10 Minutes of Schaub - REDDIT HURTS Brendan Schaub’s FEELINGS! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #74

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

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All my views are down And my co-host's lame I've been for a while Just go ask Jay I'll be slinging D If I was with any Trail wall dreamer On such a trash Tuesday

Stop next to a truck For my diarrhea For his diarrhea Well I'm gonna eat your dick Gonna eat your dick Like I'm Kobayashi Like he's Kobayashi Know the baddies like the school

Know the baddies love the school Cause they know I'm not gay Yeah, you know he's not gay Trail walk dreaming On such a trashy day One take Stop at my favorite time of the week When you get the ear pop, I try to speak

Release surprises today You better act care Watch 10 minutes of shop. Thanks for tuning in. It's been a while because we've been busy. Oh, haven't recorded in two weeks. Good. Yeah. I was on vacation in New Orleans.

Ever heard of it? Yeah. Also, shout out to Bud Deasy, one of our Patreon subs because we got us these two Jocko shirts. He came to a show in New Orleans. He said, I got you a gift. I was a little worried. Ended up being two great t-shirts. Yeah. Got some Jocko

merch. Ever heard of it? Yeah. The back of the shirt. What does it say? It says 434 us before the enemy, dude. That's right. We always up, you know, every Tuesday, but you have a show on November 1st, right? I do. I have a show November 1st at the Barkley. Check

it out. South Pass South Pass. And what do you got stand up South Pass? And what's it called? I got a show November 4th, which is a Saturday, which is also what day the day we record right Cooney and I'll be in DC right right november fourth and november third, which causes a bit of a dilemma right. You know we like to do ten minutes a week, but sometimes you

got to double up the funny right, so we're going to cut this episode into two parts, but if you join the patreon you can get the full version. You know i'm saying we're salesman be marketing geniuses dude yeah someone say the genius test and we're going to do our geniuses dude yeah someone say the geniusest and we're gonna do our best to have two songs oh i mean right so uh we had one for this episode but we're the white boys that work too much i'm latino so my family's gonna disown me for saying that but uh yeah dude i just beans and cheese in it in the producing just fucking beans cheese beans cheese yeah we're getting these work the work ethnicsics on tier 10 tear 10. I don't even know what I'm saying. Oh, yeah.

Thanks for the checking out the tearless to we we got some good feedback on that. So maybe we'll make another one. Who knows? See when something does well, Cooney's like we got to do more of that thing. You're right. That's exactly what I think. He's like Brendan Chobb. Move aside. Tearless dude. 10 minutes of tearless. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to see ten minutes of tearless, convince me, dude.

I'm the fucking chin here, dude. That's true. Gerardo is the guy behind the, with the strings. I'm the guy behind the bald. Yeah. Yeah. But what are we here for, dude? That's not what they're here for.

They probably just skipped all that. Yeah. You weren't here for that. Yeah. You guys are here for us. Ten minutes of shop. So start the timer, play the chain clip. Did you start the timer? I did fucking a lot of talk about you not starting the timer. Daddy, this one's posted by haphazards. It's all one of our guys. Yeah, dude, it's called red. It hurts his feelings. Have you seen the stand up on the spot thing? Now it's pretty good dude. Let's see this clip. There's so

many so many give me give me one over here. Red it hurts my feelings great quick very pretty quick for him. I like a good job, but also is the first thing he said when he got on stage, so he was waiting for reddit. Oh yeah, he probably that's an audience plant. Yeah all right. So when you go up there, you say reddit and then i'll do another one and it's black dig. Okay, all right, well you say something that makes me say that his plan is j just up right out

fuck. I think the the stream goals are not working right now. Fellas all right. Sorry, we have technical issues. So here we go. Looks like looks like a west coast rappers in the front here. I don't know who though that guy has his arms cross. He does not think pop is funny. You got to impress him. He's smiling though. He's is he smiling? Yeah, look at that face, dude. That's a smile. That's a that's a thug down smile. Do you know how Kevin Hart has the joke where he's like I had nine. Yeah, you're like what thugs do and yeah, I've laughed against you trying to laugh, but not allowing himself to. Okay. Arms crossed

is and this guy's arms crossed smiles dude. This guy's like cannot believe what he just heard. He's like that guy looks like he's on Kratom. That's what Kratom does to you. It's got like a baby thing in his mouth. This guy was listening to TK right before entering the Kratom the yo Kratom dude. It looks like he dropped acid, but you know, at the same time, I get it. I'm not like Ric Flair. I fucking get it.

Oh, yeah, I fucking I there's a lot to hate on. I get it, but they're off man. If they met me, I think we'd be friends, but they also might kill me. So it's a dicey. I can't go in there. Do you think, what is the likelihood of somebody on Reddit killing Shab? Very unlikely, right?

He's this fighter guy, but I'm more interested in us. He's saying we could be friends. Oh, I thought about that too when I first saw him. Yeah, I could care less. He's probably not going to meet any Reddit people, hopefully, for both parties. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I mean, this is an opening for us. Yeah, he's probably not going to meet any ready people. Yeah, for both parties. Yeah, but yeah, no, I mean this is an opening for us. Yeah, dude shop. You're the peanut butter. We're the jelly baby. You know what I mean? Let's make a sandwich right right. Yeah, that part of you want no, no, I say if sandwich means podcast. Yeah,

and absolutely let's make a t fat percent dude do t fat k timos for us over crossover. Do yes, let's do it. Shob, I go maza go in there and search through all the shit. I can't hurts my feelings and I'm not. I'm not that tough. Lewis is I can't do it. It's like the worst shit you ever read in your life. I guess just mean man and there's not a therapist on this fucking planet who can navigate through that navigate. They're all right right and it's just online. Just ignore. I'm And there's not a therapist on this fucking planet who can navigate through that. Navigate.

They're all right, right. It's just online. Just ignore it. I'm like, that's easy, bitch. You're 60. He's like calling someone old for no reason. 60 is not even that old. You're 60. He's doing Brian voice.

You're a duck. You're 60. He's just shitting. He doesn't ever learn. He's saying,itting. So he doesn't ever learn. Like he's saying, oh yeah, I get made fun of, but I'm not like that bitch.

Ric Flair. Also, I'm not old like my therapist. You know, the whole Ric Flair thing. Yeah. He was on till Tony kill Tony. Tony.

Two's on till Tony. When they're trying to catch that guy, Tony, Tony, 2012. But now he's on there and they're, they're making jokes and he's like, I don't stand for bullying and he left or whatever. Yeah, but you know, why are you? Why is a flare catching strays here? Because Bob was trying to be cool. Yeah, yeah.

What else we got? Ben Rothwell hits very hard. See, that was good to lean into it, Baba. Yeah, I can't hate on him at all. Oh, did the whole thing close? Okay, here we go. Boom. I can't hate on him at all because I would be terrible at stand up on the spot. Stand up on the spot is just people giving you suggestions. Yeah.

Oh, like we'll see. Do you want to try it right now? No. Go for it. Give, like we'll see. Do you want to try it right now? No. Go for it. Give me one. Um, tripod. Tripods hurt my feelings.

That's pretty good. Like other people can go on the tripods and put the cameras on there. Like Louie, like Joey Gomez, you could do that. But, and then a therapist will tell you like, just don't pay attention to the tripod.

It's easy for you. Cause you're 74. Food trucks. Food trucks are delicious. Yeah, I would just I would just Brendan Chobbit. There would be no cleverness to my stuff. If you went on after him, that could be a hit. Yeah. Oh, that's about that. I'm making fun of daddy, dude. You're right. Yeah, I can't do that, dude. All right, let's go to the next chin clip. This one's posted by AdNarrow7141. Ever heard of him? It's called Boppa Never Fails to Deliver What a Read Act.

Let's see here. Majority. So is a split decision. No, majority decision. So one was a draw? No, majority. So 3-0. No, that's unanimous. Oh, was it not unanimous? That No majority. So three zero. No, that's unanimous. Oh, was it not

unanimous? That was majority. That's ridiculous. I like how Brandon's like trying to just save face. He's like he told you majority. See, I knew what the word majority the whole time. The disdain and toes faced. That's like we say the most majority. Yeah, that's like when you stub your toe. That's how your toe looks at you right there, dude. I don't understand the toe thing. Maybe it's because I'm bald. Because he's bald. Yeah, but why I don't think he looks like a toe. Because he's small.

Oh, well, I guess yeah, he's short. Yeah. The second and third Usman some judge did? That's insane. I guess that third with the striking, but then he got taken down domination but if you don't do anything with very funny that he doesn't uh he's not confident in the what the word majority means yeah the

majority of people liked the tear list it was unanimous i well yeah i guess it wasn't unanimous but it was it was close majority. So thank you. Thank him. My favorite comments were like officially a YouTuber. Oh, good. Again, people don't understand we are open micers. So if you call us YouTubers, that's a huge jump for us. Okay, even if

you think people don't respect YouTubers, wait until you hear what they have to say about open mic. Yeah. Okay, we're ducks and YouTubers are Hawks. Well, I don't know, but we're at least better now. Don't you ever call me an insult to me. All right, so this one's posted by dino velvet underscore eight millimeter. It's called shop tries to talk football with Adrian Peterson. Now you divulge to me that you want to say publicly. Oh, I watched like the beginning of this just randomly one night a while ago. And the whole beginning of it, they just keep talking about black digs.

And they're like saying very dicey, dicey things. It was, I'm surprised it didn't get clipped up into one of these things. It was the first five minutes was wild. I was laughing. I was like, I wish Gerardo was here to see this. I wish it was 10 minutes of job. Well, you know, the difference between you and him, a black belt. You know what I mean? You got probably three straps

on your white belt. He's got a black belt in podcasting, dog. That's true. I shouldn't criticize him. He's a great podcaster. I just don't have it in me to chin clip it up, you know, like the chefs. The chefs watching that, I mean, I'm sure they were just like,

at the beginning of the episode, they were like, all right, I'm going to strap the bogey in. Let's go. The shame on Reggie Bush with his talent, like say he was in the San Francisco 49ers offense or New Orleans, he would have been all pro six years in a row. But back then, they weren't using the running backs like they are now. Like Reggie could catch.

He could go into a slot. He could do all that. But they weren't set up for that. So he is forced to run on third down. He's not a third down back. Hegie could catch. He could go into a slot. He could do all that, but they weren't set up for that. He is forced to run on third down. He's not a third down back. He's too small. He had a decent career, but man, if he was in his prime today with

the way they can maneuver him in a Shanahan offense, superstar. But at the day, he was just a guy. Oh, man. Watching the master at work, you know? Yeah. He interrupts better than anybody else in the game, right? It's so hard to pay attention to what he's saying because of that red chair.

Oh, yeah. The red chair makes it goofier, too. Wait, are you saying it's hard to pay attention because of how goofy it is or because we have them? Because we have them and I'm balls deep in them, dude. Well, the lighting is different for them, right? It doesn't show up the same right no probably not but it is exactly the same yeah dude yeah i mean it goes to show how tall shop is look at my fucking stupid ass head like you can see the chair over my head probably he's got a giant hat yeah there's

probably like some space you know like in the hat between his head and the top of the hat i'd imagine see it's shit like that. That's not going to get us on T-Fat K, dude. The hat salesman is like, are you sure? It's like, it's a big hat. No, no, no. That's good. Brandon's like, can you take a bite out of it?

Yeah, it's like a fish. The thing is, I don't, when he's talking about stuff like that, I just assume he's wrong. So I'm kind of in my head laughing at the thought of like, Reggie Bush had a good career or whatever. I don't know. Yeah.

But so then I think that's going to be the bit. But then he interrupts Adrian Peterson, who I do know had a great career as a running back. Yeah. And who's about to make a point. And Chad's like, no, no, no. I'm not finished about this. So that is hilarious.

Hear more about my cappuccino with the Bills. Yeah. Yeah. Talk about it. between the tackles it was during your days too so it's like that ain't happening he had to run between

the tackles a little more but he got lucky because he was one of the few guys that ended up in New Orleans with Sean Payton and Sean Payton

that's the style that he's always looking for the Alvin Kamari type guy so he got kind of lucky being selected to go there. So the exact opposite of what Shab has said is true, as usual, because he's saying when he went to the Saints,

Peyton's offense was exactly what meshed with Bush's style, I guess. See, it goes over my head. Daddy. Because it's football. Plus, I was just in New Orleans, so balls deep. Oh, yeah. I would love to see Carmelo Anthony on the fucking T-Fat KD. How would you be able to tell the difference?

Oh, you're right. You know? Yeah. XJ. I can't wait. I wish I would run into Carmelo Anthony because I would love to post a picture of me and Carmelo being like, just met Brennan. That actually is my North Star, I think.

Yeah. Carmelo now? Yeah. Meeting Carmelo. Plus, I also like that guy. Oh, yeah. He's pretty cool. Great, I think. Yeah, Carmelo now? Yeah, me and Carmelo. Plus, I also like that guy. Oh, yeah, he's pretty cool. Great, great guy. Shout out to Jay, because this next one is called Axe Jay.

It's posted by Icarus Lives. Let's see what this chin's all about, Clip. Yo, why is he looking at me like that? What's up, little bud? Got a staring problem, pal? Like what, dude? He's just looking at you. He's a baby.

Look at his face dumb little face yo zan get your boy dog i don't know what that is but straight talk wireless yeah you know uh axe jay i don't know if you want to mess with him dude no dude jay's a silent assassin he's mysterious yeah you never. Yeah, but you know what we do know is that there was another fight companion. J. R. E. Style B. Oh, we already watched a clip from that, but I'm trying to do some segues here. Yeah, this one's posted by a responsible bar eight seven eight four seven eight seven. It's called Look how cool Bapa is interrupting and trying to smoke a cigar. Dicey, dicey. Very short clip.

Let's see what this is, Chin. No, Jamie, what'd you say, though? How's the read? I thought you were saying no, no, but it was Eddie Bravo. You got a similar sounding voice. Let's see. No, Jamie, what'd you say, though? How's the read?

Oh, sorry. Four minutes left. That's a good way for him. He loves this way. I'm going to say, I don't know shit. I don't know what's there, B. Yeah, I guess play it again. I don't know.

I don't know. Is he just interrupting? EB? Yeah. Let's see. Bravo. No, Jamie, what did you say, though? How's the score?

Oh, sorry. Four minutes left that's a good way for him he loves this way i'm gonna say i'm gonna i don't know shit i guess you just have to like capture every interruption because all of them could be gold and it's like documenting you know something like the way a great athlete dunks or shoots a three-pointer or scores a touchdown. This is the way shot does. I mean, we've been doing this for how long now, dude, this is episode what? 77, 76, something like that. Yeah. It's just like, all right, we get it, dude. He's, you know what I mean? Bad with references. Oh, he's interrupting again. Oh, he thinks he knows about football. Yeah. Okay. It's hard to have a different take on all these things, right? All right, so this next one is posted by

parrot underscore hyphen underscore hyphen underscore shop. It's called the Mark Harley Smear Campaign Continues. Let's see here. He didn't pay. There was actually a former employee here that maybe sold me something that said it was from a doctor, but I ended up getting it tested, and it was definitely not from a doctor. Yes.

And could have gotten me hooked on drugs, but it could also been laced with fentanyl. Yeah. Yeah. Best brains for the arts be. Whoa. Yeah. I wonder what he was trying to take.

You'll find out. Okay. Has that ever happened to you though, where you were given something and it was something completely different? No. I once bought drugs off an open micro named Kyle Gridley, allegedly. That was your first mistake. Oh, yeah, dude.

You already know who that is. Yeah, yeah. And it was supposed to be LSD, and I had taken it when I bought it off him. Sober now, five years. But I took it, and then I got in the car, rush hour traffic from Santa Ana to Etiwanda, and it was mescaline. Long story short.

Boom. Damn. I ended up at a Habit Burger Grill fucking just like pruning up inside of myself. Just like I don't even know what mescaline is. Yeah, me neither. Really fear, loathing and redactedness, dude. All right, here we go. Luckily, you didn't.

The old noggin. Fool Nick right, here we go. Luckily, you didn't. The old noggin. Fool Nick once, shame on me. Not just a hat rack. It's kind of hard to like when you're doing it on the black eye side. Because he couldn't look any dumber. It's hard to trust your judgment. How did Nick get a black eye?

I don't know. Wait, go back. Let's play that again. Wait. Oh, he's saying it might have fentanyl and he's like, yep. He's like I'm the smart one dude because I tested for fentanyl. Okay. It also been laced with fentanyl. Yeah.

Luckily the old noggin Nick once shame on me. Not just a hat, right? It's kind of hard to like when you're doing it on the black eye side oh oh oh gotcha so Nick's got a black eye

B how did that happen I don't even know so much to go through in these studio clips dude like there's too much going on in the TFA K world the intern has a black eye and he's being sold heroin or something or like it's like what there there needs to be some, but there really does need to be a handler

involved in everything shop. It's like discussing the Dwight Howard thing. It's like, wait, he was have is consensual, but then there was another guy. The guy's name is Kitty. Is the kitty a guy or a girl? And then you yeah, you watch these clips and it's supposed to be about some drug from BGL, but then the Nick has a black eye. Yeah. Chin has sometimes as a neck brace. Yeah. The interns keep getting fired or Brandon's

talking about fentanyl. It's a lot. Yeah. And diddlers phone guy. I take him. His phone should be taken away. Yeah. These, you know, the podcast is dense and I don't mean that in an intellectual way. I'm saying there's so much going on. Yeah.

Isn't he dumber? It's hard to trust your judgment. He's all the old noggin out on my watch. Oh, ow. But when I was a little suspicious of it, just because of how it looked, it was supposed to be Adderall. Question is, are they still on the Addies? You know what I mean?

I look at Addies and Baddies like a Libra scale. One side is going to be like super Addy, Addy, Addy, Addy. And then it's like, let's let go of the Addies, get some Baddies. You know what I mean? How about you? I say, you mean like them using it? Yes. You know, the golden days were, I guess, when they had addies and baddies.

Oh. But I don't, I don't know. I mean, I say whatever they think. They should just go and that's where the great content comes from. Mm. Yeah. Copy that. Good.

And I was suspicious of it because it's like the color did not look the same. And I looked up on ChatGBT. I was like, how can I get drugs tested in L.A.? And there's an LGBTQ center that once a month they put up a pop-up van, and you can just bring your drugs to be tested. Did you have to add gay? No. You knew that was coming.

You knew that was coming. I've seen this clip before, and I didn't know he says that. It's just like the most absurd. It's a joke, hopefully, right? Hopefully that's not a serious question. That he thinks that you have to act gay to use LGBTQ health center. But, you know, he said it. We got him.

We got him. So dumb. I tried to act normal and make jokes. I was like, oh, this is like a- While they're testing the drugs, Nick's all- Nick's all, hey. How long is this going to take? So I want some of these things.

So you- Wow. Okay, so you tested the drugs. And what did come back? And what was in it? And so they test for fentanyl amphetamine and methamphetamine and adderall should only have amphetamine right uh yeah dude what is what's meth then if it's not amphetamine it's amphetamine right i have no idea but oh yeah no it is yeah

this is like uh you know what heroin is to kratom Adderall is to fucking meth. This place is a drug den. Yeah, dude. It'd be funny if you tested happy about Kratom, and they came back, and they're like, it's heroin. It's heroin and amphetamine somehow, dude. And it tested negative for fentanyl, positive for amphetamine. And then I was like, I was trying to joke with them. I was like, this is like a paternity test.

I was getting back, and they just thought it was some drug act, so they didn't laugh. And then it tested positive for methamphetamine. Whoa. I was out $400. Oh, did you ask? That's a lot of Adderall, dude. The mark kills people, dude.

They said that the Adderall that he gave him had methamphetamine? Yeah. What you're saying is they're similar, right? Similar things? They said that the Adderall that he gave him had meth in it. Yeah. I guess they are. What you're saying is they're similar, right? Similar things. $400 of Adderall? That's what I'm saying, B.

I don't know. I've never bought Adderall. I don't know how much it costs. I never bought Adderall, but meth is cheap, right? I've never bought meth either. Meth is known as a cheap drug. I guess so, probably. Yeah.

Yeah. He's saying they tested it it and that's kind of weird to me that they can test these drugs and then be like, this is $400 worth of Adderall when it's meth. Yeah. Like, what do you even mean? How is this $400 worth of Adderall if it's meth? Yeah. I would go out of there confused

and I'd be like, I'd be like, wait a minute, wait a minute. Who's the doctor back there? And then it's Schaub. He's doing the math. That's why it's $400 of Adderall. $400K grand. Yeah, that's what he said. It's actually $400K grand of Adderall.

It's like, I gave you meth to test. I guess I got free Adderall. I wonder if meth heads test their meth if it has no meth in it and it's just amphetamine. He's like, oh, come on. Yeah, they're all bummed out. I'm out $400. Well it's just amphetamine. He's like, oh, come on. Yeah, they're all bummed out. I'm out $400. Well, meth is amphetamine. That's the meth is the nickname for that.

Yeah, but he's saying you can test amphetamine, methamphetamine. I'm lost. This is fucked up. I guess amphetamine doesn't have meth in it, but meth has amphetamine. It's like if you're Catholic, you are Christian, but if you're Christian, you're not Catholic.

You know what I'm saying? No. Not at all. Alright. I was like, hey man, this isn't this is math. I asked for Adderall. Yeah, he goes, same thing. He goes, he just didn't respond.

I was like, what the fuck? Whoa. Yeah. And Mark Harley is back with this girl. You saw that? Mm-hmm. Congrats. Thank him.

All right. Well, let's get out of that fucking hubble of redactedness and let's enter this hubble of redactedness, dude. We got crew lamb tons posting water short for what are we doing here with Bapa as a super saying Goku. Wow. Yep. He puts a lot of effort into the Halloween costume.

Yeah, and they always seem sort of childish though. Yeah, you want to see what the top comment is? Yeah, your power level is over 300 pages. All right. Got him. Do you know how it works? Defeated. Okay.

I don't know the I'm. That sounds good, but I don't really know Dragon Ball Z. I don't watch it much. I mean, me neither. I just shop isms. You know, I wasn't, but you know, super scion. That's when he's powerful, I guess. All right, let's go to the super scion.

You saw that what scion? Oh, you just did a shop isn't without even knowing. Oh, what is it? Oh, I think it's a diddler ism more than a shop. I actually watched that episode. I don't know any anime. Yeah, no, but I'm talking about t fat kb. Oh, what do they say? Diddler was like I said super scion and everyone got mad at him and you just did it right now. I'm mad at you, dude. All right, let's go to this next clip that was a blog buzzer uh this one's posted by air pumper it's called never meet him uh it looks like a lady let's see but he's the most phenomenal comic writer producer podcaster he's just an all-round multi-talented guy and more importantly he's just a great guy He's just one of those normal people. Okay, who is she talking about? Well, I know

from watching it, but she's talking about our guy, Brian. Oh, she should say, Brian, the Hulk Callan. Don't get in LA. Brian Callan. I rape women. Oh my God. Why did I have to put

that in at the end, dude? Oh, dude. Christmas. I can't wait till Christmas time. We should wear some ugly sweaters be. Oh, we might have to do another Christmas special. Yeah. Oh yeah. Big hit last year. It's been a long time. How the time flies when it's crazy to think. Yeah, just

300 pages of evidence ago. Yep. Let's see this one here. It's posted by one man wolf with Just 300 pages of evidence ago. Yep. Let's see this one here. It's posted by One Man Wolf with a bunch of X's. One Man Wolf Pack. Sounds like a lone wolf. All right. This one's called What The? It's under video content.

Let's see this. I'm up. I was leaning towards. I'm up at. Usually I'm around. I'm up. I was leaning towards. I'm a bad.

You jump around. Okay, so he's trying to say a bunch of things right here, right? I'm upset. Okay, I'm upset, right? Yeah, I'm upset. I would what? Be mad. Okay, would be mad.

I was leaning towards. I was leaning? Be mad. Okay, would be mad. I was leaning towards. I was leaning towards. Yeah. Being mad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad.

You think I'm a bad? Oh, I think I'm a bet is better. Yeah. Usually I'm around. You talking around. What is he? I heard you talking about. Oh, okay.

Let me see is it you're talking about around damn I wish they could have like the source time code so we could see what he was actually trying to say I really like decoding that you just stop and pause and go and go

I felt like a code breaker like in World War 2 or something like that like a shop code breaker we just got the enigma, you know? Oh yeah. Enigma machine. Shout out Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah. Who did he play? Wherever that guy was. Stephen Hawking, the imitation game, Ethan Hawking. No, no, no. Well, I mean you're talking, I'm talking the movie where he played the guy. It was like Alan during, I think. Oh, okay. During the durings test, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, don't expect us not to be redacted. No, during the durings test, something like that. Yeah, yeah. Hey,

don't expect us not to be redacted. No, you got there. You know I'm saying I wouldn't have been able to think of Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, I forgot who the actor was. He's always on my mind. Daddy. All right, so during during during during during that's how I would say where are we during that class right right? There you go. Sleeping. All right. So this one's posted by Big Blue Tracker. It's called the WYJA Slitch Ya Flight. Why just slitch your flight?

Why just slitch your flight? Your flight. Why just slitch? Oh, I get it. Why'd you switch the fight? Or the flight. I'm thinking fight though. Oh yeah. Maybe it's flight uh why just let's just it could be either one that's what this is like it's so you know yeah they like this universe is so it's like uh you never know what's gonna

happen it's like when you get really uh into sudoku puzzles and you're just like oh i can't solve this one now oh it's like that thrill you. I feel like I could maybe be a good teacher or something after watching all these clips of Bapa because I know maybe in like a class where kids are, they need a little bit more time to learn how to read or do, you know, mind, what is it called? Word problems or something like that. I could like listen to them easily,

have more patience and figure out what they're saying. Yeah. But listen to them easily, have more patience, and figure out what they're saying. Yeah. But then I think you do have more patience, but your mind's going with like, that sounded like Shubb. That sounded like Shubb. I mean, you're just thinking of all the shins. Yeah. We'll see. Maybe a good in one attribute tree, the other one's kind of suffering.

Well, let's see what this is about, though. Why did you switch your flight? The guy standing. Dude, he won. Hoist won because of his sidekicks from the guard. Joe, you got the lighter, brother? I got to go, boys. Where are you going to go?

We're on the same fucking flight. No, I got a 445 Delta. No, I thought we're on the same flight. No, you're on 730 American. I saw it. By the way, Delta, great airlines. never seen it yeah you change yours 45 yeah delta you gotta leave dude you you have literally less than an hour to get to the airport how far away is the airport half hour you gotta be there now airport's right 15 minutes

yeah but it's f1 weekend so the airport's gonna be minutes. It's F1 weekend. Yeah, but it's F1 weekend. So the airport's going to be jammed up. You're fucked. Why did you switch your flight, B, and not tell me? Is that it? Is that it right there? Yeah, why'd you switch your flight? He probably says it a bunch of times, I'm guessing. How many times do you think he says it?

So we got one down. I'll say three total. I think it was three, too. That would be also my guess. Let's see. Do you have a car to take you to the airport, or are you taking their car? I don't know. Jesus, Brian.

Why didn't you coordinate? I don't know. I got carried away. I got into this podcast. It's still on its back. Look at this. I like the podcast. Okay.

So very quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's going to be another one for sure. Let's see. I forgot he was on his back so much. I was watching so many highlights. So very quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's going to be another one for sure. Let's see. I forgot he was on his back so much. I was watching so many highlights. As a matter of fact, I think I left this fight before the third round.

Come on. Schaub. Schaub's going to get in there. Why'd you slit your flag, Brian? Why'd you slit it? This dude is spending a lot of time on his back. Callan did the old switcheroo. Didn't tell your boy, huh?

All right. Shall we wrap this up? All right. That doesn't count. That doesn't count. He looks so pissed. You saw that little fucking good fella shot right there, dude? All right.

Shall we wrap? What about me amuses you? Yeah. It's funny. Yeah. Imagine this looking back at you. You know you fucked up. Yeah. It's funny. Yeah. Imagine this looking back at you. You know you fucked up. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Shop needs someone on the plane so he can write his bits on him or keep him company. Yeah. Handler, if you will. What's up, gentlemen? Brian's all like, oh. Always a blast. I fucking loved it.

Love you guys. Love you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please do. Me and Sam Tripoli, samtripoli.com. We're coming to St. Louis. We're coming to Indy Austin and Dallas

SamTripoli.com I'll see you guys this weekend Coming weekend at the Chicago Improv Only one time We're redacted dude Why was that Chinso clip dude? That was a long one, dude. Why just let your flight?

We only heard it once. I want to hear it again, daddy. Do you have a car to take you to the airport? Or are you taking their car? I don't know. Yeah, but it's F1 weekend. So the airport's going to be jammed up. You're fucked.

Why did you switch your flight, B, and not tell me? He didn't even say it that bad. Yeah. Why did you switch your flight, flight B and not tell me? I still like it for a Shabbat. Why just let's just fight. I think we could do that. We could do that.

Well, hopefully we don't have to switch any flights. Any kind of tune. I said come soon. Any kind of tune. All right. This one's haphazard, dude. One of our guys. Strange thing to admit on a live broadcast.

What do you think it is? Left his son at school. I am fresh off the road. That's right. I flew to Sacramento and then drove back because I was having some work done on my TRX truck

out at Overkill in Sacramento. They've turned this thing into a straight banshee. That was a demon or a raptor. No, but that's the thing about comedy, dude, and especially geniuses. They don't use the same word twice. You're right. Straight banshee. I like saying straight banshee, dude.

This truck is a murderer. They turned this truck into a python. He's getting into Brian territory. Banshee's too close to animals. They turned this truck into a straight lion. Straight hedgehog. I'm driving a crocodile right now, bro. It is by no means legal here in California.

Why? Hilarious. What's illegal about it? How do you? Because it's too fast? Yeah. Not safe? How can they legally do the work in California if it's illegal in California?

Well, they're not doing it legally, probably. So he's gadushing them, too. That's a good point. Gadush himself and others. He can drive around without getting that car impounded and arrested. That's part of the fun. That is part of the

fun. That's also California. So we'll figure it out. We will figure it out. But everyone likes a bad boy, dude. You're right. Maybe that's part of the appeal. I should have guessed that because he's always doing these things. He's admitting to illegal things like carrying around the gun. Yeah.

You know, so this is just more of that, but maybe there's, you know, Bapa, he's on the cutting edge of technology B. He's got like an illegal mode. You know,

no, no, no. Yeah. This is the XJ hotline, but no, he's not driving an illegal car. No,

no, no. It's totally legal or truck. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, the Raptor, it's not driving an illegal car no no no it's totally legal or truck i'm sorry yeah no the raptor it's not even a raptor okay don't tell anybody but it's it's just a ford uh ford truck okay thanks thanks a lot you're so redacted it's a trxb i'm sorry it's a trx actually well i mean i'm just saying that he's not actually driving a TRX. Yeah. Oh, okay. What's a TRX? I have no clue. I almost said Ford 150 because that's the only truck that I know off the top of my head,

but I'm worried that that is a Demon or whatever. Yeah. Or Raptor. But one of the Gerardos we played before clip was the fucking, when he was saying Raptor and TRX are arch rivals. Uh-oh. Yeah. But he has a TRX, though.

You better watch your hawk. My beak listen. I mod my truck, so maybe I have a TRX one day and the next day I mod it and it's a raptor. So XG no Brendan does not have a fucking truck dude. I have my own actually or actually yeah, just ask. I should start doing the XG. That's hilarious. Good. Yeah, I'm a comedian. All right, so this next one's posted by haphazard. A lot of a lot of orange chicken come out of haphazard little cubicle. Dude, he's a hard working chef.

It's called Bapa is confused that Callan won't cancel his shows for the local companions. Oh, a little dicey, little trouble in paradise. Let's see. Those would be funny, but can I tell you something that's been bothering me? I'll hear that on here. Yeah, you know, and I get I? I'll hear that on here. Yeah. And I get it.

Rogan's a big deal, dude. Sure, he's a big deal. That show's massive. Massive show. You always find time to do his fight companions, and it's in another city. What do you mean? And then I do fight companions. I know I'm not Rogan, but you can never do them. Hold on.

Because I didn't have a date. I was supposed to be in Boise. That got canceled, so I didn't have a date. I was supposed to be in Boise. That got canceled. And now I, so I had the weekend. Open. Open. It got canceled. Yeah, dude.

What happened was I was going to be in your fight companion, but when I was driving to the show, all of a sudden a goat was in my backseat. What voices do goats make? More so, I was talking about how white boys he is, and a man like Callan can't sell out in Idaho. What's happening?

I don't know. What are we doing here? I wish him the best. I hope it wasn't a goat in the backseat situation I know that happens to him a lot

yeah you know let's see yeah and it's just that when I'm doing a show in a city

I can't not do that show and come and do the fight companion here also Joe's Joe I know

I get it also even if I was like say I was really mad at Joe for whatever reason. Maybe he punched me in the face or something. He's like, get out of here. You're still your cop.

And then I was like, fuck that guy. And then he was like, you want to do the fight committee? I go, yes. Like, I'd say before he got it out. This is why the thousand left LA, dude. Right. Because we're full of fake people. Right. You think they're hawks, but really, they're rubber duckies, dude. Right. Because we're full of fake people.

Right. You think they're hawks, but really they're rubber duckies, dude. Can't do his friend, his best friend's pod or companion, but he can do his uber famous Joe Rogan's companionship. I understand. Because all he sees is the numbers, dude. Yeah. It's like, you know, the Matrix like follow the white rabbit, whatever, and

you see all the green numbers kind of thing. That's what Joe is to him. Dude is just a man full of green numbers, right? I mean, Cal is always looking at the angles, right? He's getting in there. You know, he's like fucking. Yeah, he's like he's like he punches, but then he backs off. He punches, but then he backs off. But what he's really trying to do is be a hawk, not a duck. You keep you busy. Let's see. I go, yes. Yeah. But I'm mad. I get it. And then I go, yeah. I'm mad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Because I want to do one. And I hate to say that at 56. Because I'm done doing campaigns with people that I'm not super close with. They just make them as fun. Oh, a little bit of self-awareness. Yeah, dude. what do you think? I think it's just done for the show. I don't think he really cares. Okay, you don't think there's any content. You

don't think the rift is real? No, no. Come on, dude. Shop thought that would be like a funny like, oh, you can always do that, but you can't do mine. And they like riff on it. Kashav likes to needle Brian and he thinks it's like entertaining for the show. Yeah. But you know, Brian likes to needle himself. You've seen a standup B.

Oh yeah. We watched the whole catalog on Patreon B. So check it out if you want to see our reactions to that. Also, it wasn't worth it. I thought it was good.

It's fun. When you're like, I guess when you're watching us be tortured, but it's not fun. Oh yeah, the toll is yes rough. Wasn't worth it large toll on our and we didn't even learn how to become hawks. No, we just had to do it ourselves be all right. So this one's posted by haphazard again dude cooking up that chicken. He never uses that word on air oh this clip dude i've seen it before in the discord join the discord if you want to it's free i posted one day where i was like i'm feeling bad for papa swear to god dude they posted this in there and

i felt all right again dude i felt normal again to figure out if this guy's a retard and how and how uh heavy on the are there, how gangster was the- Patreon. Yep, that's true. We can say retard. I say that now. How gangster was that judge? I get it.

That kind of shit. You ever talk to your girl and go, hey, is your sister retarded? Well, now that would be an insensitive way to ask about it. No, you just got to cut straight to the chase. I said somebody was a retard? No, I don't like that shit. It's the one word I watch, retard. If ever I accidentally say it

on here i always ask evan to maybe switch it but i'm very conscious of it especially on air yeah we live with it because he's clearly doing okay he's functioning society yeah so by them going hey man you're basically retarded he's like what that that r he says it's so like pronounced it's not just like quickly it's like like full on. It's like he goes, retarded. Yeah. Like you, there's never any,

uh, kind of like, did he just say that? No, he, he like said it and he did it as a joke and he used it on purpose. And then there's a clip of like, look,

I don't use it. Yeah. You know, I just don't, I had this thing happen with a family where I accidentally said at one time. And after that, I just said, you know what? It's just not, uh, I'm sorry. I had this thing happen with a family where I accidentally said at one time and after that I just said, you know what? It's just not sorry. I'm getting emotional. Just

the Jada thing. Remember what the Jada thing where she's like and this part is very important. Yeah, basically did that. Look at that ridiculous kettlebell. Oh yeah, I wouldn't mind swinging that around daddy. I feel like yeah, if I worked out that I get stronger. Yeah, I was I'll be honest with yeah. I wouldn't mind swinging that around, daddy. I feel like, yeah, if I worked out with that, I'd get stronger.

Yeah. I'll be honest with you. Growing up in Denver, Colorado, in high school and in college, it was in your vernacular. It's just something that you'd use. It was like, bro. He's lying to the actor from Scrubs. I know. Isn't that Greg

Kinnear or something? No. John McGinley, the guy from Platoon. Those two guys I could get them confused for sure. He's definitely presented himself. He's a wordsmith. My generation, if you believe like, you know,

which I never use because I had a personal connection to it, but also I had a personal. That's very funny that he had a personal connection. Personal. Personal connection. To the word retard. Yeah, I mean, I know

another personal connection he has to it. Redacted. Personal connection. Growing up, I don't know how you guys grew up. Me and my bro would use the word retard all the time. Don't be retarded. Don't be a retard. They tried. I always thought it was.

Your dad goes, retards don't eat this. It looks disgusting. It looks too gross to me. It always has. It's fantastic. I wasn't a mac. So even me growing up, dude, don't be retarded. I'm not saying don't be mentally handicapped.

It's just like. Obviously, that's not what you're saying, Shub. Dude, shout out to the clips or the chins or the, you know what I'm saying, dude. All the people, the chefs. Yeah, this is a great compiling. Shub is really, you know, he put a lot of time into this. Very good. It's like, you know, they didn't make the Great Wall in a day.

Right? It took them a long time. No, I mean, I know people are saying, redacted for saying this, but some of these chefs are really like founding fathers like thomas jefferson george washington john hancock like that's the kind of it's like making of the constitution but i wouldn't say it's like the constitution because there's a lot of amendments if it's a constitution dude you know what i'm saying a lot of stuff you got to remember you know um but i I'm sorry deck that I don't know that, but like a man amendments are to

the constitution, right? Yes, so there are a lot of there's just a lot of stuff that you're like, but you know there's like twenty six amendments, right? And you could do me on that. I don't know for a fact, but shops got more than two hundred or three hundred pages of it. Sure, sure, sure, yeah, fair enough, fair, don't you dare laugh at me, dude. I'm laughing at myself. I wasn't even sure that amendments are part of the Constitution. But definitely a part of his Bill of Rights.

I threw in another one. Bill O'Reilly. Another part is Bill O'Reilly. Don't ever say the word retard. You're a retard, right? Fair enough. The word is in the vernacular. It's just the way people talk.

Yeah, my dad used to take us to Goodwill, and we could pick out one thing. I remember I was obviously retarded as a kid. I picked out a ski. That's his back. I know that. Thank you, Dr. Phil. I don't know. You guys are retarded.

The way you got retarded. But he doesn't mean mentally handicapped. Right? No. He's made that clear, thankfully. but he doesn't mean mentally handicapped, right? No, he's made that clear. Thankfully, good for him. Yeah, that's a great chin clip. We might cut the first episode here, so catch us next week. If you're not on the patreon, if you want to see the rest of this episode, it's on patreon. Now I'm out of town for a week.

We'll be back to the regular schedule programming next week. Bye