100% Eat - Biggest Fast Food Disaster %% Dairy Queen Sweet Chili Chicken Strips

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Our Heroes know that DQ is more than just ice cream, it's also chicken strips and sticky floors and no ice and not having the chicken strips. Wait what? Can we avoid disaster and maybe avoid this DQ FOREVER? Eric is pulling his hair out over this one, too bad he wasn't wearing a hat. Can I be in the photo too? Sponsored by HelloFresh. Thanks HelloFresh! Get 10 FREE meals and a free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com/PERCENT10FM Grab a hoodie and a shirt because its cool out now? https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's do it. Here we go, Michael. Yeah. Good job. Welcome to 100% Eat, the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, not Eric. It's Jordan Swares.

Jordan, how are you? The real co-host and not this little glob, this co-tail riding fiend. That's true. You talking about baby goo-goo? Yeah. All right. Baby goo-goo secures the food. Does it be made sure.

Little baby gum gum gum so hard 25 minutes I already forgot what it was Jordan I forgot what it was six seconds after I said it Did you say I just want to be sure 100% eat? Yeah Okay and that's four of us Yeah

Doing 100% eat Yeah Okay I just want to make sure I got our order right Okay We got a lot of 100% eat coming spicy too Okay Today, we partooketh in the Dairy Queen's sweet chili chicken strips. Or Choli.

I noticed that Rowan I got here. I mean, what's Choli? That's not right. Oh, see, that's outside the bounds of my scope. Yeah, he doesn't read the format. I do not read the format line. That's been trained out of them. Yeah.

So here's the thing about Dairy Queen. A great restaurant. You can always count on. They're on my fucking shit list. Little baby gum gum gum shit list. I'm over Dairy Queen for the show. I'm done with it. I was over Dairy Queen when in forever.

We've heard of Dairy Queen, what? Three times in the five years we've been in? Actually, I don't even go to say Dairy Queen sucks. It may or may not suck. I just don't give a shit about it. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I don't get the food there.

I ain't going there for their food. That's for dang sure. No. But we had to get the food there today. Unfortunately, we don't have that. We don't have that food. Oh, okay. Cool.

So the big sign. Right. The big sign that says you fucking have it. Yeah, the one, like, rotating behind the guy. He said it, like, he was making fun of me. It was like, oh, wait, we don't have that. And also, did it just come out or has it been out of the way? No, it's like, no, it's like, no, it's like new.

I thought maybe it was the thing or it was like, oh, it just started today. We haven't gotten it yet. The way he phrased it was just so like, how could you not know? Yeah, I don't understand. I mean, I knew. I knew. So we went to, like, it's a different dairy queen that we've been to before. I let all the Michaels know.

That information I'd not make it to you? I didn't know you needed it. I don't want to text after 9 p.m. We went to, this is a rare occurrence where we got outside of the city of Austin to go to a place. Just because I wanted to go to a different Dairy Queen. Yeah, hoping that everything would work out. Mistake number one. No shit.

Don't ever do that. The Dairy Queen that we went to is, I guess you could say, near a high school. And they... I'll be like, you know, within a couple mile radius. It's just not within a high school as in a... The sign you're about to... reference is similar to what I remember growing up of like a corner store. That's along

the way home where it's like we got a bunch of beating it kids coming in. It's a tiny store. Don't be coming in here with your backpack. You're just grabbing stuff or whatever. This is not that. No, this is a regular dairy queen and there's a piece of paper like this and it's printed and laminated. I take a picture of it. And it

just says like Maynor ISD students not allowed important notice. Important! No Maynor ISD students are allowed on the premises between the hours of Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., unless accompanied by an adult. To 4 p.m. 2. High school gets out at like 2.30. Yeah. For any inquiries, this is the part we never talked about. I didn't see this part.

For any inquiries, please contact the Mainer ISD police department. What? Thank you for your cooperation. They have a phone number. Let's call them. You want to call the police? You call them, yeah, call the police. How come why? Michael Jordan podcast. So they have this little laminated piece of paper. We don't have it like with that fucking face is about right.

Did you write that backwards? You did it such a good job. Hold that up again. He's getting really good at it. Look, that's good. Even the smiley face. He gave him a little like tongue. Yeah, it is the guy. The tongue never goes up like that in the middle though.

That was weird. Oh, that's tooth. Oh. He had one tooth. Here, another five. Yeah, okay. Not really. He's a very regular guy.

He was a very normal regular guy. You're talking about all freaky four eyes fuck! He was wearing a visor. Yeah. But it looked like with his hair and the visor, it looked like the fake, like wig visors with the guy Fiatty fucking, yeah, the same with spiky hair visor thing.

He kind of did, yeah. We ordered this chicken and he started screaming to the back about how much chicken we had to get. And it was not a lot of chicken. Four pieces. But fucking took a long time. It's the fucking Dairy Queen too. I would argue that.

They'd be probably more chicken than burgers, right? I would think, because it's like a kid thing. He just also kept making sure, he's like, and you want four of them. Yeah. You said four? Well, there's no. And then I made the mistake of asking for the blizzard.

And then Michael went, make that two. And Nick said, make that three. And he was like, three? This guy was falling every time. Every time there was a piece, this guy's fallen apart. It was, oh, brother. It was falling apart, Eric. Yeah.

Internally. Internally, we don't have that It was like, good thing we drove out to mayor Eric looked over and then we're like, okay, we'll get the spicy ones Yep, so we got, so they had regular and spicy So we got the spicy ones But Michael Wanted nachos and they weren't that good

They sucked Michael saved the day and put in like a door dash order At a different Dairy Queen To get them While we were at Dairy Queen Waiting for our food which took fucking forever It took a barrel of time. And then, if you watch the ride along this week, you can see Michael go,

let's wait two more minutes before we end this one, and then have the food, and they actually had it. They had it, so we ate it. So we actually had the sweet choli chicken strips. Moments ago, we had no choli. Yeah, no, now we're full of choli. Can I say that word? Yeah, is that cool?

And you got curds. I forgot. Oh, yeah, I didn't even try the curds. I forgot it. Culver's good or Dairy Queen good? Good for Dairy Queen. They're fine.

But you guys got the Blizzard of the month, which was Reese's and Oreo? Dude, the Reese's Oreo collaboration is reaching every corner of the world. This guy's freaking out over there. Good shit! Okay.

Nick couldn't believe the size of the small. They were pretty large. Yeah, they were pretty big. They were medium for sure. One, it was already kind of like yay big about like maybe like 75% of the height of this can that Michael has.

And then the ice cream was also over the top of it. But don't worry. He held them all upside down. Yeah. But they all had lids on. Well, he'd never be too sure. Right.

Yeah, yeah. If it's right. Well, listen. He's artists. Well, Jordan. Jordan, imagine if it's spilled and it got sticky everywhere. Is that why the floors

was sticking? The old failed. He kept turning shit over and going, oh, fuck. Oh, man. It is maybe the stickiest restaurant. In the history of the show, I think it's the stickiest restaurant.

we've ever been in that far, but it was very sticky. I mean, there's... I don't remember a stickyer. I can't remember another sticky. But I also don't remember a sticky restaurant. It's another thing to keep track of, I guess. Like, I remember a sticky Michael. Last time it was a sticky, fucking cinnamon buns. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The time before that. That's in there.

Fridays. Carnival menu. Oh, remember. Remember that? Oh, I mean, Josh me. I probably had 50 stickies in between those two. But that was that was a monumental sticky. Yeah. That came up again recently. That was terrible. Because Gracie was at a circus-themed like a work event thing I had pictures in my phone

you fucking brought it up Carlton from fresh prints I don't ever I know I know yeah I know they're like 400 by 300 pictures I can never because because the way Friday's logo is

like permanently it's got that like red and white stripe in it right anytime I ever see a Friday's I just think of the carnival now and that thing and I was just traveling this weekend and my layover I don't I remember if it was in Minneapolis or Dallas, but wherever I was.

Minidapolis. Minneapolis. I walked by Fridays and I was like, do, do, do, do, do, do it. Conditional, too. Yeah. We ever talked about that. You can talk about it.

That episode. Oh. Oh, right. Yeah. What are you? Got teary-eyed for a second. It was just like, did Carlton McDonald you? Do we talk about that?

Did you Ronald McDonald you? Okay. That was. Don't you dare. I think that was our first one back because we ate there. Yeah, it was. It's true. We broke all the rules.

We did. And we said that we weren't going to say, and we're like, oh, we're not going to tell us. We're just like, oh, we're not going to tell us. We just don't want to. And then people are going to say something, whatever. It was just people on the internet were going to be babies and a pain in the ass.

It was right around COVID time. But, but, like, stuff was open. It was easy. It was, it was opening COVID time. And we were desperate to, like, eat and record together somewhere.

And so we ate at. I think we were the only people there. We were the only people there. I still have pictures. I saw pictures on my phone from inside that restaurant and we kept going, shoot it really close so that way, like, it just looks like, oh, it can be like anywhere.

That was the first time we ate out in so long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I remember, yeah, again, it was truly, it was truly just to avoid people bitching and moaning for no reason. And we was like, it's just not fucking worth it. And so we just won't even mention it. And then I remember there was at least once or twice

in the episode. Someone said something to the effect of like, oh, remember da-da-da-da. And I just remember being like, Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, really? It was definitely a reference. It wasn't so overt,

but it was definitely something like, oh, and this was the da-da-da. And I went, did you do that online? Something like that. It was just that's some funny. The one I went to. I forgot about that.

Yeah, and that was the stickiest meal we've ever. It was just donuts and sugar. What else did we lie about? There goes our credibility. I think that's the only thing we've ever lied about. Was that the split episode? It was also the split episode? We recorded half in the lot and half at home?

No, I don't think so. I don't think it was that one. No, I think we were in the parking lot for that one, weren't we? Was that the one where I kept losing connection? And I was just looking at Michael and he was talking to me and just going, no, oh, I thought that was my connection was fucking up, wasn't it? Yeah, that's what it was. That was the one we recorded in like three parks, wasn't it? We were hearing you.

Yeah. And then I would look over and you're not talking. You were hearing him. You were like looking at me being like. And I'm like still hearing you talking. I go, what is going on? So we went to this Dairy Queen. We're over the Dairy Queen.

I don't ever want to do Dairy Queen again for this show just because they don't have the food. I know. If it all worked out, I don't know what the problem is. They didn't have it and the guy went, well, just because he gave you some attitude. Yeah, about. Let's go to a new Dairy Queen for no reason. Yeah, idiot. Go back to school.

You're starting to sound like, go back to school, Biggie Gumbcom. You sounded like a U reviewer. He was so rude to me. He wasn't. rude he was very point you didn't know we didn't have that high school's that way chump Nick is crowing about a

fucking HGB opening tomorrow He's going He's going crazy about it That's what Nick does he goes and hangs up at the HEB openings all over town God damn If you're just listening to this podcast

Michael got up and walked away Where you going I'm looking for shit I can't find it He's looking for something I don't know what he's looking for No no looking for his own ass We're back in Chicago.

Yeah. You put on a paper tie? We, so the Blizzard, not really part of this or whatever, but Oriole races combo. It happened serendipitously, and it turned out to be pretty good. Yeah. Oh, God. What is, oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, are you going to do, are you going to do this in the episode? Oh, my God. That's that easy. Now his skin can be skinned. Last time he did it was an audio only. Yeah, and you said it was cold. it, you could feel how cold it was or whatever. You're supposed to let it fall a little bit.

Is that one cold? Yeah. I just got it today. There's one somewhere else missing. I don't know where it is. It fell out of the car. Uh-oh. Don't worry.

Without insurance, it's only like $1,500. Oh. He was walking up the stairs. You get a $5 copay. He was walking up the stairs. The whole thing like this and he just went, yeah. Taltz. This is

what I use for my psoriasis. If you have psoriasis, don't ask me, Michael, should I use Taltz? What do you use? Go to your doctor. Right, yeah. It's a really good idea. Go to your dermatologist. It's like, but which one do you use? I use this one.

So should I get that one? That's not really how that works. There's like a thousand different brands. Oh, are they? Army chopper going by? What's going on? Oh, it's the lawnmower. Hey, is that an army chopper or is it a lawnmower? It's so fucking loud, dude.

Is that Jordan? Jordan, do you see an army chopper out there? It certainly wasn't a lawnmower. Was it a chopper or not? I don't know, I didn't see it. Don't maybe run outside. I wasn't able to look up. Maybe it was a chopper.

Like a pig, you couldn't look up. Why firearms over the highway? That's a dog. Watch out for shrapnel. It's a dog? No, you can't look up. Oh, I thought that was a dog making that noise. Weird dog.

Dude, this dog is sick. Mm-hmm. What's going on? The mailman's here. That's what he does. It's like a weird, like, demon dog from a different division. Our Good morning from hell episode came out.

Oh, yeah. Speaking of which, yeah. I listened to about 40 seconds of it. Pennywise and nickel smart. It is nickel smart. We keep saying nickel smarts. Which I think is better. I don't think it matters.

I think it matters a lot. Okay, it matters a lot. Penny wise and pound foolish. Now, Pennywise and nickel smarts. All right. Great. I thought it was good. Yeah.

The dynamic was definitely good It was apparently a rare episode where even Chris is able to get in Yeah, Clayton wasn't shitting on Chris Yeah, they got to be on like the same side Which like never happens But also You guys did that

Because we recorded a grudge night Audio Whoa, you don't know what that is. Royal We? No, I mean it's out by the time they're seeing this. Right, do you think they watched it? Yeah. I don't think so. What? Well, you can watch it now our YouTube channel, right?

It's true. Yeah. It's still there. What is it? Grudge Night was a show that we, everyone had individual parts and ours specifically was pitting Good Morning From Hell against Face Jam

in a video game contest thing and the show got canceled after we shot everything for it. So we took all that footage and now we have it and we got the first episode

Chris Robb some hard drives shit we have the first episode which is like the complete of our section of this thing I think that episode is like 99% yeah done it was it's like everything but like very like lot

so you're only seeing our segment yeah there were gonna be multiple there were gonna be other people doing other stuff with other games this is just the good part Yeah, and so we had a sign that says, forever, we've had a sign that says, it's a plaque, not a sign.

That says that we're the, the rooster teeth's, like, best podcast. Best podcast, like Grudge Night, whatever. It doesn't have our name on it. It's just like, whoever has it is the best. So I took it. It's like, uh, griff ball. Yeah, so I took it.

When the show got canceled, I took it. That's what I said. I was like, I'm pretty sure Eric just took it. So I just have it because we're the best podcast. But like, we watch that now on our YouTube channel. It was fun to do, but it was definitely a COVID production. Yeah, it was a nightmare. Yeah, speaking of like COVID times,

trying to do content. We did commentary on our four episodes. And they get less and less edited as you go. Oh, it's so funny. To watch it as we go. Episode three, it's coming off the rails, and four, it's just a fucking roadkill. See, we originally,

we were going to get together and just do commentary on that last one, because, like, it's so rough. There's nothing. You need someone to hold a whole, your hand. Yeah. There's a part where like something goes wrong. It's like half the episode. And we have to like do it and that's all

like it's like half of that episode is scripted setting something up for like nine minutes. Like we fuck something like the timer of the match ran out and like we didn't get to. Because it was like wrestling to do it again. It was like wrestling themed and that like the wins were scripted. Yes. Yeah. Right. And so we didn't get the result we needed. So we just have to play

the whole game over again. And it's like us talking to like broadcast and shit like It's a lot of us. It's like, Charles and, like, Nicholas and, yeah. But you can't hear, so it's us just being like, yeah, yeah, there's a point. So what are we doing then?

In commentary, Blaine's like this, like in, you know, we're watching it in a video like this. And Blaine's like, I'm getting notes right now. But we also ended up doing commentary on all of them. Yeah, I insisted. Yeah, it was a good idea. Yeah, I do think it ended up being better. But we're also going to put up the non-commentary episodes,

the first three anyway, on our Patreon. Yep. And it's also on Good Morning from Hell. So you'll be able to check out the other episodes on Good Morning from Hell and everything. I really recommend the one where Chris gets to pick the game. That's maybe my favorite. That's maybe my favorite premise. Yeah, it's maybe my favorite premise for like the whole thing.

Because it's so combative and competitive and like, not like at each other's throats, but it's very like pointed. And then Chris picks the game and it's Star Doe Valley. I don't know if Eric is differently with the other host or the other people playing and shit. Because you hosted the whole show with Jack. But it's not combative at all. except Clayton is like a little compatible. Chris wants to win and have a good time and not

get fucked to death by the devil or whatever. Whatever their storyline is. And Jordan and I dude, this is early in the face jam. This is like less than a year in the face jam. I'd say this is probably filmed in 2020. And so we're still finding the groove of it. The dynamic at the time was like Michael Slopman it's very much not just Michael Slopman

but it's very much like we don't give a shit about nothing. Which like we kind of still don't but we excitedly don't give a shit. You know where I'll be like Who knows what can happen? That was crazy. That's crazy. He came back at me.

But here it'd be like, I don't want to do that. So it's a lot of us doing that. And you're role-playing Orange Cassidy. So you're wearing sunglasses all the time going like, whatever. Chris picks Stardue Valley.

It helped with like doing a show that way where you're bantering, but like you're not in the same spot. And there's delay. Yeah. Having like a laid back kind of vibe was like kind of helpful for that. It was just funny because,

Erickson's like, we're gonna win, we're the best pagoda. I'm like, I don't fuck it. Yeah, there's at one point, it's, it's classic Eric getting mad where he's like, because someone's not letting him talk, but he starts doing that. And it's worse because the Discord delay, and I go, in the episode, I go, let the baby talk. And I like cackled my ass off watching it on the commentary. Eric, meanwhile, didn't stick around and went to go to the movies.

Well, battle after another man. Check it out. In theaters now. Yeah, pretty good. Watch the first 25 minutes, holding hands. Yeah, yeah. he's laughing anyway all that's more exciting than this yeah what do you mean what we mean what I just said oh I'm sorry I can feel the power coursing through me oh my god but yeah check out grudge night it's a lot of fun

check that out my scalp will be healed yeah it was uh grish night was definitely one that I I wish it would have come out and then I get it just didn't and then now we can and that's fine now we can nothing changed yeah well that's Chris just stole it and then you're an accomplice And I have deniability. Don't worry. They're selling Warner Brothers again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We can buy it.

We could buy it. Let's buy HBO Max. Well, I think that's part of Warner Brothers. Right, I just want HBO Max. Just that part. You only want that. I'm sick of pain for it. I'll get it.

That's cool. Pay for it once. Hey, Gracie. Hi. You've definitely heard us talking about Hello Fresh and the delicious meals they send us. Well, I mean, they send you also. Only all the time.

Yeah. Yeah, you've heard, she's heard of us. Right. Yeah, us. You know, all three of us, the three amigos, which is what they call us. There's four. Okay.

You don't include you. Hey, there's four people that live in this house. Okay. Well, they're the number one meal kit in America making home cooking easier with chef crafted recipes and fresh ingredients delivered straight to your door.

Right, Gracie? Our door. Yeah, that's our door. It's where we all live as are, again, the three of me guys. America's family of five. Yeah, but sometimes like blood isn't thicker than water. Is that right?

Yeah. But not this time. Why is he in this? Did you know, this fall, Hello Fresh is serving up even more to love because this isn't the Hello Fresh you remember is not? Is it worse?

Gracie's moving in because they're bigger, healthier and taste you. That's better. But Jordan, what do you mean by bigger? By bigger I mean Hello Fresh has doubled its menu. Wow. Which means more food for Gracie. And now you can choose from 100 options each week including new seasonal dishes

and recipes from around the world. Wow. But I've already been seeing you eat the chicken fajita tacos. and enjoying them so much that you guys go, yum, yum, yum, I ate these chicken feed of tacos. And now I'm digging into bigger portions that'll keep me and everyone and Gracie satisfied. And Nick

and then whatever falls off the table, Nick can have. Well, that's the... And Mingus. Whatever goes in the... Well, no, whatever falls out of Nick's mouth, Eric can then. Right, there you go. That's how the chain works. It's not much. Well, I mean, that sounds like, that sounds like it's bigger, but how, in what way, Jordan, is it healthier? It can't be healthier. It can't possibly be healthier.

It says here. It says here that Yeah. Wow. Yeah, you could feel great with an even healthier menu. Whoa. You choose from 15 plus high protein recipes each week with options like grass-fed rib-eyes or lamb chops. What? Hello Fresh Now helps you eat greener with new veggie packed recipes that have two or more veggies per dish.

So that's like if I got the creamy zucchini and tomato orzoto, which is the thing that you guys were telling me about when you kept saying orzoto. Yeah, they have that. They have that. Yeah. They do, it's true. Gracie was eating in the orzota. She was showing us. You know, it's bigger and healthier.

It's tastier than ever because you can get steak and seafood recipes delivered every week with no extra cost. We love this thing. Yeah. Wow. I'll take the steak. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, that's sort of. I'll take the seafood.

All right. Yeah. America's family. You can have the vegetables. The shrimps. That's, that's fun. Shrimms. I guess America's family of five truly is eating better than ever.

And we can't say enough how much we like Hello Fresh. and that's why the best way to cook just got better, go to hellofresh.com slash percent 10 FM now to get 10 free meals, that's the FM is, and a free breakfast for life. I eat breakfast every day, usually sometimes.

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backing of Amex. Conditions apply. Hey, do you guys want to learn about Dairy? No! Oh, man. I'd do it for him. Yeah, I know. I like it. He likes it.

You know, it makes it. Nicky likes it. We like it. Our last Dairy Queen episode was on December 3rd, 2023 where we ate the Dairy Queen holiday blizzards. Received an average rating with 27.5. So. I did mention.

Oh, my God. That was an episode that we recorded not together. I was sick. I was sick that day. We had to do it over Discord. I remember Michael got like the two of the same or like, or like he was split them up or something. My kids want them. One of your kids took it.

And I think I ended up eating like two of the same ones, but until I got to the review and realized it and I had to like go take it back from my kid. It doesn't really matter. They weren't that great. No, they, uh, you know, 27.5 is probably right. They were not great, but I think that was a gracey one also because there's a video of us, there's a video of us eating all the blizzards together. That was like the ride along.

Yeah, we just hung out and ate the blizzards together. It was like Gracie in her apartment. Yeah, we called it eat along and that was it. Man, recording. we really figured it out to get together but still record over like Discord or whatever to keep the show really like fun because then when we did that episode

just over Discord I remember going like this sucks Which is why we need to do another car episode That's why I said it Gracie wasn't there for those days She wasn't we didn't even do him But I still stand by my first recommendation No one wanted to do Before we did the cars parked facing each other

What I said was we should take turns doing it at someone's house and we all say we go to your house you record from your house you roll down the blinds you open the window and we all park in your driveway outside and then we we beep and you be in your house and we be outside and the next we go do my house

and the turn's house. People didn't like that idea then we started going to Walmart first we went to the office started to Walmart and there was that one time we went Cars Jr., we were down in the TGA Friday we went something it might have been no it wasn't TJ Fridays because we went in there wherever we were it was near Walmart

we've done too we did definitely did one in the parking lot. And then we did one. I just don't remember which one it was where I had to go into the Walmart take a shit. I was like, shit in my pants. Oh, I remember that. I kept the microphone on.

You were on the call. Dude, I was squirting. I think I was like, it's not COVID. The Dairy Queen Blizzards getting a 27 makes sense because as good as the Rhesus Oreos Blizzard was, I did point out that the worst part about it was the ice cream. Yeah, I mean, that's,

That's kind of what it is. Do it your way or something. Opened in 1950, the oldest dairy queen in the lone star state is still operating in Henderson, Texas, where they're serving up blizzards and steak fingers today. Henderson is also home to the last Pizza Hut buffet and where a man linked

to a triple murder investigation, shot himself in the head after crashing into a Bucky's gas station and injuring a pedestrian. So come on down to Henderson, where the only way out is by your own hand. Or your own steak fingers. That's right. My steak fingers on the trigger

That's right This sounds like the town This sounds like the town we went to On our road trip where we stopped And that guy Saw that we were filming I'm the mayor of this town Was that the place with the dog?

It was a dog It was a dog walking around It was Brady Texas I can't remember If that was the time There was just a dog I like trying to read There was a dog

The thing about Henderson I have a friend who's from there and that pizza up buffet he's been to and like when he goes back to visit family he'll go there or whatever Wow, he got excited. Yeah. It is still there. How far away is Henderson? Nick, look it up. It can't be more than a day's drive.

Yeah, that's a bad. That's a barrel, right? Well, if we go 100% eat, uh-huh, probably a couple hours. Yeah, if we go Roosterty to the production, four days. Four days to get to Henderson, Texas. We're going to stop. Four hours, it's not bad. That's a quick in and out. Yeah. That's a quick day. That's a quick eight hours of guys

The day's forward to the whole way there is Pizza Hut Lock it in though All we got to do is get that boardwalk piece And we'll drive there We go the RV If we get here's my Our mobile home

Here's my promise If we win that RV We will drive to Henderson If I win that RV I'll let you guys What We Right

Don't leave your children On attendance Don't leave my monkey On a monkey Find me quick Find me quick A Washington State man who set off a firework in his apartment, sparking a fire that evacuated dozens of residents,

surrendered to police after officers agreed to deliver him a meal from Dairy Queen. Elijah Reagan, 40, was armed with a shotgun and held it to his chest and chin during the standoff. At one point, accidentally discharging around through his car window. We suspect he was trying to take the Anderson way out and missed, but at least he surrendered for the worst meal in human history. He didn't even get the blizzard, by the way. The robot they used to deliver the food didn't have to. room to carry the blizzard over so he gave up for a deke burger and fries idiot he wanted

a burger a fries and a blizzard and they didn't give him the blizzard can't the robot just holding a train right they using like the bob squad yeah yeah him in a car having this gun and then going i eat back oh shit it blows out that's right that's right terry queen or another one Dairy Queen? Dairy Queen. That's crazy. That is great. Well, you know what?

He's setting himself up at the insanity defense. Yeah, exactly. He lit up. Your Honor, he ordered, dairy queen. He was not in his right state of mine. He didn't even get the blizzard. He didn't even get the blizzard.

He gave up for the burger and fries. You're free to go, sir. The jury all stand up. Not guilty. Lock him up. You and George Santos are free. He's, he, He lit it all started when he lit a firework in his apartment really escalated quickly

You know you went from oh my firework just went off to in your car I'm starting off I'll do it Get in my dairy queen the dairy queen or nothing Taking the Henderson way out is so fucking awesome Which direction is Henderson is that in northeast? Northeast okay far right oh that sucks Speaking of which... Don't get much further. Speaking of which, I don't understand.

How is this a segue? Legit weirdo and chronically online person, Candice Owens, has ignited controversy by suggesting that Tyler Robinson, the man charged with assassinating Charlie Kirk, may have been, quote-unquote, frame. Owens claims she received an image allegedly showing Robinson at a dairy queen

about 17 minutes after the fatal shooting. He looks calm, content even. You don't seem shaken after what they claim just happened. Something isn't right here, end quote. She said, also quote, You can't have someone shoot a man on a public campus and then casually sit down for a blizzard at Dairy Queen unless something is being staged.

You can't? Miss Owens, may we turn your attention to Elijah Robinson who almost Anderson who almost Anderson's himself then had a robot give him hamburger? Checkmate, you fool. We deserve a better class of conservative talking heads. Nick, put on that mask and hit him with a thinly failed dog whistle, baby. Come on, Nick!

And then put that a mag hat on. I mean, the Patriot. Go on, Nick. Hit him your new conservative icon. Nick, go ahead. He's working on it. Hang on, he's writing. And remember, his face is on camera. His face is on camera. I said put on the mask. I got it. I got it. Don't worry.

Okay, he's got it right here. Here it comes. Okay, here we go. And I ain't. I own to want to play. Oh, yes, Mr. Powers. I won't want to play with you. That's right, man. That's the dog whistle we were looking for. Okay, I don't know. He's old. He's holding it up like he changed something. No, he scribbled the D a little bit more.

Yeah, yeah. But he really should be with that double you again. He always struggles with the ones that are the same. How do I make this backwards? I don't want to play. I don't find it. I do not want it. Oh yeah, here is that, yeah.

I don't want to play. It's barely. His commitment to not just erasing it. And that's why he's a conservative icon. He just reminded immediately I just felt like he was someone in Seinfeld. What are you talking about? You're a half cutter. It was a half cutter.

It was a half cutter. You don't know what a half cutter is. I talked for the first six minutes on the podcast with Alfredo yesterday about circumcising your American child. Oh, my God. And it just felt like Seinfeld or like curbed. Where I was telling him all the immense pressure. I was so glad I didn't have to like decide of like, do you immediately a boy's penis in this day and age?

And he's like, why? Because everyone else is doing it. Like, I don't know. It seemed like the thing to do. And I was like, I let him down the scenarios of like, look, he chop his dick off. It's like a thing later. He'd be like, why did you chop my dick? No takebacks.

Now I probably lean towards not chopping it off because then they can always chop it off themselves later. But then you know they're going to hit with like, what I was 16? the first time someone told my penis, they said, iwi, ewee. It's a very American thing that we're talking about. And I'll live with this shame forever.

And I'm just like, I went on and on and on. And I was just like, and I'm so glad I didn't have to make it a decision. But then I was like, now, but here's a thing too. Because it's like, yeah, you probably shouldn't just be chopping babies' penis is off for no reason, right? Is there a reason? Sure there is. The pros and the cons look, I don't want to get into it. But I'm like, if I could go back in time, that's not to say, would I stop myself now?

No, I've grown accustomed to my own penis What do I want a new one? I'm almost 40 You know what I mean? But that doesn't mean Everyone, I'm not going to learn a whole new way of life Just keep chopping You know, just because like

But mine's been chopped I've settled in And then I kind of equated it to like If you got baby switched at birth Yeah Right Bro, what's the timeline That you want me to like tell you

Because I have four or five years tops Yeah 30 years in if you know Dude just don't say anything That's the morally right thing to do You gotta hold that one yeah You got two families they're perfectly happy.

What are you like, knock, knock, by the way, just to ruin your life. Your baby's got switched. You're welcome. Knock, knock, just to ruin your life. It's crazy that we lose teeth and they come back. Like, you get like one shot. Yeah, and then you lose kids and they don't come back.

You got one shot and everything else, but teeth is, you get two. Yeah. That's crazy. I call them training teeth. Yeah, you could just get annihilated. Yeah, you don't have to worry about those ones. How come your dick does it?

How can we get two shots at a dick? That's a, we weren't part of the teeth. I mean, let's test it out. Does anyone tried? Stabby, stabby. There's another one around here somewhere. Now, imagine Imagine putting this right up to your penis head.

And then watching the needle slowly go in. Because it's slow. And it's cold. And it's fucking freezing. You're supposed to let it. Oh. Hey, one more factual.

Hang on. Nick has something to say? No. You write it while I do this. It's already written. Yeah, I don't want to play. A Manchester New Hampshire, Dairy Queen. Okay.

I like, hang on. I like, Peen, the woojewit is... Oh no, did I fuck up? Oh, way, I went back to... Yeah, you did it! Oh, my God, I went to... Oh, no.

All right, all right, you can rewrite it while he's doing this lesson. I got to take a second. I don't know what he thought he was writing. I think he says, I like my peen the way it is. If I were to try to decipher it. Hang on to it. Don't erase it yet. Hang on to it. Oh, okay.

We'll talk about your peen in the way it is. All right, here we go. Nick's Pee, a Manchester, New Hampshire, Dairy Queen stated this week that they will no longer be using chocolate sprinkles, per dairy queen corporate standards. Oh, no. Owners Kevin and David Deon say they don't agree

with the move, but will follow in lock and step. Lock step. Quote, like any successful marriage, you will always have some minor disagreements from time to time. We do not want to jeopardize our relationship with IDQ. Please be respectful if you do decide

to reach out to them. Kevin Deion said, there's got to be more to this story. That's it. That can't be it. We need something more attention grabbing. Nick, put that mask back on and hit him with another sauce monkey.

hard truth and this time just say the thing that really needs to be said we need to make some headlines chocolate sprinkles are gone but rainbow sprinkles remain thoughts I like my peen the way it is hard as fuck with that green em and hem in those heels

baby come on let's show daddy how you can kick staying at attention I found this news story about we're discontinuing chocolate sprinkles and at the end of it I just went so that's the whole why did you put this why was this in the news do you think it's because is it

something to do with New Hampshire and like their thoughts on sprinkles is that like owners Kevin and David Dion I guess that's like a personal branch there yeah right that's their franchise they disagree with Dairy Queen saying no sprinkles but we do no sprinkles no yeah do you think mr. no chocolate sprinkles specifically right do you think her majesty the dairy queen is coming in to check? Like... I don't know. I don't understand. You better not have any chocolate sprinkles here.

We were told to discontinue all Grudge Knight stealing. Yeah. But we're going to do it anyway. We should have gone to the Dairy Queen out in Maynard and asked for chocolate sprinkles and then the guy would have been like, you didn't know? You go, no, he would have been like, we have that in the back. And then he would turn around, hey, chocolate sprinkles coming on. No, chocolate sprinkles coming and get him!

I give you chocolate sprinkles if you put me in photo. We talked about this guy a lot in the ride along, but yeah, he wanted to be in the picture as well. He ran across the store to try to run into our photo. How did he clock what we were like he's behind the counter? Because he didn't have a lot to do while he was waiting for all the chicken in the world to be cooked. 16 pieces of chicken. Between like 16 pieces. Between that ice tray and waiting for the. You can go to McDonald's and get a 40 piece nugget. It takes fucking two minutes. That Dairy Queen was a mess, you guys.

Filling up the ice tray, which is a very nice way to say, put a bunch of ice with a scoop in some container. It looked like you slide it out of a refrigerator and he just filled it with ice and went like, here you go, dip shit, and then put it out there. That was it. He actually called

you fuckstick. And then you just had to walk across the stickiest floor and then get some ice and it was great. It was everything you can ever want. Great Dairy Queen experience. Nick, it's not everything. Nick got his soda and drank it, and he went,

hmm, hot. That's why I went for the tea. Me too. Yeah, yeah. It was also pretty warm. Yeah. Right, but the tea is usually. I went up to the found,

and I was just holding my drink into the ice. And it's just going, I was like, I feel like any moment. Yeah. Any second. Here comes that ice coming, Jordan. Here it comes.

It was all those. And then I saw the empty tray of ice. I don't think there's any ice ice. No. That Dairy Queen sucked. Okay. Kind of did. Raining in a little bit.

Kind of was not great. Didn't have the food. Didn't have ice. Sticiest floor. Gave. Sticier attitude. 75 cent sauce packets. 75 cent sauce packets.

He didn't want to do a half cut. Almost turn Nick into a half cutter. Yep. Bro. Dude, that's what happened is some people's peens. It's not even a half cut. Yeah.

You don't want to have. There are certain things you can't. half cut. Let's just say that. It's just like an additional transaction. You can half cut it. You can half cut it. You save some for later. Dude, everyone in elementary school knows a half cutter. Yeah, this is what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It's like, I don't know. That Dairy Queen was just kind of a mess. We won't go back to that one. Maybe Dairy Queen is still on the list for restaurants we can do. We have to agree here. And by we agree, tell him, I fixed it. They are still on the list. If we had just gone to the one that we go to, which in hindsight is nicer. And I'm saying, it has the food. I'm down to hammer and blacklist, okay?

But we did get the chicken, thanks to my heroics. I'm not going to do it for no reason. And my own personal credit card. Yes, and crazy. We did talk about this earlier. I'm going to get another wallet. So I can actually carry the credit card? Oh, yeah, yeah, smart.

This only holds three. Smart. It's just convenient. We talked about it on the way there. There's blacklisted food that we want to do, but we... No, no, no. We're going to figure out a way. No, no, no.

Well, I figured out a way. We have our ways. Yeah. We have our ways, and you'll just wake up and then we'll be inside you. What? Hold on your headphones. Like we'll be talking. It's Madonna's favorite way to listen to a podcast.

I think I'll die another day. I think I die another day. I saw us. I think I die. Another day. Wow This podcast is good This podcast is good

It's a good show Beem Yep You got that joke Congratulations Pretty good I saw a great meme That was like

There's that scene From the James Bond Where you control the car From his phone Uh huh Uh huh Did you see that

When you wake up Where your lever's been murdered But you remember You can control your car With your phone And it's Paris Bros and like he's got a big grit on his face

and he definitely it's like that is what happens in the scene before like Jonathan Price killed that lady yeah and he definitely too makes like a like a fingering joke when he gets that thing

oh yeah you were saying that they make like yeah yeah because he's still old as fuck he's like it's a little hard to control

and he's like which by the way and then he was just like he's like texturous fingers or some shit like yeah yeah by the way

I looked at it up Desmond Lewellyn did die in a car crash. No, wait, really? Yeah. Oh, my God. Was he driving with him from him? He had a big smile on his face, sit in the front seat. But, like, he didn't realize it wasn't a movie.

I think he was like 89. Yeah. 89 did he, it was a fender bender when he turned a dust? He hit a curb and he shot out the front. He was 85. Sorry. He was a little stronger than an 89-year-old. Fender bend here and turn to dust is fucking crazy

Who was driving the car? I have no idea Here's just this little Nokia phone It's a Nokia It's a side gets an end gauge You can text people with Excel on that thing I saw so many flip phones at the convention They're so fucking cool like the foldable phones Oh yeah the fold of phones yeah it's such a good way

I've been watching rewatching better calls all which takes place in the early 2000s so it's like everyone when they hang up the phone just like closes it's such a satisfying way that somebody told me that they had one I was like my problem is I would just play with it I play with it yeah I'd break it I'd break it but I don't know if it was

I think it was a Motorola but I don't know if it was a specific brand or not they also had the fucking that little back screen thing built in I have a friend I have a friend who has that that's awesome she was taking pictures or whatever and it was like you can fucking see you can see what you're taking a picture yeah and it looks way like the way that you have the thing attached to your phone it's built

into the phone it's fucking incredible he didn't understand I'm explaining it to him okay yeah okay yeah he got it now that's what I said so you're gonna sit over there yeah I sent this uh okay put your fucking side in this video I saw to Eric but this guy who uh he has this account is just called time traveler from the year 2005 he's awesome it's so funny whoa that's was Walmart still cool back one it was so great he's like doing a lot of sports events and stuff and he just goes and he's like oh is this player still playing

and the people working they're like that guy hasn't played for a while. He'll show up to a game Nick it'll be like an NBA game and he'll be wearing like a LaTrell Spreewell jersey and ask like if Latrell Springwell's playing tonight and the people in like the store like the team store just going like

I don't think he plays for this team and he's like we talk about it shows like a jersey his voice is so high pitch and then he's always I'm always selling bootleg DVDs and he's I'm gonna go throw this in the trash. Okay, not a disposable. He has his, it's a great channel.

It's really funny. The one, the first one I saw was him going to a Washington Wizards game. Oh, yeah. And he was like, oh, number zero. Here we go. Gilbert Reed is. He turns out of Iraq and goes, who's this, Jabroney? When he goes to, I went to go see the Seattle Supersonics.

Except they're not called the Seattle Supersonics, no mo. And it's the Oklahoma City Thunder. It's so good. How did you even comprehend that that's the future? He's great. He's great. Like the bootleg DVD thing is so funny. I immediately found the cults one.

Of course. And like in 2005, they would have been playing in a totally different stadium. So he was like, except it's not called the RCA dome no more. Yeah, it's great. And he goes up to someone, he goes, I thought this was the RCA dome. And the people who work there are just like, whoa. They don't know what's happening. Like, they don't know enough about the sport to know what the old thing was called.

So they go, I don't think so. It's like, okay. This is just for me then, I guess. I don't know. It's the matcha or the three ensemble Cicot of Cephora of the FACET that I've been to denichet that I'm energize o'clock. Mm, it's all right.

The form of standard and mini, regrouped, hello, Ben. And the embellage, too beau, who is practically pre-to-donnelly. And I know that I'd have them offriars, but I guard the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. Mm-hmm.

The more beautiful ensemble of the fadowow desks, Catero desolate, so far as far as Summer Fridays, Rare Beauty, Way, Sifora Collection, and other part of Vite VIT. Procurry for a better quality price.

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Jordan, do you want to teach us about the food? Uh, Michael's gonna miss it, but that's okay, I think. Uh, he knows. Uh, the dairy queen, sweet chili chicken strips. The new sweet chili chicken option brings an irresistible combination of tangy sweetness and a subtile kick of heat. Ideal for those who like their meals with a little extra zing. They were less spicy than the hot chicken. The hot chicken was surprisingly spicy.

Yeah. These were not. No, these were sweet. These were sweet and sticky and so sticky and very sticky. I busted out a fork. I saw people using them hands and I was like, I'm not sure that's good. And I regretted it. You figure they were called chicken fingers.

Yeah. I thought that they were going to be like their steak fingers, you know, and I'm such a fan. Can't get enough of steak fingers. Whether you're craving something classic or looking for sweet heat, the DQ, sauceed and tossed chicken strip basket is here to satisfy. With your choice between honey barbecue or exciting new sweet chili, where was the honey barbecue at? They didn't have that.

The meal guarantees a thrilling experience. I'm thrilled to your taste buds. Each basket is crafted with 100% all white meat, seasoned chicken strips, perfectly seasoned and tossed in your sauce choice. Making every bite a delicious flavor adventure. This isn't that egregious. I mean, they're definitely overselling it. No, definitely. But the honey barbecue is the other option

But the limited time option is This sweet chili one But they also didn't have the sweet The honey barbecue Where we went I mean they definitely had pictures of it They had yes they did The guy definitely said we have regular and spice

Yeah and that was it and fries And he really needed to make sure we wanted fries For Look here it is That's it Sticky Sticky The other one that one glisten

Yeah The one the one that that they gave us just the spicy one was like so dry yeah it was it was very dry so dry and not a strip either but they gave it to you with gravy

yeah it's fine you eat some gravy the one Michael ordered came with marinera that was well he got the cheese curds is that a cheese curd thing I think I wouldn't be better with ranch maybe that's just me

yeah did you want this other one no I found it you want it Oh, no, was it outside? It's all you, man. You got it. No, it wasn't outside. Throw that in one of the fridge.

Cool. Might even wants it. Thanks. Well, we found out about the chicken option, and we took the sweet chili chicken option. It's a classic option. Yeah, it's a big option. Well, here's the thing.

We have our review of what we ate, but we need to hear from you in a segment we call you review. Ew. Were we going to say, Jordan? Yeah. I'm going to take the first two. Okay. Yeah.

I'm tired reading the long ones. I need a break. You got it, baby. Give me a break. All right, this one's from Nancy S. Literally. So damn high. Can't even get shit right.

If you can't smoke and do your job, it's simple. Don't do it. That's what I'm saying. So when she says you can't smoke and do your job, it's simple. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do what? Your job or smoke?

Oh, you got to smoke. You got to smoke. That's what I'm saying. She's telling people not to work. I thought this was her. She couldn't go in an order because she was so damn high. I think it could be both.

I couldn't do my job as a customer. Man, what do you want? This is a self-evaluation. I am glad you wanted to read the first two. Okay, well, hold on. Yeah. Maybe Michael should take the next one Maybe Nick should take the next one

I think you should just fire through it As a new conservative icon, he can But you know, it's okay He broke Pete again All right, these are Lizzie D's words Uh huh These are the words of Liza

Yep Went through the drive-thru and was politely asked to wait Guy got back on the intercom And just said the N word Hard R Horrible Like at

Lizzie Like just said it Like at her Horrible There is There are two R's and horrible Hard R Horrible

Was politely asked away It was polite And then suddenly not polite Hi ma'am, excuse me Can we just have a second? Absolutely what the dude like 1159 is so close to 12

yeah uh-huh but they shouldn't touch if you're so polite whoa imagine going to a fast food place and that happens to you like what would you like what do you say

I probably just I probably just leave I would peel out of there so fucking shit dude get me out of here I'm about to be on TV. Yeah. Get me out.

This is not good. I want to post it up. That's right. Put it in park. Hang on. Put my phone on the thing where I recorded all the Taco Pass videos. This Taco Pass video just got interesting. Just they say it and you just go, all right, okay.

Hold on. Sorry, I didn't catch that. Yeah. Number one. What? Let me put my mocker outfit on real quick. Let's get crazy. We're getting crazy, the Dairy Queen.

Number one. You, uh, you, I just see your brother comes around here. Black guy? Yeah. Did that, that happened to you, didn't it? Yeah, McDonald's. Yeah, a McDonald's, yeah. A black woman.

Your brother. Yeah, black woman's like, I know your brother. I remember when this happened. And I was wearing a mask, but that's about it. And she's like, I know your brother. And I go, I don't think you do. And she's like, yeah, he comes here. I go, he does not.

And she was like, yeah. And she was like, she's like, black guy is like the same hair as you? And I was like, no. What, what hairstyle were you rocking back then? Dude, I don't know. Right. I don't, I don't know. I'm just like, I'm just like, yeah, yeah.

What the fuck? Mike, whoa. No, it was an afro and I had a picture. Funny thing? We ain't found. shit. Spaceballs. Nice. All right. Now that Jordan's done with his hate speech. Levona Thomas R.

R. Lizaid. Thomas R. Hard R. I've been to this dairy queen on five plus occasions and have always had a decent experience. But this last time I went in is the reason I'm leaving one star. My apartment complex completely lost power for the entire

day. A construction issue. Apparently. By the end of the day, my phone was almost about to die. Every other place nearby was closed. So I decided to stop by my nearby Dairy Queen and use their chargers. Immediately, I realized they didn't have any outlets on the walls in the dining area. But I saw that there were a ton of outlets behind the counter. Can we pause for one second? Can we just pause for a second?

Those are about to be mine. things are rushing to my mind. Like, like, this is something Gracie would do. A hundred percent. Like, climb over the counter real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just plug it in. Also, the guy, like, being like, where are all the outlets for me to use as a customer? Excited?

They're in the ceiling, we know. Yeah. They're also outside the building. Along the outside. Yeah, like, don't go inside. I just, I'm just really excited to hear all about his reasoning. Yeah. I'm sure, I'm sure whatever is about to happen is completely their fault. It's going to be normal. It's going to be real normal.

Okay, so there were a ton of outlets behind the counter. I ordered food and told the employee that I was a frequent customer, five plus times by the way. Right? If you're talking about going over the counter. Yeah. He's lived there 20 years. I've been to my McDonald's probably 480 times.

Okay? A thousand times, probably. And I would never walk out, no I am. So we don't know the fuck you are. We don't know our own food we're selling, okay? Subway doesn't know the sandwich you just order. We don't give a shit how many times. I'm a frequent customer.

I've been here five plus times. Wow. Incredible, sir. Incredible. I was a frequent customer who was experiencing a power outage nearby and I was wondering if I could use one of their outlets. The employee immediately became rude

and honestly kind of abrasive. He said it was against policy to allow anyone to charge their phone there and said that I'd have to find somewhere else. Fucking rude and abrasive. I told him that it was a bit of an emergency and there was only going to be a max 20 minutes he rejected it again

and acted like I was being weird I was being a weird Karen about it parentheses I seriously was trying to be as nice and pleasant with the request as possible I dejectedly went back to my seat with my dead phone and then I heard him and his co-worker

laughing about it honestly a really awful experience this DQ is one of the nearest restaurants to me but definitely never going again Dang, never going to six sign. Tear. I don't remember if that's where this...

I might have been. I was being a weird, Karen. I wasn't! I wasn't! They do kind of tell on themselves by saying... Go anywhere. I was trying to be as nice and pleasant with the request as possible.

Which for them is like a very tall ass. You know what else is also funny? Just... So not very. When I'm pragmatically attached to myself to the framing of this, I was trying to be as nice as possible. So you can't even say you were.

Right. Right. I was very nice about it. I asked him politely. I try not to be a fuck-faced dickhead nugget, little blobbleau. I simply cannot help it. A little goober grimy cooper man. I was a little clipcloth. I did clipcloth. I did clipcloth.

I'm sorry. They were treating me like some sort of mainer ISD kid. It's 759! Get the fuck out! I like that there were no outlets for me to use, so I I saw their outlets and I went, well, those are mine. Yeah. I'm trying to colonize their outlets.

There are definitely outlets around. There's definitely some outside. Uh-huh. A million, a million things you can do. Just, I really like all of this and then going back with my dead phone and hearing the employees laughing about it is so funny. Absolutely. Again, though, like, you don't know that. You don't know that they could have been laughing about anything.

They could have been laughing about the time traveler from 2000 five. But I mean, I hope they were laughing at him. Also, of course it's against policy for anyone to plug their phone in right there. Right. Well, then anyone could do it. Behind the counter. Yeah. What the fuck?

What are you talking about? This isn't an airport. No. But also, also again, like, you could just be like, hey, I asked and they said, no, that's fine. Again, with the one wheel, it's way bigger of a hassle. Just giant thing I carry in. Of all the places I've ever gone to an Austin, only one time, they were like, you can't come in here with that. And it was a little bit dicky, but it was like, okay, whatever.

And it was a place that I'd been to before that let me do it. But it was also some sort of like, I don't know, I don't remember if it was an ACL or something. But it was like more crowded or it's like South By or something like that. Yeah. And so it's like, that's like, okay, and you leave. Right. But the idea where he's just like, I ask super politely, it's kind of an emergency. It's not an emergency, sir.

It's not an emergency. You're hanging out at the dairy clean. But also you're like, well, I have no power where I'm at. But there's power where you are here. just go out walk around look around outside again the outside of a building a light post maybe just like anything go next door to something else anything uh just man really buy a fucking uh cigarette part lighter and charge it in your car crazy the idea to walk into a dairy queen and say it's an emergency if you to charge your phone from an alibi on the counter is ludicrous crazy and then to write a one star review and be like i am not a carry yes the fuck you talking about It's a bit of an emergency. It's really not helping your case.

No, fuck no. No, absolutely not. I was a really big fan of that one. Just thinking about the employees laughing at him in the back. It's so funny. He said in the LZ. He dejectedly went back to his seat with my dead. Charlie Brown.

And then I heard him and his coworker laughing about it. Honestly, a really awful experience. Did you order anything? No. Great. Awesome, man. Thanks for coming. Hurt.

Appreciate it. No, he ordered food. He told the employee he was a frequent customer who's experienced of power artist I have been here five plus times

five times you might recognize five five times hey what's up anyway so I'll be coming back there this land

is your land I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you frequent customer because I'll let you know when I hit that status when I walk into the V shop and they go crate of Mike

yeah Nick is really into crate of life yeah he's into me talking about it I don't know if anyone reaches Kratom names. I think they say Kratem, Mike, but I don't think that's the case. I think they go, oh, Mike.

I don't think they do. They're selling me. No, it's kind of like what did them in? They're going, woo. Kratem, Mike. Don't make me stronger. Guys, this might push me to 200. I'm sorry.

I might live on going, hey, remember 100 years ago when those guys were alive? That's right. I say into a mirror. The Kratum makes you stronger and live there. to create him and then I just keep taking both my kids' blood. That's the, that's the thing. You can't just be one. That's right.

You gotta be both. I might need to have a male error because maybe I need like the blood of a male and a female. Yeah, but then you got to get into like the peen thing, dude. And that's a whole. Is it worth living 200 years? Yeah. After mutilating or. Or not mutilated?

I'd not mutilated. It's sticking with the trauma. I think I'd stick them with the trauma. This is purely not on any science. This is just knowing nothing about. it. I'd rather not have chopped and get shit for it. It's better to have not chopped than to have chopped at all.

Yeah, than to have chopped and now it's unchopable. I feel like unchopping isn't like, and I don't think that's really like a problem with anybody anymore. Like, as far as aesthetics. Right, I feel like you're giving America way too much credit.

I feel like you haven't been in eighth grade in a really long time. Hang on. Unchop. I thought he wrote cow chop. I thought he was Chopped with that guy The guy who's the host What's that guy's name? Pretty good. Gordon Ramsey.

Well, that's your review But this is our review. We're done. Thanks for watching. Chili chicken strips. We did get them for Michael. They were delivered. We did get up.

From the dairy queen, we should have gotten you to begin with. Jordan, what do you think? Despite it all, the thing that came was fine. It was like, it was chicken. Yeah. And it was better than, the one we had. It had, yeah, it had

chilies. It's very sweet. It was sweet. It was sticky. Jolie. Jolie. Yeah, I thought it was actually pretty good. Not much else to say about it. I feel like everything else we said that we needed to say it has been said.

The blizzard was fucking good. Because was great. Was it Oreo and Rees's is good. Yep. Yeah. I'll throw a butterfinger up there too in the mix of like... What if they put a whole butterfinger in the middle? Do you think butterfingers kind of underrated. It's underrated as shit. You get a good Butterfinger, like, this is hit the spot.

That's my favorite fucking thing to get at Sonic is the Butterfinger. Oh, the Butterfinger Blast or whatever? Yeah. Get blasted. Because it's like, dude, Butterfinger's so underrated. It's such a good fucking candy bar, but it's such a fucking mess. Yeah. You can't, it just, whatever, I hate it.

I hate it. It's just the fun-sized ones. You got to have the Halloween candy, so you just plopped out in your mouth. No mess. Butterfinger BBs? Yes. I remember those. Those were the best version of that candy.

Pretty awesome, too. You know how I eat butterfingers? Outside, only. Yeah. Yeah. Dead serious. Big, big bite away from my body. Yep. Yep. Yep. It's like a thousand. It's like paint flex. Remember those Nature Valley bars? Yeah, same thing. Same goddamn thing. Just make a fucking mess everywhere.

Yep. Anywho. This, however, is different and gets a 72. 72. That's so much better than when you gave Arbys. What did you give like a 60? The Arbys was like, the more I think about it, the more than it was just like, it was just, it was just, It was more dog food than we let on, I think.

I feel like I knew that I just probably have eaten more dog food than you. It was, well, I kept saying beef jerky. Beef jerky is so close to dog food. Yeah, it really is. I used to eat dog jerky beef jerky sticks. Is that a dog? Mm-hmm.

What's up? Like it was made out of dog? Yeah. Wow. Woof. Yo, yippee. It was pretty good The blizzard was real good

The nachos were not great Oh yeah Their chicken strips were all right DQ I think that's like the only decent food they have Their burgers are fucking dog dry them up real quick It's easy. Do the chicken well Ignore the gravy The gravy is not only insane

But it's tasteless Yeah, nothing. It does nothing It's not even like It was my gravy Like I accidentally used some of the gravy some of the gravy because I was like, oh, that's not ranch. And I was like, it's not even flavor here. Even with the ranch, like the chili, the, um, the sweet chili is like,

it doesn't help it at all. No, no, it didn't do anything. Yeah. The sauce that comes with it is fine. You don't need the ranch with it. I tried the ranch and the spicy chicken. Yeah. And it helped that a little bit.

My problem with that one is that it was a good amount of spice. It was just a little dry. Very dry. Dry breading. Yeah. Yeah. The chili was nice and moist. I will say that.

It was not dry. It was pretty good. I enjoyed it. I'm going to give it a 68. Yeah. That's an average score of 70. 70 for that, which I think is... Better than a 27. I'll tell you that.

27.5. Well, I can't wait to come back into another two and a half. Yeah. Well, we hit it again a couple years. See what we could push it to three or whatever. Revisit the cheesy dude. He liked it so much. He loves it so much.

It's weird. It's weird. That's why I like it. It's really strange. Well, everyone's getting satisfied. Especially you. That's our review. Why do you like tenses up?

It's really strange. The sweet chili chicken strips. Pretty good with the cheese curds. Yeah. Pretty good with cheese curds. Maybe next time stick to what we know. Go to the place that has it. I think that's probably right.

Hey, and if you want to grab some merch you can 100% eat. You can also go to patreon.com slash 100% eat to watch this week's and every other week's. Michael Jordan podcast, you signed up for that $10 tier. Oh, that was so close. Whoa. He liked that. You don't want to miss this week because we're playing McDonald's McMillions some more.

Are we? Yeah, do you not want to? No, it's better hurry up. Uh-oh. Yeah, that's right. You got stuff to do. You can follow that 100% eat on Twitter Instagram and Blue Sky. And you go P-O-Box, 1432-4.

P-Box. Austin, Texas, 7-8-7-1-4. That's P-O-Box. 14-3-2-4-1, Austin, Texas, 77-1-1-4. Get your holiday. cards in. Oh yeah. Get your holiday cards in. Yeah. We'll open them.

Madison's sending us one. What are you trying to go with our other one? No, I meant him. It's pretty good toss. Trying to get pissed up. Oh, okay. Right subscribe, tell a friend about the show where are you food. Rate the food. That's us. Thanks for listening. And talk about a lot of other stuff.

Got some good stuff coming soon. That's more important than the food. Yep. No, we have nothing good coming. Oh, we have a lot of good stuff coming. We do? Oh yeah. Yeah, like him. He!