10 Minutes of Schaub - Howie ROASTS Brendan Schaub 7 TiMeS a WeEeEk DICEY DICEY | 10 Minutes of Schaub #41

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Forty first episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

🎵 🎵Shout with the bar, the bang, the bang🎵 🎵Like I said, like I said, walk me to my truck🎵 🎵If your name is Annie🎵 🎵Shout with the bar, the bang, the bang🎵 🎵Like I said, like I said, walk me to my truck🎵 🎵If your name is Annie🎵 🎵Shout with the bar, the bang, the bang🎵

🎵Like I said, like I said, walk me to my truck🎵 🎵If your name is Annie🎵 Oh, foo! Shop with the bar, the bang, the bang. That's it, that's it. Walk me to my truck. If your name is in it. One take. Shout out to Ivan Rodriguez for the idea. Boom. It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get to hear Bob Butter try to speak.

Release surprises today. You better act fair. Watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Great guest on the show last week. Shout out to JT Parr. Thanks for dropping in. Hope you enjoyed it.

Join the Patreon. Join the Discord. It's free. All the episodes are on Spotify. If that's not why you're here, you're here to watch 10 Minutes of Shop. So start the timer now. All right. So we've got quite a jam-packed episode.

A lot of the episode today is going to be about Howie Mandel's podcast. Okay. But we're going to start off right now with some Hello Mark Harley posts. I don't know if you're aware, but this one's called I F'n Love Addies, LOL. Guy who regularly accuses others of being drug addicts and claims, quote, I've never done drugs before trying ecstasy last week in his act. Ooh. And then it's from one of our guys.

Yes. From one of our guys. And it's basically just a bunch of freaking mentions of Addie's in the DM. So, yeah. So he changed his name to, yeah. Dumb fuck,

you know, a word word. And back around 10 a.m. tomorrow, I'll be home around 11, work in Addie's? It's just like how social is just with Addie's. Yeah, he does. It seems like he has a lot of that. Shab is a guy that sticks to a routine when he's texting. Dig juice, Addie's, other things.

Addie's with the Zannies and addies, hence the addies. Also need more addies with the little confused face emoji. He knows it's bad for him. Scrambles his brain. I need more. So that's the first post. And then the second

one is also a Mark Harley classic. Quote, whatever happens you still own the Haters Will Say YouTube channel. Brendan, November 2022. And then the post is, you are no longer an owner of Haters Will Say. A lie. Yes. See, that's the actual bad stuff that Brendan does. Yeah.

The, you know, guaranteeing he's going to have it and then take it away. Like. Yeah. Both ways be. Sometimes both ways is no good. No. Yeah. Can't have it and then take it away. Like both ways be sometimes both ways is no good. No. Yeah. Can't have it both ways sometimes.

So just wanted to highlight the, uh, big a lions post there. And now we get into the clips, dude. And I didn't see this whole clip, but it made me laugh quite hard when I saw the beginning. Oh,

nice. Netflix. Yes. So it's posted. It's already funny. So many clips start with a screen grab. That's funny. The rain. Yeah. And it's posted. It's already funny. So many clips start with a screen grab. That's funny. The rain.

Yeah. And the fifties would be a guy with a coffee. Yeah. Today's world. It's shot with a disgusting energy drink. I imagine. Yeah. So it's posted by minimum sky at 2305.

It's called mortal combat. Dicey dicey. Why does he look like he's worked 30 years in newspapers? I don't know. Are you ready for this? Yes. It's popping. Monday morning.

That's more combat. Man. That's the worst Mortal Kombat rendition I've ever heard. It's so bad. Rendition? Did I say rendition? I think so. As you know, we all turn into Shab eventually.

Oh, my God, dude. That shit made me laugh so hard. What's poppin'? Monday morning. Skits and bits. Some skits and bits there from a bop himself. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I think Walsh sent me that. Shout out to world record.

Oh yeah, shout out Brendan Walsh, dude. I definitely, I remember getting a text from him a while ago with the blah, blah, blah, blah. He's like, why didn't you put that on the show? It's the funniest clip ever. There you go. There you go. Alright, so this one's posted by Shitter Throat Slitter. Another Rogan and Shorty Pies of recently, dude. Yeah, it's the funniest clip ever. There you go. There you go. All right, so this one's posted by Shitter Throat Slitter,

another Rogan and Shorty pies of recently, dude. Yeah, he's been popping up all the time. It's called Brenda Disrespects Tommy Fury. Keep that same energy, B. I would be willing to bet, if anybody out there wants to take this bet, Jake knocks him out in under four rounds. Tommy Fury in no facet.

Anyone who has an eye for boxing is going to say this guy is a power puncher in any freaking facet. He punches in volume. He wants to stay outside. He hates when it gets dirty. This is a nightmare of a matchup for Tommy Fury. I don't know if you've noticed, but I did say something on a past 10 minutes of shop. There's now two Funko pops located behind Brennan shop. You know,

my theory on Funko pops, right? No. What is it? That YouTubers, the more Funko pops they have behind them, the more depressed they are. And why is that?

It just makes sense. I guess so. I mean, he does seem like he's, you know, on a downward spiral and he has, did he have one? And now he has two.

I don't remember seeing any Funko. There's never been. We can't see what they are. Right? No. Probably like, are remember seeing any Funko Pops before. So there's never been. We can't see what they are, right? No. Probably like, are there any UFC Funko Pops? Probably. I don't know. Maybe it's a George Carlton Funko Pop or Spring Spring. If anyone knows,

please comment below what those Funko Pops are. John Africa. We should get some behind Brendan. That'd be dope. The more that he gets, we have to get you some too. There's not a Shah Funko Pop, is there? I hope. Pray to God there is. Yeah, if there is, we might have get you some too. There's not a shop Funko pop. Is there? I hope, pray to God there is. Yeah. That will, if there is,

we might have to spend some money on that. Let's see. No animosity towards Tommy, uh, fury in any facet. I actually enjoy the guy. I love them on, uh,

any facet. Why would he not like Tommy? Best guess. Was that a question? Yeah. Is he boys with Jake Paul? I don't know. Okay.

Yeah. Get a guy on there. And with his shout out to Molly May, his wife and baby mama. So I have no issues with him. Well, Tommy gets way more respect now, right? After looking at all his other fights,

does he, he looked like, I think he gets more respect. When you look at his record, the, the people he fought, it was really like, I had no respect.

Who is it? Read it out loud, George. About his life, highs and lows. So interesting that you come across like a nightgown, but you're really a piece of shit. The little chains clip at the end there. Yeah, Boppa loves to do that, man. That's another standard Boppa way of being is saying one thing

and then saying the exact opposite in the next clip. Both ways every time. Block bus a beat. Stand by your word, Bapa. Jeez. He's a flip-flopper. Flip-flopper. Oh, really, dude? Yeah. Okay, Mr. Whole Foods. Do you have one?

You have another one or no? Seven times a week. All right. There we go. You know, one thing we've been really good at is just shopping off each other dude exactly yeah exactly honestly yeah 100 yeah people paint a narrative that we can't do that but um uh you know name the waters on youtube comments yeah they're all skits and bits dude yeah they're just doing skits and bits yeah all right so this one's called never cancels a show posted by minimum sky 2305 here it goes and the reason

why i had to cancel the other shows is because saturday march 4th you think i would want to be anywhere else besides thick boy studios doing a calabasas fight campaign for John Jones return. I had to. It's rare I cancel dates. I never do. I had to. It's John Jones. It's the GOAT. The best to ever do it is back at heavyweight.

It's going down this Saturday. I just had to reschedule those two shows in Braille. Your boy had to do it. Wait, what? He said that he never canceled a show? Calabasets. That's what I heard. It's a place in Massachusetts.

Where are you going in the summer? I'm going to go to Calabasets with the family. Get a sailboat. I never cancel shows. I cancel three shows. Was he just saying he did cancel shows, but he doesn't. But is that one, was he just saying like he doesn't,

he did cancel shows, but he doesn't usually, and he had to reschedule for this though? I think so, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it's not that redacted really. It is very redacted because of all the times that he's canceled shows. But before, yeah, that obviously he's lying about

the other times when he didn't sell tickets or his team or crew messed up about COVID restrictions or there was some sort of mix up. Why lie? No one cares. Nobody cares. I feel like I'm Shabban Rogan. Yeah, nobody cares. Nobody. The most care.

The most don't care. Some would say the most don't care-ist. You guys, if you want tickets, see me Friday night. But Saturday, I had to do what I was born to do, and that's talk trash to my friends. I'm watching drink whiskey with nicotine in my mouth. With Chen, Casey, and George, and a few special guests,

we have a great lineup for the companion. Now, back-to-back companions, a lot of work for your boy. Yesterday's was four hours. Four hours. Thank God for the talent on the show. Four hours for tommy fury jake paul which we'll get into but uh hold that note because this saturday we have another special cal bass fight campaign for usd 285 john jones cyril gone you got the one the only the

biggest man no pun necessary there the biggest man in country. No pun necessary. That's good. That's good, dude. That's Sopranos level writing good. No puns necessary. No pun necessary. And he's also like, he's doing the Manasculco thing a little bit again, where he's like, a little bit of work for your boy.

But it's like as if you took all of the energy out of maniscalco and you just left a slab of a man what's going on with papa too much podcasting i guess and he's just it's redundant he's just he's already told you about it yeah let's see music music period it is jelly roll jelly roll is in studio and then you also have the great the freaking mvp of fight companions rampage jackson now we got a very special guest he's flew all the way from nashville tennessee he's on a popular podcast called bussing with the boys and he is blowing up right now i I think he's a free agent as far as the NFL goes. He played for the Raiders, Washington,

the Titans. He's bouncing all over. But he's my brother from a more athletic mother. It is Will Compton from Bustin' with the Boys. So that is your lineup. Rampage Jackson, Jelly Roll. Just letting people know that we record this Saturday mornings. So tonight is the Fight Companion. So next week's episode i'm sure will feature many fight companion clips uh unless he

does what he's known to do which is cancel shows he cancels the whole there's no caligansett fight companion yeah all right so this next clip is posted by MinimumSky2305. Again, it's called Boppa's Gets Ice. Plural on Boppa's. I don't know why that is, but let's see what happens. Intriguing. On his feet. He's hunching. So many drinks.

Oh, fuck. He hits him all the time. He doesn't know what to do. Uppercut. He's got... The ice is like right there in front of him. He's like... I just drank water. 35 seconds, Brendan.

Who got hurt? We had one knockdown. You were here for the knockdown. So they actually took a break, right? And they said, yo, let's just talk about this. Why are we so angry? And we're going into round six. Come on, fellas.

Come on, my dude. Ten seconds. That guy, fellas. Come on, my dude. Ten seconds. That guy's done. Left hook. A couple more hits on Mockaboo. I think he's done. Yeah. Oh, he's wobbly, too.

He's been wobbly for two rounds now. That shot did affect him. That shot did affect him, even though it looked like he chipped. Look, look. He just stepped back. He can't even. Yeah, it's not a huge arena, is it? It doesn't look like it.

There you go. You were asking what he's doing. There you go. Talking to his dad. Just trying to stay hyped. Right. I mean. You don't get too hyped.

I wonder if he's like. Right. Thinking that. You know, he knows what people are going to watch this and think what he's doing is strange. Yeah. So he stops and he's doing is strange. Yeah. So he stops and he's like, okay, I want ice,

but I opened up the lid like five minutes ago. I want ice, but I don't want people to, should I just leave the lid? Like, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to get some ice.

Cause it'd be weird if I just left the lid open. It's like, his life is so terrible. Other than the millions of dollars, he has to think about everything he does. And then he makes it worse. He does even weirder things than what you thought he was going to do. Why does he pour it out?

I mean, I guess he wants the water out. It's watered down. But the length of time. But it's not even that bad. I don't drink alcohol. Yeah. But watered down whiskey is not that bad. Yeah, it's not a big deal to me.

But I can see why he doesn't though. All right, let's see. You're not burning cows, just pacing nervously, are you? Not even nervous. Look at him. He's so fucking poised. He's ready. See, you can't have big muscles.

Tommy's upper body, like his shoulders and arms are huge. He a magician he's built like a stingray he's a magician built like a stingray i did not expect he pulled out a thing of hail he pulled out a giant hail what does he do what does he think of this stuff and not addressing it well obviously when but i'm surprised he hasn't said anything. I wonder if he's traditionally said anything about the ice and we've missed it. That is a randomly shaped ice. Cube of ice, but really it's a circle. Yeah.

Like you'd get in a nice restaurant. Yeah. I need circle ice. You can make those. They sell those little things that you can encase the water, and it makes the ice for you. Right. Yeah, that makes sense. All right, let's see this.

I don't have, like, a big muscle. So it may slow you down, but. The show is an entertaining show for YouTube, but he really treats it like a bunch of guys just sitting around getting drunk watching it. Also, too, as an editor myself, shout out to Minimum Sky for the hand thing on the last too, as an editor myself, shout out to Minimum Sky for the hand thing on the last clip and then this clip,

the selection of where the camera's at. Great, great, great chef. Yeah, he really, he prepared a spicy, a few spicy dishes. A couple of spicy dishes. You know, he took risks. He took chances and they paid off. Alright, so the next clip is going to be,

now we get into the Howie Mandel podcast, which I saved these all for the show. I haven't seen any of these. Right. So the next clip is going to be, now we get into the Howie Mandel podcast, which I saved these off for the show. I haven't seen any of these. Right. So there might be some, I mean, make a couple of cuts here. Cause I might've picked the same clip twice,

but this one's posted by El Pochi one. It's called slob getting roasted by Howie for his giant denim vagina. Be cool. Howie. Yeah. Be cool. The tag on this is Huevos Rancheros. I forgot about that.

I always remember Pico de Gallo. Carne Sala. Carne Sala. But I forget about Huevos Rancheros. All right, here we go. All for that. No. I'm going to get you.

Oh, there. Oh, there are net advance. Look at that. There's a picture of that. That was me on the fighter and the kid. And that's- I'm not good with fashion. I'll sit here. No. they are. Look at that. There's a picture of that. That was me on the fighter and the kid. I'm not good with fashion. I'll sit here. No, and I'll get you guys.

We have some. I was wearing it the other day. It's great. Why didn't you give me? I've done stuff with you. I haven't launched my merch yet. The fighter stuff. Okay.

No one's given Howie merch, man. We didn't get the same merch. It was actually the last time Brendan was here, but for Logan's, he had a fashion moment go viral. Oh. Do you remember that? I did see that. With who, Mike? No, when you were on Logan Paul's podcast, you had a camel toe.

Oh, my goodness. You had a camel toe. Remember that? Yeah, I've seen that before. That is wild. So can we establish now whether you know or not, is that not Photoshopped? I don't know. It might be Photoshopped, yeah. Bro,, or not, is that not Photoshopped? I don't know. It might be Photoshop.

Yeah, bro. I don't know if that's because that might just be a screen grab from the actual podcast. This is a warning to never wear pants like this. Yes. Skinny jeans. This should skinny jeans should die with this. Yeah. You know, or also a warning not to work your backside.

You know, he's got fat cheeks right here, dude. You know what I mean? Like me, I have, I got chicken legs. I'm completely fine with that because I can sit like this and not have that fucking plumpness show. You know what I mean? Jeez. Yeah, this looks like he's going out to the club looking for a man. Somebody

going out tonight. Oh, really, dude? Are you slanging or sucking? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see here. No, I don't. That's what you have. What do you call that? A moose knuckle?

A moose knuckle. That's just my nuts. That's in this room. That's me nuts. That's me nuts. That's a vagina. Those jeans are denim vagina. No, those are big nuts. Big nuts.

Those are big nuts. That's a denim vagina. No, that's my nuts split like that. You know what the problem is? The jeans are too tight. No, that's not the problem. No, that what the problem is? The jeans are too tight. No, that's not the problem. No, that is a problem.

I know where you're going. One of the problems. Brendan is right. You know, give him credit when he's due, dude. 100% big problem there, dude. A small problem. It's a pretty big problem, dude. I mean, there's nothing. It's a problem that he has no penis or testicles.

Oh, really, dude? Or he has two dicks sticking out the both sides there, dude. I don't know. What is going on? Let's see. My nuts are too big. That's not where you're going. What size shoes do you wear? 13. Well, you know what that means?

That means you have a giant vagina. They always say your shoe size is the size of your vagina and that went viral this shows you how little i pay attention you didn't know that went viral no no you can make a shirt out of that i don't pay attention granny look at good douche man howie mandel good douche to you sir and you know what's crazy is that i believe Brendan that he had no clue about that. Yeah,

it's possible because Mark said that he just like doesn't look at anything. Yeah. And if you tell him you stuff, you get in trouble.

Yeah. Crazy. Well, this next one is posted by the donka donk shout out another one by them. It's called

Brenda talks about leaving E on his own accord cut to him on Waluigi pod detailing why he was fired. Okay. I have seen this one out of all the clips today. Definitely.

Like hosting. You like hosting television. You've been doing television too. Yeah. I've done a bunch of television. You still working for Bravo? No. No.

Left Bravo. It was interesting because I left E because I used to do the pre and post shows for like the Grammys and Oscars and stuff like that. And the Grammys were on last night and we were watching the pregame stuff, that show I used to do. Right. Yeah, I can't believe I used to do that stuff. It was a great experience. But you left on your own?

I left on my own. Yeah. Why? a great experience but you left on your own or left on my own yeah why yeah um especially at the time i was just uh i was getting you're betting on yourself it's not a sad thing a sad thing no not 100 let's see stand-ups as tough as it gets i really want to focus on that that was taken away from other stuff that I owned. I didn't know the ceiling. The ceiling on that I thought was, I don't know where to go with that.

I used to, and I worked for E! I used to host the Oscars, do all the red cards for the Oscars, the Grammys. Yeah, man. Really? I got fired because little Uzi Vert walked by and I made fun of his outfit, lit him up, and everyone was laughing. The producer was like, uh-uh, dude, because he wouldn't do the interview. He was like, nah, fuck that guy. I was like, okay. And then I go, you're

fired. Is it possible that his memory is just horrible? Yes. It's just really bad. Great observation. Because it happens so much. Yes. It's almost like you wouldn't lie that much.

Yeah. Also like, i don't know when i watched that i'm like yeah okay he's first of all redacted let's the answer to all this is that he is very very very very brain dumb right uh and that's that honestly like if you deduce it more it's like maybe he was trying to be funny by saying that he roasted what's his name a little ozy vert right and also it speaks to what mark harley said which is you know shout out Maybe he was trying to be funny by saying that he roasted. What's his name? Lil Uzi Vert. Lil Uzi Vert. Right. And also it speaks to what Mark Harley said, which is,

you know, shout out. What is it called? He's our North star. It speaks to what he said that it's always making him look good. So. Right. If he's roasting Lil Uzi Vert,

he doesn't mind getting fired because he did it for this cool comedian reason. You know, there's like a news story. Rapper Lil Uzi Vert goes to prison after killing Brendan. There's no way that happened. What would even roast him? How does Brendan roast?

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if it was around, you know, Lil Uzi Vert got that fucking diamond in his face. Well, I mean, Brendan dresses really crazy.

Yeah. Right. So I would think he'd look at somebody like little Uzi vert and be like, Oh, I see. I like that. No, whatever he wears probably dressed similar.

I have no idea. Yeah. To quote the great JT par throwing piss from a piss house. Right. Yeah. All right. Next clip. This one's posted by cool guy.

One, two, three, four, five. It's called Bapa bombs makes everyone think, what are we doing here? Which I like saying in my everyday life i don't know about you all the time let's see what happens i think showing brendan's vagina on this podcast would monetize it would demonetize don't you think

youtube's going to demonetize that we show the vagina i don't think so it's kind of a woke movement you don't know my pronouns. Yeah. No, that was beautiful. All right. This podcast. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. The utter silence is great.

Oh, my God. Well said by saying nothing. Move on. Move on, the producer. Move on. Move on. Cut. Cut. Next segment. move on, move on to producer, move on, move on, cut, cut next segment. But what's crazy,

like 10 people producing this. I know. Yeah. And also the producing, it's like, you have so many people in the room. Everyone's looking the same way. How is looking off to the left?

Listen, I'm a producer, right? I was looking off to the left. Brendan's looking off to the left. Also the worst produced show of all time, to be honest really yes it's weird because that you i think that they have 10 people there because they know shop is going to be

there and they know like they need to help out yeah it's the all hands on deck kind of situation when baba comes in imagine the 10 people one of them is rogan is shorty pie minimum sky it's filled with chang chefs all right guys get guys, get ready. Make sure you clip everything. Haphazard's in there, dude. Working sound. It's the any given Sunday speech with Al Pacino beforehand. We fight for that itch.

All right. So this one's also posted by cool guy. One, two, three, four, five, who is also in attendance producing the show.

It's called Howie roast Bapa, but B takes it as a compliment. You have two boys and a girl, and then you're going to stop there. I mean, I'd like to keep going, but my wife's a hater, so we'll see. She's a hater of pregnancy. Yes. Does she have a rough pregnancy?

Yeah, she gets really sick. So I'm telling her, let's just do twins. If you're only doing it one more time, let's do twins. Right, if it's rough for you, why don't you push two through there? You might as well. You are so sensitive, and that's wonderful what you're able to give to her. She's had a rough pregnancy where she just pushed out one little guy. Let might as well. You are so sensitive and that's wonderful what you're able to give to her. She's had a rough pregnancy

where she just pushed out one little guy. Let's do two. And then another little guy, you said, hey, I hear you. Why don't we ingest you with two babies at once?

So you'd only be doubly as sick. Yes. It would be doubly as hard. What was her problem? She got sick or? You know, some women just have

bad pregnancies. She's always sick, throwing up nonstop. None of the medications work. So twin ought to help that. Yeah. I love that. We'll see. If I said I was a bad husband, you would agree.

I make my wife have twins. She said she has a horrible childbirth. I get you very sick. I get you very sick. These are my children. Yeah. I take your children, B. And I twin it up. I make you very sick. These are my children. I take your children, B. And I twin it up.

I make you very sick. Alright, so the next clip is going to be posted by NoCauliflower4577. It's called Logan Paul, great buddy of mine. Alrighty, let's see what this is about.

Logan, Paul. Good buddy of mine, yeah. Yeah's see what this is about. Logan. Good buddy of mine, yeah. We gotta go to dinner. Wait, right now? A 42 minute boys only episode? Is that how long? We gotta go to dinner, bro. Yeah, sorry.

What a way to end a podcast. Sorry, I'm hungry. You are horrible. You do YouTube? Oh, okay. You're releasing it on YouTube? You're Steve. Do those pants fit you?

Do you want to get more pants? Do you want to do a change of wardrobe? Because you have a vagina right now. We know they don't have a team of producers. There's nobody watching out seven times. Prashad's man, Jaina. Hey,

Brendan, do you have a vagina or are your balls huge? How are those the two options? I don't, if I were him, I'd hire a handler just to make sure I never have that happen again. Yeah. That's what Joe Rogan was meant by it.

He's like, yeah, he saw that photo. He needs a fashion handler. He definitely needs that. All right. So this one's posted by Rucky M and it's called Howie trolls. Brendan controversy seems to follow you. Brendan deflects the hate onto everyone else. Dicey dicey.

Let's see what this is about on chris delia you know santino callan rogan joey diaz all these great comics so being around that trying to keep up with it's like my training camp for stand-up and you uh what about controversy controversy seems to follow you a lot unfortunately unfortunately. Unfortunately. So you don't stir it up. I hate it. No, I hate it. Notice I never entertain it. I don't like to entertain it. I don't.

People will take shots at me nonstop. It'll get them views. But notice, it's very rare you'll see me entertain that. I don't like that. I don't like negativity. I'm a positive person. So I don't. There's enough negativity in the world.

So I don't hate anybody. I have no issues with anybody. They may have issues with me. And I get it, especially when enough negativity in the world. So I don't hate anybody. I have no issues with anybody. They might have issues with me. And I get it, especially when it comes to the standup world, because I came from UFC where I had a fan base. I come over to. You know, that views thing. What was that?

It sounds like a shot at us, you know? And if you wanted to hurt me, you hurt me, brother. Yeah. I still consider you a friend, but wow. Well, you're more than welcome to come on the show. But if you wanted to hurt us you heard us yeah you know we'll take five minutes before we go to the next all right so this next one is uh posted by altruistic mistake

we already saw this it's called Oh Boppa. It's a flyer for one of his shows, and it's called Thick Whale with three Cs, live at Brea, Oklahoma City, Tacoma. But yeah, it's supposed to be Brendan Frazier from The Whale. Damn, come as the chef. I didn't realize that was altruistic mistake that did that. Yeah.

The thick whale is coming to a city near you. I think, is that really posted by Brendan Schaub? What do you mean? Did Schaub really post this poster? Oh, dude, I just noticed that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, he probably did. Let me, I'll look into it right now.

I mean, if this is a deep fake Photoshop by Altruistic Mistake, that's really impressive. but I think he just probably saw it and posted it. Well, what is your guttural reaction to seeing that? Just that it's funny. I don't know. Oh, it is. It really is. He really posted that. Seven times a week. This looks like a guy that does

eat tater tots like one time a week or whatever. It looks like Brendan post Adderalls. I'm on keto bitch. I'm on too many taquitos. It's like, I look at that and my guttural reaction is my bad. Mr.

Whole foods. That's so funny. The man that he was talking to when he said that eating nachos. Uh, all right. So this was posted by the donkey donk. The title is Howie. What is the goal?

What you want to want to want to do what you wanted to do the donkey donk. Come on. Yeah. Uh, Brenda, if I could be a fraction as successful as you are, man,

Howie, what is success? Brenda doing theaters. Cause beast of a dad, you know, what is the goal? What do you want to do? That's a great

question i know let's hear a great answer yeah uh i you know i don't if i could be a fraction as successful as you are man i'd be happy but you know um what is success great question i don't another great question yeah uh success to me would be doing theaters. So I don't miss any of my son's sports. So, you know, he's a big athletic kid. So when he starts playing like real football, I don't want to miss those Friday nights. Is that what? So that my first year last night. Oh, David Lucas. If you wanted to hurt him, you hurt him, dude. That's rough. Yeah. Your opener is selling out. Yeah. Theaters. Not you, Bob.

Damn. Yikes. Dicey dicey. At least it's not Randy Feldface, I guess. Yeah. I mean, he's probably doing theaters, though. Yeah. But Howie doesn't, I don't feel like Howie likes Brendan. He roasts him a lot.

Yeah. But, I mean, it's entertaining, so he probably likes that. Kind of like us. True. You know, we roast him, but we also enjoy. Yes. All he probably likes that kind of like us. True. You know, we roast him, but we also enjoy. Yes.

All the stuff that he does. The content B. Yeah. All right. So this one's posted by Ricky. It's called Brendan proclaims. He makes good money podcasting. How he says he doesn't.

All right. Let's see what this is about. Comedy. Or you got into podcast. Yes. You guys got into podcasting pretty early yeah fine kids been going almost 11 years now before everyone and their aunt had a podcast and now you know there's no barrier to entry so now it's just blown up blown up but having been there that long you kind of established roots like nobody else is it good it's probably great money it's good money yes yeah i i'm not making great money doing this i don't care about money oh how he's not

making a lot of money doing it i guess hmm that's probably why he's got bapa on dude he knows the views come with just more money talk i don't care you know it's just boring why do these guys what these celebrities are obsessed with talking about how well they're doing at the show. Yeah. Except, I mean, how he says he doesn't care about it. He's just doing it for fun. Yeah. That's probably why he shows better. It's like, I mean, I don't watch it myself, but I assume it's better if he just does makes fun of people. I enjoy it. I enjoy him making fun of shopaub. Well, I'll tell you a guttural reaction to watching how he show maybe like a year ago when Norm MacDonald passed away.

It was not that good. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Oh, well. But I don't matter. This one's posted by Schlaub. It's called Boppa again poorly retelling Toe's flight story and passing it off as his own.

Dicey, dicey. Let's see what this is about. Like I was on a plane and there's this unruly passenger. Oh, here we go. And the flight attendant goes, hey, so if he keeps going, are you cool? Could we ask you for help? And I was like, sure. If it gets like stage five red terror level here i'll help you guys out but hopefully

i don't have to do anything what what does that look like okay you got big drunk guy on delta flight 907 to madden get peanuts or something like that yeah what does that look like the the stewardess or the flight attendant goes okay go yeah i'd be right right now yeah okay you're you're right i'm right in the middle of watching Bridges of Madison County. Can we do it when the movie's over? What does it look like when you get up and you have to deal with a guy? What's the, take us through it. I go through it in my head.

I guess, because you don't want to, A, I don't want to get hurt. B, I don't want to hurt them. It's like a cross-examination almost with Brendan when he tells stories. Because he says something and then the person's like, so what actually happened? Are you lying? Also, I'm thinking in my head of this story, and he's so known for being bad at comedy.

That's almost what he's most known for at this point. I imagine if I'm the flight attendant and I go up to him, I've got to be like, hey, Mr. Schaub, I'm not going to make fun of you for your comedy. I just need you. There's an unruly passenger. And again, I don't want to think,

I don't want you to think I'm shitting on you. Listen, I work at Chang's. I'm homeless, but I, it's not, your comedy is terrible and you're an embarrassment to human beings, but that has nothing to do with what I'm talking to you about.

I need you to go. If that guy gets really crazy, can you do something about it? But at no point, make a joke. Listen, I know you have a pussy dude. I seen the picture. I know you have a vagina. I know you're a bad father. Listen, I understand you hate Crocs. I know you hate Crocs. I know you don't like George Gascon. Listen, I may shop at Whole Foods, but I need you to help me out if anyone gets unruly.

I swear I'm not Kamala Harris, but I would love it if you would help me with this passenger because you're a big guy. That's all you're really good at. Listen, I understand your team is terrible with COVID mandates, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their team messes things up all the time. It's usually their fault, but could you help me out with this passenger,

please? It's just not going to suit me. So I would probably wrestle him to the ground and wrestle him into the seat and then choke him unconscious. These two guys were fighting and they were thinking about removing the guys from the plane because one guy had put his bag above this other guy's seat. And the other guy goes, hey man, that's for my seat. And he's like, no, it's first

come, first serve. And he's like, no, fuck you. And then they were like, fuck you, no, fuck you. And then the lady had to come in and go, hey, hey, I will fucking kick both of you guys off the plane. This is before you took off? Before we took off. She goes, do we have an understanding? And they go, yeah. And then she comes to me and she goes, hey, if anything goes down, you're going to help, right? She deputized you?

She deputized me. I'm like, okay. What do you want me to do? Yeah. Fire technique goes, hey, so if he keeps going, are you told to be asking for help? Sure. Anything you can be. We're getting out of here. hat, since it's upside down, it's just like, it was so embarrassed.

They wanted that was on shop's head that it went upside down. Oh, come on. It's so funny, dude. But yeah, we cut it before the movie clip because, you know what I mean? We don't want to get gadooshed. Bend pixels, B. They'd be bending them pixels. Yep.

All right, so this next one's posted by Toronto Rapture. It's called, If You Eever Feel Slightly Bad for Brenda, Just Watch This Clip, B. I think I have seen this one. know i have her you know what this one was so clickbaity for me that i purposely waited to watch this clip i'm trying is this this isn't the one where he talks about brian's uh show getting canceled i have a different one i think as i know i haven't seen this i have no clue i can't believe it i'm just saying i'm so proud i didn't even have to make it myself. Why's she using that British accent?

I don't know. I think she suffers from mental illness. There's a reason she doesn't have her children. That's such a bummer. Extremely manic. I just want you to know if I show up. And we all know that Brendan's a beast of a dad. A beast of a dad.

On my Instagram, do not call the cops. Don't ever be a rollercoaster. What? Isn't she rich? That's a poor person's fan in the back. I had that growing up. That's an old school fan. That's such an old school fan.

It's really sad, man. So her fans are the ones that called cops to do a, you know, what do you call it? Something check. I just want to real quick. The way that they're watching the Spears clip is the way we watch Shop Clips.

With kind of like utter horror, but also a little bit of glee. This is becoming reaction inception, dude. Yeah. Alright, let's see what else happens. She needs something. Yeah. She seems all right, but the fan bun. No, it's such a bummer.

That's something going on in her brain. And my guess is, like you said, is like, you know, she had. It's exactly like what we do. It's making me feel a little bit redacted. But at the same time, I don't think the spirits clip from what I saw, I just heard being wacky. Yeah. So let's see.

Let's see therapist Brian, what he has to say. This conservatorship, which was what it was, but you kind of go, they might've known things we didn't know. Is that fair? Right? Like you see that and you go... The dad's like, okay, I'm done. You guys want to make me have to be the villain't know. Is that fair? Right? Like you see that. And the dad's like, okay,

I'm done. You guys want to make me have to be the villain. Okay. Let her post. See what happens. You see what I'm saying? Do you know every Thursday she's pretend she's British and pretend she's on a roller coaster. Brendan is my favorite comedian of all time.

It's so funny, dude. Not on purpose. It dude not on purpose it's not on purpose whatsoever yeah but okay you know she does this every thursday brian's like every once in a while you just have to tell women what to do you know maybe stay off this topic, buddy. Just conservatorship. I call it a conservatorship. Other people call it other things, you know? Oh my God. It's so funny how this has become softball to Brendan.

He's like, Oh, I could hit homers right now, dude. You know? Oh, like with his bits, you mean? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He's like, Oh, a fucking mentally insane person. I've got this. Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, a fucking mentally insane person? I've got this, bro. Well, Brendan's the king of calling stuff exactly what he thinks it is.

Like if somebody is crazy, obviously, oh, they're crazy wheelchair people, the guy, the governor in a wheelchair. Oh, have you seen he's in a wheelchair? I mean. Sucked to be that guy. I love the premise was something like, my problem with him is he's in a wheelchair i mean it's not to be that i love the premise was something like my problem with him is he's in a wheelchair yeah what

all right let's see some more comedic genius she's a fucking millionaire but uses that fan from cvs bitch i mean whatever the case there's stuff you know she has a fridge stocked of black carrot i don't like the way you're not being very kind no i mean what are you gonna do she's clearly fucking crazy that's all i can do nothing you can do it's not about being kind it's what it is it's it's it's just like fucking but she wants out of the conservative conservatorship yeah she's out who gives a fuck yeah nothing we can do that that's not that's manic that there that is so clearly what you worry about is you know her hurting herself so that was from tmz i don't know if they clipped or that was clipped on her but it was deleted i think so that's why i don't know exactly there's no editing

in the world you make her look not great no no that looks crazy energy drink and a diet coke that's a lot you love shitting on people that suck. That what? I just, I think it's so funny. I don't know why. It's, it's like punching. This is purely punching down comedy. Yeah.

And that's always bad as a comedian. Try not to punch down. Right. Right. Right. But it's so funny when you see it. It's funny because he, it's all he knows to do. Yeah. Like Mark said, that's kind of exactly what Mark said. Right. Right. But it's so funny when you see it. It's funny. Cause he, it's all he knows to do.

Yeah. Like Mark said, that's kind of exactly what Mark said. Yeah. This is his car. All he doesn't really understand joke structure. He just, he just like see somebody with one leg and he's like,

Oh really dude. All right. I think there's like 14 clips, seconds left. Nice man. Don't be a rollercoaster. And so this is the last one. Does she not get to see her

kids or what i don't know the details on those like once a month at chucky cheese some shit damn so this is oh my god the leg shake at the end once a month at chucky cheese okay we get it dude stick to the stick to the fucking just i guess the character that he made of her dad was hilarious to me and also the fan bit was kind of funny. But then when he says the fan like four times more, it's like, all right, you know, next joke, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're going to punch down, do it.

Right. Anyways, that was amazing. Let's go to the next clip. All right. So this next one's called, Scrub is called out for having a swollen face posted by haphazard dude. I've seen this one. I haven't seen this yet.

Let's see. Yes. Yeah. Hey, what? Hey, what? I'm educating on my buddy here.

Nope. What? You're a little swollen in the facey pacey. Oh, I had carbs last night. A little, some booze. No,

it's okay. Cause I did. No, not at night. No, no, no carbs. Do that no no carbs do that carbs do this why do you get yeah you get well i've been on carnivore then oh you retain some water

you ate a lot of pizza no what'd you do uh carbs a lot of salt it's just mediterranean okay he doesn't want to see this so you're a little congested in the old facial area how it goes so are you you know well but this is you've been very very tight in the face and today you look like a chipmunk that's how it goes who's eating acorns that's how storing acorns right it goes okay i'm gonna jump on brett's back now because that's what rodents do yeah so wait this is so man he got really uncomfortable there yeah this seemed real brian was like i'm gonna uh confront him about whatever's going on nicotine pouch god knows what he's doing enough and then he's and then he just says

mediterranean he takes a long time to say what it is yeah and the way he says no for the pizza thing that's how you know he's lying about something i don't know what's going on yeah honestly too brian go further dude you know i mean don't let up's going on. Yeah. Honestly, too. Brian, go further, dude. You know what I mean? Don't let up. Be the villain of the episode, Brian. You've been the villain before. Dicey dicey, dude. Play the role you were born. Yeah.

If you're going to be the villain, be the villain seven days a week. Yeah. Seven times a week. Yeah. Papa. Come on. But I would just say. People go, what are we doing here?

Yeah. Right. Just say, fuck the guests make the guests leave and just keep going in on brendan don't be cool don't be cool don't be cool not here okay mr whole foods all right so now we get into just random clips yeah that was the tfac k clips today's uh random clip section is from a shitterroat Slitter. Again, come on, dude. It's the name, dude. Your name, your name gadooshes me every time. Yeah.

It's just so, I feel so bad saying it, but this one's called The Fight We Wanted But Never Got. It looks like Mike Tyson. Before you put, here's the thing, like if there was any blowback from being on this subreddit. Yeah. And like talking about this stuff, or maybe it went to court somehow

when the lawyer was like and shit or throat splitter was something that you constantly played we'd have no comeback to that. Yeah we'd be like it would seem so bad. Like alright guilty dude like what do you want me to say? Great clips. Great clips. Great work chef. Great chef. Food is amazing.

The name can change. Spicy dishes. Spicy spicy. We can tell you've been working. When you, like, get too drunk, you forget it's on the grill, and that bitch turn black, that's me. I'm done. I'm overcooked and done. You done? I'm done, though.

You officially retired. Man, I retired two years ago almost. Never coming back. I ain't coming back. Hey, you big, fat, dumb nigga. Get your shit together. You big, fat mother. You a fat, lazy motherfucker.

All right. Bubba Watson. Hey, Gary big fat mother. You're a fat, lazy motherfucker. All right. Bubba Watson. Hey, Gary. Why don't you just go ahead and spit in his face? That guy right there. That's my mind. Fuck with me, nigga. Wow.

We got Bubba Wallace, NASCAR legend. Oh, my God. Great host work, Brendan. Yeah, right. Why is Mike Tyson standing in front of him, staring him down? I don't know, but I like it.

It has drama to the show. Yeah. That was desperately needed. All right. So for today's second random ass clip, it's posted by Ryan Joseph, 82. Shout out.

Yeah. It's called Joey Diaz thinks Brendan was given too much, too fast. He was dropping. Lee was starting comedy. And I was very happy for him. But I didn't want him to become a Brendan Schaub. Like, for people to go after Brent.

Like, I didn't want people to go after Lee how they went after Brendan. I appreciate what Brendan did. But at the end of the day, a lot of you people are right. He was given too much too fast. I love Brendan. I'm not saying nothing bad about him. What happened was that you don't react well

to that when you're a young comic. You don't, guys. All that up front in the third or second year is not healthy for anybody. Nobody should have success ever.

Yeah. Unless you suck my dick for five minutes in the belly room. Yeah, belly room in the 90s, maybe. But if you get success,

I like the Joey clips where he's like talking about how he doesn't know anybody. That's something I fear. I've never met Brendan in my life. At least I don't know him. I don't know him. Brian Kelly, never heard of him. Never. I met him a few times, you know. Yeah. I will say this though, you know, being in comedy,

there is some truth to people that you're around. You don't really know a lot of them. Yeah. It seems like you're friends, but you're just on shows with them. Yeah. Ian Russo, no clue who that is. That's my skits and bits. When you talk about Russo, that's my skits and bits. All right. All right. It's time for the last clip. The last clip is posted by Dangerous Design 507. It's called Somebody Get Bapa Some Adderall. Adderdraw. Adderdraw.

Not a draw, B. Let's see. You don't seem to have a lot of energy. You did take shrooms? Did you? You can't take shrooms. We have to do a podcast. You can't take one, dude.

No, I don't have Adderall. You can't take Adderall. You'll die. No Adderall. It's a roller coaster. No, dude. No, you just talked. I sit there.

Here we go. Here we go. You got Cialis? Yes. Dick juice. Brendan, why are your eyes red, dude? Callan? That's like, yeah, that's

the question to me. Actually, are you high? No, I'm just in poor health. I'm just on shrooms. Adderall, dig juice. I'm surprised shrooms. Yeah. Because Mark was saying that he wouldn't take shrooms and made fun of Callan for taking them.

It might have been a cheeky joke, though, because he's like, I took one. You know? Yeah. Bad stuff. Let's see. There he goes. Look, he's all loose. All leaning to one side.

That's it. Oh, he's got my shirt. You can't take all things. Well, they're gummies. They're candy. I know, but my chimp told me they're just candy. You can't do that before the show

just not funny at all but yeah I wouldn't he probably did take a lot of shit though because he says he drinks all the kratom and all the dick juice

and all that shit whiskey kratom dick juice Adderall how's he alive I don't know that stuff is not good for you

all of it together like that definitely not he's got to go to a doctor and check out otherwise he's got like he you know maybe we're looking at this wrong because the wrongest babe ruth everyone's like man i can't believe he drank all that and ate all that and still went out and hit all those home runs yeah maybe that's what bapa is doing right Like he's not doing great athletic feats. The worst. Yeah. He's doing the most redacted material we've ever seen,

but I'm in, I'm impressed that he's able to do all that on all that stuff. Yeah. I don't know what Kratom does to you. There's a debate in the comments about whether they're good or not. Do the people that write that it's good say weird stuff too? Yes. You know,

it's funny. Whenever I see those comments, scroll. Why are all the long comments, you could just automatically think to yourself Kratom. It's about Kratom, dude. A lot of the long comments are someone who seems insane defending the use of Kratom

and also more pushing me towards Kratom is bad for you. No normal people are like, it's never like, it was a few where they're like hey man kratom is actually pretty normal and here's why but those are the minority most of them are like hey moron kratom's not heroin well then why do people say it is you know what people don't say like coke or tylenol or heroin why do they say kratom is? Sorry, I'm going to trust the science on this one. Sorry, Fauci. Mr. Whole Foods.

All right. That's our show. Have a great week. Bye. The greatest.