10 Minutes of Schaub - Mondays are TOUGH for Brendan Schaub! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #46

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Forty Sixth episode of Ten Minutes of Schaub

Tiger Thick, all in my brain Saying things that end up at change I'm a dummy and I don't know why Posted a selfie when my grandma died Tiger Thick, need it now Don't know if Brian's gonna stick around Is he happy or in misery Whatever it is, hey girl

Truck walk with me, we'll take It's time for my favorite time of the week When you get the ear pop, let it try to speak Release surprises today today you better all right welcome back to tmos like and subscribe join the patreon if you want join the discord everything's on spotify i have a show on the 15th of the Nightcap in Burbank. But that's not why you're here. The reason you're here, as you know very well, is to watch Shop. 10 Minutes of Shop.

So play the chain clip. You have a show on the April 15th? Is that what I said? Saturday. Oh, so coming out next week. Yeah, coming out next week. Next week. I'm not going at all. Seven days ahead, dude. I don't know if you're in Australia. Yeah. So get to it.

I have a show April 22nd, the next Saturday after that. Hell yeah. Downtown Los Angeles. Yes. Yeah. You see my life. Well, that's not what

that's not what it is. Let's get to the chin clip. The first one is took us by storm this week, right? You know what I mean? This guy leave on leave on TR. Yeah, really. He put uh he bet on himself dude and yeah a lot of work ethnic put into this kind of like a mini series a kitty series if you

will oh nice a little bit of a spoiler alert if you haven't seen it yet yeah very well done stuff i don't want to spoil it even even more than i have so let's just uh let's take it out all right so it's called the Redacted War. Great title. Never seen it. Never heard it. To some, it was a place to make jokes. To others, a creative outlet.

To a few, it's a place to be a dick. The truth, it's a place to discuss the podcast. This is Chang's. This is Chang's. This is amazing. It's very good.

Do you watch Civil War documentaries? Yeah. The comedian who mobilized an army against himself started perhaps the greatest inside joke of all time. He himself did not get it. Most notable in history for the extent. Bro. That's so good.

It's like when he gets knocked down. I miss that. There's things that you see in this that you don't catch the first time. Yep. that's so good. It's like when it gets knocked down. I miss that. There's things that you see in this that you don't catch the first time. Yep. That's how good it is. That's true. I didn't notice that until the second time around. I was I think I was floored by like what somebody made something like this, you know, right? Amazing.

Also to just the choice of words, an inside joke that nobody else thought of or that he didn't get himself. Or the part where he's like, this is changed. Pretty good. Here we go.

The number of his failures, the 60 year old young man, young man, himself stuck in a sinking ship. The founding father of Chang's. Thank him. Thank him. Robert E. Lee.

300 pages of evidence could not take him down. The Afibo Felix sidekick. The Afibo Felix sidekick. Shattered dreams of a brighter future. Oh my God. The guy from Workaholics. He's a subtle piece. The guy from Workaholics.

He's a subtle dance. The guy from Workaholics. The southern gentleman who escaped the war. Heard saying, I don't want that. The countless baddies rejecting truck walks.

The dick-slinging kingmaker. He was short. The lion who smuggled information between enemies. Dishonorably discharged from both armies. This makes me laugh and feel. I feel that there's emotion that comes out of this. That's how deep I am in Chang's. Yeah. Amazing.

I'm ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. This guy's face. He's like serious. The bird who flew too close to the sun. Remembered for his song. Gadooshed for forgetting we do not matter

R.I.P. and the great P.F. Doom rest in power I miss you brother wow so good next time So good. Next time. Still to come in the Redacted War.

These are so good. The fajitas. yeah that's a good one bro when i saw that saw that, like, how do you do that, dude? Probably the same way that you did it with that AI thing. And then you type in General Feldfate or you type in Randy Feldfate Civil War. Yeah. AI, their ability to do that is crazy. Yeah. And this is so funny.

Like, AI is funnier than Shaw, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Thank them, B. Dormant. Like AI is funnier than a shop. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Thank them be. Oh man, dude. And rest in peace to leave on his cat. I forget his name, but he says like,

uh, the first picture of the cat, uh, his cat is O'Malley. O'Malley. O'Malley, you're a Negflix RIP. Same with that post, B. Yeah.

Amazing. Chang's lore. Yeah. Very good. That was very close to not being redacted. Yeah. And he was almost not redacted. Yeah.

It almost matters. Unfortunately, we don't matter. No, not at all. Yeah. All right. Let's get started with the clips here. This one, I think I saw earlier in the week. It's called Ariel naming the waters once again. Yeah, I didn't watch this. I think probably subconsciously I wanted

to wait to the show. Yeah. Can you help me name the waters and where I can find baddies and addies? That's another inside joke. These people, they love the inside jokes. It's all that PF Chang stuff. You still haven't figured that out, right? So someone tagged me on Twitter

explaining does that have anything to do with Brandon Schaub or something? No, I'm not familiar. Brandon or Brandon? I don't know. Some guy. I'll explain it to you later. Okay.

Are you a fan of his comedy? I don't even know who he is. What? You don't know who he is? Former UFC fighter? Yeah, but when did he retire? Maybe

16. Maybe it's a little bit before your time or towards the end. You weren't at UFC 134, were you? The first show in Rio? No, I wasn't. Anyway, big time comedian. I started in November 2014. I think

he was around. I think he was around. But it's okay. You can check out his comedy. He's got some big specials. Is he good? Highly rated. Do you like him? Big fan. he's got some big specials highly rated uh you know 1.1.6 big fan big fan she knows who he is yeah they're both like making fun of him yeah the open disrespect for brendan is what i enjoy i mean it's crazy they're both both of them are just like yeah it doesn't matter she it's a fence it's kind of like you're being mean if you say oh i have no idea who he is right It's crazy. Both of them are just like, it doesn't matter.

It's kind of like you're being mean if you say, oh, I have no idea who he is, right? But then it's also mean if you're kind of playing along with, oh, do you like him? Like they both don't like him. Nobody cares. Even a nice young lady who used to do UFC card, what are they called?

Is she a Mexican? A ring lady. Is she a Mexican? Is she a Taco Bell Mexican? Is she a ring lady is she a Mexican she's a Taco Bell Mexican that's what Sean's asking himself what are these Taco Bell Mexicans saying about me yeah he's getting like you know why she said that because she's Taco Bell Mexican not like Guadalajara Mexican you know man nobody cares people will just openly disrespect him like he's almost like the way people do about Trump or biden yeah yeah he's reached that presidential level of hatred wow good point yeah thanks v yeah thank you wow yeah uh i don't know who that is lucia she used to be a ring girl

i think so i assume maybe that's messed up that i just assumed that but she's really hot so that would be crazy if in a strange, different alternate universe, she was the girl that he was giving his number to. I mean, maybe. There may very well be one of the baddies that he tried to DM, and she was like, actually, I have a brain. And also, too, she's speaking for baddies. I don't think she's ready for that. I don't know if she's job interviewing in that podcast.

She's become another CEO. But she's pretty close, B. Yeah, yeah. She has management qualities. podcast. She's become another CEO, but she's pretty close, B. Yeah, she has management qualities. She has a very We Don't Matter esque quality to her. Papa doesn't even matter. She doesn't know who he is.

Did I say who posted the last one? Posted by Enslaved Meth Cook. Crazy name. What a crazy name to forget to say. Enslaved Meth Cook and what's the other guy? Shitter throat splitter. I hope they know each other. Yeah. Thank you guys. We're

getting demonetized on YouTube. Yeah. Keep it up. Keep it up. You don't matter. This one's called Hey Bapa, you're wrong. Take the L posted by King Demo. So I don't know if you know this, but that's a that's a is that a 20,000 pound 6,000. But don't say 20,000 6,000 that's a, that's a, is that a 20,000 pound animal? 6,000. Don't say 20,000.

6,000 pounds. 6,000. I think they're bigger than 6,000 pounds. 20,000 pounds. It's not a dinosaur, bitch. Eight, eight, six, eight. It's a female adult. Look at the males.

No, but look at the males. No, the females are bigger than males. Hold please. I don't know about that, dude. I know my 16,000 pounds, Bubba. 16,000 pounds. Okay? Okay? Now listen.

Listen. Calm down. I'm saying the ones in SeaWorld aren't that big because they're raised in the... Oh, wow. How much time does he spend at SeaWorld? Why is he an expert in these things? Well, he's obviously not. He doesn't know what he's talking about with everything. But why does he spend at SeaWorld? Why is he an expert in these things? Well, he's obviously not. He doesn't know what he's talking about with everything.

But why does he think that? Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make sense. He also becomes like a little kid when he's trying to be like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. He's got to be used to being wrong. If he's not used to being wrong, it makes no sense because he's wrong constantly all the time.

What are we doing here, dude? What are we doing? His brain is probably like, his brain is probably just like, that's it like that's it dude i don't know i give up and like walks out because then something else takes over he just goes he just goes brain is fed up he's like you don't listen to what i tell you you're just listening to your gut your gut's always wrong your gut's 20 000 pounds by the way as if there's a difference like the one that killed her is six. The one that killed her was 6,000 pounds. That's a lot of weight. It's all.

It's also to their savages. They have no enemies in the ocean. Well, they 22,000 pounds. Heaviest killer. Well, 22,000 pounds. Oh, man. Oh, let's see if there's anything left.

Jesus. 32 feet long. 22,000 pounds. That thing's enormous. Yeah. Wrong again. You mentioned Schaub in class when he was a kid. The teacher would be like, does anyone know the answer to that?

He's like this, and the teacher's like, does anybody else know the answer to that? He's like, doesn't want to pick on him. Because he knows Schaub's going to say something absurd. Yeah, I'm certainly wrong. Yeah. And anybody else? I do gay get it eight inches eight inches. Oh yeah, that's always been so much better

if he's like I do eight inches hold for laughter. Okay, so this was posted by a shamed song nine four five nine. it's called texas has made rogan cold finally cut boppa off well at a certain point they trust you like i've never lied once like i've had a lot of people that i really i like them but they're just not that funny right i just can't i can't help you yeah you know it's like yeah i mean honestly though your true opinion do you think he's talking

about shop um i watched that whole episode not ashamed to say it uh obviously shop came to my head i can't tell you whether or not as far as thinking yeah then i have to say yes possibly okay because shop definitely comes to my head only because i know that he's really unfunny and terrible but he but rogan had him on the podcast more than anybody else told him to do stand-up and seems to like him maybe he hasn't is he still not been to the mothership is that oh yeah i don't think he has i don't know though you know so i don't know i i don't think it's i would love it if it was shop because that would just be funny yeah but i don't think it's, I would love it if it was Shaw because that would just be funny. Yeah. But I don't think it is. If my honest opinion, I think he's probably talking about somebody else.

When I thought it was Shaw was because he was saying how close of a friend he was to a person like that. Oh, okay. In the actual context of the episode. Maybe, but then at the same time, Rogan is not always picking, he's not sending his best. You know, not all the time, right? Yeah. I think we can all agree on that. Yeah. I've said I like Rogan. You've said you like Rogan. not always picking. He's not sending his best. You know, not all the time, right? I think we can all agree on that. I've said I like Rogan. You've said you like Rogan.

We're fans. We came out. We came out. But he is not sending his best all the time. I think we know that well. You know what's funny is I think I cut it out of the last episode where we say we like Rogan. You can cut it out again, me.

And if I didn't, please let us know in the comments because I might have kept it in. I don't know. Yeah, and they'll be like cut out your whole show. All right. So this is becoming one of my favorite parts of the show, right? There's a random Danny Brown clip. Yes, um, great guy. Never met

him. It's called Danny Brown talking about the Austin comedy scene posted by El Coop 420 when I hang around y'all niggas. It's no respect coming to kill Tony's or when comedians have come through and bro these niggas talk about each other like it's i've seen comedians like talk shit about other comedians that they didn't even know that i knew that comedian which is the worst shit ever i might

talk shit about a nigga jokes this is that but it's all about like financial shit they'd be like this nigga broke that's what i seen it all been funded from your shit bro being backstage at kill tony's bro comedians are the worst people to even have like a emotional connection with these niggas they're gonna use it for a joke or they're gonna talk shit about you to another comedian what i swear to god there's good ones there's good ones some of the best people i know are comedians yeah there's a first of all danny there's only a thousand that can do it yeah okay some of the i can't believe that you would hang out of the mothership with a murderer's role and i mean second of all how good is the mothership right now, right? Just killer

after killer, assassin. I'm a little bit fed up. Not really. He's probably right. Have you been to the mothership? It's savage. Savage, dude. I mean, the financial thing sounds like it could be someone talking shit about

Chop, and I wanted to have Danny Brown on the pot. I was hoping someday we can get him on. Yeah. But he may not like it. Although we don't really talk about Brendan's finances. We don't know. Yeah. I want him to be killing it.

We've said in the past that we want him to be able to afford better cameras, better equipment, everything. Yeah. And I don't care who's paying for it, whether it's him, his dad, whatever. It doesn't matter. As long as he has the finances to do more than just truck diaries and the shop show. We want another category. We want home decor.

A home decor YouTube show. SeaWorld. Tour guiding. Tour guiding. Yeah. Don't laugh. He's balls deep in tour guiding. I want movie reviews.

Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. What would it be called? Let's put you on the spot. There will be shop. If I said I was going to start another podcast, you wouldn't watch it because it'd be redacted.

If there was another thick boy entertainment coming soon, you wouldn't see it. Super Mario Brothers. Great movie. Never seen it. What are the thick? What are the thick things again? There's thick.

There's a new. What was that? Thick life. Extra thick. Extra thick. Thick life. Thick boy, obviously. Thick boy.

Thick nation. Thick boy squad. There should be a thick city. Oh, yeah. Thick continent. A thick mayor. Tom Ford. You know what I mean?

I don't even understand what that means. Oh. What does that mean? I might not have made sense, but i'm pretty sure that's the mayor that was doing cocaine oh ford yes hasn't no tom ford is the fashion designer see i don't know look how it's like a for you're right though i forget what that guy's name was something ford in canada that was smoking crack yeah anyways back to but he's a perfect candidate for Thick Boy. I'm sure he would love Schaub because he'd be so high-end crack that he wouldn't even know what he was watching.

Rest in power. Schaub would have got him that creative ASAP. What if it is Tom Ford? I don't remember his first name. I don't remember. Yeah. Alright, let's see. A couple of the worst, too. Y'all niggas should be talking shit about niggas backstage. I don't fuck with it, bro.

Danny Brown, anti-talk shit. Yeah. Confirmed. Confirmed. Yeah. So if Danny Brown, that'd be so funny if Danny Brown tunes in every week. That'd be a surreal moment, dude. Yeah.

If he's any different from his views on that clip, I mean, hopefully, but he may not like what we do if he doesn't like talking shit. True. Because that's a little bit what we do, I think. I mean, listen, we discussed the podcast here, B. Only the podcast. Yeah, we stay away from finances. We stay away from marital stuff. Most of the TMZ stuff, I don't really want to deal with. Yeah, that don't

matter. Yeah, we just want to have fun, B. Yeah, B. Want to post some ghosts. Come through and make a song with us. That don't matter. Yeah. We just want to have fun. Yeah. B when I'm posting ghosts, come through and make a song with us. That's a lot. That's going to a lot. He's like, you know how much I features guys be great to have on a song. All righty.

Well, this one's posted by a silly goose time 69. It's called truly redacted. And there's a videotape. That's going to be the Gringo Poppy, dude. Man, what a videotape. Because this is the one where, like,

Woody Harrelson has a really horrifying, because it's children being assaulted. Yes. And all you see is a reaction. Oh. Well done, Silly Goose Time 69. Have you seen this yet or no? No. I just know that's going to be bad.

It's going to be. What's up, Dallas? I'm not used to this. Dallas is a little different. There's some ladies out tonight. We're not even locked down. My girl was fighting with me the other week.

We're locked down. We're fucked. She was fighting with me. She was like, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, Fauci, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, Delta, nyeh, nyeh, Mass, nyeh, nyeh.

What are we going to do? Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. I was thinking to myself, oh my God. My life would be so much easier if I was just gay as shit. If I was locked down with the bros, Dallas,

quarantined with the homies, you know how much more fun we would have? Oh, my God, dude. I wish I had a flask. We'd play video games all day. We'd work out. Good Lord. At night, we'd fuck each other.

Dude, dude, papi. What are you doing, bro? Get with the Latina, bro. You know why? Because they're fun and they're spicy. No doubt, definitely spicy. Real doing, bro? Get with the Latina, bro. You know why? They're spicy. They're fun and they're spicy. No doubt, definitely spicy. Real spicy, right?

Real spicy. You know what spicy means? They're assholes. That's what that means. No! No! God! Jesus!

Oh! Fuck! This could be someone's reaction to burrito pop they really like comedy fuck that's great oh man thank him thank him dude what a dish very good are you full yet no i need more. I mean that I'm almost full though. That was like being a mama lose. Dude, that with the redacted war, dude, this is a good week at Chang's. Yeah. Yeah. There's

some really good content. Not even just like Bapa stuff, like just chefs making their own stuff with Bapa as sort of a topping. Yeah, I'm redacted. All right. So this one's posted by fantastic nail three, nine, four, six. It's called. Oh, we got a. Yeah. I'm redacted. All right. So this one's posted by fantastic nail three, nine, four,

six. It's called, Oh, we've got a long title. I'm going to take a deep breath. Yeah. This is a hard one. I like hard ones.

Yes. Papa. Confirmed. Confirmed. Yes. Papa. Tell only professional comedians have a sense of humor and bust each other's balls.

Regular humans. Aren't capable of such intricate entertainment. What are you doing here, Papa? What are we like the French? Oh, we. Oh, I'm a deck. He got you. Yeah.

What was the name of this? Fantastic something. Gotcha. I'll get back to her in a second. If you're a gentleman, you jerk off like you're drinking tea. You pinkie out. Yeah. Remember when this was the worst social thing you could do by accident?

Have a pinkie out? Oh, no. Your friends would mock you. We saw it. Yeah. I think that might be just us. That might be a comedian's thing. That's how you first get into it.

If regular guys are drinking coffee, I bet they do this all the time. They don't even think about it. Yeah, exactly. They don't think someone's going to jump all over them and mock them. We discussed the podcast here, Papa. Yeah. I don't know about that yeah what are we doing here thank him b there's only a thousand true true yeah i don't know what he's talking about i guess he's saying that comedians make fun of each other too much yeah they were talking in context of the podcast they were discussing somebody jerking

off this way as opposed to like this, you know? Oh man. So they were going like this. So they're like, I immediately made, got made fun of. And then they're like,

remember when people would drink with their pinkies out and then somebody said that they jerk off like this to those guys. Oh, well, uh, big Jason, that somebody in, I think high school,

modern day philosophers. Yes. That's the only way that you can. Yep. That's the only way that you can. Yep. That's the only way it makes sense. The only way. I mean, just best brains for the arts. Yeah.

Okay. If I said I was a comedian, you'd tell me I'd jack off like this. All right. So this one's called Toe Complimenting Cats and Gadooshing Bapa posted by Sustainer28. Look at Reddit. 430 million. Woo. I'm not on reddit at all reddit chaos jesus christ i know guys will go on reddit and they read about themselves and

they go down a dark road they get their feelings hurt there's a bunch of intelligent vipers on facebook runs the top five three of the top five intelligent vipers on reddit there you go there's a there's a compliment for Changs. You're shouting them out, thanking them a little bit. Intelligent viper you don't really want to be. You kill people with your venom, but the intelligent part is nice. Good for you guys. Instead of homeless cats, we're intelligent vipers.

Yeah, they've been upgraded. Yeah. Upgraded from homeless cats to vicious snakes. Yeah. That are smart. But don't forget one thing, dude. Don't matter. We don't matter. Yes.

Or no, I should say. But also, we discussed the podcast here. True. This one's from the Golden Hour posted by Minimum Sky 2305. It's called You Doing Mothership B? Mondays are tough. Asics on? No, these are Balenciaga oh are they oh geez what i mean that's the asian is it a yeah they go out no they just kind of stole the idea i would sue okay so louisville comedy club april 20th through the 22nd and then the comedy mothership i'm going to be at the mothership in

austin cool that is that the guy from Workaholics? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to say that. General Montez. 28th through the 30th. Is that like a headlining thing that you're doing there? Yeah. I'll go to five shows, yeah.

And it's on the weekend? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. What room? They have different rooms, right? I have no idea. They have a main room and a small room. That's pretty cool, man.

Do you remember what they said for what Levon had for, was it the feebler what did they call him the hebophilic the hebophilic diddler yeah is that what they said yeah because pedophiles like kids and hebophil hebophil is uh teenage like the hebophilic diddler yeah okay cool i can't believe you remembered that well yeah it was like yeah i've watched 25 times. I'm kind of a numbers guy. Store. No, I know, but don't they have two rooms? He's in the main room. That's awesome.

Then I'm probably going to do Kill Tony that Monday also, but whatever. Before it or after it? After. He does it on Mondays. Mondays is tough. It's fine. Mondays is tough. What are fine. Mondays is tough. What are you talking about? So Eric Griffin, good comedian, gets to do it, but they don't?

Yeah. Okay, I see. Yeah, obviously, I don't think Chris is going to be welcome there. Probably not. No. Not as a heebie-feebie like Diddler. Yeah. Yeah.

But let's open this dialogue, dude. When do you think Bop is going to post about it on social media. Well, the tracking of it and people being like 35 days since is very funny. Oh, yes. I like that. When I assume he's going to be on there at some point, unless there's some rift,

you know, like people say that there may be a rift. I don't really put much money into that because I think that they're good friends and it's not as if papa's done something can't like that would rogan's canceled him over i guess you know i don't know well also too i don't want to uh friendship is friendship i don't believe in tearing any friendships apart right um i don't care much for their friendship that's between them right but just a number as a numbers guy right i feel like i want to say he'll be there within six months where he actually shows up at least in posts on social media i say yeah so i'll say three months

then okay from the opening or from now uh from now okay yeah i think he's got to be on there it just makes sense yeah it makes sense makes think he's got to be on there. It just makes sense. Yeah. It makes sense. It makes sense. Yeah. His audience will be out there too. Yeah.

There'll be some people that will want to see that. And I'm sure there'll be some cats. Yeah. You see now on Kill Tony, people are just ripping on Papa. Oh, yeah. Be good. I hope there's some clips that come out of that. I hope somebody gets a video of that.

Speaking of clips, we've got another one posted by Haphazard, the good buddy of ours. Boom Roasted is the title. Question mark, roasted? That's the title right there. Let's see what this is about. You think I want to be that kid whose credit on stage is that kid from TikTok? That's like Whitney's credit being the girl who fucked Brendan Schaub.

Hold on, it was ten years ago. Yes. Ten dog years ago. These old comics think that my... Huh. I didn't know that. I don't really care though. She fucked him great. Yeah, we discussed the podcast. Yeah.

When it comes to sex, it's fucking sick. But, you know. Great clip from Hap. But as far as whether Schaub got with Whitney Cummings. Oh, my God, dude. I could care less about. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's his life. That's her life. It is a funny image, though. Brendan Schaub, like, you know, circling it like, you know, what bait did he use? Right. You know, he's a numbers guy. He's like, how many, circling it, like, you know, what bait did he use? Right. You know, he's a numbers guy. He's like, how many times did he try?

And then it worked out. For sure. She should probably **** herself. I'm sorry. And on to the next clip. Would you have sex with Brendan Chobb? Okay. I was like, a serious question is coming.

Good delivery. But anyways, thanks for tuning in. See us next week. Bye. I'm redacted.