting. I swear on my life, never. These guys are all geniuses, dude. She be farting is... Dude, he must be friends with Andrew Schultz, dude. Oh, she be farting!

Yeah, dude, there's levels to these farts, bro. He's like the baby of Matt Reif and Andrew Schultz just saying she be farting. I'm be real with you, dog. The other day I was trying to do a TikTok, bro, and all of a sudden I heard. I looked at my girl. I was like, was that you? 10 million views. Yeah, dude.

Just laughy face emojis in the comments. Yeah. Okay, hold on. Hold on. On the kids fine i understood so you never let one out and it was smelly no and no i'll go elsewhere that big house right i'll go elsewhere get out she farts i go get out like we're watching this because we love these guys like we love these guys and it's it's fun us. But can you imagine a normal person enjoying this? Like, what if your parents were watching this?

Oh. Is this a trick question? Because, yeah. Dude, I enjoy this. You never fart in front of your chick? It's like two, three meatheads being like, you fart? Did you fart, dude? And it smells, though, right?

Mm-hmm. What is this? It's like when people are like, how many chicks you fuck? I'm like, cool story, bro. How many fucking farts do you have in front of those chicks dude and still fuck this part of the show is them clearly having taken off traction control this is very baja mode energy oh yeah b bme bme big big baja mode energy daddy Mode energy. Daddy. Nick, so you have a... How early in the relationship were you just ripping farts in front of her?

I'm not ripping farts. He's not ripping farts, bro. You put more farts. Don't include me in this, dude. I'm just trying to produce the show. Yeah. Leave me alone. It's happened, yeah.

You're putting farts in his butt. Yeah. It's happened. Well, it sounds like he has an issue, right? No, man. You're kind of making it... No, he just said he has a stomach issue yeah yeah but but the way you're doing it you're like leading it you're leading no no no you don't do that you're undermining people that's hilarious excuse me drive teslas don't do that that's so funny dude have you ever heard of have you ever far

went excuse me wow great take yeah redacted as always, but we liked it. Yeah. I'd rather be a redact than a fucking smart guy, dude. I'll tell you that right now. Drive a fucking Tesla three or some shit. Yeah. Imagine driving a Tesla, dude. That was like, what did you just drink a big gulp and you got to go to the bathroom? Duh.

All right. Let's see. This one's posted by toxxoplasmosis. Great name, dude. It's called the Will Bapa Parrot or Botch It. A little of both. RIP Hammer. I don't know what this is about.

We'll just watch. Coleman suffered smoke inhalation issues after saving his parents from a house fire. Now, thankfully, we're seeing that mark is starting to recover but michael the man is a legend he is also a hero and they were very worrying scenes there we go couldn't hear myself that is a former heavyweight champion the godfather of ground the pound and a legend in this sport now let me tell you this is an amazing story so he's asleep his dog hammer comes and licks him wakes him up the house is on fire he goes upstairs saves his mother carries her out the house goes back into the house carries

his father out of the house then he went back in to get the dog sadly hammer the dog did not make it but mark coleman did he was airlifted to the hospital and the first words out of his mouth was i'm the happiest man alive i was able to save my mother and father. This man is a legend. This is an incredible story. Well done, Mark Coleman. You have the respect of the mixed martial arts community. And, of course, Hammer, rest in peace.

Yeah, I mean, he literally did the job of a firefighter with no equipment, all by himself, and he's got the smoke inhalation. So fast recovery, and God bless you. Sorry for anybody who has to choose between their family and their other family member, a dog. A praise with the Coleman family. That's how he gets a speedy recovery as well. What the fuck?

Why is that on change? I don't know. I missed it. Oh, okay. So it's a will Bapa parrot or botch it? I see. I see. So like Bapa's, he's saying Boppa pair it or botch it? I see. Rule of both. I see. So like Boppa's, he's saying Boppa's going to, yeah.

Definitely going to have his hot take, dude. Yeah, well, good for him. I'm glad Mark Coleman survived. Yeah, people like to try to get ahead of the fucking needle. Or how do you fuck that up? I don't know. I was just trying. People like to get ahead of the end line.

Sure. The finish line. I think you're naturally doing it. People like to get ahead of the end line. Sure. The finish line. I think you're naturally doing it. I do it too much, dude. Because they know Bapa's going to come hot Monday morning. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, Bapa, I would say parrot.

He's asking us to guess. So to answer the chef's question, I would say parrot. Who's parroting, though? These ducks or that hawk? You know what I mean? Papa's going to be the one to fucking have the last word tell you that. Parrot or last word haver, dude? Or parrot or botcher or both.

Or both, I guess. But maybe I have both. Maybe then I change my mind. Let's see. This one's posted by abtb12. It's called a shark when it comes to marketing, B. And it's Fat Tom with a Thick Boy Nation shirt on, dude. Damn.

Goes good. You know what that goes good with is a nice tall glass of Poroso's, B. That's what I heard. Yep. Checking that luggage, B. Let's see. Next one is posted by Master Mechanic Bean Dip. Or it's posted by PP Stains in the front.

It's called master mechanic bean dip somebody please change your name to master mechanic bean dip now yeah let's see what this is about the other thing is i replaced the steering wheel i put uh a trx uh racing carbon fiber steering wheel without uh leather or alcantara on there and um installing it either i missed or i'm not to throw anybody the other bus. So let's just say I did it. We didn't connect the airbag. So that front airbag was not connected.

Gotcha. I would have went off, which could have been bad or good, but that's how we figured out that that was not installed correctly. Did you have an airbag light on the dash or anything? Nothing. That's what's alarming. That's weird, yeah. Normally, if the airbag's disconnected,

it's going to put that warning light up. His face. He knows nothing. Not a thing going on in that brain. What does SR stand for? Where do you see SR? On his hat. Oh, I have no idea. Lord knows, dude. Also, BTB in that brain. What does SR stand for? Where do you see SR? On his hat. I have no idea. Lord knows, dude.

Also, BTB in the back. I've never noticed that before, but to me, BTB means business to business. Is there corporate tagging? What is this? It's all about that three C's right there. That makes more sense. Yeah, because I just

replaced the steering wheel in my ford lightning i have a 2004 ford lightning i put a ford lightning ford steering wheel in that i installed that myself and as soon as you unhook that airbag that light's you know going instantly yeah so i don't know that's odd that's very odd yeah because it's not true the guy interviewing him is like when you talk to a kid and Oh really? So you're, you have the superpower to fly and you're the strongest boy in the world. That's so great.

Interesting. Normally people can't fly or lift cars, but you can. It's so weird how whenever Bapa talks, it's kind of like hearing somebody talk about their dreams. You just don't care. Yeah. It's like,

they're not real. Yeah. And they're not real dude. Uh, this one's posted. I you dude how you like that boom boom oh this one's posted by haphazard it's called boppa gives 100 effort on the premium episodes three minutes let's see if it's worth it um actually i'm really good friends with hot carl from tinder oh really yeah she was my roommate's childhood best friend. Oh, wow. I own a gym out here in Austin, and believe it or not, she actually works for me now.

She works the front desk part-time for me. Oh, tightrope. We're in Austin on the 29th, live-firing the kid at the Vulcan. Come through, brother. Bring hot Carl. I heard it both ways, B. Yeah, bring hot Carl. Eric, I got tickets for your show at the mother chip so anyways um i'll just get right into it so i'm looking for some advice um right now i'm

getting married at the end of the year hopefully this is probably gonna get good dude yeah we have so much music yeah and um my wife currently works as an assistant manager. Just to see how long it is. He's on his phone. He looked up for a second. But the music is what makes... Back down. You'd be funny if there was like

golf narration. He's on his phone now. He's scrolling through. What's it look like scrolling through Instagram? He's trying to find an Adderall dealer on Snapchat. Does he found? No, he hasn't found it, no. Now he's checking his YouTube

statistics. He's back up. Back up. He's back up. He's a real master of the craft. As you can see, he cares a lot about pretending to care what the guest is saying. Really, if you didn't notice, he already plugged his show, so he's now deep into his phone. Even his mind now is kind of wandering.

Unfortunately, he has peed his pants. Yes. It looks like he had a big gulp today. Couldn't make it to the sink. Okay, he's thinking about something. What is it that he's thinking about, Charles? He may be thinking about... Oh, back to the phone.

Back to the phone. Yeah, he's on the phone. Looking up ways to pretend you have not peed your pants. Yes, he's on about, Charles? He may be thinking about... Oh, back to the phone. Back to the phone. Looking up ways to pretend you have not peed your pants. That's a Google search. Seems like he's bowls deep in his iPhone right now. Let's try to just watch this. Some would say the bowls deepest, yes. I heard it both ways, Charles.

Painfully, painfully redacted in this clip. Oh, the photos are gone. He may try and spill the coffee on himself. Now he's talking. Let's try to hear and listen to what he's saying. The point is, she asked for it 15 months ago. They said yes.

But also, is she a regional manager or something at Lululemon? That's fair. That's probably fairululemon? That's fair. That's probably fair. I feel like that's fair. Good luck, brother.

Congrats on the wedding. This Lululemon stuff will be something of the past. I'm sure your girl will find a great job, brother. Absolutely. Appreciate you, gentlemen. Take care. See you in Austin. I got to roll, kiddos. All right.

See you. Happy birthday, man. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. He's leaving the studio. Yeah. Yeah. So he. He's leaving the studio. This is unprecedented.

He's never done this before. He's never missed or left a show early. Bye. And it's probably some fat, lonely chick, too. How about, like, you understand? It's like, oh, you're getting married. Okay. She's just hating.

She's ugly. Hey, man, you're done. We're not having a conversation with you anymore She said she looks like Megan Fox Yeah, yeah, yeah More like Megan Ox Oof Oops Yeah, so that was fun

Golf commentary is something we need to go back to, dude Yeah, that was a good idea I've been watching a lot of golf recently, so Pretty skilled Hey, I noticed Am I getting peeled? is something we need to go back to, dude. Yeah, that was a good idea. I've been watching a lot of golf recently, so pretty skilled. Hey, I noticed. Am I getting peely? You did good. Oh, okay.

All right, this one's posted by Joda Mofo. It's called, Imagine being one of the two insignificant to be mentioned other friends. What a sad excuse for a human being this redact is. Got another streamable daddy they threw me a surprise birthday party on friday because i had to leave my son's game a tad early where it went in so it didn't really matter so to leave the game early don't count that was just

me me my girl and i get then that stinker my favorite restaurant here in the Valley, the steakhouse, old school steakhouse. Callan was there. That's about it. No, it was Callan, Tripoli, Griffin. Who else was there? Oh, Jan surprised me. Yeah, Jan was there. Jan was the man.

And then some of my other friends. But it was great. Tark. Man, I wonder what steakhouse it is because that's something that i could i love steakhouses yeah what if i ended up there that'd be different yeah i'm like a steakhouse with salsa on it dude boom boom i'm more of a olive garden guy let's see this one's posted by money loan 18. It's called Coming to Terms with Ozempic. Oh, okay. Painted narrative, I think. Yeah.

Question. Don't take offense to this at all. Oprah did a special last night. She left Weight Watchers, and she's like pro-Ozempic now. Would you consider? I'm not saying you need it. You're beautiful the way you are. No, no, no.

I don't want to do that. Anybody know anybody in here taking Ozempic? Yeah. Any family members? Nothing? No, no family members. Chin, I don't want to do that. Anybody know anybody in here taking Ozempic? Yeah. Any family members? Nothing? No, no family members. Chin, when you were 300 pounds in high school, if I offered you Ozempic, your ass would take it. What?

When you were 300 pounds in high school, I know you're going to go 289, whatever. I took everything. You're 300. But would you have done Ozempic? Yeah, if I could afford it. You're fucking right, dude. Chin eats fucking condom fish. He'll take an Ozempic.

What is the psychology of deflecting? Deflection is a defense mechanism. Okay. Asking a joke, making a joke, or even becoming defensive or aggressive. I think that's a good diagnosis of what he's doing. He nailed it. Nailed it.

Nailed it. Hammer on the head B. This one's birthday talk from the 41-year-old posted by Haphazard. Let's see here. Good morning, kids. It is Monday morning, March 18th, 9 a.m. I'm the dot.

I see a birthday boy over there. It's Casey's birthday. Birthday boy right over there. It's your birthday. right over there birthday birthday pisces on pisces we're a pisces sandwich did you do anything he just goes b yeah do you know i like it yeah are you beating that i mean it's today but usually celebrate over the weekend because mondays are awkward yeah my uh brother shane flew in from new york my voice is a little bit jacked up, huh?

Up late? Yeah, up late. Yelling, drinking? Boozing. We played golf Saturday and Sunday. And I think we're going to play a little bit later today. Oh, damn, that's nice. A lot of golf for you.

You know what they should do? Like, they should embrace. We always say this, but they embrace Chang's or whatever. And when Brendan says stuff like seal-a-brate, have one of those stupid seal emoji things pop up on the screen. Yeah. Just like that, dude. Right?

Dude, I like how you call this stupid. Oh, we do it. But I mean, we do it well, though. I mean, they do it too. The one brother came out? Yeah. Sorry, I pushed play. do it too. The one brother came out? Yeah. Sorry, I push play. That's nice.

Yeah. They threw me a surprise birthday party on Friday because I had to leave my son's game a tad early. We were winning, so it didn't really matter. So I had to leave the game early. That's about it. No, it was Callan, Tripoli, Griffin.oli, Griffin, the whole thing uh who else was there uh oh Jan surprised me Targ yeah Jan was there and then some of my uh other friends but it was great man I knew about it you knew about it and you didn't come uh I mean you're golfing

I knew about it. I didn't get an official invite. Really? Yeah. Really? That's a bad. I just figured you didn't come. Maybe next year.

You know you're getting older when, you know when you see a surprise birthday party, like, hmm. You know? Like you look at the guest list, y'all. All right. Well, you know. Oh, wow. Okay, yeah. Welcome to the party. Oh oh people are there that shouldn't be there oh that's fucking people not one of our guys is not there

we all wish we could be like shop dude yeah no it's like you're just getting older man you know it's just how it goes this is a good time though i don't care too much about birthdays kiddos birthdays i go nuts those for. All I wanted was the birthday cards from the kiddos. I got that this morning. And then whenever my girl asks me what you want, I'm like, don't waste your money. Let me just, I need this car part. You don't know what it is. So let me just do it.

And then you can say it's from you or just put a bow on it then i'll install it on the on the truck so i got a uh a carbon fiber hood for the new trx which we got the episode coming soon toontown it's gonna be dope drop the car off to magnuson supercharger this thursday it is a monster it's a monster but yeah happy birthday case happy birthday the pisces out there happy birthday the pisces out there but yeah happy birthday Case happy birthday to the Pisces out there happy birthday to the Pisces out there happy birthday

thanks dude but a beast of a husband you know you always want to tell your wife like hey you don't know

anything you stupid bitch yeah like just I'm gonna buy something and then you can say that you got it

whatever I don't care fucking leave me alone usually with a raised fist right and that's how you keep a successful marriage yeah someone asks you what you want for your birthday say fuck off Usually with a raised fist, right? And that's how you keep a successful marriage.

Yeah. Someone asks you what you want for your birthday. Say, fuck off. I like drugs, okay? This became a two MoMA, dude. 10 minutes of marriage advice. Yeah. Two MoMA with Brendan.

I'm as my new co-stains in the front new co stains in the front. I did have pee pee stains earlier. Let's see here. This one's posted by pee pee stains in the front. It's called Bapa adds a Harrow to his already staggering list of heroes. Apologies for the episode going a little over 10 minutes. Cause there's a lot of clips. Yeah.

Like I don't think they're going to care about 10 minutes and 10 seconds. Yeah. So then it's so quiet. You know, I got it to about 1,200 horsepower. Yeah, 1,200 horsepower, fly horsepower. It sounded like a Banshee is my favorite. I had the Sandblast edition.

Ken Block was the one who kind of put me onto the Sandblast. He was one of my heroes. so I got the sandblast. I'm your Hucklebee. You want to talk about Charles Manson? I read Chaos. I'm your Hucklebee. Well. I didn't think you had it in you.

I'm your Hucklebee. Hopefully that doesn't get gadooshed. He adds to the hero to his already. I don't understand that. I don't know. It was funny, though. Yeah. Well, let's see here.

That was the most boring podcast clips we were seeing. Let's see. This is a picture post. It's not a phase mom posted by Fantasy Flyer 3. UFC, bikes, outfits, and trugs. Good shit, dude.

Yeah, I mean. Talking about personality B? He can't enjoy things? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. Yeah, dude. Oh, I'm sorry. You drive an electric vehicle, dude. What is it? What is your post? North Korea with a beach?

All right. Let's see this one. It's called a real story about Brendan's experience with couples therapy. Red flags posted by Glass Gadouge. I'm thinking maybe they're from Glasgow,

this poster. Oh, okay. I guess. With your... Or the glass window gadouche. I'm so fucking stupid. No, you're great, dude. You have a male therapist, not a female therapist.

Male is the way to go? For me, yeah. Because, I mean, this is going to sound really shitty. I respect women, but like... Shut your mouth. I don't want to... You don't know me. They can't relate to it.

You're not going to relate to it. I went to... I don't mean to interrupt you. I went to a relationship. This is one of the classics, right? I feel like we used to talk about interruption with birds specifically. Oh, okay. Yeah.

That's good. I don't remember this clip. Let's see. I was a therapist with my girl, and it was this female. And I'm like, you have no idea what this is like. You can't even relate to this. You're used to it. And you can't even relate, not that I'm a male, but what I do for a living.

So you're so far off even from understanding males. But from my perspective perspective the world i live in you're not i might as well be a fucking husky it doesn't matter i might as well even be here yeah and i got nothing out of it dude i got nothing out of it yeah i mean i consider myself a husky pant size you know well not anymore dog no i'm kiwi now yeah that's right i went with and she fucked up. She's like, well, what would, scale one to 10, how involved are you in this relationship?

And she asked me first. And in my mind, I'm like, don't answer this. I feel like I was in the core of the law. I'm like, do not give a number, Brendan. Do not give a number. I gave a low number. And it would not go well. And she goes, you?

And I go, you're a nine? She goes, you're a three? goes you're three i'm like i'm sorry one was in on and i went you fucked me i went you fucked me you thanks you fucked me because when this is done 50 minutes i gotta deal with this yeah you fucked me and she's like no one fucked you relax i'm getting fucked right now you know what what? You're fucking me, lady. And then my girl's like, see what I deal with? She's like, I do. I'm like, fuck both of you. How about that?

Yeah. You take check because I'm out of here. It was the worst, man. Having a male therapist is so much better because it's the worst story ever. But Bird is he's supportive. Yeah, I would say he's laughing it's not necessarily a fun watch but it's nice of him to be like laughing like that because it can't be

easy to fake laughing no but they did fuck him right I saw it I saw it wasn't there but you know I don't know what to say two redacted to uh this one's posed by haphazard it's called he never eats or talks about trucks on air whoa oh okay this is a

development you know that i gotta be good oh he kept the tongue in you saw that uh-oh is he like learning or listening i wish we could slow motion this. It's got to be good. It's just chocolate and icing. I'm a chef. Okay. You should see the bread I made. Bread?

Bring it. Here. I'm going to send it to you, Jim. All right. Bring it up. Pull that shit up, Jim. Bread's no joke. Let's see if he does it this time.

Is it good bread or no? Yeah, it's not. Listen, I grew up on Albertson, so it's not going to blow your hair back, but I like it. It will blow your hair back. Why does he have to talk in similes and metaphors, dude? I don't know. Nothing's going to blow my hair back, B. You kiss your bald ass. Oh, shit.

It's an emergency. We couldn't get the ones in time, so what can you do? Be honest. I prefer this. All right, there you go. I'm not Brian. And it's your birthday, so that's what matters. Yeah, fuck you, dog.

I've taken to, I'm a chef. I like to cook. Let me tell you something right now. Yeah. I'm going to entertain this right now. I'm going to entertain this. Because, dude, wait. Hold on, hold on.

You're in a truck with fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know. No, hold on. I'm still interrupting. I got something to say,? Because, dude, wait. Hold on. Hold on. You're in a truck with fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know. No, hold on. I'm still interrupting. I got something to say, and this can be like nothing. I don't talk about it here. No, but I.

Because you zone out. That's fine because you're a gay man. I've never eaten on air. Maybe on a road I've eaten on air. I've never eaten on air. That's not true. We've seen you tongue in a bunch of times. Maybe he's like watching, and he's like, oh, I got him.

I'll just keep my tongue in now. But then instead he ate on air and then like ate with his mouth open and while talking and stuff. And Albertson's cupcake for some reason. Why? Because they make fire cupcakes, dude. So yeah, well, you'd think that because you're a gay man.

Gay. This one's called New Comedy Fathership Presents T-Fat K and Joseph Sr. It's posted by SuccessfulEgg8345. The smallest video I've ever seen. Let's see. We rename the Vulcan the Fathership. The Fathership's so genius, dude.

That's a great idea. The Fathership. If you couldn't get into the Mothership, come over to the Fathership. Fathership. Right? Presented to you by... Your father.

If you lied about your father, what do you... You give up the world. I'm tired of it, Joe. I just had enough. If you can't talk to me face to face, you're a punk ass. That's all you are.

You got all the money, everything, but you know what you don't have? You don't have no heart, and I'm going to but you know what you don't have you don't have no heart and i'm gonna tell you something else you don't have you ain't got two balls this is really the fighter and the kid nice you gotta play the duck noise for um rogan style yeah yeah that's the whole clip right there. We just watched it twice, basically. Pretty good. Yeah. Let's see here.

We got three more. Dude, oh my god, I want the show to be over already. We got to strap the fuck in. I know I'm zoning out a little bit. I feel it. I'm still here. I had to include the Gringo Poppy, dude. You know how we do. Oh, shit. It's a post by DazzlingRabbit633. I do not, for the life of me, know brendan said it like this guess that's comedy b seven days a week let's see here before i go

dude just like to learn spanish put a little effort and learn spanish how hard can it be I'm 38. I struggle with English at times. I love it when he does that shit, dude. I'm 38. It's so funny every time. Not on purpose. It's so fucking funny now, dude. That's not why you guys are here. Let's start the timer.

Poppy, listen, bro. You's not why you guys are here. Let's start the timer. Poppy, listen, bro. You gotta get yourself a Latina because they're spicy. All right, let's go to this one, dude. We got two more. Let's see. This one's posted by Order Flimsy. It's called the water. And it's just... I don't know what it is

because she like... I don't know. Oh, that face says water right there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You understand. And then we got this one to go to here, too. The last one for the day, posted by Moneyloan1864. It's called,

Clint Disagrees With Bapa on Octopus Documentary. Let's see. You're threatening her. There's a documentary on Netflix on octopus. You'll never... Oh, that's why I don't eat it anymore. They're so dope. My octopus teacher.

Yeah, they're great. I saw the whole thing and it just looked kind of shady. Yeah. Well, that's because you eat octopus. Whatever, dude. Octopus are dope. No matter how you feel about the documentary, octopus are dope as shit. I mean, I don't eat fish, so I'm good. Anthony Bourdain. You don't like fish?

Back to the fucking SeaWorld shit, dude. Blackfish. And he's balls deep in fish, as always, dude. Fish Cars Kids. If there's something that happened years ago, and it's about fish, Bob was going to bring it up. Blackfish and octopus, B.

Hell yeah. Well, anyways, that's our show. Join the Discord. Join the Patreon. Join the Reddit. Have a great week. Bye.