100% Eat - Arby’s Fish ‘N Cheddar Sandwich & Mint Chocolate Shake

Episode Date: January 21, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Arby’s Fish ‘N Cheddar sandwich & Mint Chocolate Shake so you know if it's worth eating. The also talk about getting the fishies, assisted living facility proximities, and more. Sponsored by DoorDash. Download the DoorDash app and use code FACEJAM for $5 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It sounds terrible. No. It sounds terrible. No. I mean, you know, we'll just roll with it. The intro's really bad for us because Eric couldn't get us the right room. What the fuck? Well, you didn't.

What happened? Just do the regular intro. What happened, though? Just do the regular intro. But where's the regular room? We had, there are other, you said not to mention it on the show. No, I said we can't describe what it is. God.

Okay, but here's the thing. It's different, okay? The vibe is off. It is. We're not vibing. We lost the room to another show, but the other show won't be there for much longer, so we'll be back in our regular room shortly. Let's just burn it down.

We had to get, I offered to change the day and reschedule. Seems excessive. But I thought, we'll just use the new room and thenchedule. Seems excessive. But I thought we'll just use the new room and then I'll complain about it and then that's content. And here we are. Here we are. Yep. Guys, you're fighting and my stomach hurts a whole lot. Alright. It's making me... Is that it? Should we just go like that? Yeah, just do it. Just go. Are you sure? Yeah, leave it. It's not even really the intro because you put yourself before the intro anyway.

Every episode starts like, hey, I'm Eric. How are you? Subscribe to the podcast. No, that's just on the site. You only listen to it on the site. I listen to it everywhere. On the regular version, on like the audio version, it's not there. Just but like kindergarten, I forget every time.

It's whatever the last place I listen to. That's all of them. I listened to it last on the site. So I just assume it must be like that everywhere. Hey, this is Face Jam. Welcome to the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. Thanks to DoorDash for making this show possible. I almost threw up a little bit.

I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host and driver, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? Your driver? Well, all of ours, but you pointed out today when we were going there, you asked, how did I become the chauffeur? I've got the meats, man. What? I've got the meats. What does that mean?

You mean a car? No, it's like, that's their slogan. I've got, we've got the meats, Arby's. Oh, I didn't know. I thought you were talking about you being the driver. That's how I feel. You confused me. How I feel is, I've got the meats. I'm sick, too. Oh, I didn't know. I thought you were talking about you being the driver. That's how I feel. You really confused me. How I feel is I've got the meats. I'm sick, too. Yeah, it's a great day. It's a different set, different

microphones. Great food. My voice is different. You wait till the end to talk about the food, okay? We know you hate everything, okay? Well, what we've just eaten. Alright, so we've just eaten the Arby's fish and cheddar sandwich and mint chocolate shake format, and What? That's not and cheddar sandwich and mint chocolate shake format.

What? That's not. You don't have to say format. It's on the paper. I have to say it. And first time curveball, right? We got there. They had a bunch of limited edition stuff. They threw in some mac and cheese, too.

White cheddar mac and cheese. Eric is on the fly pulling this up because he was not prepared. We sprung it on him. It's true. We're testing him. No, I'm not. Yeah, we're not saying you were unprepared. No, we threw a curveball and you're trying to produce and catch up and run the show. Hey, so you're on the fly doing it. You're doing fine.

You're doing great. You're doing fine, man. Nice work. Appreciate it. You stroke his ego every 10 seconds. I said you were the driver I? Was a compliment like we wouldn't have the food without you I mean somebody else would have just drove Compliments on this show you're the driver, and I think he called you nice one time you did cuz he clung on to that I'm that a compliments crackle. Give me them give me them crumbs somebody draw Jordan man, please do.

Joined by our audio engineer and sauce expert, Nick. We really dialed in today that, like, he's obsessed with sauces. He had pockets full. He was pulling out sauce out of his pocket before we started. He went, ooh, extras. Yeah. And so you pointed out a thing that you were like, man, Nick knows a lot about Arby's. Because I don't know.

I feel like Arby's is kind of like the redheaded stepchild. 100%. It doesn't get brought up a lot. No. Like, if you want roast beef, you go to Arby's. I don't even think it's like a redheaded stepchild situation. I think it's like the... Yeah.

It's like the middle child that no one wants to talk to. I think it's like the... Because he's been like hanging around with some like skinheads lately and he comes to oh he hasn't been hanging out with the wrong crowd anyway anyway i don't even know how to address that but uh you just want to avoid arby's this is all i'm saying i'm just saying that it became clear thinking of when Nick comes with us to the places, he always dials in on the sauce. When we went and got the chicken and waffle, he was like,

get the syrup, get the extra syrup. What's going on about the syrup? He's very excited about free sauces and packets. He's just thinking about what he's going to drench all over whatever food we get. Yeah, and he was saying, he was like, oh, yeah. He said before we started, like, oh, dude, when I got those Whataburger spicy

ketchups, I was riding high with those for a while. I brought a bunch of those home. So he could eat other fast food french fries with them. Wild. Hey, some people, they got their systems. That's enough about Nick. He just blew three podcasts worth of

mentioning him. He will not be mentioned for the next. He will not be looked at. I'm not going to look at him. I'm not going to look at him the rest of this episode just to even it out. Too many compliments. Covering him with the paper. Excellent work. I don't know.

So we went to get it. We talk about that. Yeah. What can you say? We went to get it. We can talk about that. Yeah. What can you say? The longest pause I've ever seen. I don't even know where to begin with this. I would begin with past experiences with the restaurant. Well, I think choosing it because you gave us some options, Eric, as you do every fortnight.

You select the channel and you're like, here's what we could go eat. And of the things that you listed, I was like, well, this one sounds awful. We must do it. How are you feeling about that decision now, bud? This is going about as well as I thought it would as far as like what's going on my stomach right now the thing about it to me is like Jordan's like I chose something that sounded awful because it'd be good on the show but like to me that's not how Michael thinks but to me his reaction now is the same as every episode he's like this no matter what we eat he's like well I don't feel good that was why do we eat that that's everything we eat he does that it's not true, he does that. It's not true. It's mostly true.

You know that's not true. I liked one thing we ate. So it's mostly true. What is this, episode six? But it did make me feel sick afterwards. So five out of six times. You never jump in for joy. Oh my God.

It made me feel sick. I don't ever eat at Arby's. I'm not a huge roast beef fan, so I don't really go there. I'm not going to go to a fast food place to get a roast beef sandwich. Yeah, and there's not a lot of them. You gotta hunt an Arby's down. Yeah, we had to hunt this one down. I didn't even know where it was.

There was some, you guys, I would say, almost got into an argument about the directions. It was very awkward. Usually Eric's a very good navigator. They made sense. But he gave me some weird directions. I told you where to get off and where to turn around. Yeah, but you made it sound like I had to go on the street and then turn around. You were on the street.

I was not on Burn It. No. I was on Research Boulevard. Now you're Michael right now. If you're listening, you're me in the car. Guys, guys, let's just get the fish sandwich. There was somebody else in the car that could weigh in, but we talked about him too much. So I'm not going to bring it up.

There was just three of us in the car. He's retroactive. We've been removed in the car that could weigh in, but we talked about him too much, so I'm not going to bring it up. There was just three of us in the car. He's retroactive. We've been removed from the car. There's three of us in the car and just a big old dead weight. And nothing to do with Arby's. Boy, we saw such a power move on the way there. Oh, that's right. This was worth mentioning.

Yes. So we're driving there, and we're waiting to turn left at an intersection. It was one of those yield on greens. Yes. So the light's green and we're turning left. So we're yielding to cross traffic and there's a car in front of us. There's a car behind us. This car behind us pulls up and starts honking. And I'm like, I look back and I'm like, what is she looking at? And she's like throwing her hands up like, I can't believe these people. And I think Eric, he said something like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you trying to do? Asked and answered. She immediately backed up because she was so close to us.

She backed up, turned into the other lane, went past us both. Didn't even look to see if cars were coming, but like just vroom, turned left right in front of us. Went into the other lane, drove past two cars to make a left on the green yield, and we were all like, whoa! There was a car coming, but that was great. I didn't even hurry. Then as we were

driving after we waited and turned, realized she was like three cars in front of us. Didn't get very far at all. That just goes to show it's all about average speed. Yeah. You can speed up to the next red light, but then you're just waiting at the red light faster.

Yeah, but I bet she was riding that high. She had an adrenaline rush. I couldn't believe what I just did. She was like, dude, those pussies behind me. I thought maybe she thought it was a green arrow and we were stupid or something, but she just fucking went for it. I'm surprised you guys even noticed during the middle of the argument about what road to get off of and where you would turn around. Because I just wanted to go home at that point.

We couldn't go home. We had to go get a fish sandwich. We had to get the fish sandwich. With two pieces of cheese on it. Was there two? Was there two? Oh, my God. I didn't track it.

I'll be honest. That's not surprising to me at all. It was so melted. It's not surprising to me that you didn't That you did not track this particular one So my immediate reaction to Jordan Selecting this was I refuse to eat anything with fish on it

Because I don't eat seafood of any kind And then Jordan got really excited Because he's like It's gonna be awful, it's gonna make a great episode That Michael doesn't like And I did have a moment Because my reaction was gut instinct of like, no, I don't eat that. And then you were like, yeah, we got to do it. And then I paused and went, we do have to do it.

This isn't about me. It's about the food and it's about the audience. So we'll go eat it. Or it's just about the food. It depends how you look at it. No, no. This is, mm-mm. Nope.

the food it depends how you look at it no no this is nope i eric and i were talking about this earlier especially after the overwhelming reaction to the last episode of the barbecue bacon burger people need us we inform people we are positive role models uh i think i described it as like people are cold and wet and dark and hungry and we are the light that provides them the fast food insight that they need to not only get through their day, but maybe every day. Make their life a little brighter. Make their life a little brighter, a little less scary, a little warmer. And we saw that with the Dozens of people that went and got the McDonald's burger and also tried to reheat nuggets all right there was a huge

There's definitely a lot of swell of people telling you how to reheat nuggets because we talked about it in the last one and The most interesting part about that is no matter the solution almost everyone ended with but they're still pretty bad. Yeah Like the people want you to heat an actual oven. Here's how you reheat nuggets you go buy new nugget by new nuggets They can't be reheated and it's also don't do it also most likely faster Yes, cuz there's as we talked about there's a McDonald's every five miles. Yeah. Just go get new ones and eat them. You know? People seem to think air fryer was the way to go. Cool.

I don't have one. Yeah. If you have one, try it out. You do have a McDonald's down the street, though. That's like an air fryer. I wish I had a McDonald's in my cabinet. I'd take it out, put it on the counter, and I would scream into it. The food would come out.

Why scream into it? Because I want it now. I'm hungry. And I'm cold and I'm wet. He's a little elf and he's hungry. And this is why you're saving people, which is why I refer to you guys as our heroes. Right. I like that. I don't think we're being cocky

to say it's pretty deserved. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, you're doing work to help these people. I don't think it's the downtrodden. It's not too bold of us to say it's pretty deserved. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, you're doing work to help these people. I don't think it's... The downtrodden. Yeah. It's not too bold of us to say that, yeah,

we're pretty heroic. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, we're at two ends, admittedly, at opposite ends of the spectrum. Right.

But when we come together, the average score is meant to inform and, you know, let you make an informed decision so you can go eat whatever garbage food you want to eat. Well, good food. Or garbage food, depending on the score.

Well, I haven't had garbage food yet on this show. Are you sure about that? Yeah. Are you sure today about that? Well, you'll have to tune in to the end of the episode to find out. He's always dropping these teasers. He's a teaser. He's a little teaser.

That's what we call him. Little teaser, the compliments crackle. This is like in the Face Jam animated show spinoff it's going to be. It's your human head on a crackle potty. It's got little teaser, the compliments crackle. And Michael McFanhead with his McDonald's jacket. No, today I'm a little fisherman. A little elf fisherman.

Yeah. It's always a little something. Oh, my God. I cast my line and we got some cheddar sandwiches. Cheddarfish. Ah, fine. They're biting today. And mint chocolate shake format.

You have to say format every time. Why did you put it on there? No, look at the next part where it doesn't say format. No. He knows that. Thank you. You can take it off. I know you can.

But this is how I identify her so we know it's the format for the show. Because if you didn't put that, I wouldn't know what it is. I would go, what is this? What's this gibberish at the top of the page? Arby's fish and cheddar sandwich and mint chocolate shake. What's that? There's no, it doesn't say format after it. What is it?

All right. So we've established. Some of us, neither one of us were psyched about this. Neither one of us go to Arby's. No. You're correct. Not really sure what to expect. Neither one of us go to Arby's.

No, but you're correct. Not really sure what to expect. I'm also just hesitant and reluctant about any fish fast food item. Like Long John Silver's, I'll never eat there. I don't trust that for one second. I feel like it's associated a lot with sick. Yes. Getting sick. I call them the fishies.

Oh, man, I got the fishies. I got the fishies, you know. That's what I had at the beginning of the show. You've gotten over that already? Yeah, it's kind of the fishies. Oh, man, I got the fishies. I got the fishies, you know. That's what I had at the beginning of the show. You've gotten over that already? Yeah, it's kind of lightened up. Man, your metabolism is crazy. You were like, ah, the beginning of the show. We're 15 minutes in.

Just started. I may have thrown up off camera. Oh, damn. I missed that. You didn't move. You're quick. Yeah. Quick.

Let's go into Arby's facts.'s go into the Arby's facts. Let's do some Arby's facts. Tell us about the Arbs. Arby does refer to Arby, but does not stand for roast beef. Oh, that's like a common misconception. That's what I thought it stood for. It actually stands for Raffle Brothers, the founders of the restaurant. Raffle Brothers.

Is that real? Yes. That's a real thing? Everyone thinks it's Arby's roast beef. Yeah. Brothers. Is that real? Yes. That's a real thing? Yeah. Everyone thinks it's RB is roast beef. Yeah. And it was just common misconception. And they said, nope, Raffle Brothers. Or they changed their name to Raffle.

So it would be RB. So it did reference roast beef. I mean, they don't have to go by the Raffle Brothers. It seems like they could definitely retcon that. They were leaning into that. Yeah. People are catching on. It's like when,

what's his face, Jonathan Nolan, who works on Westworld, saw that somebody on a subreddit predicted what was going to happen and Westworld was like, we got to change it. We can't let them be right.

We got to outsmart them. That's right. Arby's is the Westworld of a fast food restaurant. Thank you, yes. Or like Rian Johnson. He did it too. What did he do?

It was a popular film, Star Wars. Yeah. The Last Jedi. Uh--huh and he changed everything Because he didn't like that people knew what was gonna happen, and he was like I'll ruin everything That's why people call him Ruin Johnson Is that what they call him? Yeah? I mean it the people pretty good negative against the last Jedi call him Ruin Johnson It's a bunch of group in cells going ruin Johnson. Aren't we clever?

Uh-huh. Yeah, and he goes stop I made knives out and that was good. Yeah, he hey he saved he redeemed himself And JJ Abrams was like now I gotta put the second movie in my third movie. I was finding that now I got a retcon Maybe care about that It was the third movie that the third movie. It was the third movie that, the third movie that was in the third movie that sucked.

The second movie that was in the third movie was good and fun. Yeah, that was fine. Where did it end? Where did the second movie end and the third movie

It ended for Eric when Kylo Ren, I'll fucking spoil it. What do I care? Go for it. I don't care. It's not the spoiler. It's the curse.

Hey, welcome to Star Wars cast. We're in the middle of facts. I mean, I'll tell you exactly when I turned on the movie. Do it. When they go... I threw up my hands and went, no fucking way. And then the rest of the movie was like dog shit.

Well, they can just bleep that part. Yeah, bleep that part. Bleep it. Damn, dude. When you're beep. Dog shit. Because they should have been gay lovers. There you go.

All right. What? Arby's owns Buffalo Wild Wings, which definitely seems backwards, right? Buffalo Wild Wings? Amazing. That's like your dog owning you, the human. That's an amazing establishment.

Do you know how many wings you can get there? This is my owner, Scruffy. I think we had some Buffalo Wild Wings over the weekend. No, that was Wingstop. Yeah, that was Wingstop. Thanks, DoorDash. You guys were hanging out? Yeah. That's cool. We were watching football or we would have been like... Yeah, we would have invited you, but it was football, yeah.

I wouldn't have come if there was no football. Just so you know. In 2012, a man got his dick burned by a urinal at Arby's in Colorado. Hold on, hold on, hold on. When he told an employee, they said, we're having that bathroom problem again, which is what I kind of expect from Arby's. Okay.

Okay, that second part was worth it. I was going to stop it and be like, how did this happen? Before we get the explanation. I knew there wasn't one. That's why I continued. Arby's. Yeah. Stop it and be like how did this happen before we get the explanation I knew there was Recurring problem they don't know how to fix it you miss Arby's dude was taking a piss in a urinal in Arby's When you flush for some reason there was there was a backflow problem with the water. Stop saying words, you're going to kill Michael.

Backflow problem. I got fish brain. Oh man, he's got fishy brain now. The fishy's gone to his brain. They said when he flushed the urinal, a jet of steam came out of it and burned his dick. Whoa! A Dyson-powered urinal. When he screamed

and then told... He screamed and told the employee about it, and the employee said, that's a quote, we're having that bathroom problem again oh man not again damn dude how many burn dicks did they

go through probably a lot apparently when their sink ran hot the water backflow caused steam to shoot out of the urinal when it was and it like melted the steam again he sued Arby's. He sued them for financial strain or whatever.

And also the strain of not being able to have sex with his wife. For how long? I don't know. Were they like third degree burns? I don't know. Was he not circumcised before? And now who knows? Imagine going to take a piss and you get a jet of hot steam out of your ear.

And you're like, no! This is backwards! Honestly, it's the last thing I would expect. It's surprising, for sure. You know what I'm going to do from now on? Make sure everything's put away before... Check all the holes. Yeah, before any flushing happens.

Smart. Do a test flush, put my hand over it. Did he win the lawsuit? Yes, he did, but it was an undisclosed amount. Boo. That means like $50 million. That guy's rich now. Dude, it's his dick.

He can buy a new dick. I'd melt my dick for $50 million. Are you kidding me? All right, you heard it here first. Michael would melt his dick for $50 million. It's not the first time I've said it. It's not the first time I've said it. Maybe it's the first time you've heard it.

$50 million. It's not much I won't do. Unrelated to the 50 million dollars, did they fix the urinal at this Arby's? Yeah, yeah. They put a warning label on it. Yo, be careful. Melt dick zone. They put the wet floor sign. They just put like a sticker with a

picture of lava next to the urinal. I was just thinking we could do a quick little video series going to Colorado, find this Arby's. Hey, if anyone can find it and take a video of you flushing urinal and melting your dick, keep it, because I don't want to see it. Arby's has a secret menu sandwich called Meat

Mountain, containing two chicken tenders, one and a half ounces of roast turkey, one and a half ounces of ham, one slice of Swiss cheese, one and a half ounces of corned beef, one and a half ounces brisket, one and a half ounces of ham, one slice of Swiss cheese, one and a half ounces of corned beef, one and a half ounces brisket, one and a half ounces of Angus steak, one slice of cheddar cheese,

one and a half ounces roast beef, and three half strips of bacon. Why just say one and a half strips? It must suck to work at Arby's. That's crazy. I got to the end And I went Did he put some of these

On here twice Because it just went on so long You were going on No For a limited time What In 2017 And I bet now

It also included A fish Fish Filet What Could you imagine ordering that So I thought How tall

Yeah why didn't we get that Because it's not on their menu. It's not a limited menu thing. But imagine having to assemble that in the back. Like, just going, what the fuck? How do I do? What the fuck? And you're, like, halfway just going, one piece of cheddar cheese.

I like how just even in this description they were so far apart. You can't separate. You can't put the cheese back to back when there's 19 meats. I love the three half strips of bacon. Why not just say one and a half strips of bacon? Somebody up front is like, another Widowmaker! There's no way anybody could eat that. Toadfish or whatever his name could.

Remember the guy who ate all the pancakes? The 69 pancakes? 68 pancakes. What was his name? Stone Toad or something? Toadfish. It was probably Stone Toad. I? Toad Fish. What was his name? Stone Toad.

What was his name? I think Toad was in there. Yeah. Boy, you're going to look silly if it wasn't. What's his name? Toad. I thought his name was... I think it was Meat Toad or something.

It was really stupid. Yeah. Is what it was. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I mean, that's a whole different monster. You're talking about meat. He was a professional pancake eater. We don't know what that guy's like.

Does it ever go on Man Vs. Food? I don't know. Eating Meat Mountain on Man V Food? Let me see. I'll look it up. He's more on the fly. He's on top of this stuff. Arby's fish and... Oh, that's it. It's done. I started reading the next fact and there was none.

That was just the PR thing. These are pretty good facts. It's hard to top the melted penis. Steam melted. Wow. So I can't find it on Man Vs. Food, but on YouTube, there's a lot of competitive eaters eating Arby's meat. How tall is it? It's substantial.

It's distinct. How many ounces of meat is that? A lot. A lot of ounces. Okay. I don't know. I'm not doing math. I'm producer. I don't do math you got the phone I'm looking up a picture of me mountain for you right now, okay? You like it see that picture, but we can hey oh stomach aches coming back. I got the fishies again. Oh boy

No, I hate it Hate it. That's all hideous. It's like a foot tall and you know, it doesn't look that good No, when you're right or it knows that's the glamour shot That's a sandwich that they've like sprayed with and they put the card board in between. Yeah, you can't eat that sandwich. It's plastic Brutal they can't you can't get a big mac to look good. Two pieces of meat and some cheese. It's got a bun in the middle to help it. And you open one of those beasts as majestic and delicious and

perfect as they are. Those are certainly adjectives, yeah. Correct adjectives. It still falls apart. Get into the It still falls apart Into the like in the PR. Yeah the PR of the food. Okay. Yeah, let's be clear Let's get into the PR of the food. Okay, here we go Sorry, wanted us to like jump to talk about My favorite part. Yeah, it's his favorite parts why he shows up

Arby's fish and cheddar sandwich a A crispy fish filet with cheddar cheese sauce. Yeah, it was cheddar cheese. I thought it was melted cheese. It looked like a slice of cheese on the sandwich. I had conflicting information. Uh-oh. This, technically on the website, says cheese sauce. You're correct, because I looked it up today.

Yep. However, everywhere else that I looked online said two pieces of cheese on top of it was definitely because I cheese because they talk about how big it is how it hangs off the bun and all right So they put two pieces of cheese on it so Arby's What the fuck I demand some answer. I know you have the meat, but do you got the cheese? They got too much. They got the cheese. We know that's what form of cheese. What? You got what form of cheese? Maybe it's all sliced cheese, but some of it they put in front of the dick burner and it melts. That's how they get it all melted.

They take it to the Arby's in Colorado to melt the dick and melt the cheese. All the cheese in Colorado is melted. It just goes down the pipeline. All right, finish your food PR on this. It's barely even begun. It's a crispy fish filet with cheddar cheese sauce, lettuce, and tartar sauce, all on a sesame bun. Yep, it's all on there. That's basically it.

They don't describe, like, the posters and shit in the restaurant. I don't really want to hone in on the uh hanging off the hanging off the bun the alaskan fish yeah that was all over the website too like so from alaska so arby's did a thing what what they do now how they fuck this up on their website they hurt on their website they don't use like very flowery language to describe their food. It is very straightforward. When you're looking for press releases where they talk about the food, it's just people describing it their own way. It doesn't look like they provide a vivid detail of like hanging off the bun.

They do that on like their signage, but not in like their press release stuff. They let H. John Benjamin do that. Yeah, there you go. They wanted to like keep it real that's that's their stuff man like listen yeah we've burned some dicks in the past we're sorry if you like fish it's a big old piece of fish there's some shit on it order it maybe it'll be sauce we don't fucking know we we we don't know okay we told them sauce and people they don care. They keep putting slices on it. And we're just going to let them do it. Arby's, I'm out.

And then they drop the microphone. Arby's, I'm out. We're on a website. Arby's, bye. Let me read the white cheddar mac and cheese, and then you can do that last one. White cheddar mac and cheese, creamy and smooth white cheddar mac and cheese made with Elmo macaroni. That's useless. It's like an alien describing food. That's useless. It's like an alien describing food.

That is how it is mac and cheese. Mac and cheese. Eat mac and cheese. Because if you go back and listen to the McDonald's episode, I took that directly off their website and then would find press release stuff where people would describe it and everything. This is directly off their website.

It is elbow macaroni. It is white cheddar mac and cheese. Macaroni and cheese. It's macaroni and cheese. Thanks, Arby's. Well, contrary to that, this mint chocolate shake description has a little bit of...

Hit him with that flourish. This one's a little more fun. If you've had a long, hard day of not drinking a mint chocolate shake topped with Andy's candy pieces, then Arby's has the shake for you. The mint chocolate shake is back. I bet Andy's wrote that. I 100% agree.

Andy's and Arby's, we don't give a fucking shit. We'll put this on our website. A place where nobody who eats at Arby's goes. We don't give a shit. You write it. We'll put it up there. We don't care. Would it be safe to say?

Some copywriter at Andy's is like, oh, my time to shine. And nobody gives a shit. Do you think people at Arby's have the internet? Like people at Arby's just in general? Because they have phones and they maybe go on the internet on their phones. But at home, I bet they don't have home internet. Yeah. They probably don't know that satellite internet is a thing.

Yep. I'll be honest this is so there's just so many layers of the andy's mint chocolate shake uh-huh you know i mean some people like mint but i feel like it's definitely not a top contender right right it's not it's not up there with the big heavy hitters barbies you know kind of exists you know, kind of exists. And then let's throw in Andy's. The only reason I know they exist is because I had grandparents. Or went to Olive Garden once. You know, anybody under the age of 85 that has Andy's in their house?

Who the hell is this marketed to? Again, people who don't have internet. Grandma's. Who's getting the real, like, push from this? Is it Arby's working with Andy's? Or Andy's getting the big bump from working with Arby's? I don't think anybody's getting the bump from this. I think it's a lose-lose.

I think they're doing a Thelma and Louise hold hands, drive off the cliff situation. Hey, we're both fucked. Let's do it. I think we walked in today and someone went, hey, hey, wake up. Wake up. Somebody's here. Do we know? They're ordering the shake!

Do we know if, like, Arby's... You know how, like, a lot of times when restaurant chains, like, the same company owns them, they always put them next to each other? Do we know if Arby's are strategically placed near, like, assisted living centers? Eric, can you crunch the numbers on that? Let me look! Did we see what was across the street from Arby's? No, but I'm going to look it up. I'm just saying, we might want to look into this.

Like, you know, it's like a Taco Bell pizza hut. That's why there were all those orderlies in the Arby's with those carts. It makes sense. They call them Arborlies. There's one more little bullet on this yeah basically what eric said arby's doesn't do fun press releases about food but they have something called a chief people officer arby's is lame make a fucking paper craft eric is really stretching his legs on these i don't like fact sheets i don't like the paper crafts that they do.

I don't like them at all. What's a chief people officer? I don't know. I don't know. What's a vice president of menu innovation? What's her day-to-day like at McDonald's? Dude, I'll be honest. Compared to this, McDonald's seems like a whirlwind of activity.

They're probably doing shit left and right. They actually like have customers They have customers and they actually like interact with them and give them information Yeah, I don't is our bees like as I be struggling like did they not have like a press department I'll be honest. I'm shocked our bees is still in business. I don't know I can I agree anyone anyone I don't know and like it seems like every week or every other week, they're doing a new thing. I didn't even hear about these fish sandwich things, but I see commercials for Arby's sandwiches with H. John Benjamin yelling at me all the time. And then we went there and there was another thing that we didn't even know about.

We walked in. First of all, the mac and cheese, we saw. And then as we were waiting in line, you saw they had little steak sandwiches. They had petite steaks. Petite filet sandwiches. And then you went, oh, we saw. And then, as we were waiting in line, you saw they had little steak sandwiches. They had petite steaks. Petite filet sandwiches. And then you went, oh, we should get that. That actually looked good. As Eric was ordering the fish, we discussed, like, should

we just order these and eat these instead? And just make that in the show, kind of hijack it. And just throw the fish away in the trash. Because I attested most of this fact sheet is probably about the restaurant and not the fish Yep, and then lo and behold what a perfect episode to do it. It is fish you are eating Nothing would have lost absolutely nothing. Yeah, my only argument against it was like yeah, but the press

Yeah, but you know that's gonna be something Damn it, but this is this is the evolution of the show. Now you'll know which restaurants you can do that with. Exactly, yeah. We don't have shit to talk about. I'm keeping track. I like it. Right in my little book.

Oh, my God. That's basically it. We might go back for that steak sandwich, though. That looked pretty good. You keep saying that. We're not going back for that. Next Fortnite. No, we're absolutely not doing Arby's twice in a row.

Back to back? That's crazy. You guys are just afraid of innovation. No, we're absolutely not doing Arby's twice in a row. Arby's back to back? That's crazy. You guys are just afraid of innovation. No. No, I just don't want to go to Arby's again. Honestly, can't say blame you. Dude, I said this on the last episode when we did the barbecue bacon cheeseburger. I was like, I don't know how long this thing's going to be around because it was out for a bit before we did it yeah enough for you to get it five times yeah I think it was six how many times have you had it since we ate it

twice oh my god oh my god how many times I've been to McDonald's since we ate that zero obviously well I mean you know Apology barely in up and chin up. It's right around the corner. You can go they'll let you in They don't know you so they won't hold it against you Going to that Arby's was almost like culture shock after going to that nice McDonald's I was I was like back back to slum in it in fast food restaurants, right? It was like it was like that Arby's hadn't been changed since the 70s, but wasn't actually built until the 90s. They started with old technology.

They were made. It saves money. You know, you use technology and blueprints from 20 years ago. Oh my god. Well, I mean, when you're you know, when your urinals are burning dicks off, is it really that surprising? It's a test of it to the craftsmanship. But I was going to say, there was a bunch of people that went to McDonald's and they're like, we don't sell it anymore.

Oh, really? Yeah. Which is surprising. It wasn't across the board. We caught it at the tail end because a lot of people did get it. But I got a couple of comments of going like, didn't have it. Do we know since this is the fish sandwich we ate is Alaskan cod? Yes.

Do we know that the Alaskan Arby's is actually fresh instead of frozen. I would think that in Alaska, if there's Alaskan Arby's, they catch the fish, they catch the fish, they freeze it, they ship it to Wisconsin, and then they ship it back to...

Their distribution center. They're not dropping it off at the Arby's on the way out. All you do is drive this to Arby's on the way out. Oh, I do this. Drive this to Arby's. We don't know that. No, but it's a,

it could be fresh. It's a guesstimate. I just, I'm just, I just feel bad. The one time like Alaskans can get something fresh from a fast food restaurant. They probably don't. They get stiff.

Yeah. I'm sure they do. I'm sure they definitely get stiffed. Michael's thinking. I don't even like, my heels are turning. So do you think the Alaskans are like, oh, finally, we could have got fish at Arby's.

And they live in Alaska. Hey, you think anyone in Alaska has internet? Arby's is probably the biggest client. If you're in Alaska, let us know. Finally, I can eat fish. Hashtag Cape Cod. You can let us know. That doesn't make any sense.

No, that's good. Yeah, but like. He knows what he did. Yeah. That's why he did it. Yep. Hashtag Cape Cod. Let us know if you are eating the Alaskan cod in Arby's. That's about as dumb as doing an audio podcast at a convention. You dummy. No, he's like the woman at the light. He's two steps ahead.

Okay? You're back here sitting at the green. You can go. He's waiting at the next red light Sucker I'm gonna catch up to you soon. Yeah, right You know what I like I add that woman drove by notice like she didn't have a rearview mirror cuz she never looks behind She's ripped it right off All right, I rule I looked at Nick He was gonna fall over honestly that makes her maneuver all the more dangerous.

All right, enough of this ragamoroll. Let's talk about, I guess, the food. Get into it. Review the food and give it a score. Not great. It's a fish sandwich. It's a fish sandwich. Mm-hmm. I don't like that type of lettuce that they have

where it's like a very fine cut, like you unwrap the burger or sandwich or whatever and it just It's shredded but also somehow wilted. Yeah, and it didn't really need to be there at all. You take shredded lettuce and you leave it out in the sun for a couple hours

and then you put it on the sandwich. It was definitely hanging off the bun. So at least it's as advertised. And I guess it was cheese. So as advertised, one way or the other. Way too much cheese sauce at one point. I was eating it and the fish kind of slid back of the bun so I had to move it up.

But that just took all the cheese sauce with it. So it just kind of squirted out of the bun. Sorry if you're wearing headphones. I am, Eric. Thank you. Big ol' globular cheese, and it just tasted like fish, you know? It wasn't great. Very bland

fish. Cheese did nothing for it. Tartar sauce did nothing for it. The only way I enjoyed it was put Arby's sauce on it oh and who provided you with that sauce thank you sauce expert nameless man sauce tender sauce tender sauce tender schwarz but but i think it only worked because it just like, you gotta drench it and it's just like, oh, it's just Arby's sauce

And you were like, it helps, but I just thought what's the point of that? You can just drink the sauce It's mainly all the sandwich does It's just a release from the sandwich All the sandwich is doing is providing some texture to the sauce

You can put anything on that fish and make it taste like that thing. And the shake, I'll be honest, I hate mint. I picked it. The reason this combo is so attractive to me is because I could think of nothing worse than a fish sandwich with a mint shake. Like, what else could I hate more?

I mean, I guess like like, they're not... Fish and bread and then mint? Mmm. They're not, like, paired together. Because they had a lot of... They're definitely not meant to go together. They had a lot of crap. But it is, you know, weird

that they're both promotions at the same time. Yeah. I don't know. Leading to my confusion of, like, there's no strategy involved with, like, when they throw these things out. It was everywhere. Right. All over the place. Right. It's Arby's. I guess that we got there and also there's mac and cheese. Yeah.

And with the mac and cheese they also had mozzarella sticks. They were on the poster too. Yeah. Finally. They're just literally throwing every piece of shit at the wall. Four great tastes that go great together. Macaroni and cheese fish sandwich, mint chocolate shake. Other thing. I guess if I would have to give it a score.

What about the mac and cheese? Oh, the mac and cheese. Yeah, come on, please. That counts. Yeah, you fucking made me buy it. Hey, I didn't do anything. You didn't pay for it. Calm down.

Yeah, thanks, Trevor. We don't know who that is. That was definitely the best out of the three, but even then it's like saying that like the last third of the fourth movie of Star Wars. I was trying to come back, but like your math is all fucked up. Yeah, you fell apart. It was just the second half. Yeah, the fourth movie. The third movie?

Uh-huh, the third movie in the third movie. I love the fourth movie in the trilogy. The second movie in the third movie. He's your co-host. Do something. He's my driver. I made that clear. You said co-host and driver.

That's true. You're both. You can put both on your business card. Oh, thank God. I printed 4,000 already. The mac and cheese was the best thing, but even then it wasn't very good. It was very plasticky cheese is the way I would describe it. And I took one bite and it was the last one I would dare to take where it was way too much cheese.

And it was just kind of like stuck in the corner of my mouth because it's so thick and like viscous. Ugh. No no thank you and then i was like looking for like relief and i went back to the shake just ping-ponging back and forth between things i hate so i'm really at uh uh i feel like a character low for uh on on the arc of the hero's journey This is the end of the second act for me. I'm at my low point with the burger last week, or last fortnight, and the Arby's this week. Well, you're confusing them. You're saying the burger last week was amazing. No, not to me.

You didn't listen to what I said about it. I didn't like the burger. Did you not catch that? I don't think that's what happened at all. I'm pretty sure we can play back some audio. We'll talk about it after. That was so long ago, I forgot. Anyway, I'd give it a 17.

Oh my god! It fucking sucked! When you started saying seven, I'm like, he's going to put it in the fucking 70s? Crazy! Damn. I was going to give it a 16, and then I remembered the mac and cheese. I gave it a one. Wow.

It was a journey, let me tell you. I don't like fish. But. He does like cheese. I do like cheese. And there was two slices of it. That's pretty good. Or two sauces of it.

Two sauces worth. Someone poured sauce on, and they said, second sauce. We need more sauce. And then Nick came at us somewhere and just started squirting it out. He had a bunch in his pocket. He was asking, like, hey, you got that cheese in a packet? Can I get some of that? And they were like, sir, we don't have that.

But it was awful. The fish sandwich was terrible i don't know um why anyone would do that i don't know why they would eat that i'm waiting for a turn here where you say it was awfully great no it was bad okay good it was a bad fish sandwich yeah um fish sandwiches go not great i didn't like it um it's hard to say as fish sandwiches go because i don't eat fish sandwiches so i don't have much to compare usually if sandwiches go, cause I don't eat fish sandwiches, so I don't have much to compare it to. Usually if I eat fish, I'm eating just the fish. I'm not putting bread, I don't need to mix bread into it.

Um, however, this show isn't about me. Oh god. It's about, you know, the people that are gonna go get it, so to put myself in the mindset of someone who does like fish, I was thinking about it and like the fish was crispy. It was a good size for hanging off the bun. Had cheese.

I like that the lettuce was really small so I didn't have any trouble like biting it. Like it was snack size. You know what I mean? Sometimes there's like too much lettuce and you go, ah, there's too much lettuce on this sandwich. I was like, this lettuce is perfect. Do you think people who like fish sandwiches struggle with chewing lettuce? Well if it overpowers the the chicken yeah, you up you're upset with the barbecue sauce So I'm just like they they solve that was too much sauce. There could be too much lettuce

There's a decent amount of lettuce, so I think if I liked fish it would have been a pretty good sandwich See I don't use my taste buds I'm using their taste buds You can't just change your criteria I can do whatever I want Like get the food five times before we eat it And I did it So you're proving my point

The mint chocolate shake was repulsive I too Kept finding myself Just going back and forth. I never wanted one flavor to stay in my mouth for more than a few seconds. Get this out of here. So I would eat the fish and then drink the mint chocolate shake

and go, thank God. And then a second later go, oh no. And then I'd go back to eating the fish. And then at one point, Eric looked at me and reminded me and spoke to me like a child and said, hey, here's your mac and cheese, bud. Thanks, dad. And I said, thanks, pal.

And I'll be honest. Here's the real travesty. Boy, they fucked that up. Yeah. I mean, how do you fuck that up? They fucked up mac and cheese. Okay. Their description was written by aliens.

Okay. Maybe aliens made it, too. I don't know. The cheese was so thick. Oh, that's gross. I mean, like, not good. Like, I ate it hot, but it felt like, you know how when cheese gets cold? Yeah, it was like coagulated.

It was coagulated while hot, which I didn't even know you could do. Which is why it was like hanging out in my mouth that one. I was just going... You kept making that noise. I didn't like it, and I still don't like it.

Get it out. And the biggest turn there is what I thought would be the hero, the saving grace, turned it out to be the villain, the mac and cheese. Betrayed, yeah. It honestly betrayed me. Bet me betrayed by Arby's really

so I was too much stock in it I was really ready to like give it a decent rating because you know people have bad taste you know obviously and uh half the show does I know I we agree Jordan I do it every week with you and I go go home scratching my head. So I'm trying to put myself in someone like your shoes and think, maybe this fish is good. But the mac and cheese, I said, no. This is not, you know, before the mac and cheese, I probably would have given it like a 40. Uh-huh.

But after the mac and cheese, I'm,'m... Oh, God. It was bad. I'm gonna have to give it, like, a 39. That makes sense. I'm gonna give it a 39. No decimals you wanna throw on there real quick? No. Okay. Just a 39.

Well, you added one for the... Yeah, you take one away. Mac and cheese, so I took one away. I tried to keep it even, you know, like... We're like two sides of a coin, you take one away. So I took one away. I tried to keep it even. You know, we're like two sides of a coin. You understand? And then the average is that edge. The little edge you can stand it on.

The average score is 28. That's brutal. It's brutal. We were talking about before we recorded, what's the highest average score? Oh, we found the lowest. Certainly the lowest. That answers one question i didn't want to go into this and just rate it awful because i don't like fish i was expecting but it was terrible i was expecting like to make a joke out of it and be like oh it's gonna be awful haha and then it was gonna be not as bad as we expected hey meet fully when we when

we started unwrapping it i'm like this might this might not be that bad. And then I took a bite. It actually looks pretty good. It does. I got fucking duped straight up. I thought that like, oh, this might actually turn out to be good. The bun was a little soggy when I opened it up, but the fish looks crispy and like it's a good looking filet. I'm pretty sure

if you just ate the fish by itself, it's a good meal. But the sandwich as a whole just... I said to you before we started, hey, maybe I'll like fish after this. No. I don't think you do. I'm running to that Dick Milter after this.

I would rather... Put me out of my misery. I would rather rate that urinal and get rich pissing. I got choked up a little bit. It's a beautiful thing. Also, just for context context I went and got a trash can before we started eating Oh, yeah I had to throw up you dragged a trash can all the way across like the studio floor and placed it went

For when I throw up yeah, I'm surprised I didn't but it was it was rough if I didn't have the other shit to cycle Through I would have thrown up there. I I was feeling pretty bad just before we started recording like usually after we record i'll be like done for the rest of the day and just be like oh man the thing's really hanging out with me like sticking in my gut but uh today was before the show it was like i'm not feeling great i might throw up i might throw up during the show so that't recommend it, not enough. I would agree. Don't get the Arby's fish and cheddar sandwich. Unless you really want to

experience it. Inevitably when you do. Inevitably when you get it because you listen to this, you should not get it. When you do, let us know what you rate it. If you're gonna go and get it because we are your guiding light, go ahead and get that steak sandwich. Get the steak sandwich and let us know what you rate it if you're gonna go and get it because we are your guiding light go ahead and get that steak sandwich

and let us know so cause Jordan's not getting it for the next episode it's true and I'm probably not gonna go get it on my own of course you're not if you do get that tweet at us at facejam pod use hashtag steakhead I'm falling apart I'm fighting through illness the fish is bringing me back up.

I was going to say, we crossed 10,000 followers. Did we really? Yeah. Face jam pod. All right. Catching up to me and the amount of people who follow me on Twitter. If we could just get a couple of people to jump ship. Yep.

Get them off of my feed and on the face jam. I'll unfollow Eric. Oh, thank you so much. Oh, you follow him? Yeah. Thanks, man. Hey, we you so much. Oh, you follow him? Yeah. Thanks, man. Hey, we hang out. That's true.

We would invite you, but, I mean, we've gone over this. Yeah. You tried to DM me, but you can't DM me because I don't follow you, so. It's an issue. Yeah, you won't give me your phone number. I don't really know how to get a hold of you. All right, well, that's the fish. Now, moving on to the exciting new addition

we started last week, the snack attack. That's what it says here. We've got Bamba Peanut Puffs from Adam Rosen. Peanut Puffs. Try this Israeli shit. That's what it says. Oh, baby. That says it.

God, I'm welcoming anything that's not what you just ate. How do you make a puffed peanut? You gotta blow really hard. Well, they've done it. That's what that is. It's a puffed peanut, all right. It's a puffed peanut. Well, they've done it.

That's exactly what it tastes like. Don't know what they've done, but they've done it. I know what they've done. They've turned a peanut into a puff. That's exactly what it is. It's all the fun of a Cheetos puff with all the fun of a peanut. It's like... And then it does kind of turn into peanut butter in your mouth.

It's the weirdest thing ever. It feels thick, which is crazy, because the puff is light and airy. And then as you chew it, it turns to thickness. But normally, I wouldn't like that, but that's what peanut butter is yeah, that's I feel like I would never want to eat that But that's not bad. This would be great if that's way better than the sandwich we ate mm-hmm Straight best thing I've eaten today ate it if you're in the mood for like peanut butter You don't have any around you. This is just like Condensed peanut butter you just wouldn like condensed peanut butter. You just put it in your mouth. Who the hell wouldn't have peanut butter but have this?

I'm all on a peanut butter. I don't know. I happen to have this bag of peanut butter puffs. I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so I'm just going to take a bite of bread. I'm going to eat about six of these and a spoonful of jelly. You could do that. A convenient way to get your peanut butter in a dry form. I'm going to give it a 70.

Yeah, I'm feeling 65. It's a little too dry. It's dry. I'll give you that. 70. Uh, yeah, I'm feeling 65. It's a little too dry. It's dry. Yeah. I'll give you that. 67.5. Yeah, it was, uh, wasn't terrible. For the Bamba peanut puff.

I could probably only eat two. I don't, I can't snack on those. Well, good thing on this show, you only have to eat one. Yeah, dude, you saved him. That's what's up. And we already got. Thanks, bud. Do we have any, like, in supply?

More snacks? Right now? Do you want me to go run and get those? No, no, no. I just mean for the future. Do we have a bunch? No, no, no. We only have one more. Okay. Is that the one that I brought over? Yeah. So please send us stuff. Send them if you want us to send. That's just why we had a back catalog or not. Nope, not yet. Send them up the address. Send it to FaceJam

courtesy of Eric Bedour because that way they know to give it to me and it doesn't end up with Michael or Jordan. Yeah, Jordan was getting alerts for it to pick it up, and then Michael had it somehow. So please put someone's name on it. Just anyone. 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 787

23. The people who work here will be like, Face Jam, that's that Michael Jordan shit, right? I'll just slack both of them. If you put sauce tender on it, we'll know yeah They won't No the person getting the package will go what the fuck is this what am I supposed to do with this throw it in the trash But uh we'll know yep. We'll know where it should have gone

Can we not pick a funny one that we think is gonna be gross on purpose and eat something That sounds nice Jordan finally decided to come out and say something and contribute. And I thought, let him have it. He's helped before. Remember when he said KFC, KFC, KFC, KFC? That's true. KFC, KFC.

I'm always the first one to reply to those. Because I can't wait to eat some shitty shit. Oh, man. That's it. Be sure to rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat the food and then rate the food. And if you want to see pictures, check

out the Twitter, FaceJamPod. That way you can listen to it and look at the pictures and then go, oh, you're here with us. Listen, if you want video, too bad. This is what I say to you. Look at the pictures. Put it in a slideshow. Put it in your mind's eye. Close your eyes. Listen.

You're there. You're here. And then pinch zoom and move around. There's a space on the couch right next to me that we never have and only have this episode because Eric didn't book the room right. But imagine you're sitting there. Yeah. And here you are with our heroes eating a fish sandwich.

It was not good. Look, we tried something and we... And we'll never do it again. We learned our lesson, okay? I've never been this like, not excited to eat the food. I just wanted something with a low score finally. I wanted to know if Michael

actually would eat... If Michael would eat fast food and actually hate it. Like, I just want something with a low score. Does this make any sense? Makes sense to me. Makes sense to the way I do the show. Well, that'll do it.

See ya. Slime duck. All right.