10 Minutes of Schaub - Theo Von is LEAVING Brendan Schaub! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #15

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

Fifteenth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Nowadays everybody want to talk like they got something to chin, but nothing comes out when they watch the clip, it's just a bunch of brand new shit. Motherfuckers act like they forgot about Shob. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Shob clips every day. Stop for my favorite time of the week. When you get near Bob, I try to speak. Release surprises today. You better act fair.

Watch 10 minutes of Shob. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Hope you like that new song we got. I want to shout out to Chris Robinson from At CR Guitar. He volunteered to give us a theme song for 10 Minutes of Shop. We really appreciate that. I want to make it my ringtone, dude.

Yeah, I mean, it's a great song. The next time you tune in to 10 Minutes of Shop, I may have no money left over this Canadian huckster, but that's not why you're here. You came here to see Tim as a Shop, so let's start the clip now. So the first clip is called Ayahuasca equals shrooms followed by a series

of poorly crafted and slowly placed lives. I got invited on that Ayahuasca trip that they went on and I couldn't go. Brian did an Ayahuasca trip. He did? I don't't go but brian did an ayahuasca trip he did yeah have i don't want to ruin the story have brian tell you the story you especially you you will laugh your ass off really bro he couldn't tell the story on air but he told me off air bro i was laughing so why couldn't he tell it on air uh

yeah because i guess i don't know how shrooms work. He did something very bad to someone else in it. He did a hero's dose, six grams. The boy met Satan himself. Did he? Yep. Satan was like, hey, my name's Brian. Satan was black.

And he said he couldn't stop farting. Really? Yeah. So he was out of control't stop farting. Really? Yeah. So he was out of control. He was just farting. Imagine that's like the story that you thought was good. I mean, there's no way it's true. But let's suspend our disbelief for a second and say it is true. He was like, oh, man, Brian told me the story about how he was doing mushrooms and dude he couldn't stop farting dude actually that does sound pretty

funny it sounds like you know like the one upper guy yeah yeah yeah he's just the only thing that he could think of in that moment is like uh he like blank he was like but yeah he farted a lot which is actually pretty good for shop so I'm going to give him credit there. At least he didn't make Brian gay. That was his go-to. Alright, so this one is called The Rogan Push Ain't What She Used To Be. Alright, before you play it,

the reason I picked this is just because of what he does at the beginning. I just thought that was hysterical. Okay, so don't play the whole thing. No, we can play the whole thing. It's not that long, is it? No. Yeah. Just watch what he does at the beginning. Let's get back to the program.

It's worth it just for that. It's so good. Play that again. Let's get back to the program. I had to take off all my clothes. That's Jim Carrey coming out right there, dude. Oh, my God. That's like if I was a drug addict and putting like Shob straight into my veins

like when he does stuff like that this fucking idiot moron why? he knows people are going to make fun of him and he does it anyways or maybe he does I don't even know at this point did they say anything else in it? it's probably bad

yeah it's bad it has to do with them being redacted. So should have listened to Eddie B. Oh, he saw this subreddit coming a long time ago. Yeah, this one is interesting. I like this one. By far. Well, you know, Cade Velasquez is up in there.

Oh, yeah. Cade has a mask on, for God's sakes, right now. Still, he's still in the mix, right? Is he in the mix? No, he just got, you know, he came back and got starched. Is he still there? No contract? But is he done?

I don't know. He said right now he's focused on the Nacho Libre stuff, and then he's going to, you know. Watch your mouth, man. Is that what it's called? Nacho Libre? I'm not even trying to be funny. Lucha Libre. Nacho Libre's the movie.

Dude. Yeah, that's a Jack Black movie. Dude, we're going to have a fan, like, Gerardo's legit offended. I'm not offended. I don Libre is the movie. Dude. That's a Jack Black movie. You're going to get offended. Dude, we're going to have to offend. Like, Gerardo's legit offended. I'm not offended. I don't blame you. Curtis Williams. I know you're not, but you're shocked.

Actually, what are you? You made a face like. It's another one of Brendan trying to be funny, but it's not funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was trying to cover it up like he wasn't trying to be funny. He realized how bad it was. At least he did that but nacho libre twice awful it's it's like a i wonder if that's a precursor to pico de gallo

i wonder if that's before or after because it was before if you did the nacho libre joke and then which actually which is that no it's got to be before that's way hilarious to me if you're talking if you're talking if you're doing pico de gallo and all that stuff and joe rogan's just drunk as fuck laughing and he's like this is a keeper dude yeah joe rogan's high out of his mind i'm like what what's a uh the crazy shit oh yeah this is the stand-up clip these are frustrating because it's hard to make them full screen yeah sorry but it's like you because it's hard to make them full screen.

Yeah, sorry, but it's like, you know, it's golden shop. Oh, really? I'm not really. Golden shop, dude. Here we go. Remember Love is Blind on Netflix? Of course. It's a dating show on Netflix.

Is there going to be a gay joke? I don't think so. But you never know and if you ask what the girl looks like it looks like squid games there's nothing better than watching these bros walking this landline filming making sure they don't ask what those pictures look like this guy that's showing shake he's the worst right he's the worst but also the best's the worst. But also the best, right? He's like the Joker from The Dark Knight. You hate him, you're like, shit. He's a complete dick.

You pair him up with this thick girl. I don't mean like, bend this down a little thick. I mean like, diabetes or ankle set. She sounds like Charlotte Johansson, so he has no idea. So this is how it goes. She goes, what do you like to do? He goes, working out is my life. I wake up in the morning, hit the ground running.

I drink carrot juice, I go to work. I come back, I work out again. She goes, you like to work out? She goes, no, I hate to sweat. What he's doing right now is literally just describing an episode of a show yeah that he watched that's a reality show and no jokes nothing just describing it and i want you to know that he's going to continue to do that until the end just so you know and then this one is interesting because they didn't add laugh tracks this time They did the cut thing that we do on videos that everybody does on TikTok and Reels. But they do it terribly. Yeah, it's not done very well. And then they add in awful animations or whatever.

But you can tell this is not going well. So it's kind of funny that they picked a clip. No one's laughing. There's laughs in the corner. Someone's like, ah, because their friend made them laugh. Somebody's getting tickled in the corner. Yeah. Someone's like, cause their friend made them laugh. Right. Somebody's getting tickled in the corner. Yeah.

You're telling me if I was going to work out, you wouldn't come with me. I mean, if you want to lift me up on your shoulders, my bum goes, right, right, right. Can I lift you up on my shoulders?

Isn't it shocking that that's the whole thing? Well, yeah. The premise is that they're trying to walk around the landmine that you can't ask, are you fat? But if what he's saying is true, I'm taking him at his word here. There's no joke. He just says what the guy says at the end. Like the guy guessed that she's like, could I put you on my shoulders? If that's actually what's in the

show, Jesus Christ. It is what's in the show. I saw that scene. But I also have seen Brendan Schaap talk about this in a green room on a vlog once. The same exact bit. This is from the podcast. Jeez. Yeah, it's like all the bits that he talks about they end up on yes instagram just bombing i mean it's crazy how 90s he looks like all this this whole

thing looks so 90s the yellow hat the purple backdrop orange you know it looks like a fresh prince of bel-air spin-off gone wrong yikesikes. Dicey dicey. Oh, really, dude? It finally happened. Theo has left Bapa behind like a toot in the wind. Oh, really, dude? Now this is the big news from our 10-minute segment. Yes, sir. Here it goes.

Then I got some sad news. I'm going to be taking a step back from being on King and the Sting. Oh, really, dude? I just want to thank you guys for just being a part of my life and letting this show be a part of your life.

You know, I'm grateful to you, Brendan, man. I appreciate it. And yeah, today was a lot of fun. The King in the steaks, brother. Yeah, it was the best. Today was awesome. Funniest guy I know.

Thanks, bro. I appreciate that, man. Sorry, Sean. We've been doing what, four years? I don't know. Has it been that long? I love that he doesn't know. It's so funny that he doesn't know.

Has it been that long? I wish it was less than that. Because you suck so much. You just got to handle some shit, brother. There's a bigger thing for you out there. I don't know. I don't know what it is exactly, man. I mean, it's sad.

I feel sad about it. Not too sad, though. But it's still an exciting show, and there, it's sad. I feel sad about it. Not too sad, though. But it's still an exciting show, and there's great people here. I'm joining the Nacho Libre League. I'm so sad that I'm wearing a backwards hat. I think that that's important, that it's a great show still. I'm sure this is gang gang. Yeah, grateful for Chris and Eric and everyone.

Yeah, and for people to enjoy, man. It's a die-dash show. Yeah, and for people to enjoy, man. It's a dad-dad show. Yeah, I love you guys. Thank you so much. There'll be some times where I'll pop back in, you know, but I just don't want to kind of leave that in the lurch. I feel like I've left it there for a while, and I probably made it uncomfortable as a listener maybe.

Brandon keeps calling me gay. If you were dad, I would be happy about it. I'd be sure of it. Anyway, thank you guys, man. I love be happy about it but I'm saying though so anyway thank you guys man I love y'all and I love you bro I love you bro

you know that gang gang alright guys bug bug for old times I should have done this in the middle of the show but for old times

maybe when I eat I'll eat a hot chip I'm down I don't want that I don't want that I love how he's so serious for old times he that guy that guy is not my favorite guy I don't want that. I don't want that. He's so serious. For all times he won it. That guy is now my favorite guy. I don't know

what his name is. He's not Chin. But he goes, all the time you want to eat a bag of chip or eat a chip. It's like, dude, get the fuck How are you saying that while serious? Yeah. Unreal. Alright, we have three more clips. So, Brandon on the fence about incest

oh yeah that's what's weird what's up king in the sting in the wing and the sing uh it's your boy nick coming at you from southern ontario and i got a king or sting it uh dating your cousin let me clarify um i live in an area with a lot of Mennonites in the area. Oh, no, no. You don't know what Mennonites are. Oh, yeah. So a lot of us are related to each other. We actually have a website devoted to figuring out how closely related you are to someone so you don't get.

His joke there, his riff for this kid talking about potential incest, and it says something about his community having Mennonites. He says that he thought Mennonites were zombies. That's his joke there. Just got to say it out loud. Oh, really, dude? Oh, really, dude. Too close from the family tree with the relationship.

Yeah, branch buddies, they call them. Yeah, the line I've usually heard in the area. Third cousin is all right. Second cousin, what you doing? First cousin, that's against God. Yep. Well. It's like, what?

He's like, well, actually, let's hear it. But I don't know. And then look at how, like, happy Theo is in these clips. And he's like, branch buddies. He's like, can't wait. He's like, ah, weight off my shoulder. I can leave now. Sorry, little old bag of chip. brains buddy. He's like, can't wait. He's like, ah, wait off my shoulder. I can leave now. Yeah. Sorry.

Little old bag of chip. You know me. I don't watch any TV shows. He's always talking about TV shows he watches. Yeah, well, this is just him being stupid. That's why, yeah. I will tell you that I wanted to audition for Anchorman before Steve Carell. Anybody knew Steve Carell? Nobody knew him.

I will the office no Anchorman was before that no no no yeah it was a long it was before that 2004 yeah

and then type in type in March 2005 yeah there you go around the same time around the same time that was just funny cause like

it's not even that I agree it's not really that big a deal. It's one year. Yeah. But it's always Bapa with the confidence when he's wrong. Yeah. He's like, no, no, no.

Listen to me. It's like, but you've been right maybe 50% of your life, right? At some point, you got to think maybe I'm wrong, right? But not him. I can't wait till betting becomes legal in California. We could do over-unders on if Bapa's right. Yeah, if that prop passes, that's going to be a huge change for Chang's. And this one says, honestly, what is wrong with this dude?

Oh, yeah, this one's great. It's high bar. I don't know if you know this about me, but I actually sold beef for a while. Oh, you used to sell beef? Yeah, I would sell it. Like full cows? Mine's upside down. I'd probably blame that on the handlers.

I wouldn't sell the entire side of beef. I actually would process it up. Oh, damn. Was that a good gig? I feel like it would be a good gig in Kansas City. Not really. There's no money in food. There's just so many weird things that people wouldn't do.

The full cow thing is weird. The fact that Kansas, like I feel like that would be a good job in Kansas city. What do you know about Kansas city? Why are you saying that'd be a good job? And then the blaming the handler, I blame the handler. He does this bit where he's constantly blaming his staff for things.

It's like, he doesn't like them or they're fucking him over. They're helping him out. He's a moron. He's built this empire. It has to, in some way, been with help from staff. Constantly like, this staff's stupid. They can't even put the bug on. His face is hilarious.

His hair looks hilarious. He did his hair up all nice. He's wearing his best Dodgers jersey for this woman who's married. He's like, can you walk me to my trash? Here's the thing about Calum, I do eat

beef. It's one of my favorite food on the Commonwealth diet. Look at this stupid energy drink. It's not even like Monster. It's Rain energy drink. Fucking moron, dude. It's like a transformer. That's the level of brain power that this guy has. Children's movie energy drink. Fucking moron, dude. It's like a transformer. That's the level of brain power that this guy has. Children's movie energy drinks.

That's for his audience of dumb commenters. All the guns on Joe Rogan. Look at that stupid. All the guns because Joe Rogan's being hunted by the fucking, he's so fucking stupid.

By the Bluegrass. I'm on carnivore diet usually so I eat a ton of red meat but cows are fucking cute it's really hard especially when we have bottle calves that either lose their mom or their mom doesn't accept them and then you form a relationship

it's easier when it's just like a herd and I'm moving them we just call them by their number and we don't generally eat the ones that we have at our place, but every once in a while. Sometimes. My husband's vicious with it too.

Is he? But did he grow up in that culture? Yeah. Yeah, it's something you gotta grow up. He's like, you know who you're eating

right now, Tim? That's Betsy. That night Betsy slept in the bed next to us. Right. We nursed her back to health. Right. I shot Betsy in the face.

Savage. I mean, hey man. That's pretty funny though. I would laugh at face. I mean, hey, man. That's pretty funny. I would laugh at that. I don't know. I didn't laugh. Just shooting Betsy in the face is funny. But where does he get Betsy from?

Betsy the cow. I guess. I don't know. We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. Because Betsy is like the kids named the cow Betsy, so they have this connection. Listen, I will call 911 right now and get you an ambulance

if you're starting to laugh at shop clips. Mom, my truck. I'll walk you right to your truck. All right. Is there any... That's it. That's the last one. I think we probably did...

We did 10 minutes. We definitely did 10 minutes. Listen, thanks again to Ad CR Guitar. The Discord is growing, so definitely check out the Discord. We're fucking chopping it up in there. Chopping it up. Chopping it up.

Chopping it up. I got an argument on the Discord. You did? Yeah. About what? Gotta join the sea, dude. Uh-oh, there you go. See you next week.