10 Minutes of Schaub - Chin is TURNING ON BRENDAN SCHAUB | 10 Minutes of Schaub #122

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

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Well you can't tell by the way I flip my truck I'm the quiet boy that works too much Gettin' drunk on Monday morning I've been racin' around, my head straight as torque And that was alright, just as she And it still goes the other way And we can't take the shadow pin I'm so ready to take on red

Whether you're a boss or a wet, then you're a choker And I'm sellin' your merch, sellin' your merch Feel the confidence fakin' and everybody hittin' it We're sellin' your merch, sellin' your merch Ah, ah, ah, ah Sellin' your merch, sellin' your merch Good accounts are spanking Everybody hinking And we're selling your merch Selling your merch Ah ah ah ah Selling your merch Selling your merch

Ah ah ah ah SELLING YOUR MERCH One take It's time for my favorite time of the week When you get the ear pop But try to speak Release surprises today You better actually

Watch 10 Minutes of Shop Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon, join the Reddit. On the Patreon, we just watched Marlon Wayans' new special, Good Grief.

Is it Good Grief? Good Grief. Good Grief. Well, if you want to see what we thought about it, tune into the Patreon. Well, you got to tune into the Patreon. I just got over being sick. I still sound sick.

I'm sorry if I'm still sick. We're happy to have you back. We're glad you're all good. Yeah, it's your fault. You brought it from wherever you were, New Orleans or Seattle. Not the vid, but I brought you the coughs maybe. Yep.

Yep. But I'm feeling better, dude. I'm making it. I'm only at 108 degree fever. Okay. Well, you're I mean, I'm not a numbers guy, so who cares? Let's do it, right? Yep. That's not why they came, though, right? No. They came to watch 10 minutes of Shab.

So start the timer. Lay the chin. All righty. We got the first one posted by Seven Sexa. It's called, Apparently Rogan and Hinchcliffe performed in my hometown Stockholm once, and apparently my people didn't like it slash wasn't laughing enough. But apparently, according to Rogan, us Europeans don't laugh because we, quote, pay attention instead

and not because they're shitty comedians. Let's see. This looks like Sam Talent here. Let's see. This looks like Sam Tallent here. Let's go. But I got him. I took Hinchcliffe to Stockholm once. Yeah, Stockholm's fun. I had a great time, but he had never been to Europe before.

And we did two shows, and the first show, he's like, dude, they did not like me. I go, you got laughs. He goes, yeah, but then they died off. I go, no, no, that's what they do here. They pay attention. Like they pay attention in between. Yes.

I like this Tony Hinchcliffe. Very good. Won't you hear when Tony Hinchcliffe talk about healing killer? So I laugh. I laugh very hard a little bit. But then I think, you know, it's a very clever

joke to call David Lucas black and fat. Very smart. Cerebral. Yes, yes. Yes,

but he talk a lot about us. He do the crowd work. The crowd work was very good. He was roasting us. He was like a young wolf.

Hungry. I was not understanding why Joe Rogan wasn't funny at all. I like his podcast. Joe Rogan is a very funny. You're not Asian, dude. I can't stay in one accent.

I was trying to do like a German thing because that's as close as I know to what. Well, Stockholm, Germany. Stockholm's in Germany? No, it's Sweden. I'm just joking. I got you, though. I was like, wait a minute. Am I? What? I was No, it's Sweden. I'm just joking. I got you, though. I was like, wait a minute. Am I?

What? I was like, I thought that was Sweden. It's where Adolf, you know, ate the whole bullet. I think, I mean, it would be kind of funny if Europeans were just like, they like to think about something. You know, because some people are like, that's clever. You know, it's laughing. That's a personality type.

Oh, the Hinchcliffe really spilled the beans on us. It's a personality type. Ooh, the Hinchcliffe really spilled the beans on us. It's a joke. Yeah. I'm not dead recorded! Let's go, David! You were here. You're lucky. You're lucky you're a part of this thing

and no one's ever going to see. Shut the fuck up. I thought a lot of people were not big. We'd be cool. Let's just shut the fuck up. Can we just shut the fuck up? Can you shut the fuck up? I can shut the fuck up.

Trans women are women. How about most? How about almost all? You gotta leave room for crazy. No laughter. I go, no, no, that's what they do here. They pay attention. That's pretty close to our accents right there, dude.

Yeah, I think we nailed it. Stockholm. Stockholm looks pretty cool. Yeah. Netflix. Midsummer. I'll say one thing's for sure dude Stockholm different for sure

a lot of ladies and there are a lot of sunsets in the crowd tonight I mean it's just such a beautiful place maybe they don't maybe they don't laugh as much I don't know

they definitely don't strike me as like dick and semen humor people or poop jokes and stuff like that probably not but i have nothing for whatever reason i agree with you but i don't know anything about sweden also everyone looks transgender in this picture so it's like that joe rogan's not gonna hit really hard out there you know because sweet yeah he wouldn't uh relate to that crowd okay tits and dicks is what I call Stockholm, dude.

Homeless cat? Homeless cat, dude? What? Let us know in the comments if you're in Stockholm. Even if you're in Seattle or something, just be like, yeah, Stockholm out here, dog. When I went to Stockholm, Sweden, how beautiful the people were there.

I was walking down the street pointing at guys with my wife going, look at that guy. Look at that. That fucking guy, like he's like an accountant walking down the street. He's like, does he know if he fucking came over here, he'd be starring in movies. But I mean, I went into a couple, I went to this magazine, bought like a magazine or something like that when I was over there. And the woman behind the counter was like a fucking 11 here. But she was working at a magazine stand. So that was her energy.

Like, hey, how you doing? I'm working at a magazine stand so that was her energy like hey how you doing i'm working in a magazine stand i was waiting for him to be like and they would not stop laughing yeah and then she just kept laughing anything i said everyone in stockholm they laugh a lot they like you oh my god everything is so funny part of me was like can you just pay attention what are we doing here? Yeah. All right. This one I thought was funny. It's posted by corned beaver. Listen, there's a lot of these kinds of posts. First of all, I thought this one was funny because the shirt is ridiculous.

It's called Jesus. I can't even with this narcissistic word. That is a wild dress. I know. It's so crazy that she borrowed Brendan Schaub's shirt. Yeah. Yeah. He got, Oh dude, it's a wild dress. I know. It's so crazy that she borrowed Brendan Schaub's shirt. Right? Yeah. He goes, oh, dude, it's a hot chick.

Schaub is like, you remember those old shirts that kids would go on vacation and they'd come back from the boardwalk and they'd have a shirt and cartoons of big boobs and some guy drinking a beer, like fun, whatever, or some stupid saying? That's kind of like that. Oh, mom, can i get the shirt that has just boobs on it and they're just like no please is that your takeaway yeah because that to me looks like me and my dicey shirt dude that's what i'm saying oh the dicey shirt is classy they fit long dude they i don't have to wear underwear or pants with them on dude i see what you're saying

because it's the length is so long that's why. You know what I'm talking about. That's funny too. That's the style of D'Elia and Schaub and hype guys. Hype-based. They wear shirts that are gigantic. And you know what? It's because they have something I don't have, dude. What's that? A flat stomach, dude. Oh, right. Big muscles. They're like,

I wake up at 4.30, 4 in the morning. They can't be all tight. They can have some fucking space so you can fucking walk around. Look at my thighs. You can't be like all tight, you know. They can have some fucking space, you know, so you can fucking walk around. Look at my thighs. You can't even see them because my shirt's so big. Yeah, your shirt. Rogan's shirts always cover his thighs for other reasons.

Let's see what else we got here. I thought that was funny. This one, I haven't watched any of the chins this week clip. This one's called Never Forget, posted by ConfidentSearch8648. Gave this one a quick never forget posted by confidence search 86 48 gave this one a quick skim liked what i saw so let's see what this is about um though i know that it's been a really long time since you've heard from me um it's so different with music do it we might have to cut it out of the public episode because the music uh broke um I put out a statement that said everything I've done has been legal and consensual

and that's true. And I wanted that statement to speak for itself. He's a creep, dude. When you were on the shows, I had too much sex. And girls didn't like that. They said I'm a dick. I ate shrimp scampi in my hotel room.

She said she was 18. Oh, fuck. I pray to God she's not 18. But I'm a dolphin. I fuck people. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I don't belong here. I am the diddler.

That was good. Yeah, dude. High five. See how easy this was? You guys didn't even spend time on the parodies. One take. Yes. One take, dude.

How did it come out? Like, how did they... The boy's mother ended up finding it. Fucking hilarious. How did it come out? Like, how did they? The boy's mother ended up finding it. Finding it? What do you mean? His snapshot goes away, right? He probably saved it.

You can screen record, take screenshots. You got to know that that's going to happen. The worst thing for your friend to say. Yeah. After you get fucking, fucking shocked and then you're you gotta know that's gonna happen brian callan voice i thought i could go snapchat with no record of it turns out they screenshot it i can't sing with my voice callan would just be the worst co-worker ever he'd be so annoying and then every time you fucked up, he'd be like, dude, how did you do that? Like, shut up.

I forgot we were supposed to bring black shirts. Why is he the only one in the ugly sweater? Who knows, man? He's always in sweaters. Let's see. Some people do some crazy shit. I always knew Chris as a ladies' man. I have never, and I'm going to say this,

I have never seen or heard Of him doing anything illegal Ever I'm going to say it again I have personally never heard Or seen Him do anything illegal This is actually funny man Him doing this I think this is actually funny, man.

Him doing this? I think this is pretty funny. What's been the roughest thing you've had to deal with? In my life, the roughest thing I've had to deal with was being myself. Chancel. And

I did that. Chancel. Uh, and... I did that. I did that. Um, 100%. This is so good. Now, oh my god, the shirt back on. What is this from? Brent Morin loves it.

I apologize. Something like, let's take battles. Before we go, because, Brian, I want to give you the opportunity here. For people, you've been the latest victim of allegations of sexual assault. People can say the Me Too that's gone too far. Let me just ask you point blank. Accusation of rape. Did you do it? No, I did not.

Oops. Because I want to ask you, I had to put it on. I had to put on sunglasses. So obnoxious because your future is so bright. Yeah. That's exactly. Yeah. Okay. So you get it. What happened before I did that? Call Sal. I always have been saying that. It's Saul.

But I've always been saying that. Better tell Sal. Is that the grammar? No, no, it's not the grammar. It's the way. Dude. Dude, the fall from grace from like being that you're going to be like the next big thing to you're on a show where the guy the guy goes better call sal sal sal it's better call soul stop saying that it's so funny

oh delia from ll cool j to Brendan Schaub, dude. Whatever he says. Eagle voice. Now he's doing crowd work videos where people are having seizures. Instead of being in movies. Oh, fuck. Hello, Cool J is like, hey, everyone's so happy. I've seeked out a lot of kind of, you know, medical advice, therapy and stuff like that.

That doesn't matter here or there. But what I have come to understand is this was always about sex to me. I never thought in a million years that I'd be sitting here defending myself against something I did not do 21 years ago. So this is me saying that I categorically and absolutely deny all the allegations against me. An actor has been sexually harassing underage girls began surfacing this week after one alleged victim claimed that the Netflix series U actor once asked her for nude pictures, knowing that she was underage. However, the comic... Oh, my God.

Some of the pictures of these guys, they look so bad. It's like, it's almost like, damn, if I, if you get famous, you just got to like have never take a selfie.

Yeah. Never let anyone take a picture of you. You should. That's why Kanye West wears that mask in public. He's smart. Yeah, dude. Oh my gosh.

I have so many bad, I could never do anything. I have so many bad pictures of myself. Look at me, dude. Take a picture right now. It's going to be bad. Yeah of myself. Look at me, dude. Take a picture right now. It's going to be bad. Yeah, dude.

Golf, fishing, kids. That's it for me. Yeah. The apple doesn't fall. It's so crazy how both of them were the biggest comedy, comedian cancellations, and they're both friends. That is funny. I mean, you know, who knows?

Nuts. Drives me nuts. Yeah, dude. I dare you to go on after Chris in the comedy store. It's crazy. Nobody wants to book this guy. Alright, let's see the next one. This one's posted by Big Shoots. Look at James Austin Johnson.

We know that guy right now. We do. Okay, yeah. He's one of our guys. One of our guys. Speaking of which, Stavi is starring in his own movie coming to theaters near you. Now, before he starts sucking up and singing his praises, let's all recall Boppa saying he's not one of our guys. Let's see here.

Why do you think you're ready to transcend? I mean, because it sounds sick, honestly. Getting slurped up. God's watching. Me and you forever. Forever. Interesting. This also might get gadooshed straight up. Forever. Interesting. Guys!

This also might get Gadooshed straight up. Oh, yeah. Authorities speculate that this was a doomsday cult and have released this photo. Police ask for any information regarding the red-haired man in the center. Why aren't you dead? I did die, champ. I was sent back to get you.

You couldn't transcend without me. We need each other. What's up? I cannot wait to get some followers. So you guys are like a family? That's right. No brothers barging on your privacy. Stop eating off!

It's time to go to work! No, Uncle Aaron. That is not James Austin Johnson. Sleeping back, not letting your ass out. I know. I was like, I think I know who you're talking about, but not a chance, dude. I was like, damn, I think he's fucking... That's not him at all. That, Uncle Aaron. That is not James Austin Johnson. Sleeping bag, not letting your ass out. I know. I was like, I think I know who you're talking about, but not a chance, dude. I was like, damn, I think he's fucking, that's not him at all. That's so funny.

I would have said Johnny Pemberton before that. Keep it in. Keep it in. Yeah. And you're like screaming like, help me. This is Diane. I mean, we're just straight up watching a commercial now for a movie. Yeah, yeah. He's just doing well, I am. I mean, I wanted to watch it watching a commercial now for a movie. Yeah, yeah. He's just doing well, yeah. I mean, I wanted to watch it because I thought it was James Bond.

I think it looks pretty cool. I mean. It looks funny. I like the premise. As close as you can get to a funny movie nowadays, you know. They're a cult. They do one of those suicide things, but he doesn't die. That's a good premise.

And that sounds like a screenplay 101 kind of deal. Yeah. Shout out to Stavi, dude. One of our guys. Very funny fat man. You ever heard of that? What do you mean? He's a funny fat man? Yeah, he is. I thought it was like a saying or something. Well, there's one thing you can't deny. That man is fat.

You know what I mean? Be cool, Brennan Schaub. I see what you're doing don't you fucking try and out Schaub me don't make me go in a room and suck my dick

or whatever go in a room and suck my dick this one's posted by ROFL a roll truly which stand up

was worse I saw this what do you think like serious question yeah serious question? Yeah. Eight inches? Serious question? Yeah, eight inches.

I don't really know too much about his stand-up game in the UFC. So the answer's easy. So, yeah, I mean, it's still going to be UFC. I mean, he won some fights, right? Has he ever won a stand-up set? But as far as stand-up goes, he's the worst stand-up comedian that's ever existed. Sure, yeah. So that would mean he's worse at stand-up, right? as far as stand-up goes, he's the worst stand-up comedian that's ever existed. Sure, yeah. So that would mean he's worse at stand-up, right?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I don't know, because I don't have any balls to fight, dude. Oh, no. And he was like top, he always said, I was top ten. I mean, I respect his stand-up. I would respect his stand-up game, for sure. Yeah, dude. If he ever came up to me, I would just start punching myself, being

like, oh. I would run so fast if he wanted to fight me. Yeah. But before that, I'd probably do a bunch of shabbisms to see how far I could get. How many chicks you got? How many chicks you got? What would you say running away? Yeah, like as I'm running, I'm like, how many chicks are you fighting? And I might be able to beat him in running because he blows his hamstrings when he's running against Chappelle.

Yeah, run me to my truck. What else can you say in this? Like, if you had, like, he walked in right now, what are the shoppisms you would say? Is that Miley Cyrus' daughter? Eight inches. John Africa. Who the hell? John Africa. He's like strength. John Africa who the hell

John Africa he's like strength John Africa the last thing I say is some shopism not like I love I love you mom it droges

let's see here this is posted by Icy Fodant it's when Joe drops a trans joke. Two hungry wolves. I like the two hungry wolves thing a lot. He does kind of look like Woody.

I never thought about that. He does look like Woody. He's shaped like Woody. Yeah, he talks like him too. Joe's kind of like Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear and Woody when they're in the pod together. Toy Story is basically Rogan when That's a great assertion right there Dean

Buzz is just like Yeah what would Buzz say When he hits the DMT to infinity And beyond That's fucking good Yeah That's Um

Bert Kreischer as Mr. Potato Head Tom Seger as Mrs. Potato Head. Brendan Schaub is that girl that herds the sheep. I don't remember that one. Who does that? What does a sheepwood girl do? I don't know. I thought it would be funny to call a woman. That is funny. Is there like a really stupid

Toy Story toy? The T-Rex. Oh, then there you go. There you go. Schaub is the T-Rex, dude. Oh, damn. 100%. Brian Cowan's the Slinky. Toy Story toy? The T-Rex. Oh, yeah. There you go. There you go. Shop is the T-Rex, dude. Oh, damn. Dude. Damn. Oh, damn. 100%.

Brian Callan's the Slinky. Look at my thighs. The Slinky is creepy. Can you imagine like a Slinky that can move and talk? You'd be like, what the fuck? It's like, what? The Slinky is Callan or D'Elia. You're just like, why do you move like that?

Why are there two Slinkies in our company? What is it called? Toy Story. My daughter won't be going out with any slinkies as your toy. You're like, don't associate with that fucking slinky over there. Either of them. All the Kill Tony regulars are the army men. I got my eye on you, slinky.

Let's see here. What else do we have? Posted by Dazzlingling rabbit guess who fell for a parody account posting fake news you goddamn right my boy uh legend uh brandon chops is a legend brian battle is set to receive a 250 000 fine and a lifetime ban from competing in france from the french athletic commission after walking out to N-Words in Paris, finishing their French fighter, and flipping off the fans.

Apparently not real. See, here's the thing. Like, okay, I make fun of my friends back home for always falling for, like, I've talked about on our regular pod record tweet, he's Dom Lucre, thinker of thoughts, and all these stupid things. But at the same time,

Schaub is a guy, he wants to believe the cool story, right? He wants to think that fucking Mr. Rogers was a sniper that killed like 38 Viet Cong or whatever. Because he wants to believe in the fantasy. He wants to think cool things happen. So I understand that. He's just very stupid. He doesn't even take the two seconds to verify anything. And that can lead to a prom.

Mm-hmm. Got an information prom, y'all. He took ivermectin because he thought it was horse dewormer. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. This one's called Chin is Furious, posted by Hap Hazard. I was excited for this one. Let's see what happens.

Cookie's nice. Can I have that bag for the kiddos? Yeah, of course. They're going to freak out. Cookieies nice. Can I have that bag for the kiddos? Yeah, of course. They're going to freak out. Cookies nice. That is such a funny way to describe food. Cookies nice. Is it like a dessert? Oh, how's the dessert? Nice. I usually say good. I go, that's really good. Delicious. Or delicious. Yeah, delicious. That's when we're at the sushi spot and the people next to us, they saw we got this really crazy looking dessert and they were like, what is that?

And I was like, I didn't even know what it was because we had the chef pick jasmine cream or something like that. And they were like, is it good? And I was like, oh, it's delicious. It's nice. Cookie's nice. Can I have that bag for the kiddos? Yeah, of course. They're going to freak out.

Interesting. yeah of course they're gonna freak out interesting no not a fan I like my Toll House chocolate chips Toll House motherfucker wait what happened there I don't know Chin

said motherfucker right after this yeah let's see what this Toll House motherfucker oh cause it got fuzzy Toll House Chin said motherfucker right after this I missed it Motherfucker Oh cause it got fuzzy He did that on purpose

He's trying to blank the Blank something out of this I wonder what it was Maybe the drink Toll house Motherfucker Coca-Cola Toll house

Toll house Maybe an extra soda too So you can give him that Tollhouse The yellow one Yeah No I mean I like Homemade Tollhouse Yeah I know

Gluttony yellow Brown sugar Flour Semi-sweet chocolate chat Tollhouse Motherfucker Tollhouse Maybe an extra soda too So you can give him that Tollhouse The yellowfucker. Toll house.

And extra soda too, so you can give them that. Toll house. I can't figure out what he's mad about. No, I like homemade toll house. Maybe Chin has stock in toll house. Brown sugar. Flour. Motherfucker. Whatever it is, very interesting.

I don't know. Interesting. So let's see. One more time very interesting. I don't know. Interesting. So let's see. One more time past three. I don't know. Maybe you can spot it and see what's going on. Let's see a little bit ahead of time. He's drinking a Coca-Cola.

Oreo flavor. Interesting. No, not a fan. I like my Toll House. I like it. Chocolate chips. Toll House. I feel like it's an N-word or something.

Oh, fuck. That's why I'm trying to figure it out. Oh, maybe. Or Brian gave the white power symbol. Or you know what it is, dude? What? The door is getting too loud. Yeah, people.

Oh, that's what happened. Somebody walked in again. Yeah. Yeah. He walked in, yeah. It was like somebody that chinos money. He's like, motherfucker. Or they walked in and they had some sort of logo that you're not supposed to see.

And I don't know. This symbol or whatever, I've just heard. This is an A-OK symbol. But I've seen people online say it. I just want to be clear. If I ever do this, it means A-OK, nothing. Cooney is red-pilled. Let's see here.

What else do we have? So there's a big, what is it called? Painting of a narrative that Chin is losing it. Oh, yeah. That T5K. And Chin, if you're watching this, these chairs are mighty comfortable. Yeah, come on the pod. Yeah, possibly.

We're hard to get. So this is posted by DazzlingRabbit633. It's called, were hard to get uh so this is posted by dazzling rabbit uh 633 it's a call i wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them and obviously it's it's the mma show yeah interview junkies or mma holes yeah yeah with hello mark harley great time special time i mean we knew we were in the good times then, dude. That was fun. That was a great time. That was hilarious.

This next one is, chin is a real problem at the moment. Posted by ConfidenceSearch8648. So this is what I'm talking about, the narrative of being painted about the chin thing. You know what I mean? Chin, I think, is added up to his eyeballs. Okay, shit. Thanks for watching. We're at 57 minutes.

Yeah, that's not enough that's definitely enough damn Chin why are you just man Chin's got his shades on today he's just feeling like the shit just bossing everybody around the vibes between all of us

have kind of just Chin and I here I don't know we might struggle oh we would definitely struggle is this you mean? well it was a fun first episode it's only gonna get better from here and uh thanks everybody what the oh wait chin you unplug anything uh not really well weird so strange you know what i know it's off though

well you know it's off of you think a beanie guy don't got a beanie you didn't even have to say it dude i i knew that was gonna be it yeah yeah well i mean how I know it's off, though. You know it's off if you think about it. Beanie guy don't got a beanie. Didn't even have to say it, dude. I knew that was going to be it. Yeah. Well, I mean, how can he do the show? That's why Jen probably saw that and put his sunglasses on and was like, fuck this show. Oh, Beanie, you think you can have a hat?

That's a prop. He put a hoodie on. He was like, I just can't even want to be here. Like, what the hell is this, dude? What is he wearing? He thinks he's going to wear a golf hat? And a tiger thick sweat hoodie with no beanie? Oh, dude, you're sitting in Brendan's shop seat, daddy.

You're one guy. We know you as Beanie Man. What are you doing here? You want us to call you Beard Guy? Not going to happen, Captain. No. Fuck out of here with your bullshit. Yeah, dude. Dummy ass motherfucker.

Let's see here. This one's posted by stone 0777 haven't seen that even forever uh redact exposes the comedian josh wolf's personal family matters let's see this we didn't watch this already right no i saw it on the reddit but i didn't click play um but yeah shout out to Josh Wolf dude yeah man the best wishing him the best and dude he's absolute absolute best that poor dude right cause his oldest daughter really struggles with addiction

I didn't know that you don't need to say all that yeah he's talked about it on here yeah so crazy dude shop just goes like we know this right Let's talk about it on here. Yeah. So crazy, dude. Shop just goes. Like, we know this, right? If he learns something about us,

I mean, he's going to talk about my small teeth, big gums. He's going to talk about the Sharpie. Yeah, he'll talk about your hairy back, too. Yes. Yep. Your beard being too big when it was, and then you shaved it because it was too big. I trimmed it, the new guy.

He trimmed it a lot, but I actually like a trim. Pause. New guy, dude? What the hell? This one's posted by ConfidenceSearch8648. It's called Always Was a Redact. Let's see what this is about. Well, here's what athleticism will do for you.

This guy was in the NFL. Yeah, yeah, he got cut. So can he play football at the highest professional level? Probably not. But he's an amazing man. Did you hear what he said? Yeah, dude. I just landed like, can he play football at the professional level?

Probably not. That's kind of a good, that's a good douche. Good douche. This guy was in the NFL. Yeah, yeah, he got cut. So can he play football at the highest professional level? Probably not. But he's an amazing Brazilian jiu-jitsu artist

holding a professional record of one win with no losses. He stands six feet, four inches tall, fighting out of Denver, Colorado, Brendan Schwab! Yes. Schwab. Can't play football, Schwab. Is there going to be a third disrespect?

Oh, Schwab just gave him the Josh Barnett. He just got the throat slice. He got Barnetted. Very good theatrics. I'll give him that. Takes care of Johnny Curtis. Brendan Schwab in his pro debut as a 25-year-old. And he might be penalized for over-celebration there.

Well, let's say the NFL. Oh, man. Perfect clip. I'd never seen the beginning before where he says, you can probably play in the NFL. Probably not. Could he host a podcast with other people? Probably not.

Could he do a show about going to food trucks and getting food? Probably not. Showtime. How did that go? Yeah, just all the different things. Hilarious. This one's called Brennan Schaub, beast of a business owner and brother blurts out his, I feel like we

already watched this one, but I could be wrong. Blurts out his employees medical issues on national earwaves too late to XJ now. I don't know. Let's see your post about earwaves. I got a shout out to Jay, Jay Schaub. As soon as you watch that podcast jay's like dude these nerds telling you to quit drinking and i'm like i was laughing jay doesn't mean

jay barely drinks no but jay said even i was he goes but i told him i was like yeah i you know they're just you know that's the studio right it's not here yeah i think that's someone opening another door that's the door dude let's get this door noise really quick. Jay doesn't mean, Jay barely drinks. No, but Jay said even, he goes, I told him, I was like, yeah. Why does it sound different every time? It's either someone opening the door or maybe all the liquid going down the sink. It's like a wooden creaky door in like the Midwest now. We should do, you know how we did a tier list?

What if we did a tier list of like the funniest things that have ever actually happened? I think that sleeper for it is someone walking in while they're recording. Remember when they have Howie and they're like that and then the cockroach on the carpet. Some of the door shit. Think about it. The nicotine all over the ground.

Yeah. The flip flops. Let's see. They're just looking out and plus it's just, I think just for my health, I should stop for a while. And he goes, yeah. We're not that young. Then he goes, yeah, yeah.

I like to still drink every now and then. I like to still drink every now and then, but yeah, I get it. Jay barely drinks, but also Jay's going through his own stuff. Hopefully he doesn't mind sharing. Jay's going through his own stuff. Hopefully he doesn't mind sharing. Jay had to get checked for diabetes. Oh, damn. And Jay's going through his own stuff. Hopefully you don't mind sharing. Jay's going through his own stuff. Hopefully you don't mind sharing. Jay had to get checked for diabetes.

Oh, damn. And Jay's healthy as fuck. Yeah, but he's a candy. He's a candy. Not really. Jay eats pretty healthy. And his whole thing was, I was making fun of him. I'm like, what are you doing?

He's like, man, I keep, he just stays lean. He's like, bossy. He's like, I just stay lean. He's like, I'm trying to put on some weight. So he's like eating fucking pizza and Cinnabon. He's like, no, I'm. He's like, I'm trying to put on some weight. So he's like eating fucking pizza and Cinnabon. He's like, no, I'm going to Taco Bell. I'm like, dude, this can't be good. He's like, no, I'm 210.

I'm 210. Look at me. Show me pictures of Zabs and stuff. You got a good body. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, but your insides. Where are those going? Sure enough.

Sure enough. They're like, yeah. Like, he's got his blood work done. It was horrendous. Called it. Yeah. So he's like right on the verge where full-blown diabetes. Called it. Toughen.

Man. Oh, look how he looks different here, dude. Roughness. Yeah. Drinking stages. Colin, it takes it out of you, daddy. Being a Nostradamus. Yeah, his power. Being the Nostradamus power where he can break things. Yeah. Drinking stages. Colin, it takes it out of you, daddy. Being in the, yeah, his power, being the Nostradamus power where he can break things.

Yeah. Takes a lot of energy out. You know how hard it is for me not to be shot with your hypochondriasms? I would be like, oh, and then just tell everybody, like, Brandon got his results back. What if he just started saying like everything that happens to me? It's like he's going to die. Like, I'm fucking, are you exaggerating?

Yeah. Brandon thinks he has mold again. That's going to die. Are you exaggerating? Yeah. Brandon thinks he has mold again. That's my own podcast. You do a pod about this pod? So Brandon's complaining. He thinks mold came back. Brandon said he's sick. Let me see.

What else do we got here? Okay, so another chin turned into the dark side here. It looks like posted by Chin Second Balcony. Chin, your apron is ready when you are. Let's see. That's a funny title. That's our boy Sean Merriman, right? Oh yeah, you're right. That is. He wants to get back

to the UFC, right? He does, yeah. So much talent, man. Stupid talented. And cool guy too. Yeah, great guy. We met him. Great guy. We met him. Great guy. we met him great guy we met him great guy we met him what is he doing

he's beginning to believe so funny oh I mean there's not really much there he's just no but then maybe that's the point

you know whenever they do the sayings they would say shit like you find a funny clip like that that motherfucker clip was weird which one was that he's a motherfucker oh yeah i wonder what that was i really want to know yeah chin please also get some wd-40 please chin if you want to tell us what's going on talk to us through our tiger belly rep yeah um or have speak through us through uh esther's see. This one's posted by Wiz McFly.

It's a, what was the title? Water. Brendan Shaw posted this UFC Paris main card is better than the sphere card in every facet. Facet. I thought he was going to stop saying facet, dude. No, never. Wow.

He's going to say facet in every facet. And he put a sink in there. Every day. Oh, sink. Let that sink in. That's so funny. He didn't think of the sink thing. Wow.

He's a genius. I think he's on Baja mode. He might have relapsed. He was a year sober. Think he's on Baja mode? Oh, sir. The more of the Yenabomber. Oh, I thought you were going to keep going with your bit.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm just laughing at this picture of Chin. He looks crazy as hell. This is posted by CaterpillarHot7539, Yenabomber. I mean, that is how he's dressed. He's got the tiger thick sweater on. Why is he wearing the tiger thick sweater? Drinking a little bit.

Got a voodoo ranger there. IPA or something. A few. IPAs and Coke. Coke Zero, or Coke Sugar. Is that what it's called? Chin is the offering.

What else do we got here? This one's posted by One Usual 4460. It's called, Only 250 Can Handle the Largest, or Handle the Hardest Gig and Show Business. Oh, yeah. When he films himself going to Laugh Factory. It might get a douche because the music but let's see it's so funny to show just standing like that gigantic t-shirt skinny jeans

backpack backpack in your 40s dude the tightest pants dude this is a chick right here yeah yeah you look at the bottom and you think that's like a fucking thick woman more like thick boy oh man he looks all confused like first day of school vibes yeah that intro is so awkward mom told me that i gotta look cool on my first day of school i'm gonna call you. Oh, there's a cool guy. Hey, what's up, Jimmy? Do you have Mrs. Ross? Wait, what'd you say? Do you have Mrs. Ross, too? Diet starts Monday, dude.

Oh, no. Well, I hear the music We're just gonna have a laugh out here Early Friday night crowd Your boy's doing some new stand-up That's not The face of someone who did well And he says, your boy's trying some new stand-up

Very fucking This face? Yeah, this is not, like, I just crushed You don't look like that after you do well at stand-up is this new no right i think it's old folks we are rushing to the hollywood improv i am on stage in 10 minutes what's up just got off stage at the Hollywood Improv. Your boy, Rand here. I had three minutes before I had to go on stage. Almost missed my first set ever in seven years. But I made it.

It was a great set. I'd say it was better than Laugh Factory. You never know what you're gonna get. But if you want to see your boy, all new material. I did new material tonight. Different set than I did for the frickin' Laugh Factory. Then the improv. Your boy is coming to Fort Wayne, Indiana. Never been. Be cool, Fort Wayne. I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana next Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And the week after, I'm in San Diego.

I shot my very first special. I'm in San Diego at the Laugh Factory in downtown San Diego. Come get you some. Love you guys. Thick Boy Nation. Go to thickboy.com for details. I'm out. I mean, great club, though.

What's it called? The San Diego Laugh Factory? Great club. Gotta say, murdered. Those were the days, man. We used to do that shit. We could see him do stand-up. It fucking sucks. No, I'm talking about me.

I went to the San Diego. Oh, yeah, see him do stand-up. It fucking sucks. No, I'm talking about me. I went to the San Diego. Oh, yeah, yeah. He probably bombed. Yeah, probably. But bombing's all part of it, dude. You got to take the wins with the losses. You know why the losses create the wins, daddy. I know.

I wish he understood that. When he makes his return, we'll deserve it. You're right. That's the way I think about it. This one's posted by Dazzling Rabbit yet again. All my family is in the military. This is what it's called. Let's see.

But isn't it when you think about all that, like in the military, I still adore the military. All my family's military. So all my family's military. That's just funny. Is your family all military? Not in the slightest. Not in any facet.

All righty. Let's go to this one posted by, what's that name? Salami Gun? Salami Gun. Yeah, I got it. It's called It's Not That Awesome. Let's see. So I do all like the social branded stuff for Brendan.

So any like goofy, weird videos that you guys all probably hate um i do those and then i do all brendan's uh what remember brendan shops so that he handles all the stuff oh fuck yeah he said he does all the socials now and so we're not i'm not reading this is wrong right no this is the guy doing all those electric cars are for pussy stuff that guy's this guy's talking about men on airwaves now so i do all like the social branded stuff for brendan so any like goofy weird videos that you guys all probably hate um i do those and then i do all brendan's uh drive fast all gas stuff that's awesome i listened that show i probably heard you guys voice and you said you hosted an after it's not that awesome i do all brendan's uh drive past all gas stuff i mean yeah he says it's not that awesome so that's the point in the clip right he's like it

sucks but i feel like that is that is every guy that works on a show um like a one of these shows they're always very self-deprecating you know know? They're like, it's not that great. Because that's like the personality of a kind of guy that works. Just to be real. Not funny to say that, but it's true. No, I mean, it's not that awesome for you to say that. That was good. I mean, he doesn't seem thrilled.

Sure. At all. Yeah, maybe. Maybe he's at the studio. It's his job. And you're on earwaves talking about your job. Yeah. And the job is all earwaves,

dude. You know what I mean? Sure. Sure. On top of that, I'm rocked just by Brendan shop, not controlling his own Instagram. So,

okay. More fun take on this. What do you think he, why do you think he's saying it? What is not awesome? Specifically, do you think about the job? Um,

I E Marg Harley getting asked to do so many jobs at once right and this guy's probably just the next guy they're doing the same shop's doing the same thing to this poor guy who kind of looks like beanie man's brother love bomb right right that's how it starts hugs kiss not well you know hugs hikes cars fish kids and then it turns into hey man can you give me some can you give me some magic mind let's just say he's off drugs and alcohol okay you know and what is it what did that one girl say you know i mean and then it turns into i need it by tonight dude what the hell i need i gotta see i'm gonna go to this uh mint 400 can you be my security you know can you

be that guy's security yeah and then it turns into like tearing him down. He's what, a buck fucking 20, dude? Yeah, he can't do security. 5'4"? Mark Harley's intimidated. He got to knock that off real quick, dude. Yeah. I pray to God he don't put four C's on Tiger Thick.

You know what I'm saying? I know. That's probably what I was going to say. It's the stress. The stress of always being like, oh, fuck. Is there three C's? It's not four, right? Does he really want me to ask Jay or do I just let it go? Is it

rhetorical? You have nightmares about whether the donut is placed in the right place. Yeah. So he's going through it, dude. I think we're a little witness. You might be right. I mean, the vibe is off in that studio. Definitely for that show? Yeah. Why don't they know how to podcast? That's

what they do. All day long, but it's different when you're in the chair. We know. People think they can sit in these red chairs. Talk about coffee for 40 minutes? That's a problem, dude. You know what I mean? We do it better than anyone. Let's see here.

This one's posted by Twisted Tippies, right? Tipples or something? Big Brown. Big Brown Chew. I don't know if you see that but already artificially flavored r word yeah shredded zin yum in a state fresh pouch oh oh oh riley's auto parts 35 your youtube videos and then a long comment at the end there i like it it's um you know it puts everything into a funny thing that we all remember, Big League Chew. Upside down LA hat?

Upside down hat. That's good detail right there. One thing they're missing is three C's anywhere. Like C, C, C, E, W or something. That would have been funny if it was three C's Chew, but then it might have been too big at that point to fit over his head. I mean, we got plenty of real estate right here with two C's right there. Maybe throw in, for no reason, Dr. Doom in there somewhere.

Well, what I'm trying to say is it's not from Brennan's shop. Oh, yeah. Because it's one C. Yeah, true. Yeah. Let's see what this is. Okay, so I don't know about this one. There might be a lot of stuff getting douched out of this episode.

Supposed to buy. Okay, conclusion 7304. Friday Beer's newest video making fun of the Rogan verse stand up and bonus podcast parody at end all the comments making fun of Rogan to dicey dicey. Let's see. Oh shit. All right, let's see this. That's kind of funny.

Watch out, retard! Austin, Texas! Dude, this is good. Uh-oh, looks like it's time to... Oh, my God! Fucking love you guys. Oh, man, you guys are awesome. You in the gray sweatshirt, what's your name, dude? Kyle.

Kyle. Retard. Kill yourself, Kyle. I hate that face. Oh, y'all rule, man. Oh, you guys have been awesome. That's been my time. Love you guys. Hey, it's time to... What?

He said, so money, dude. The way he said, so money, dude. Oh, so money dude a gun i am pogliacci you know that pogliacci. You know that Pagliacci, you know that thing, right? But doctor, I am Pagliacci. You never heard that? All right, let me tell you real quick.

I think I remember. All right, so this guy, he goes to the doctor and he's like, I'm so depressed. You know, nothing makes me happy. And the doctor's like, oh, I think I might have a cure for that. Or like, I have a suggestion. The guy's like, what? He's like, you got to think I might have a cure for that. Or like, I have a suggestion. The guy's like, what?

He's like, you got to go see Pagliacci the Clown. He's so funny. He makes everybody like laugh and feel better. And he goes, but doctor, I am Pagliacci. Oh my God. What's that from? I don't know. It's like an old, I think it's like an old.

Wife's tale. Yeah. Let's see. Thank you so much for coming on, Will. I mean, the special. Yeah, it's a joke. I was just telling Joe, our producer, like, we're not... One sec.

We're promoting the special, so go check that out right now. So good. So good. Cool. We're also promoting Fireball, okay? It is the perfect shot for your game day, whether you're sneaking those little shooters right before you go into the stadium, whether you're doing a Fireball keg at the tailgate lot,

taking a tailgate shot, or you're taking a celebratory touchdown at the bar, it is the perfect way to ignite your game day. That's good. Hats off. Matt Angus or whatever. Literally. That's really his name.

I don't know. That was great. Hell yeah. I haven't seen that yet. This one is from rf rofl roll again how many beans shall we spill i mean what the fuck dude he's wearing the he's got cards on him daddy you see that but like if it wasn't for his terrible personality this might be like just committing the bid kind of funny

dressing like this and i don't know it's cool to wear costumes personality, this might be just committing the bid kind of funny, dressing like this. I don't know. It's cool to wear costumes on your show. I mean, where is the cow at, dude? Those are crazy. I wonder how much this costs. How much that cost might really blow our mind. Like if it's a super expensive shirt.

I think it's just a costume, but he went to fucking Gucci to buy this or something imagine it says Gucci on each finger it's a Hermes cards shirt yeah by the way I'm wearing this because I'm a cowboy each glove costs $500

he snaps you're black and fat David but Tony David's not here shut up shut up I'm a cowboy I kind of look like David except I'm not fucking fat lasso it your set was pretty bad I think you need to throw a lasso around it

I don't know any cowboy like slang and I'm trying to think of things he would say as a cowboy like what do you say I know I don't know any cowboy slang. I'm trying to think of things he would say as a cowboy. What do you say? I know they say that you should get back on the horse, but you shouldn't. Do another one of these. The cowboy never says, oh, dude. This is a six shooter.

I can't do it. I'm the only cowboy in this town. And I came here to chew bubble gum and ride horses. And guess what? I want to suck a horse's cock. I was going to laugh, but I was doing my cowboy noise, dude. It was not my best. We'll give up on that bit.

Let's see here. You can learn more about cowboys. Caterpillar Hot posted this. 7539 is a prom. The usual sex pests, it says here. Great Photoshop job. Diddy, Kevin Spacey didn't change much. You got Brandon Schwab, The Diddler, and Brian Callen.

It's funny with the heights, you'd almost think. I mean, Rogan's not accused of this, but. Rogan would be like right there. Yeah. Yeah. That's different. Is Brandon Schwab accused of it? Not yet.

Let's see. This one is posted by Haphazard. It's called, I blame the team for not being able to understand Bapa. And this is the last clip for the day. So let's really enjoy it, boys. Let's see here. I just went down the rabbit hole. This is a good distraction, but then you want to go down conspiracy real quickly before you go there?

You want to go down conspiracy? Oh, yeah. He just won a billion dollar lawsuit against Ciroc. Who did? Did he did? Won a billion dollar? Not a million, sir. A billion. What? Against the rock? Yeah, Ciroc. Not the rock. Oh, Ciroc. Dude, I thought he said the rock, sir. A billion. What? Against The Rock? Yeah. Sir Rock. Not The Rock.

Oh, Sir Rock. Sir Rock. Dude. I thought he said The Rock, too. I heard Sir Rock, but isn't that P. Diddy's own brand? Yeah. Something or something. But Diddy also, you know, he was a problem, dude.

Hearing aids and hair transplant, right? Sir Rock, the vodka. Remember, that was his shit. Oh, yeah. He filed a race, some race thing against him. He won a billion dollar. Think about how evil he is. If I touch, if I look at Billy, her baby girl,

the wrong way, she would shoot me. At Billy, her baby girl. What? I don't know. That was very confusing. I don't understand the end. Yeah. I mean, he's a conspiracy head, dude, just like us. He's probably

right, though. I mean, Sir Rock, he sued Sir Rock, and then they just made up all the stuff about all the baby well and all that. I mean, why else would he be saying that if it wasn't 100% correct? He speaks facts. Big facts, dude. That conspiracy theory was fire.

Sandwich. I just picture all the Toy Story toys talking on a podcast now. That'd be a good fucking video. Yeah, you just animated all the TRX in his voice. There you go, chefs. TRX, 2X, you know what I mean? Dude. Dude, you got the best brains.

All right, guys. See you next week.