100% Eat - A Real Time Travel Episode - Ride Along Not a Damn Chance Burger

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

Our Heroes set out to eat before their live episode before WAY before their live episode. Is Michael's recommendation worth it even though he hasn't been to this one? Does this trip sort of shade how the live episode went? Does Nick feel good in this one? That'll make sense later. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Rogers Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday, anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online Go Pass ahead of the show at Gotransit.com slash tickets. But what is the answer? Yeah, why aren't we, why don't we live with regulations?

I don't know. That's your house. Why didn't you invite us? Why didn't we invite them? I don't know what we're doing. What are you guys doing? I can't believe they did that to us. Didn't even get invited. Jordan, what the hell, dude? Yeah, Jordan, what the fuck? We're getting boxed out. Jordan, what the hell, dude? Yeah, Jordan, what the fuck? We're getting boxed out.

Jordan, what the hell, these guys are assholes. What, no, no, no, no, no. Jordan, why is Nick against all of us? No, see, I don't think that's true. I just think Eric might run that guy over. Yeah, pretty much. It's definitely you and Eric. No, just Eric.

No, it's definitely the two of you. See, he has like 20%. I'll tell you what, it ain't Andrew. Yeah. He doesn't want any of us to move in. I can just tell. I haven't talked about it. I can tell. I can just tell.

I actually heard that Alfredo said that. That's what Jeremy said in a video to Matt. I think Alfredo said it during the vlog. I could be wrong. Okay, everyone wave to Not a Damn Chance Burger. Whoa, is that the thing? As we just ate there and it was so fucking good. Dude, I was good.

I could house another one right now. Here's the issue. We have, our thing isn't until Sunday. Uh-huh, what do we do? At the time we're recording this, it is before. Oh no, what do we do? Well, we wait till Sunday. Yeah, don't worry.

I'm definitely gonna try to go there again before Sunday. You think we could get one for the show? There's no, there's no we, I'm gonna get one for me. Can do whatever you want. Can you we? No, we can we it. There it is. Eric, can you we? That's where we will be.

Oh, well right there. Dude, I'll walk over. Dude, this is part of my one wheel stomping grounds. Yeah, maybe. My 2024 one wheel grounds. I fell over all over the place around here. You've been on the one wheel grounds? I ate shit over here.

I ate shit over there. Yeah, not, I haven't been on it. Is that from? No, that's a rock. Is that is that for no? That's a rock Okay Rocks that's a straight rock. I was swimming. Oh, that'll do it and hit a rock someone threw a boulder in the pool It was nuts. I hate when that happens I've been one-wheeling as like a mode of transportation, but not for fun time. Gotcha. No funds I haven't done like fun fun trip one wheel

Which is always what you want, but god damn is it useful point? but not for fun times. I haven't done like fun, fun trip one wheel, which is always what you want, but God damn, is it useful? Point? What do we point out? That's the Wendy's. Oh. That's the Wendy's where I think bald headed behavior happened.

Oh really? Yeah. I think that's the bald headed behavior Wendy's. That I got the review for. Nick said it like he didn't know what you meant. It's so small. He doesn't know. I was trying to remember if it was something he did.

He doesn't know. That's where the review was. He doesn't know what I mean. What a weird spot for a Wendy's. Yes. When you think about it. Like in a vacuum, it's like, oh, there's a Wendy's. That's not weird.

But then you think about the greater context of. That one's not great to go to super late at night. What do you mean? Just run it the highway. Yeah, and then I always. You don't want to wander this overpass? I mean, I do. I park here where the lights are all blue

so you can't see your veins. And then I walk over to that Wendy's. Oh, you can always see my veins, baby. Hahaha. Woooooo. Look at that baby. Look at that. That's why you get buff so they stick out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm addicted to heroin in the gym. Hahaha. Dude, they're like, where do I stick it? I'm like, anywhere. Anywhere, baby. Anywhere, bro.

Hang on, let me light up a path for you. Woooooo. It's like a GTA navigation system game,, right. I'm on the way point just yeah This cave is not a natural formation. You're right. Check out the new gaming channel that guy We're getting into it guys. We're gamers now or gaming channel. Check it out Michael. Yo, let's play We were playing. He was locked in. I was locked in when we were playing.

No, it was because he actually enjoyed what he was playing for once. Oh, is that what that is? He was having fun. Yeah, no one had a Magic Blankie in to get. You don't get me started on all the years I had to play DDA. Yeah, right.

Ugh! Are you getting tired of driving? Yeah, I would just be like, get me back to my blocky kingdom. Come on, Minecraft. I gotta get just magic. I gotta complete the set. Take Gavin's golden feet or whatever.

Dude, I'm getting off my center. All of the comments are so good and people going like, not so good since the Gavin's golden boots. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. God damn. Don't forget about Jack's magic turban. Yeah, it's a good one.

I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. It's golden boots. It's pretty good. Golden boots was better. It was pretty good. God damn. Now you get about Jack's magic turban.

Yes. There were more than like one person who I believe wasn't joking, replying to some of those comments that were like, I can't find this video. Yeah. I did see that person. I've seen all of them.

I'm searching the playlist. Where's the magic belt? Does anyone have this video. Yeah. I did see that person. I've seen all of them. I'm searching the playlist. I want like three. Where's the magic belt? Does anyone have a link? Yeah. It's unlisted. I did a Google controversy. Google reverse search for this thumbnail

and then it came up. It's only this post. That thumbnail is so good too. It has the Cloudberry Kingdom guy in the background. Nick saying it and then it's refuting it was in his own game I went that's a game you like no no no different game it's a minecraft and we didn't make it a game made like games and you went really oh hello

Why would you film it do you have put me in your take wait me no Cut when the phone rings you point the camera. Yeah, all right when somebody says I'm putting in credit card information You would write to him it went right over to yeah We're ready to write it for us read out that security code mama. Why don't you hang up on them? It's still there was for a mama. Why don't you hang up on them? It's still there. It was for a second He looked again by the way I swung back to Eric He looked back at it for a second time Why the fuck would it still be there?

Why would you let Eric be there? You're gonna hang it up. Take your hands off the fucking wheel What? I know you're short, but can you reach it? Okay, now I can see what he's- Now I can see what the fuck he's filming. Oh in reverse? Yeah, cool. Yeah, it's a little delayed for some reason. It is. It's like a little stutter, but it's not bad. No, it's not just the stutter. It's like delayed like two seconds. Mm-hmm. It's no. Yep.

It's because his phone sucks. It's pointing at him. It is definitely because his phone sucks. Oh, it is very delayed. He's got half a magnet in there. It wasn't delayed like that earlier. That's fine. Yeah. It's probably just running out of battery. It's a huge draw to mirror and also record. I think you need a new phone, man. I'm not paying for that. I know how much money you make. Yeah. Because it's the same amount of money I make.

And that's why you can't afford it, cock sucker. Right, but I'm not doing that. You got a new phone or you buy a Switch 2? Let me tell you something. I was raised by a dad who was raised by a guy from the depression. Okay I'm what you're saying is that's pretty far removed at the yeah But I tell you about my generational trauma. Yes exactly that I wasn't even a ride Hey, but that the cut it transcends boundaries

Well, it doesn't it doesn't because you also if it transcended fully you would not be the person who goes my career is I'm a podcaster Like my father's father before me I Would be I play video games and I talk about eating food. I love my bootstraps We need a fucking we get a monkey bib? I would never. We need a fucking- We should get a sauce bucket.

We need a fucking monkey muzzle. We need a muzzle. Yes. I'm sticking to the word. I want to say ballgag, but that's not quite right. That's different. That's different. That could be the videos we film for the wireless.

This guy doesn't fucking contribute. One month. Yeah. Oh, I hate Nick. Have you been on the reddit again fuck you by the way we are driving back this is the first ride along to our new place yeah right so when right along would be over in about three minutes yeah it's could be a little bit longer be an extra light also also also Gracie said oh I

wish I would have known that was the last one at the office I would have just doxxed you guys we doxxed ourselves in it Yeah, we do that on purpose She wanted to do that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she wanted to do the doxxing. We're not there anymore. Yeah, I think by definition It's not a doxxing. No, it's like a gotcha, but but she's like a would have been right doxxing I'm not sure if she understands like what the term is, but she still wants to do it. Yes Yeah, just let her do it as a treat. Yeah. Yes.

She's just a girl. What will people think? What do you think she is to us? Those comments have been so good. What are you talking about? That still makes me laugh. Jordan's been doing it for a while. For a long while now.

It's very funny. Every time I'm re-watching an episode, I just out of nowhere, you go, what are you talking about? It's very funny. Every time I'm rewatching an episode, I just out of nowhere, you go, what are you talking about? It's fucking makes me laugh every time. It's so funny. It's so genuinely funny. Like we all do it a lot like right after she's on.

Yeah. But Jordan's been pretty consistent. Well, anytime she comes up, we talk about her. It's still like, it gets revived, you know? Like, just think about how crazy that was. Legends never die. Legends never die. Legends never die, legends. Legends ain't ever die.

They also don't remember. She certainly doesn't. You can't forget what you never knew. No, no, I'm kidding. Yeah, jeez, Liz. You can't remember either. Yeah. An elephant never forgets what I forgot

with the elephant. I'm like, crazy going, well, how was I supposed to know that? I just fucking explained it to you. I wasn't listening. I was like. She's like, always got looking at who know reverse Of a conversation. Yeah, actually I don't care. I will get yeah

Yep, we worked out of the 711 Exxon. Yeah That was us Dude, we talked about busties people don't know we're right next to It was right there though, there there the reason that we kept going yeah, also also we should go there again we should I haven't had it since the last That was like two months ago three months ago. Yeah, it was right before we went to Around the time Chris asked you to I Don't think it was that old

You locked in and forget about it Chris and I talked about Michael never confirmed I never confirmed What were we gonna do and then we fell the busties what fell through? Oh, yeah fucking chicken play It was, yeah, yeah. They closed like two days before that. It didn't just, it wasn't closed. It was closed down. And I was like, oh. They made a post like four years they were open. They made a post like the day before. Hey.

Thanks for our great. Yeah, good run. Yeah. Hey, oh, cool. So long I lasted. All right. Dipping Springs, that was a good name, too. That's what it was.

It's a great name. Dipping Springs. That's a good name. That's a great name. Damn. Well, it just means you have to go back to Busty's. I'll bust out. Yeah, we'll bust. Okay. I'll wear my napkin clothes. Oh, that's right. That's what Nick needs. He just needs his clothes made out of napkins.

He doesn't need a bib. I mean, I'll be all set, honestly. He just needs to be like and then use his shirt to clean his shirt. Anytime someone is opening a sauce back and he's like, I'll get it. I got it. I got it. The jalapenos on that burger are so fucking good.

What a great little addition. But Michael, you're right, that cheese. I don't know how they do it. Dude. Cause like, you know cheese sauce when you get cheese sauce? Cheese sauce is like, you can spot it in my old... It's like they made the cheese. It's real cheese that's like been liquefied to a sauce.

And then they melted it to a perfect intermediary point and then they put it on the burger. Because it's not too runny. No. It's not dripping. It's thick. But it's not like too cumbersome. No, it's so good Fuck it's just man. It just gets in every nook and cranny of the patties. Let's do the day of the show again I'm not doing it day one because that's such a hassle. He's still talking about it It's still all about it. I mean it is close but like then I gotta get there earlier. I already told Chris I couldn't get it earlier I lied.

And he's like, he's gonna run into me and not a damn chance. Well he wouldn't, he'd be on the stage. True. I don't expect him to be on time. For his own, yeah. That's true. You think they're not gonna be scrambling? They are now.

If they're not scrambling, they better start. If you get- He'll find out that that's the food we're eating, so then he'll leave in the middle of his own podcast to go get the food. Can, if he's gonna try to be on our show. Eric can get him one when he's getting all of ours. Yeah, there you go. Get one for Chris and Blaine too.

Yeah, you got it. Go ahead and get six burgers and take a second mortgage out of your place. Exactly. All right, $210, all right. If you guys get panic texts later about that, can you let us know? Oh, please do.

I would love to know. We'll add them here. Yeah, I just really want to. We're gonna show their text messages. Insane. I'll screen them. Look, you should ask first, but if you know, then you don't have to ask, right?

Like if you're good enough at judging, like this isn't revealing too much. You can't just do it without thinking, but you can think, I'm speaking for them, this is fine. Yeah, I do that all the time with people's text messages. I don't know. No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door

from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. You can go to the next one or turn right, loop and then go straight. Because the left turn way- Did Jordan just dox us?

Now they know turn right and loop? It's a 30 second circle. Draw them drama fucking map. Why don't you? Who's Frodo? Okay No, there are maps in the Lord of the Rings books, that's why he's asking Yeah, it doesn't know anything about that is funny. I can say this because we didn't move there. Yeah, I Missed I Missed the connection where with a lot of the one of the places we were looking at was on Helms Deep. Oh yeah.

That's the name of the street. Yeah. And so I've only been referring to the house as Helms Deep until I went there and went, wait, this isn't on Helms Deep? Oh, fuck, that was the house we didn't get. Fuck it. I'm still calling this place Helms Deep. I've been calling it Helms Deep since we knew it was this place forever.

And then like 10 days ago or whatever, whenever I went by the first time, I went, it's not Elms Deep? Oh shit, I'm calling it that anyway. Yeah, it's Elms Deep. I got so excited about like the Frodo lore. Yeah. But it works out because we could have never said that.

Right. Because then we would have Gracied ourselves. Who's Frodo? There it is. What are you talking about? Well Frodo never went to Elms Deep. Wait, I mean what? You can't interact them together.

It's like having two Lindsies and two Gracies. They can't see each other out. At some point, all four people are looking into the center of the car and no one's driving. Yeah. It's just kind of ghosting. Oh, it's supposed to be here too? Oh, man.

That's what it needs to be. The podcast with Gracie and Chris, it needs Lindsay as well. Yeah, oh my god. Well, because Chris too, like, Chris can keep track. He just still is confused or adds confusion for no reason. Yeah. So he'd be there perfectly understanding the conversation they're trying to have,

but not helping them have it. No. And would only be making more confusing. I just think it would be exciting to have Gracie and Chris in the same room. I think so. And then Gracie does not remember who he is. He goes, who are you?

I've never met him before. I don't know who this is. He didn't talk to me. So why are they calling you Pasta Steve? Yeah. Oh my god. New lore just dropped. Pastasies.

I think I played a video game with Pastasies. I think it was a game with a guy named Pastasies. Or was it from a movie? It was a movie with a guy named Pastasies. Gracie was live messaging us or watching the ride us to her watching the ride along. Oh, yeah It was so funny. Oh my god So many cinnamon rolls to one girl is too many symbols for one girl she ate them over like five days Wow I was I'm impressed. I was really surprised. I think I thought I was surprised She still like kept going back to him and like yeah, they're still good. I'm not surprised That was gonna happen. I thought they were gonna be gone last that night

Yes, I guess it makes sense if she didn't house them all in one sitting. Yeah, it was like ration them out I just figured they would be kept going. Oh a little tree But I just figured they'd be like rock hard by the time they probably were And she either ate them anyway, or she put them in the microwave for five seconds I don't cinnamon style. Yes, we need the bail. This is gonna take too long Have the episode is waiting for this turn Should have brought Mario Kart with me I know these suckers. This is what's so gandalf so long. Yeah, that's right

Yeah, what that's the line that the Eagles were The second man this is talking about She would know the band right? What the fuck are you talking about? Were they born before 2010? Sure lucky she remembers our names. Yeah, okay We're like the oldest people she knows. It's true though. It is true.

Like that's totally true. It really is. It's like her parents. Yeah, we really are. We could be older than her parents, who knows. Uh. Probably not that far. No.

I bet we're closer to her parents than she is to us. Oh God. Probably. I would think so. Definitely, Nick. 19 years. is to us. Oh god. Probably. I would think so. Definitely, Nick. 19 years! He just keeps saying how many years since college. It makes him mad. It does! But he keeps doing it. No one else is doing it. He did it last time. I did it the first time and it unlocked him. It unzipped it. I saw people doing it when I was waiting in the moving truck and I was like if I wasn't in this fucking Yeah, 18 foot long thing. I would be over there turning

I was already committed and trapped and Jordan's been doing a great job with this move. He drove the truck around It was yeah, he did and he also moved like all the shit from the old plane Yeah, the leftover stuff tore it up man. Took a couple of trips. Honestly, I kept going back me like oh shit There's more stuff. I went to Home Depot and bought more boxes. Ah. But now we're like, we're here. You were hooked though.

You were just like, I'm gonna finish this. Yeah. That was me with the thermostat. I wanted to kill myself. Yeah, dude, I thought about taking the thermostat down. You guys deal with it. I thought about taking it and being like, you can install the old one again, we're taking ours.

Just because it would be nice to have it at the new place. Yeah. But I- There's still time. I would, I could have, you know, shocked myself or something, you know. No, you can't, it's low voltage. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go for it. Have you just unplugged the one, the thing in the wall? Oh yeah. I had to buy that extra wire. Yeah, yeah. That's not low voltage. It wasn't, yeah, it wasn't wasn't wired into the wires in the wall.

We had to plug it in. Yeah, it was like a whole thing. It was missing like extra power. You had to buy that separately, right? That's so stupid. Yeah, we probably don't need that at the house. Don't, don't, you don't know that. I mean, I do know.

Well, I mean, I'm not saying throw it away. I'm just saying we probably don't need it. The thermostat. It seems to be like a pretty good functioning building. When I was here getting the internet installed, the thermostat didn't work. Yeah. And it was because whoever installed it installed it wrong.

So they had to come and fix it. Yeah, but then what, do you just quit at that point? I guess we have no air conditioning. Yep. And so. That's something that is very easy to recognize you installed is wrong and not something you leave wrong. It's very weird.

I'll tell you another thing about why this place is already better. Is that instead of sending an email to a guy who told us, sorry, that's your problem. Yep. I texted our dude and he was like, I'm on it. I'm sending the guy right now. He got a guy in an hour. Yeah. He got a guy in an hour.

He got an error message how fast that got fixed. The guy came, fixed it and now. He got a guy in an hour. Yeah. He got a guy who was insane how fast that got fixed. The guy came, fixed it, and left before the internet was even getting installed. Yeah. And I feel really bad for the internet guy because it was hot as fuck. We can call that same guy when the rats chew through the ceiling.

Yeah. And the cats start running through the house. The cat from upstairs to downstairs, Nick style? Now it's going to be left to right house cat. Oh, yeah. Sweet. There's going to be like right house cat. Oh yeah. There's gonna be like two cat holes. I won't make the same mistake of helping someone

to save their family. Two cat holes. No, you will, you'll be tricked. No, I won't be tricked. You'll be tricked, don't worry. You'll be tricked. I'm helping this guy move at night. He'll be under the cover of darkness.

This is a really quiet truck. I keep saying don't wake my family. Yeah, this guy's getting tricked. That lady was looking. This guy's getting tricked. That lady was looking. Hey, little looky-loo. Oh, she's curious about her neighbor. All right, let's go get my switch too Yeah, this guy's got a lady was looking guys. Yeah track that lady was looked telling She's curious about her neighbor. All right, let's go get my switch to and get the hell out of here. Yeah, absolutely

The second we were done filming I unpacked it all and packed it away cuz I was like I forget. Yeah I trust you. Let's see. That sounds like you don't. He doesn't cause he's used to you sitting behind him. That's not, oh well. It is true. Now I know why Nick took my spot. What do you mean? I like having a driveway. That's cool.

Yeah, we have a garage too. We have a garage, yeah. Yeah, I don't imagine we'll ever park in there. That's usually, if I'm here myself, that's where I park. Okay, well why don't you go ahead and put yourself in there from now on. What? Ow! Why did you walk? Okay, well, why don't you go ahead and put yourself in there from now on. What? Ow!

Why did you walk? Okay, this is the watch out guy. And then he walked in the tree and flung it at you. Didn't even try. He just walked into it. Ooh, it's Norm kicking out. Be careful, be careful opening the door. All right, now run into this tree.

Watch out, you might smash it in your own nuts. Now they know, we're doxing. Now they know we have a house. There's a tree. There is a driveway. There's a tree. There's a door. Turn right and make the loop. Is that not any of these keys? I don't know. You have a code, don't you we have a house. There's a tree. There is a driveway. There's a tree. There's a door. Turn right and make the loop.

Is there not any of these keys? I don't know. You have a code, don't you? Yeah, but I don't remember it. You know that the key doesn't work for that. Yeah, the key doesn't? The key is this. You're the one who discovered it.

Yeah. Oh, I don't remember that. Oh my God. Watch out. It's unnecessarily long. I can't believe I can't show any of this. Nick, film it. Yeah?

Film him hitting the code and the address. Okay, go on. Beep beep. Guys. I did it. You gotta push? Film him hitting the code and the address. Okay, hang on. Beep beep. I, guys, I did it. You gotta push the bottom one's box. Oh my god. Okay, now you can use your key. Okay.

Go ahead. Whoa, and now the other thing you discovered is still there. Okay, it's not that one. Jesus Christ. Should we have to go through the garage? This looks like a fucking janitor room. This is the right house, right? Is this my buddy's house?

Are you okay? The key doesn't work. I don't know what to tell you. Okay, it very well could be the right house, right? Is this my buddy's house? Are you okay? The key doesn't work! It very well could be the right key, but it does get stuck. It's very sticky. But he's not sure which key is right. These are the two! This is the right key. Because I only have one key left.

His works. Mine's broken! Close the door. Can you zoom in and just show that happening? Just show that. Baby, we'll see. That was nuts. What's funny is that this is only the first time we're recording us coming into the house. This is not the first time we've opened the door. No. Like we know how the door works. We just discovered that the thing didn't unlock with this key.

Every time I come here, I go through the garage. Oh, right. And he has just as much trouble. I've never gone through the front door. We gotta get a little garden in the backyard. We're gonna get Gracie's trampoline. Oh, Gracie's trampoline. We gotta get some jasmine for you.

We can write that off somehow, right? The trampoline? Yeah, if we make content with it. I mean, we're gonna. Shut up about the half court. We can do it. Look, right? The trampoline? Yeah, if we make content with it. I mean, we're gonna. Shut up about the half court. We can do it. Look at the size of the yard. We can do a whole Michael Jordan podcast

in a bouncy house and or trampoline, right? What's it, sorry? We can do a whole episode, Michael Jordan podcast in a bouncy house and or trampoline. We can call it a bouncer lean. Ooh. Dude, we might jump so high. And a half court?

Fucking insane. Hey, why don't you unlock another door? Hey, I bet we could And a half-court? Fucking insane. Hey, why don't you unlock another door? Hey, I bet we could fit a baseball field in there. I know. That's the problem. Yeah. Well, thanks for watching. Yeah, we're back. We don't have any more food. And back at our home.

We ate the food already. That's just his phone. Mine didn't do that. Well, only it's just because it's below 20% battery. It must be! I'm good, man. All right, get a new phone. You wanna spend that money?

Okay. It's so delayed, it's like, you're filling- What about the tariffs? Yeah, they're gonna get you. What about them? Act now. Bye. Or forever hold- In the stock market. Forever hold your dick. Okay, bye. Forever hold your dick?

You heard him. Now hold it. You heard it, now do it.