100% Eat - Arby's Bourbon BBQ Sliders

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Arby's Bourbon BBQ Sliders so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Nick in Goodfellas, not wanting to talk about the Arby's bathroom, a special Michael sent snack, and more. Come crack a cold one with da boys at RTX July 7-9. www.RTXAustin.com for details. Sponsored by HelloFresh: http://hellofresh.com/facejam16 and use code facejam16 DoorDash: Download the DoorDash app and use code JAMMERS Shady Rays: http://shadyrays.com and use code FACEJAM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Face Jam. Welcome, motherfuckers. We're the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your gosh dang host, Michael Jones. I saved it. I pulled the bag. Now we can advertise again. Alongside my co-host, Jordan Swellsweers.

Wow. Jordan, how are you? New nickname. That's pretty fun. Are we really worried about monetization? We don't do it for the money. We do it for the food. We do it for the bugs.

I mean, some of us definitely. Nick over there definitely doing it for the money. I mean, he's doing it for the food also, but he's doing it for the money so he can get more of this exact same food that I already ate. He gets the food free sampler, then goes and buys it. And then he tells his wife, guess what I just found? He was just waving around a sauce packet by the way. Oh, the sauce packet. He

asked for specifically, even though there was sauce in her bag. That's fine. Don't act surprised. We're a minute in and now chaos. Today we are reviewing the Arby's Bourbon BBQ Sliders. We went back. We went back to Arby's. It's sliders. Yep. We went back.

We went back to Arby's. It's been a while. Yeah, it's been. We'll learn more about that in the fact section. It's been a little while for Arby's. We forgot where the Arby's was, remembered where the Arby's was, and then made it to the Arby's. I feel like we forgot where the door was. No, no. I feel like we walked around the same building and said, no, there was a sign.

I feel like we got there pretty easily. There was a sign on the door. I'm going to have to drive back and take a picture of the side. There was a sign on the door. I'm going to drive back and take a picture of the side. There was a sign on the door that said, please use the other door. So we went around to use the other door. It immediately was a mess because you went around not only the long way, but the way of the drive-thru. Right, that's where cars go.

And then you squeezed behind the drive-thru sign. That's where cars go. And I went, why'd you do that? We walked past the menu. Yeah, we walked in front of it. I thought you maybe wanted to look at the... I already knew what we were getting, so I didn't even look at the menu. I felt like we were going to get run over because we were, you know, in the

drive-thru and then Eric's like, you guys are so dumb, you're standing in the road. Let me squeeze behind the menu sign. Me, the smart one. And then we just kept walking and turning and walking and turning. We went up to the window. We were like, should we just knock on the window here? We must have parked, gotten out and gone to the right and then walked 90% to the window. We were like, should we just knock on the window here?

We must have parked, gotten out, and gone to the right, and then walked 90% around the building to get to the door that was on the left. At the end, Michael went, how many sides does this building have? Pretty much. It wasn't a square shape either. It had inlets. The door that we were parked by said, please use other door. So we went to the other door.

We just had to find it first. Fortunately. After we turned the third corner, I looked at Jordan and I was like, this is where you turn a corner and you get executed. We thought we were getting made. All of a sudden you realize you're Joe Pesci and you think you're about to be made and you go well this is weird why do we keep walking around and then you hear a click

and you're just like no and then he blows his brains out and he falls down and then it hard cuts the monkey and Jordan sitting in a diner the monkey makes a phone call and just starts breaking the fucking phone that's the best De Niro taking that whole fucking

payphone, beating the shit out of it. I want to recreate that with the monkey. If we pitch this to Wes, he will shoot it. He'll be like, oh yeah, absolutely. We did just clip this to him. This could be an entire series of recreating iconic movie scenes with the monkey. And then you can

guess each time who picked the movie. Well, I want to just keep doing Goodfellas scenes where the monkey picks me up and I'm like, oh, this guy who lives across the street from me, oh my gosh he got really fresh with me and then I go inside and then the monkey takes a gun and just beats the shit out of this guy in his fucking

driveway with a gun and then he hands it to me and he says, ook ook, and that means hide this. You just reply, you got it. Yeah, you got it. This is good. We should just recreate all of Goodfellas. I will only be in charge of scenes from The Soprano where people are running through the woods.

Fuck, yeah. We have a lot to work with. Sauce Monkey in his bathrobe. Oh, yeah. Running through the woods. It needs to be, it's me and Jordan as Pauly and Chrissy. We're on the patio. We're chasing the monkey down.

Ah, shit. And then we're calling you and we're going, who is this guy? And you're like, he's a Chechian rebel. He's killed 30 men and it's all breaking up. I don't know, he's Czech or something? It's just the monkey fucking running through the forest. I got him. You fucking got him? you didn't fucking get him

oh my god Sopranos scenes where this happens is so fucking good the monkey could be Pio Mai the horse and he gets Pio Mai and he gets burned alive in the fucking barn for the insurance money the monkey sits on a compliments grackle in the fucking barn for the insurance money.

The monkey sits on a compliments grackle and suffocates it. He does too much sauce and sits on the grackle. He loads up on sauce and then there's another scene with Eric going, whoa, hold on. You killed a grackle?

Once they go to Italy and Chrissy just keeps going, nothing's stopping me from seeing that volcano. He does heroin the whole time. She'd make the same thing doing sauce in Italy. Do you think we do the Tony, the Ralphie fight? Oh, yeah. When he pulls his toupee off. It's the head. He pulls the toupee off and then Chrissy goes to help him out and he goes, he's bald?

You didn't know. He's's bald? You didn't know? He's a man? You didn't know? He puts the toupee and you pull off the mask and it's just Nick dead. He's a human? I think that was maybe one of the first times in my life I watched that fight scene

and I just kept going, what a fucking mess. I know, right just kept going, What a fucking mess! Stop! It's a fucking mess! To open in every fucking drawer in the kitchen! It's everything! Every single shot! Every goddamn thing in the house is being used!

Oh my god. And thrown into such a mess! It's so good! That's so awesome! So we got Arby's. Like most things, Arby's makes a scene in The Sopranos. I want to do the scene where I'm cleaning up at the construction site at night, and then I look over and you see the monkey.

There's just a guy sitting in the driver's seat, and then the monkey's head hangs out from the driver's seat. And then later that day, the monkey comes up to him and he's just like hey how you doing and like being real friendly with them oh my arch nemesis look who it is oh fuck i feel like i feel like i i have no idea you know the accuracy or not but i feel like that show brought like uh a perceived accuracy of people getting shot a lot. There's the executions, but then there's Christopher being like, I'll get you. Oh, shit.

Hang on. And two people kind of going, oh, fuck. Just shooting wildly and hitting someone in the foot. They're not trained to use these weapons. They're stuck in their seatbelt. The car's rolling away. And they're just going, oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

And then there's windbreakers everywhere. Oh, it's perfect. It's a lot of just flailing around. They don't really know what they're doing, but somebody told them to do it, so they're gonna go try. And that's basically what happened with these sliders. Yeah, that's what it's like eating Arby's. Someone told them to do it, and they said,

I don't know why we're doing it, but we have to do it. I don't know what they're trying, it's what you're saying. I don't know what they're accomplishing with less food yeah well think of it this way they have the meats that's their thing a little bit but they're but they're trying a little bit well they got to come up with new ideas to get you the meats and somebody it was like well we've done everything like sliders next we've done

regular sandwiches well i'm at ideas. Bigger. Meat Mountain? Hey, are we going to do that? Maybe this is just the tip of the Meat Mountain and like pretty soon there's going to be like... I mean, based on the size, it's definitely the tip of Meat Mountain. Yes. It's only going to get bigger from here. They have three different sliders. We'll get into what they were later or whatever, but like...

Because they're dead now. The deal that you get for them is two for $4. Oh, no. Okay, but there's three. But there's three. What? So if you want all three, then you have to get one, two, and then the second thing is the third one,

and then whichever one you think you might like the most. That is so stupid. Yep. That is so stupid. Why would it not be? Just do three for six. Or do two. And it's all of them.

Or do two and three. Yep. Yep. Just make, like, yeah, maybe someone only wants two. How did it work out for the four of us? So, like, three each? I did two. No, no, I did two.

I did two each. I did two of the two for fours. Okay. Two of the two for fours for each one of them. So that way it was four sandwiches, and I just... If you think it sounds confusing, Eric's pointing while he's talking. It doesn't help

at all. Don't worry! It's just him pointing his fingers and circling the hair. When I ordered online, all I kept thinking is we're about to get 12 roast beef sandwiches. I need a visual demonstration. Use these ketchup packets and circle the ones. I ate the food, so

I assume you figured it out. This is sandwiches. Got it. This is how many you ate. Yeah. It's three. But it's two. No, two is how many. This? Yeah. Watch this. This is what it was. Now it's four. Now it's too many. Two is four.

You'll have to see this Bronco sauce. We'll have to substitute. This is what it was. Now it's four. Now that's too many. It's four. You'll have to see this Bronco sauce. We'll have to substitute. I don't know that you're going to have any sauces. All right, so now you got six. This is three different two for fours. This one's the chicken. This one's the roast beef. You do that twice, you got enough for everyone.

And that's, look at that. Wow. Visual learner. Yep. In an audio format. The thing is, I know I'm superior because I didn't even need to be learnt it. You figured it out. I ate them. Why are we talking about it?

You know what I mean? And that's true intellect. That is. There's knowledge and there's wisdom. That's kind of like how Donald Trump is smart. You're goddamn right. I'll be president next, motherfucker. Guess who's 35 years old? CNN putting him on God damn right I'll be president next Motherfucker

Guess who's 35 years old CNN putting him on and then going It's actually good that we put him on Guys we can't be in an echo chamber He could have good ideas We should just give this guy a chance It's like oh my god Everyone's going I don't think this is a good idea And CNN going actually it's a good idea Actually and it's like, oh my god. Everyone's going, I don't think this is a good idea, and CNN going,

actually, it's a good idea, actually. And you're dumb. Anderson, Anderson, tell them. Actually, I don't blame you guys for being mad at all. You never have to watch this again. Okay? Okay. Wouldn't blame ya. Yeah, tell them, Anderson.

Wait. Huh? Anderson. Oh boy. Village people are mad because they keep doing shows at Mar-a-Lago and everyone thinks they're racist. The village people's mad that people are mad at them? Yes. Gotcha. Yep. Maybe don't do shows at Mar-a-Lago.

That's what I'm saying. That seems like an easy solution. But here's the thing. Are they getting any other offers? There's no visual component? Here's the thing. Are they getting any other offers? Because there's, hey, we're turning this down for Mar-Lago.

How about Lago Amar? And then there's, come on, guys. Yeah. Fellas, I'm not happy about it. Like, if they just made some kind of subtle, like. It's like, yeah. It's like, yeah, we get it. But hey.

Then I think it would make a difference. It takes a village people. But I got my take. To make this work. Cool, you got Nick. Is that the next, like, Jan 6th? Like, you got the village people show? Yeah, I spotted them there.

You see the crowd? For the village people there. Which one? Was it the police officer or the fireman? Well, the police officer was, like, for it. He was for it. He was for it. That's why you're wondering if you check all the tapes that Kevin McCarthy gave to Tucker inside his house.

There's that one guy on the pole the whole time, the construction worker looking down. And you're going, man, that guy should get out of there. Nope. Nope. Does Tucker still have those tapes now that he left Fox News? Oh, probably. Yeah, he'll... Well, they're declassified now. Yeah, he'll put them on Twitter where he's doing his new show. That's like, Face Jam's coming to MySpace.

Whoa! That's cool. That's a great idea, actually. Are we doing that? Because that makes sense. That's where Face Jam would end up. All right, I'll take my $100 million payout. Slap my hand.

Oh my goodness. Oh, I didn't get to do a last show and I get how much money? Oh no, me oh my. Pie or my? Oh, that's Nick the horse. It all comes back around. Did you get a tan?

You look a little bit tanned. You were just in Cali, right? I did get some sun, but also What happened is that I had to wear Babadour makeup today You got some bronzer? I had to You put all the white on and everything

I do white face, and then I have to Wipe it all off with Makeup remover stuff I don't know that it's a tinted makeup remover, but it's what I had to use. It really looks bad in this room. Thank you. I was looking at his arm.

You looked normal out there. It looks more normal than everything you described. When we played baseball every weekend, I had a tan, and now we haven't played baseball in six months, and I'm back to the same colors of the shirt. I've been tanning. I've been tanning. So do you have a question though?

If I got a tan? No. What? Who the fuck's your best friend? Jordan? Not even on the list. Not on the list. What is this? There was a question on the subreddit that's like, hey, we need to decide. We think that Eric said that he doesn't have a best friend one time.

And I'm like, I don't think I've ever said that. And they're like, we need to decide who it is. And there's a poll. And it's like, Michael, Jeff, Gavin, Nick. Oh, Gavin. And it was like, and I just went, what? And somebody went, what about Jordan? And I just replied to them and I said, I went, what? And somebody went, what about Jordan? And I just replied to them and I said, I mean, really?

I don't know. I don't think. I saw you reply. Come to think of it, I don't know if we've ever hung out. Like, what the fuck? I was in your wedding. I think I laughed so hard because I was laughing when I read that and then I scrolled down and I saw Jordan and then you made me laugh

so hard. Honestly, for me, that's a big win. I mean, really. Not even considered. Just to be off the radar so much but still be able to do this podcast is such a perfect balance for me.

Who's your best friend? Gavin. What? Nick. Gavin. What? Yeah. Nick. What? If you can, if you can perceive Gavin and Nick before me, I'm good.

I'm good, man. I'm a stretch. I'm a huge stretch. Like what the fuck happened? I think, I think, I think I'm default on that list.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I think of those four, Jeff, I guess, but barely fucking crazy. Also.

I love that. That rules. It ruled. Also, my best friend is Brian. Yeah. I have a friend named Brian. Didn't make the list, buddy. I guess, yeah.

They don't know who the fuck he is. Oh, yeah, Brian. B-R-A-N. Yeah, no. Start a podcast with him and then maybe he'll count. Although, he wasn't enough for Jordan. But was for Nick. Yeah, Nick's awesome.

Well, he's a double dipper. That's why. Yeah. He floats around. Yeah, he's on two different shows. Fucked up. It's true, yeah. Stupid.

Casting his net. Yeah. Weasley's way on. He wore the monkey mask. Do you know he wore the monkey mask for F*** Face? What the f***? That's not allowed. What does that even mean? You did something for another podcast?

Yeah, explain yourself. What did you wear the mask for? You want me to hide the gun? What are we hearing about now? On F*** Face, they said because we all record remotely, and they said, Nick, you should wear a mask for one of these. I think Gavin said it. and they said, Nick, you wear a mask for one of these. I think Gavin said it, so he said, why do you wear a mask for one of these?

Wow, how weird that he comes up with the same idea that we came up with three years ago. And then it was, yeah, it's weird that like, he went, oh, yeah, we should do something with the monkey. And I'm like, for what are you talking about? Well, he figured he could ask you because you're his best friend. No, that's right. Yeah, as his best friend. Well, I don't know what the result was.

That's true. Nick said he won. Dude, by the way, by the way, I'm fucking, the other thing was I went, oh, how long is this? It was like five days. It was like a five-minute walk. I'm going to give everyone about a week to think about this. It was days for sure. For sure.

It was several days. I love to imagine thinking of like, how long should this poll be? Is a day too short? I want to make sure we get a lot of responses here. I'll make it five days. I think I was going to vote for myself, but I wasn't logged in. I got two-step. I'll take forever.

Oh, man. I was making burner accounts, just writing my name in. Writing candidate. There was a writing campaign at the bottom. Oh, man. I was making burner accounts just like writing my name in. Yeah. Right in Canada. There was a write-in campaign at the bottom. Oh, my God. But Gavin said you should wear the mask for one of them. We'll try to guess, but then he wore... We'll try to guess what? Because he's on mic sometimes. You can hear him like laughing. But you can't see him?

Here's the other thing they took. They said, I mean, we were a hundred episodes in, and they went, we should be able to hear Nick laughing. Unbelievable. They're like a slow bro version of us. A lot of good ideas. Oh!

Giving credit where it's due. Save it for the other show. You should You should laugh But when you When they start like Recording it Wanting to put it in

Change it Yeah you should Make it weird Yeah make it like A Seth Rogen laugh Oh yeah No no You gotta do that

Cause I wasn't gonna do A Seth Rogen laugh That was pretty good Holy shit That's why I didn't Want to step on his toes Wow I didn't think

He was gonna be that good I was gonna say Make it bad And you'd be like And they're just like, fucking stop laughing. Oh my God. I like that part. And then it's going to stop.

Take away his microphone. Very good. You guys have any opinions on Arby's in general? Usually bad. Well, I got Arby's opinions. Yeah. That's what it says. My opinion is more, I can't believe I ate there last year.

Yeah, that blows me away. It's right at the top. A year and a half is about as long as I can go until I can eat again. And I didn't look any further. I have no idea what it was. It couldn't have been the fish. No. So this has got to be the third time we've been there.

That's what I'm saying. I knew the fish because it was fucking disgusting. It was also forever ago. And then I was like, ah, when's the last time we've been there. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I knew the fish because it was fucking disgusting. It was also forever ago. And then I was like, ah, when's the last time? And it said January 2022. And I went, I don't know. Are we sure about that? It's something I forgot.

Fucking weird, right? I bet it wasn't good because I wasn't going, yay, Arby's today. Arby's is a thing that I might see the most commercials for, and they impact me the least. Yes. The commercials, I'll give them credit. Their campaign that they got going on ain't bad, but in no way will make me go to Arby's. No, no, no, no.

A lot of ways, Jon Stewart always ragging on them on the Daily Show is the only thing I like about Arby's. It's the best advertisement they ever had. And then everything else is a guy saying they like the meats or they got the meats or whatever. Yeah. But that's not a bad campaign.

No, it's fine. But unfortunately, it's wasted on Arby's. I think the problem is none of their food looks good. It doesn't look good. Roast beef sandwiches are so unappealing. Fast food is harder to make look good than regular food, right? Like a fast food burger as opposed to like a grilled burger it just looks better uh and like regular roast beef looks like shit yeah looks like dog food how do you make it look good and so it's like here's the fast food version it's drier and paler

than ever when when i was doing the facts one of the things that someone had right it was writing about was like uh yeah i mean contrary to popular, Arby's doesn't have a grill in their restaurant. And I just went, what the fuck would they grill? They make briskets and roast beef and chicken. They have a spit? Yeah. Like, what are you talking? Grill?

Or an oven. Yeah, it's an oven. All they would have is ovens. Because if they had that, I might go to Arby's. Yes, but they don't. They don't do like burgers or anything. And that is a testament to the restaurant because I immediately think of like Red Lobster. I don't eat seafood.

I went to Red Lobster my whole life growing up because they have steak and shit. Yep. They have other shit and it's fine. It's not like amazing, but my point is it's not like, oh, I don't eat that. Can't go there. Yeah. You don't have to pigeonhole your customers. I'm not a huge roast beef fan.

I would still gladly go there and eat something good. Yeah. If such a thing existed. Right, right. Hypothetically. customers. I'm not a huge roast beef fan. I would still gladly go there and eat something good. If such a thing existed. I'll just eat 100 jalapeno poppers with bronco sauce. I'm sorry, I already have Sonic. If I'm going to go just suck on some poppers and sticks, I'm going to go to Sonic, not Arby's.

How are you digging that bronco sauce, though? It was pretty good, actually. I don't understand it's called bronco sauce and berry sauce? Nick screamed at us. It's called bronco sauce though it was pretty good actually yeah i gotta hand it to nick understand it's called bronco sauce and berry sauce nick screamed at us it's called bronco and then it just says underneath so you know what it is berry sauce i don't understand what it's supposed to taste like but it was good it's like a sweet and sour when kind of when jordan grabbed it he was gonna put it on a sandwich and he said what's bronco sauce and nick went, before. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think I got the word bra out of my mouth. I was just like on top of me puttering around, which is something I want to do more in my old age.

That's going to be around. Oh, a putter. Loved to putter. Loved not even to putter. I love, I want people telling other people I'm puttering around out back. Put a lot of like change in your pocket and just always,

I don't want to be jingling. I'll just always be playing with it. Now, here's the thing. When you... Okay. It's like a fidget spinner. I don't have to physically... I mean, gardening is puttering around.

Have you thought about puttering with your hands behind your back? Oh, for sure. That, to me, is a classic old guy thing. For sure. Have you thought about puttering around the neighborhood and getting your nose in other people's business? Big time. That's mostly what I'm going to do.

Yeah, that's pretty good. I'm immediately going to invest in like a mobile scooter, but like when I'm 50. Yeah. Because I want to get used to it so that way when I truly like need it, need it,

I'm like, I've been driving this thing for 15 years. Yeah, right. Notoriously hard to get a grip on. Exactly. Well, here's the thing. I don't want to, I'm like, I've been driving this thing for 15 years. Yeah, right. Notoriously hard to get a grip on those things. Exactly. Well, here's the thing. I don't want to, I'm not saying it's going to be difficult to use,

but I want to master it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And people are going, oh, I just get mad. I go, I'm like fucking flying down the street in two wheels. Anyway, I'm puttering. And you ask about the berry sauce. And it was, oh, what is this sauce?

The real jalapeno poppers. It was insane. It blew me away. And I'm like, the words were out of his mouth. It did. All of a sudden, he was moving. Yeah. And it was like, oh, shit.

And then I went, wow. And then I was instructed to try it, and it was pretty good with the popper. The poppers themselves are pretty good. They're pretty good. They're definitely elevated with the Bronco sauce, which-hmm. Which is like how things should work. He likes it. Yeah, Nick's all about it. Do you have extra berry sauce or just?

Oh, he's got an extra berry sauce. There's one more extra berry sauce over here. Do you want me to open it? No. He might be saving it. He wasn't? The best thing is I'm looking directly at Nick. He's on the other side of the room

But I'm sitting right in front of him And he just looks right at me and goes no And he wasn't kidding at all It was just like don't open that man Come on man I'll save it for you Oh my god Put it over there

We're almost 24 minutes in We haven't done the haiku I've been thinking about more Sopranos I agree but we're a little put it over there. Oh my God. All right. We're almost 24 minutes in. This is great. Yeah, I know, but it's all been good because I've been thinking about more Sopranos scenes. I agree, but we're a little off schedule. I'm glad to be off schedule

because we're going to get through this and then we're going to be at the, we're going to be at the press material and it's going to be 32 minutes. Yeah. Absolutely. So think about more Sopranos scenes you want to see Nick in.

This is good. Okay. All right, go ahead. Haikyuu me. Country. Chicken. Roast. The Triforce of Sliders. Merge. Face Jam Kingdom. Saved.

Wow! Tears of a Face Jam. Yeah, it's popular right now. I haven't played it yet. Me neither. I gotta play Jedi Game first. I also have to play it when popular right now. Wow. I haven't played it yet. Me neither. I got to play Jedi game first. I also have to play it when they fix it. Oh, it runs like dog. You can't play it on the computer.

I got it on the fifth PlayStation. I borrowed it from my friend Jared. I could. Wait a minute. Can I borrow it after you? Sure, I don't care. Not your best friend. No, not my best friend Jared, no.

No, Nick. Did he go back and check the poll five days later? Did he win? Did he win? Nick knows he won. Did he go back and check the poll five days later and did he win? Nick knows he won. He was going back checking it. He was the one making burners and counting. That is awesome. I mean, yeah, just keep an eye on it. Remind me in five

days. But, but, very close second with Gavin. Yeah. Neck and neck. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. god anyway the Zelda game is good we don't have to get into it but it's great

that's fine everyone's saying it's good I watched Brian play it I just want to tell you they're right I watched Brian play it for like 15 minutes and I went

fuck I have to play this game shit yeah I bought it yeah just haven't I'll tell you one thing I haven't stopped playing it

I close my eyes and I'm like I see the list of things I can go do one thing. I haven't stopped playing it. I close my eyes and I'm like, I see the list of things I can go do. I'm in the underground. He's playing with his feet. It's pretty short, right? Yeah, it's a quick game. Yeah, I'm about,

I'm honestly probably 50 hours in. I'm, as far as like 100%ing it, I'm not even near 50%. Did you get a sword yet? Oh my god. I have a couple swords. I played Wind Waker once. Yeah. And I was like 12 parts in before I got a sword. It really my god. I have a couple swords. I played Wind Waker once. Yeah.

And I was like 12 parts in before I got a sword. It really pissed me off. That's what I'm talking about. Hey, let's get to the fact. Oh yeah, let's learn about it. Did you do it wrong? Yeah. Yes.

And? Some other guy set it up. He said it'd be funnier this way. We'll get a sword at random, he said. I gotcha. Yep. I gotcha. Previous Arby's.

Just suddenly 12 parts mixed. It was realistically like eight or nine. Should have seen. When I got bombs, oh, that flip side did. I feel like Wind Waker. I bet you're not a, oh, now I don't have to pick up a pot and chase you. Wind Waker is the worst game to play randomized. Yeah. Yeah, you need

stuff a certain way because you're trapped. You're gated by everything. Yes, trapped. That sounds like torture. I'm going to go watch that. Yeah. Our previous Arby's episode was released January 18th, 2022, where we ate the Arby's Diablo Dare sandwiches. It received an average score of 72.5, which is crazy high.

I'm always surprised by our scores. You gave it like a 68, and you gave it like a 75. It was like, wow. It must have been pretty inoffensive. No, I think what happened was they were spicy. And that was the thing... I have absolutely no memory of this. I think it was a thing where it was like,

oh man, I can't believe this was actually hot. Huh. And we gave it like a lot of points for that. Because we eat a lot of stuff that claims to be spicy. It's true. And then I also... And I'm willing to believe we probably were like a lot of points of that because we eat a lot of stuff that claims to be spicy It's true And then I'm willing to believe we probably were on a string of it because sometimes we do like yeah spicy things in ten episodes Yeah, and then I think that's also the episode where Nick afterward went back to Arby's like that night for dinner. Oh, yeah Looks like a serial killer.

I don't know why the writing is so erratic. I'm going to post that picture right now. He also had the time to write it. No one rushed him. My son tried Arby's. My son tried Arby's. I'm going to use that as a new reaction image. I convinced my wife.

Yeah, that's awesome. He had all the time in the world. He could have held that up two minutes from now. And instead, like a maniac. Dude, he was already writing it. It was like he woke up. He fell asleep on the island he's been stranded at for a year. And he heard a plane flying over.

And he was ready. And he fucking scrambled. He fucking scrambled. He had the SOS rocks all lined up. The one night I fell asleep! God damn. Eric is posting this right now. I just posted it. If you watched that go live, it was now. You caught us recording.

I convinced my wife. I convinced my wife. I convinced my wife. That rules. The best part is, like, he did add to it, but that's the end of that sentence. Yeah, I'm not kidding. You didn't take a picture of him mid-sentence. He was done. That literally was all he was trying to write.

He was showing it to the class. Oh, my God. Okay. This is a good fact here. It says, I don't want to talk about that guy who got his dick melted off at the Arby's in Colorado anymore. I don't want to. Don't want to. Then we don't have to.

Why'd you even bring it up? No one would have brought it up. Oh, I don't believe that. I would have never remembered that was Arby's in a million years. I already forgot what we ate today. I wouldn't have mentioned it. We were in the car and you said, what are we eating? Well, that to be fair, I meant the sandwich.

Yeah, I said, what are we eating and you went arby's and i said i got that part i remember you're holding an arby's bag yeah it was while i was on the floor and i was looking at it and reading it we were leaving a restaurant one time we were uh in the parking lot and i couldn't remember where we were going and i was with derrick i went where are we going and he went car he's so fucking mad that rules He went car. He's so fucking mad. That rules.

Car. Car. Originally intended to be an upscale restaurant, Arby's expanded. It became fast food slop for the masses to eat by the dozen. Arby's also has the most locations in Ohio. Are these facts connected? And is this derogatory toward the Buckeye State? Yes.

Get real, Ohio. Get rid of Arby's. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I added that last one. I punched it up. Maybe that's what Ohio needs to do in order to get themselves off the end of all these jokes. Maybe you should start telling Arby's Obio. Whoa! That one's free, Ohio.

I bet you never heard that one before. Oh, do you think they have signs that say Obio as you're exiting the state? I am Beach, Obion. You're driving into Kentucky. Obibin. signs that say Obio as you're exiting the state? I am Beach Obion. Obiben. That's exactly how I wanted it to come out too. I was thinking. You gotta

say it like not only is it a struggle for you to be speaking. To be speaking. It's a struggle to know what you're saying and what the words are. Whoa, this is hot off the presses. Here we go. About six days ago,

the body of an Arby's manager was found in the walk-in freezer of a new Liberia, Louisiana Arby's location. While officials have not yet found the cause of death, we're told, quote, that's how we got our meats down here in Dubai-U. I guarantee, quote, that's fucked up. That is fucked up.

Oh my God, it is fucked up. So like, was he trapped or murdered? No idea. They're still investigating. Don't say we don't know. It sounds like you're involved. Well, Nick kept giving me all the facts, but none of them were online. Murdered. No idea. They're still investigating. Don't say we don't know. It sounds like you're involved. Nick kept giving me all the facts, but none of them were online.

He was just giving me like, yeah. And then these fingerprints were found. I bet I'll watch a daylight about this. Hide the gun? Yes. So it was a manager. She's found in a walk-in freezer of the Arby's. They don't know what happened. They don't know the cause of death.

Nothing released. This happened on the 12th. The most updated story I got was like from the 15th, and it was just them going, don't know, no idea. She was there for like a while. How did no one notice? I don't know.

Because Arby's is poorly managed. What are you talking about? What? Nobody knows the manager was gone for how long. Well, that's why it was poorly managed. Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, there's no manager. It was was everyone walking around, bumping into shit, being like, I wish somebody would tell me what to do.

I'm trying to make light of this terrible situation Eric's put in our laps. Terrible. I'm just glad he didn't make a they-do-got-the-meats joke. I think the internet got us all. And now there's one more fact left. Well, now, here's what I will say. You're saying I dropped this in your lap

Jordan this morning is the one who told me this fact and he's like do you know about this and I said no he's like oh maybe there's time to get in the fact sheet and I went well I haven't written them yet so yes that was me coming here with Eric how dare you try and put that on him

what that's terrible that's how we get the meats in the bayou. Okay, let's go on to the next fact. That's how they do it. Good Lord. In April of this year, an Arby's manager was arrested for throwing hot grease on a drive-thru customer after an argument while ordering.

The victim is said to be in stable condition now, but no word on if their dick got melted off Arby's bathroom style. Oh, no. No! God, your style. This sucks. Dang it. We all tried so hard. We all tried so hard to not talk

about it. No. Tell you one thing, between this fact and the other one, it's a real song of ice and fire situation in here. I think he's going to finish that. No. Legally, that's as long as I can go. I know we own

the property, but we can't keep doing it. That's true, yeah. No, we own it, right? You own that, right? You were showing me the other day the receipt. You were like, check this out. And you were like... George R. Yeah. You were like, check this out. And you were like. George R.R. Romero or whatever. He wrote it and I bought it.

An Elden Ring. Yeah. You're scooping up. This is what you do. You scoop up all these little artists' work before they get popular. I'm just trying to help out the little guy. Yeah. Hey, remember Game of Thrones?

Bring it back. They did one time. Oh yeah, they did do that season. I watched some of it and I just went oh, this isn't too bad. And then I watched the first episode of Game of Thrones again and I went, never mind. It's fucking absurd how much better the first episode of Game of Thrones

is compared to the entire new spinoff yeah you just go oh this looks like it was shot during the pandemic and it was it's two people in a room at a distance shot in singles it's not really pandemic it was probably like the bubonic plague oh it makes sense you think they have to go back in time to also it's going back in time is it going back in time are Is it going back in time? Are there time travel? Not only is it long ago, it's in another world entirely. That's Star Wars. This guy. No, that's a galaxy far, far away.

We don't own Star Wars. That's Disney. Yeah, that's true. That is Disney. We do DC. DC is our Star Wars. Don't. That's careful with that Bronco sauce.

He's on high alert. He convinced his wife. I don't give bronco sauce to the woke mom i won't be held hostage did you see that tweet that ronco had put out about zelda and at the end i have to read this fucking tweet i don't care who was in the fucking show this is so good oh my god yeah yeah yeah uh yeah this is a good tweet and, Rocco, he's there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is a good tweet, and it's so... It's so unclever. Yeah. Very interested in that new Legend of Zelda game opens with a princess with full voice acting,

but Zelda himself is not allowed to speak. This is where games are at now. Men aren't allowed to have a voice. We wanted Hyrule. We got Wokistan. He said that he was making the tweet, and his brother said, I don't know how you can do it,

but you gotta say Wokistan and it's in there somewhere. I keep hearing it it it's fucking funny it's so it's so like low hanging fruit and dumb it's so perfect it's perfect like that right there if you don't know anything about like rocco or like if you didn't get everything before that is a joke you read wokistanokistan and go, this guy is not serious. There's no way Wokistan is real. What the fuck? But it could be.

What? All the way to the bank. $100 million deal. Go Wokistan, go Brokistan. There's somebody who's super into Trump listening to this podcast and be like, these guys are too political.

So funny. Oh, shit. All right. Hey, let's learn about the food. I'm going to run for president. I'll be your running mate. I wasn't kidding. I'll be your running mate.

Well, we have to do a poll. Actually, yeah. There can be my running mate. So Nick is going to be your running mate. But Gavin's not on the poll. Can somebody start a poll for us and see who Michael's best friend is? Make sure it's five days long.

Make sure none of his friends are on it. And then whoever wins is your vice president. Yeah, alright, that's good. That's it, right? Can I do it without spending any money? Like, I know you gotta spend. That's it, right? Can I do it without spending any money? Like, I know you gotta spend money in a campaign, but technically I could just sign a form. I mean, you could sign the form

and then you could just go on Twitch and be like, hey, I'm running for president. Just run a virtual campaign. I wanna keep saying grassroots. I guarantee you, if I get any sort of traction, I could get Beto O'Rourke to be on my stream. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. He's chomping at the bit to lose at something new.

He can't wait. It's been a couple of years since he's fucking lost at something embarrassingly, so he's looking to jump onto something fast. He's looking for... We got it this time. Oh, yeah. But for real, this time.

Check it out. Skateboard. I just want to play it one time. You got to change that song. You got to make it cool I'll change the shit out of it Yeah You gotta do it

Like Everywhere we go Here's the thing though With my VB I'm 100% gonna push it I'm not doing nothing Yeah So I gotta get down and go

You do it I'm gonna make that clear It's gonna be in my campaign I go look Here's the thing You wanna send me to fucking China I'll be the guy I'll be like

What That's I'll do that I. I'll be like, what? I'll do that. I'm not going to sit in meetings. I'm not going to sit and do meetings. I'm going to wing it. Cabinet, what's that? Yeah. That's where I keep my food, bro. Think about it. I got it. No, I got it. That's good. It's good. I mean, that's, dude, my cabinet would be sick. Face jam for president.

Dude, face jam would be in the White House. Wow. What do I get to do? What do you want to do? Well, if you win this poll, you're the vice president. Yeah, but I don't want to do all that work. No, we should probably pick somebody capable. Like Biden.

Oh, he could be vice president again. And that's going to be crazy because he's going to outlive you and then he'll become president again. That's the plan. Yes. That's why we're drinking that adrenophane. When I look at that guy, every time he's on TV, I just go, ooh, four more years. Come on.

God damn. Hell yeah. I look at him and I go, can't wait to have to vote for him again. Yeah. Please, please, please put the gun to the back of my head. Let's do it. Let's learn about the food. Bourbon barbecue country style rib slider.

Yeah. That's a lot of like adjectives. Texas pit smoked country style pork rib topped with a bourbon barbecue sauce, a sweet garlic and dill pickle and crispy onions on a warm slider bun. Limited time offer participating U.S. locations while supplies last. Whoa. Next. Bourbon barbecue chicken supplies last. Whoa. Next. Bourbon barbecue chicken slider,

sauced and tossed. Chicken tender in a bourbon barbecue sauce topped with crispy onions and a garlic and dill pickle served on a warm slider bun. Limited time offer at participating U.S. locations while supplies last. That was good. We got in there.

Bourbon barbecue roast beef slider. Get a load of this, guys. Thinly sliced roast beef topped with bourbon barbecue sauce, crispy onions, and a garlic and dill pickle served on a warm slider bun. Limited time offer at participating U.S. locations while supplies last. That's good.

Well, at least it's even, because I was wondering, is one of them, like, we're not going to sell out of this one. Yeah, right. Nope. You think maybe the... I mean, they're never going to sell out of roast beef. The roast beef, exactly. You'd think they'd be like, don't worry, it's going to sell out of this one. Yeah, right? Nope. You think maybe the... I mean, they're never going to sell out of roast beef. The roast beef, exactly.

You'd think they'd be like, don't worry, it's going to last. But they also wouldn't change any of the ingredients based on what's in them. Because they all have to have the pickle. They've got to have the pickle. Apparently. Was it sweet and garlicky? I think they just make it easy because they're so poorly managed. Because all their managers are trapped in this free space.

Well, did they say they died? So somebody orders the roast meat? Oh, they're dead. Well, hang on. Oh, I don't know if they died in there. Hang on. I don't know if they're dead at all. Usually when the word body instead of a person.

Guys, usually. Yeah. Okay. I think you listened to enough Dateline to know. I think I listened to enough Dateline to make sure I have all the evidence. I'm perfectly happy. By listening to Dateline and making up your mind about the case. I'm perfectly happy if people refer to me as a body while I'm still alive and well.

Oh, that's cool. You know, it's like, have you seen Michael? I saw his body in the parking lot. I'm like, oh my God, what was he doing? He was going to car. He was puttering. He was putting around. He was going to car.

I asked where he was going and he said car. Oh, fuck. Now when you say cause of death, who's death? We don't know that it was the person in the freezer. He is doing Dateline stuff. He's good at this. Damn. What they like to do on Dateline, which is very good,

because they're journalists, it'll be like, whether they're talking about a story someone told or whatever, they're like, well, everyone knew what happened. She fell into the freezer and got stuck in there overnight. At least that's what so-and-so said. It's like, oh, you say it. You go, how can you make such a bold claim? Oh, you're quoting someone.

You just full swing it. And you go, so is that guy. Oh, man. This has been editorialized for my enjoyment. I can't hold that against him. I can't hold that against him. On the edge of my seat. Press material. Okay, real quick.

I'm about four words into this. Go ahead and read them all out loud. I feel like, Jordan, I want to stop and go again. Wait, what's that word again? Because I thought it was like, wait, Libya. No, that's not Libya. I don't want to turn the page. Never mind. Arby's Entry.

What's up? I don't know why it's so funny. Arby's Entry into Saudi Arabia is another exciting milestone for the brand's international growth story. It just comes out of nowhere. Said Michael Haley, President and Managing Director of International for Inspire Brands. Yeah, I'm inspired so far. We are very pleased with our

Dunkin' collaboration with Shahia Foods and are excited to expand our portfolio and bring our authority in meat quality and flavor to new guests in a rapidly growing region. What does that have to do with the sliders, though? See, I think the comedy there is we're 43 minutes in,

and I didn't think we were going to Saudi Arabia. Like you said, for a second we were going to Libya. I went, wait, I misread. Oh, and then the next word was Louisiana, and that made sense. And then turn the page and go, gotcha. Saudi Arabia, gotcha. There was no press release for these, so I had to pull another one. Also forget, I mean, don't forget, it's just Dunkin'.

It's not Dunkin' Donuts anymore. I was just confused because they're talking about Saudi Arabia for no reason. They bring up Dunkin' for no reason. Yeah, for no reason. It's not no reason. They're expanding their portfolio and bringing their authority and meat quality. I was waiting for the Dateline style twist. Well, that's what Michael

Haley says. There's more. Adapting restaurants for international taste is always a fun challenge, and we're excited to share what makes Arby's such a unique and celebrated brand in the United States with what are sure to be craveable new

favorites. Go ahead. Said Saud Abdullah Al-Athel, chief executive officer of Shahia Foods Limited Company. The team worked tirelessly to create a dining experience and menu offering that will resonate strongly with Saudi guests while firmly rooted in the original Arby's experience. It is global. This is a global language

called marketing. Nothing was said. We hope people like Arby's here. It's Arby's food. Do you want Arby's food in Saudi Arabia? Well, it's coming. That's it. You can eat it. That's it. And the way this is presented is such a like and it's coming. That's it. You can eat it. That's it. And the way this is presented is such a like, and it's clearly presented as written and

not said. Nobody said these words out loud. And this is the first time it's happening. Right. Jordan. And you can, you can hear as I struggle to read it, how dumb it sounds. It sounds like it is written because it is fucking crazy. Did chat GPT write this?

No, I would. The chat GPT would have done a much better job unless you told it to write like yeah then it probably would i wonder if it could generate still a pretty good press release release yeah but like a fast release or a bad no no like a qsr press release like a standard one the kind we read right um then we could try asking can you make this better yeah help absolutely not i cannot so that's um do you think we can ask it to make uh a fact sheet do we do that yet no i don't want to try it haiku we should do that we should have it make a fact sheet have you seen these will probably be so good these will get posted every now and then

in the face jam subreddit where somebody tries to do a Face Jam episode with ChatGBT, and for whatever reason, they always cut Michael out of the show. Yeah, yeah. Somebody is not in the show. I'm Eric, and I'm Jordan, and we're going to eat this snack. Because the computer knows what it's afraid of. Oh, it's fear-based. I just wish I could go undetected by ChatGBT.

Yeah, that's it. I can't fly under that radar. Nope, sorry. You're not my best friend, but ChatGPT knows who you are. I think also ChatGPT just knows something I don't, where it's like, oh, he's out of the episode because we're hanging out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not going to mention him.

That's smart. Why would the president be doing Face Jam? It's probably why ChatGPT didn't have me in there. That's why Nick's not in it too. He's your vice president. There you go. Yeah. No mention of the monkey in any of those.

So that's Arby's. This is also Arby's. The food that we ate. Yeah. What did you think of? I mean, like. They're all different. Would you have thought bourbon barbecue country style rib slider when you ate that thick one?

Like, did you? No, I thought this looks like a little rib. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think that at any point. That's what I thought. I thought rib, and then I guess I was right. Brisket rib? Brisket.

Brisket is what I got. I feel like that. That one. Way more like brisket. That one was fun because it wasn't roast beef, and it was a fun, different meat. It wasn't fun because it was very dry. Yeah. It was very, very dry.

Very low quality. I liked the chicken one because it was sauced and tossed. It was very wet. Yeah. That one was easy to eat and had some good flavor, actually. I think that one was my favorite. And then the roast beef one was like, does we came,

we came to the roast beef one was like, Oh, save. I was saving this one for last. So I could suffer. Is, does it feel like the consistency of like biting into like the roast beef sandwich has like,

no, when you cut through like corrugated cardboard and it sort of goes like, you got those layers. Yeah. Yeah. It has like the light, like when I bite into like the roast beef, it's just sort of like, like I'm biting all the. You got those layers. Like when I bite into the roast beef it's just sort of like

I'm biting all the way through these layers and I'm going this is very boring. When a cat crunches the edge of a box. Yeah, it's like that. Yeah. It just has that consistency to it. It's true. You do gotta break through those layers of roast beef. And I'm not saying

this is difficult. It just feels like you're biting through layers. It's like plastic food. Because it doesn't taste good. Oh, that's what we did. We put the horsey sauce on that one, and it was like papadilla situation. Yeah, I couldn't remember what the fuck we put it on. Yeah, it was like when we had the papadilla and we dipped it in the sauce,

and it was like, oh, this didn't taste like anything, and now it only tastes like this sauce. And it is sliding down my throat. Nick insisted you have to eat the roast beef bone with the horsey sauce. It makes it okay. And then Michael put it on his sandwich and went, what is this? Yeah. Well, one,

it looks like mayonnaise. He said it saves it. Horsey baby. And then he just wrote horsey baby in much better handwriting. He took his time a little bit with that one. He convinced his wife. I convinced his wife. So on the whole,

it's Arby's. Yeah. Which I always like, you know, good for them. They got their little corner and like, they're trying like things that they're going to Saudi Arabia. Right right yeah cornering that market they're they're i hope in there i mean i hope it's halal like no mention of that uh they're making their meat authority their authority

their authority and meat quality yeah it's like they're what i just what you're an authority you make food i don't i think I think you can't be the authority right? Like you're the one making it Hey I'm the chef and uh this is the best food ever I'm the authority

What? Being the authority on the food I just made It's just so weird I'm the be all end all here Yeah Now you're gonna go see the judge Who's that?

You Oh You're never gonna believe who the judge. Who's that? You. You. Oh, you're never going to believe who the jury and executioner are. Any just across the board. Don't you say it's just word nonsense. It makes sense. And then you look at you talking about Arby's. You're talking about Arby's.

Exactly. Michael, what a great way to sum it up, dude. Look at the food and read what they're saying. These are paragraph long things that are just saying nothing and then it's like yeah, I guess the chicken was okay because it was wet. The chicken was

okay. Let's get like a professional voice actor like, I don't know, Brian Cox or something. Get him to read these in his known famously for his McDonald's commercial. Yes. Get him to read these in his like known known famously for his mcdonald's commercial yes get him to read these in his logan roy voice and then just like crossfade images of the worst slop arby's you've ever seen and just see how much the image of it undercuts what they're saying can he read it in a logan roy voice like he like even he knows it's shit yeah yeah like when

when he's talking about like the retirement homes or something the communities I'm confident that we'll triple our revenues there's a lot of him turning and going like the fuck are these assholes talking about what are we doing would you stop busing

I actually kind of now want him to read the facts I'm the other way. I want the guy, Jeremy Strong plays Kendall. I want him to do it. I think that would be sick. We could just get Tim G to do that. If we want someone to sound like Kendall, let's get TPG.

Guys, adapting restaurants for international taste. That's really good. It's always a fun challenge. What's the move? Big shoes. Big shoes. Anyway, always a fun challenge. What's the move? Big shoes. Big shoes. Anyway, back to the food. We're fucking flipping the paradigm.

Yeah, fucking eat. Fuck, fuck. Fuck the patriarchy. I've seen that part. I've watched the show. I've seen that part, and it made me laugh so fucking hard. That's him walking into his $80 billion 40th birthday party. Yeah.

Yeah. Like fuck the Patriot. That's such a good character. That's so fun. God, I love that show. What do you give this score, Jordan? What do you think of the food? Score it.

55. Okay. 55. They're sliders, so they're small. Two for four. And you don't have to eat them all. Two for four. You don't have to eat a lot of them.

You have to have a fourth one that you don't really want. Let me tell you this. Just get the chicken one if you want to try it. Yeah. I think that one's the best. I for four. You don't have to eat them all. Two for four. You don't have to eat a lot of them. You have to have a fourth one that you don't really want. Let me tell you this. Just get the chicken one if you want to try it. I think that one's the best. I do agree. That's a solid recommendation. And alone can't save it because there's a three whole slide. Yeah. The chicken was, I would maybe even use the word good. Yeah. The chicken

was good. I would go as far to say it's good. Because I ate that first at random and went wow, is this going to be a sneak treat? Three little treats that can't be beat? And then I got the rib. Yeah. And then they were all beat. And I went.

You thought it was a rib because it was dry as a bone. Yeah. It was a rib. It was a bone. And I went, this is not bad tasting, but fucking dry. Yeah. Holy shit, this is dry. That's when I started looking for the sauce,

and I was like, berry sauce? And Nick was like, no, no, no. Yeah. Then you got Screamy Dad. Then I got, you got Eek That. Yeah. And then I had the roast beef, and I literally opened it and went,

oh, man. Yeah. And I don't pay attention. I went, damn, I thought maybe we'd be like three things and not a roast beef. This could have been the burger on the grill that everyone knows they don't have. Exactly.

What a time to just like surprise, like drop a burger. I also just completely opened them at random. Yeah. They were just on a plate and they're wrapped. And I went, the chicken one was the best. And then the,

um, uh, the rib bone, which was like, eh. And then the rib bone, which was like, eh. And then the roast beef was like, yep, this sucks. That's the ranking, yeah. This is not great. If it were just the chicken, it would probably be decent, but it's not.

The 55 is definitely like that. The chicken is boo. Across the board, it's all of them. I also think there might be some readjusting in order here, where I'm looking at this now in 2023 going, there's no way they shoot a 72. So we must have been feeling good that day. Because I'm going, wow, it must have been amazing. No memory of it.

Again, probably it was like, fuck it, it's hot. Yeah. It's Arby's. Let's throw him a bone. Throw him a rib bone. I'll give you a 60. Okay. Throw him a bone, yeah.

60. 57.5. I could have given the chickens a 60. Okay. Throw him a bone, yeah. 60. 57.5. I could have given the chickens a 75. Yeah. I would have been in the 70s on the chicken for sure. But 57.5 for these. Just get two chickens. Two chickens.

For $4. Just get two chickens. Get two chickens, curry fries, and the jalapeno poppers. Right. That's decent. Eric got the crinkle cut fries. I had to know. I didn't know they made regular fries.

I saw them and I went, these are going to, they have to suck. I got excited. I went straight for them. Worst fries I've ever had. They tasted like nothing. And I was like, do you think they make this fry bad on purpose so that you have to get the curly fry? You got to wonder why they make it. I don't understand it.

I don't understand it. They just, they suck. They're like soggy and unseasoned. And it's not even close. And the curly fry is good. Yeah. It's the opposite of suck. It's blow.

It's blow. Hey, we have snacks. Yeah. You want to get them? Sure. Okay. You have to go get them. I think this is one though.

Okay, that's fine. If you want more snacks, you got it. No, no, that's good. One snack. That's right. Watch. I'm moving again. Still surprised. He's puttering. One snack. That's right. Watch. I'm moving again. Still surprised.

He's puttering. Oh, you're back up. That's every time I leave the room. RTX is coming up July 7th through 9th. Oh, we're still going? Yeah. That's smart. Get this out of the way now. Yeah, right here. I'll just do it now. If you want to send us a snack, you can. You send them snacks. We haven't done the snack yet.

If you're hearing this And you're like Oh did I miss something As I wasn't paying attention We are going to do the snack After I do all this stuff Rewind if you Send us snacks Face jam care of Eric Bedore

1901 50 East 51st Street Austin, Texas 78723 Make sure you put that Face jam care of Eric Bedore So that way people Don't have to talk to me And go hey is this for you

Face jam mafia track suits On sale now Wear it to pick up your fast food And then wear it to RTX You get that at Store.roosterteeth.com. Along with the Monkey League baseball shirt, wear it to a baseball game. Ooh, a home run.

But RTX coming up. Rat and Grackle Pub at RTX, July 7th through 9th. RTXaustin.com for the details. Big things are happening. I don't know that we can announce that there's going to be beer there all weekend. Okay. But should we hint at it? Stay tuned for what might be an announcement. About beer being there all weekend. Okay. But should we hint at it? Stay tuned for what might be an announcement.

About beer being there all weekend? Yeah, which is something we can't announce yet. Sure. But stay tuned for the announcement. There could be, though. Yeah. There could be another announcement, too. Yeah.

Or maybe not. Yeah. We're doing a live show there. Are we allowed to announce that? Yeah, we're allowed to announce that. Okay. Do we want to announce what we're eating? Ooh.

Ooh. Do you want to wait? When does this come out? This comes out next week. So it'll be the end of May. I'm going to wait. We can wait. Okay.

Because we figured it out. We know what we're going to eat. And if you come to RTX, you're going to know what we're going to eat before. So that way you can eat it also. You can go there too. And then you can see if our rating. We'll definitely let you know before. Yes.

So that you can plan a couple days before the convention. You can do your thing and plan your dinner. Yeah, because that's what we're going to do. And it is accessible from the area of the convention center. We're not doing in the convention center this year. No.

Because we ate all of their food. Yeah, we ate a peanut butter sandwich or whatever. Yeah. So RTX is going to, I'm excited for RTX. It's going to be good. There's also some mini golf stuff for AH, and there's an escape room for Red Web, and then F*** Face is doing the museum. We got to do a group photo of everyone.

We need to pick a day where everyone wears the track suit. Oh, that's a good idea. And everyone shows up at the rack on the track suit. Yeah, that's a cool idea. We do our rocko pose. We do our Face Jam mafia. It's pretty good. Yeah.

But you can follow us at face jam pod stay up to date on everything and now what's that wild protein chips oh yeah

chicken and waffles I think we ate these yeah but guess what we're gonna do it again yeah I bet I'll give a completely different yeah

probably this is from surestin who sent these thank you surestin I think we ate these. But guess what? We're going to do it again. I bet I'll give a completely different score. This is from Sherston, who sent these. Thank you, Sherston. They wrote a note, and they talk about themselves a lot. They really make it about themselves. Because I'm ripped, and they're obviously trying to copy me and get ripped. But they don't want to eat any food. And they said, can you eat this protein chip?

Let me know if it works. But they don't want to eat any food. And they said, can you eat this protein chip? And see if I can eat this protein chip? Yeah. I mean, again, I'm pretty sure we ate these already. But I feel like that was also a long time ago. And really, it's just been on my desk for a couple weeks. And I need to get rid of it. Cool. But I also have another snack. Okay.

That's separate. We could try it. This chip looks sad. Don't worry. It smells sad, too. Nick. What kind of protein we got in this, though? I got to check the stats here.

As soon as Nick gets his. That's pretty good, actually. Tastes like nothing but syrup. Which is fine. All right. So 10 grams of protein per serving. Very dusty aftertaste. How many is that?

It's dusty. Yeah. On Animal Crossing letterhead, no less. Yep. I don't play the game, but I know the leaf. Chicken breast, egg whites, and bone broth. That is what this is made with. Wow.

There's about, Jesus Christ. Oh, okay. Okay. There's servings per container about two. Serving size, 20 chips. Oh, my God. You got to eat half the bag. What's the calories on that?

This is insane to call these protein chips. Like, I guess they have them, and chips probably don't. You mean Doritos don't have protein? 170 calories, so not that many. That's not bad. But for 20 chips. You got to eat this whole goddamn bag bad but for 20 chips you gotta eat this whole goddamn bag of chips

for 20 20 grams of protein yeah so I mean just eat your post workout bag of chips if you like sucking down chicken and waffle chips

I mean I could not eat a whole bag of them this is the equivalent of like one big protein bar like I have Gatorade bars that are like 20 grams

and they're peanut buttery as shit. Do they taste like Gatorade? No, it tastes like chocolate and peanut butter. Oh, that's an improvement. But Gatorade's making money off the chocolate industry now. So just be aware of that. I would much rather eat that than this whole bag of chips. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You've got to love chips if you want this. I ate one and there's still some stuck to my teeth. They're not bad tasting, but they're not delicious and go, it's gone in a second. Yeah. I mean, it averages that there's 20 chips per serving, so there's about 40 chips in this bag. I'm not eating 40 of those. That's a lot.

That's also going to fill up my tummy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I say drink a Core Power. Yeah, I would agree with that. Just drink a core power.

Drink something with the protein in it, and it's... Right. I don't think they can, but I'm... Yeah. This is advice to somebody else. Yeah. I think that, like, these are fine, but they're not really... That's a bonus.

You eat those, that's a bonus. Yeah. I didn't go, and I need my protein. Let me get wild protein chips. And that's probably exactly what I said the first time we ate it, because I'm sure it was very focused on the protein. Yeah, you were so focused on that part. I remember you being big.

I was probably doing my 10 and 10. Yeah, you're definitely big. You're getting bigger. You're almost there. It's been a long time. So what do you score these wild chicken and waffles chips? 25. Okay.

Yeah, pretty bad, 30. Okay. And that's a 27.5, and I think that's totally fair. We did. And are you going to do this also? Yeah. Oh, okay. Real quick?

Yeah, let's do it. This is a send-in. This is a... Those are in the break room, aren't they? Yeah. Sent in by me. Yeah. Let's try Lenny's cookie.

I've had these before. But have you had it now? My wife is vegan Okay, here's my problem Why are we only buying fucking snickerdoodle flavor? Buy another fucking flavor You got one and it's snickerdoodle? Who?

What blackmail does snickerdoodle have? That we don't have oatmeal raisin Chocolate There are worse flavors, but there are better flavors It's just such an odd single flavor What blackmail does Snickerdoodle have that we don't have oatmeal raisin, chocolate, anything? There are worse flavors, but there are better flavors. It's just such an odd single flavor. It's like having one flavor of ice cream and it's like strawberry. That's not the one flavor you have. At least there's two Gatorades in the fridge.

At least there's two Gatorades. I can ping pong. What do you score it? It's still pretty good. I mean, yeah, it's totally fine. It's like a 75. It's also a fucking cookie. It's a big cookie, but it's a cookie and it's 16 pretty good I mean yeah it's totally fine it's like a 75 it's also it's also a fucking cookie it's a big cookie

but it's a cookie and it's 16 grams of protein as opposed to an entire bag of potato chips that is 20 yeah I mean obviously it's very good

this is definitely 75 definitely eat these just sent in by me thank you yep thank you wow

I'm sorry about you I need to pad it out a little bit when I went I think we ate these already mmhmm um and there you have it.

That's Face Jam. We did all the other news and notes and everything. We're talking about. I heard. Yeah, rat and grackle and stuff. I thought that's it. So why was he clapping? He was happy that you were leaving.

He clapped like he was going to cut. Well, no, no. He clapped because he realized that you saw him clap. He was clapping because you were leaving. He's like, ding dong, which is some real bullshit stuff. Oh, God. I kind of forgot where this office was, too, on the walk back. I was wondering what was taking so long.

You did come. Didn't open the door, but I went to the old one first. It's not over there. It was like Eric trying to get into the Arby's. I almost walked onto the other podcast. How many walls does this fucking room have? I think about it. Jordan, take us out.

Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. Thank you for listening as always. See you at RTX. And check your freezers. You never know. Before you go to sleep at night. Because there could be something trapped in there. Trying to get out.

There's a scene where Carmella dumps all the pasta out because the reverend already got pasta from someone else. Let me throw this one real quick. A little off script. Breaking Bad. Nick throws the pizza on the roof. Oh, that's pretty good. That me throw this one real quick. A little off script. Breaking Bad, Nick throws the pizza on the roof. Oh, that's pretty good. That's a good one. I think Breaking Bad,

you guys making meth, he is the fly. Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad, Nick, he's this size. Nick overdoses and vomits in his own mouth

and we leave him. Yeah. We just don't touch him. Nick. Nick crashes two planes into each other on accident. Nick rings a little bell until I explode or whatever. I walk out and half my face is gone. Nick was riding his bike in the desert and there was a train going by.

Nick's head on the back of a turtle as it walks through the desert. Goodbye!