10 Minutes of Schaub - We've been into Brendan Schaub for a HOT SECOND! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #101

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

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When the views are down And the show is bad And the cliff is the only chin we'll see No, I won't be gadooshed Oh, I won't be gadooshed Just as long as you walk, truck walk me. So Annie, Annie truck walk me. Oh truck walk me.

Oh truck, truck walk me. Truck walk me. Truck walk me. One, two. It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get to hear Papa try to speak. Release surprises today. You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop.

Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon, join the Reddit, join the Discord. On the Patreon, the latest thing we actually did was 18 minutes of Gerardo Alarcon stand-up. We've also got eight minutes of Brennan Cooney doing stand-up. Oh, that's right. It was my return to Flapper's Comedy Club. Ever heard of it? So if you want to see that, how that went, got to join the Patreon, deity. But, oh, actually, we'd plug our shows as always.

May 17th, I'm headlining Basement Dwellers. And the tickets are on Eventbrite, which is also on my profile. So get those. I'm doing May 29th at the Paradise Room. And then June 6th and 7th in San Diego at the Mic Drop. Yeah. If you want to see us do stand-up, go to those. But anyways, that's not why you're here. You're here to watch 10 Minutes

of Shop, so start the timer. Play the chain clip. Okay, so this week is a lot of reheats, as they say at Chang's. Right. You know what I mean? Also, a lot of fucking redacted shit that happened this week, dude. Which, you know,

par for the course when you're talking about Shaab. A mix of both, Dady. Yeah. A lot of hot Cheetos, though, for sure. Let's see here. This is posted by Jabronified. These homo sapiens will light you up, B. And it's scientists reveal the face of a Neanderthal who lived 75,000 years ago.

As you can see, it is Shaab. Yeah. I saw the original. Well, I've seen articles like this before you know and so i saw this and i laughed because it's shab and i knew immediately that it's not real chang scientists made this discovery right but oathman texted me this being like lol he thought it was real oh so did shab i think or at least she shared it right which we may get to later i don't know if you pull it up oh no i'm. I'm just, this is the only thing. Oh, okay, good. But yeah, he does

share it on his socials. Yeah. But let's be honest, dude. That looks like a Neanderthal. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's how people fell for it. Someone shared it. I don't know if who shared it on Twitter if they really thought it was real, but they were like, wow or whatever. And then Shob shared it being like, man, that's my face.

Come on, bro. Be cool. He says he doesn't like the fucking subreddit, but then he shares it. What's going on there? He's peering it both ways. No, he loves it, dude. Yeah. He's redditing it. He's searching his name.

Dude, we're attention whores, dude, which leads me to my next clip. And it's the Gringo Poppy homage, a two-year anniversary celebration. We made it to the top of Chang's. Posted by Haphazard. Shout out to that guy. Give me a fucking high five. Yeah, brother. I'm not speaking for you. I'm honored to

be a baller. Are you honored? I'm honored, dude. I wish I would have sent him one without the Patreon plugs. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Well, it was we posted it and then Haph was like, I'm going to post this. And we're like, all right.

And, but then, yeah, it has Patreon on it. We did get Gadoosh for that. That makes sense though. Yeah. Doesn't count. First, biggest comment is one take, dude. Hell yeah, dude. Oh, yeah.

And then that, that also is awesome because that means people are watching the show and they don't know about the one take. Fucking employee of the month. Guy's doing the best he can with shitty material. Laughed. Loves energy. There's one guy laughing so hard in the crowd. He must be homeless.

Yeah. I think that was. Kevin Fard? No. Although Fard laughed really hard at the North Korea. North Korea with the beach. Because I sat down and he was like, what was that? And I was like, oh, I was doing shop.

And he's like, oh. And then there's a pause. He's like, does he really say LA is North Korea without a, without a beach? And I was like, yeah. And he laughed pretty hard again. Yeah.

Yeah. Dude. Uh, another thing too is like you, you do jokes like ever heard of it, or there was one time you were bombing at the fourth wall and you said, big Dick, sorry about that.

And then Kevin Farr came up after you and was like, did he just say he has a big Dick? What the hell was that? He was like, you got a big Dick Cooney. And I was like, no, no, I, a big dick? What the hell was that? He was like, you got a big dick, Cooney? And I was like, no, no. It grew into that. He did his whole five minutes about big dicks.

And at the very end, he was like, so, Cooney, how big is it? You're like, it's a shop reference. I told him when he said that. I said it's a shop reference. But I was like, listen, I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you. I'm not going to fucking put sugar all over your dick and tell you it's delicious. He's like, what the hell's the matter with you, Cooney? Not that we matter.

We don't count. We don't matter. But we do appreciate it. It has been very fun to do Gringo Papi at random open mics. Yeah, because people don't know that some people don't know what it is. Yeah. And they don't know what I'm doing. So it's very, it is a little bit, I do get a little bit nervous.

I'm like, wow, people really think that I would say, you know, like, like she's not a taco bell mexican you know she's guadalajara yeah born and raised okay i came here 10 years ago illegally like i would not actually say that dude the the second time the second five minutes we do or you did yeah when you were like uh she's a guadalajara mexican this dude in the front just started speaking Spanish. Remember that? Yeah, Blaze. Blaze. Yeah, that was.

I don't think he cares. He was affirming what you said. He's like. Yeah. I would say insane things that Chob says. And he'd be like, oh, yeah. I was like, your girl's spicy, right? He's like, oh, definitely.

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, man. But, you know, it's totally why. Also, it's both of us because you mic'd me up before. Yeah. Like a coach. Remember to turn that on. Yeah.

And then you film it and then it gets the magic. That's how the magic happens. That's the fucking BTS right there, daddy. Baby. This one's posted by Joyous Diversion 2. It's called How Soon Before Bappa Starts His Christianity Grift. Inspired by a recent video of the king of grifters, Hulk Hogan, Joyous Diversion 2. It's called How Soon Before Bapa Starts His Christianity Grift. Inspired by a recent video of the king of grifters, Hulk Hogan,

who's recently began banging the Christianity drum. I'm wondering how long it'll take Bapa to run out of vaguely manly pursuits and fall at the feet of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Great guy. Just met him. Also, he is the head of Joel Osteen in this photo. I'm more interested almost in the Hulk Hogan is doing a Christianity thing, so he's like, you believe in Jesus, brother? Yeah. Brother

works well with that, I think. Don't they say brother? Yeah. Christians and all that? I don't know. What do you think? Do you think Bapa's going to go Christianity? Yeah. It's only a matter, it's more of a when than an if. Hey, Satan, you bloodbustle. Yeah, exactly, dude. Dude, I bet you Satan's shaking his britches, dude, waiting bloodbustler. Yeah, exactly, dude. Dude, I bet you Satan is shaking in his britches, dude,

waiting for Bapa to join God's team, dude. For non-believers out there, Grim Reaper might come a-knocking, right? He might, you know how many times I need Jesus?

Seven times a week. I can't wait until Bapa starts dropping Bible verses on TFATK and he's going to butcher them. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All those names, I mean, I have trouble with those names. Like Phoenicians or something and he's going to butcher them. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All those names.

I mean, I have trouble with those names. Like Phoenicians or something. That's going to be hard for him. He's like chapter two, verse eight, Corinthians. Thou shalt not be black, but sir. Yeah, Corinthians, Exodus. Yeah.

I mean, John, Paul, Mark, and Luke. I'm scared of those names too. Those names are going to fucking keep them busy for sure. Luke. Luke. Yeah, Luke. This is Luke's. Do you remember when John the Baptist went up to Luke and was like,

what are we doing here? Right. Yeah, that's right. He'd get that wrong though too. John the Captivist, dude. Something. Yeah. No, I can see it.

Yeah. It'll be fun. I hope he does. Listen, we're open-minded, dude. We'll hear him I can see it. Yeah. It'll be fun. I hope he does. Listen, we're open-minded, dude. We'll hear him out, his pitch.

Okay, so this is, a lot of picture posts this week. This was posted by Snotty Pippin. It's called, I'm still doing, going to be doing spots around LA. And it's just this picture.

I wonder, man, I haven't really checked up on it. What are the Chang's people? Have they found what spots he's doing? Has he done standup recently? I don't think he's doing stand-up, dude. That's too bad because, you know, we want another Gringo Poppy.

You'll see later. There's been a development on his Twitter where I don't think he's doing stand-up. But he's still got to be enough of a draw to do these local shows. Why not? That's fun. I want to see more stand-up. Yeah. Is that your fucking takeaway?

I don't want him not to do stand-up. That fucking sucks ass. We've been fighting about this. Maybe we've been too hard on him, Changs. Like, I want stand-up from Boppa. Maybe you don't. We can disagree to disagree. Wrong camera, but yeah.

Disagree to disagree. Disagree to disagree. And the wrong camera. Double. Double hit. You sunk my battleship, bro. Dear Cooney, you're so dumb and redacted when it comes to the camera placements. I picked up the big.

Let's see this. Okay, so here we go, dude. I love this part of the show, dude, when it comes to BC. Oh, yeah, the man. You know what I'm saying? Be CEO, dude. The CEO just goes Lumumba. Zero.

Let's see what this is about. Luke, finally, the sequel to Let's see what this is about. Luke, finally, the sequel to Tiger Thick Whiskey is here. Magical penis wine. If you're listening at home, there is a bottle of something here from, I don't

know if it's... Japan. Some Asian country and it's called Magical Penis Wine. Yeah, that is wow. it's called magical penis wine yeah that is uh wow that's what they were having at that uh bkfc press it'll give you a ozempic face i hear magical penis wine is so funny in and of itself yeah but you know a little garnish of bopper related big dissing yeah don't don't let me catch your thick dissing right so sneak dissing Yeah Don't let me catch Your thig dissing Right So sneak dissing

Yeah Thig dissing Straight talk wireless That's hilarious Dear Brenton Your whiskey's black Busser Dear Dallas

My My My whiskey Is different If you guys don't know We're We're referencing Meet the Grams

By Kendrick Lamar Oh yeah Yes yes Where we do the deer and then whatever dear callan wait till she says yes to try to sleep with it that's the best thing to do for you i want to get you i want to get you sexy i want to grab you squeeze you i'm trying to do robbie doing callan because i honestly robbie's count robbie doing callan is funnier than yeah most of the impressions i've heard all right so this next one's posted by MoneyLum1864. You just said, I love Callan.

No, I said of Callan. Oh, okay. It's called, Eric got that I don't give a fuck energy, or I don't give a fuck anymore energy bee. Let's see this. Oh, look who we hit. Oh, we thought you were going to be super late. Rush Virginia.

We just started. Oh, you tie-tied. I mean, I had an early flight, and then it was a late night. I did Kill Tony last night. So it was like just hanging out, you know what I mean? Yeah. End of the day, though, pretty good run. Yeah, it was great.

You kept flying in from Kill Tony, coming to a podcast. But I did, the mothership was great this weekend my god that club is beautiful oh cool yeah so i did that all weekend and then the kill tony and and that was bananas yeah that song was the slap song and then any and i mean this any other nelly song sucks donkey no no no nelly has some name one i gotta i can name a few we i need him ride with me he doesn't know another nelly song was it uh nelly and the saint lunatics right wow just saying other people yeah rezavel johnson

from family matters just fucking completely different people no that's his that was his group yeah i know bro you're pulled today man oh no papa just walks into it every time yeah it's like name another wu-tang clan song he's like or name another method man song he's like, name another Wu-Tang Clan song. He's like, or name another Method Man song. He's like, well, like Wu-Tang Clan, right? Is it, was that? I'm like, no, a song. And he pretends like he doesn't know what they're saying. Literally just another song. Let's see, country grammar, a pimp juice.

Pimp juice. Remember, you got my pimp juice. I'm going to let it loose. I don't know why I'm proving that I know more Nelly songs. Yeah, I don't know. You got pretty redacted. I thought I mattered let it loose. I don't know why I'm proving that I know more Nelly's things. Yeah, I don't know. You got pretty redacted. I thought I mattered for a second. You should have just named people he worked with.

Oh, Beanie Man. Chingy. Legs. Legs, yep. Chin. Tarek, Chin. Yeah. Oh, Chinny.

Sanaz. Oh, I thought you were talking about Shop. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Okay. Dude. Murphy Lee. we don't talk about men on earwaves here so it's fine uh let's see here this one's called does papa know pete davidson uh posted by suitable cat cause 4975 we've seen this one maybe like 30 times on this

show but it's uh still funny to this day and very highly upvoted. Yeah. And the subtitle is, I guess they talk every day. Let's see. Do you know Pete? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Sounds like a lie. Right off the bat. That's how a lie sounds.

I want to answer with this. His shirt says, voila. Do you know Pete? Yeah. How do you know pete yeah how do you know it's so i want to answer like that to anything that gets asked me dude that's like yeah that's a good bit yeah did you hear kendrick's yeah you say yeah like that it's a way of like not wanting to continue the conversation right you don't want to follow up question because you're hoping that squashes it yeah but yeah counts as hold my beard yeah counts like wait cool story bro uh just around is he is he hanging

i've never seen him once he goes there sparingly i don't know we just like being cool there's no when you start using words like sparingly that's you're lying sparingly and you take off the hat squeeze it like you're in lying mode you're like should i keep lying or should i fess up to lying but oh i didn't really hear you no i don't know pete like that's like asking him are you wearing socks right now yeah i put him on sparingly this morning taking off the hat yeah he really put on socks sparingly because he doesn't have them on yes uh no well new york is on Saturday Night Live, but he comes out here too. Is he still on SNL?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's great, man. I've always been a fan of him. He's always been nice to me. He's always great to me. Sweet. Oh, yeah.

I love Pete. What else you got? What was the point of that, dude? I don't know. I just noticed that Callan's putting his hand in his mouth now. Dude, it's a goddamn disease, dude. Why do they both do that? We don't do that.

I don't know. You would think it was just like maybe you're in red chairs or you're in a podcast for a long period of time. Maybe you put your fingers in your mouth and that's just a thing you do. But I haven't even done it once. Dude, when I'm editing, I put my fingers in my mouth. Oh, yeah? Pause.

How do you edit if you have your fingers in your mouth? Well, I'm watching you fucking be redacted and I'm like, I put my fingers in my mouth. Oh, yeah? Pause. How do you edit if you have your fingers in your mouth? Well, I'm watching you fucking be redacted, and I'm like, oh, God, oh, God. You have a third podcasting arm that comes out of your stomach and starts editing? You're right, dude. Like, this doesn't feel natural. It's weird. And they're not even, like, doing things with their neck. They're, like, literally—I've said this before.

They also have, like—they have the most nervous energy, though. They're always nervous about what they're going to talk about. Right. Just like, oh fuck. They also got, I'm just noticing this now, a bunch of shoes up there.

Where at? Like the two shoes in the front. One of them has a koala in it. It's a very shoe centric podcast. There is a koala in that shoe right there. My favorite shoes, my favorite koala. Yeah.

I put in my favorite shoes. The koala likes hot Cheetos. I'm more of a talkies guy myself and then there's just a random box in the corner that someone left it looks like there's a fog machine behind them could be

could be could be a zebra head did you see the zebra head yeah wait pause wait a minute

why is there a zebra head on the line there's see the more you watch it's a reheat, the more you watch, it's a reheat, but the more you watch, the more stuff you get. Animals, we got a duck, we got a hawk, they have a zebra head. Duck, hawk, ever heard of them? I think I need a zebra head in the studio. Yeah, let me see.

I think I need that. Yeah, the duck's there. Got Mr. Duck, Mr. Hawk, Mr. Rain. A little homeless cat. A little cat down there. Yeah, we're basically T-Fat K. I'm trying. Yeah.

You know, we stand on the shoulders of giants. Yeah. Let's see. What's the next one we got here, dude? Okay, here we go. This is what I was referencing earlier. Spot the difference. Dicey Dicey posted by hashtagly P-Beast.

I want you to go ahead and read that, sir. Comedy, podcast, whiskey, big gulps, and T-Rex trucks. Smoke, smoke, smoke. Tune down. Big gulps, dude. That's all you need. Yeah. I mean, that's all the good stuff right there.

Yeah. Okay, so I want you to spot the difference, sir. Podcast, whiskey, big gulps, and-rex trucks toontown uh podcast i don't know is it podcast something is taken out from the last one what is it stand up yeah basically dude i didn't even remember saying stand up i just know he stopped doing comedy comedy uh yeah damn dude that, yeah. Damn, dude. That's fucked up. Yeah. So he really is, but it still says comedian. Oh, yeah.

As the job right there, here. Why even take out comedy? You're still doing comedy. He still does jokes on Toontown. Dude, I never laugh harder. So he keeps big gulps, but gets rid of comedy. That's how much big gulps mean to him, dude. Yeah.

I mean, that is one of the funnier clips when he's like, there's thing audio of him like oh sorry man i gotta pee i just drink a big goal that's such a good like fucking clip clip chin i mean and also take out trx just put trucks dude we know you're all about it dude trucks what is it fish trucks kids that's what your fucking bio should be dude yeah does he only like trX? I don't think so. I know not what seems. I know what is, dude. And he's a beast of a fucking comedian, dude. That was a nice little Shakespeare riff right there.

Let's see here. This one's posted by ConfidenceSearch8648. It's called Eric Just Played the Real Mothership House Socials. Just rebranded enough. It's stronger, better, bigger power because it is the golden hour. I like this song. It's the golden hour. You should have ran that by me.

Right? Dude, that voice is always going to fucking kill me i i did the dna thing i spit in the cup give me a jar man he's back give me back a jar man he's i could never say it right but i love that voice too oh it's so good dude he could be such a good comedian if he fucking didn't have kids if he didn't have podcasts, no whiskey, no trucks, if it was just comedy, dude, imagine what we would get.

The sole focus on that shit, dude. He's got, he's got too much stuff going on, but we like the other stuff. So it's like, you know, you're only going to get close to genius.

You're not going to get a hundred percent. We love everything he does, but we wish he did one thing. That's true. Stand up comedy. Yeah. I want to be your opener daddy. This one's posted by busy middle 8108 it's called boppa kicked kicked kicked okay so boppa kicked off his podcast in the most bizarre way only to be ridiculed by his staff flawlessly

nice do you want to guess i haven't seen this yet um maybe something he said i have no idea dude i don't even have a guess here uh let's let's take a little uh quick inventory here because you know this thing is always evolving we still got that demon black buffalo two three four five six seven eight nine ten reins right safety shot we still don't know exactly what safety shot is maybe safety shot is something that you take right before a magic mine just to be safe because magic mine will keep you busy because maybe magic mine it could chill you out too much yeah another thing dude what's back bro the favorite shoe favorite shoe yeah dude that looks like a nike it's all white which is kind of fucked up lighting wise chin fix it your boy looks kind of blockbuster but what used to be there dude um tiger thick whiskey oh well there's two tigers in the back

but he's ashamed he's not even showing the fucking we got rain back here daddy why don't you just make this the tiger thick fucking table dude that sounds like a producer problem yeah you're right blame the team you're so fucking right yeah the team is wrong as usual all right let's see how they could do some oh i'm not that good so my balls go all over okay what could that possibly mean i'm not that good so my balls go all go all over he's pitching to his son oh so he's not a good pitcher the brains, but let's keep our minds in the gutter. Daddy. I like that too. Let's see here. Oh, I'm not that good. So my balls go all over. I'm talking about these nuts, but okay. So he's talking about these nuts. So what does that mean? Maybe he slings a lot of dick dude. Okay. He's not that good at being in a relationship because his balls go all over okay it's not even the dick they want dicey dicey wow white person handout i need sex once a week look i'm not saying nothing okay not saying nothing all right let's let's see where how this develops dude oh i'm not that good so my balls go all over i'm talking about these

nuts but um here's my problem with whoop and the sleep things is what they don't take into consideration is sometimes you gotta be mentally tough and just get your shit together and you gotta move forward and you gotta knock out that workout i don't i was using move for a while sponsored by him i used it for a hot second i'm talking months and it drove me that was so funny i don't know why it's funny but saying i use it for a hot second i'm talking months that's so fucking funny that is good a hot second is months in Boppa time. Dude, we got to start saying that, dude. Yeah, that's good. Kevin Spacey was jacking off in a theater for a hot second.

I'm talking months, dude. And it's like Boppa time is different. It's like, you know, there's different kinds of time. Yeah. Military time, Pacific, Eastern Standard Time, and then there's Boppa time. And then there's hot seconds, dude. Yeah. How many hot seconds Hot Seconds, dude. Yeah. How many Hot Seconds is this clip, Jim?

And you got to move forward, and you got to knock out that workout. I don't. I was using Moop for a while. I was sponsored by him. I used it for a hot second. I'm talking months. It drove me nuts because I'd be like, today's going to be a rough day.

Take it easy. I'm like, oh, I have four podcasts a workout and i gotta pick my kids up from school so it would put you in the wrong frame of mind i didn't like it so it is kind of like gang affiliation when he starts doing this shit right here like he hears that drake and kendrick this he's like so you put your the wrong frame of mind teaching a spin cycle to cririps. Oh, yeah. He's like, all right, seize up, gentlemen. We're on our last lap. Seize up, seize up.

Don't let me get... YG, keep it up. We'll keep it up, YG. We have two more sets to go, dude. Two more sets to go. Pick up the bag. The bag is going to be soon coming. Scoop up the bag. I'm talking about for a hot second here. Hot second. We're going to be doing this for months. I didn't like it.

So I kicked it. My life's instantly better. Try it out, dude. We don't fuck around with crabs here, Blood. We don't fuck around with crabs. Oh, actually, you wouldn't say that. That would be the other way around. You don't know. I don't know shit. I'm just trying to get murdered. He's talking shit

about Whoop. I think maybe that's where this gadouche is coming from. Because he used to be sponsored by Whoop, and now he's talking shit about whoop i think maybe that's where this good douche is coming from because he used to be sponsored by whoop you know he's talking shit about it yeah maybe i don't know what whoop is that's something that went over my head whoop strap do you remember sober october yeah they used whoop straps to track their fitness oh yeah okay and then so that became like a big then everyone got sponsored by whoop because whoop is they saw the bag they try to secure that shit. They scooped it up. I guess I forgot about it because I only watched the Sober October thing for like a hot second. I'm talking months.

For the folks of me. Do you feel better when it gives you a high score on your sleep thing? I feel like I'm good about myself. I'll take a nap, and it'll be like, you did a great job taking a nap. Good for you. And I'm like, you know what? job taking a nap. Good for you. And I'm like, you know what? I did.

All right. Well, that's a positive thing. We shouldn't let Beanie Man talk anymore. Yes, the other side of it is when it wakes up, it's like, you're at a whatever, 100% kick-ass today. You're like, oh, thanks, man. But I want mine to say kick-ass no matter what. Good sleep, bad sleep. It's going to be like, today's going to be rough, dude, but you got this, bud. Today's going to be rough.

You got two hours of sleep and it's going to be rough. But you got you got this, bud. Today's going to be rough. You got two hours of sleep, and it's going to be rough. But you got a lot to do, and we can do this. And you can rest the next night, and we'll figure it out. But it doesn't say that. Yeah, because they can't fit that on the screen. True. True, true. I was in Phoenix doing some race stuff.

Doing some race stuff? Got my hat, got my big dick. Sorry about that. Got my whoop so i don't get it he kicked off his podcast in a bizarre way only to be ridiculed by his staff i don't understand listen the reddit already talked about how we don't understand any of the clips so we're just leaning in uh four podcasts a workout and having to pick up the kids from school yeah that's a lot of stuff to do dude how many snags you milk be

that one comment says how many snags you milk be you show that to somebody outside of the change world they're like alright okay and they're like I'm just talking to that guy he's a psycho he just said how many snags you milk be

oh alright let's see here how many snags you milk be? Oh, all right. Let's see here. This one's a successful capital. Two one seven posted this one. Dick rides him the whole podcast. And then once a Bauer logs off, he shits on him,

calling him fat. This is who Brendan shop is, dude. I thought it was brewer for a second. And you know, we're big into the Bruna verse now. Oh yeah. So I've never seen it, but I'm pretty sure this is Trevor Bauer. Dude, I thought it was Brewer for a second. You know, we're big into the Bruniverse now. Oh, yeah. Great show.

Never seen it. But I'm pretty sure this is Trevor Bauer, disgraced pitcher from Major League Baseball. But it turns out that nothing's true. Who knows, B? Who knows? I'm not the guy. Yeah, I heard it both ways too, dude.

I never met him. Don't know who he is. I don't even know who Shab is really. Yeah. Dodgers. Ever heard of him? Let's see here. Rules of the Samurai. rules of the samurai except everything exactly as it is sometimes you have to do that especially when it's out of your control there's nothing you can do hopefully he makes it back yeah i hope so man shout out to trevor bauer man

yes sir stay away from that mexican food let's put on some weight let's do some uh yeah i mean that's not that bad i thought it was going to be a lot worse than that. It's a very random thing to say, but not for shop because, you know, he is a connoisseur of Mexican food.

Yes. He did the quick version, but he could have been like, stay away from that. Carnizada. Yeah. Chile. Pico de gallo.

And my favorite, huevo ranchero. There you go. Yeah. I mean, he's been into Mexican food for a hot second, dude. Yeah.

I mean, it's a mix message from him because he's like, stay away from the Mexican food. But then Trugwag argues that's all he fucking eats. I mean, listen here, dude. We make fun of Schaub all the time, dude. Sure. If he can't call somebody fat, then what the fuck are we doing, dude? I've never called anyone fat. I don't even know what that is.

Jelly Roll, dude. Jelly Roll is a great musician. Probably one of the best. He's one of our guys. All right. Jelly Roll and his brother, Pork Burrito. Nick this. Yeah, it sounds like Jelly Roll's brother would be.

That was the worst one I've come up with ever. It would be like, Huevos Rancheros would be his brother or something, you know? Yeah, the Mexican. Yeah. The Guadalajara Jelly Roll Brother would be. That was the worst one I've come up with ever. It would be like, Huevos Rancheros would be his brother or something, you know? Yeah, the Mexican. Yeah. The Guadalajara Jelly Roll. Yeah. But if he can't say this guy's looking chubby, dude,

then what are we doing here? Because we're talking a lot of shit. When you see a person who's overweight, do you ever ask them, hey, are you a Taco Bell Jelly Roll or a Guadalajara Jelly Roll? Are you a barbecue jelly roll roll can you imagine going up to the establishment and asking for a guadalajara jelly roll but sorry go ahead where are you i like that go to go to tacos up point hope you like can i get a guadalajara jelly roll dude

and then the guy taking the order is like called it but he's like called it in spanish i haven't made one of those for a hot second i don't know uh anyways this one's posted by gallo bird it's called he is now officially trying to claim quote no vax now despite having record himself saying he's quote vaxed on several occasions awesome well you can't let them know what you're gonna do next dude so he let them know your next move. He's doing this for TikTok, bro. Oh, shit. Engage me, bro.

I mean, if I told you what I was going to do next, then you would have already been like waiting for my TikTok to drop. Yeah, would you even comment if I didn't say that shit or like it or subscribe, bro? Bro.

Exactly, bro. A hundred percent. The bag has been picked up. the bag is coming from inside the house oh jesus every time i do that oh all right let's see two times it's down bro meanwhile also i was just sick bro you've had covet nine times yeah i'm stronger from it and i'm stronger from it dude why are you acting like this whole vaccination stuff i'm not anti-vax man i'm vaccinated but okay i mean devil's assistant i don't really think he's saying for sure he's not vaccinated

i think he's joking around like no vax like he hasn't had it recently or something dude he's the funniest person yeah so if you don't think that's a joke, dude. Yeah. Like nobody knows. Nobody knows who he really is. He's like a George Carlton. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't know who George Carlton is. Who the hell is he? Is he black? I don't even know. Who is George Carlton Africa? Yeah.

That's like him saying like no Mexican wife, dude. He has a Mexican wife. He doesn't want you to know that, dude. Yeah. You know what I mean? 4D chess. Ever played it? Nah, dude. Sounds like Gala Bird hasn't. Hey, Gala Bird. You block my side, dude.

Alright, this one's posted by ABTB12. You better not piss us off, dude. The majority of us, huh? Haha. Bapa genuinely thought his quote 300 pages would close Chang's doors. Old dish reheated. We've seen this one. Let's go. Let's go.

But I love, this is my favorite. Honestly, dude, this is my favorite podcast of all time right here. I watched this one at least, I'm talking about every hot second, dude. Every couple months. Every neat. Yeah. Let's see here. That's how toxic that group is. Well, they well they know hey guys if you have any doubts if you have any doubts go look at it yeah

they're radicalized but then also go look at you know the reason that your account got flagged in the first that's like the first time we ever went to james guys it's hilarious if you doubt go fucking check it out dude uh i was they were reminded me of is the Booker Flappers being like, pull up his Twitter right now. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. He hates this club. If you doubt it, pull up his Twitter right now.

Guys, go look at it. The radicalized. Fuck this guy. Then also, the reason that account got flagged in the first place, for it to get to me, a guy who ignores it, because it hurts my feelings, not because I'm better than social media or reddit groups the reason it got notified is because there's a video of this man beating his man this good man he wanted to say gay man so bad this good man

who is six years old with autism that's when it crossed that that's what you're dealing that's when you realize who these some of these people are some not all some a majority of them a majority of them dude 90% yeah he called it he's a numbers guy

how did he see that video of you dude I'm a six year old man with what did he say autism with autism hey i am what i am dude i remember the first time i went on chang's dude it was just a bunch of people beating up kids with autism daddy that means that he's doing that in the spin class he's teaching they're like okay can you stop bringing up six-year-olds with autism why is this motivating us to run a bike? I love that.

Dude, honestly, that podcast, dude, if you're ever feeling down and out, do yourself a favor. Pop that bad boy on, dude. When they're saying the 300 pages of evidence thing, dude. Oh, yeah. I can't talk. I have not watched the whole thing.

I've only seen clips. It's amazing, dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Watch it every hot second, dude. This one's called Bathroom Skits andits and bits posted by lumumba zero another one from the ceo himself dude let's see they have a rule in that really nice bathroom next to our studio it's a no pooping rule you have violated that rule before did you violate that rule today i did not violate the rule today but i've definitely

violated that rule before you always wonder like what had to happen for a rule like that to be created. I mean, I just gotta tell you, if you tell me there's a no pooping bathroom, it's gonna require my utmost restraint to not defecate in the sink. Okay. Best moves from left field, dude. Coming in with a fucking skits and bits.

Look how happy fucking BC got. When he said that that BC's face, it's like a birthday gift is great, dude. Let's see really quick. Slow-mo here to require my utmost restraint to not defecate in the sake.

Okay. All right. That fucking face right there. It's so good, dude. I love it. Oh man. I am a hundred percent on Luke's side here,

dude. If you tell me I can't piss or poop in a toilet, dude, that's meant for piss and poop, I'm going to try to do it the best I can. Yeah, unless it's broken, there's no reason to say. There should never, ever be a no pooping rule. Why is that? Okay, I can give you one no pooping rule that I did go against.

What? When I was very young and my parents were looking at houses, we were in a model house dude they didn't say to your boy there's a no poop and no pissing rule dude maybe there was no water work in there or whatever I fucking pooped

and nobody noticed because they're trying to sell a house dude fuck and then when it came time to go to the next house they were like where's little g-man at and I was pooping in the fucking sink dude yeah And then when it came time to go to the next house, they were like, where's little G-Man at? And I was pooping in the fucking sink, dude. Yeah. Damn.

You learn more about us as time goes on, dude. That's your shot throwing a guy through the window story. That is. Dude, Gerardo pooped in a fucking model home. And think about how the realtors had to deal with that. A little boy's poop. And they laughed about it. He's a bully. No, they bring it up all the time.

They're like, remember when you pooped in that model house, dude? How did they know? Because it became the talk of the town, dude. The town wasn't even there yet. People kicked into your door when you're home. You thought you got away with it. Get out of the floor. Yeah.

Where's the, where's fucking Jared? This is Caldwell Realty. And we need you to fucking show us that fucking shit. Okay, I'll stop. Open his ass. See if the, where's fucking Jared? This is Caldwell Realty and we need you to fucking show us that fucking shit. Okay, I'll stop. Open his ass. See if the poop fits. Oh my God. There's a Sharpie in there.

What are we doing here? To not defecate in the sink. Okay. All right. That's shop style almost, right? Yeah. Just pissing. I mean, how long is the show?

Two minutes. Two minutes and we're doing skits and bits. He's the one that did it though, dude. Yeah, but he maybe didn't do it on purpose. Yeah. He just got, you know, subliminal. Well, there is so many, like shopisms touch every facet of life, dude. That is true.

In any facet, dude. So it's hard to not say a shopism without even knowing. You know what i should have said for the religious thing now he's really gonna have to axe j jesus dude that's there you go a fucking 18 clips late but it's fine dude well australia saw it yeah they saw that coming this one's posted by successful capital 217 it says translation john jones is indeed gay and so is boppa probably let's see here you know i'm sure there's stuff like brendan chubb's gay or you know brendan's into this

or brendan beats his kid wild shit you'll see wild shit out there. It's the Wild West. So this is the Wild West. I don't entertain it. It's just not what we do. I don't think anyone would feel good if I covered this. For the MMA guru, I'll say this. I get it. I get why you guys do stuff like this. It's just not what we do.

I've known John for a hot second. Uh-oh. Fuck, dude. He's known john was gay for months damn it fuck man i want i wish i could have been there for that hot second dude you know what i'm saying okay yeah they were probably smashing yeah dude that was the noise coming from the bedroom right there dude hey two hawks just letting each other have it. All right, I'll stop. Let's see here, dude. That look right there is so menacing.

He's like a Sith Lord, dude. Hey, MMA guru, you're a blog buster. Wrong camera. All right. So let's see here, dude. This one I was excited for you to see, dude. It's posted by Various Concept 2615. It's called,

So many JRE guests turned one or two appearances into a multi-million dollar grift, yet Bapa squandered 140 appearances. And what is this right here, dude? Jocko, dude. You know what that is? Good. I fucking take all that shit. Every one of those things, I take it every morning.

Yeah! No excuses. You know why it's called Go? Why? Because you're supposed to OD on it. Good. Oh, okay. You know what I'm saying, dude? Was it worth it? I don't even know.

I mean, all I know is that that stuff, the MOLK, Jocko MOLK, M-O-L-K. Ew. That's what I fucking put that shit in me so that I'm ready to go. Pause. I'm like, pause, yeah. I mean, you could go through life without taking Jocko's stuff and just be in traction control, but not me, dude. I'm Baja mode for life. Dude.

Page seven, white person handout. I need Jocko Willings. Malk. One time a week. Malk, dude. Malk. Yeah, anybody out there, write in comments if you're taking Malk, dude. Malk. Yeah. Anybody out there, write in comments if you're taking Malk.

What does Malk do for you? Yeah. Dude, join the Patreon and I'll buy some Malk tomorrow night, daddy. I'm assuming it's protein powder, right? Probably. But I like the name. I'm a name guy, dude. I don't like chocolate protein powder.

I'm more of a vanilla guy myself. All right. You know, but who knows? He probably has vanilla milk. Yeah. What flavors of milk can we get? Yeah. I'm down.

I want some strawberry milk. All right. So this one's a throwback to an instant classic menu item posted by 12 Washington Beard. And, you know, there's just some iconic outfits where we already know what's coming, right? Let's go for it, dude. What is up, fam? It is Monday morning, 9 o'clock AM on this beautiful

crisp Calabasas morning. How's everybody doing? God damn. What happened before that? I know. Hungover or something? Hair of the dog? Definitely hungover.

I mean, this is drinking Bapa, dude. Yeah. This is DB. Yeah. I mean, every once in a while, you got to have that. That's around the time where Tiger Thig was at its height. Right. You could only get it for $100 a bottle.

Yeah. And that was a steal, dude. I know. I can't believe it's so much cheaper now, dude. I have so much Tiger Thick, dude. You have no idea. Yeah. No, I have an idea, dude. I was in your living room like a hot second ago, dude. Yeah. You tried to count.

You couldn't. Can't. Don't count. Well, don't count doesn't matter if I count or not. Dude, I'm not a numbers guy. All right. So this one's posted by SuccessfulCapital217. It's called You Doesn't count. Well, doesn't count. Doesn't matter if I count or not. Dude, I'm not a numbers guy. All right. So this one's posted by Successful Capital 217. It's called You Don't Say. Very short clip.

Chris DiStefano. You ready for this? Yeah. Would you always try to make people laugh from a defensive point of view? See, I was. No, but if you talked to my friends from high school, they wouldn't have told you I was funny. They thought I was a psycho. Got it.

It was. Yeah. Yeah. that makes sense. I can see that being true. What would a high schooler say about you? That I'm Netflix. That it doesn't matter. That I'm bald and I sling dick. There you go. That's the one, yeah.

Because I was actually bald in high school. Sad. Slinging dick though? Yeah, that's true. One of the many that can. No, I wasn't slinging dick either. I'm going to get that on loop. You saying I don't sling dick. Alright, so this one's... Good. This is another dude. Like I said at the beginning, there's a lot of reheats this week.

But there's part of this I've never seen before. It's called Callan is Bapa's True North Star, posted by Bapatello, and Will Sasso makes an appearance, dude. Bapatello. Let's see here. Listen, for me as a fan,

I'd love to see you fight John Africa. I'd love to see you fight Tyson Fury whenever that happens. I'd love to see you FC in France. Who the hell is John Africa? There's been talk of Idris elba playing the role but the role has now actor in africa um yeah yeah in africa brian just said um but yeah that's an africa actor no yeah that's racist will sasso dude legend great guy never met him very funny yeah dude hell yeah quick-witted quick-witted fucking always on it be maybe the opposite of the t-fac k brain

yeah dude he don't got cte uh let's see here this one's posted by haphazard it's called let me answer that question for you as you can see it's trevor bauer oh it's another one of those they never let him answer the question oh no you know when the timer's down here today that's how you know dude i can't wait let's see so trevor like it's unbelievable to me because right now we've seen that you the two people that brought these allegations are complete and total frauds and that's been proven in courts of law there has been zero civil or criminal um merit to any of these allegations and that has been proven over and over without a shadow of a doubt you make these videos i'm watching this thing this woman has done this to 10 other men

she's caught red-handed being extorting you um but downright just absolute fraud where she's actually they can be the grand jury and she's now facing trial that your first accuser had put makeup on to to uh essentially fake whatever it was all these marks so you're a young winner i mean it's been three and a half years and you would think with all the injuries that all these teams are facing you'd think somebody would say hey dude this has obviously been proven to be a sham you got railroaded you were lied about maliciously for profit extorted you never paid a dime you stood your ground you sat here in purgatory come on back come on back i think i think one of the issues for the answer trevor one day dude it's not even a question no it goes right to the other guy after all that

trevor bauer should do like a cooking video while they're fucking asking this question like all right or just like chores or fucking something he's not even that fat it's also good to be fat as a pitcher dude you pitch better as a fat man i mean i don't know if that's true but i don't think he's like you know too fat to be a pitcher. Shout out baseball doesn't exist, dude. They have a whole video about it. Ever heard of him? And also, if you're Trevor Bauer, and let's say you're innocent, these are the last two people that you want capping for you. Yeah.

You'd hope you could get on a better podcast where people that are a little more, I don't know, less ridiculous. The first time Trevor Bauer didn't get hired by a baseball team. He was like, I thought we were all going to fight. Oh fuck. Or he's like, let me hit up T fat K. Yeah. Yeah. He's trying to convince him he's innocent. And he's like, okay, well, I mean thick boy squad did a whole video on how I'm innocent. And they're like, what? He's like, look, you can tell three C's it's real. They're like, you're not getting on. You, you can tell three C's. It's real. They're like, you're not getting on.

You're not allowed on the Cleveland Guardians. Let's see. Issues that I find is I find myself defending you all the time is the media. You know, obviously when this stuff came out, everyone covered it. It's everywhere. And now that you've proven yourself innocent, you've gone through all this stuff you have to go through and you're doing your thing on Mexico. They're not covering it with the same energy that they covered when the story broke.

So it's like the narrative. We know it. And there's people that follow it know it. But as far as like ESPN and all these outlets, it's like, why aren't with the same with the same energy that they covered when the story broke so it's like the narrative we know it and there's people that follow it know it but as far as like espn and all these outlets it's like why aren't we coming with the same energy that you guys had we want to tear this man down now that there's he's gone through the process you guys want to go through they found nothing the dude's innocent you fucking ruin this dude's life to a certain extent why isn't this out there on the national scene i think that's my question i think that's why teams are a little heavy answer the question he's not even letting him say no no chance it's so funny that out of the three people

here the one perspective i care about is trevor bowers dude yeah but they're not gonna let him talk yeah let's see sorry dude we're on a rant we're a little heated we're a little heat we're heated for you we should probably let trevor talk yeah let's let let's let you talk because i'm we're both heated yeah there's no question at the end we should do that next time we have a guest yeah see how long we can talk before they talk that's a great idea dude yeah put it in the bank we're doing it we probably already did it to robbie once at least yeah you're so good at impressions like this one time i saw your

impression and like this and that isn't it just fast forward us uh i put a sharpie in my boat when i was eight years old you know all this stuff uh anyways so this one's called i love when he acts like he never knows what's going on on the internet slash social media dude literally is always talking about the latest different social media drama slash gossip etc but then says this shit i got kids shake my head give me a break. Posted by SuccessfulCapital217. Let's see here. 42-minute long video about him claiming that Jon Jones is homosexual. And already, okay, let me refresh this.

And the teeth, thank you. We're all doing. Saying someone's gay is like saying they're dead. Yeah. We found out today that a good friend of ours, I don't even know how to say this. John is gay. He might be gay. It's death.

It's a death sentence to friendship for them. They should change the name of the show to MBG, dude. Might be gay. And it's just all that. Like, I would tune in. Yeah. Well, you know, they're focused on making done count a show last episode, which I think they're going to stay.

They just stay focused on that. That too. Yeah. But then that can also be incorporated into might be gay. Like not done count. Well, you know, I grab ass sometimes too,

you know, like that kind of stuff done count a crossover. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Like it's for sure.

They, they need to talk about Drake right now. Cause Kendrick is saying he might be gay dude oh Kendrick said that yeah he said that he has a beard because he's a good beard oh right I did hear that lyric yeah dude T-Fat K needs to dude there should be an emergency meeting at T-Fat K

today dude about that I definitely would like to hear Shab's perspective on the beef I'm sure there'll be many clips about that yeah dude we need this Shab we we need this job we fucking need this well monday morning you know it's gonna be chris so he's gotta talk on it check my watch yeah 0.6 million views on this twitter post okay so the same thing uh and he went through i watched the entire video as well did you get to see any of this stuff sure didn't chan i get kids yeah i mean not worth it but funny

what he said not the clip yeah all right let's go to this next one this one's posted by john boppa doe it's called i go to dark places dicey dicey it's just this one you know he's as we've talked about many times he knows how to pose he He's going to get the funniest pose possible. Look at that. He's mad about something. Just like scrolling across the screen. Someone could get gadooshed. Prime.

Oh, hilarious. All right, what's the next clip here? Okay, dude, I haven't watched this one yet, but I look forward to these every time. Oh, yeah. It's called POV, Your Last Mealal posted by OkCupcake8101. You answer an ad from Craigslist to view a room with double balconies.

You accept the fish nibbles on arrival. Next thing you know, you are cocooned in duct tape and wake up next to Chin. You realize that you're the human condom fish. Good douche. I love the painting of the narrative. The setting of the scene here.

We've already seen the opening. It's pretty aggressive. Here they are. You see them? Let's crack these eggs first. You don't want to do one egg. Because I don't want to eat hard-boiled eggs

for this. Oh, shoot. Dang it. And that right here is the finished product. And there's still some shell left on my fingertips, I think. Gosh, dang it. Don't even look at this, but you will. There's all these shells on the freaking meat sticks.

Meat sticks, sticks dude meat sticks i need to finish this now is that alcohol i think so that's alcohol i don't know what that is but i thought the other thing might have been soju or something. Gin. What the fuck? It's just drink. So random, dude.

His girlfriend's like, no, I don't want meat sticks with hard-boiled egg, dude. This is like a random thing to say, but I don't think I've ever, like when I have hard-boiled eggs, I've never gotten the eggshells on meat somehow. Yeah. They're just not eating the things together. I don't know what that is. I don't know. But who knows? I mean, dude, he's the best brains for the arts, B, so you got to watch your mouth.

Right. Also, his the has the highest level of crime activity anywhere in los angeles yeah i don't know why yeah definitely some fucking outside you know i'm saying oh yeah um all right so this one's posted by icarus lives with the flair john africa it's called uh eric griffin walks onto the golden hour podcast let's see this is pretty funny dude oh yeah if the music gets gadooshed then fuck yeah like an old crime documentary

once again into the brink my friend this is like Saving Private Eric at the end of the movie where like everything is lost and the main character realizes what he fucked up and he's just stuck

in the same loop forever and then golden hour it's the golden hour what have I done What have I done? What have I done?

I've been gadooshed. He's redacted. He's redacted. Why block buzzer? Oh, really, dude? Oh, look who he is. Oh, we thought you were going to be super late. Rush Virginia.

We just started. Oh, he's old. Oh, you tie-tied. No. He said tie-tied. What do you think about that? He's a man in his own prison, dude. Yep.

Gadoosh. All right. We're at the towards the end of the show here. We got two more little chins to clip here. It's posted by haphazard quote. His audience knows that he's a Fisher end quote. We sure do. It's a longer one.

Let's see what this is about. Oh, nothing. Oh, speaking of trips, speaking of trips. So you and I are going into June to Alaska. Are you coming? Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Do the announcement, man, for you and I are going into June to Alaska. Are you coming? Yeah, baby. Well, hold on. Hold on.

Let me do the announcement, man, before you fucking ruin it, you piece of shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I talked to them this morning in Lex, and they're like, well, there's six spots on the boat. You guys are only using four. We need two more.

And I said, well, our producer, Chen. Damn it. What? Nothing. A boy can dream, Cooney. What? There's two spots left on the boat. Oh, like me and you? our producer Chen damn it what nothing I can a boy can dream Cooney what

there's two spots left on the boat oh like me and you when you say it out loud it makes me emotional but it's fine we're going to Alaska with them

yeah dude you wouldn't want to go to Alaska no I put my life aside to do that you wouldn't put your two weeks in that work right now

oh yeah no I would be gone the content dude just like about everybody dude I don't care about The content, dude. Just look at the content. I don't care about the content. I'm looking for the spend the time with Boppa. I've been wanting to meet Boppa for a hot second, dude. I know.

We can all have a hot second. Months. I'm talking months. His audience actually knows that he's a fisher. It'd be great content if Chin came along. They said he's coming. Chin? All expense paid. Chin's coming. That's going to be a fisher. It'd be great content if Chin came along. They said, he's coming. Chin? All expense paid.

Chin's coming. That's going to be a blast. I cannot. That's my dream come true. I've always wanted to go to Alaska. Really? That's my biggest dream as far as traveling.

That's awesome. Fuck! Chin took our spot. Yeah. Anyways. Bitch. Thank you, dude. Appreciate it.

One thing about Brendan and I, have fun eating meat sticks, Brendan. Yeah, who's going to cook you food? Hopefully not Chin, thank you, guys. Appreciate it. One thing about Brendan and I- Have fun eating meat sticks, Brendan. Yeah, who's going to cook you food? Hopefully not Chin. Bullshit, dude. Have fun eating fucking burger pizzas. Sounds like a great time to me, huh? You raise a good point.

He's like, I've heard the condom fish in Alaska is excellent. We are outdoors guys. We are fishermen. Well, you're a hunter. Brendan and I, we love the old sea, we like to really why you hunt though you are a hunter i hunt hold on he's been hunting i played basketball last weekend i don't refer to myself as a basketball player i've been hunting been hunting over four times and oh listen there you go you're probably at this point you know what i mean? Steve Rinella. I mean, I track animals.

Sure. And as long as I have plenty of gear and plenty of guides. Nobody gives a shit, dude. Brian's going to go into one of his characters now. Yeah. I track animals. I get them in my sights. This one time, there was a leopard.

I can, you know, I'll shoot a deer all day you know what i'm saying but chin's coming to alaska that's really cool dream come true so we're going to 25th to the 29th uh i don't know we'll figure it out we're gonna have a we're gonna have a great fucking time chin you have to bring cameras and and. I mean, I'll do some B-roll stuff, but I want to just enjoy it. We have a guy there, buddy. Oh, hilarious. You thought you knew what to do. What do you mean?

Oh, we have a guy for that. Who? The staff. Really? Chin's there to relax and kill fish. So we have somebody who's going to shoot stuff. We got Marcus that's coming up. Mark. Fuck! God damn it. You're mad that Marcus is coming? Yeah. I wish they would have been like

you know, this guy that produces a really good podcast sits in red chairs like us. Gerardo? Actually a huge fan of me. You go without me? I would leave you in a second, dude. If T-Fat K needed another guy? What if he had to share a bunk bed with Marcus? Cooney, I don't think you know what I would do i would leave you in a second dude if t-fat k needed another guy what if you had to share a bunk bed with marcus cooney i don't think you know what i would do to you to be beanie man

dude all right i have no i get it dude i get it you don't have to sugarcoat it for me please don't dude i'll spend as many hot sexes with mark as i need to dude hot sexes sexes i'll do i'll give mark a hot second quickly, dude. Don't put Gerard on a row and have to get on a boat and have him fucking fuck his way out. Fuck his way out to the boat. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Mark's coming. All right. He didn't know that. Yeah. And then we got to, we'll do a little podcast maybe from there. I mean, we can. Hey, hey.

Canada podcast. One thing at a time time let's just get through it yeah we'll figure it out alaska is not canada you fucking quack piece of shit it's america daddy and the podcast go have fun yeah quit thinking about all this bullshit yeah let me enjoy brian yeah like you we won't have to bring all this equipment and stuff. On the boat, wind whistling. Got ourselves a salmon. That's all we need. Right? We'll be able to, yeah, we'll get good video content.

Yeah, and I'll definitely help out no matter what. What are you looking to catch? Dude, halibut, salmon, whatever they have. Hey, what if... Fuck this guy. I didn't know I was going to have a mortal enemy today. Marcus. Fucking Mark, Chin, all these goddamn fucking people

going to Alaska with Bapa, dude. And I know what you're thinking. Oh, Gerardo, you're not going to be able to go with them with this and that. Just say the word and I'm there, dude. I'll buy my own flags. Yeah, duck mentality.

I think you can't go, dude. Hawks find a way. Make it happen. That's hawk rule number 817. And there's a lot more Hawk rules too, dude. Oh, so many. Some would say the most. Oh, the most Hawk rules.

This one's posted by XO Truck. It's called two canceled comedians and one retired comedian interview mayhem and they talk about themselves. Who is mayhem? MMA fighter. Okay. I think retired, got in some trouble. Well, when you're-

MMA legend. I don't know. When you're messing some trouble. Well, when you're- MMA legend. I don't know. When you're messing with a couple dragons, you're going to get lit up, B. They don't care about you coming from wherever you come from, dude. Hey, dude. Yeah, dude. We'll see. What about you?

When you go on stage and shit, you feel like- Yeah, you guys look fucking super- Well, that's part of it. You have to be. I see my fighting, though, right? But you've done it long enough. I'm never nervous. Fighting is different because the risk, like the embarrassment of getting knocked out. Like stand-up, it's like, let's say you're at the comic store in the main stage, right?

And you're about to go out and the crowd's pretty rough. Yeah. It's all right, whatever. You go out there, and if you eat dick, like, I'll just do a spot the lab factor. But I piss my pants, and it's very obvious. You shit yourself? That's why you wear diapers. Bye, Chris.

But I think the difference with fighting is the peaks and valleys. It's so different. Where in stand-up, if I bomb, you can redeem yourself like 10 minutes later. Right, right, right. Or you're not thinking about it for like six months, and you're not getting half your pay. Well, I'm interested to hear from you guys about the, like, you know. He's trying to be the interviewer because they're so bad. He's like, well, if you're not going to ask me any questions,

then I'll ask you guys questions, I guess. Did that fade away where you got comfortable, where you just get into your material? That's interesting to me, where it's like you're in the moment, but you're also, because I've seen you guys squash hecklers and shit. I've seen you guys be in the moment, but also like- So when I kill a guy, I smash his head open like this, like a grapefruit. What do you guys do with your hecklers?

He has CT hard. On your material, real sharp. I got a tattoo on my hand that I use. So when a guy, I'm punching him in the face real hard, he can see the tattoo. But when you got into hecklers, you can't punch him in the face. What do you do? How do you?

I'll punch a heckler in the face for you. Do you smash your head? Yeah. Ten years before you really find yourself? Oh, man. That was the creation of the C-clamp right Oh, man. That was the creation of the seat clamp right there, dude. That was great. I want to see this one more time.

Well, they say 10 years before you really find yourself. Yes, but also like I feel like when it comes to really being comfortable and speaking my mind on stage, it's been recent. That's 10 years. Yeah, I don't know i mean i always think like thank god nobody in the fucking audience at least they don't have a microphone you know because i'll be can't be louder than them yeah like that's like this fail safe you know what i mean like you can just talk over them and it's like but do you get nervous when you do big theater

still no no no uh-uh no never no never uh-uh what about when you're at the comedy store when you look at the line but it's like he can you're at the comedy store when you look at the line, but it's like, run, get a job? He can't go to the comedy store? Yeah, he's banned. Diddy. His face, like he realized what he just asked. Only time,

you have to go like, oh yeah, Kevin Hart's going to come in, do 30 minutes, and then you've got to go on after. It's like, okay. But you don't get nervous. You just go,

ah, fuck it. Who cares? Am I going to bomb? Whatever. Also, you can't do anything. I have my set, and this is what it's going to be. Dude, I have to go fight somebody to the death in a fucking couple weeks.

So it's the anticipation. He means literally. Someone's going to die. I have to go kill a man. He's not talking about fighting like a fight. He worked for the mob. So he's got to go kill somebody the mob wants him to kill. And Christie's like, oh, you think that's it? I got to go kill somebody the mob wants him to kill. And Chris Lee's like, oh, you think

that's... I got to go to Pueblo. Do stand-up for people that... Duh. Duh. He started with duh. I got to go to Pueblo. I got to go fight a man. I got to go to Pueblo too, but I'm going to kill a guy there. But once you get there,

why do you think I always danced like i was like yeah because it's all over all the weight cutting all that that part was over with i was happy to kill that's why i danced yeah oh my god you guys would fight a little bit harder yeah you know maybe yeah I don't know but I was trying to fight to the death there's no way to make it more exciting

alright well great clip to end it that was wonderful hope you guys have a great week join the patreon bye you don't even know which camera no I never know