10 Minutes of Schaub - JUSTICE FOR TANK | 10 Minutes of Schaub #31

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Thirty-first episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Well I heard it all before When I saw you at the store I'm redacted and a loser So I don't need no accuser To try and gadoosh me down Because I know you're right So go do Trash Tuesdays Herd Esther goes both ways You may find out that your color gets the most views on your podcast You can't go watching something if there's just no shop No time to read

the comments around cause you know where I'll be found walk me to my truck what take stop at my favorite time of the week when you get near

papa try to speak surprise us today you better actually watch 10 minutes of Shab welcome back to 10 minutes of Shab join the discord we also started a patreon where we did 10 minutes

segment on not reading the comments on social media so if you're interested, check that out. But that's not why you're here. No. You are here for 10 minutes of shop. So start the clips now. All righty.

Well, happy new year. And this next clip is from Houseless Gato. It's titled, What's Going On With Your Dog? Once not, you got to pair them up right. What's going on with your dog? You know. Yeah. It's all good with your dog? You know. Yeah. Dogs are dogs, man.

Dogs are dogs. They're a lot harder in some ways than quirps. That's a good question. That's a good question that's brought up in our Discord. What is going on with the dog? The Reddit is going crazy about Tank. Is Tank the name of the dog? I think Tank is a new dog.

Okay. I didn't see that part. I just saw they posted. Or an old dog. Tank's an old the dog i think tank is a new dog okay i didn't see that part i just saw they posted old dog tank's an old dog justice for tank is a hashtag that's good good work cats um somebody said that he's already he gave like two dogs back in a leak or something like that like he got a dog and then he returned the dog you imagine it would like i would struggle with returning i've never returned a dog i did have one i've only had one dog but i wouldn't i would be like heartbreaking to return a dog to rescue two dogs i assume they're rescue i don't know that's uh especially with shab and all his like

pixar shit he's like in all these he's an animal guy you know even like sharks he knows about snakes blackfish blackfish he's a big most of his stand-up has something to do with animals but you know he has no qualms i guess just giving these dogs back unhoused dogs homeless dogs homely yeah i'll tell you it's a homeless cat but really it's homeless dogs if you're going to shop's house i don't know if you want to look at it but uh there's been a bunch of posts about tank sure all right let me open this tank this like the big dog that they were saying is not good for kids uh i don't know about this he got this like dog that's specifically not good to be around kids i didn't know that yeah he has like two kids so so if we

look here at the top posts of the week for this week you'll see here that justice for tank yeah i think well i don't know i don't know if that's it or not. I don't know. Is that tank? Well, I mean, I don't know if that's the big dog. It was some breed of dog that's not good to be around children. So missing dog, name tank, color brown. Last seen December 7th.

More info, purchased, irresponsibly offended Mexican. Oh, yeah, it's not safe for the Chambis. That's probably the same dog oh okay well i don't know much about this uh this dog but i like the hashtag though yeah maybe this this this um episode should be justice for tank yeah we want justice for tank all right so this next clip is titled brennan schwab once again mentions his subreddit calls the people on the reddit awful people Ouch, but who's that by? Oh, it's posted by quite

retentious But have you met people they're awful they do awful shit. Yeah, I talk about it. Not all people. Yeah. Yeah You ever been to my subreddit keep going i i i yeah no but it's awful if people do awful shit so have you made his butt and he's like yeah that's yeah my subreddit yeah you know you know what i've been through i like how he does that and then everyone's like oh shit he's gonna talk about this and they all pause and all right anyways back to what we were saying man Man, he left us wanting more. Yeah. It's almost like he watched our video we did earlier

about blowing up on social media. Leave him wanting more. But yeah, man, that was really good. I was like, ears popped, ready to listen to Shaw, but then that's it. Just a little taste, you know? He's the master of that. Black bussa.

All right, so this one's pretty popular this is my favorite clip of the week so far oh yeah i heard about this but i didn't watch the clip oh you didn't i know i haven't seen the clip yet it's uh it was this one transcended t-fat k he calls namar niedermeyer right yeah terrible guess not only that but he also says they were they play in the english premier league this is not true oh okay well let's yeah let's watch all right here it goes by the way my friends have been laughing at how bad you are with names the worst you were talking about niedermeyer which is neymar neymar and you were talking about all and you said all of them are on the same team yes they were like that's not true they were

laughing so hard my my brother-in-law and my my love soccer they're huge soccer fans they're like dude they were laughing so hard. Oh, that's it. It actually made the rounds on TikTok. Good. So it's marijuana. Good. Also, it is true that they all play on the same team.

What he said is true. But they don't play in the English Premier League. They play in France. Oh, well, that's going to the country versus states be. He's not going to... Oh, yeah, you're right. I should know better. I should know better.

There's no way he's going to know the difference between different countries. But that's not the clip where he actually says Niedermeyer. They're just kind of talking about it. Let me try to find it. Who does Neymar play for? I don't know anything about soccer either. Paris Saint-Germain in League One in France.

Okay, see, I don't know soccer leagues. But yeah, I was going to say Niedermeyer is the guy from Animal House. He's like the jerk that is in ROTC and is a dick or whatever, which I wonder if that's where Schaub is getting it from. I saw a bunch of clips about people who do soccer abroad were saying that Americans were stupid because of Schaub. So Schaub is now giving the United States a bad name

just for being so redacted. I like how this is NSFW. This clip is NSFW. They got some good touches on Arsenal's Southman. Good work. Arsenal's Southman posted this. Please never talk about football ever again. France, Mbappe.

Another freak. He won the Golden Boot. He won the Golden Boot. Now, you know Messi, Mbappe, and Niedermeyer are all Niedermeyer. It's worse than we thought. And Premier League? 90 million, yeah.

That's so funny. He said Niedermeyer. I don't even think he said Niedermeyer. I think he put needle in there. A random L. I don't know where he got that from. Yeah, Mbappe messing up names will always be a classic moneymaker. You know, it's probably the best part of what they have on Chang's. All right, so this one's posted by Dadonkadonk,

a popular poster in the subreddit. It's called, but do you do wear women's clothing? And your body doesn't even look like that anymore. I look better now. I was going to say you look shape now. Carnivore diet. Dude, you look great. 20 pounds.

Dude, I love that you're great. And you got on a fucking raincoat, dude that has paint on it. Dude, this thing is so New York, man. When I was walking the streets of Howard. Yes. I was just walking down Howard road. And I felt so artsy.

Dude, I know. Cause here's the thing with you. Here's the thing. I also have a fanny pack. And then I'll say, you let me know. Cause you mr new york when i was walking i was wearing this right i tied her jeans on i get the shoes i get the fanny pack i get the diamond necklace and the one i'm like am i getting beat up like and you when you look at you even if i didn't know you you just tell like something's off like i look at you and i just see nothing behind the eyes i'm

just like this guy has been hitting the head a lot. But you do wear women's clothing. That's the thing. It's so- It's a fine line. No, no, but it's not even a fine line. It just, it messes with me. It's like, I'm like, look at that.

I'm like, I can beat the shit out of Brendan. His ankles are out. Dude, so I think you keep people on your toes, which is what I like about you. I'm on my toes all the time. Cause I'm like, he's got a fanny pack, I'll kill him. Do you know what's in the fanny pack? What do we got in there? All sorts of cool shit.

Jeez. Too much Adderall going on in this clip. I think some people have been taking Alpha Brain when they shouldn't. Yeah. And it's not helping. But that, yeah, Shab completely misses that that's an insult. Yeah. He says, but you do wear women's clothing. And then Shab's like, it's a fine line. No, he's saying that there's no line. He says, but you do wear women's clothing and then Schaub's like, it's a fine line.

No, he's saying that there's no line. He's saying that you dress like a crazy person. You have on like a big raincoat that has paint on it. You should explain why there's paint. Are you painting something? Were you painting your pink and green hat? You see Schaub

with a little paintbrush or he's like, he's got the hat out and he's just like painting. Maybe that's why there's the hats are so many different colors. He's just like every night. He's like, no, today the Patriots are going to be a purple. And then all that,

who knows? This is my hat. If I said this was a Padres hat, you would agree. Shout out to the last week's Boppa Plainview episode there. Also, too, somebody said that that's actually sold by the Padres, that hat. Yeah, I saw that comment.

They might be right. I'm redacted. I don't know. It's crazy that that's it. But other hats and stuff, they definitely, he has some strange colors for sure. It's pretty weird how we'll talk shit about his hats, and somebody will be like, Virgil Adelo made that hat. And we were like,

Oh yeah, I forgot. Yeah. The off way. The one with like a cookie bite out of it, dude. I mean, but Bob has so many hats that at least one,

you know, a broken clock is right twice a day. Right. So his hats are going to be every once in a while. They have the right colors on it. I'm starting to sound like I militantly need a hat to be the same thing. I'm realizing that now. Alright, so this one's posted by Carlos

Antonio, 72. It's called A Little Slow Cry to Instantly End the Party Before the New Year. If it's a song, though, I'm just not going to use this clip. I was all alone House feeling rather cold

I need someone to If I still hear it's her So I tried to know the taste Is this Chin singing for real? Yeah, this is Chin singing. Not bad. He's actually way better than me. Is this big boy content?

Or is it just Chin on his it just I think it's just his his Instagram so he just sings I mean I wouldn't post myself just singing yeah someone's song but not bad not bad a lot of pain in the voice yeah you think he's gotten broken up recently no this is making me think like you know what else oh yeah that's why yeah the pain comes from having to watch vlogs all day about getting to work on time. But yeah, I mean, this makes me, you know what this makes me think? What else you got, Chin? Yeah, dude.

Oh, really, dude? Yeah, he understood the assignment. He's like, what else you got, Chin? He's like, I can sing. I got something for the bitches. A lot of people that watch these videos say that we should do a chin r&b song oh yeah yeah i haven't even seen that comment yeah this is a while back but they were it was when chin dropped his last hit of r&b music okay but i don't know if we can i don't know

let it chin let it chin you got somebody talking dumb stuff let it chin let it chin also too if this is edit chin edit chin edit papa talking about soccer right now let it chin you should edit out the part where i say bitches what's it called if this is cut out of the episode it's because uh it's a song yeah of the episode, it's because it's a song. Yeah. Just take a glance and this lovely thing once she was more than enough.

You should probably not wear this Target cardigan. That's my one suggestion. Yeah. Why not? It's whack. Oh, really? Yeah. But who are you, you dude who are you to say i got hey i'm not a stylish guy but i that's looks like something that target would make their employees wear and during the winter but if you close your eyes he he looks fly as fuck, dude. You mean he sounds fly?

He looks fly in your mind when you're hearing this voice. You know what I'm saying? Right? If you say so. Watch. Close your eyes real quick. No, I'm not. And we dance in fairness On a soldier On a soldier

This makes me want to get Chin on one of our songs. He could help us out. He certainly does better than me. Do you think before they all record T-Fat K, they're like, come on, Chin, hit us with an R&B song. He's like, no, no, no, no. Probably not. No?

No. You don't think papa and brian get off to this shit no because they're both redacts oh this is good they would like i don't know some guy talking about alpha brain or some dumb shit well do you think that brian and papa think this is gay they might think it's gay yeah yeah i mean the way that we know their music all we know about their musical stuff is that they think that J-Lo is better than Shakira, which is redacted. Yeah, that's pretty dumb. Okay, so this one's not a clip so much as it is just hilarious, I thought.

Yeah. It's posted by Theoc458, and it's called, The designs that they think will be a hit with their customer base are so hilariously bad. And it is ads from Toehold. Boy, you got to scroll down to show the price, though the price yeah my number's $395 $395 for flip-flops that literally i mean you would not want someone to see you wearing something that says that it says bad motherfucker twice on each shoe that's four times this flip-flop would get demonetized on YouTube. If you want to be demonetized in your real life,

wear toe holds. Also, that's such a stupid name. Flip-flops are fine. Listen, I made fun of flip-flops on the show, but I honestly don't think they're bad. I don't really even think... I don't think fanny packs are bad either. Stop incriminating yourself.

I'm serious. I don't know if I, I don't own either one, but I could see myself with a fanny pack. The only reason I would never wear flip flops is because my feet are gross. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Great point. But other people, if your feet aren't gross and it's like comfortable, I don't see a problem with it. But make sure they're not like that. As long as the flip-flops are $20. I mean, I could see paying a little bit more if it's really comfortable,

if there's a way. I don't know how you make flip-flops comfortable. They just don't feel comfortable on my feet. But I got bad feet, like I said. But this is outrageous. Never pay $400 for flip-flops, especially not Brian Callen. These are my Brian Callen flip-flops. If you're going to pay $400 for flip-flops like, you know,

something like, I don't know, Nordstrom's flip-flops, like a really expensive Gucci flip-flops, something like that. But that's not all chin. Yeah. Do you think they go up in price or stay the same? I think they probably go up. All right, let's see. Bigfoot. Bigfoot. yeah check out do you think they go up in price or stay the same i think they probably go up all right let's see bigfoot bigfoot let people know you're stupid too bigfoot's real and then what

about this one new jujitsu solves everything oh this one's cheaper three so they're 325 is that like a thing where it's like jujitsu, you wear flip-flops around the gym? I know you got to take off totally your shoes when you get on the mats, right? Yeah. But do you wear like flip-flops so it's easier to take them off so you can roll a bit? I don't know. And alongside that, we have a terrible ad-lib commercial by Callahan for his $500 flip-flops that can't get wet, posted by Rogan is Shorty Pie.

Here goes. Is that Brian Callan callan yes it is what are you doing with flip-flops in your back pocket first of all it's not just flip-flops these my friend are toehold flip-flops best flip-flops on planet earth it's raining i don't like wearing my flip-flops in the rain even though i should, I keep them in my back pocket in case I gotta slap the shit out of somebody. Don't like using my bare hand. But I do like walking barefoot. Which is why, again,

I always have a pair of toe holds in my back pocket or where I can reach. Have a good day. Can I get my flip flops wet? Short answer, kind of. Water is used to shape leather when you use when you get leather wet it won't hurt it but it increases its elasticity and reshapes itself for example when your flip-flops get wet and you walk in the straps they'll stretch and stay in

that new position best to keep them dry be rogan a shorty pie should probably work for snl yeah i mean the talent to find this thing on their website and match it with the ad, hilarious. When they said, hold on, is that Brian Callen? It's like, who is it? Is it the cops? Now when Brian, someone recognizes him, it's like 50-50.

Somebody's going to be, oh, I loved you in the hangover versus like, hey, you're a fucking... Redact. Redact. You know what else is sad about that clip is like it's just somebody filming it on their phone you know but he's this big celebrity yeah he's been on tv and he's used to have a huge podcast that's like the way we would do a promo you know we'd get out the street and i'd have lines that i'd maybe forget yeah and that's like what they did for Brian and his thing.

It's the decline of his rise. It's kind of sad to watch. Yeah. I was just thinking about that while we were watching the clip. Yeah. And then the added embarrassment of everybody knows that water is bad for leather. I know that. And I don't know anything about fashion, but I have a leather, or I have a faux leather jacket,

and I don't even wear that in the rain. But you probably can't because it's fake, but I have no idea. I know I wouldn't. Those flip-flops, buying them, you know, they're going to keep you busy, you know, because you're going to have to explain that you bought Brian Kellen flip-flops to people. All right, so this one, this next clip is posted by MinimumSky2305.

It's called Russell Peters Lose My Number B. It looks like some behind-the-scenes action at TFATK here. Here's the other thing about you and me. We get in here when we do a podcast and when everybody else is on vacation.

The rest of my shows are taking time off, but this one can't stop won't stop out because those people those social justice wars whatever like fighting for whatever it's like but you're tweeting it from you're tweeting it you're tweeting it those social he made social justice sound wrong too that makes me never want to talk about cancel culture sjw's again when he says it yeah it's like that steve joke where it's like when the dumbest guy in your friend group agrees with you yeah yikes dicey dicey dicey fighting for whatever it's like but you're tweeting it

from your iphone or android which is horrible come from horrible things well yeah he's one of the good ones. I was doing sets with him last night. Russell Peters, I haven't seen him forever. One of the greats. He's a gearhead. He's a car guy. So we would always talk about cars.

And so I haven't seen him all through the pandemic. He was touring like we were all through the pandemic. I'm like, yeah, I haven't seen him. We've both been on tours. I haven't seen him in years. Give him a big hug. I'm like, talk to me. What cars have you gotten?

He's like, you're going to hate me. I'm like, what? He me like what he's like dude through the pandemic i realized like what am i doing he said i got older i got married quit messing around i get serious sold my house moved in a new house i downsized he's like in all those cars he's like i got rid of them i only have two cars and i went oh wow okay well we have nothing to talk about. So we'll see you later. There's my number. I get it. What would be funny if you went to Schaub's house and instead of actual cars, he just had like a lot of Hot Wheels that he played around with.

He's like, check it out. Look at all the cars I got. That's what he's been talking to us about. Yeah, this whole time is just Hot Wheels stuff. I got a lot of tech decks too. Skateboard. He calls them skateboards. I got a lot of tech decks to skateboard. He calls them skateboards. I got a little finger skateboards. You know,

play real quick. You got time to play chin. Dude. I crashed on my skateboard the other day. Really hurt my fingers. My fingers. That is tiger in Boston. Took my cars again.

Joanna. All right. So this next one's posted by pity. The King could you, uh, this called, he my cars again. Joanna. All right, so this next one's posted by Pity the Kinkajou. It's called He Said It. Warning, highly redacted. Way before. And you still bought a Tesla? You're a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. Because if I would have known that, you know me, I've hated electric cars from the jump.

Well, I had. From the jump, I hated them. How can you still subscribe to the movement of electric cars when you know... Subscribe electric cars? When you know. Subscribe. Subscribe. When you know there's mothers with babies on their back that are getting deformities, the pollution, the toxins they're inhaling.

Babies on their back? Well, I don't even know that one. What is that? I don't know. Is it like a conspiracy thing? You're not supposed to lay down on your back or something? I don't know. In a Tesla?

I have no clue. Yeah, I don't even know what Bob was talking about. Do you see when he was sitting down, he had that big green shirt on. He had the hipster thing that goes over. Yeah. It sort of looks like a baseball jersey. That's part of the joy of watching these things is like, what is he going to wear next?

Yeah. Let's play that one more time. I want to see. Can you play that clip one more time? Yeah. Way before. And you still bought a Tesla? But you're a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. time. I want to see. Can you play that clip one more time? Yeah. Way before that. And you still bought a Tesla? You're a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. Because if I would have known that, you know me, I've hated electric cars from the jump. Well, I had. Well, according to Bapa, since the jump, he has not liked electric cars.

Right, right. I got that part. So he bad guy. Brian got an electric car. He's a bad guy. Bad guy. Fair enough. The jump I had.

How can you still subscribe to these the movement of electric cars when you know subscribe subscribe subscribe he said the movement of electric cars yeah okay there's mothers with babies on their back they're getting deformities the pollution the the so there's mothers with babies on their back that are wait play that one more time for me subscribe when you know there's mothers with babies on their back that's almost like shakespeare or something there's mothers with babies on their back there's mothers with bait i don't know what he's talking about let's read some let's read some of the comments. Okay. See if anyone gets it. So there must have been an article about...

Let's look up real quick and see if there's any articles about it. Okay, mothers with babies on their back that are getting deformities, the pollution, the toxins they're inhaling. What the fuck is he even trying to say? No now and later gators is exactly asking what we want. So we couldn't find anything on the internet about electric cars and babies with deformities. Nothing. Yeah, Bapa just, I don't know if he has 300 pages of monster lawyers or the fact that he has access to the Tiger Bell email, but he was able to find stuff we weren't able to find.

All right. Well, that was confusing. I think that's the most confusing we've ever been from a shop. Yeah. I think it's all part of the whole grifter health influencer thing. Because I watched a beige frequency video about the liver king. And he was talking about how these guys constantly say that there's toxins or things coming from chemicals with just about everything. Yeah. So I assume he's saying that there's some sort of yeah so i assume they're he's saying that there's some sort of chemicals or something because they're electric cars or toxins or

whatever coming from the seats or who knows heard it both ways heard it both ways perfect yeah exactly um all right so we got one more clip uh boppa's biggest fan is the head of ferrari north america and then dot dot water posted byed by TemporaryAd2330. It looks like he was on the RU Garbage podcast. Here we go. No, but I was doing a show at La Jolla Comedy Store in La Jolla.

One of my favorite clubs of all time. First time doing it? One of the best clubs. It's insane. I don't know what it is. It's crazy. The stage is great. The room is great. The stage is great. One of my favorite nights of comedy I've ever had.

One of my very favorite clubs. I'm there, I don't know, like a year ago. I do the meet and greets after the shows. This guy comes up. He has slick back, silver hair, dope ass suit. Nobody wears suits to my show. Nobody wears shows to my, you know, suits to my car. Nobody wears shows to my

suits. He can't help himself, dude. No, no. He's thinking too fast. Sentences are checks that his brain can't cash. I'm like, what the fuck's happening? And he's talking to me and he goes, you're a car guy, right? I'm like, yeah, big car guy. He goes, oh, what's your favorite? And I go, my a car guy right oh yeah big car guy he goes oh what's

your favorite and i go my favorite car ever made is a gd2rs he goes oh those are cool i go yeah and he goes uh you ever driven one i go yeah i own it man it's my favorite car i'm never getting rid of it he's ever driven a ferrari he had a ferrari his front engine though i'm talking about not my favorite man he goes that's a shame oh yeah they're cool though but you know my brother he's all cool man and i go but you know i'm waiting to get on the the list i heard it's like a 10-year waiting list he goes that's fucking tough man all right say less dude he leaves again i asked to be on that list you know i don't know seven years ago i'm driving down uh somewhere in san diego my brother's in the car and uh we're in my bronco and i get a call

my brother hates uh uh ferrari north america how many different cars as he said in this clip alone somewhere in San Diego. My brother's in the car and we're in my Bronco and I get a call. My Bronco? Hey, it's Ferrari North America. How many different cars has he sent in this clip alone, dude? Does he have more hats or cars? Obviously more hats, but I just had to say it. A lot of cars though. He has a shit ton of hats. Every single clip is a different hat. It was funny

that he said he had no truck and then they showed the clip of him with a truck or whatever. Definitely has a truck. What if he said he had no truck and then they showed the clip of him with a truck or whatever definitely you got uh what if he said he had no hats can you walk me to my hat and they go hey it's uh uh ferrari north america you got uh allocated a fryer you you got pushed to the front of the line you allocated friday that guy was the head of ferrari north america and he was the biggest fan. He was just a big fan. The biggest fan. The biggest fan of Schaub? That can't be right.

That cannot be right. What's the top comment on this one? All right, let's see here. Top comment. It seems like most of B. Schaub's biggest fans also don't subscribe to social media. The numbers ain't adding up, guy. I don't even understand what that means. I know.

Was this like when he said that somebody at Specialized Bikes was a big fan and got him a collab and a free bike? Then Specialized had to come out and say, we have nothing to do with thick blood. That's so funny. Dude, companies have to literally come up come they're like the youtube comments are like listen i don't like shop but i also don't like it here's like you know they're the same everyone everyone has to distance themselves and shop hasn't even really done anything that bad it's

just so stupid that they're like we can't have anything to do with thick boy nation oh my god dude the ceo gets a call he's like what thick boy nation said that we fuck so that's all the clips for this week yeah that's all the clips we have for this week if you're in los angeles on wednesday i'm at apocalypto at permanent records doing stand-up and on friday i'm at the glendale room uh so check out if you're in los angeles check out those shows if you want to see me do stand-up bye