10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schwab CAN'T GET IN AT THE MOTHERSHIP! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #70

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

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If everybody had a Nostal across the USA Then everybody'd be Netflixed like it's two girls both ways You'd see them wearing their thick merch Toe-hole sandals too A Kim Jong-un black hairdo Trump on T-back hair You'd see them Netflix in Melbourne On the Teeth-Pack One take We will never do the Beach Boys again

Welcome back to 10 minutes of shop. As always, please join the patron. It's desperately needed. We are reviewing stand-up specials. We just did Rob Schneider special. What was it called? What was it called? Woke up in America.

Oh, yeah. We took two weeks off of the comedy reviews because we're so on Netflix with work and stuff. Yeah. Kind of blockbuster for content. But it's back, Daddy. It's back, Daddy. Leave a comment with what especially you want us to do next.

And we also have early access to this show on the Patreon. But anyways. Also, too, October 15th, I'm at the Ontario Improv. Oh, look at you guys. The white boy that worked too much, baby. Nice, nice. It should be a hot show. Tickets still available. Yeah, but it's the call before the storm.

Don't forget that. That's right. That's right. All right. Well, anyways, that's not why you're here though. No, you are here to watch 10 minutes of shop. So start the timer play the chin clip timer starts now. All right. The first clip here is posted by you. My ninja. Oh, that's a dicey dicey name

right there, dude. It's called Brenda. Brendan Schwab. They don't spell his name right. That's disrespectful. Schwab tries to get in the comedy mothership. Let's see this. Got plugged out. I thought we were going to have audio. All right. Audio is king. Let's get back to it. Here we go. Best brains be. This looks like the beginning of enter the void by Gaspar.

No, no way. Never heard of a great movie. Never seen it. Hell yeah, dude, that movie. Let's be honest. dude that movie could have been an hour and a half dude but it could have been shorter it was four hours it wasn't really yeah i you know i saw it a while ago but i really liked it that was good same here it was crazy it was you're right it's probably a lot of incest though kind of weird what was there maybe it's a different movie let's see here i appreciate can i help you oh i like how he got that far

into the mothership without even just like bypassing the line oh that's the mothership wow what i didn't know oh well the audio probably messed you up but yeah this is brendan schwab trying to get into the mothership. Oh, another instance of me not even listening to the title. But it was maybe that. Let's go with the audio as the reason. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm with the crew.

Which crew? The camera crew? The media crew? No, no, no. Whoa, whoa. Hey, I'm sorry. I thought this was America, bro. No.

Terrible, terrible reasoning. I thought this was America. I like no, though. I mean, no is just like you saying no to the guy, but it sounds like you're saying no. This isn't America. This is Alston. Yeah, we do a six street six street different.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I thought this was America. I'm with the crew, bro. I'm with the crew. Joe Sidney. Joe Sidney. Joe Sidney. He told me he sent me. He sent me on. Hey. Joe Sidney, bro. Joe Sidney, dude. Joe Sidney. He told me. He Sidney.

He Sidney on. Okay. Let's be honest. It doesn't sound like Brendan. It sounds like a Brendavious, right? This is Brendan. All right, Brendan Sneak in. That's so funny.

Oh, you're saying he sounds like a black guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't. I honestly, I don't think so. Well, when you say bro bro bro bro i think could be so many races now dude i mean look at trevor wallace's bro oh yeah you're right oh this is probably trevor wallace yeah i mean this literally could be trevor this is trevavious dude but they probably like throw out the red carpet for him and schultz this is schultz

recording yeah if he says the word merch well you'll be hearing this from my people. Yeah, that's it. Right. Let me grab my tech. Follow me on Snapchat. He said this is not America. Oh, what the fuck? Brendan Schwab's voice randomly at the end.

Just go today. So what do you think about that? Trying to get into the mothership? I can't believe that the mothership has security like that. They're all decked out. That's like the comedy store with salsa on it, dude. I mean, the comedy store, they have security now, but it's not like that. No, they don't got some dude with a vest on?

Yeah, they had more than one guy with a vest on. That's crazy. And then the guy with the vest on had one of those like hats with the U. What is that? Is that a Perry or something like that? Like a nicer clothing line? What is it called? I think that's what it was.

But anyways, they're- Eight inches B. This next one's posted by Kilo One Kenobi. I guess it's from an old episode of T fat K with Shane Gillis. Oh, yes, this is great. Pal Lacey. It says we all know he really thought it was chomping at the dick. It's

and the clip is called, you know, it's chomping at the bit right? Let's see here. Get me out of it. Yeah, and that's what you're dealing with. And there's a hundred other guys just like me that are fucking chop. I like how he says a hundred. There's a hundred other guys like me. Nobody's just chump. I like how he says a hundred. There's a hundred other guys like me. Nobody's just like you,

Brenda. You're one of a kind. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, no one is. No one is like scoop. Nobody's wearing.

You say this all the time. Nobody's wearing that. Nobody's wearing the chief Wahoo hat anymore. You know, and no one has ever been this bad at stand up. Yeah, it's if if scoop was like, hey man, you're like me.

It's almost like an insult. Really? I think so. I would be honored. If he saw himself in me, I'd be like, whoa, dude. I got to sit down. I'd like it in the sense that it's flattering from his perspective, but at the same time, I'd be like, nah, Baba.

We different. I mean, yeah, there's a fear inside of me that he'll treat me like Eli from Thorough will be blood at the end of the movie where Daniel Plainview kills him. If you're ever to me. Oh yeah, I mean he might be very angry with us. I am a real comic. He throws the pin at me. I'm I'm good douche. Don't bully me, Brendan. Okay, I'll stop just like me that are fucking chomping at the dick to make you. You're not going to make it. Yeah, there's no. And I was like, that's my time.

That was a real classic. Wait, you know, it's chomping at the pit, right? Yeah. He did not. No chance. Yeah, there's no way. He, I don't think he, my guess is he doesn't always say chomping in the dick, but he said it wrong this time. And then he immediately realized, and instead of being honest, he did a boppism.

Could be a Freudian slip. That's right. With all his history, you're right. I mean, you can't count anything out with this guy. Chomping at the eight inch. I mean, dick i mean the bit gigs be good too many people say chomping at the bit true so i change it up if you genuinely were like no saying that for your whole life yeah and i'm chomping at the dick no one's corrected you that'd be so funny i like the i like the idea of too many people say chomping at the bit.

I just don't think that's true either. I don't hear it. It's a saying. It's like, you know, people say it. Do too many people say firing on all cylinders? Cinders, as I say. No. Chomping at the dick.

It's so funny. Why would you come up with with that it's so bad chomping at the dick chomping at the dick they're they're different in denver dude i'll tell you that right now is he people hanging out with them have never said anything to him about chomping at the dick um you know maybe we're behind on this one so i'm pretty sure people got to the bottom of it oh but there's listen dude where there where there's smoke, there's fire, right? He didn't know the original saying. No, I mean, there's so many saying like he there's so many things he gets wrong and doesn't know, but this one he knows the smartest tool in the shed. Yeah, yeah,

dude. Yeah. Anyways, let's go. We're trying to speak for him, but we shouldn't because it's always probably the we always know the answer to true whatever the most redacted thing. Yeah, exactly. This one's posted by haphazard homie homie. Oh, shout out to hap. It's called got rid of the overly modded truck that was too big to replace it with a too big

modded truck. Let's see it in there. I know carriage. Yeah, yes, disgusting, but and I don't know if that's good or not. That was the Raptor. I got a TRX. Are you stuck in the comedy store parking lot? Yep, I remember that. This one's way bigger, right?

Or it's not? To be fair, and I like Raptors. Listen, it's like Yankees, Red Sox. I don't care. Either team TRX or team Raptor. That Raptor, to be fair, it came pre-modded, so it had carbon fiber all over it.

It was lifted. It had this boss. It's always like, what is he even talking about? Every clip, to steal his face, what are we doing here? TRX versus some other truck is Yankees Red Sox. I don't think that's a good analogy, and I don't even know what he's talking about. There's just no way it is. But it does answer my question. Remember I asked, like, what is TRX? Oh, that's a kind of truck, I guess. Yeah. TRX is Raptor. Come on, B.

You know, trugs? No, I don't. I like acting like I do though. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, and people may respect you more. Yeah. You didn't have to tell the truth there. Come on, dude. You know, that makes, you know, that makes you different then. Yeah. I'm different. You didn't have to tell the truth there. Come on, dude. You know, that makes, you know, that makes you different. Yeah, I'm different. You're different than Bapa. You fessed up. You know, you were going to, you could have made me look like a little bitch. You can argue that I'm the same as Bapa because I'm acting like I know about trucks. But then you immediately said you don't.

No, I know. Okay. So yeah, I'm different. Because you could have made me seem like a duck. Yeah. But instead you kind of, you're like, no, no, Brennan, my friend Brennan, co-host, my North Star, if I may. He's not a duck.

He's a hawk. He's a hawk. Yeah. The funny just doubled up. Trying to get better at Brian. That's my whole thing is just to get better at Brian. All right. Sorry.

Okay. So let's keep going here. Suspension. It had so many issues. The engine here a suspension it had so many issues the engine was tuned it had so many issues i so they just tuned it wrong so i got rid of it so and i couldn't and i couldn't drive it so why'd you get this one because i like freedom that's not really an answer though is it because i'm american cold blood america okay that's fine but why but i got that one because there's a hellcat engine there's so many possibilities you could that's fine. But why? I got that one because there's a Hellcat engine. There's so many possibilities.

That's a good answer for a lot of crimes you can commit. It is kind of like. Why did you rob the bank? I like freedom. American. Because I'm American. Because I'm American. American about my shit. Yeah.

I'm an outlaw. I got that one because it was a Hellcat engine. So many possibilities. He sounds like somebody that has no idea what he's talking about. Define Hellcat engine, Bren many possibilities. He sounds like somebody that has no idea what he's talking about. Define Hellcat engine, Brennan. Eight inches. Okay. So daddy by next Thursday is going to be at overall.

Daddy. 1,000 horsepower. Right. I know. I saw that. Race me in your Ferrari. Hey. Race me in your Ferrari.

But the fact that that has 1 a thousand horsepower because it's a big car, so it may not go that fast. That's like his only takeaway, dude. She's good. Quite a good point. It might not go that fast because it's a big car like come on dude. Come on man, but how does it go that fast if it's only I see what you're

doing what you're doing, but this is ridiculous. He's saying that the truck can beat the Ferrari. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. It's a comedy podcast. Brendan be cool. He's joking, bro, but I don't understand the joke. He's a premier stand-up comedian. I don't get it. He almost toured the UK. That's right. He did have a tour going. He was a lot closer than we are. I'll tell you that right now. Was he? Open question. Open question.

Oh, really? Yeah. That's what I'm here for. I don't know if that'll work. I'm like Vin Diesel. I live my life one quarter mile at a time. That's Vince Diesel. He's like Vince.

Yeah. Vincent. Fine, but that means you're probably going to either die soon or run out of money. You know what I mean? Fair point. Yeah, yeah. Okay. He does.

He's just doing voices. Really, when he wants to do a bit, there's no bit there, but it's the voice. Yeah. Oh, really, dude? Oh, really? Oh, really, dude? Boner alert. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, too, there's been other posts. Oh, dude, I don't know if I pulled it up. Maybe we'll see later, but he's got a story post where it says gets only 10 miles per gallon. Good. Oh yeah. I saw that. I saw that.

I mean, we do a lot of voices too on the thing. Yeah. I just, they only do one voice and I think we try and have like an idea behind the voice. Like when we're like, if I said I was going to do a voice,

you'd agree. It's kind of the same not going to lie but yeah, but I don't know. It's still funny like Daniel Plainview saying good good good. It's a good one. That's a good one. I love abandoned my boy good but there's like a bit behind

that and it may maybe we're wrong. Maybe it's tired, but not yet. I don't think oh dude. Yeah, so that is tired my favorite comment silence do good on the patreon right overuse the good bit good yeah that was he i think he might be the first person to have said that yeah other people have tagged it but you know i even think that doing that exact same bit over and over again is funny yeah so far it has been uh all right so and also two people are like where did you get the good bit? It's been like so old.

It's because they said it all over T fat K and we watched that one long clip before we started recording last week. Yeah, you heard it. I didn't. And then you said it. So then we just started doing. Yeah. And I was mocking Brendan because that's what he said.

He's like, I watch Jocko Willink at four in the morning. So I was like good. And I'll admit another omission here is I do like the Jocko idea. Oh, yeah. It does make me feel good. Oh, yeah. Well, same. I did like the Jocko idea. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It does make me feel good. Oh yeah. Well,

same. I did it before Jocko said it. Yeah. Swear to God. It was more like a thing in the kitchen. Be like, Oh, we ran out of tomatoes.

Good. But not, not with a voice. Good. We'd always say good. It's ridiculous in the way he does it where he's like, you know, Oh,

your son has cancer. Good. Or whatever the, whatever that clip is. Good. Or his daughter had pneumonia. Yeah. ridiculous in the way he does it where he's like you know oh your son has cancer good or whatever the whatever that clip is good or his daughter had pneumonia yeah watch this clip like obviously that's ridiculous but the idea of like just you know anything that bad that happens just say good and try and overcome it i like that message look these are dark times for us we're open micers yeah yeah open micers with no uh no promise of a future. Good. All right. So this one's

posted by who the fuck are we? It's called a beast of a comic. Well, of course, a misspelled comic. Let's see in our field and stand up. So Shane Gillis, number one special, great special, no one special. I'm just laughing at like

the ideas in our field stand. Everything he says to me is funny. He's just talking about saying I'm just laughing at like the ideas in our field. Stand up. Everything he says to me is funny. He's just talking about stand up, talking about Shane Gillis is a good stand up. You know, he's like my coworker and he's like number one now. But, you know, I was number one at one point. Shob is terrible at stand up. I don't think he's going to say that.

I never met him. But whatever he's about to say, it's just ridiculous to be. That'd be like if I was talking about Shane like that. No, you know, we both are doing it. It's like, no, it's a huge difference, even though we're all one of the 1,000. We both put our pants on one leg at a time. Yeah.

In our field, in stand-up, those shoes. So Shane Gilson, number one special. Great special. Number one special. You have a week now. It's not like when Eddie Murphy dropped a special, George Carlin, where you're. You're right. Those shoes are electric. special you have a week now it's not like when eddie murphy dropped a special george carlin where you're you're right those shoes are electric yeah those are beetle transformer shoes but he did say

george carlin right so bravo bapa yeah it's hard for me to say george carlin now i swear to god i i always say george carlton now i'll go a step further i don't want to say carlin i want to say carlton every time. Talking about it for the next two, three years. We've been talking about Eddie's now. Now, think about it. Some of these great specials, you have a week, man. A week. Why do it?

Why do it? Why do it? What are we doing here? You're right. No more specials, dude. No reason. reason did I love the new Shangula special dude. He's he's blog boss. I'll be talking about that for a while. Nowadays you know how many times I want Santa specials dude seven times a week.

No, you watch it one time a week and you do it. You do it begrudgingly. Yeah. All right. So this next one's anything else about that one? Let's use our blog boss. Those are bad shoes like you see them in the store and you go. Wow, people buy those

and then it's like or you go. Wow, who buys those and then shop literally goes and takes them up like you got these in size 10 size 10. It sounds fun. I'm saying his feet are small dick having as motherfucker. All right. This is posted by all I do is nine.

Yeah, this is supposed to be all I do. This next one's posted by all I do is lied to you. It's called barn door played the same position as Aaron Rodgers. Let's see. Most people thought I looked like Aaron Hernandez. Wait, wait, I said he's got that look. I think he might have the same body type. Come on. I did that

on one of the episodes. I just could douche myself dude. I mean you caught yourself. I'm pretty sure I said Aaron Rodgers and didn't correct it. I did that on one of the episodes. I just gadooshed myself, dude. I mean, you caught yourself. I'm pretty sure I said Aaron Rodgers and didn't correct it. I said Melbourne, Australia. Even though I watch the clip again, he clearly says Florida. Yeah. I know. Both of us got gadooshed right there.

Heard both ways, though, to be fair. Well, I just want to say I got men on the mind, dude. Aaron Rodgers on the mind. And on the earwaves now. Let's see here. That's murder. Look at that shit. Boy, it's fine, though. Aaron Rodgers on the mind and on the earwaves now. Let's see here. That's murder. Look at that shit. Come on.

He's fine. It's so funny that he does the code switching. It's all fine though. It's just so unfunny. That boy fine. Who said that? Where do you hear that? He's like Chappelle called me Brendavious. Just saying you know I'm saying that boy phoned me did did did chapelle call him brendavious it's a joke okay you know i'm a comedian you know

what i mean yeah you're always keeping him busy yeah we just do bits yeah it's good looking yeah tell him how you were when aaron hernandez i used to have my head shaved when i found the usc when he was on trial i was in maria del rey picking up like twizzlers or something i was in the line of the grocery this dude's on trial and i hear the Marina Del Rey picking up Twizzlers or something. I was in the line at the grocery. This dude's on trial, and I hear the guy behind me going, no, I'm telling you, he's right in front of me. No, this motherfucker's right here. That's him. I don't want to go with that statement.

Go back to that. Go back to that. That's crazy. Look at that. That's crazy. Come on, man. That's crazy right there. Come on.

And they have the same size, too. Same height. Same body type. Same brain. What they have the same size, too. Same height. Same body type. Same brain. What position did you play? Tight end. You played tight end? Tight end.

You played football at Colorado, University of Colorado, right? Yes, sir. What position did you play? I was a fullback, like H-back. Okay, so you got to help me out with this. What's the difference between a tight end and a fullback? So, well, they both block, but the fullbacks more like a running back. Yeah. They're both blog. The fullback is more like a running back and the, and does,

and the tight end catches. Okay. The tight end is like a, a really jacked, big wide receiver. Uh, Gronkowski. Yeah. He was a tight end. And then a fullback is like Mike Allstott, who that's a shop is talking about before. They're like a big maybe maybe I don't know a whole lot about football, but I think fullbacks probably like a big running back that blocks more than actually runs.

Okay, he's like an offensive lineback in a way they do the similar they do similar duties, but they also run and catch. Okay. Score touchdowns. Tight. All right. Uh,

let's go to the next one. Then the fucking football is block bus. I'm trying to get into football though. I'm doing my best. Yeah, you are right. That's uh, you know,

something you're doing. Yeah. Uh, all right. So this one's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called Brenda keeps everyone honest in sports stats. Let's see. Someone's playing football and they were terrible

and i was like where's the score what's the score like we're gonna keep scoring like the fuck we don't rest the game i bring a scoreboard 14 nothing like he's more he's the most realistic when he's doing his dumb dad shtick yeah because i believe that yeah a t-ball coach is like all right kids let's just have fun we're not gonna keep score the fuck we are if he said the f yeah he's like dropping f bombs like oh but he's famous so they're like okay that's fine yeah haha you're he's brandon's got a little crazy every once in a while like if you get it hurts the kids feelings i'm like where i come from these little bitches need to know they're not good yeah where do you come from did you grow up rough i don't think so dude these little bit the fuck we aren't these little bitches need to know what's up uh i i know it's not true he's he's a

dude he's a comic all right so like yeah he's joking sure this is this is a silly time right okay yeah but uh i can't help but imagine him actually saying this verbiage in front of the kids. Yeah, I wonder. I mean, I don't think it's not possible that he's doing this. I think that they, like I said, it's the most believable of the things he says. We're not keeping score.

They think everything's all good. You were a professional athlete. It's not all good. It's T-ball. It is all good. yeah it's not all good it's t-ball it is all good if it's not all good at t-ball then where is it good that's like the those are the salad days papa yeah no that's oh no bitch it's 28 to zero it is 28 to zero y'all it's halftime what are we gonna do different i like how, which in the two is kind of like an effeminate female black woman. Oh no,

bitch. It's fucking 28 to zero. And this guy, I don't know who he is, but he's loving it just as much as we do because shop is, I hate to tell you this guy's shops funny. You know, I mean,

some of you understand that. I think a lot of you do, but if you were to go here and see him acting like this you're gonna laugh now not on purpose really but it's like impossible if you're there and he's saying things like this to not laugh to not laugh that's why he's laughing you guys would think that i'm fake laughing the whole episode of t fat k if i was on it but i would be genuinely enjoying myself like yeah because you would just be shocked at the things being said.

And you'd be like, oh, man. And then when he does a shabbism, it's like you've been waiting for it to happen. I'd be like, so what do you think about Russell Brand, dude? And then just be like, just wait for it. And just let him go. Yeah, because that's the best brains question. Because he's going to say some crazy shit on that. Or best case scenario, he just says eight inches.

Yeah. And if he hits me with one of those like elongated everyone. Cause he's going to say some crazy shit on that or best case scenario. He's just says eight inches. Yeah. And then if he hits me with one of those, like elongated, everyone, I'll just lose it, dude. Yes. Everything.

Or one of those ones where he's like, uh, when he says man at the end of it, like all long, man, I like that too. And then he goes, daddy,

I'm like, um, I'm just going to go into the mic and be like, boner alert. Daddy would be like a fine wine. I was like, um, I'm just going to go into the mic and be like, boner alert. Daddy would be like a fine wine. I was like, look at 80. Oh, what is this? 82.

Oh, we got, we went out to the, you went downstairs to the cellar to get this one, huh? 82. Those orange slices, the prime, nobody's getting that. I believe in that though, right? Yeah. Hell yeah. What's wrong with half, right? Yeah, hell yeah. What's wrong with you? Half y'all, bitch.

Good question. Good question, sir. Best brains, dude. Yeah. Even make a high school team. I'm going to be real with you. It's Coach Brendan. Half y'all shouldn't be on the field.

But we're entertaining you. He would check friends of mine. My friends would be like, my friend, because he played D1 football and went to the Buffalo Bills for a couple of minutes. But he fought in UFC, you know, so he's pro athlete.

He's like, what is happening? They all just had some magic mind. You can see on the table there. You're getting crazy. And he said, my friend said, he played in high school. My friend said, we were just talking, he goes, my friend said, he played in high school.

My friend said, we were just talking, he goes, my friend goes, I ran a 4.5 in high school. And Brandon didn't even look. Brandon didn't even know him. He goes, no, you didn't. And I told him, I said, I don't think you're lying. I think your coach who did the time is I've seen a 4.5. You don't run a 4.5.

What did you run a 4.8? 4.5. That's fast. You got speed. I was a 4.5. You don't run a 4.5. What did you run a 40 in? 4.5. 4.56. That's fast, though. That's fast. You got speed. I was a 4.6 guy. Yeah, I did probably four months ago 315 12 times. 12?

Yeah. 315 12 times. Yeah. DRT did it 12 times. You did it 12 times. Yeah, I did 225 40. I didn't follow any of that because I'm not a numbers guy. Well, that's the whole like Brock Lesnar comparison

thing where it's like Brock Lesnar did this and you did that. How is that possible be? Yeah, you know. Yeah, no, I trust in the Chang chefs that are probably right. Honestly, I like even if you were to tell us that oh, I know I'm lying. That's a fucking lie, dude. You know what I mean? It's like

it's gotten to the point where you cannot trust anything Brendan saying, but I'm game game dude i'll listen to everything that comes out well i enjoy watching him lie yeah yeah uh all right so let's go to this one it's uh posted by the homie haphazard oh it's called the year one year is up papa have you seen this one no but i like the country not the state is the tag that oh yeah the country not the state all right let's see this one here it was this time you're so smart though because that's you see a lot of people that get internet fame then they have to get up on stage and if you haven't put in the work it lasts one year sir last one you'll see them like they're big on youtube why does he have to say something dude yeah you should sit

this one out papa sit it out if they're talking about you just sit it out but then again you know it's two a double edged sword yeah you could get get douched because if papa just hits their pensive they're gonna be like he's thinking about how he sucks or whatever yeah so we should be like yeah i know i did it yeah yeah i have seen this one i i uh actually have seen this one big on tiktok or vine whatever and then they start headlining and then a year goes by like where'd they go because they don't they don't put in the work because the audience you you got one year yeah and those you can't go back it wasn't a good show you can't go back oh you're gonna do you won't grow some people

still got their audience but they they do this every year yep and and you can't grow until you you got this you can't cheat the work because you cannot cheat i don't know i don't know do you want to look it up? Sure. All right. Keep talking. I like his necklace. It says something is popping. Something is popping. I obviously couldn't pull it off, but I like it.

Let's go to YouTube. He's not wrong with what he's saying about Papa. But I don't know. I mean, I think you can. I don't know because I haven't been touring like that. His name is Country Wayne. I still don't know who he is. All right, never mind.

Let's see here. Country Wayne. Must be like an internet guy. They don't tag him in the... Oh, that's fucked up. Whatever, dude. I just wanted to make sure I didn't know who it was. Country Wayne.

He's a YouTuber. youtuber oh you do youtube oh so he does stand up oh he does yeah it says brings a southern fire and the one-of-a-kind stand-up special on father oh okay on netflix wow maybe we'll check it out someday yeah let's see here all right so let's finish off this clip no way nobody ever did it and you're not gonna feel good about it they're fruits if you don't work so yeah okay so they're speaking on it from experience because he's a youtuber turned comedian i'm assuming i don't know anything though my only disagreement with that clip is that you know don't talk about men on earwaves that's right but. But other than that, it's good. But they didn't name the waters. They didn't drop names. That's true.

Yeah, that's true. But yeah, Papa already knows not to talk about men on earwaves. I know. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Are we doing here? All right. So this one's also posted by haphazard. It's called Beast of a Dead. Did we watch this one? Maybe. Let's see. Ready?

Here goes. The movie or the cartoons? The movie. The movie's good. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Yeah, it's really bad. My son, he's at Tiger's into, was it Kazam? Which one?

That guy. It's not even a superhero? Yeah, Kazam. Why is he into that? It's not even a thing out now. I was like, that's gay. Yeah. Yeah, but he's young.

Yeah, but it's gay. I don't know how it shocks me. But it's like, it shocks me when he does that. Yeah, but it's gay. I don't know how it shocks me, but it's like it shocks me when he does that. Yeah. Is it? You're calling your son gay because he likes Kazam? Yeah. The superhero movie?

Well, I think he's saying the act is gay, not necessarily that his son is gay. Oh, just liking the movie is gay? Liking, I think, like superhero movies, I think is what he's trying to say. Brennan needs to, he needs help on so many things, but one of them is fatherhood.

He's making some, some bad, some bad decisions. Yeah. He said the effort for gay people. He said, retarded. He's saying gay.

He's yeah. He's trying to follow in Shane Gillis, his footsteps. Even after he said that Shane Gillis, his podcast sucks. That is funny. He was like, it's not that good.

It's like way better than his. Yeah. Oh, well. Well, but no, it's not gay for that young. Yeah. It's weird. better than his. Oh, well. Well, but no, it's not gay if you're that young. Yeah, it's weird.

Not all the superheroes. This is the important question. Kazam, bro? Yeah, but how old is he? Seven. Yeah, he's kind of gay. That's what I was thinking, dude. Entering into some gay territory there.

But why Kazam, though? There's not a good thing out about him. I feel bad. I don't feel bad for Chris D'Elia. But he's trying. His comedic mind is like, all right, let's figure out how to get a laugh here. Right. Chris D'Elia or Schaub? Chris.

Oh, yeah. Are you not listening? No, I'm saying like who? Like who are you saying? His comedic mind is combating Brendan Schaub's like anti-comedy mind. You know, he'd be doing better if he was in Pueblo. He'd be doing better if he was faithful. Yeah, there's a lot of things he's been doing badly too.

You know, these kids, part two came out like a few Oh, there is something like that. Yeah, part two came out, but like eight months ago. He likes Shazam. Makes his little brother watch it. They know a lot about Shazam for guys that think it's gay. It's Shazam.

Yeah, I mean, that's a hard one. It's Shazam. You're going to see. Oh, it's Shazam. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a hard one. I'll give them that. I think, I mean, I don't even know the difference between the two, but I remember I watched Shazam on a plane. It was actually kind of good.

I was surprised. I liked it. Yeah, it was pretty good. Dude, if liking Shazam is gay, then call me gay. Then call me. What's that guy's name that works out too much? What's that? Richard Simmons, baby.

I'm fucking Richard. Oh, Richard Simmons. Yeah. I mean, if you're this is going to be so damaging to his son, if he turns out to be gay shots, you have to be like, listen, it was just a show. I just say I just go. Yeah, that's how he's going to explain to his gay

son. Is it true that in T-ball you pulled out a scoreboard and said, fuck this, these bitches are going to learn? I was there. You didn't do that. Shazam. Oh, Shazam. Shazam is with Shaquille O'Neal.

Shazam is the superhero. Most normal people are going to have this problem. He's trying to correct his own mistake, though. He's like, before anyone else does it, I want you to know I know. If you know the difference between Shazam and Shazam too well, that's weird.

You should only vaguely know these things. Oh, really? You don't know what the difference between Shazam and Shazam is? Shazam was made in the 90s. I don't know what the difference between Shazam and Shazam is. in the 90s. I don't know what the difference between Shazam and Kazam is. Good. Literally good. Yeah.

Actually, yeah. Kazam Shaq. I wish he was in a Kazam. The problem here is not that he's getting it wrong. The problem is that he's accusing his son of homosexuality for liking a movie geared towards kids. Oh, so you're exactly what a kid should be? Good.

All right. So this one's posted by Dodonkadonk. It's called Ron Perlman. Let's see this one. That's what's happened. Everything's become the preciousness of each thing having an individual value has been removed because they're just throwing shit out. Just throwing it, yeah. Throwing mud at a wall.

They're throwing shit out. Throwing mud at the wall. That is not a saying. Throw shit at the fan. No, it's like... Or shit hits the... What is it? It's like you throw shit at the wall

and see what sticks. I don't know what you throw at the wall, to be honest, but I know it's not mud. Yeah. Oh, well, you throw shit at the fan, right? Isn't that when the shit hits the fan,

but then some people out there throwing shit. I think I'm doing a podcast now with Brennan. How does shit get to the job in the room with us now? How does shit get to the fan? If somebody's not throwing it when shit hits the fan, I don't know where that saying comes from, but that's the saying throwing shit at the wall and see what sticks, right? Or is it mud?

Maybe he's trying to keep it PG. It's neither of those things, but I think it's throwing something. Maybe it is. I don't, you know, honestly, now I'm getting confused. You know what? This episode's not coming out. What is the hit the wall? What does hit the wall? Yeah, leave it in the comments. Part of this is realizing that some of this stuff is at least Redax like us are having trouble with. You know what I really don't like

about this clip though is that sunglasses on Ron perlman's head makes it look like he's been scalped i don't like that what's his name hugo stiglitz from oh yeah it looks like yeah it looks like hugo stiglitz visited ron perlman before this we need five more ron perlman scalps ron perlman's been uh scalped by hugo stiglitz good happening with movies you think totally it is huh totally a few moments later it says teases hellboy three is that real right when he's talking about how the death of cinema is like affecting everyone he's like hellboy three are you serious and he's calling his son gay for liking shazam it's like dude hellboy is way are you serious? And he's calling his son gay for liking Shazam. It's like,

dude, Hellboy is way gayer than Shazam. Well, I don't know if Hellboy is gay, but it's not good. No, in terms of gayer, I think Shazam is cooler than Hellboy. Gayer is a rating that you use. This is a shop show, dude. We have to. Gay doesn't

mean bad to me. Oh, no, me neither. Yeah. But gayer in the context that shop uses like oh how gay is hellboy I don't know it's been too long since I've seen it I'll be more concerned if my son's like put on hellboy 2 again I'll be like oh god I'll be like why

what do you like hellboy I'll tease anything you like give it to me. Give it to me. I'm like every cab driver in New York. I'm just trying to make a living. That's it. The smoothest man on earth, Ron Perlman, dude.

Yeah, he's navigating T-Fat K. Well, I wanted to look up something on my phone, my camera, what it is. What? There's something about those movies. Oh, well. All right, let's go to the next one. If you can think of it, let me know. Yeah.

Oh, actually. yeah, play it. This one's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called diddler mentioning meeting Eminem adds layers to Bapa's Eminem story. Are you I'm fearful that you're not going to pay attention. Right? Yeah, sorry. Let me so I'm looking at throw things at

the wall and see what sticks. What do you what is it? What is the saying? Throw things at the wall and see what sticks throw against the wall and see what sticks throwing shit at the? What is the saying? Throw things at the wall and see what sticks. Throw against the wall and see what sticks. Throwing shit at the wall? I think you might be right. I'm always right. Ready?

Pamela man with camp on the man. Napkins. I'll never forget meeting Eminem and then that's what he did to me. That was the first thing he did to me and it was so weird. I'll never forget him texting me to post this UFC thing, and I fucked up the text. Eminem texted you to do it? What did he say?

He did this bit how him and Dana had this fake beef to promote a fight, and then he reached out to me. And I was like, holy shit, no doubt. You got it, man. But I was in a rush trying to get to studio. And I put out the text, but I tagged the wrong UFC. It was like UFC whatever rush trying to get to studio yeah I put out the text but I tagged the wrong UFC it was like UFC whatever 190 something it was like 191 I put 192 yeah I was like there you go man he's like wrong fucking UFC number I was like my bad man on the DMS on the attacks oh you have his number yeah

Eminem's number yeah I do I don't I don't. And Eminem's on Twitter, social media. He's DMV. I had a thing with Eminem, right? So I know he's on social media. Because when they were doing that, they were trolling the UFC Dana White to hit me up. To blast it out. So I did it. Spoke to Eminem.

Insane. One of the craziest times in my life. Because I'm such an Eminem fan. Now watch this drive. Now watch this drive. He he's gonna whiff or something so papa's lying again yeah text to social media i see i see it's so hard for us to uh elaborate on his lies because they just always come. They just like

we could only have so many fucking, you know, different bits we could do on him lying. I want Eminem to speak out on this Marshall Mathers. If you watch confirmed homeless confirm homeless. Yeah, let us know. Do you text Brendan Schaub? Have you ever DM'd him?

That'd be trippy. Gerardo, you parents have a very nice marriage. Cooney's teeth. Is it the big gums or the small teeth? They start dissing me. Gerardo's fat and his face looks like pubes. Be cool, Eminem. All right, so this was posted by RyanJoseph82, one of our guys, B.

It's called Callan Brings Up Schaub's Small Hands and Peace to Ron Perlman. Let's see. There's no mystery. Even other actors, but you got a real No, no. Most actors, they come in and they're like, You got a real actor. You got a real New Yorker. I don't know if I'd go that far. You're grounded. You're grounded in a tradition.

I'm grounded, that's for sure. You want to wrap it, B? Go take a pee and we'll wrap it properly yeah those shoes Holden's pee it's a big boy right there yeah he pees more than I do

yeah he's got a small bladder he peed when I first got here and now he's peeing again big body I don't even have to pee that much big body small bladder

small cock that's what happens small dick too I don't have to say it but he's got small hands I'm not going to get into it poor guy bring out the measuring tape you want the measuring tape okay i don't i think i put it back over there i could i could whip my win out win out right now dude and fucking measure contest

with you if you want it's flaccid though so it'll be like at least a half inch damn you just go be a big feet and you know what that means and you know what that means, right? You know what that means. Big understanding. Big socks. Big socks. Very big socks. All that means. First hand, I can tell you that. That's right.

These guys are worth the board over here. These guys are, yeah. Can they be trusted? I've never seen them before. This is the first time. The first time. No, these are our... Chin has been with us from the beginning.

This is the salt of the earth over here. Are you kidding me? George was a fan. Ron Perlman has taken Kratom. Yeah, that's the effect of they gave him happy hippo Kratom and I was acting like this. He's going to kill Chin.

Chin's like stop looking at me like that, Ron. And he lost how much weight? I lost altogether 260 pounds. Holy shit. I was 451 pounds, and my lowest was 190. Listening to the podcast. Yep.

And this kid, we gave him an intern. That's what did it. And now he's just been indispensable. Indispensable. Damn. I get to live the dream, make funny little clips. That's a lot of work to to lose bro. Oh, yeah, it took like Two years, but just diet exercise six days a week. I had an MMA fight when I came to yes, I fought

Yeah, really? Mm-hmm. I didn't win but I had a fight Got choked one though. You won. You won the big war. Damn right. I won life. You won the big one. Sounds like being a hawk, not a duck. And if it means anything, when I come home from work, I play the Call of Duty zombies that you voice. That a boy. It means a lot. Why is this clip so long?

You already talked about the small hands and the small dick. I like the idea of the T-Fat K podcast having the same results as Ozempic. You lose a lot of weight. You just start shitting all the time. Oh, oh, oh, T-Fat K. You know. It means a lot. Anytime anybody tells me that they've seen something of mine

or they've watched something of mine. This is you talking about like Timo's fans. Oh yeah. I relate. Ron is speaking my language right now. Daddy. I'm not blowing smoke or, or, or being falsely humble or anything like that.

I don't, I just think of myself as a dude. It'd be funny. Like Ron, he's like, now the other day I was in pavilions and this guy doing me, Tony, he said that he played the video game with the zombies I was in. And I was like, Ron, he's like, no, the other day I was in pavilions and this guy doing me, Tony. He said that he played the video game with the zombies I was in.

And I was like, damn, thank you. I changed my life. Thank him. As a celebrity. Yeah. You know, and when I hear like, I spent a little time watching this thing. Oh, wow. That's coming more. You can't. I can't. I can't. I spent a little time watching this thing. I go, oh, wow. Call me more.

You can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. Absolutely, Ron. I'm the same way. No, you're not, Brian. Shut the fuck up, Brian.

Fucking shut up. He's like, when I see people in the wild talking like this, it really drives me up the wall. Shut the fuck up, Brian. Shut the fuck up, Brian. Ron Perlman is talking, Brian. Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up Brian LeBron Perlman is talking Brian shut the fuck up alright so this one's posted by Khabib time it's called watch this drive hits it right into the trees we already saw

this but let's just watch it again I will be there this Thursday Friday Saturday Spokane comedy club you better get there yeah watch this drive their shoes Omniclub. You better get there. Yeah. Watch this drive. Those shoes.

I didn't hear the tree the first time. That's so funny. Yes. Stupid idiot. All right, Brendan. This is the 17th take. Wherever it goes, just act like you hit it far. That's hilarious. Are you good at golfing? No, yeah,

thank him. I got clubs, but they're not used well. Oh, all right. So this one's called Brendan Mencia posted by Ryan Joseph eighty two. I think this is an old little reheat. I think it'd be fun to revisit. I love fajitas. They bring them out.

Everyone's like, oh my god. What the fuck is that? Are you in the Chili's in order of fajitas? I put those fajitas in the floor top. And I'm like, what the fuck am I? He eats my dick. I'm the first one. He's Kobayashi. You messed with my nut, Brennan.

Randy here is gonna eat your dick. Like Kobayashi. Been drinking Bud Light for fucking years, man. I don't see how it makes you gay. I don't see the problem with Bud Light, dude. I'm like, Bud Light, that dude's like, oh, you're going to drink Bud Light, turn gay, take it out of here.

Dude, he's a master. Bup, bup, bup, bup, beast of a comic, dude. It's a master, but but but but beast of a comic dude. It's not his fault. He does everyone's bits better than they do. All right. This is the one I was looking forward to the most. Have you heard this one yet? No, this one's posted by down vote the

E and there's this is an animation one with more likes than the actual T fat capo. So I chose this one. It's called Boppa tells a true story about the laugh factory and a group of biker gangs to Ron Perlman. And it's a painted narrative. Yes. Let's see. Yeah. I was, I was doing a spot, the laugh act. And I see, I'd read all the books on biker gangs. I know my biker gangs and I see this group of biker gangs in the back.

I'm at the laugh factory. Yeah. A good amount of them. I see them in their patches. I won't say what gang it is, but I recognize the logo. Like, oh shit,

man, bike gangs. It's like, yeah, oh shit. You know, see, you know that like the,

um, the, this is the end movie. Uh, Danny McBride, he goes, he goes, uh,

you're saying James Frank, or now I know you're lying. James frank wouldn't suck dick last night or he's like i read bullshit or whatever that's how you know shab is lying when he's like i was i read all the books oh there's no way not a chance job is reading more than one book if a book at all yeah no chance i've staged i'm waiting for my car outside they come out they follow me out and i'm like oh when i was a ufc fighter i was supposed to do this appearance in um colorado springs and my manager calls me goes you can't go like what do you mean i can't go it was a paid gig and i have a lot of money back then i'm like what do you mean i can't go there there's a there's a biker gang meeting a hell's angel meeting and one of their enforcers put a bounty on you he wants he

says he can beat you up like what he can fight you yeah he wants to fight me i'm like i don't want to be part of that he's like it's the the sheriff called a city can't go it's not worth the risk so i'm like all right whatever so i thought maybe there's when i walk out on the street of sunset of i'm like oh hopefully they're not trying to fight me they're all out there and they're fans and my first question i said i go hey man i'm not even trying to fight me. They're all out there and they're fans. And my first question I said, I go, hey, man, I'm not even trying to overstep here. I go, but I love Sons of Air. He sounds like me trying to do the Danny McBride.

Anarchy. I was like, how realistic was that? He's like, pretty spot on, man. Well, yeah, he goes, pretty spot on, man. This is a worthless, pointless story that's not true it's so funny only because ron perlman's in the studio what do you think can you make up a story right now uh yeah so um the other day dude i was like i was at the covina laugh factory you have to say that five times by the way i was headlining there and my manager called me and he was like, where

are you? And I was like, I'm at the Covina Laugh Factory. He's like, you can't be there, dude. And I was like, why? And he was like, well, the other day and before he could finish his thing, a moose broke into the Covina Laugh Factory and

kicked my best friend. In the dick? No, no. Colin Farrell in the dick. And daddy. I botched it. I don't have any story.

That's as far as I can go. Did his brain turn off? My brain turned off halfway through. I couldn't lie. I tried to lie, but I couldn't do it. Well, thank you guys for tuning in. Thanks. We'll never do a Beach Boy song again. We'll never do a story at the end again. Bye later.