10 Minutes of Schaub - Rolling Stone GADOOSHES Chris D'elia! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #52

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Fifty Second episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

What's with these homeless hyrs in my cast? Why do they got a frump? What did we ever do to these cats? To make them so blog myself? Hey you! Walk me to my truck Hey you! And then suck my dick

Hey you! And Esther goes my way Oo wee oo I look just like Joe Camel Hey you, investor goes both ways. Ooh wee ooh, I look just like Joe Camel. Oh oh, and you're Mr. Whole Foods. I don't care what they post on Reddit anyways. I don't read the comments. One take. Stop at my favorite time of the week.

When you get the ear bop, I try to speak. Welcome back to 10 minutes of shop. What did you see on your phone? Nothing. You know, just normal blog, buses, stuff. Oh, okay. Yeah. Netflix things.

Yeah. Um, welcome back to 10 minutes of shop. Thanks for tuning in. Uh, okay. Yeah. Netflix things. Yeah. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shab. Thanks for tuning in. Join the Patreon. Join the Discord. Like and subscribe. Rate and review. Everything is on Spotify now. But that's

not why you're here. You are here for 10 Minutes of Shab. So play the chin clip. Boom. Boom. Alright, so there's a lot of uh chris d'alia stuff this week dude did you see the article that came out about him i did yeah the rolling stones article yes a lot of dicey dicey stuff great publication never read it though yeah yeah and i was like mainly a rehash i don't know if you read it yeah it was a rehash i read it and then i was like oh i've read all this before three years ago ago. That's kind of what I thought.

Yeah. I didn't read the whole thing because it got kind of boring. Yeah. But yeah, it seems bad. I do like this whole like, we're just going to remind everyone all the time. It's like, there's not going to be anything like lawful happening. Our show needs to end for all of these people to have a good life. No, we don't matter.

We're way bigger channels saying this stuff and you know, it is what it is. We're just here to have fun, B. No, we don't matter. We're way bigger channels saying this stuff. And, you know, it is what it is. We're just here to have fun, B. It's not good. The first post is by Ryan Joseph 82. It's called Body Language is Screaming. Oops.

The beginning or beginning of me. But anyway, I have a debate club for you guys. Adults who like Disney asterisk and don't have children. Pedophiles. I have been a Disney person So funny that he said pedophiles.

I can remember. And people passes don't have kids. But have that Oh, but have that. Oh, I love those. In my office. From the Haunted Mansion. The Bay Club.

It's the beginning. I mean, yeah, it really does look like a man's life is falling apart right in front of you. That's how you'd react when you're looking at your phone. It's hard to tell. I don't know. It's very weird. But then again, I don't know what I look like when the camera's not on me. You know, this is the eye twitching.

He's really, like people say, he's kind of starting to look like a villain. Yeah. In a movie where you're like, okay, well, that's clearly when you're watching the movie and then the one guy has like a look or he does something or, okay, that's the villain in this movie. Yeah. For sure. Oh, really, dude?

If I had a necklace, you'd think I was a pedophile. I don't know. It's so dark. It's sad. And then the McDonald's cup doesn't want to be there. Oh,

yeah. The McDonald's cup is like, can we get a different ad placement? This is worse than the Dylan Mulvaney Bud Light thing. Yeah. If I had a fast food restaurant, would you believe me? Situation Room.

Chris DeLea is using our product. This next clip is posted by Duff Enough. It's called A Diddler Dish from Last Year Worth Reheating. I like the play on words there. Okay. We got some dishes today, Papa. And then it came out he was raping like 12-year-olds, 14-year-olds. What a surprise. A cult leader raping

underage girls. Never heard of that before. Really, dude? Okay, Mr. Spoiler. Yeah. And Chris D'Elia's cult, bro? I don't trust them either. That ain't gonna end well. That thing is gonna end... With everyone drinking

Kool-Aid except Chris and everyone dies. Well, a lot of the people. With everyone drinking Kool-Aid except Chris, everyone dies. Well, a lot of the people are going to be drinking Kool-Aid because they're underage girls probably. That's why I'm here. I have a cult. I have a cult. Chris. I'm streamlining everything into this fucking cult.

Oh, shit. Did the flame fall? The sign fell. The sign was like, I'm out. I am out. This is dicey dicey. Did it hit you? No, it just fell over.

Oh, my God. Look how skinny Brendan Chobb looks in these clips, dude. He's so much skinnier. He's gained a lot of weight. Fat Patrick got big, dude. He's got three seats. Three seats. He's getting mean.

He's like, the meanness is coming out because this makes me so uncomfortable i'm like let's talk about fat chavez yeah let's skip this dish no i mean it's good it's funny it's good but we have a lot more of this yeah it's a lot more coming yeah we're gonna get a lot of it uh this next one's posted by big shoots it's called brian and ch Remember those guys? What are they up to? Sasso is definitely over it, B. I've already seen this one, so it's not about Chris D'Elia, but I did like this digital. Okay, okay.

Have you seen this yet or no? No, no. At the end of the show, it was, well, first it was Brian and Chris. You remember those guys? Yeah, yeah. What are they up to? And then there was Chad Colchin did it with me and our good buddy Tommy Blotcha, the funniest man in the world.

And Tommy and I, at least, were always like, moose goo-boosk, moose goo-boosk, boosk. Moose goo-boosk, boosk. Did y'all ever think about starting it back up? Was there ever a conversation to? Yeah, you know, for a while. Like a few years ago, yeah, Brian and Chris were like, maybe we don't do this again.

And I was like, I don't know, maybe. And then, I don't know, I think they're both living in Costa Rica. Certified homeless. Oh, yeah. Very good, dude. So funny. This guy is amazing on MADtv. He's coming back to serve some hot, spicy dishes for the people of Chang's.

One of our guys. Yes. Yeah, they definitely hit some snags. Everything's going to be fine. Look, be honest. Let's be very transparent. Get out ahead of any issues you may have had or don't. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't have the answers. Yeah, I think a lot of that's hard. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Yeah, that's all that's – A good thing to say is I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but anyway. That's kind of their own journeys. Yeah, I mean, I think they've both been through, you know, they've both dealt with, I mean, different sides, you know, they've been through a lot of that. Yeah. It's a lot. It sure is a lot. A whole world of that.

What are they talking about? The D'Elia stuff? Yeah. So, okay. I do have to catch you up on 10 minutes, 10 minutes, 10 minute podcast. I know that they had a podcast together. Yeah. So I know that.

So that's what. All right. Okay, guys. The know that they had a podcast together. So I know that. So that's what they're saying. All right. Okay, guys. The president doesn't know anything. Oh, really, dude? A broken clock is twice a day. Okay, I'm a broken clock. All right.

So I was right once during the podcast. Fair enough. So they used to have 10-minute podcasts with Brian, Chris, and Will Sasso. Okay. So basically, Theo was asking, have you ever thought about bringing it back again? Because he started doing it with two different dudes. Right. And then he's saying that Brian and Chris,

they had talked about it a couple of years ago, but now they're dealing with their own stuff. They both got allegations of sexual misconduct. Oh, Brian and Chris. See, I'm so redacted. I'm so focused on Shab. He said Brian and Chris. I heard Shab and Brian. Oh. Or D'Lea and Brian. Like, yeah'm so redacted. I'm so focused on Shab. He said Brian and Chris. I heard Shab and Brian.

Oh. Or D'Lea and Brian. Yeah, that's what I heard. In my head, I heard Shab and Brian. Yeah, so who's the bad guy? I'm a little redacted. So he's saying both of them get out ahead of it. I see, I see.

Yeah. Fair enough, yeah. Because I was thinking if it was Shab that they were talking about or Shab and Brian, this clip, what they're seeing could be for any of the clips that come out. It wouldn't even be just the bad stuff. It's just like them talking like get out ahead of it. Explain yourself.

Because there's so many embarrassing things they do. He said Big J Orca son the other week. Or Niedermeyer. Any of the names. Who is John Africa? The continent or the state. He just goes. Ask Australia.

That's seven days ahead, right? Crikey. A lot. Whenever I start to think about it, I immediately stop. Yeah. Yeah, because I go like, that's a lot. And see, I'm stopping right now. Very reminiscent of how I feel.

And I don't even know the guys. Never met him. Shout out Will Sasso. He's cooking up dishes for you guys. Yeah, he's in the back. No smoke breaks for him. This one's posted by Gringo Ploppy. It's called Boppa bust out some Gringo Poppy poppy racial gold and a, quote, Super Bowl.

Yes, sir. Do you want to guess anything? So he busts out some gringo poppy racial gold and Super Bowl. So I think maybe, because I have not seen this clip. I've already seen it. Maybe the racial stuff comes in because Matt's last name is Ariza, and he says something about that. Oh, I don't even know who Ariza is.

He's the punter for the bill. See, I got a scoop on you. So I've seen some of the clips. But he's the punter for the bills that was accused of assault. But apparently he wasn't even at the party where the assault happened. So he's clearing his name, which is horrible.

I'm sorry that happened to him. Sorry to the person who got assaulted, obviously obviously as well. Schaub is having him on because Schaub's whole thing is like, I guess clearing this guy's name, which is a little dicey dicey because of who Schaub is. All right, I'm going to start it up and I'll fix the sign.

Yeah, man. And also, the league needs more Mexicans. Let's be honest. Yeah, he's half Mexican. You because I need to show a little respect. We got plenty of half Mexican dude. So that's why I you know, my

kids are half Mexican. My wife is I mean full-blown Mexican dude and your dad's Mexican. Yes. Yeah, like actual Mexican or like Taco Bell born in mexican no born in mexican he's just committed to this bit no one has told him that he's got to stop yeah no one says hey man that's not funny and it doesn't make sense you think the punter was like i saw gringo poppy i know what he's referencing taco bell mexican yes i wonder if matt knows that yeah

that's like um yeah taco bell mesquite i sure shot sure famous Matt's like, yeah, Taco Bell Mesquite? Sure, famous. He's like, do I leave the same way I came in? He's like, can it get worse for me? I thought it couldn't get any worse. I was accused of gang rape. Now I'm on a podcast with you. So I thought before would be worse than now.

So now I'll ask you, what do you think is going to happen next? So the title was, so I got it right, right? What? Cause I said, he's going to say something about the name and his race. Oh yes.

So, but what was this? He said, and so gringo racial. And then what was the other thing? Uh, Oh, the super bowl.

Oh, the super bowl. Uh, well, he's a football player. So he'd be like, maybe you'll get back. It'd be such a good punter that you go to the super bowl. I didn't know. That's terrible. Guess. I have no idea. Well, he's a football player, so maybe you'll get back. He'll be such a good punter that you go to the Super Bowl.

I don't know. That's a terrible guess. I have no idea. Well, spoiler alert. Someone's going to get put in a hard scarf. Let's see what happens. Wow. I'm from Mexico.

Didn't speak English until he was 12. Do you know what part? Yeah, Mexicali. Okay. So I'm pretty close to the border. Yeah, yeah. Super close. My girl's from Guadalajara.

Okay. Is that a Canelo fan? Yeah, big time. Oh, there we go. Dude, it is the Super Bowl every time he fights. Canelo? It's the Super Bowl

every time he fights. These are the fights that he spoils too. Yeah. Mr. Spoiler Alert. Let's not forget. You're in your mom's straight white girl?

She is from Arkansas. Oh, dude, hell yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Put god in the house dude hell yeah that's as white as it gets yeah same dude my my kids are he actually this one i picture my son my oldest tiger looking like when he grows up i text my wife he came and i go this this dude's a dime he's gonna look like my he's gonna look like tiger when tiger's his age um you know you i it's

weird because he lost his train of thought i like how he forgets what he's gonna say no brian today all right dicey dicey i didn't see that no i think we're a little behind on clips too they also didn't release an episode one week i I'm pretty sure, right? Yeah, there was one week that Hab said that there was no Golden Hour and no Shab Show. And he was like, it'll be pretty. I think it was last week, I think. It was going to be pretty light. Well, we got a lot of tabs open right now, baby.

So this one's posted by Toronto Rapture. It's called Brenda Forever Catching Strays B. Nice. I think this is with the guy that he played, or faced in Jiu-Jitsu. Some basics, some moves, you want to maybe show me a choke or a submission, and then after we'll do a round of spawn, a six-minute round. Now let me ask you this. Yes, I've got a white belt, I've got two little stripes there, but I'm an experienced athlete.

How many times do you think you could submit me in six minutes? You? In six minutes? I would say around... I want you trying. Trying for real? Yeah, but not hurting me. Of course. I would say around... I want you trying. Trying for real? Yeah, but not hurting me. Of course. I would say I can submit you at least 20 times.

In six minutes? Oh, easy. Well, I don't know if you know this, but I used to train Brendan Sharpe, and he's a good friend of mine. And I've seen you couldn't get a submission on that guy, so I've seen what he did. Good luck with that.

So I'm going to use his tactics. I'm going to be running around. All right, let's do it. You remember that? Running around. Now, are they going to play the clip? It's just submission after submission after submission. But I'm going to keep trying.

I want to get up. I want to show him that I've got something. I want to try and sweep him. I want to try and get him on his back. And the only way I'm going to do that is by keep trying. So come on, let's do it. The Brennan-Chobb thing didn't work, did it? The Brennan-Chobb thing didn't work.

Of course it didn't, David. Listening to what you just said out loud. Of course the Brennan-Chobb thing didn't work. Oh, you never saw the clip of Brennan-Chobb doing a match versus this bald guy? Maybe, but I, yeah. So basically he just ran around. Brendan Schaub just like kept avoiding his takedowns by running around the cage. And then in the press conference afterwards,

he's like, he didn't do it. He didn't take me down. And Brendan Schaub lost the match, obviously. By cowardly running around. Well, so one way to not get taken down. The Scottish guy reminded me of that. The Scottish guy is like, so you're the CEO

of P.F. Chang's to the B.C.? That's the only thing I can think about. So I heard you're the CEO of P.F. Chang's. So I'm going to use the Brendan Sharp tactic of running around the ring like a coward loser

and not being able to say words. You couldn't get him down. I don't know what that words. You couldn't get him down. I don't know what that was. Yeah, you couldn't get him down. You couldn't get you couldn't get sharp that day, right? But it's like, yeah, well, that's not really that impressive as an idiotic goon. This is another

little dish I ate earlier this week, but I thought it was very funny. It's posted by Uncle T.Y.S. It's called Baba Buys His Son, a copy of Fortnite with an emoji like a crying emoji. I have this on my desk. Right? Yeah. And so then when I

am gaming, then I take my headphones off and it always hits it. Or if I'm really upset, because I get angry when I'm gaming Somebody just sends some dump shit in chat Do you play Fortnite? Yeah

What is it? My son I just got it for him Oh dude But not online Not online though Not online It has to be online

No he's playing not But he's not playing against other people live Then there's no point in playing Really? Then it's not for him. I don't want him online right now. Yeah, I get it. What do you mean?

I don't want him like a headset and some guy like, yeah, let me see your dick. Yeah, he's seven. He's seven. You just turn the chat off. Yeah, you got to monitor it. Oh, you turn the chat off. Yeah, just turn the chat off. You don't have to listen to people.

Take his mic away, you know, whatever. He doesn't have a mic. Yeah. All right. Well, there's no submission for this Take his mic away, you know, whatever. He doesn't have a mic. Yeah. All right. Well, there's no submission for this. But you need to talk shit, though. Shav doesn't understand anything. No.

He doesn't look into anything, how anything works. No. He's like me when I'm like, what's that? On steroids, too. Yeah. Well, you can turn the chat off. You don't know. What? Yeah. Well, do you can turn the chat off? You don't know what, didn't you look into any of the things that you,

like any of the stuff that you've given your son? Like what? Like, can you chat? Is there a microphone? What the game? Is it a single player game? You bought the game.

Now you're just going to not let him play it. No. Well, that's your part of the shop ism. Now you don't buy Fortnite. It's free. Oh, it's completely free.

Yeah. See, I don't have kids. I don't know that. Fortnite is free. Oh, it's completely free? Yeah. See, I don't have kids. I don't know that. Fortnite is free. It's an online-only game. And you can block the chat. So even if you have a kid that's online playing Fortnite, you can not have them talk to you. But didn't he just say he got it for him? Yeah.

So he doesn't even understand that. No, yeah. I assume Fortnite was like an Xbox game or something. It's a multi-platform game. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not a gamer at all, B. Yeah, I don't like Fortnite.

I'm a numbers guy, dude. Yeah. I just go. All right, so this one's posted by Air Pumper. It's called, Chris D'Elia did three hours of therapy every single day. He's such a better person now. Oh, yeah, I've seen this one.

Let's see. You want to talk about a guy who's the poster boy of cancel culture this is how it should work fucking chris delia made some mistakes no doubt man 100 percent anything legal absolutely fucking not learned from it worked on himself does fucking three hours of therapy every therapy therapy such a better person now he should be the poster boy of cancel culture he's a better person better human, better dad. He had a kid throughout all this. I had to make it so fucking hard. I knew Chris before all this happened.

Chris was tough, man. He was a dark soul and just tough. Not a real human being. He was a bit of a narcissist. Not a real human being? That sounds like a really bad person to be around, Brandon. That's the thing. Like the,

uh, one of my comic friends was saying is shop is like a moron surrounded by evil. Yeah. That's how he looks at it. Shop for, for everything. He is not clear whether he's actually like a horrible person. He's just like a moron,

but he's like potentially around some of the worst comedians that exist. And then, so he's around them and they're like doing these awful things. And he's like, wow, that's really bad. You shouldn't do that. But can you imagine somebody giving advice like shop?

And like, I think you should try therapy. You're like, what? Yeah. Therapy. You should try therapy. And you don't know what he's talking about.

You're like, is that a kind of fighting? Yeah. What is that? Therapy. Betterhelp.com. Better help yourself help my marriage let's see listen i love him and he's so talented i fucking love him now chris is a real dude man salt of the earth would do anything for you man i love that he says he wasn't a real person. Real dark soul. What a hilarious way to describe a friend.

I thought this one was pretty funny. It's not a video, but it's just a picture of a tweet that Brendan put up. It's posted by CP2075. It's called What Kind of Questions? And it's Brendan Shaw tweeting, Yeah, they can. UFC controls it. The media scrum is like a White House conference now.

Cake cup questions. What does that mean? That's the game. Not mad at it. It's their company. You know. Oh, cupcake questions. Wow.

I had to think about that one. Not mad at it. That's another Shawbism when he's like, I'm not mad at. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's go to the next one. This one's posted by Ivar the Bone. It's called,

Add this to the endless list of reasons why Bapa isn't invited to the mothership. How many chigs you fucked, though? And I talk about it like three times a week. I can't even believe it's real. Oh, dude. The culture. It's a culture. It's a real scene.

I promise you, Tony said this, and I didn't realize it. Tony said this, man. I was talking to Ferguson the other day, man. He told me, man, the promise you, Tony said this, and I didn't realize it. Tony said this, man. I was talking to Ferguson the other day, man. He told me, man, the most shit, dude. Real culture out there. This is what I thought Sorgon Bird looked like before he came.

This is the guy that built the ground we walk on. Yeah, I agree. He said it afterwards when we were leaving. He was like, nobody was in that room talking about bitches. Nobody was in that room talking about money. They were in there talking about bitches nobody was in that room talking about money they were in there talking about comedy yeah they were all in there just like kind of ragging on the show and reliving it just it was just cool yeah it is cool the only other time i ever well yeah i see that's

not a room for boppa no no talk of numbers yeah i've got of large guys being able to fit in cars of any size yeah in any facet yeah And if there's no sinks in that room, Bob is not going to sink. Dude, it sounds kind of boring to me, dude. Yeah. I need a little bit of Papa talk.

I bet you Brent or Joe was like, I'll let Baba come through or whatever. And then you heard about the sinks. He's like, no, there's sinks. We can't have that sinks in the green room. Can't have that.

All right. This one's posted by Gringo ploppy back to some more, uh, Chris Dali of content. It's called check the most recent video diddler has put in youtube and he seems shook uh okay chip includes unrelated dish which i i'll just leave the chip playing and whatever the unrelated dishes are stupid though yeah okay all right let's see what happens here whatever you say chin oh you're in a mad Tell everybody why you got in a bad mood. He got in a bad mood right before we started recording,

and I could tell he was about to fucking blow up. Oops, I take back that F word. And you know what I did instead? I said, guys, I'm getting frustrated. Can we just start the show? Yeah, but I could... Because maybe because I'm your brother, I knew. Already, before that.

That you were on the precipice of exploding. But my point is... Before that, yes. But the look on you, I was like, I know that look. But the reason, yes, of course you do, but the reason why I said I'm frustrated

can we start a show was to let people know I get it, dude. A storm's a coming. This is like a horror movie with two D'Elias. Yeah. They're just talking

the same way. Here's the unrelated news. A storm's a coming. Meanwhile. yeah i mean this is the best of chang's just the randomness and putting different dishes together you know you're a chef so you're in the kitchen and you're trying all this crazy shit. It's really like being a real chef. You got one, let's say orange chicken is like Delia and the Diddler stuff. And then maybe you've got something that you don't normally put with orange chicken, like some eggplant thing is Chrysler screaming. And then you're like, oh, wait a minute.

But that movie, they're just working on a whole, it's like, what does Rogan say? 4D chess? You know? Oh, yeah. It's like 4D chess, dude. That's how they see it, dude. I mean, we can't even, you know, it's pretty great.

They don't matter. Oh, really, dude? All right. So this next one's posted by Gringo Ploppy. It's called Sklob Says It's Good. George didn't mention the pain he was going through when his brother died because he would have made fun of it. Oh, God.

And the under comment says, I think Shlob is thiefering something Steve Harvey said about comedians having jokes ready at the time of tragedies like 9-11. But Steve also said, have to wait until time has passed. Let's see. When I was was younger my parents took me to many they almost took my gallbladder out because I had such a pain

every day it was after my brother passed wow and right before surgery they were like maybe not, let's hold off I was at the hospital in Chicago look how cool it is that he can talk about it now, which we wouldn't have done. He lost 400 pounds.

He used to be 400 pounds. Fuck, really? I was 400. Good for you, dude. Proud of you, man. Thank you. But it's like, he wouldn't have felt comfortable talking about that a year ago. No, we would have made fun of him.

Right. He wouldn't have done it. I had jokes right now. He was getting 400 pounds. I had jokes in the chamber right now, but I was like, you know what? It was funny, Jay, when you talk. I would love to hear what the jokes in the chamber right now, but I was like, you know what? It would be funny, Jay, when you talk. I would love to hear what the jokes in the chamber are, what they actually are.

That'd be so great. Unload the chamber, Doug. Please, yeah. Don't ever hold anything back. Just go, as you say, Job. Because anyone else would be like, yeah, don't say that. Don't make fun of this guy's brother dying. But, Job, you know it's going to be so dumb that you want to hear it.

Yeah. and this guy says, brother dying, but Shob, you know it's going to be so dumb that you want to hear it. Now it's like a masterpiece piece of literature we'll never get to read. A great film we'll never be to see. If I said I had something stupid to say, you would do it. You know it was me. I'm a dumbass. This next one is posted

by ChemicalDiver66. It's called, Brenda calls teenage boy a quote dime piece dicey dicey oh god let's see in the original video but here's the kid who won little dime piece too what are we doing here papa weird? Weird. Okay, Mr. Whole Foods, dude. That was strange. Yeah, weird. The sign keeps falling. The sign is like, no more diddler.

Yeah. I've had enough. I'm finished. Well, that sign's like, I'm finished. I'm done. Yeah. All right. Well, sorry, sign, but we got more diddler.

Sorry, sign. This one's posted by Groundstone. It's called Portuguese, quote, women had a we got more diddler. Sorry, sign. This one's posted by Groundstone. It's called Portuguese, quote, women had a hunch about the diddler. Well, I don't know why they're all Portuguese, though. It's hilarious. Like the Portuguese 12-year-old women, girls, are ruthless. They're like, you don't fucking know, you piece of shit. But it's all broken.

It's like, it would say something on the thing like I would never trust you scum and you're like trust me what the fuck are you talking about that has nothing to do with this I'm making a joke about Selena

oh my Snapchat's real fun so follow me there is it though is it though Portuguese apparently the girls there know knew before everybody else that the scandal was broken that's the truth serum dude

I would never trust you scum man dude it's like so sad and dark I would never trust you, scum. Hey, Sito! Man, dude. It's like so sad and dark, but also hilarious to watch the clips of him screaming. Yeah. They play like a clip where he's just embarrassing himself for something sad. And then it's like, oops!

Like a clown, dude. God. All right, so here we go. This is posted by Rhonda Axe Axe. It's called Brennan has D'Elia's defense attorney responding to the Joe. Oh, Brennan playing D'Elia's defense attorney responding to the judge.

She's a minor. She's not though. Now she's not. Now she's not though. Would they, when the, hold on. Now she's not.

Yeah, but now she's not. Shabby. Feel sorry for me. He's so stupid. He may not understand. We're in that comedy store merch too. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I'm sure they love that. She's not a guy. She's not though. Like that's the, that's what the store wants an image of them out there. Like this guy who's arguing. Yeah.

But like years have passed since then. So like she was underage when it happened, but now, especially even with Australia rules, you ever hear about Australia? Seven days a week? Seven days ahead? Continent, not the state.

So I don't know. Brian, he's like, Brian's stupid. He's like explaining as if Brian is wrong in the situation. But listen, years have passed. She's 18 now. Dicey, dicey. All right. So this was posted by Chainbanger.

It's called having trouble selling tickets. I got you be. Here's where we get. Here's where we get a little dicey. Okay. Warner Theater, Washington, D.C. That's another big boy. 1900.

I've been on sale six months. Got about 350 tickets. That's a honor. That's a tough. Now that I would cancel. I'm very, that's February. People watch it. You heard now that I would cancel. I'm very, that's February. That's a very liberal city. People watch it.

You heard Brendan. I would cancel. I miss it. Sorry. He said I would cancel. Okay, gotcha. See, you might get a Chris Scott covid email.

That's what I told him. Then we got what I told him to do. He doesn't understand. He's been made fun of. Here's another fun one. Then the very next day, February 12th, we got the tab's what I told him to do. He just doesn't understand he's being made fun of. Here's another fun one. Then the very next day, February 12th, we got the tabernacle here in Atlanta. Another big boy.

We're 2,100, and we got 235 tickets. That's a Trump city. So he's not... So, like, this was before Schaub was doing all that shit? I'm sure Schaub did it, but I'm not... I think Chris is just going. Okay. Because it would be funny if Shop, either one would be funny,

if Shop got the idea from that. Yeah. Like he's like, oh, Chris is telling me a good idea. I keep not selling out. Maybe I should just cancel. Yeah. Or he doesn't realize that Chris is like making fun of him. You might get a Chris Scott canceled email.

Yeah. It's like he's talking about all the stuff that Shop does. Keeping you busy. All right. Well, let's go talking about all the stuff the shop does. Keeping you busy. Alright, well let's go to the last dish for today, dude. It's a long one. It's called The Most Redacted Defenses Ever Heard Bapa Is Fired Up.

Posted by PlayfulWolverine95. I'm going to fire you the fuck up in your terrible sweatshirt. I'm going to fire you up even though you look like that. But this is a moss green. Before i go on this rant this could happen to any one of your friends your family members your brother's son anyone take this in for a second the second all-american ever out of san diego state unanimous all-american his nickname not given by unanimous unanimous unanimous did you use is this the one

where he says hystocracy or whatever i don't know because in one of the clips instead of hypocrisy he says like histocracy or he says no no he says uh instead of atrocious he says hitrocious this is a hetrocious lie let's see yeah pun god isunt God. Is the punt God. The punt God. You piece of shit. I'm fired up you piece of shit. But I. I. No you piece of shit. I'm not arguing that.

No, you're, cause you're part of the problem. The guy can punt. The guy can punt. No, no. It's all here. A lot of guys don't know that. Other leg, other leg I'm left. Other leg, he's left leg.

It's this, it's only that. Which is another advantage. Dude. So they call him the punt God, right? Yeah. The worst, this is including the worst of it all. Cause like when Brian starts doing his stupid like kicking jokes and like, I'm a man.

I can do this and I'm that. That's like the worst of Brian. And then also the flip-flops. And then you have to see the flip-flops too. Second All-American ever at San Diego State. Yeah. Gets drafted as a punter in the sixth round to a team that's going to win a Super Bowl in the next three years.

Skin is smooth as marble. Skin is smooth as marble. Hell yeah. Should have a counter going. All the things are going to come out here. Marvel. Is that what you were going to say next? Of course.

Thank you. Half Mexican. Half Mexican. Does the NFL use more Mexicans? Mexicans. Worked his entire life for a shot to play in the NFL. Gets drafted as a punter. Unheard of. Gets drafted.

Six-round ref. It would be very funny to have Schaub describe your life. Like, this guy right here, this is Gerardo Alarcon, okay? This guy, okay, he's from Rancho Cungamonga. He's full Taco Bell meskin.

Or whatever he would say. However he'd describe you. I wonder what you'd have to ask him. How meskin do you see me? Yeah, I wish he would describe me. Dude kicks the shit out of the ball. In his precinct, he kicks the piss out of the ball. And everyone's like, there's the punk God.

His arms are out. The guns are out. He's like this. He's got the guns strong. He has the guns out. I'll never forget that. Marble smooth skin. Have some swag. Marble are out. He's like this. He's got the guns strong. He has the guns out. I'll never forget that. Marble smooth skin. Have some swag. Marble smooth skin.

Ready? Yeah. Girl decides, nah. Nah. Tells a story. He raped me with a bunch of other football players from San Diego State without any evidence. Don't need it. No evidence.

Civil story. There's a story. Buffalo Bills kick him off the team. Right. Hold on. Goes viral everywhere. He loves to interrupt. Hold on.

I'm not done. I have more stuff to say about this. I'm going to repeat the same thing. It's like he allows you to interrupt him, and he's like, ah. Yeah, he stops, you think, and think and then no he's not finished espn rich eyes and very well fox you name it first take everyone shits all over this kid atrocious prosecution does their investigation all this stuff december these files come out kids innocent you know what was not only innocent he wasn't there hold on wasn't at the party wasn't at the we left an hour early okay i'm gonna fire you more wasn't at the party not only is it there's

ever there's sex tapes of her having fun not drunk saying she's 18 on on on tape all this on tape sus tapes sus tapes there's sus tapes comes out in december of last year brian do you hear anything about it no matt knew about it because same thing Did you hear anything about it? No. Matt knew about it, but couldn't say anything. Did you hear anything about it? Why couldn't you say it? No, hold on, B. Last week, finally this gets traction. Brian said it like it was his fault. Why couldn't you say it?

My radar. I blasted out. 10 million views. We got to get Matt on the show. What the fuck? What are we doing here? What happened to him? What are we doing?

Right. This kid's dream was taking from him. Taking from him. All this stuff may have happened to this poor guy. But Shob saying it like this is so funny. I like how he's just, look at Matt's face too. He's just staring off it. He's realizing the mistake he's made.

But Shob describing the worst event in your life is hilarious you just you could just like show this clip to your friends every time you wanted to laugh yeah you all get drunk let's watch the shab tape where he talks about that dark period in my life this would be pretty good every time someone comes over oh have we ever showed you the shab clip where he's like talking about, it makes me feel better. Would you guys like to watch? For no reason. For zero reason.

For zero reason. Oh, we don't live in due process. Let me do you another solid. He could have settled for 50K. Nah, 50K. What? Nah. Could have settled.

Nah. Okay, Mr. Spoiler Alert. Because then he looks guilty because in the court of the public, the public opinion... It's Spoiler McGee. Oh, Spoiler McGee. Boater Alert! 50 mil, we can start having a conversation.

50 mil, we can start having a conversation. We can start the conversation. So how do you like... He's going to say, how do you like them apples? I mean, I hope that guy gets justice if this is the case. That's very bad. Yeah. he's going to say how you like them apples how you liking that I mean I hope that guy gets justice if this is the case that's very bad

yep but that's it dude alright well thanks for tuning in join us next week oh one more thing thanks for the hat