100% Eat - Applebee's 25 Cent Wings & $1 Vodka Cranberry Lemonade

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review the Applebee's 25 Cent Wings & $1 Vodka Cranberry Lemonade so you know if it’s worth eating. They also talk about Applebee's name origins, if it's different from Chili's, and more. Sponsored by DoorDash. Download the DoorDash app and use code FACEJAM for $5 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it, and you probably do. Thanks to DoorDash for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, what up? Uhhhh. Yeah? Uhhhh. Harsh, dude. We haven't- that's gonna turn listeners off, and I wanna turn them on. You're right.

I mean, feeling good in the neighborhood. Yeah, dude. Speaking of the neighborhood, we just went to Applebee's. We dug into their 25 cent wings. That's right. You heard me. One quarter for one wing, 25 cent wings and $1 vodka cranberry lemonade. I don't know how they did it, but I'll tell you this.

They did it because we were there. I wouldn't believe it if you told me and it happened. We went. There were wings. There were vodka. The cost was real. There was no trap. We checked. Eric, don't you laugh at this.

This is a serious situation. Eric called ahead to make sure that it was a real thing. He called this specific Applebee's and said, you got the wings, right? And they were like, we got them. And it's true. It's all true. It was a little hidden. They did not

really advertise it on the menu or anything. We went there and for the first time ate at the restaurant because I'll say this, it was dine-in only. Yeah. You could not order 400 wings, pay $100 and leave. They forced you to sit at the table. There was a

man, I don't know if you guys saw this, there was a man in the back watching and he was like don't you move a muscle. If you get out of your seat your wings are forfeit. You did have some left over and they did not even ask if we wanted to take them home. I'll tell you what happened with the wings that got left over they put them right not even ask if we wanted to take them home. I'll tell you what happened with the wings that got left over.

They put them right back in the pile, and that's how they saved money. They put them in the Home Depot bucket. I'll point out, because I didn't know this until just before we went, they're boneless. And that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it does. Because the bone costs extra. That's what I was thinking. I'm like, you can't get a quarter wing with a bone in it?

But it is more chicken. Yeah. So it's a better deal. It's like, you can't get a quarter wing with a bone in it? But it is more chicken. Yeah. So it's a better deal. It's 100% eat. It's a better deal. It's 100% eat. What are you laughing at? It's 100% eat.

Oh, you know the way we classically describe boneless wings? How much eat is this? You ever eat a steak? You ever eat a really expensive steak? And you're like, this steak was $70. It's like, wow, how much eat was it? Michael tried to be very serious and could not. He barely got that out.

You're making me laugh. It's true. How much eat is a typical bone-in wing? Oh, I'd say it's probably 70% eat. 70, 75% eat? What are you saying? What are you thinking? I think it's like 50 to 60%.

Oh, I mean, proving even more of my point. Yeah. 50 to 60% eat versus a one for one eat. That's something to consider. If you're hungry, you can eat every damn bite. There's no fat. There's no leftovers. There's no bones. Jordan, get off your phone, please.

We're doing the podcast now. Sorry, my car's ready. Okay, great. This guy, every time, it's about his car. Sorry, my car's ready. Okay, great. This guy, every time, it's about his car. We had a car incident at the Applebee's. Thanks, man. It was an almost incident. Also, Jordan was late, and we got stuck in traffic going there.

Bullshit. Not bullshit. The traffic was already there. That has nothing to do with you being late. I was supposed to be here at 3 o'clock. Wow, is 7 minutes late late or on time? I think it's late. It is late. It's in the damn phrase, seven minutes

late. I was seven minutes on time. How much eat is that? That was zero eat. I'll tell you, it was about three extra cups of water. That's what it was, because Eric and I were just sitting here drinking water, and you were supposed to be at 3 o'clock.

I think about 2.55. He was like, let's go stand outside and wait. That way once he gets here, we'll hop right in. We were outside for about 90 seconds. And he was like, yo, it's hot. Let's go back inside. And then I had more cups of water. Not coconut water.

Coconut flavored water. There's a difference. Set the record straight. There's a difference. I think this is better. It's also less bougie. You also have three cups of it. I brought three. I'm thirsty. I didn't want to get the record straight. There's a difference. I think this is better. It's also less bougie. You also have three cups of it. I brought three.

I'm thirsty. I didn't want to get up. You know? Don't judge me for my water consumption. I ask this all the time, but what is your past experience and familiarity with the restaurant with which we attended? So I'm excited about this usually it's in the past at least for what we've recorded so far not very familiar or um you know it's been quite some time and i will say applebee's has been quite some time i don't know that i've ever been there since i've moved to

texas maybe maybe once or twice honestly if i've been to an applebee's it was actually probably why i wasn't here because a lot of times if we do uh if we would travel for work and you're like in the middle of nowhere at a hotel there's like a fucking apple bees or chilies within walking distance always right next they're always there it's like this one was by a hotel yeah it's like i guess i'll eat it that and you point at it and then you walk two minutes and you're there but not counting that it's been a while but when i lived in new jersey probably a hundred times i've been to applebee's it was uh the applebee's was like the place to go it was connected to my mall um so that was like one of the entrances you could go into an applebee's and then like you go out the front door or go out the mall door um and when i was in high school i had to go there a

lot with friends and they had their, it's like late night apps. It was like after 10 p.m. Their apps were half price. So it's like you'd live like a king. And they're continuing the value to this day. Even then, it was no 25 cent menu item. It was like, hey, the, you know, $6 mozzarella sticks are only $3 past 10. And they're open late.

They're open until like, depending on where you go. But most places like 1, 2 a.m. They're also open on Christmas and Thanksgiving. There was a big sign. They really were pushing it. Open until 2 a.m. Christmas and Thanksgiving. I'm like, that's awesome for people that have nothing to do. Awful for people that have to work there.

Could you imagine? Why can't you make Christmas? It's like, I'm serving apps. This guy came in and ordered 500 wings. Some lonely people who have nowhere better to be on Christmas. I have to feed them. That's a damn shame. But, you know, let's just assume they had nothing to do.

It's fine. Some people have nothing to do. Not everybody's busy on Christmas. Not everyone celebrates Christmas. Some people are like, that's true. Hey, good point. That's being inclusive to our listeners that are like, I hate Christmas. Fuck that.

Yeah, so does Applebee's so you got something in common no no no they don't hate Christmas they love value and they love their customers and they welcome you at all times I think the problem is if they're not open on those days they're not going to break even

they're not going to make enough money to stay open I don't know how they make money the economics of this 25 cent wing deal. It's wild. They confound me, to be frank. How many wings do they have to sell in order to make money? I don't think that there's ever a number. I think it's probably like an entry level thing, like

get your foot in the door kind of thing. I think so. We discussed that. Get seats in the table. That's why it's dining only. That's what you're trying to say. Get seats in the table, is what you're saying? Inside the table inside the table yeah just climb on top that woman came by and asked you to get off the table at one point i was a little i was like ma'am i think i know what i'm doing but we actually this is what you want we tried to break down the business decision behind it when we were there of like how are they making money off this and there was a lot of investigating

going on eric was reading many flyers and advertisements. What did you find out? There are dollar regular Coors. There's two dollars. Coors. Yeah. Coors. That's just how he says it.

Coors. Coors. How do you say door? Door. Coors. Makes no sense. Coors. Coors.

Now you got it. Yeah. Coors light. It was regular Coors. But $2 Miller Lights. Miller Light. They had like $4 fireball

shots. I was confounded by the amount of deals they had at Applebee's. There were deals everywhere. That you are fucking slammed with the second you walk in. It's like deal overload, sensory overload with deals. Back at the top of the show, I mentioned Eric called the specific Applebee's

to make sure that they had the deal. It was still going. They offered it. We got there. Nothing mentioned about it. Nowhere. We got nervous. We did.

They were advertising everything else. There was 1,000 flyers about the things that were like sales or promotions. $1 Coors, $2 Miller Lite for some reason. They had the menus, which had like fold outs. They had the little triangle cards on the table. We were each given two menus. There were two menus that we were handed. Neither talked about this deal.

It was nowhere to be found. But living in the modern age. No, no. about this deal. It was nowhere to be found. But living in the modern age. No, no. I mean, we still ask, but living in the modern age, they had the reorder slash checkout little computer. Oh, yeah. I'm a millennial.

Don't talk to me. Well, here's the thing. You got to talk once. You got to make that conversation happen one time. But the second it's over, thank God you can bow out. And if you want to reorder food or you want to pay and leave without speaking to a human it's possible you can just pay and run escape um but there was the little you know tablet thing on the on the table

and i started browsing through that and you can swipe through and it's like promotion promotion promotion five back it was like 25 cent wings and i was like we got it how do you not lead with that we got it but because they don't make any money they don't want people to know it's a thing that they offer thing is that they want people in the restaurant they want you in the restaurant but then they don't want you to order it it was nowhere to be found so we had if we had been there for any other reason like if we weren't there specifically i would have never seen it never we wouldn't have seen it and we would have been like, I'm kind of afraid to ask. Let's just order something else. And then they make more money.

And I think that's why the thing exists. So we saw it. We asked about it. She's like, yeah, that's a thing. Eric asked about the dollar vodka cranberries. Those exist too, she said. I'll say this, like surprisingly,

because I really expected, I'll be honest, my bar was not high for these things. And I also, my bar was not high for their, the employees' reception of it, of like what sort of people are coming in to order 25 cent wings and $1 drinks, and like what do they have to deal with? They're probably like their least favorite type of customer.

She was very like, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like people, well, she didn't say this, but it was very like, oh, people are Ortonos all the time. People love this. You know? She was like, sure.

Yeah. Eric almost apologized as he ordered them. He was like, Hey, we're just going to, and, and I know this because he was like, Hey, we're just going to, we're going to get he was like, hey, we're just going to get the dollar drinks. And she said, that's okay. Almost like, don't feel bad. That's exactly what happened. And she was right, but she was very nice about it.

She was a great waitress. It's not like she had much else to do. It was fucking empty. And I mean, this was a decent size. It wasn't like a tiny little chintzy. Maybe Jordan looked it up. Excellent use of the word. Since the last time, I don't know if he did look it up. I did. It's like cheap.

He said small. It's more like shitty. It's really shitty is what it is. Like cheap and shitty. That's a word I know. It was a nice Applebee's. Clean. Good looking restaurant. Empty. Absolutely easy to keep clean. Absolutely empty. Zero foot traffic. I think there was legitimately one other.

There was a dude at the bar. Yeah, a sad dude at the bar. Two other people. There might have been a couple before we got there, but then they left. They left. And then a couple other people came in. Walking in, parking lot empty. Tons of space. Yeah. Nice. Walking in, parking lot empty.

Tons of space. Yeah. Nice big parking, especially for Austin. Austin parking, awful. A lot of parking for an Applebee's. Someone decided, I guess I'm going to go to Applebee's eventually. They were parked right at the front, the closest possible parking. It was a row of handicapped spots.

I didn't even look to see if they had the plate or the placard i feel inclined to think that they did i hope but the other spot next to it was to go parking it was handicapped next to to go they were literally right on the line they were in both car was the car was 50 in two slots and i'm like the whole fucking parking lot is empty. There's 30 spaces and you're parked in the to-go and the handicapped at the same time and she was just sitting in her car with the door open. Just hanging out. Literally just hanging out. I don't know what was going on. We got out and I was like, look at the car,

look at the car. And Eric's like, I see it. As we walked past, I was like, this is crazy. This is crazy right now. This is already done. It was pretty long. We haven't even gone in yet, and it's already crazy. She didn't try to sell us anything, unfortunately. Hey, they're all at a 25 cent wage. I say 50 cents each.

I have 200 in my car. We'll sell them for $10 each. We were seated very quickly. Oh, yeah. Because we walked walked in and someone woke up and screamed, they're here! That man who called earlier actually came.

Had a nice booth on the outer wall. It was a little bright. Jordan lowered the blinds. Yeah. Because the sun was in his eye. The sun was in Eric's eyes. He did me a favor. And they didn't say anything. I thought maybe they'd come by and go,

Sir, don't touch that, please. They didn't. We're good. My response would have been, it's an Applebee's. Jordan was like 10 years older than the waitress. I think she would have been okay. I think actually what she thought was, you could lower those. But it was good.

It was a good environment. Listen, if you need to go somewhere to think, go to that Applebee's. It's either that or the library. It was fucking quiet. Okay. Around the horn was on.

I kept seeing Applebee's commercials on the TVs while we were at Applebee's and it was like an inception moment. Yeah, dude. I did not like it. You were like, I gotta go back,

but I'm still here. Where do I go from here? I was already in inception moment. Yeah, dude. I did not like it. You were like, I got to go back, but I'm still here. Yeah. Where do I go from here? I was already in the neighborhood. Jesus. So we've got some facts here. Some Applebee's facts. Oh, my God.

This is crazy. I'm going to hit them with it. I'm going to blow your mind. Applebee's was almost called Cinnamon's Peppers and Apple Buys? Yes. Wow. Cinnamon's Peppers and Apple Buys. It's just Applebee's.

I pronounce it Applebuys. Well, I mean, it's spelled different. Why would that be? It's B-Y. Applebee is B-E-E. But that's how you say that surname. Applebuys. All right.

Is Applebee B-Y a surname? Who the fuck's named that? Who? Like a football player, I'm pretty sure. All right. Is Apple B-B-Y a surname? Who the fuck's named that? Who? Like a football player, I'm pretty sure. Holy shit. Apple B- So that's all- That whole thing is the name?

No, no. It would have been any of those. Those names, yes. Oh, cinnamons, peppers, or Apple B's. The and threw me off. Right, right, right. Note that for the future. Got it.

You can work on that. The original name was TJ Apple B's Edibles and Elixirs. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Our sound guy, Mike Purtle, has been there. He mentioned that the other day. He's like, he's 400 years old. When a restaurant has elixirs in the title?

Edibles. I remember that because I remember I walked into that comment and I was like, you there, boy. I've never met you before. Try this elixir. No snake oil here. Amazing. The Wings used to be a scent back then. There were one copper piece.

They didn't even invent the penny yet. Edibles and potables. TJ Applebee's Edibles and elixirs what year was that i probably the 70s he said he said that all of a sudden i don't know if you knew this mike is actually a vampire that's true so he went at night uh he said he got the app he said that one day it was called that and then the next day It was called Applebee's and it was everywhere

Damn that's cool So it turns out the other shit was holding them back Yeah That's too long a word Hey guys wanna go to TJ Applebee's Edibles and elixirs You would say that other people wouldn't I mean that's just such a long name

You get tired saying it Five words I'm exhausted There are 1900 locations wouldn't. I mean, that's just such a long name. God. You get tired saying it. Five words. I'm exhausted. There are 1,900 locations in 15 countries. Eric thinks, that's too many. 15 countries. How many? Man, they're out there.

I'm surprised you didn't list the 15 countries. I was actually a little disappointed you didn't list them. You listed 10 states last time. I yelled that last time for having so many states. Well, but the thing is, all the states is one country. Uh-huh. This is variety. Are 70% of those locations in America? I would argue a lot. What's the breakdown? It's probably a lot.

I think mostly a lot. 98%. I think there's like one Applebee's in like Lebanon. There's like a couple in Greece. It's pretty weird. It would have been great if you wrote that down. Applebee's is owned by IHOP. Which is better? Applebee owned by IHOP. Which is better? Applebee's. IHOP.

Discourse. I feel like you said it just because I said Applebee's. No. Discourse. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Have a real opinion for once, Jordan. Okay.

IHOP's better. Okay. Here's the thing about IHOP. You can order whatever you want at IHOP. Why would you go there if you're not going for breakfast? And who goes and gets breakfast? This show aside, fuck going out for breakfast. I'm with you.

I don't even eat breakfast, let alone get up and leave the house. You have two bastard children that don't let you. They don't let me do shit. But even before my bastard kids, like, I don't eat before, like, 1030 in the morning. And then at that point, it's brunch. And if you're getting brunch, just eat lunch. You know what I mean? Just do yourself a favor.

Eat a sandwich. It's just the progression of the day, you know? When you're right, you're right. You could also go to IHOP for breakfast at dinner time. See, I'll give you that. If you want breakfast later in the day, that's a good choice. There you go. But I would never be caught dead going to IHOP for a cheeseburger at 4 p.m.

Yeah, I mean. So does that change your answer? Is Applebee's better than IHOP or IHOP better than Applebee's? Oh, Applebee's is better. For sure. For sure. I'm not entirely convinced I've ever been to an Applebee's before today. I know I've been to a Chili's, but I don't know if it was actually an Applebee's.

No, I think it's the same as Applebee's. They're the same. They are the same. Read the last fact for me. Do you want me to jump to the last? Yeah, just read that one for me real quick. The half-off appetizers are kind of the only reason to eat at Applebee's. Right.

I'd agree. I'd more or less agree. Granted, also, it helped the decision of, like, my prime time in my life at Applebee's was high school with no money. So that was like, doy, this is fucking classy food. This is like, this is a real mozzarella stick that they microwaved or whatever. This is why I think they're the same restaurant because the half-off appetizers makes it competitive with whatever Chili's does. So to me, it will be

I'll go to either one. It doesn't matter. They're the same restaurant to me. 100%. I'm just looking. They're the same restaurant. I'm just like, I've never put that much thought into it. I've dissected this.

As an adult, because I don't have to get the half off because I have money. I can order whatever food I want. Like if I want a whole full price cheeseburger. Right.

But if I'm going there, don't you feel like you're getting ripped off if you're paying full price for a cheeseburger at Applebee's or Chili's? No, I absolutely know.

I feel like I'm getting quality sense. Yeah. I feel like I'm getting ripped. Don't go there. I think that goes back to the edibles and elixirs. They're selling me snake oil.

You gotta be a smart consumer. Don't let smooth-talking DJ Applebee get the better of you. Also, here's the thing. So I read the half-off thing, and then the next fact is, Chili's and Applebee's are the same restaurant. Weird! I told you to read the last fact. I ignored you and just read the second to last.

But yeah, they totally are. Like, I think of them as the same thing. I feel like they're the same thing. They just sometimes offer different shit. Even then, the different shit is usually promotionally based. Yes. If there were no promotions, they would be clone restaurants. But it's like Chili's right now is doing this thing.

Applebee's is doing this thing. If I see a Chili's commercial, I think that could just be an Applebee's commercial. The only thing that Chili's has is because they never shut the fuck up about it in its existence is the ribs because they got the song. That's true.

I'm pretty sure you can get ribs at Applebee's. I don't know why you couldn't. And also the ribs at Chili's. They probably go make them for you. The ribs at Chili's are not good in any way. You want to read one? You're holding a piece of paper. You stole one last time.

We're done reading them. We're moving on. We're not done. That's all the facts. No, it's not. We're not done. Jesus Christ. Read the next fact.

Okay. They keep their recipes a heavily guarded secret. I guess microwaves are a big secret or something. Whatever. That's a good one, Eric. He wanted to skip that. Can you believe it? He wanted to move right past it.

Can you believe it? Listen, we don't know. But probably. I'll tell you, we ordered those wings today. They came out fast. know what probably. I'd say, we ordered those wings today. They came out fast. They were hot. I remember at one point, you bit into one of the multiple batches we ordered.

I burned the roof of my mouth. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. I went, is it spicy or hot? You were like, hot. You were doing the juggle in your mouth. Don't let it touch the roof of your mouth. Flip it around your tongue. I burned the roof of my mouth. See, that's again where we did it.

I just spit it right out. I've done that before. I'm like, hot. And I just spit it on the plate. I should have. It only cost a quarter. I mean, you put it back in your mouth. I'm not going to eat that.

That's been in someone's mouth. Whose mouth? My mouth. But I'm not going to eat it. It's just I assume the common courtesy is don't spit your chewed food out on the plate. But listen, again, nobody was there. We were at Applebee's. There you go. The waitress would have been like, people are spitting out their chicken all the time.

That was the least number of times I've ever seen someone spit out chicken. It's probably a prop bet where it's like, I better get this guy to spit out his chicken. People walk in, they go, you think we're going to have to wipe the seats down? What kind of mess are they going to make? Look at this slob. Look at this guy's mustache.

I guess it is questionable. You see a guy like that walking in. Jordan, I want to thank DoorDash for sponsoring this podcast, helping bring this podcast to life. FaceJam, I love it. You love it. We love food. And we love DoorDash for it. That's a matter of fact.

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3,300 cities. Yeah, dude. And then you Door ones some applesauce. 3,300 cities. Yeah, dude. And then you door dash something for daddy. Yeah, or, I mean, you know, I love my kids a moderate amount, so I might door dash for them, too. You know, get them some chicken nuggets or something. Yeah, throw them some extras. The baby doesn't eat chicken nuggets yet.

You can blend those up. I could do, like, a mommy bird thing, but we're getting off subject here. We're talking about door dash. It's great. You know, it takes care of the work for you. You can keep doing what you're doing. Maybe you're listening to this podcast

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everybody wins. You win, we win, and your tummy wins. And that's what it's all about. It's about tummy happiness. That's what the show's all about. We're gonna get those numbers up. Statistics have shown tummies, they've been depressed over the years. The numbers are going down. There's a recession

in tummy. There's a recession in tummy enjoyment. And we're trying to bring that back up. It's like a roller coaster. We lowered tummy interest rates to give it a little bit of a surge for the consumers. And tummy enjoyment is hopefully going to make a comeback. But DoorDash. We're talking about DoorDash.

That's right. It's the food app. You want the food, you use the app. You don't want the tummy stock app. No, no, no, no, no. You want DoorDash and you want good tummy vibes. I'll be honest, 2019 tummies, happiness, it's coming back. And DoorDash is helping do that. Thank you, DoorDash.

Don't forget, that's promo code FACEJAM. $5 off your first order from DoorDash. Boom do that. Thank you, DoorDash. Don't forget, that's promo code FACEJAM. $5 off your first order from DoorDash. Boom. Let's get back to the show. We ordered three dozen to start. Yep. Which, three dozen wings was $9 to start. Yes.

We each had a dozen. I was glad. 36 wings. Eric got to eat his own food for once. It was nice. I'm glad I got to eat all of it. Jordan didn't give him the scraps. He did. But also, please, if you're gonna go with quarters in your pocket,

make sure you have enough for the tip. Make sure you have enough for the blue cheese. Which also costs extra. That's something, we read the fine print, we knew that going in. 50 cents. If there's one thing that's a scam, it's the fact that they gave it to us without telling us. So we ordered the wings.

I didn't order the celery. Again. Well, the celery didn't cost anything. They did not. Celery is extra, but she didn't charge us for the celery. I'll be honest with you. She liked us. Yes.

She liked me. Jordan was pretty rude, but she liked me. She liked the table as a whole. I think Eric and I covered for the table, and he was like... All that bad-mouthing I did. It wasn't what you said. It's what you didn't say. He could have been nicer.

He could have been a little cheerier. He could have been a little more, Oh, hi, how was your day? Why didn't you ask her how her day was? I guess I was really rude of me. That's a great question. I'm just saying. There's something to be said for what wasn't said. Yeah, and I feel like she got really mad about me specifically not asking it.

Yeah, definitely. Well, you were the furthest from her. Also, she gave me an extra wing. That's true. In your second dozen chicken, I got 13. I feel like that was a little growth that fell off of another chicken ball. No, I think she liked it. No, you know. We were there. We both saw the same thing.

I had a moment where I went, oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Also, if anything was probably off-putting to her, it's that they were tiny little chicken balls. Very small. Eat with a fork. Sure, they're not. There's no bone. Jordan felt the need to get a knife and cut them. Some of mine were really big.

No. He was sitting there cutting his boneless chicken wings with a fork and a knife. Some of them were borderline chicken tenders. He was chopping it into this weird pulled pork type mess. Eric even commented on it. I saw the fork and knife. Then I looked

back and I just saw the chopped mess all over his plate. I don't know what was going on. It made Eric anxious for some reason. I've just never seen someone do that. Ever. Some of them were big. You put it on the fork and then you just bite it. You take a bite.

You take one bite. You take a bite out of half of it. Then you take the second bite and eat it. This way I can eat the whole thing. When we sat down. Look how clean my sweater is. Okay, mine's clean too. Yeah, you had a bib. Mine's clean. I did have a bib. You did have a bib. I did have a bib. I'm pretty sure my bib was clean, but even if it wasn't,

I covered myself. What does the PR say about 25 cent wings? 25 cent boneless wings. It's that time of year again. Baseball, basketball, I burped. Hockey and football are all happening at once. What better way to celebrate than by watching

it all with some 25 cent boneless wings. I didn't write this. This is off their website. Because right now, we're serving up 25 cent boneless wings covered in our classic buffalo sauce for a limited time, dine-in only. I'm just saying, that's how they market it.

Read the next part. Vodka cranberry lemon? Served in a 10-ounce mug, the $1 vodka cranberry lemonade is a delicious blend of vodka, Tropicana lemonade, and ocean spray cranberry juice, the perfect mix to cheers over a Thanksgiving reunion. This cocktail is a drink our guests know and love, but with a seasonal twist. What?

This is how they sell it. That's why they're open on Thanksgiving. Listen. Some people can come get liquored up one dollar at a time. My favorite part is the PR statement that follows. Oh, my God. Patrick Kirk, vice president of beverage innovation. Another great time.

Do restaurants just make up titles? That is not a thing you put on your resume. The best drink deal you'll find this November across the country. It's basically Black Friday every day at Applebee's. Wow. And you don't even have to get at Applebee's. Wow. And you don't even have to get up at 5 a.m. And don't because they're not open yet. Yeah.

And also, no one will be there. Jordan, very busy schedule. Had to make sure we stayed late on a Friday to do this because he couldn't skip a meeting. Yeah, I have a job. Yeah, I do too. I just, I feel like the one-two of here's the PR statement from the chicken and then the drink followed by the innovator of beverages. But Jordan wanted to do a repeat of Popeye's and ask,

can we go at 10 in the morning? And I'm like, they don't open until like 1, 12, 1. I have no idea. Let's see. They don't do breakfast because they're smart. Well, they don't want to compete with IHOP. Applebee's closes at 2 a.m. Yeah, I said that.

It opens at 10.30 in the morning. That's shocking. That's insane. And they don't serve breakfast, though. So you're going there for burgers or wings or mozzarella sticks at 10.30 in the morning. Looks like at 10.30 in the morning and at 2 a.m. We were there at what? Quarter to 4?

Yeah. Like 4 p.m. And it was fucking empty. Why would you open before 4 o'clock? Why would you open before 6? I could honestly see more people being there closer to 2 because people get off work and go get hammered there for a dollar a drink because it's quite frankly it's black friday every day yeah at applebee's but 10 30

that blew my mind right now we almost could have gone at 10 o'clock in the morning i don't i don't think i could live up to the title vice president of beverage innovation what do you do after this drink right are you just right fuck what do do I make next? This isn't even that innovative. I will say, having eaten the food first and then reading these press releases, it kind of makes me retroactively hate them more.

You hated it when we were there. I didn't hate it. You were already in a mood. Also, here's one more, by the way. One more fact we didn't get to. What? Of the awards? Applebee's has won numerous awards like Forbes, America's Best Managed Companies, and Hospitality Magazine's Chain of the Year. It's been recognized for employee care

and a stable career path that fosters growth. Are they hiring if this podcast doesn't take off? Man. You know, between the... How are you going to twist this nice thing't take off. Man. You know, between the- How are you going to twist this nice thing around, and there it is. That's how you did it. It's not a twist. There's no dig.

There's no- It's nice. There's no thing there, and then Eric just- I'm just asking. He just poofs on it at the end. The answer is yes, of course they're hiring. Dude. You could be the guy to fix the fucking proprietor sign that Jordan ripped off the wall when we were leaving.

We walked in and I made a specific note to like, oh, look, it's Jeff so-and-so. This is a proprietor. And then we walked out. It was torn down. And Jordan's like, hey, look at this. Anybody see this? And Eric and I were both like, that was up when we walked in. That was up.

So he tried to hang it back on the wall. And then we turned around and it was on the ground. It clearly wasn't sticking to the wall. They were trying to glue it back on the wall and then we turned around and it was on the ground. It clearly wasn't sticking to the wall. They were trying to glue it to brick. Jordan put it back up and walked away and I have a picture of him exiting the frame like Bigfoot. I said it looks like

police surveillance. Have you seen this man? Have you seen the back half of this man? It's like part of his face and an arm walking out of the shot and the thing's on the wall and then the next shot is us walked away and it's like part of his face and an arm walking out of the shot. And the thing is on the wall. And then the next shot is us walked away and it's just on the ground. Oh, man. That pretty much sums up the adventure.

Well, I was saying forever gone. I think we trailed off, though. But the sauce was extra. They didn't ask. Yep. I should say they asked, but they were like, what kind of sauce do you want? Blue cheese or ranch? And I was like, both.

Which, to be fair, I thought. That's a whole dollar right there you just committed us to. Actually, Jordan, it was $2 because we each got both. Oh, fuck. See, I thought she'd bring one of each. Yeah. Although, did you get? You didn't get sauce.

I did. Did you? Yeah. So that was three right there. Yeah. But that means she didn't charge us for one then because she liked me. I got a second cup. She didn't charge us for the last round.

Yes, because so did I. I also got an extra ranch. She didn't charge me for that. So we saved on top of the savings. Boom. But yeah, we were like, oh, now who's the grifter's Applebee's? She didn't say, I'm going to warn you. Those are 50 cents a cup.

We just got it. And she just boldly assumed we had the money to pay for it. We could have been one of the secret shoppers. Could have reported her for not doing it right. For not charging us? Yeah. Okay. We ended up ordering seven drinks.

Yes. Four and a half dozen wings. Yes. 54 wings. Yes. Air quotes. And the sauce Which amounted to $3 But actually I think she gave two of us Two extras for free It would have been four

So we got 54 wings And seven drinks And after tax It was $25 Yeah $25. Yeah. $25. Correct.

And I was stuffed. I ate a dozen and a half. I ate 20. So did I. Oh, you ate 20. I ate 18. You ate 20. The other thing which we didn't mention,

on the first round, for all three of us, the drink, very light. Light cranberry, very light colored like it was clearly cranberry with mostly what looked to be water like a glint of red couldn't taste the alcohol really at all second round you could immediately tell that they were like a deeper red yeah they sat it down and it was like we all went oh it was more opaque i'll say actually like we we all had one and then eric was like should we get another round? And Jordan went, I'm good.

I was still drinking mine. I know, but I'm just saying. You were like, I'm good. Well, you were like, I'm good, and also, I hate this, essentially, is what you said. I don't want another one of these. I will say I hated it at first, and then I stirred it, and it tasted way better.

Okay, you didn't mention that. There you go. That's good. He saved it for the episode. That was smart. Then they dropped off the second round and we all went what the fuck definitely a deeper red

then the third one fucked me up I think there was some sort of loyalty program where the more you ordered what is drink 5 like they got drink 5 they just come up to you and punch you in the face.

They got deeper red and way more alcohol. So I was sipping it out of a straw and on my third one, I was like, Jordan, you gotta try this one.

It's like sucking a lemon. It's strong. So I drank out of the top. Jordan, you pulled the straw out almost like, I'm not gonna get those germs but then still drank

out of the cup which I commented like, it's still the same thing but whatever, almost like, I'm not going to get those germs, but then still drank out of the cup, which I commented, like, it's still the same thing, but whatever. And went like, hmm. Yeah, it tasted like cranberry. You put the straw back in, and then you were like, whoa. Because I had a hunch. You had a hunch, much like, I guess, your other drink that they didn't mix. It was all at the bottom.

And it was way more than mine. I felt it. I mean, I had three, so I felt it walking out of there. Three bucks! And you can tell it's the cheap vodka because it just tastes like medicine. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was the bottom shelf. The medicine makes the medicine go down.

I didn't taste any lemonade. The cranberry is there. Same. There's no lemonade. I agree. It was vodka and cranberry. It was vodka and cranberry, definitely. But I mean, hey, it's the seasonal twist. There's no lemon. I agree. It was vodka and cranberry for sure. It was vodka and cranberry, definitely. It was— But I mean, hey, it's the seasonal twist. That's what you came here for, was the cranberry. The only—

I imagine. The biggest downside, right, because like the quality and price of food aside, we sat down, we were seated, we had drink orders, we had food orders, we had more drinks, We had more drinks. We had more food. Very cheap. Erica's like puts it in like 25% tip on this bill is like $6. And I go, that's a shame.

That's the worst part of it. That's awful for this waiter or waitress. She was great. She was the biggest travesty. For this waiter or waitress. She was great. She was a great waitress. She was a really great waitress. She was really nice. She had everything there. This is a travesty. I pointed this out and you also picked up on it. You got both dipping sauces

and it was ranch and blue cheese and you didn't even touch the ranch. And I said both because you said ranch or blue cheese. You said ranch, and I wanted blue cheese, so I said both thinking we'd get one of each, but she brought two of each. So I didn't touch the ranch because I didn't want it. You didn't want it. And I guess

she noticed that, and when you ordered your second round, she only brought you blue cheese. Right. Because that's what you want. That was smart. That was very, very attentive. I felt like I was taken care of. And I feel like she's taken care of because she has a stable career path that fosters growth at Applebee's. And she gets to make extra money on Christmas when she's working until 2 a.m. She can put in the hours.

Man, I hope she's not working 3 to 2 a.m. That's an awful shift. Jordan, they open at 10.30. She's working from 10.30 to 2 a.m. Oh, well, then that's fine. Yeah, so what did you think of the food and rate it? So the drink was confusing to me. I want my second cup.

It was confusing. Jesus. Because we first get it. Again, it's translucent. It's watered down. It's very light. It's barely red. No lemonade to be found.

Barely any cranberry taste and also somehow no vodka taste. Then that second one comes. What were you drinking? There was no cranberry, lemonade or vodka. It was weird. It was dyed ice. It was just a hint of

the cranberry and the vodka. But the second one, they definitely put more into it. And the inconsistency is what bothers me. I don't need this, like, pay-to-win, you know, kind of deal at Applebee's. You want to be treated fair on your first dollar. Yeah. Not your second or third. I don't need to prove my loyalty to TJ Palmer and Applebee's.

I feel like she was just trying to get more than a dollar tip. I'll be honest. She's like, fuck, this guy just has a dozen wings and a drink. That's four dollars. I'm fucked. I mean... There were three of us, though. You could walk in and pay four dollars for a meal.

That is a full meal. That is a sit-down restaurant. I was stuffed. Everything I ate was under eight8, which is insane. Like my portion of the meal was under $8, which is insane to me. But again, the craftsmanship of the food. Oh, that's right. You have to rate that.

Yeah. It's troubling. And I thought even your second. It's troubling. That is spitting. It's troubling. That is spitting. It's troubling. I didn't know we were troubled. Fuck, man.

Did I not look troubled while I was there? So many things happen around me I guess I'm not observant of. Here's the troubling thing. Even your second batch of wings looked better than the first batch. That's true. They looked like they had more sauce. They had... I'll be honest, They had a ton of sauce throughout. They were all coated evenly.

I didn't have a problem with my first sauce. I also didn't chop mine up with a knife. There were a lot of mines. A lot of mines didn't have even coating of sauce. You should have licked the knife to get the sauce that you were taking off. You should have.

That was troubling. You going to. Got him. Slam dunk. God, that was troubling. You going to let me do my review? Do it. Thank you. He's getting fired up. I like it. I don't need this shit.

He's pushing back. You know that scene in Ratatouille when he makes... I'm glad you pushed back for that, you fucking dork. When he makes the dish and the food critic goes back in time to when he was a kid and there's the dishes his mom made and it makes him feel young again. I had that, but bad with the chicken wings. It was like ratatouille, but bad. It reminded me of the shitty like microwave Tyson boneless chicken wings I used to eat

when I was a garbage kid. So I didn't really like that. Also, I don't like this having to buy into... I don't need to buy out half the Applebee's to get quality food. Two dollars? What do you mean? The value has nothing to do with it.

What are you talking about buying out half the Applebee's? What does that even mean? The value has nothing to do with it. What are you talking about buying out half the apple piece? What does that even mean? What are you saying? The value has nothing to do with it. What did you buy out? I'm just saying, for me to get to the point where the food is actually prepared the way it's supposed to be, I would need to buy four or five rounds of wings and drinks. He's talking about the consistency.

It only got better with time, and you'd have to get to round four or five before it gets to a level that you disagree with what he's saying. Well, that's why you both get scores. This is my experience. So we need Jordan's score. It's unbelievable how mediocre it was. Uh-huh. It's right smack dab in the middle. It's a 50.

Okay. Solid 50. Solid 50. Okay. Michael. He also commented while we were eating them that he was, so it was just Buffalo. That was the only style. There weren't options.

It's 25 cents. You take what you can get. Beggars can't be choosers. Well, that's not what your whole argument is. I never said a damn word about the sauce. Just everything else. And the options. I was fine with that. I actually was shocked at how

like, coated they were, at how flavorful the sauce was. Like, for just coming off of last week, we had the, or last episode, we had the spicy chicken sandwich, which was just in the mayo. And sure, no doubt, the spice was just in the sauce of this,

but like, I don't know, I feel like that's more expected in a wing than like a chicken breast. It was way spicier, way hotter. Like I definitely tasted the heat and the flavor more. On these tiny little nuggets, I ate the first one. We've been talking about this thing for a bit, whether we were going to go or not,

and then decided 25 cent wings, and I was just like, this is going to be so bad. I kept saying, it's 25 cents. It has to be good. I was blown away at how good they were. I was eating and going, this is good.

Was it good for 25 cents or was it just good? No, it was just good. I would eat this for not a quarter. I don't know what i'd pay for it you know i don't i don't assemble uh you know 13 menus and prices but i was like i'm eating three dollars worth of chicken on this plate like this is definitely better than shit i've had that i've paid more for and then with the dollar drink I'll agree, the first one was super light, but in the opposite of Jordan's critique of it,

I feel like that's what you should expect for a dollar. You're getting what you paid for for a dollar. You're getting a light, watered down drink. That's fine. If it wasn't better when I ordered it again. See, I just feel like, again, you order drinks,

you can, if you've ever go to a bar, like the bartender's like, again, you order drinks, you can, if you've ever go to a bar, like the bartender's like, hey, you know what, this one's on me, this one's free. I'm not gonna look a bonus as a negative. I feel like we got what we ordered on the first drink, and it only got better. That's a plus to me. Like, it

got better than it should have been. I'm not going, I'm mad because it was better. How dare they give me a better drink? I feel like we could have got those watered down drinks the whole time. We talked before we went and we're like, this is going to be so watered down. But oh, well, they're only a dollar. And we got that drink.

And then they were like, look at this guy. He's upset that the drinks got better. It's blowing my mind. They were just like. It blew my mind too. Man, I hate to live with yourself. I'm glad we're on the same page. So I was just like, I can't believe this.

This is good chicken. This is a strong, good drink. And I, again, do my best to not like articulate this while we're eating it. I was looking at Eric like, I can't fucking believe. We had looks across the table of like, this is a good meal. You're so clouded though by. This is a good meal. You're so clouded, though, by it. This is a good meal. They've tricked you. Applebee's, they tricked

me. TJ Palmer's got you right in the palm of your hand. They charged me nothing. They are. They charged me nothing. Well, the grift is when they gave me more liquor, I guess, is the grift. An extra wing. They gave me extra wings, free sauce, and more liquor. And you're just happy to like

and I'm just happy to take it in yeah so what's your score great service good food good drink uh 98 98 I will tell you go

eat these fucking wings dude like anything before this had been like eh if you're, I would go to Applebee's to eat these wings. That's a 74. That's a 74. 25 cent wing. That score is three times the price of a wing. It's a great deal. 25 cents for good food?

It's crazy. It's a great deal. You get it 12 ways for three bucks. But they're great deal. I couldn't believe it. But they're only okay? They're better than okay. This is crazy what he's saying. They're good. Eric doesn't have a score. He kept going, I love this. I love it.

Look at his mustache though. Michael, your score is almost double Jordan's score. Yeah. Because he was upset about the Michael your score is almost double Jordan's score yeah yeah because he was upset about the extra stuff we got amazing I wasn't upset

I love it I'm just troubled he was troubled is Applebee's better than Chili's are they the same they're the same there you go. Okay, now he says it.

Also, hey, rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. And sometimes we get upset about the values because the value was better than what was promised. I was lied to, but it's better.

But I was still lied to. Grifters. How dare you? That's what they are. How dare you? And then also, I feel like I should mention again, just as a human being, that the witcher's wasn't Jordan. I had to leave her extra money.

Oh, yeah. Because I was like, we can't give this woman $6. This is a travesty. We were there for over an hour. So I put them... Eric went, oh! we can't give this woman six dollars like this is this is a travesty we were there for like over an hour so i put eric went oh like i was throwing a hundred dollar tip and i went come on man it's six dollars i could please please bring extra money for a tip if you go if you order four dollars worth of lunch don't leave a dollar don't leave one dollar as a tip please at least in america internationally you might not understand this somehow it's here it's fine to pay people way under a living wage and they need the tips

the reason they give us the 25 cent wings is because they pay the workers nothing yeah she was she was knocking she was getting 10 cents a wing every wing we ate 10 cents think wing. Every wing we ate, she got 10 cents. Think of it that way. Oh, boy. I'm blown away. I'll be honest. It was maybe the best thing I've eaten on this show yet, and they were 25 cents a piece. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, so go check it out.

See if your experience is similar, because I'm curious to see if the food is better as you go along. He's curious if you agree with him. If you don't, he doesn't want to hear it. Tell a friend. Rate five stars. Yeah, but I don't really care if you rate with him. If you don't, he doesn't want to hear it. Tell a friend. Rate five stars. Yeah, but I don't really care if you rate it or what you rate it, but download it. Download it every time you listen to it. Delete it off your phone.

Just subscribe and then it does it for you. Yeah, don't even listen to it. Just subscribe. That's funny. You don't have to listen to it. If you subscribe, that's great. Nick's shaking his head. He doesn't know how it works, though. So don't worry about him. Okay. Next time we should take him to lunch. Because that was something we kind of walked back on where, like, he wasn't really saying it. But he was like, yeah, the people I work with were like, man, they didn't take you.

People were talking. People were talking. He's like, I wasn't talking. They were talking at me. Have you been hearing that? I've been hearing that. Everybody's saying it. Everybody's saying you didn't take Nick with you.

Nick works hard. Just because he doesn't make the fact sheet or talk to the microphone. I mean, I'll be saying, that's on Eric. He should have brought him. Yeah, he's your guy. He's your guy. Bring your guy, man. Come on.

Should have brought Mike Purtle. See you next time. Face Jam, the Fortnite podcast. Every two weeks on Tuesday at 3 a.m. Why is it so early? So you get up and listen to the show. Fortnite!