10 Minutes of Schaub - Brine has NEW FOUND CONFIDENCE with Bapa | 10 Minutes of Schaub #44

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

Forty-Fourth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Inside the walls of marriage my body may be, but my dick juice has set my soul free. Now there's a great big bottle here in my home, a bottle of dick juice in this den of kin. You wouldn't think that wife would let me here in my home But I hide a lot of stuff from Mexican Now this great big bottle here in my home Is what Joe Rogan drinks when he's slinging dick Takes a lot of skill to hide it here in my home. But for secrets in the house of shop, there's quite a lot. Inside the walls of marriage, my body

may be, but my dick juice has set my soul free One take It's time for my favorite time of the week When you get to hear Papa try to speak Release surprises today You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shob Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shob Thanks for tuning back in Join the Discord Join the Patreon Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shob. Thanks for tuning back in.

Join the Discord. Join the Patreon. And everything is on Spotify now. But that's not why you're here. The reason you're here is to watch the clip. So start the timer now. Boom. Boom.

All righty. The first clip is from Mr. RyanJoseph82. Oh, nice. It's called Callan and his new Crowder confidence, which is autophagy or all these buzzwords. Yeah. Autophagy fucking people who intermittent fast. They have shown that they tend to spontaneously eat less,

which is autophagy or all these buzzwords. Yeah. Autophagy fucking he slapped it in the face. Yeah. That's weird. I don't know what autophagy is. Do you know what autophagy is? Do you know what autophagy is? God, no. Do you think Schaub does?

No. Because he like, Callan hits him like, oh, that's our word. He just hits him in the head. It's the word of the week for them? I guess so. Why would he just hit him like that? It's his new confidence from Crowder, baby. Oh, I see.

I see. Maybe it's that Bapa is kind of like dozing off or something like that and Callan feels a need to like kind of shake him yeah you know like a dog I couldn't find the other clip of him like slapping the shit out of Bapa at the end of the episode oh did you see that I saw the thing where it was like

edited and it kept like poking him and like pushing his face and all that is that what you're talking about that's the end of the episode where they were starting to plug dates and then uh callan was like i might not be at this date fuck it i don't care he's got this new confidence about him dude so because he's on a new show with crowder he feels like he can just hit papa now he's like all right i'm gonna here's the i'm staying i'm staying on the fighter and the kid but because i'm gonna stay and you and still be here for this sinking ship,

I'm going to get to hit you a few times. I'm going to make you work. What does Callan say? He's like, I'm going to get you busy. I'm going to keep you busy. And that to him just means like punching him. But it could also be the homeless narrative. You know what I mean?

They're always painting a narrative on Chang's B. That's right. That's right. You know, you never know. It might've just been a good week for Callan, dude. Maybe that's just what they do. That's their friendship is that they poke each other. I mean, they all,

Shab is always like poking and pushing D'Leo. I remember we'd watch that clip. He's like, stop hitting me, bro. Oh, really, dude? Yeah. I'm not telling, bro. They got to hit each other seven times a week. All right. Stop hitting me, bro. Oh, really, dude? Yeah. I'm not killing, bro. They got to hit each other seven times a week.

All right. So this next one posted by X Warsama. It's called, you never know who could be picking up a shift at the friars. Maybe a cat or a homeless guy or even a president. Thank him, B. You seen this one yet? No. I'm intrigued. Watch this.

Honestly, the secretary of Agriculture, Adam Putnam. Good man, but I never met him. I didn't know him. Amazing. Amazing. That's a shot from the former President of the United States at Papa. Wow. Not my president, dude.

Dick D. That's the guy who built the ground we walk on you know yeah right there what do we do how can you do trump as papa it's a great water yeah doing here what are we doing here papa balls deep in fish look a lot of people say that their balls deep in fish i've heard my opponent joe biden crazy joe say his balls deep in fish. I've heard my opponent, Joe Biden, Crazy Joe, say his ball's deep in fish. But the truth is, when you talk about it, when you talk to him about it, he doesn't know too much about fish.

Does he? Does he know too much? Democrats, they want to talk about collusion. What are we doing here? What are we doing here, Papa? We tried. Russia, great people, never met them. Alright, so this is Stormy Daniels, great chick, never met her. We tried. Russia, great people. Never met them. All right. Stormy Daniels, great chick. Never met her.

Batty. She's a batty, isn't she? If you looked at my phone, there'd be all types of batties. I'm like combining Daniel or Papa Plainview and Trump. All right. So this one's called The Fighter. Not known for being funny. Riffs about flights better than an ex-fighter who's a seven-year veteran.

Call Mick. Posted by Verve 785 um but the financial part i thought i finally made it i'm in the wc i'm signed i'm going to las vegas to fight oh i bet you know show up yeah take that l home with you yeah did they give you a special box to put the l in nah man you Oh, come on, bro. Then they charged me on the plane to bring it back. It was Spirit. I flew Spirit. Dog. Dude, I'm no joke. I saw two dogs fight each other on a Spirit Airlines flight, bro. About four months ago, I was flying someone on Spirit

and I knew they were beefing in the line at check-in. I never flew Spirit, dude. It's basically like playing a video game. It costs about the same amount. It's like the city bus of the air. It really is, dog. One guy got off. One guy halfway through the flight just got game. It's kind of like the city bus of the air. It really is. One guy got off. One guy halfway through the flight just got off. It was his style.

So that blew my mind. But two people had dogs, bro. And finally they let him go, bro. Yeah, dude, he's killing it. Him and Theo should start a podcast. The fighter and Theo, you know what I mean? The rat and the sting and the king or whatever it is they should just do king and sting yeah just like redo it all over again

I don't know that could be dicey dicey we've seen that happen we've seen that narrative play out B but yeah so far pretty good right yeah let's see what happens with Bapa here and they finished it up dude the pilot comes on and starts the betting odds yeah dude one of them is fighting Henry Cejudo soon I think actually yeah triple c it was uh it was that it was definitely it must have been

on some on some sort of card you know what i'm saying give me some intel sometimes i like to think when i yell i'm playing people think i'm the marshal you know there's a marshall on the flight like come on that my tattoos are i'm like oh they probably think i'm the marshal no no dude maybe the Marshall Mello you're the fucking Marshall you don't think so? like if shit goes down they're like oh that guy gots this you know there's a real Marshall somewhere

you dress like a thick girl going to Coachella dude there's no way anybody thinks you the Marshall they think I'm dressing like that like to fit it. No chance. Sometimes I feel like Bapa just needs to breathe. Just breathe it out, baby, and then say whatever comes next.

I know. He just goes. That's what makes these great clips where Theo's making fun of him. If it was just him and who was the fighter that was on? He looked familiar. That was Dustin Poirier, right? I don't know. He looks familiar. He had some solid riffs there. They had good chemistry.

He's just being himself. Whereas when Bop is himself, you just get lies and Asian impersonations and real trash. I'm a comic, B. If I said I was a fighter, you. Yeah. I'm a comic bee. If I said I was a fighter, you would agree.

I can lose many times. I can lose to Roy, whatever his name is. I can lose to all these other people. Get knocked in the head. Alright, so this next one's called Holy Catnip posted by Sarlacc Survivor. Friends with me. Imagine if one of our friends was accused of

sexual misconduct in the press and we went on air and said, black survivor friends with me imagine if one of my one of our friends was accused of sexual misconduct in the press and we went on air and said oh i haven't talked to him yet because i was too busy getting eye surgery done but if he did this it was terrible instead of just going uh yeah that's my friend fuck off yeah we'll say nothing we're saying nothing right just in case he did do that yeah yeah yeah put your foot in your mouth. Some of us are pieces of shit. But, yeah. It's funny to watch these two when the guy's like, imagine one of our friends got accused of sexual misconduct,

as if that's not, like, it's very easy to imagine. There should have been a laugh track after that. Like, imagine one of our friends got accused of, because all of them do. But, yeah, I guess that's a good point. I mean, I guess Callan, he's getting angry at Callan because Callan didn't stand up for D'Elia. If he thinks he's innocent, you should stand up, I guess.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't really want to be in those waters. No, what are we doing here? That has nothing to do with me. They're problems. They need to solve them themselves You know Don't bring it onto T-Most

Okay Ari Shafir and Bobby Kelly Great guys, never met them Very funny but That's their narrative A lot of cats were eating that catnip this week Just going to tell you that right there It's a funny clip, it's interesting to know people are i like it when people are mad at each other

like these comedians infighting is interesting yeah like oh shafir doesn't like baba oh wow what and kelly's what i guess yeah is bobby kelly certified homeless now i don't know confirmed homeless bobby kelly yeah all right so this one's called Crowder's My Guy, posted by NoCauliflower4577. Uh-oh. I know. I'm doing Crowder. Louder with Crowder. I love Crowder.

I just talked to Crowder. Yeah, great guy. He's my guy. Yeah, he's my guy. I think Matt Mitrione was the one who actually played the most in the NFL. I didn't know the shot one. He wasn't very good. No.

He wasn't very good. Much like his podcast hosting ability. Man. Ouch. Worst stand-up special I've ever seen in my life. You did a stand-up special? Yeah.

I didn't know that in case it wasn't for work. Yeah. Or is it at Netflix? They probably funded it. It's on Showtime. Showtime? Yeah, it's on Showtime.

Just look for the cover with the full-grown man dressed like Justin Bieber. Whoa. Damn. Great. It's on Showtime. Showtime? Yeah, it's on Showtime. Just look for the cover with the full-grown man dressed like Justin Bieber. Whoa. Damn creep. Boom, boom, boom, boom. What if he just started doing T-Mose riffs? He's like, he sucks seven times a week.

Oh, really, dude? Crowder, yeah. Crowder does not feel the same way. No. Papa just hears names and he's like, oh, that sounds like a good name. I'm with, I'm friends. We're good. Crowder's my guy.

My Crowder. Crowder doesn't like papa yeah do you think any of his uh team will show him like crowder's not your guy b no right because he doesn't that's another problem is he lets in no yeah criticism of any kind so if his team is like hey by the way that guy you said was your guy said that you're bullshit yeah he would be like you're fired don't tell me that he just posts and goes he doesn't read the comments nope doesn't listen to the comments apparently this one's posted by ol barney it's called brian playing the hits right out the gate brian callen how are you sir i'm i'm just a man just a man happy to be here. Encourage and support the women of Afghanistan. Look how happy he is, dude. Yeah, he looks pretty happy there. He's like, he's free of the T-Fat K-Sue. He doesn't have to sit in that stupid chair in a weird position next

to Bop anymore. Yep. Join himself and playing all those old hits. Afghanistan and everything. They're not sending their best, you know, as Trump would say. They're not to the right wing grifts. They're not sending their best. You get old Callan pronouncing

Afghanistan correctly. Yikes. The best that T-Fat K has to offer, dude. Although I'm sure it makes his show better. What? Callan being on this Crowder show, which I've never watched. Bad bad show never seen it i'm sure that cal will make it just a little more interesting because it can't get worse yeah i think they're starting a new uh network of podcasts oh yeah the mug club they like drinking

coffee b do you mind that i've shut the door on our right wing griff jen by talking shit about patrick crowder is Is it Patrick Crowder? I don't know his... Oh, Steve Crowder. Steve Crowder. Steve Crowder. See, I didn't even know his name. He was old, man. I don't care. I'm not trying to right wing grift. Not at the age of 32, baby. It's a 45.

It's an older man's game. I'm going to become a right wing grifter. I'm going to go to a podcast with a guy in his 50s who wears tight shirts. If I told you I was too old to grift, would you believe me? If I told you during CRT, the

children of color were allowed to hide first in school shooter drills, what would you say? Dicey dicey. Alright, so this one's called Hey Mark Norman, Ya Blockbuster, posted by Mag Ziffy. That could be dicey dicey uh all right so this one's called mark norm hey mark norman you block bussa posted by mag ziffy that could be the first test all right brennan shot this is a comedy show ma'am

all right boom roasted no he's a sweet guy actually He's a very nice guy. He's nice. That's, yeah, that's like exactly what you'd say if you're a comedian and you have to be in a room with him at some point. Nice guy. That's his go-to line, apparently. Like, people will post in chains that they went to a Mark Norman show and somebody's like, what do you think about Brendan Chobb? And he always says, like, this is a comedy show. Yeah, it's pretty funny.

He's got, Chobb is so bad that another comedian has a stock line about him that does really well. Imagine there's like a, some other comedian has a stock line about you that just crushes everywhere. This is a comedy show. He's a piece of shit. What do you think about Gerard Olicon?

Pubes? That's all he's saying? John Belushi. Yeah. Do you think Schaub, if he ever meets Norman again, will be angry or he won't know? I don't know. I think, I don't know.

There's no way to know what Bapa's going to do in any situation. Schaub has to pretend, and if he knows about these things, every time he meets somebody, he has to pretend that they haven knows about these things every time he meets somebody he has to pretend that they haven't called him an idiot yeah like probably 60 percent of the people that know or more i'm just making i'm just throwing out a number i'm a numbers guy but the people that know shab think he's a moron many have said that he's a moron on youtube all the comedians so when shab sees them out in the club, he's gotta be like, either be like,

Hey man, you fucking hurt my feelings or like, fuck you. Or just be like, Hey, what's up, man? Good to see you again. Even though you said my special is terrible and I'm not funny.

Cheers. Be, um, if you want my true opinion on it, I don't think shop knows any of it. I think that if he did know it, then he would just be silent around that person. Maybe.

Unless there was a toe connection, you know, then he'd be like, gotta, gotta do, gotta do the toe grift. You know what I mean? Which is weird.

Cause he went right after Bobby Lee kind of picked, picked on Bobby Lee for no reason, really. Yeah. You know, there wasn't any evidence or tiger belly stuff, but he went right after Bobby Lee, even though there's all these people that are legitimately making fun of him

to his face and online and YouTube videos, but you don't, you never hear him talk about like, what is it? A legion of skanks at all. Yeah. I think they had him on, they had a J Oakerson on,

right? Oh, I saw a picture. Yeah. I saw a picture of him, but I don't know. I don't know how Bapa's brain works. That's coming out next week.

I think. Oh, dicey, dicey, dicey, dicey. All right. So this't know how Papa's brain works. That's coming out next week, I think. Dicey, dicey. Dicey, dicey. All right, so this one's posted by Toronto Rapture. It's called, Brendan gets frustrated with Callum because he doesn't understand what the thug he's trying to say.

What a monster. Two-time Hodge trophy. So, you know, I always say Bo Nichols won the Heisman. Yeah. This guy won it twice. Bo Nichols won the Heisman. He did not win the Heisman. No, no, Bo Nichols didn't win the Heisman.

Bo Nichols won. No, well, the Hodge trophy is the Heisman. He did not win the Heisman. No, no, Bo Nickel didn't win the Heisman. Bo Nickel won. No, well, the Hodge trophy is the Heisman, right? What? The Heisman? Well, because the best football players award the Heisman. The best wrestler in the nation award the Hodge.

So the Hodge is their version of the Heisman. Right. So I would say Bo won the Heisman. You know, it's just... And this guy won it twice. This guy won it twice. Twice. Three-time national champion.

You just see these guys. I can relate to that. I lose my train of thought on the show just when we're talking, but this is because he's like, it's a podcast, and in addition to that, he has to translate Bapa's nonsense. Bapa just said a UFC fighter won the heisman twice and then he tried to save it by being like no no no like it's like apples and oranges but he doesn't know that saying and he's like it's like you know in football when the uh the heisman is is wrestling and wait wait wait no no no the uh hodge or whatever and

then brian's like man i cannot wait to get on that plane to go to the patrick crowder state why do you keep saying patrick crowder whatever his freaking name yeah i'm basically boppa now as usual as usual it's a sign of disrespect uh boppa should never be telling anyone to keep up he i know he didn't verbally say keep up but he was like it's basically the Heisman. Keep up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Bob is going too fast for Cal at this point. Yeah.

All right. So this next one's posted by podcast enthusiast 420, possibly a stoner right there. It's called Danny Brown shouting out the homeless community. I read the comments. That's all I'm going to let y'all know. I'm not, I'm not these other, I'm not saying that you guys aren't haters, B. You know what I'm saying? Nice.

I love seeing people use the lingo. Yeah. I mean, that's what, my favorite thing about Chang's is the lingo. Yeah.

Danny Brown, certified homeless. Not somebody who's going to post a ghost. Maybe we should try and get him, if he reads the comments, maybe come on Timo's.

Let's comment on. Oh man. I wrote on the Gringo Papa you saw that I wrote, if you're Mr. Whole Foods, maybe come on Timo's. Let's comment out. Oh, man. I wrote on the Gringo pop that you saw that I wrote, if you're Mr. Whole Foods, I'll pay you $150 to come on Timo's. So that offer is out there. That offer is for anyone that was eating nachos at the show. Yeah, I guess you don't have to really be the nacho guy, but if you had nachos at that show, please come out.

That would be amazing. Also, too, if you want to be Mr. Whole Foods, just let us know. If you want to pretend to be Mr. Whole whole foods that's on the table too oh man okay so this one's posted by genghis can't it's quite long but i watched it earlier this week and i thought it was uh redacted yet funny interesting it's called real quick we discuss the baddies here b i have a friend she's like i don't say the madame but she was a stripper when i first met came to la she's one of the first friends i met and she was talking about all these celebrities they'd have like poker parties or whatever and it'd be private and she had these baddie strippers like 12 of them she's like they pay for the

services but it was just so interesting to see how disciplined, how good he was at a totally different genre. Just smart. Fucking smart. His wife was such a baddie. Oh, my God, Coco. The hottest. The hottest thing in the world. When she was younger, she was so impossibly hot. Yeah.

They had their show on VH1 or E. Yeah, she was such a baddie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Yeah, she's a baddie yeah yeah yeah i mean yeah she's a baddie pause it for a second check out this little it's just so it's so awful man you know him saying baddie that much i wouldn't want to do that because i would think about he has a family you know he has kids and a wife and all that i don't have that i still wouldn't want me on like people i know friends has kids and a wife and all that i don't have that i still wouldn't want me on like people i know friends watching me being like oh look at that baddie

right there yeah yeah yeah you should know stripper dude like so many baddies that real bad i'd be like you gotta hold some of it in yeah papa doesn't have that though. No, Papa, you know, he just goes. And it's typically towards baddies and addies, dude. 100. Yeah, this is a very long clip, but we have to watch the whole thing because there's a lot of baddie talk. Let's do this. Baddie talk. As we know, the baddies

text dropped this week. Right, right. Baddie are here. It's the first ever. Oh, chin, you too. Down syndrome, Victoria Stewart. Oh, hell yeah, yeah. Diversity. Hell yeah. It's like a ever Down Syndrome, Victoria's Secret. Oh, hell yeah. It's like a zombie movie. The joke is such a funny one. Where when someone starts saying baddies, you're like, oh no, fuck, they got him too. Any joke about this?

Two grown men. I don't know if it would be Mariah's voice. That is pretty much it. Dude, she's a baddie. I heard she's a nightmare to deal with. You know, badass. Oh, here's a She's a baddie Heard she's a nightmare To deal with You know a badass Oh here's a girl Sweet tattoo on your tits

Well you may not Want to have his face On your body either But she's very sexy You gotta figure They're gonna go after her Right Okay

She's a baddie though Sure Disappointing with those Tattoos You don't see her Man she's filming You think the kids Are in the house When he's filming That bullshit She's a baddie though Sure Disappointing with those tattoos You don't see her man she's filming this video You think the kids are in the house when he's filming that bullshit Beyonce video Surfboard They were at school

And where's the wifey at Damn Oh dude you ain't triple x not pulling a hottie Man she's so bad She is a baddie It's like a reflex for him, dude. It's like a knee jerk, just baddie. Yeah, it's sad that such great comedians are, you know,

their one weakness is baddies. These women are destroying the chance at great art, you know, because they're ruining the reputation of people like Brendan Chobb. And this tongue is out. He's licking his lips over a picture of Vin Diesel's wife. Dark. Vin Diesel is going to be certified homeless after this clip. Vin Diesel?

What did I say? Vin Diesel? You know, it is what it is, B. Damn. What? So yeah, it's basically. Shortiest tits, bro. It's a video of her kind of like taking off her shirt

and showing her boobs in a bikini top. Basically saying that if... Like she always gets judged for her body regardless of whether she shows it or not. Well, good for her. She's a baddie. I'm not mad at her. Is it her video on top?

I'm sure that the girls don't like that guy at all either. I'm not mad at her. I'm sure that girls don't like that guy at all either. I'm sure he doesn't get... I'm sure that... This makes it seem like half the show is this. Just them staring at women. Their interns are like, here's a picture of someone's

girlfriend. Oh, she's batting. Brian's like, what's the context? Well, she was kidnapped and then they just found her. Oh, well, I'm glad she's batty brian's like what's the context and they well she was uh kidnapped and then they just found her oh well i'm glad she's okay batty she's kind of hot yeah not mad at that picture though chin's like i was scrolling earlier and i thought boner alert got a buddy that'd be so great all either she's a baddie he's a good looking dude oh there it is

some would say he has an overbite though yeah let's say when I see the how society acts to acts to Corona how they react to Corona about 99.9

99.9 but Brian Callen oh damn she's a baddie what percentage of the world do you think that you I'll give you that after licking that tape after doing the playback

I mean look at that oh my goody cry okay I'm on board I'm with either go ahead Kat this one? show them another picture of hot chicks a video was posted with G-Eazy I'm with either. Go ahead, Kat. This one? Sure.

Show them another picture of hot chicks. So yesterday a video was posted with G-Eazy kissing up on Meg the Stallion, and everyone is super upset. Why? Because he's white? Because I think, I don't know if it's because he's white, but also his girlfriend. Fuck them other, fuck the Shakira and J-Lo. If you look at Meg the Stallion.

You like that. That's what you like. You into that. Makes me mad. She's so fine, bro. Really? Oh, my God. You're into that big time.

Where's she from? Is she Bronx? Houston. Texas. That's wifey, son. Really? Yeah. You're really into it

Oh, I love it Interesting Yeah, I love it Jeezy begins some hoes, though How about that Hulzy diss, though? Oh, shit Who's this? What's this?

I don't know Oh, I think that's Oh, Jeezy He's in the suite Oh, he's grabbing her ass, too Oh, he's busting nuts Good for Jeezy, dude I mean, that's a great move

Even Hulzy can't hold you down, you know Great move Hulzy's a piece of shit I don't know what Halsey is she makes dope beats she makes the music the reason I was staying silent is because I wanted him

to say baddie really bad yeah I was like this guy's a comedic genius at this point he's almost gonna say baddie every time and then he doesn't do it

and then at the very end he's gonna say baddie and it's gonna be really good yeah I think I may have ruined it by doing that, but let's see. Like, what is she? She's a really good singer. I think she's bisexual.

Super sexy. Everyone's bisexual now, right? That's just what you do if you're a girl and you're famous? Is there anybody that's just 100% straight that's a girl? Do they feel like they could be comfortable being straight? Or is that right? You won't get any headlines if you're just straight. Man, dude.

But I celebrate Halsey and whatever she wants to do, you know? Yeah, I mean, she's cool, I guess. I don't know. Is the music good? Yeah, she makes some good tunes. I like her new album. It's pretty sweet. She's super depressing, though.

Do you like your cat? Every now and then, I guess. That's a no. That's a no. That's a no. Who do you like more, her or the Chinese? What? I'm going to go with Halsey. It took you a second.

Okay. She's a baddie, though. What else do you have to say? Yeah. Yeah, good comeback. That's a way to save the pod there. That weird Waluigi anti-Chinese thing. Yeah.

Yeah, and Boppa brought it back. That's why you got to have a little bit of Boppa in the clip. Yep. You know, he is comedically funny, even though it's not on purpose. It's still good stuff. Batty. Hilarious. Yeah.

All right. More baddies. Chinese alert. Baddies. Boner alert. This news anchor who, for some reason, she was found naked in her car on her own in like a regular cul-de-sac or something like that. She's a baddie. She's a baddie, yeah.

She's a baddie. This chick. Oh, damn. Yeah. She's so hot. And this is her Instagram. And did she get in trouble? Oh, she's hot.

She didn't get in trouble. She just actually went on the news and said something happened. I'll take responsibility for my actions. She's in Vegas, right? I think so, yeah. Well, she's... She's smoking hot, yeah. I mean, what is her nationality?

It said Eastern African. Painfully hot. Oh, she's probably... She's East African. East African, meaning Ethiopian, Eritrean, Somali. Oh, my God. Oh, she's in... Jesus Christ.

Yeah, that's a big problem. She could be from Zanz Somali. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. That's a big problem. She could be from Zanzibar. Zanzibar. It's in Ottoman of Tanzania. I think she's from heaven. What famous singer was from Zanzibar? A riff that doesn't work. Hold on.

Do you know? Yeah, I know. The lead singer, Queen. That's right. Freddie Mercury. Thank you. Oh, wow. Thank you for that.

I didn't know that. Yes. She's scrolling through this poor woman's Instagram. And did she get arrested for being naked? Why was she naked? You know what I say when she takes her shirt off

and I'm about to make love to her? I go, your breasts are impossible. Now check this out. She's doing this terrible stand-up. They did arrest her, but it's like reckless driving because she wouldn't do

a sobriety test. So you can refuse to do the test. Well, leave her alone. God, man. I mean, if you're a cop Go enjoy the rest of your night dude You got a gift you asked me Huh?

They look real Yeah real fake but I don't care Man that's incredible All nanny? Congratulations And hey you little drifters on YouTube Guess what I didn't take one sip I'm redacted.

I'm redacted. It would be funny if they did that with horrible events in the news, like tragedies, and they're going over what they think. Oh, it's so terrible. I bet the families, it's just, I just want to say to the families, I hope you're okay. Thoughts and prayers. Oh, well, look at that one picture.

Oh, that's a baddie. She's hot. Yeah. Let's pull up her Instagram. Let's pull up the Instagram of that tornado victim. Ooh, look at that one picture. Oh, that's a baddie. She's hot. Yeah. Let's pull up her Instagram. Let's pull up the Instagram of that tornado victim. Ooh, look at her. You know, I would say when like the tornado was about to hit, I'd be like, I don't care.

Your boobs are impossible. Impossible. Pray for Nashville. She was a baddie. My thoughts and prayers go to my boner. Boner alert. Yeah, dude. The cops arrested her because she killed her husband,

but she can kill this dick. Dick juice. Mark, I need dick juice. Addies, baddies, dick juice, Mark. Addies, baddies, dick juice. Yeah, somebody's got to make a fucking, like, what are those, like, football chant songs? Like, college football, they're just like, addies.

That, or like some, yeah, some sort of song. Yeah. Somebody already did that. Oh. All right, so this one's- We don oh uh all right so we don't matter b we don't matter this one's called the got respect for anyone who does this so no hate on this post i just doubt it's from tours as he says also we get a small indirect shout out it's uh posted by cappy wome's up, guys? Today is one on the old bucket list. Not too many people know this, but for the last five years,

your boy has been saving every single dime from all my touring on the road for one reason, one reason only. It's a big goal for anybody. Whatever you're doing, whether you're in entertainment, podcasting, YouTuber, regular gig, whatever it is, your goal always is to buy your parents a house. My kids are going crazy right now. My kids are going absolutely crazy.

The goal is always to buy your parents a house. Well, today, all that hard work, all those tour dates, all that stuff, it's come to fruition. I'm buying my mother-in-law a house. She's the best grandma in the world. She has no idea this is happening. She's going to pull up the house. I'm no idea this is happening. She's gonna pull up the house I'm gonna give her the keys so Keto bitch!

I'm gonna make this possible by every single ticket to all those crazy cities I was in to the haters too. You motivate me more than you know, but I love you guys What's up guys today? He starts jingling his keys What if he was like he had a bag of Cheetos. He was like, doing this. Cheetos. Mama.

Hi, guys. What's going on? Hey. Hi, Michael. She doesn't, though. She doesn't, though. Mama. This is your house.

That's why you guys are filming? I love you so much. She doesn't have to. She's good for being the best grandma. Stretchers, Mama. Go ahead. let's skip to being the best grandma is that yours mama go ahead do you think they told her like okay so the special came out we're gonna do this video

you gotta Mexican it up a bit you can't be yourself in this clip I'll get too much hate. But I bought you a house. So do as I say. Was that actually how she acts? I don't know. I don't know these people. I mean, obviously you don't know. I'm asking to guess, sir.

Are you rhetorically asking me? I don't know. It just seems like... If I told you I knew these people, would you like me? Obviously no person is like the character that Boppa paints in the Gringo Poppy. Yeah. But she wasn't necessarily what, when we had the interview with Mark, she wasn't really that either in the clip. Yeah. So it's hard to, hard to know what's going on. What's what. Yep. I mean, I don't know if when they hugged each other, she whispered in

her ear or his ear. Um, I know you're redacted. She goes in the house and like, I'm surprised there's no bits, you know, there are no gringo poppy bits. Yeah. Where are the flaming Cheeto? Mentioning that, where is like the,

I got, and I got you some taquitos. I don't know. Imagine she opens the door, the front door, and there's a stool in the mic stand. And he's like, you got to watch 10 minutes of my standup.

She leaves. There's nothing funny in that video most comedians they even if they were to do something super nice like this emotional buying something for your mom or your uh your mother-in-law you'd think you'd have like some joke in there right also I would not share this this is yeah it's kind, Hey, look, you thought I was a bad guy because all the bad stuff I do, but I bought my wife's mom a house because I may or may not have cheated on her and sent all these text messages asking for baddies. My guy, I also fired and didn't pay. So I didn't pay him.

And a bunch of people have quit or actually I fired them and I said that they quit on me. Yeah. I did that too. So, but this video that I'm showing to you, it's quit on me. Yeah. I did that too. So, but this video that I'm showing to you, it's purely to make you think I'm a good guy. I'm doing that. I did that. So like me, I may owe Mark $15,000, which happens to be the down payment on this home.

I don't care what people think. I don't read the comments and i made this video so people think i'm cool yeah i'm redicted i'm redicted all right so well can't tell the next one is called bopper reads a mean comment posted by the homie highlight highlight numerous here we go how nice yeah the man there he is look at that right oh that's made a nice meal happy 40th my brother brennan shop 12 years ago i met this man and we've seen each other twice a week ever since tough as nails creative but most importantly generous few do so much for so many anonymously he's also into fashion apparently he thinks this peruvian poncho suits him that's a dope ass off-white look at us look at us that's great at John Anik. How about this dumb

ass? Good looking guy. Look at this dumb ass. Still pretending to be friends? Yeah, whatever, dude. Dude, how about that picture wearing suits? Ticy, ticy. I don't think the poncho is that bad.

The poncho, let's look at it. It's not that bad. I mean, it looks comfortable of the stuff that Papa wears. I wouldn't make fun of him for this poncho thing. Yeah. Um, as far as like their friendship,

you don't, you generally, you don't have to be like, we're best friends. You know, people just know. I think that's a bit dicey dicey. Yeah.

Kind of like the beginning of the end he's like uh oh yeah i don't read comments because i look stupid as fuck when i do i want them to like uh when callan leaves do the hot chip thing again have nick be like you guys want to eat a hot chip and callan's like i don't want that yeah that'd be a good that'd be a good callback i wonder if they'll do that yeah Yeah. That's what I want from Shanks. I want Colin to make a homophobic joke. Why? Because they always do that?

Yeah, they always act like they're gay. That's true. Yeah. That's something, if the podcast stopped, where would we see people pretend to be gay or whatever? Yeah. This is the best. If Nick was like, you guys want a hot chip?

And then Colin's like, I want a hot dick. You know? That would be great. Yeah. It's going to be a great riff. All right. So this one's posted by NationalMessage6048. It's called the Boppa Classic.

No, this one's going to be really fun. Pays great. The kid's amazing. Oh, no, no, no. I've talked to a handful of people. I mean, the last two I've done have been, yeah, like shit shows. Have they? In a, you know, I don't know, a fun way,

but just not... Have you done corporate gigs, Avi? I did one last night. Oh, that's where you were talking. But you've got to embrace the diciness of it. They call you a surprise. They don't know you're here. And you may want to mention the vice president of the company's golf

game. Yeah. Talk about how Mark can't keep it in his pants. Right. Mark is so many affairs. Mark. Mark, you can't keep it in your pants. And they're all like, what the fuck? No, no, no.

What the fuck are you doing? It's the boss. Yeah, it's the boss. You have no idea. It's the boss. He goes, fuck you. Get off the stage. You got the wild card?

Yeah, I'll give you a deal. Fuck off. You're like, can I do this? Talk about the vice president. I caught him watching kiddie porn one time. I feel like that's over the line. Oh my God. That makes me want to watch him do a corporate gig

so badly. I've never wanted to see anything more in my life. Bapa, that was what I was thinking about it the whole time. Like, how would Bapa do this? That's exactly what he'd do. Go way too far. Oh, well, he's insinuating that the people would tell him to talk about kiddie porn. That doesn't even make any sense.

No, I know. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. No. But if he saw Bapa would do shit like that, he'd be like, yeah. So the vice president is here, right? And he's over at that table being gay. He's, you know, there are a lot of people who got laid off this year

kind of almost as many as uh died of covid from the vaccine what he would do was is make advances towards somebody that is of the male persuasion and appealing to papa's eyes because that's what he always does right this guy's got me a boner right here dude i got a boner because of this guy i'm trying to do this routine but i can't this guy over here he's pointing at one of the waiters yeah the server people that doesn't even work there he's really hot right what are you like the vp of sales yeah i'm clearly the waiter he has like a tray of food in his hands all right well you're clearly giving me a boner. Boner alert. Boner alert. What do you got there? What is it?

Carnage. And it's like a little sandwich. It's a shrimp. She starts calling all your coworkers baddies. Are there any baddies? There's some baddies here. You guys like baddies? You guys ever been to the zoo? He loves to talk about animals.

Yeah. So whatever corporate event he'd do, they'd have to be okay with some like giraffe and shark jokes for sure. Y'all seen blackfish. Look at her. She's a baddie. It's just a Rolodex of Boppa. It would be bad.

All right. This next one's called drunk, emotionless buffoon posted by Toronto rapture. That exchange, you know, happened to my girl. She was like, after my gig,

she was on the street in Venice and this car drove by. we have the video couldn't make out who it was and this dude took a fiji bottle a whole fiji bottle as they were driving and threw it as hard as it could right at her hit her right in the chest what what would you say there if your friend told you that i would try to make jokes brendan's not doing anything bad I don't think. I'd be like, man, are she okay? Like, yeah. Yeah. And then maybe once I found out, I'd be like, it was me that did it. We'll see if it was a friend that told me this isn't going to be the first time I'm hearing about it.

You'll tell me off the show, maybe. And then I'll be like, oh, that's pretty funny. This is a prep. They're like, we're going to talk about this story. It's like, he'll tell me a story that happened to his wife. Right. Whatever. And if he brings it up on story that happened to his wife, right? Whatever. And if he brings it up on the show, it's already cooking,

baby. I'm already in here doing, you can't wait to say that you hit a woman. Yeah. This is going to be hilarious. Well, you can't, you don't know what I would say.

I would have to, it would be a relationship. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. You never go full Bapa dude. No, I'm not going to say I hit women. Probably not. But that's what he's going to say. I think. Right. Well, I'm not going to say I hit women. Probably not.

But that's what he's going to say. I think. Right. Well, yeah. Yeah. Ready? Oh dude.

She couldn't, she was black and blue. She couldn't move her arm. She person was me. Yeah. She couldn't move her arm. I couldn't get another sold out. Son of a bitch.

They threw a Fiji water bottle. Yeah. But like, and what'd you do? I really messed her up nothing yeah i was i just got well i went and got the video i called the cops there's nothing yeah let's look into it if it hit her in the face she would have been in trouble it was like a full fiji water bottle the square one yes and they're driving and it was uh it was

it was it was uh full like they didn't yeah they heavy. They didn't take it out. They were expensive too. So someone probably rich. Hurt her. Yikes. Did she not fall down? Then he put her in an arm bar and she almost died. Killed her. Yikes.

Wow. Not cool to throw a water bottle at a woman whoever you are loser um but uh yeah brian and and uh shop don't seem to care too much it's like yeah my wife got hit with a water bottle and then shop just like yeah it was me and you didn't do shit all right so this one's called callan has fully clogged out b i think it clocked out. I thought earlier it was clogs like cog. What is it called? The fucking feet? Oh, clogs. Crocs. Those are both. Clogs and crocs are both shoes.

Oh, I'm redacted. I'm redacted. Alright, so it's posted by Toronto Rapture. Bizbing's commenting and this is why I love Bizbing because it's from a fighter's perspective and he had such a good take in the second round when Kamal kept getting hit in the nuts and like doing all the stuff come on I kept talking the ref be like he's doing this you got my glove it and business a key

Ignore all that do focus on the task at hand focus on winning the fucking fight Don't this outside noise all this distractions you got a phone and he caught himself and goes because DC goes But you got a dress getting kicked in nuts. Because he goes, no, you're right. And I'm like, no, you're on it. This being stick to your truth, bro. You're fucking on it. Yeah.

Cause I've been hitting the nuts and I'm just, even though it hurts, like who gives a flying fuck? Keep going, dude. Keep fucking going. Yeah. This is spot on, dude. Spot on. It is like sometimes someone is speaking a different language when Chop talks.

I just don't understand what he's saying. Yeah, at the beginning of the clip, it's like his body's trying to stop him from talking. He's like, bing, bing. I didn't even see that part, and I was watching. I was like, I have no idea what he's talking about. I think he's saying that if you get hit in the nuts and you're fighting it doesn't matter which is not true look at his body language right here watch his body's like don't say it shab don't say it don't no don't go to this point that makes no sense no one will believe you why are you thinking it he's like i have to say something i'll say that

when you get kicked in the nuts it doesn't hurt the thing that's like, I have to say something. I'll say that when you get kicked in the nuts, it doesn't hurt. The thing that's like, clearly not true. Everyone knows that who watches that clip. Bapa's the only person that thinks that if you get kicked in the nuts, it doesn't bother you. Every time you watch a fight and someone gets kicked in the nuts, they have to go to the side

and they put a pause on it for a little bit. Yeah. That's a great that makes no sense. Bapa's vagina confirmed homeless. Yeah, that's what Bapa has proved. it for a little bit. Yeah. That's a great, that makes no sense. Papa's vagina confirmed homeless. Yeah, that's what Papa is proof. He has a mangina. Because he doesn't, because he only gets kicked in the nuts.

It doesn't hurt. Papa somehow doesn't have a dick and balls. How did he have kids? I don't know. Weird. All right. So this next one's called Rinks with Crowder. It's posted by Axe is Family.

Steven, can you promote my dates? What are your dates? Well, this Saturday at Sony Hall in New York City. Saturday at Sony Hall in New York City. That's bigger than the Beacon, right? It's not. Yeah. Yeah.

Saturday at Sony Hall. That's going to be fun. Yeah. Saturday at Sony Hall. I just saw him, by the way, doing squat thrusts in our office gym with the bar so it's warming up it's because he couldn't afford plates you really need to go see him on saturday uh he's brian just goes from like one person that belittles him to the next is it better to be belittled by crowder than chob i don't know i don't know i guess you get paid

more to be made fun of by crowder is he saying he's poor because crowder's rich well he's i don't know. I guess you get paid more to be made fun of by Crowder. Is he saying he's poor? Cause Crowder's rich. Well, he's, I don't know. You got to read between the redacted lines. Right. I mean,

Joe doesn't like when he's plugging dates and he's got some other guy plugging dates for him on his Instagram. Yeah. He makes a little joke about how he's broke, but it's also to sell the show. He's trying to be like, go see him. Cause he's fucking broke.

It's probably not true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess, I mean, I'm just, yeah, I'm reading too far into it, I guess. I'm worried about you, Brendan. You're going full Bapa on me, dude. Apparently. Listen,

I put it all on myself, okay? It's not a sad thing. Alright, so this next one's called Callan puts Bapa in the weeds posted by Toronto rapture. Guys, if you're broke and you're down in the dumps, Chinese borrow $5,000 and buy illegally, illegally import a red,

illegally import a red air one. It's going to cost you how much? Uh, but what's that? What's that? Come on, dude. Okay,

dude, you're giving me in the weeds here i know what size i want good luck what size what size i want one i want one i want one the size of my forearm oh for for red or gold asian yeah from china yeah uh let's say seven to eight grand how much seven eight grand yeah and I got, don't I have to have a cage? Oh, minimum 300 gallons. Don't say cage. Okay, see, I don't know. Not a cage?

I'm not selling to you. Well, I want good luck. You're going to put them in a cage. I want good luck, bro. Now, you know, some people, their arowanas get so big, you know how you have that pond? Sure. They'll put them in those ponds. Here's the caveat, though. They need 78 to 80 degree warm.

78 to 80 degree, very warm water. But people will buy pool heaters and put them in those ponds so you can have arowanas in there. Something to think about. Also, your stupid raccoon with an arowana will eat that raccoon's stupid wet nose off. Is that true? Yes. I'm not hearing it from a raccoon.

A big one. No, no. How big are they? How much money you got? How much money you got? you're getting the wheat look up what feeds on on on arowanas jaguars jaguars he's kind of like um it's almost he's doing like a rogan bit you know rogan constantly explains like how a Traeger grill works. Oh, yeah.

Or like how to, like hunting. Yeah. That's what Bapa's trying to do with fish. Yeah. He's like, okay, here. And then he's probably botching whatever the person at the fish store told him. But he's like remembering some of it. Yeah.

And then the raccoon thing just is ridiculous. I guess Brian has a raccoon at his house. Yeah. Very animal-centric show, this thing. There's always like one animal that's eating another animal. Yeah. I guess the arowana is a beast of a fish and it eats raccoons. I find it hard to believe that a fish eats a raccoon.

Why would it be? But I don't know. Maybe it does attack raccoons. That sounds like a pretty cool thing to have, honestly, in your backyard. And frequent appearances by their favorite animal, the female that's right the baddies you see the animalistic tendencies of uh of shab and brian in this in this episode yeah seems like half the show is them just looking at pictures of other people's girlfriends and daughters and wives being like wow she's hot dude boner alert always comes back to boner alert raccoon confirmed homeless by homeless, by the way. Damn. Yeah, it is now.

I know the marijuana tried to eat it. Yep. All right, that's all we have for this week. Tune in next week. Thanks, bye.