100% Eat - Are you Overfeeted and Toevrloaded? %% Firehouse Subs French Dip

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

Our Heroes head back to Firehouse to see if they get the firehose again. This place is filled with smoke and Jordan is not thrilled. Where does this place even rank? Is this place worse than Jimmy Johns? Are you trying to overclock the webbing Sauce Monkey style? It's all better than this sandwich, that's for sure. Grab a hoodie and a shirt because so cold out brrr https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Sponsored by ExpressVPN. Get up to 4 extra months FREE at ExpressVPN.com/percent Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get no frills, delivered. Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $2.50 a month. Learn more at pceexpress.ca. When you're flying Emirates business class, sipping your favorite cocktail at our onboard lounge, you'll see that your vacation isn't really over

until your flight is over. Fly Emirates, fly better. Look at him dancing. He's loving it. Welcome to 100% Eat the show where Nick dances and we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host, Jordan Swerin, how are you on this fine, fine day? We're letting them-dilicious high-quality foods. We're letting them know if they need it.

It's our curse. It's hard to wait to the end to find out because we don't give any hints along the way. Don't put the time in. the comments. We're not going to tell you. The twists and turns on this one. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. So much flavor. Where? Almost not enough. Flavor Town. Call Guy Friieri. See, now we've turned. Now we've turned the other way.

They don't know which way it's going to go. Guy Fieri. Guys, we went back to the firehouse subs. Yeah, we did. George's getting right to it. There was no poop hose this time. No poopos. We should have brought our own.

Should have brought our own. Michael, we kept saying, I can get one, I can get one. I can make one. And we were like, no, it's fine because I'm sure they'll have this there. They have it. Like, you just got to ask for it if it's not out. We said, Michael, surely the shithos will be there, and that will be the dominating smell of the whole restaurant,

and there won't be another smell that Jordan's going to hate the whole fucking time. It's entirely possible. It's entirely possible. Last time we were there, that that onion smell, that permeated the whole restaurant was there and was just overpowered by the fecal matter. or grease yeah yeah the yeah the grease yeah okay grease that comes out of your ass every morning after a good cup of coffee is that is that what greasy is that what your parents made

you call it yeah and say poop in your house are you making grease in there oh don't worry about him he's just making grease he's going he's going he peep he's making grease he's going he's going Eep, Eap. Is that I mean you're shitting yourself in your sleep? Epe, eep. It's almost monkey sound. That's pretty good. He was barking earlier. He was.

He's rid of birds apart. About this bird he killed. Yeah. So how do we get to the bottom of this? I don't know. What? A bird was torn to shreds. Smythereens.

I can't figure it out because there's no bone or carcass? No. Feathers. It is feathers. It is feather's everywhere. And big ass feathers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just scattered right outside her front door.

Like a murder took place literally on the doormat. And we all went, huh. And it'll be there until the wind takes it. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, I'm touching some disgusting, Gracie said they're disgusting. Yeah. Gracie didn't like them when they were alive and flying in the air.

Oh, Gracie would not have used the front door if she saw that bird. No. No. What was left of it. No. But what's funny is that. Trampoline to the second story window. We have a camera on the.

on the front door. That's right. Yeah, so we're watching you. Yep. But what's funny is that like every now and then I'll check to see the feed and everything. And there's a bird that hangs out like in view. It likes to perch on the light and its little tail. Yeah.

It used to. And there's also a cat that walks by our house and walks down the sidewalk. There's also a monkey that comes into this place. And he's got some pretty, is there a missed connection? Most curious, if you look at the feed, it's Nick walks in. Uh-huh. and then 15 minutes later I walk up and I look at

I see it I'm like what is going on here That's not what you said earlier No no it was okay Because he walked in It was like what happened to this bird But it sounded like he was chewing when he said I heard a crotch

I If that was there when I got here Completely missed it I must have been on my phone As I walked in or something I didn't see it But he definitely came in screeching about it I kept saying

yum yum he's licking his lips the whole time he kept he was like sucking his fingers cartoon style he came upstairs he's like what are you doing i was like downloading yakuza i just started playing it he's like yeah you play arc raiders yet i'm like i bought i haven't played it yet you're right we should get an xbox and he said yes he said you need birds lately and then eric got here he keeps saying bird box bird box and then eric got here and i was like let me tell you why we're getting an xbox and it was like cool and i was like good three against one even if jordan doesn't We can make something as it. But then I said, oh, wait, we're

coming with roles. Who would you say is the company treasurer? And he goes, well, Jordan. I was like, fuck! But don't worry, I pull the fast one. I used his own card. Jordan went, how did I buy an X-Bot? What? Don't worry, that won't show up for a couple days. Hey, because of the Black Friday

sale, it's down to normal price. Yeah. Do you know about this? They did the old where it's like they put the new sticker on it. And it's like more money lower down to the original price. Right, well, no. Classic move.

Well, but it has, I guess it went up, though, because the tariffs and shit. I didn't even notice this because I have all consoles. Yeah, how about that? They raised the prices of consoles. Yeah, it went up 50 bucks. But why Xbox? Is that not made here?

Fuck, no, it's not. The chips? Probably not the chips. It's like the only American made console. They said that, I think, 50 bucks. I think it was like RAM and stuff is like, oh yeah, there's all like this demand.

Okay. But even if Microsoft can't. But even if it's American made, surely they have to, like import parts. Yeah, and also they're looking to make the most money possible as a business. So we were talking about this. We should do that.

We were talking about this earlier. I hadn't thought about that. We don't. I think about getting the food and eating the food. I don't know if you've been looking at the credit cards, Jordan just spent $600.000. Jordan! I don't know what it was. Is that really how much an Xbox?

Yes. It's insane. Yes. Series X. And it was cheaper because it's Black Friday, so they just lower the price some. Yeah. Fucking crazy. Dude, we've come a long way from the Xbox 360.

I'll tell you that much. 20 years, man. We were talking about it earlier. It is crazy, though. The best console I was saying. Because that is insanely expensive. But also, I've been watching fuck tons that's just like game ranks videos.

Yeah. For like the last several weeks. But I need a lot of game magazines. One of the, it's true. And I want to get in on that action. One of them was them talking about like these old, like, Nintendo Atari era consoles of like the early 80s, maybe even before Nintendo.

But it's like the shit retailed at like $200 or like $300. Oh, yeah. Which is like, It's like $700. Yes. Yeah. And so it's like, damn, that started here. It's a lot of money to play Paul.

And it slowly went back up again. Well, remember, like, console games for SNES, some were like 70 bucks. And that was in the mid-90s. That's a lot for my grandma to pay. Exactly. Although, were they retailing that much? Some of them were. At not Funkolin?

Yeah. Yeah, some of them were. Like, Toys R Us, you watch like, you look at old Toys R Us ads and some of them were, like, way up there. Like, I remember my gaming prime as like a pre-teen and teen, they were like 50. Yes. Yeah. Gen 6, was it? I think Xbox 360s generation 7.

So I just remember like PS2, finally when I was buying games as a kid and had to save money and I get like one game or a couple months, there were 50 bucks and then I had greatest hits. That's why I had so many PS2 games. There you go.

20 bucks, you see that red spine? Yeah, the 20 bucks. The best. They just go right to that section. There were so many games I only played because they were out like two years. We were talking about that earlier where it's like,

Even still, like backlog stuff of games is still like, that fucking rocks. When you have a backlog of stuff and you're like, I'll get to it later, I'll get to it later. I have 20 years of backlog. Exactly. When you have those backlog games, that's great because, oh, okay, get them for cheaper, whatever. But like, man, when you get through the backlog and then you go, what's next? What's next to my PS5? Uh-oh.

Oh. I think I've said it before, but I think maybe the worst console I've owned is PS5. I'm so disappointed in it. like so outright disappointed I have one too I have no I'm not I'm not pointed in any way I need it

so I can play games that I'm never gonna play games are just not these games are not coming out I'm with you still haven't played God of War there you go Ragnar

which is like the whole reason to own a PS fire yeah it's like why I got it we were talking I think that's why I got it it's really fun we're talking about it earlier it's just the game

I'm never gonna have time to play that's why I started playing God's Oden I want to play games I love him I love him oh We were talking about it earlier

that GamePass, I think, is going to be the thing that, you know, in 10 years or whatever we look back at and we're like, what a detriment to gaming or whatever. I don't care. Hey, yeah. How about 100 years? Yeah. Oh!

We look back on it 100 years. Uh-huh. We're going to be like, what a detriment it was to gaming, whatever. I don't make money off video games, so it doesn't matter to me. Why don't you? I mean, I feel like if something is good for the... Crazy, I know. Good for the consumer should be good for everyone.

Yeah, but it's... but it's not and they keep raising the price on it it's like you can see where like that point is where it's like oh we really figured it out and now you're fucked man they really uh put the pressure on um raising prices on like cable subscriptions yeah like i just bounced back and forth between youtube tv and and hulu live i just signed up for hbo yesterday youtube tv raised its prices and i was like that's too expensive and i went to hulu and then they raised their prices I go, I'm going back to YouTube TV. YouTube TV feels like a scam to me

because it just feels like what YouTube used to be and now they're like charging you for it. You used to watch live TV on YouTube? No, no, I guess, but the Wild West of YouTube. Yeah, it's the, before Google bought it. The ad, like no ads, whatever it is, all this stuff. You're talking about like YouTube premium?

Yeah, is that know what YouTube TV is? YouTube TV is just cable. Yeah, YouTube TV is TV. Yeah, it's television. Is that what you guys have? You know what I bought. Oh, I thought you were just talking about like premium YouTube. You know what?

You know, I have YouTube. How could I watch sports on that? I don't know. I thought that's what it was. You know, I have YouTube premium, which used to be called YouTube Red. Yeah.

Oh, that's what that is. Yeah. Got it. No ads. Whatever. I watch that much. And so I can fucking turn my phone off.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That is. That's literally why I have it. Because I want to turn into like an audio device. I want to listen to shit like throughout the day. If I'm not listening to podcasts, it's like shit like game ranks or whatever shit I'm listening to on YouTube. You don't have to watch.

And it's just like, bro, I need to close my phone. Yeah. I hear that. I'll tell you one thing. That's insane that that's a feature you have to pay for. I've never, that could be free. I've always been okay with like just dealing with the ads on YouTube.

But they've gotten longer and less skippable. Way less skippable. I don't, I don't mind ads if I'm like watching a specific video. Yeah. But if I'm just like listening as a podcast, fuck that. Then I'm going to hit like a million ads.

And I'm not looking at my phone so I can't even skip ad. A lot of times my phone is like in the other room. Defunkland just dropped a four hour. Dude, I saw that. I haven't watched it yet. Crazy. I'm um it's part two of an animatronics video which the first part was Freddy's two comes out soon was an hour in 50 minutes um but uh luckily it's in chapters it's very like consumable so like I'm just taking it a chapter a day otherwise the thing with YouTube ads but when the video is long like that my point was like they play longer ads yeah that you can't skip so it's like a minute of ads it really sucks instead of like waiting 10 seconds but I will say I do feel like I'm at least helping to support friend like I listen to the podcast called

Deadlock Podcasts that a friend does and that's when YouTube ads come up there Johnny okay yeah John blood for a second no no John blood you said oh Johnny yeah I what do you call him John or John blood that's a young blood that's a different person

yeah young blood different guy but like with that podcast the ad comes up I go all right I mean like there's revenue here yeah I'm trying to help because I'm not not paying otherwise sorry bud but you know it is what it is And it sucks when I want to watch a recipe video very quick. And I just go, God damn it.

And then you watch one, two, three, four, or five, skip. That is how to fold fitted sheets. Oh. That I use, rolled up in a ball. That I use all the time. You put that in the video. Somebody clip that out. That's a video.

I have to watch it. I have to watch short. I have to watch an ad that's just as long as the video. Crazy. That's crazy. That is nuts. And I know, just screen record the video. Yeah.

You know what sucks You can't screen record Like YouTube TV Oh really? They know you're trying to do it crazy Can't take a screenshot Yeah They have like

Anti-piracy Like that annoys me That annoys me that you can't do it on Netflix and shit Which I get it But I'm just like It's usually like a clip I want to send to someone I just want to show a screenshot

I'm paying for Oh but now what you can do is I at least on your phone You can make clips on Netflix Oh really Oh really But I assume they have to be like logged into a Netflix account

and then it basically basically it doesn't it doesn't create an actual clip it just takes you to that part it's time stamp yeah yeah yeah damn it's almost convenient because again there's so many times I just want to record something real quick for 30 seconds

and I'm like fuck you Netflix I'm bar I pay for it I pay for it let me scream record 30 seconds for fuck sake it's still fucked up trying to text someone a TikTok and it's like hey let me watch this oh it takes me to a webpage hey do you want to open the store no I want them to watch the TikTok and then you're in the store and it's like, okay, you're in the store

open. That's like, no, okay. It's such a crapshoot too. It'll either populate or it works or it doesn't and you don't know how to make it do one way or the other. It's like anytime I look something up, usually like gaming shit and like a lot of times it'll be either web search but a lot of times at least to Reddit. Anytime it goes to Facebook, I'm like, that's worthless to me. Yeah, what's that I click it? It's like, oh, here's

I don't have the Facebook app and it's like it opens a web page and it looks like from 2002. Do you want to log in with Google? No, I just want to know. Are you on a presser? I just want to know You want to go into the mobile lab? What the fuck? Yeah. I just need to know where this last Easter rig is. How do I upgrade my weapons in chapter four of Yaku?

Where do I find the cat bed to upgrade the rooster? God damn it. Well, we're going to find out when we get that Xbox Series X so we can do 100% eat art graders content. Is it getting mailed here or? No, no, no, I didn't want to mail it here. He was out loud. He was going, do I do you mail it?

I shouldn't mail it here. If it said it was going to be delivered in the AM, I would have, done it because we're going to be here tomorrow, but it did not, which means it'll be 10 p.m. Yep. We're doing back-to-back episodes, just so you guys know when we record. I do know. When you see next week's episode, look at them. Don't look at us. Look at them.

You're talking to that. When we have next week's episode, just know we record it tomorrow. What? I'm looking at you in the screen, so it looks like you're still talking to me. Oh. No, you have to look at the camera. Right, but I'm looking at you on the screen. Don't look at me and you're looking at me.

Yeah, but the camera's the TV. So you're looking at him as he's looking at the TV. you know how you solve this problem only stare at yourself and then you're good I looked at Michael to see him

no yourself not myself I'm looking at Nick Michael look at Nick now I'm looking at Fiona there she is oh now now I'm looking at cinema

Yoss black queen I'm looking at this one the hat now Fiona hey you know we're having fun, should we should we just like Gracie's whistle isn't fucking wet

Should we just throw out the facts? Dude, no. No! Throw out the format for this one. Gracie, we were kicked that back to me. We were talking about it on the car right back. Such is the way. Every single time we ever do a Gracie episode, the next one is like a recap

brief and think about what happened. It's a post-mortem It is. Because we're too close to it when the episode's over. And then the next time we see each other, it's just going Remember Gracie? That's fucking crazy, right? I like to follow up with the audience because I don't usually the episode isn't out yet

or it's very close to like coming out but not quite out when we're recording again so it's not like I never like read the comments and then talk about shit they say I talk about what I think was like the craziest gracey thing or the thing that was nuts or whatever and it's fun because then I get to see if the audience agrees or not

because they've already watched it. Yes. Then they see our post-mortem and it's like they're like I thought the same thing but she did that that was crazy. A lot of the comments. What do you guys what do you guys think people thought when they saw you? It's really, really good. She actually didn't say it.

Yeah. No, she didn't say that. No, no, she got too busy thinking about Inception. I don't know if thinking is what she was doing. She was talking about it. I've seen it in a year. A year! A year!

What's the last time you've seen Inception? Recently, because it was like an anniversary in theaters and I would say that had to be three, four years ago. Exactly. Like, that's recent to me for a movie that's that old.

Yeah. I would say within the last few years is not that long ago. She goes, I haven't seen it forever. I haven't seen since last year. Yeah. You've seen it sooner than I have.

You saw it this year? Yeah, my wife was like, let's watch it. Wow! She was! Yeah! Whoa! Did you give her the OJew? Whoa!

Someone asked for that right at the end of the signing we did on streaming. Oh, right as we ended, someone was like, can we get a woe in the way out, but we already ended. So if you're watching,

this, which I gotta be honest, if you're watching the stream-ly signing, you better be watching this. Yeah, that would be great. You know, it's like, I don't really like the podcast. I don't watch a podcast, but I'll watch their signing. They're hanging out? There were a lot of people who showed up at the stream and were like, what is this? Yeah, it was fun. Listen, listen, yeah, I think because they didn't know what

that was. Hopefully they do with a podcast. And see what you pull in. You know what I mean? If you're that person, whoa. Yeah. Hey, and before we get to the food and the facts and everything, we're going to slice one of your nipples off. Finally. A piece of pepperoni. Yeah. We had a 100% eat fan who went through a traumatic experience.

Posted about it on our Discord. Yeah, that was a hell of a song for me. Yeah. What was the daydreamer? Yeah, Daydreamer O2. Bro, that is a gnarly wreck. So had a, had a little bit of a carcurfuffle. A slight mishap.

They were wearing, by the way, you agree to give all your stories to us. Yeah. You're welcome. Also, they're fine. Yeah. He's fine. So Carcuffle. Lost their hat in a lake?

It was the 100% eat the crowd. They mentioned that. The ex hat with like the mascots. We weren't sure if it was in the in the pond. So he said, he posted the pictures. It was like, I just got a car crash. But I lost my hat. Does anyone know if I can get, can get another one?

Uh-huh. And so we reached out. But he posted the pictures. Yeah. And at first I wanted to make sure he was okay. And he said, it looks like a car that everyone would be dead in. Yeah. It was, it was not good.

The story is that a deer came out. out in the road and he swerved to avoid it, which you're not supposed to do. You're supposed to hand here. And you're not good either. And barrel rolled a few times. Do barrel roll. But he landed like in a field next to a pond.

And so after I... After I confirmed he was okay, I was like, did you check the pond though? Like maybe it's in the pond. But then he said, don't worry, I have a friend who's going to go check. Yeah. Tomorrow's like, do not make your friend. Do not go make your friend go check. He survived. He survived the car accident, but his friend died.

looking for the $20 to $5 hat. So Jordan ReShatt was like, hey, we're going to send you a hat. We're going to hook you up with a hat. We're going to send you a hat. Hell yeah. And then. Today he went back. Went back and went, guys, I found it.

I found the hat and it's covered in moss. It is, it looks wet and fucked. I also got in there yesterday. I was in the Discord. I think it was yesterday. Yeah. But then I started making problems. that we'll give, we'll give people merch if they wreck.

It's true. And I was like, I was like our new, our new thing here is the hat. Went south, yeah, yep, yep. But we are sending him a new hat. So, it's got to get a new hat at least. We can't do anything about the car. No. And we won't do anything about the car.

That's our promise to you. We're not going to do shit. You're on your own. Yeah. Yeah. But, glad you're okay. Thanks for listening. Just a wacky story.

Crazy. Crazy. Almost lost the subscriber. Whoa. That's our bottom line. But almost gained a listener. I feel like though listeners, that's good. Listeners are less valuable though in a post-Grewskeith era.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. Because we need you alive and giving us your money. Unless you want to like leave it like to your estate. Put it in your world. Yeah. Put in your will. Keep my Patreon sub going. In perpetuity.

In perpetuity. Until the next 100 years. Because I know they're going to be around for that long. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. That's right. What do you guys think about firehouse subs in general? I don't like it. What? I don't like it. I think they suck. Don't really enjoy the smells

coming out of that place. Every time I go. It's extra shitty too because their whole thing, it's just like me by firemen. Yeah. Because I grew up with that, right? Like, again, I was involved in the first aid squad. That was across the street from the fire department in my town. And those fuckers cook and eat.

Yeah. Let me tell you. Anytime there was like, Dude, St. Patrick's Day, get out of here. It's like 80 pounds of, like, corned beef. And they just, like, cook. And it's a lot of good shit. Like, I'll be honest, a lot of them, very large men. They're just like, I made this. And it's like, that guy knows food.

Yeah, that guy knows food real good. And I love, and I love sub sandwiches. So their whole thing is like, firehouse. I'm like, I don't like these sandwiches. I've been there a couple times. Uh-huh. Just because it's usually like in the area thing. Because there's not, there's not like a ton, like, where I live in Austin.

And so I'd almost always stop by If I was like going to Flugerville for something Or like going up north You know there's that whole like Because that's where they start popping up There's that huge like Flugerville like shopping center area Where there's tons of restaurants that are like

Outside of Austin it's the closest thing Right there are all those chains Yeah and so like a couple times I've been driving back from somewhere And been like oh I'll just stop it and grab the sub sandwich And I've been disappointed every time And then we ate it here On the last time we ate it and it sucked

And I'm just like I don't like firehouse And so then when I found out we were going there today, I was like, this sucks. Yeah. Anyway, give me a medium. I'm not going to get a small, you're welcome. You don't go crazy. Nick gets all our halves.

You won't believe the review on this one, though. I said hours. You'll get our halves. But you all finished? No, I didn't. You ate the whole thing? I did. I didn't. All right.

This is why I do it, Nick. You ever see that? You ever see that Simpsons episode? I do it for him. Mm-hmm. Someone, Zan is already working on that Photoshop or he's just monkey pictures all over it. Yeah, I do it for him.

I make sure this, this man gets his fucking sweet. Do it for sauce. I'll stand up to Eric for you. Although I got to crouch down to do it. Got to go super low. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Why? What? Why does he have to go so low? Because he's short.

He's a short man. What did he, what did he write? Short man. Short man. Because he didn't want to write, he didn't write bitch. Which is funny. because again, I remember this was during the signing. Someone wanted Nick to sign Eric's print. And they're like, write whatever you want.

And he wrote, short man. And you correctly pointed out, like, he doesn't want to write bitch on it because you don't really know how they're going to take it. And I'm like, odds are they'll be fine with it. And they said write whatever. But some people will specifically be like, literally like minutes later, I found one of mine. And it was a guy saying him and his wife were fans

or it was like for his wife or something. he's like, can you write bitch mofucka on it? Because that's what we call each other all the time. And I'm like, that's what I'm talking about. Short man. Bitch mofucker. Well, anytime you say that, I always think of that sunny episode when it was like, who pooped. Oh, yeah.

It's like who shit on the floor. This is like an early one. Yeah. And it's Artemis being like the detective. And she goes with her Frank and we'll talk about something. She goes, that's a tall order for such a short man. It's all I ever think of this short man. He's small.

He's like right above like dwarf. Yes. He's like inches. He's just a short man. He's a very, very short man. Jordan, using the internet without ExpressVPN is like taking a call on a train or a bus on speaker for everyone to hear. Do you really want to share all that information with everyone on the train? Hey, here's the thing.

Michael's playing Yakuza and he didn't, he could not make it in time to do this. He's on the train. He's on the train. Well, there's a train mini game. game that he's doing that he has to make sure that he gets like the most points in and so when he's on the train he's like saying all this stuff out loud but that's like using express vpn well it's like not using express VPN with ExpressVPN we said we were going to do the ExpressVPN adding yeah uh I'm already experiencing it he said I'm already on the train and we didn't know

what that meant but now after the thought starter I know exactly what it means it's a great time to have ExpressVPN as a sponsor visit expressVPN.com slash person And get up to four extra months free. Hey, Jordan, can I tell you a secret? Right here on the train in front of everyone? Uh-huh. All right. I have ExpressVPN on my phone and I'm using it right now.

Whoa. Yeah. So your ISP can't see that you on the ad open? This ISP, my home ISP, whatever ISP I'm on, I don't need anyone with IS seeing what I'm doing. So with ExpressVPN, boom, I'm guarded. And, hey, it's easy. But this isn't even part of the talking point. I haven't even looked that far ahead.

It's easy because I'm not so smart. All I have to do is drag the little top part of my phone down and then I press the button and that's it. Just the button? Just press the button and it's like it's built into your phone. And then in the top right it says VPN for a second and I go, I'm on my VPN and that's it. And that's it's as easy as that.

And you feel so safe and secure. Yeah, absolutely. Here's the thing. I'm not even a guy who's super worried about security but knowing I have the protection, it's there. Michael, are you getting all this? I think he's still on the truck. Honestly, I think he's catching Sujiman now.

so I think he's given up on the train. Yeah, it's a lot. So why would I even need a VPN other than like being in the bus or whatever it was? Well, you don't even need, here's the thing. With your phone, you can connect everything on your network to the VPN and then you can tell it, hey, I'm in New York. And then everyone goes, oh, oh, I'm using the internet over here. That's because all my traffic flows through like my ISP servers.

And they're going to know every single website I visit. Right, but then they're legally allowed to sell that information. And they don't even know it's you because you're in new. New York over here. They're like, oh, this is Mom Donning. Yeah, that's right. And Zordon will stop them from ExpressVPN reroutes all 100% of your traffic. You can't do it.

Through secure encrypted servers. So your ISP can't see any of your browsing history. And Zordon will stop it. He will stop it as soon as it begins. So get it now. I really recommend it. I think that ExpressVPN is great. It's easy to use.

It hides your IP information. And it's its lowest price ever with plans starting at $3.49. a month. That's only 12 cents a day, Jordan. What a price to be protected. That's right. So secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com slash percent. Spell it. Spell it. E-X-P-R-Sv-V-P-N dot com slash P-E-R-C-E-N-T to find out how to get up to four extra months. ExpressVPN.com slash percent. Wow. Michael did you get all that? He's doing he's doing the cart racing, no. He's, you can do anything. He's doing anything but playing the game. Yeah, what the heck, man?

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been there twice counting today. These are facts. All right. Give me a game facts. Give me a fact. Here's a fact. Our last firehouse subs episode was on September 24, 2024 where we ate the captain's club. That's the average rating of 41. Nick, Nick was asking me, what did we eat last time we were here? And I went, I don't know. I don't remember how. I don't remember. Yeah.

It's probably just a club sandwich and probably a very thin club sandwich with bread. It feels like we had it, not like a boat, like fireman. Yeah. It feels like we ate there much more recently. But I think that's because we just went to Jimmy Johns. And they might as well be the same thing. Jimmy Jons is even worse. Jimmy Jones, I hate just on many principles.

Most of the cheese. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Like, not to mention. The big game hunting. Like they're, no, I love that. Their deli meats I don't really have a problem with.

It's their lack of cheese. Firehouse, they do it. They don't, they're not like a regular sub shop. Like their meat doesn't, like, a sub shop is like standard of, like, you got all your cold cuts. And obviously, like a nicer sub shop uses better quality meat. Like Jersey Mike certainly uses better quality ingredients than Subway. But Firehouse, I don't know what, I don't know. I'm also not a huge fan of everything's got to be hot.

I like a little. I get that. Yeah, nothing wrong with the cold subs. They're the standard. You want to have that's fine? With fire. It's true. They can't.

A lot of, a lot of, there's a big, a lot of marijuana in the restaurant. A lot of fire starters are people who failed to become firemen. Yep. They either are firemen or they tried to get in and they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, like, a lot of ICE officers are like people who couldn't be cops. Oh, I thought you were going to say illegal immigrants. You tied in plain sight?

Whoa. You get to wear a mask. That's right. Who's this guy? I don't know. Are you white? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's it. Those are the facts. No, that's the first one. Now it's the second one. Fact. They got to get that shit hose back through the middle of the restaurant. It's just not the same without it. And that's a fact. That is a fact. See, this is why I feel like it's not a fact. What do you mean? That's a fact. This sounds like an opinion. No, no, no. They got to get the shit hose back. It sounds like a request. They got it back. See? Bring back to shit hose.

If this first sentence is a question, Yeah. They got to get that shit hose back through the middle of the restaurant. Yeah. Think about it. Maybe? They didn't have it. It was so sad to see that there was no shit hose.

Yeah, replaced with onion. Replaced with onion and smoke. It was the haziest restaurant I've ever been in. It felt like back when you could go to a bar and smoke cigarettes. It was so hazy. If we had laser pointers in that restaurant, they would have been going crazy. They would look so cool. I would have pointed it right at a plane.

I would have pointed it right at a plane. I would have pointed it. Try and find me! I'm inside the fire house pointing a laser Those goddamn firemen are at it again This is pretty good They were kids where I grew up

Like they would get the Oh there's more Hold on Where they would get those big green lasers And point them up to like the news helicopter Oh yeah I remember that It was a huge problem

But they would always think There's no way they can see me They all they can see you so good But then you'll see the like the camera that is on those helicopters and it's just like it's like something's flashing look down, zoom in

zoom in and it's like framing them it's framing them up like I mean you've seen people run from the police right and they're like there's the guy they're just like and that isn't even like the best technology don't I know it's fucking crazy

they just like man hey we'll definitely get away with this oh yeah we're eight yeah okay next I'm gonna call 9 one and hang out. How could they

possibly know it was me? How? They'll never know. They'll, they'll, they have no idea. That's it. Nope. That's the end. Nope.

Oh, you want me to read the rest of it? Yeah, yeah, go to the third one, yeah. Okay. Earlier this year in Batavia, Ohio. Uh-huh. Earlier this year, a Batavia Ohio man was arrested and charged with voyeurism

after investigators say he hit a camera inside the bathroom of the firehouse subs where he worked. Police say that the man hid the camera in the changing table in the restroom but accidentally filmed himself doing it. What is up with this restaurant and bathroom stuff? This is like monkey with feet.

Like we get it, but can you please keep it to yourself? Please stop talking about it constantly and showing us pictures on your phone. We didn't buy the screen mirroring device to make it easier to show us, quote, the good stuff. Dude, please stop. It overheated. It overheated.

It overheated. It's weird that it overheated like three minutes, not even three minutes into... Yeah, it's like someone was you, you're going intensely sure. You know what it turned off and it said too many toes defective. Oh no, got to overloaded. It over-feated and toverloaded? Darden, fuck you, what are you doing? Nick, you said all this and he's mad.

Nick was over-clawed. No, that was too good. It's too good, stop! He kept saying he was trying to overclock the webbing between the toes. Stop, he's getting excited. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Those are the facts. Oh, there's two more.

There's two more. There's two more. Come on, Gracie. You can do it. Yeah. We're trying to avoid the facts, no way. no way. Why are we doing this? No! No!

So, no! So, mad. So mad about it. Absolutely furious. Jordan, I got here so early today, I watched him print these. He did. It's true. Oh, wow. Yeah, well, you got that printer now. I think this is the first time I've ever been here first. Because I went to the D&D and I was done so fast. It didn't make sense to go all the way back to my house because I would have 10 minutes and then turn back around.

But I had a, I had a two, 40 appointment to get a new license. My license expired on my birthday this year and I just forgot. I was just like, I literally I ordered alcohol to my house and they came delivered it and I handed my license like this expired. It was like August 2nd and I was

like, oh fuck! Oh shit! I just forgot. Looked it up and it was like two months or more. Actually I was like I better look it up. I think I waited a month. Then I looked. It was like two months to get a fucking appointment. Schedule it and then I forgot

the day of the appointment it was last Friday at 9 a.m. I was going about my business I was talking to Alfredo. We were about to start filming. I was like, all right, it's like 11 o'clock. Fuck, I miss my appointment. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Thank God I looked it up and there was another one

just like three days later. Hey, you got it done. I guess it was busy in the summer? I don't know. So I scheduled it for 240 today. I was out of there at like 259. Couldn't believe that. that.

George's pretending to wear a hat too. Everybody was doing it. There's one right there. Yeah, there's a red one up there. Oh, the orange one? No, it's the red one. You want to wear that red one.

No, you're already wearing that. Snoopy's brown? It's in between Snoopy's brown and the orange. Next to the piss mug. You would rather wear the piss mug. All right. Here comes another snoozer. In October, Firehouse Hubs invited the citizens of Amarillo

to quote, touch the truck, which is an event for the, quote, Amarillo community to experience a real fire truck and meet firefighters. Honestly, this might be the only times the citizens of Amarillo would be able to do something like this

while not having a loved on being resuscitated with Narcan on their front lawn at 3.15 a.m. after asking everyone at the bar for their ID, but they don't even work at the bar, Drew. Oh, that's... No, she owns it.

That sounds like you guys. She's like part owner or something. Or whatever the fuck she was saying. You must go to Amarillo and experience the woman. Dude, I was... I hate that woman I have like legitimate hate in my heart

for that woman it makes it easier because it's not someone I know yeah like it might actually like I wouldn't hate as much because it would impact my life too much but as a person I met one time and we'll never see again the rest of my life they irk me oh we can change that we can go back to Amarlo I'm sure we'll run into her very easily

I'm sure she's dead by now yeah for sure for sure they didn't barrier anywhere she got resuscitated with Narcan on her front of her They threw her out in the fucking car pit Where did the fucking car They drop one of those cars on her

Fuck, Bibin Well, they spray-painted her pink And they just stuck her in the ground Cadillac Ranch Oh man It means Bibin What did he ever do to you? That's where all the kids thought Jordan was

Mr. Beast. Is that Mr. Beast? It's me. I didn't know what Mr. Beasts looked like at that time. I didn't either. Had no idea. I thought they were talking about the monkey.

They got to get those, show them those big, big teeth. Show him those big, huge Turkish team. I think Jordan's a better looking man than Mr. I agree with that, 100%. Wow. All right, he was a little too excited to say that. That's what I've been telling everyone.

I keep saying, look at my friend, he's good-looking, right? How do you feel about this guy? He's like, hot Mr. Beast. Look, this is Mr. Beast, and this is hot Mr. Beast. If you trade hotness for money. Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry, man. Yeah, I'm dirt poor.

Well, genuinely, thank you, Michael. Eric, I have nothing to say. I like that it's called. My phone's going to overheat, too. I do like that it's called Touch the truck Yeah Who it's like

Oh dude They're advertising to like The freaks in Amarillo Like would you like to see a big truck? Dude again that was the craziest part Is not only Not only touch it This is an event

For the Amarola City To experience a real fire truck Like I'm saying these fake ones Like but also You'd not just like see one Right I'd never seen a fire truck

They probably don't have a fire department In Amarillo Yeah they probably don't have one They got one, and it's the next town over. There should be something catches on fire. There should be some sort of standing rule or code in Emerilow where like if it's on fire, just let it move.

Just leave it. Let it burn and pray it burns the whole city. I mean, half the place was shut down buildings. No fucking kidding. It's like old tire factories. Yeah. Let them burn just suck in the leather. The rubber.

All right. The final fact. Gracie, it's almost over. Yep. You know she's watching. She knows where it comes out Continuing their Veterans Day tradition Firehouse subs offered any veteran or active duty

military member presenting a valid ID The ability to purchase her sub And receive another free of charge in store only Quote for many A sandwich shared with a friend or family member At Firehouse Subs welcomes a moment of reflection A small token of thanks for sacrifices Often invisible to the wider public

End quote Wow really making it worth risking your life Who needs the VA? You've got F.S. Firehouse subs. Also, maybe a disease from combat. We're sorry. I like the brackets within brackets. Yeah, yeah.

Parentheses, Firehouse, subs, parentheses. Also, maybe a disease from combat. Pertheses, we're sorry. Parentheses, parentheses, parentheses. Yeah, he really went for it. The idea that it's buy one, get one free, in store only, present your valid ID on Veterans Day is just like, keep jumping through hoops, soldier. And I'm proud to be.

Well, it's parentheses inside a bracket. Inside, what's the squiggly one called? I don't know. Because he threw that, too. Yeah, the bracket and it's parentheses on the outside. Brackets in the middle and then squiggles in the center. Oh, yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. They look stupid, but then you need them to fix shit. Yeah. Yeah. You need them. That way, because when you get so deep. This is how the coding works.

Yeah. I think you just programmed something. Yeah, was hacking the matrix. I think he just wanted to be a stupid asshole. I love that. And the joke is, the joke is, he didn't have to do anything to achieve that. There you go.

What I had to do is show up. Waga, walka, take it back. All he'd do was wake up. Whoa. The idea that Veterans Day is a celebrated, wow, this is our continued tradition. Just give them a free one. And this is where you have a moment of reflection

over a sandwich at Firehouse subs. Yeah, I was waiting for them to mention 9-11. I don't know why. It feels close. It was on the tip of their tongue. I'm really glad I served this country as the, shit hose uh pumps out all the sewage out of the firehouse subs really glad i put my life on the line there's nothing with firehouse but it's it's woe related whoa we saw Nathan drake together

yeah uncharted yeah i only remember because i remember they finally they showed no one north and i went troy baker in the in the audience i just remembered that you did that and then you went that's the guy who does the voice so loud I wanted to be in every man. Yeah. I wanted to be just like, was this what a normal, like, just Neanderthal who just, I can't even call it thinking and just like thought, mouth. That's the guy from the game!

Oh, because they showed the old luggage and there he is. It had naughty dog sticker on it. I went, that's the game. They made it. It's so, that movie is abysmal. It's the thing that you talk during the theater and you get thrown out or whatever, you know, especially Alamo to give you a warning.

That's, I wait for those moments because they, no one can possibly ever, not that they would, but like, that's a freebie. Yes. Because that's a normal thing normal people would do. They don't know I'm doing it to be obnoxious. Yep. I've sat next to people that say shit like that. Like, whoa, that's crazy.

Oh, did you know that? I was telling you guys about, I don't remember what movie I saw it, but I was sitting next oh, God, no, it was when we saw Craven. That's what it was. Oh, yeah, that's right. And then watch all the thing goes, just out Lucy Lou. Yeah. And then there was that one, it was like an Alamo month.

It was like showing all the different movies they were showing And it was like two men in drag And there's like an old ass movie Right And it gets to the very end And one guy goes to the other one I've told this before but he goes Dude he's like

That lady was a guy And then the other guy goes I think they were both guys And he was just like That commentary was going the whole movie Yeah There were times or they were just like awesome Like in the middle of crazy

That was the first time seeing a movie I think that is the first time They'd seen moving pictures That's who I'm embodying when I go that's in the games. Because those people are real. Fucking crazy. No one would ever believe it.

You know the silence shut the fuck up thing they put at the beginning at Draft House? The one with the lady who leaves the voicemail. Yeah. They used to not play that one forever.

Yeah. And you could only see it if you went to like a master pancake. Master pancake. They would always do that. But I think when we went to go see one battle after another, they played it before that movie.

Oh wow. Um, I don't think Michael saw it because he showed up after that. Right. After one? After. One battle after another. When they play the, uh, the voicemail. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The lady was like, um, I'll never be coming back to your theater. Yeah, when you, when you go see it at Master Pancake, everyone quotes it like the whole time. Yeah. It's very funny. Uh, it's a great voicemail. It's great. And I'm so glad they brought it back. Yeah.

I think they'll only do it for R-rated movies. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, um, they don't do that for SpongeBob? No, they didn't do for SpongeBob. No. SpongeBob Gracie just kept yelling, I want that hat.

Every hat that I want that hat. I want that hat and I want that hat. And I want to be a sponge. And also, why is no one laughing? Yeah. Yeah, she literally, she's like, they don't appreciate it. Nobody appreciates this art.

He says sponge boob and like, we don't laugh, but like the kids. Yeah, they're at the end of the road crack up. And Gracie goes, that's what they laugh at. Awesome. Yeah, they're eight. Yeah. Yeah, they love the shit.

Yeah. The new, the new movies coming out. I just got an email about from Alamo. Oh, Yeah, tickets are going on sale. Dude, I upgraded to All-In. Oh, shit. Alamo, all-in.

You did the second tier? Yeah, I had to email them. What does that get you? It's like food discounts, right? You get 10% off everything except for alcohol. Oh, cool. It's an extra 10 bucks. But you also don't have to pay the convenience fees for buying tickets online.

Oh, that's right there. It's like two bucks. Yeah, that makes up for it. So you only need to save, if you save $8. Yeah, 10% it's worth it. And if, dude, I take the kids. like it's like I want this candy I want of course I want this that of course so so I can't the only race is I want this hat I want that that's fine is Eric's paying like Nick like Nick knows

that's Eric's money yeah that's how the only thing that sucks because it makes sense is I paid for the X-Box if you upgrade if you upgrade to all in it has to upgrade all your tickets oh wow so I had I had my account was like 20 bucks and it's $19 for each addition of one so I had two extras so wow it makes them 30 So I just canceled one Okay To like offset it So now it's what

I think it's kind of the same price Yeah it's like I took off Yeah I took off like $19 but then added Two $10 And then you just take your favorite kid Yeah Well I let them fight Yeah

Finally Finally But damn Hey Jordan Huh Do you want to learn about the food Don't talk to him like that Tell me I'm handsome first

Looking good Mr. Beast Looking good and rich Come to my theme park opening in Saudi Arabia Yeah what the fuck We gotta go to that That's where all my fans live That's right That's it

All his fans are there Uh huh All right just in time for the holiday season Firehouse Subses bring back a fan favorite Indulge it A fan favorite indulgent menu item The French Dip Available now

This Hardy sandwich Hearty features Premium roast beef It tasted premium Carmelized onions Those weren't caramelized Melted Swiss cheese Swiss and provolone cheeses.

Whoa, two cheeses. Would you have guessed? No. Whatever that blob was, I didn't know it was two. It was gray. It was all gray. And Italian seasoning all served on a toasted garlic butter roll.

Is seasoning in quotations? I think Italian and seasonings. Italians in even bigger quotations. It's got braces on it. To take this decadent experience to the next level, the French dip is served with a side of steaming hot au jus sauce for dipping.

I don't think you can call that sauce. Also, that's what a French dip is. Keeping you warm and cozy all season long. This returning favorite will be available at all Firehouse Sub-Locations. Michael and Nick both drank it to see if it tasted like anything. Well, let's be clear.

Nick drank it. Nick drank it. And then I had to follow suit. Yeah. We didn't both decide this. He said something crazy and did it. And then I couldn't be left out. Yes. Yes. We had to know. Well, He keeps saying no, and then he's telling you the reason that he did it.

Right. Right. No. But I have it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What aren't you getting? We're going to learn about the bird that he can't destroy.

How's the weather down there? Yeah, how's the weather down there? Short boy. He was when you said it and he's going to grab it. It just, that's right. Me too. Is the weather different because you're so short? Yeah.

Cooler or warmer? Not. Well, you're closer. Not punching anything up, not adding. Yeah, that's right. Different. What is it? I wanted to know if the Aju had any taste or if the sandwich was absorbing.

But it's okay. We filmed it, and I'll put it out as a YouTube short later, because you have to see it because it's drinkable and they drank it. Well, yeah, it's a liquid. Of course, it's drinkable. Yeah. But we have our... But it's a potable.

We have our reviews. It's definitely not potable. We'll find out later. That's what they water launch with that one-potable. It's not good. It's a jeopardy category. Yes. Potent potable.

We have our review of Firehouse subs. We need to hear from you in a second. We call you review. Hit it, Gracie. Hit it, Nick. You review. Oh, wow. He did it.

That's fun. I want to. Now, no, when I want him to do, I want you to layer that over Gracie's. Oh, nice. Harmonizing. It's harmonized. You guys like the Beach Boys.

It made me pretty good. Just a, just a tiny. The Beables. The Beables. But it's for you. But it's for you. you. The shitty peatles.

Round, round, round, round. I get around. Listen to that. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's the sound that bird made when Nick was ripping it apart. No!

I like it. Nick's taking the high notes. He's like, Dib's on high notes. It was dead when I got here. That always, that always gets you all. Yeah. It was dead when I got here. Oh.

Not guilty. What's your alibi? Dead one I got here. That's what I say if I ever walk into the podcast and Eric started it before me. Yeah. Dead when I got here? Yeah. Think about it.

Think about it. Who wants to read the first one? I'll read the first one. Okay. This is James B. What do we think the B stands for? Bitch. Classic character James, bitch.

I was about to say, I'll be honest. Brain was like, bitch, obviously moved past it. I was about saying, buster. Yeah. And then he went, bitch. He's excited to say it, too. James bitch says, Yeah.

Never go here. Walked up to the door just to order subs to go. And the guy behind the counter saw me and started shaking his head. You've heard this before. Turn around and laugh. I won't reward bad behavior like this. And neither should anyone else. Okay.

I won't reward. First of all, you're not rewarding that man. He just works there. I think you did reward that man. He didn't have to do any work. Yeah, right? I don't think that's bad behavior. It's not shooting someone in solos and arcvaders.

Think about it. That's bad behavior. Don't shoot, don't shoot. No, you don't even say. Who's shooting me? Okay. It's assumed. It's a shooter.

You don't shoot. You're there to fight the robots and get the goods, okay? Not shoot each other. So I've heard. I've never played the game. But I have bought it and we did buy an Xbox. We're on our way. We're on our way.

All of us together. We're all on our way to sit on the Xbox? Together. Together. Okay, walked up to the door just to order subs And the guy behind the counter saw me Okay, so you were gonna order subs at the door? Yeah, right?

I don't know Does you mean the counter or the door? He must mean the counter I think he walked through the door I think he walked up to the door And I think he didn't get quite to the counter I think he met the eyes with a guy Who worked there and the guy went

Did he mention what time he got there? Do you think it was closing time? Oh, see, I took this less as It's closing time we won't serve you and more like Hey man You don't want this He's like saving him

You wouldn't believe there was just a hose in here Yeah he's like I don't think so because I don't think they care enough And I also don't think A person willing to walk into there Doesn't know that That's true It's like someone going to Burger King

And saying you don't want Burger King man Yes I do I'm at Burger King I'm well aware No one else is coming here unless you want it I know what this is I know where I am Yeah.

No, I just shut the fuck up and give me the needle. It's okay. You don't have to drug to your little bit like, hey man, you don't want this. Yeah. If we were in that situation, you don't want heroin, it's bad for you. I just sell it if we were in the situation. Yeah. If we were in that situation as the podcast and we walk up and they just go, no, you don't want this.

Yeah. I'd be happy. Yeah. I'd be happy to take that transaction. It's all we want for the show. Yeah. It's all we want. Yeah.

Anyway, this guy said don't order from here. So my, my best guess here. is like he got there real late and the guy was like sorry we're closed in which he probably also said that. He just shook his head. Is this for the one we went to? We don't know. No, there's a different one. We don't know. Bad behavior

like this. I won't reward bad behavior. Also, the employee was my son. I put him in time out. Our experience was so weird because we were the only people in the firehouse subs and ordered four of the same sandwich

and it took 30 minutes for them to make it. It took half an hour. Ever. This place was empty. I ate reek of onion. The guy in front of us ordered the same sandwich we did. Like microplastics. There was a guy who walked in right when we did. He ordered the same sandwich we did.

And he got it pretty quick. Well, they had one sitting around. Dude, they were just taking their fucking time. It's not even like, oh, I'm so pissed. It was just a thing of like, oh yeah, no, we didn't care. We didn't care. We had plenty of time. So weird.

It was plenty of time. It's the daytime. Yeah. And Gracie's not here. Uh-huh. I was fucking living on a-all-the-time. I was living on a cloud. It's just fine.

We're just sitting there going, huh, this is taking fucking forever. Yeah. It took forever. Yeah. To get sandwiches. For an empty sandwich show. Yeah, yeah. They just make sandwiches.

Mm-hmm. It's not like... They weren't understaffed. There were like four people. No, no. They were like three or four people. They were going for it. There were so many people.

Yeah. It was crazy. And they just kept shaking in their heads. Yep. that's for later he just slacked us an ad for us to read cool thanks man

I'm helping I'm not doing that uh all right tomorrow Michael can read the next one I didn't think he'd go for that but I'm with that yeah let's do it tomorrow yeah let's do it tomorrow all right this is from Marley M what do you think M stands for

Mitch I was gonna say and me all right here we go I don't know where this review's gonna go but let me tell you it starts two words great food period

but I thought Firehouse subs was known to be friendly Oh, here we go. Had a dead car battery after eating at Firehouse subs. Tried to ask an employee a question about finding a number two call. And he was very rude. Turned his back on me. We'll be going back to Thunder Clouds.

They have it all over Firehouse Subs in friendliness and hospitality. What? They have it all over? They have it all over Firehouse. They're just covering them in friendliness and hospitality. Dude. Firehouse sits in the cup chair and Thunder Coucher just all over. with the friendliness and hospitality and firehouse subs are just sitting there just showing mingus

I love that this is a one-star review that starts with great food great food period great food guy did not help my guy did not help me jump my car but not even that not even that that's where I thought it was going to go too right uh-huh jump the car and he wouldn't it was it was uh questioned about finding a number sir are you a fucking moron here is it moron Hey, I have a dead battery. What do I do? Help me. Help me.

Firehouse subs deploy you're my only hope. I'm making a sandwich? Like, not even I need a jump. Nope. Do you have a car? Do you have jumper cables? Nope. Help.

Do you have a number? Hi, what? Hi, my car battery is dead. What phone number do I call? Meanwhile, I don't know. Do you have AAA? Do you have a friend with a jumper cable? What is your question?

What do you, what do you, what do you, trying to do. What the fuck? Help, help. Mommy. The only way ThunderCloud has this all over them. All over them. If she did the same thing and ThunderCloud actually helped

because I feel like if you were to do that to a Thundercloud employee, they wouldn't even turn their back. They would just go everyone at Thunder Cloud. The prerequisite for Thunder Cloud is you have to be stoned to be working there. If you're not high, you're not higher. If you're not high, you're

I say goodbye. Try to ask an employee a question about finding a number to call. Yeah. Can you help me find a number? No. What? Can you go fuck yourself?

Stop being so rude. So let me get this straight. You are grown up enough to get in a vehicle and drive it here. But you need help finding a phone number. I don't know. Crazy. I'm with you.

I just like I can't even wrap my head around. And that's how, Like, they could have, like, you could go in and be a moron. This is your chance to rewrite the story. Yeah, right. You could say anything. You could just be like, hey, I asked for a thing and they were very rude. They stabbed me.

I tried to ask to help to know what number call and help my car go to sleep and wake up, and he's rude. Great food, one star. Great food, period. Do you want you to do the last one? I'll do the last one. He wants you to do it, Jordan. This is Fernando L. This is because he feels bad about not saying you were handsome earlier.

What's the L stand? for loser I knew it I knew it I was I mean of course I knew it it's like

second grade logic it's the first thing I thought of it's the first thing that like pop it's like it's like uh ink blots

yeah but it's not a thing I would ever say right because here's here's where I'm I'm a very very bad person

that's my instinct but I just don't do the things I think I can't control how my brain works but I can control what comes out and my actions. That's him not doing that.

My brain, like it or not, goes, loser. It's like, well, don't say that. That's crazy. Loser! Have you read these people? They're awful. Have I read these people? Have you read them? I've read them. I've lit them. I've eaten them.

Great food. Let's read Fernando Loser. Okay. I have eaten at other firehouse locations and I feel they are all quality. This review is intended for a single location in Lakewood. That's in the fancy part of town I walked in, took a brief

moment to remember which sandwich is my favorite. What? Then approached the order counter with no line in front of me. An older gentleman with what I believe was an accent. That or he was having a stroke.

Appeared to be the person who would receive my order. Is this an alien writing this? Receive is spelled wrong. Oh yeah. Reachive. Achieve my order Was giving some direction To some employees

I indicate that he had an accent For purposes of specificity Not to ridicule him in any way Oh my God I hate this person I waited for him to acknowledge me I'm a large framed And tall person so I'm quite sure

I was visible Just then someone else walks in the front door And the gentleman behind the counter Immediately strikes up a conversation takes this person's order and allows him to pay and continues to ignore my presence which was fine

I left I guess I did not know the secret code what please don't patronize such an establishment if customer service is this poor imagine how your food is handled I don't know that there's a correlation

so I have a theory that this guy's a ghost and he doesn't know he's a ghost oh no yeah he is a listener of this podcast he walked up the reason that he couldn't remember what his favorite sandwich was

because when he got into whatever accident kind of took him out. Later, I went to my anniversary dinner with my estranged wife who just signed the bill and said, see you next time. See you next Tuesday. Without saying one word to me. So what are the odds? First of all,

they didn't walk up to the counter. Or they went next and they said nothing because they were remembering what their favorite food was. I just find it there could be a one-off it could be a crazy thing or whatever you're describing this like it's getting served at a bar

which it's very whoever gets the bartender's attention are you an asshole are you not an asshole do they know you is the bartender swamped and they can't really keep track and people are cutting in front of you

that's not this situation no it's a long process right to order a sandwich so even if this didn't happen why at no point did you go I was here first yeah also

excuse me where did this happen where he was at the register to make an order and then another guy came in and ordered in front of him where would that happen he stood at the wrong side

of the counter there is literally order here start one side go to the other side one side of the register usually the register is the opposite side of where you order you order it's where you end up and where you pay it's where you end up and usually it's two different employees They get handed off

He is a ghost Or he was standing at the other end of a long counter Remembering what his favorite sandwich is But not ordering it Either this is an alien And I don't mean illegal alien I just mean an alien No just an alien man

He's a ghost or an alien Or this I don't know what the input was But this is what's been produced by chat GPT I don't know what the input was To get this response But this is just like I have eaten at other locations

And I feel they are all quality He has an accent. He has an accent. Also, no, hang on, hang on. No, no, not accent. With what I believe was an accent. With what I believe was an accent. What does that have to do with anything?

You're not sure about if he had an accent? If he said with what I believe was a blank accent. Because like, you know what the accent is? I think it may have been an accent. Everybody has an accent. Right. Right. Well, no, Americans don't.

Yeah, but again, he's pointing out. Speak English. Speak American. But again, he's pointing out. It's the default. No ridicule. That's why it's called English. No ridicule. English only USA.

English only USA. Yeah. Specificity. He had used the word. There's a $5 word. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. And brevity is the soul of wit. Yep.

And here was neither. He liked that. I don't know why. And this was. This must be the money. This was neither. No, no, it wasn't. But it was one star.

Also, that's enough to get it on this show. Yeah, God, you're right. Yeah, but again, he mentioned it and I said a person specific, but then you never went on. No, right. What, I'm being specific. What's funny, this is asking about,

this may sound strange now, but it's very important in the story, and it's going to come up later. Need I say more? Think about, yes. Absolutely. What sandwich? What sandwich?

Well, speaking of what sandwich? That's your review of Firehouse. We have our own review of Firehouse. Firehouse subs French dip. Jesus Christ. Firehouse subs French dip. I've never liked French dip, period, as like a thing. I don't really get it.

I don't get it. It's funny to me that there are two. Put sauce on the goddamn sandwich. The whole French dip thing I don't never got. You have soup, you have sandwich? I don't know. There's two restaurants in L.A. that are fighting each other to like claim victory over who invented the French dip.

Yep. Who cares? Who gives the shit? Who gives a fuck? This is a stupid-ass way to eat a sandwich. Mm-hmm. Also two restaurants in LA fighting over the French dip. Yeah. Yeah. Like they like- I think France. France one. Mm-hmm. You think so. And then it, uh, white flag, white flag, white flag. It was a, it's a, it's a wet sandwich. You dip the sandwich. It's not a wet sandwich. It's a dry, sandwich. You dip it wet style. Becomes wet, immediately wet.

It's so watery too, the Ojuwe. It was just water. It was just water. And it's flavor. Yeah, it did not taste anything. I don't really... It just makes your sandwich. Ever go for a French dip? Are they always that watery? No. No, I mean, I mean, it's straight up like...

Oju is pretty watery. It's watery. It is broth. That was water. It was brown water. Could it come from the poop hose? We don't know. Think about it.

That's what they're pumping in. That's right. They're pumping it out. We're sucking it down. Probably the most... Most flavorless? Sure, let's go with that. the least flavorful

sandwich I've ever eaten. The only thing on there is the garlic. The garlic butter roll. Like, that's the only flavor. The bread was good. Yes. It actually takes that. I agree to that.

For that being the only flavor, it tasted good. And not just flavor, but also, like, the bread was good. It was, like, soft and, like, it was like a good bread. The sandwich was gray, and I would describe the taste as gray. I agree. Yeah. It was a gray tasting sandwich. The sandwich was definitely open to interpretation.

it was definitely like, I don't know, you fill it in the place. It was like a tofu sandwich. A tofu sandwich, yeah. It had no flavor. It was very weird. All it did was delivered the texture of biting into a sandwich with no flavor. The texture of sandwich with the flavor of, I think, garlicy butter. Yeah, garlicky butter.

And then if you wanted it wet sometimes, you could dip it. It's like, you know, in The Matrix when, when Mouse is talking about, like, how do we know this taste like this? Yeah. It's just brain receptors. It's like if someone was told. what a sandwich was right but there's no flavor

or like real things and they made sandwich as described it was sandwich yes but it was shocking how it tasted like nothing it wasn't bad it wasn't like I don't like this taste it tasted like air and that's why I ate the whole thing

oh yeah it was it was a very simple I ate the whole thing it was I didn't like it shocking it tasted like nothing it tasted like nothing it tasted like we all had COVID. Yeah. And just goes,

are you tasting? But then we couldn't because it was butter roll. Right. You did taste the butter. Yep. Wasted calories, man. Wasted calories.

We got some protein. It's an interesting one because if something doesn't taste, is it bad? It's a bad sandwich. It doesn't taste bad. It doesn't taste bad. It's not bad.

But as I said, no taste for me is better than Firehouse taste. Right. I liked it more than the last thing we ate that sucked. Right. That's why I'm kind of thinking,

like, I think it's a middle of the road. I think it is too. It's, I think it is too. I agree with you. It doesn't taste like anything. It wasn't bad.

It should definitely taste. It should taste. When you get a sub sandwich, it should taste like, I'm not going to say like a sub, anything. More often. The cheese, the meat,

the sauce, the OJew, any, it's all, there were so many ingredients for it to taste like nothing. It doesn't make sense. Especially with four, how did they pull that off?

If it was like one thing, I could see. It's almost impressive that it doesn't taste like anything. Four mediums and it doesn't taste like anything. Four medium sandwiches like anything. Four medium sandwiches is like 55 bucks. What the fuck? Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

What's the point? Congratulations, Mr. President. He used to know about people. I hate the bird. It was me. He ripped in the shreds. He wanted to get some taste. That bird probably had more taste.

I guarantee you that. Now, it might have been bad, but I'm sure it tasted. It tasted. It tasted. I can't believe how this taste. tasted like nothing. It was like meaty air.

Is this the first time we've gone back to back episodes rating it the same thing? Yeah, let's see. Because we did change. 50s for both of us, I imagine. I'll do 50 with you. Here's my metric too.

It wasn't bad. Any other restaurant, this would be lower than that. What's that coming out to? Average score 50. But just going off of I know how much I don't like Firehouse, I know how much I believe this was a 41. It not tasting is better than the 41.

Yes. I do know that. It was going to be over 40. I was going to maybe go lower on the fact that they didn't taste, but I knew that the last one was bad and that this one is not worse than that because it didn't taste worse. So it puts us in an interesting... It also puts Firehouse in an interesting category for us to go,

we didn't taste your sandwich better than last time. That's not good. What an insult. That's not good. Oh, man. I was hungry. You know what, though? I like it.

I was hungry. and it wasn't bad. No, it was sandwich. Now I'm full. It was simply sandwich. But there's a lot of times I'm hungry and what we eat is vile as Eric would say,

vile. And then I'm mad because it's like it tastes bad and I feel bad. I don't feel bad. I don't feel like we ate greasy slop. I ate nothing that tastes like anything. I feel like I was hungry

and now I'm full. I eat some sort of Soiling green thing. Yes. Yes. That simply replenished my fullness. I'll be honest. I hope sorlent green tastes better than this.

If we're eating people, people better taste good. People better taste good. People better. People better to. Nick over there. He's eating sorely bird. No.

It's all burned. It's all bird. Let's get some other food. He didn't eat the feathers. Jesus Christ. Let's not get other food. Because I'm full. We just ate.

Taste those food. Plus, you get the other half of mine. Oh, yeah. Hey, go to 100% eat. Store for merch. You can also go to streamly.com slash 100%-eatheat for signed prints. Michael Jordan podcast to patreon.com

slash 100% eat. get a nice shot get a subscription to the Patreon hey gift a subscription to the Patreon Patreon.com

slash 100% eat slash gift give the gift of 100% eat this holiday season why not then everyone can catch up on all the stuff

that you missed I was gonna say how does it smell like it has taste it's just the bread it's the bread it tastes like the garlic

the garlic butter so gift to sub follow us at 100% eat did make a sandwich Twitter, Instagram, Blue Sky. And then also, if you want to send something to P-O-Box, we're going to have one more 100% treat

for the year. We'll have, be coming up soon. P-O-Box 1432-41, Austin, Texas, 78-1-4. P-O-Box 1-4-3-2-4-1-AX7-8-7-1-4. What an episode. Oh! And you had no drink left.

That almost never happens. Well, that's why I was like, okay with it. I know. What I'm saying? That almost never happens is why are you going to ruin it? I don't think it was going to, Make it. Rate subscribe and tell a friend of the show where you eat food and rate the food. Yeah. Bye-bye. Well, we ate the food. It didn't taste like anything, but he was like... So!

I gave a cup a hat. There you go. A hat? I got the red one. Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't put it on. No! Who do you hate? Who do you hate? What's your favorite color? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks. Thank you.