100% Eat - BK is Pro-Michael, Anti-Eric %% BK Fiery Menu

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Our Heroes, thanks to YOUR votes (and 2 votes from Nick,) take it BACK to BK to get their mouths around the new BK Fiery Menu. Can these Bug Kings handle the heat or should they stay out of the combination Burger King & 7/11 that doesn't sell an eyeglass repair kit. Either way, they 100% hate Eric, fully. Grab a spicy chicken fry and bite into this week's episode of 100% Eat. Check out our Olympic Soda taste test on Patreon. http://patreon.com/100percenteat 100% Eat is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/100Percent New shirts on their way at https://100percenteat.myshopify.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. ["The Daily Show Theme"] Welcome to 100% Eat, the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you?

Feeling fiery today. Ooh, we're fired up. Fired, oh. We are fired up. No, no, no, no. What? I didn't say fired up. Oh, I said I'm feeling fiery.

Oh. And that's just an example of my fiery attitude. Oh! That I'm bringing today. That's awesome. I'm sweating. Woo! Oh. It's not because of the food though.

It's a little warm in here today. It is a little warm. We're going to figure it out. It's not figured out. It's okay, we bought some tweezers. We bought some tweezers. So we have a nest, but we don't have a screwdriver to release the wires on the thermostat terminal. Which sucks because all you got to do is jam it into the nest.

You don't need a screwdriver, but... It's frustrating because it's the one thing I was telling Jordan I I could put faith that the wires in the terminals on the thermo and a stat are loose enough where I could just yank them Uh-huh, but if any of them give uh-huh and not all of them Then we just have no air conditioning no AC at all and so it's not a risk. I'm willing to take no But it does really highlight the problem that we need to crank the AC hours before we get here. Yeah. So we really should go buy a little screwdriver after this episode and get this fucking thing installed. We'll make it happen. So we can make cold from phone. Yeah. Cold from phone would be great. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And if we can, since if we go to the Home Depot that's over here, if we couldSmart and the H-E-B. I have some stuff I need to pick up.

No, no, no, we're not doing, we're not doing, we're not, that sounds like an extra video. We go to Total Lines too. That sounds like an extra video. Yay! Content! Running errands with friends. Okay, now I will say, I don't like how much that made me go,

that's a good idea. More content, always good. Yeah. Thank you, thank you. It really turned me around. Very convenient office space. Now this is the second time we filmed in here but the first episode was with Gracie so one it was batshit insane. Yeah does it really count? It doesn't. I don't even really remember it. Two to what I'm really settling and now is like This is the perspective now. Yeah. Yeah

You're over there. Yeah, I strategically play a lot of head turning this one leg I'm I'm riding it. There's space I'm in a high chair. I can stretch my feet and then I would touch I'm stretching my well you guys I can stretch my feet and then I would touch both of your legs. I'm stretching mine too. Whoa, you guys, you're making me a foot rest. None of this. Oh, you can't see your little feet. Nick, Nick, look.

Don't you want to suck them? Lift me up. Oh my god. Oh shit, I was showing him the bottom of my foot. You were showing the bottom and everything. That's the part that he likes the most. Don't look at my arches, dude. I can lean back a little bit.

We also, this is a work in progress. I have a feeling no It's I think we're probably gonna move this up a little bit and then get a get it like a little bit like a cleaner Shot I'm feeling good about I care less about the cleaner shot and more just the fact that I have to climb into my chair That that's what that's all stand on it and I said like a baby in a chair. Yeah Oh, you're in a high chair, too. Yeah, but just only only getting in style It's like getting in an F1 car sitting style is normal. I'm really glad I brought a fucking extra shirt Yeah, you guys would have been matching. I would have been great. No No, I'm like 10,000

Especially rocking the shirt especially sitting next to each other. Maybe if it was like yeah, we were there and there I I next to each other. Maybe if it was like flanked. Yeah. We were there and there. I... I don't know when the last time I wore like a face jam or 100% each shirt was. Mm-hmm. Like on something. And I went, you know what? I'm gonna wear this today. And I went, somebody's gonna fucking wear this thing. Someone unpacked a second shirt. That's why, that's why the last time you did wear one, you wore the women's cut. Because you knew...

Oh yeah. None of us were gonna wear it. Yeah, hang on, hang on. Yeah, that's why. Yeah, that's why. Yeah. And did wear one, you wore the women's cut, because you knew none of us were going to wear it. Yeah, hang on, hang on. That's why. Yeah, that's why. And it was a great choice. Brilliant. All right, let's talk about...

We're reviewing Burger King fiery menu, which is why Jordan was feeling fiery, I imagine, unless that's unrelated. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's it. There's that fiery attitude coming out again. It's more of a smolder now. Nick, let me ask you. We don't have like a weirdo Nick cam yet.

Not yet. Give it time. We definitely will look into that. But now that Gracie isn't here, you get your own chair. What's the quality upgrade on that chair? Isn't it awesome? Nine bucks! Nine dollars. And not even cum stand. The least cum stand.

Okay, he stood up to take a look. That last one there, if we go get one more. No, that's cum-easy. I don't think legally we could say cum-free, but we could say cum-less. Yeah. Kind of like the boneless wing thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You would have to assume there's some bone in it. Like a nut-less November. Yeah. You're not gonna not. Have you? But just maybe a little less than usual. Did you guys, did you see that news thing about the boneless wings? Where legally boneless wings,

At least according to the Supreme Court of Ohio, Can have bones. And it's not just that legally it can have bones. Their opinion stated that no reasonable person would expect something called boneless wings to not have bones. And I'm like, am I unreasonable? Because I feel like I would expect that. Now what does that even mean? Does that mean it can just be like a small regular bone? Right, at what point is that a bone that you can eat? So what happened is somebody was eating boneless wings. There was a piece of a bone in one of them.

They swallowed it and it cut their esophagus while they were eating it. So they sued the restaurant. Still ate it. 100% eat it. Yeah. I don't know if they had a choice at that point. Sued the restaurant. Saw a cat throw up this morning. It's possible. Oh, there you go. Sued the restaurant and then it went all the way to the Supreme Court of Ohio and Supreme Court of Ohio went, oh, you can have bones? It's boneless. You can

have some bones. I wouldn't expect anything less from Ohio. No, you you got bones? It's boneless! You can have some bones. I wouldn't expect anything less from Ohio. No, you just gotta hyphenate it now. Yeah, bone less. Or you gotta spell it different. Maybe like two Z's. It's like when you do wings, it's W-I and G-Z. Because it is not chicken or wing. You know, for all the lawsuits, frivolous fast food lawsuits, which is like, I spilled my coffee. this one seems like understandable like a little like I ate a boneless wing and there was a bone in it cut my esophagus Right, which is why it's even more insane that they ruled against him. Now granted I don't know what that means if it's like ow Or if it's like oh I cut my esophagus and I have to go to the doctor. Like a whole like hospitalized. Okay. Yeah

No, that's fair. Yeah, I feel like that's a fair lawsuit. Uh-huh. I'm glad that the my assault and I'm gonna go to the doctor. Like, hospitalize. Okay, yeah. No, that's fair. I feel like that's a fair lawsuit. I'm glad that the justice system was here to sort that out. Turns out the Supreme Court on every level is great. Yeah. And that's why this nation is in crisis. What do you think is gonna happen by the time this comes out? Right. I feel like you just jinxed it. This comes out in about two weeks. Every time we say that something happens, dude.

It was just people, last time this happened, it was on like the last episode before like, kind of like a week and a half break or whatever. And it's just people going, I think at the time they recorded this, this happened. But in the meantime, all of these other things happened. Which I totally fucking call. Yeah.

Because I said. Because you're the deep state. Oh. I read the script. No. Yeah. Guys, you're not gonna believe what happens on the 13th You'll find out telling um I'm gonna. I'm gonna jump ahead a little bit. What's up in here um? This drink here. Yeah, which was part of the fiery Menu yeah that we got today fiery strawberry and sprite

Yeah, I'm not I won't really get into the the talking points. Yes, the press statements there It's fucking disgusting. What do you mean Nick liked it? Like I was saying you before we started I know there's people that just don't drink soda, right? It's like I don't drink so me mostly in general and that's a huge hump to get over like as a taste If you've got people that like soda, I Don't understand like I like soda I like it as a refreshment if I feel like I want something cold with a little bit of sugar And it's not gonna crunch my thirst at all

I Hate this. I it's and I like a lot of soda. I don't understand why they're always so fucking stupid and weird. Fiery strawberry and sprite, spice level one, which I think is zero. Yeah. Yeah. I think one means zero because it's not spicy at all. It's just strawberry sprite, and I just cannot wrap my hand around it. Yeah. And then he went, I liked it. Yeah. That blew me away. I thought it was pretty unoffensive. So I'm a little surprised you're so gung-ho about, I liked it. Yeah, that blew me away. I thought it was pretty unoffensive. So I'm a little surprised you're so gung-ho about dunking on it.

No, I will say, I'm taking this as like, I'm just making this like the martyr for all stupid sodas. Yeah, sure. OK, yeah. There are some stupid sodas out there. It's just this, I'm like, another one of just like, just drink Sprite. See, now I think you're a man on an island here

because what happened is you're comparing it to those two gold medal sodas that you had waiting at the Burger King. Right, I am exactly. The Coke gold medal and wrestling. I guess, yeah, I guess that's why I'm unleashing my- Dr. Pepper cherry? Yeah, it was like wild cherry wrestling cherry.

It was wrestling fucking Sprite cherry. Oh, it was like wild cherry wrestling championship. No, it was wrestling fucking sprite cherry. Oh, it was also sprite? It was also sprite, yeah. Yeah, that's what the first weird part was, because it was like a Coke thing, and I thought it was gonna be all Coke, but it was gold Coke and wrestling sprite. Yeah.

And then three more they did not have. They were out, they cleaned them out. They must have been the good ones. Flew out of the machine. I will say, I feel this is just getting the brunt of that because this is the third stupid soda I've had today. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he wanted them, the maniac,

and I needed to regulate him somehow. He's trying so hard to hit this on me. Because he would just drink them all and go, they're all so good. And then we'd have no comparison. That's why I have this cup. We were killing time for reasons that will be explained in a minute.

But Nick and I walked over to the freestyle just to see if they had anything crazy and up in the little top right corner Like where it was like pineapple fest the last time yeah, right in the box was terrible It was it was Olympic flavors. Yeah, and I was like well. We got to check this out and Then it was just those two and I was like I don't know what coca-cola gold medal mix would be Don't worry they found out I filmed it. Yeah. So it'll be a video that comes out. But then it was like oh I'm so curious and I was like well I mean I'm sure we're getting drinks.

It'll be an exclusive on Patreon. Okay. Alright. Yeah why not. Take that take that free listeners. Yeah. Eat shit. Check it out. We hardly put anything exclusive on Patreon. It's true. Here's a 90 second video. Yeah, exactly. And this is where the political climate is about to change. And if that pisses you off, I don't know, man. I don't know.

You should film your own because it's probably gonna be better than the video we filmed where Michael went, this looks like Robitussin. No, he said that. Whoa, Nick was Robo Spider? Nick was Robo Trippin the whole time? Yeah, I said Robo Trippin when he said Robitussin. No, he said that. Whoa, Nick was Robo Spider? Uh-oh. Nick was Robo Trippin' the whole time? Yeah, I said Robo Trippin'. When he said Robitussin'.

You got face blindness with Nick and Michael. I closed my eye, well, I plugged my ears. I plugged my ears, I look out of, they look the same. I mean, in that instance, I can't blame him. We were just two people drinking Olympic sodas. Yeah. They were two men going for the golf. It all kind of blends together.

Yeah. I had next to no interest in trying them. I know you sat all the way. But when I was talking to Nick about it, he was like, how do we get Eric to get these for us? And I was like, I don't know where I was. He was like, you tell him, you bring it up. And I was like, I don't want it. And then you were like, oh, maybe Michael can do it. Between that and get the zesty sauce, you have to help me. I don't know what to like. Getting out of the car, you have to help me. Get the zesty sauce, you have to help me.

He's ill. Just like, it's like, doesn't think I can hear you. We're just ignoring his cries for help. I know you can hear him. Yeah, and then I'll tell you, I know. You said that,

we just history, just keep reading it's up. You got out of the car and said, it's like he thinks I can hear him. And then he said, I can hear you. Yeah. Or I know you can hear me. I know you can hear me. And then you just had the same comment again.

It just never ends, dude. And so- Like a snake eating its own ass ass and so we didn't get any zesty sauce But they gave me Burger King didn't like okay, you got it. Yeah, you got a rollback go ahead So I miss back to the top quickly Try to try to Michael and I were shopping for tweezers We were shopping for a little eyeglass repair kit sized screwdriver. Couldn't find one in the 7-Eleven which is attached to the Burger King.

And ended up with a pair of tweezers that I was hoping would work. The best we could do. They didn't work. So we could install the Nest thermostat. So I missed this fiasco of your ordering, but please tell. I walked up. There's no one at this fucking place. It is me and the woman working there.

And I just go, hey, do you guys have the fiery menu? And she went, the menu's right here, and then pointed to the thing on the counter. And I went, I understand. I get it. I've been to Burger King before. It's the new limited time stuff. And she went, oh, is it that? And then pointed to the signage outside.

And I went, yeah. But you have, there's like a thing where you get one of everything in like, it's called like a fiery trial pack or whatever. I'm like, hang on, let me find it. I pulled it up on my phone through the fucking website. Always a good sign. This is everything I hate about doing this show is just the-

No, it's not. They had the signs on the outside. Yeah. That was a good throughout the day. The three minutes of ordering this and it's going this way. And so I'm like, it's this thing on the phone. And she just went, I don't know what that is. And I went, right, what I'm saying is you have it.

There's the signage. It's here. And then she stopped speaking English. And then she went, hang on, and then got somebody else, a manager, and she's like, right, what I'm saying is you have it. There's the signage, it's here. And then she stopped speaking English. And then she went, hang on, and then got somebody else, a manager, and she's like, oh, can I help you? And I went, yeah, I'm just looking for this thing specifically.

This, if you guys have the fireman stuff. And she's like, oh, yeah, so you have to order that online through either the app or the website, and then just do it here. And then, you know, it's like ordering from us, but we can't do it. We don't have buttons for that. I'm buttonless over here.

What are you, you don't have button. And I just went, okay, all right, hey, you know what? There's nothing she can do. Right. That's fine. She assures you. Exactly. So I walked off to the side and then it was just like, okay, let me sign up for a new account.

Let me sign this thing in. I have to get into our email, which has a two factor authentication. Let me go through and do this thing. Oh, I put in the order. Oh, unable to complete the order. Let me just keep pushing through. Let me put in all the card information.

Hey, do you want to sign up for this? Fuck, God damn it. Fuck, I'm just hitting the button. I'm just hitting the button. Just go, just go, just go. How are we gonna get burg emails to our email account now? Yeah, absolutely. And then absolutely and then Nick was going at least we're getting it and it's like not right now Let it be done once it's done and it's done not in the middle It was not done. So as we had our little adventure at the yes free style this point

I finally had I finally got it done. They got it in and everything but nobody else knew what the order was you guys didn't know what it was Specifically that was my idea. Yeah, they had no idea so Michael After this gets this is even better because this is where our stories intersect this side I walked back from the 7-eleven and Eric was off the side punching his phone, and then he went and I when I left you were in line Yeah, and you went the food is ordered Yeah, and I thought that was and I said why wasn't it already ordered? Uh-huh? I was very clearly tell you like it had just happened. Yep. Yep, and you were nowhere near the register

I was like we've been here a while. We had been here a while. I agree. Yeah, he's got tweezers Oh, you mentioned like oh they have the buttons oh whatever then He got he got in your fucking ear i mean no he didn't get in my ear i i heard a small whisper and i amplified it That's what i do you can hear him right i gave him a microphone and a fucking speaker That's what i like to do that's i just accept ideas and i try and make them happen It like you and you did, like going out shopping after this and making a video out of it. No one got in my ear, okay? When he tried to get in my ear and I rebuffed him, he was like, I'll try Michael.

Yeah, right. Michael will save me. And I'm there to welcome him with open arms. Mom says no, I'll go talk to Dad. Yeah. So, so I walked over. Of course we can get Olympic medal gold Coca-Cola. And I, well then I was just asking you because I had no idea what was in the food, like what

the order was, and I was just confused because I was like, is there drinks? And you're like, yeah, but it's online, da-da-da. I'm like, okay. But then you were talking to him about the thing, and you're like, go get a cup if you want to do it. He's like, no, no. And I'm like, is there drinks? Why are we not getting cups?

And then you were like, oh, it's like a thing. Yeah. It's a specific drink. There's a specific drink that they have. Okay. And I went, oh, well, I'm getting drinks then. And he was like, eee. So I went over, I walked up to the counter. Pretty sure he did a backflip.

Empty. Yep. No one there. Waited a while. Yeah, I took a picture of you. Showed it to Jordan. It is on a.5 lens. It's you standing at a counter, not another soul in sight.

Yeah, they were fiddling near the drive-through, but a lot wasn't happening over there either. But it's fine. I was waiting. So she finally came over and she, you know, asked what I wanted. And I said, I was looking at the menu because I was waiting for so long. And I had no idea what the hell we were eating. Oh, you knew where the I was like, can I get, can I just get two medium drinks, and I'll take, uh, eight piece mozzarella fries, or whatever they're called. Sticks. What, what, have you? Yeah, no, they're mozzarella fries.

They are. That's what they call them. Why am I calling them that? Uh-huh. Um... That's pretty dumb. Ness Camera. And so I was like, I don't know what we're getting, but it's probably something stupid, like these stupid drinks. Probably not gonna have mozzarella sticks, why would they have that? I don't know, I'll just pick them. So I go, I want the mozzarella sticks, and she goes, which kind? I'm like, I don't know.

Oh, this is new. What kind, what are there? And she goes, regular or fiery? And I'm like, oh, this is new. What kind? What are what are there's? And she goes regular or fiery. And I'm like, oh, fiery. And she's like, okay, and then I walked away and left. And then I walked over and I told you and you freaked out. Well, no, there was there actually wasn't a lot of freakage at first. And I was like, no, but I can tell it was internal. He wasn't lining up for me. And I was like, but that's so weird so weird Michael because because how come they didn't make you order on the yeah And I went must have found I'm maybe just found a button. I don't they fixed it What the fuck okay? So then I don't know how too far ahead we want to get on on the mozzarella. Oh go for it. Just go for it Yeah, because it gets worse because yeah, it's worse for me So which means it's worse for you, So then I find out that in fact,

this order has those very same mozzarella sticks. That's what you think. And I was like, oh, oh well. And so we get in the car and- You can watch this on the ride along. I just immediately started eating them. Yeah. And Eric's like, oh, you're just going to-

I'm like, absolutely, I don't give a fuck. Well, you started eating them. He started screaming. Yeah. Oh, right. Oh, I did. You gotta share. I wasn't give a fuck. Well you started eating them. He started screaming. Yeah, oh right. Oh, I did I was I wasn't there you got you got a share He also if whatever noises he did make nothing was can I have one no no it was It was really noises noises that were I don't know let's try feeding him. Maybe he'll stop It's like when my cat starts screaming,. I did and he did yeah, it worked

He was wearing a fiery crown works with my so so I was I was eating them And then I gave Nick some cuz I knew he'd want and then and then he was going Monkey style filming I'll go in a people's faces who aren't talking I was holding a monster. I was like trying to feed it to you Yeah, but having to tell you to wait yeah, because he wouldn't fucking look at me But then he saw it and went like no I would not oh I thought you were giving it to me again or something like that It's what he said because I was gonna feed Eric a stick while he was driving

um Honestly my gut reaction was like wow these are pretty good. I even said I took a bite I'm like these are fucking good like these are not really good mozzarella the cheese was crazy Yeah, they were great. They were it was like soft and gooey and like well breaded So those are the ones you ordered right how about the ones I ordered so so we get back here and I'm fucking around the other room you guys like sat down or eating before I was and There's just like These fucking suck

These fucking suck. I'm like what are you talking about? And I buy one they are terrible the mozzarella fries you got were fucking dog shit They were dog shit like in it like I can't even begin to describe the difference in quality between the ones I got and the ones that you got. I wasn't even sure if they were cheese. I overheard this conversation sort of and I was like what are they talking about in there? And then I immediately thought this thing I'm like this can't be these can't be the mozzarella sticks and you're like they are Michael they are they like had a snap to them I'm not saying well I I'm not saying one told them apart, and you could see the breading

Separate from the cheese the dry yeah Okay, I'm not saying that the I wouldn't rate like the ones that I got a ten Uh-uh, but let's just say they were a ten for Burger King for three. Maybe I would say they're like a negative Yeah, okay, okay, okay, we're fucked from like whoa, these are I would eat these two What is this? Yeah, is this powdered milk? Oh, they were fucking terrible Burger King in this episode Specifically had me going fucking around the world. I felt like I was losing my mind That was the craziest fucking meal to be a little sweeter and a little less sour You're supposed to get ranch with everything we ordered.

They gave me sweet and sour. Yeah, but it's okay. They gave everyone else marinara. Yeah, so I ate one of Nick's blue cheeses and then he just kept crowing about the blue cheese. Ah, finally! Finally, it says that every time. He also, also, he was going on about the Zesty from the second we got out, we're finally leaving, and I go, did you get the Zesty sawstruck? I didn't get anything. I got nothing that wasn't handed to me. I don't care. I don't care. I didn't talk to anyone. And I went, Nick, now would be the time. He's like, I don't care. And I was like, what? You would talk, what is the first thing you said

when you got out of the car? And he's like, You said Zesty socks, help me. I'm like, yeah, Nick, you kept going on. He's like, I want it for you guys. That was the thing. He goes, I don't want you guys to miss out. And I'm like, okay, the train's leaving.

Now's your last chance. And he goes, and he's like, I'm not gonna use the ones in my bag. The Burger King Zesty socks sucks. No. I'm pretty sure it does ones in my bag. The Burger King's Zesty Socks sucks. No. I'm pretty sure it does. You didn't like it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

If that was what was on the burger, then yeah, I don't like it. Man, what a weird meal this is. So here's the thing. He sounded befuddled. Here's the thing, you guys voted for this. That doesn't add up. Yeah, that's not right.

You guys voted for this. We left it up to the Grakles and above and Nick won overwhelmingly by the way. Yeah, like 40 something percent or whatever. Also voted twice. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. Voted twice for Burger King. One of the ones we witnessed because you did it at the Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When we were eating there on Wednesday. Wednesday Right and then he went home and logged into his personal one and voted again hang on hang on gotta lock this in I gotta start I gotta start countering his votes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I am paying you got you got it And how many kids you got? Hey, not they're not crackled here though gifting subs for

Patreon coming soon. Yeah. What's that? Cool, mark your calendar. Thank you. Soon. We're on the wait list for this feature. Wow! Okay, okay. So is our guy. That's all for everyone on Patreon.

Yeah. We'll just talk to our guy. We're good, we're good. We are on the update list. God damn right. The app will refresh. They have our email. Mm-hmm.

They know we're on that website also. Pretty good. This episode is sponsored by Better Help Therapy Online. For 10% off your first month, go to betterhelp.com slash 100%. Go to betterhelp.com slash 100%. When your schedule is packed with kids activities, big work projects,

running a business with four chuckle heads. Yeah, I mean, that's mostly what it work projects running a business with four chuckle heads Yeah, well you're running a business mostly with three chuckle heads. Yeah, it's three. I was counting Gracie. Yeah I actually didn't work here, but I agree with you. Oh, but let me tell you the mental effects. Yeah, they're long-lasting Yeah, it's easy to let your priorities slip even when we know what makes us happy It's hard to make time for it like making a video that you sort of don't want to make Filming them going shopping, but then you do want to make it, but then we don't have make time for it. Like making a video that you sort of don't want to make, filming them going shopping. But then you do want to make it, but then we don't have the time for it. It's hard.

You're just juggling a lot. And when you're down and out, when you're not feeling like yourself, or maybe when you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself, which, Eric, you could use. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma, etc. This is like everyday life stuff. Yeah. It's therapy isn't a thing where, you know, it's you're just like, I'm I'm just a regular normal person. I don't need it. It's pretty helpful for every regular normal person in every facet. In fact, I would say it's recommended. Yeah, right, right.

And it's easy if you're thinking about starting therapy. Give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire, very easy, to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. But Jordan, how do I get started? Make therapy a non-negotiable for you with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash 100% today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash 1-0-0-P-E-R-C-E-N-T.

But you guys voted for this, so everything that we have to say, this is on you. Yeah, but it sounds like it was pretty good because you got got. I did. There was a lot of getting and I got it. Yeah, a lot of the conversation around the vote on Discord at least was, oh, let's make them eat Burger King, they hate it. Let's make them suffer, stuff like that. Thank you.

And I do hate it. I feel like the Eric suffering on top, just the ordering process is just gonna embolden them further to make decisions like this. I just don't, how did it, how? Good. They took a look at you and they were like, Eric suffering on top just the ordering process is just gonna embolden them further Good they don't look at you and they're like they're like I'm gonna mess with this they know they said they didn't get this Suggie looking dude This homie mustard looking mother and you know, it's weird so never so good they never thought about that word They just took a look. Yeah, and they just like material accepted in their minds Yeah, Nick. What's the second drink that you got?

Whatever there you just took a drink of it the water that's got the stuff in it I think I do have my brain went somewhere else. What what are you drinking? Is it aha? Is it water? Grums no, it's water, but it's is it carbonated. Yeah, that's it. I couldn't think of car. Is it plain? No, it's lemon lime Thank you What's happening

I thought this is where we needed to do cam because he started like shaking and like his eyes almost tearing up like like he's like It's like when someone confesses to a crime. They didn't commit. They're like, I'm guilty. I'm guilty I killed him. I killed him and they're like sir. We know you weren't there. I did I chopped him up I must have forgot It reminds me they're coming for It reminds me... They're coming for us! They're coming for us! It reminds me one time... One time in my... That was funny.

There's no way you heard that in the audio. In my ninth grade Spanish class, our teacher... I was not paying attention, and my teacher called on me to answer a question. She's asked me a question in Spanish, and she's looking at me, but she's got kind of a lazy eye, so I'm like not sure if she's actually looking at me, but she's got kind of a lazy eye, so I'm like not sure if she's actually looking at me, and I'm just like, uh, uh, and she's like, like, answered the question, and I think it was like, how many people are in your family,

and I was just like, uh, uh, uh, yo, Tego Cinco, uh, and then she's like, thank you, and I was just like, it was like that. You're falling apart, uh, uh, uh. No, but it kind of wasn't. The look on your face. Exactly like that, thank you. Yeah, and I was just like, it was like that. You're falling apart. Yeah. No, but- That took me back. It kind of wasn't. The look on your face.

Exactly like that, because you answered. I- Well, without me fucking screaming that. I didn't ask questions about like, you know, there's like people, you know? I thought where that was going to go is that he ended up getting- And you just go, you just took a drink.

I watched him take a drink. That's what made me think of it. The way I thought that was going to go is that he ended up getting... And you just go, you just took a drink. I watched him take a drink, that's what made me think of it. The way I thought that was gonna go is that he got one of the Olympic sodas and then we were gonna make fun of him for that. No, he wouldn't scream it from the rooftop. And then he got water with the thing. You know, water with the thing. Carbonated water.

Carbonated water. They were out of diet. What a flavor, what flavor? No diet, no zero. What a day. That was a freebie yeah, I feel like all the the lifting we've been doing Telling the stories. Yeah, someone just handed back. Yeah, that's true. Yeah Budget of Gracie we're here for that We never would have gotten to this point.

Never. Yeah. This is far too calm and normal. Yeah. For anything like that to have happened. I mean- I'm- Hey, let's play a game!

Dude. Dude. Dude. Just- Holding shit. Like, gremlin shit. Just. Oh my god.

And at one point she goes, I think I have ADHD. Yeah! Think no more. I mean like, are you- Rewatch this episode! Literally ask a question, answer the question. Oh, what? I wasn't listening. Holy fucking shit.

Dude. Hey, let's learn about Burger King. You guys ready? Yeah. Oh man, the episode's half over. By the way, you can't see it, but Nick took one of the crowns and he's wearing it. It's on the monkey's head over there. See, this is what it is. Maybe we like, paint up at the end. Oh, okay.

Welcome to 100% easy show. No, no, keep going down. King Pinions? Charles? Not great. show. No, no, keep going down. Kingpinions? Charles? Not great. Yeah, no kidding. Apparently he was almost assassinated a long time ago? I don't remember that. Uh-uh. I don't know, I watched all the Crown.

I don't remember that episode. I don't know if you're saying uh-uh, like you don't know or you disagree. No, he's saying he didn't do it, but if you press him a little harder he'll confess. You said apparently he was almost assassinated a long time ago, and he went uh-uh. And it was just the way he said it, it sounded like he was disputing you No, he fell down All right, okay We went there this recently? Yeah, yeah, yeah

God our last Burger King episode as Face Jam was May 7th 2024 where we ate the wraps Yep, it received an average rating of 44.5. It was our final face jam episode. Wow. Yep. That is crazy. Yeah. We wouldn't have picked this. You picked this. So we wanted Zach's B's chicken finger tacos, but here we are now.

Ooh. Yeah. That sounds good. Not this. Let's go. We've been doing this a while already. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say like coming on three months here. We launched May 11th. We're coming up real, real close. Wow. Are we doing enough? Getting ready for the end? Should we do more? Right? Well, we have this, so we're gonna be doing more. Oh, man. I thought we would just lease the building and then kind of shut down. Yeah, that would be it. Oh, cut and run. Yeah. Well, because now too, we can also just sublet. Oh, that's good. Make a fortune on this. Check it out Stinky dragon 600 square feet just for you. That'll be $12,000

They can have that room. We don't know what to do. Yeah, no kidding. You got Chris and Blaine figure it out. All right Get serious here. Oh, sorry. Okay in 2016 a Burger King and Helsinki, Finland made headlines about becoming the first BK with a spa on site. The spot included flat-screen TVs, a fridge full of beer, and a 15-person sauna so when you're done eating your whopper and feel like shit, you can all sit in the sauna together and fart and relax in the water. Did you turn the jets on or was that me? Uh-oh! Which face would you describe that as? I think that's like a blushy face? Yeah, he's bashful bashful

Modocon black and white. Mm-hmm Sauna's don't have yet. Yeah, you're confusing a sauna with a hot tub. No, there's a there's a big hot tub But the way it was written was the way it was in person sauna. Uh-uh The way it was written 15 person sauna, but it was a hot tub that they were describing. Oh, okay Yeah, don't know why oh, yep. So you're putting that on them. Mm-hmm. Oh, absolutely. Yeah I feel like after I eat a whopper I would love to be in a sauna and just sweat it out immediately I think it would make me feel so I would make like the food already. Yeah, just accelerating the process I think it would like make the food expand and like make me feel worse. Is that science?

Yeah, and I fucking love science Science rock shut the fuck up Facebook Burger King sold hot dogs in 2016 What? The grilled dogs came in classic and chili cheese versions only lasted about six months and left no impression on anyone except a guy on reddit who, 11 months ago, made a post stating that they found a box of frozen hot dogs in the back of the BK freezer and their boss told them to put out a sign that says we have hot dogs now. This BK rules. Monkey won a 2016 pre-Trump dog. This dog will tell us how Bernie can still win let's go Pokemon go to this BK

2016 is crazy dude. Yeah, remember those remember all those 2016 isms Harambe we got a Pokemon go to BK hot dogs out for Harambe Now we're getting there. You should write a couple of these facts, man. You're really, you're firing off. This is pretty good. The idea that Burger King had hot dogs for a minute and then somebody found them almost 10 years later and their boss went, those are hot dogs, man. Put them out there. Why is that the reaction? Why isn't it, throw those away? They've been there for eight years Dude profits profits over people dude. I don't know that eight years makes a difference because

Because not only the hot dogs is burger king we both had mozzarella sticks from the same burger I could have believed were eight years apart. Yeah, they were we got the ones that were in the back day Yeah, they were came out same day now. Let me let me ask you it was like it was like a twins Danny DeVito Arnold Schwarzenegger situation related if we If we went to that Burger King, and we had we're like our board is fiery stuff or whatever But you saw a sign that said we have hot dogs now. We'd be getting those hot dogs

Yeah, and we wouldn't be asking said, we have hot dogs now. We'd be getting those hot dogs. And we wouldn't be asking any questions. No, we'd be going, holy shit, they got hot dogs now? Yeah, and then we'd tell everyone they got hot dogs now. And then we'd find out that they had 12 hot dogs. Right, yeah, and they ran out. I was going to say, like, when I saw it was 2016, I was like, man, why weren't we doing the show back then?

But then they have them now. So like, we could still get some dogs now. We got to go to this PK, dude. We got to Pokemon Go there. No, I don't know. I'll have to look it up. But I think that they were trying not to like expose it. But they were like, yeah, the boss told us to put a sign out. We have hot dogs now to 59 $2.59. I mean, you get one cheaper Costco, no doubt. And you get a drink. And I don't know if they have Olympic sodas there, but I'm sure you can make one. They would be better. They have water with something in it. Yeah. Yeah, it'll make you get the water with something. Yeah There was like this weird like plastic stuff floating in my drink that made me feel weird and now I can see the walls

I drank it all. Yeah Remember those breath strips? In a follow-up to the story from the last Burger King episode The BK where Mayor Eric Adams had lunch with drug dealers is being sued Oh, no by a local resident who claims that the establishment is allowing drug dealers to run quote an open-air drug bazaar That sounds awesome. The franchise owner says it is not his fault But it is actually the fault of the neighbor that is suing him. I agree This is a good plan actually next time you're being sued hit him with the not on you and see if Joe Biden will have lunch

With you to settle the score corn pop Hey, you sure are letting a lot of those drug dealers sell drugs out of your restaurant. No, man, I think that's on you, dude. Actually, it's your fault. Yeah, actually, they told me. They told me it was you. I asked them what was going on and they actually said that you liked it and thought it was cool that they were doing it.

It actually would be funny though if it was like he was the main drug dealer. I said, fuck. And that guy went, fuck, he's on me. Oh no. Shit. I thought I was getting away with this. It would be funny though if it was like he was the Thought we'd sell drugs in this guy's Burger King, and I would sue him for letting someone sell drugs in his Burger King That's why everything is backfiring Where's Eric Adams get me out of this mess Eric Adams doesn't sit down with the guy suing them No, sir with the guy suing them. Who's the same drug dealer? Haven't we met? He wears a fake mustache.

No sir. Oh fuck he's on to us. I'll fucking scatter. Alright this is the last fact. Alright. We'll rein it in. We're going back almost 20 years for this one. In 2005 Slipknot sued Burger King, claiming that...

How do you pronounce that? Cockrock. Okay, that's what I thought. Cockrock, a fictional band created to sell chicken fries, I remember this band. ripped off their quote, unique look. While this is absolutely true, and they look exactly like Slipknot, so did Mudvane, so who cares?

Iowa sucks. You guys don't get these jokes But there's a guy working at a grocery store listening to this right now fucking fuming BK equals shit It's another that's a little punch at the end. It's also another slipknot joke. Oh, okay. Yeah, cool. Yeah in 2005 Perking at a fictional band called cock rock. Yeah, I did not know that was the band name But it's the one where I like the metal band that's going chicken I understand how can they do that it's spelled coq roq. Yep, but it sounds like cock rock

Yeah, which just sounds like cock. Oh It's just going dude, that's clever Rock yeah, which just sounds like cock. Oh Dude that's clever not to slipknot Who's that? My favorite band is cock rock. Yes, but that is a band that suck cock rock and said we can do And then we're gonna sue him for taking our image Actually it was all your idea who is slipknot. I think they're mudvane. Oh, okay again Some people listening to this that love that shit so mad slipknot is my favorite cock rock cover

It's slipknot is music for people who hung out at the mall But not in a way that was like fun like mall rats Yeah, they hung out a mall that like in a way was like aggressive or like oh, yeah or mad Yeah, they were looking for a place to do that. Yeah, exactly and I know and the mall was it because it was a bat They were yeah, this is where we could just give off a negative aura. Yeah when I went to looking for a place to do that, huh when I went to Yeah When I went to looking for a place to do that huh when I went to Las Vegas mm-hmm to go to that festival. Yeah, they were like they'll like what are the last like headliner They are they are

They played like like the thing was all day, the festival. And they played at like, nine or something? And like, in my head, I'm like, oh, there's going to be less people. Because it's a festival. There's like a billion bands playing all day. Some people are more than happy to show up at 8 o'clock for that. And in my mind, it's like, oh, even if you're here for the headliner, you're gonna be... It's a whole festival. Why would you just come for the... The number of people that increased,

like, there was multiple stages all over the place. I don't remember how many there were, like, four or five at least, kind of, like, sectioned out. Like, two of them were next to each other, but other ones are, like, on opposite sides of the venue, so everyone was crammed in one spot and there was a lot of like grass I mean it was like Astro turf but like grass area and people were sitting because it was hot as shit out and they're sitting all day fucking night came and you just could not see people sitting down anymore

and like that's it every music festival thousand more people showed up for Slipknot and I was just like, this fucking sucks. And it's just like, we're just getting angrier. I was near, near like the front-ish for the band before that and then Slipknot was coming on and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here. Something bad is about to happen. I just need to leave like I don't care And I'm way too far up it took me like 20 minutes to get out of the crowd I could not fucking believe it like how many and I was like I was still pretty popular. Yep What year is it 2005

It's nuts when you go to a festival like that and it like, when I saw, I went to Coachella and I saw like, Dr. Dre in like Tupac hologram or whatever. Oh, you were there for the hologram? Oh yeah, yeah. And that was like- How tall was he? I mean, if everyone's like, normal height, he's like this big. It was very funny, he was very small. The hologram was small? Yeah, usually they're big No, hugger. Maybe be like a groom small. Oh, I thought be like 10 feet tall. No hologram small, huh?

It was very funny really cool. It should have been it should have been way bigger. Yeah, very small The amount of people that showed up when it was like, oh it's time for this headliner out outrage I can only imagine it's our rate up till 11 at Coachella. It was fucking crazy Oh that their radiohead played the other night We just left because I don't know fuck about Radiohead. It was pretty good. Yeah, I don't like Radiohead. But yeah, man festivals nuts crazy. Yeah, I think that's the last place you'd catch me. Yeah, I don't think I just don't think it's our speed But that's okay, and that's Burger King. They were selling speed there. Hell. Yeah now. We're talking Yeah, I might be going to a festival right now. I want they actually had pretty good food there. Oh really yeah That's cool. That's good if it's sold in like an open-air drug bazaar. Maybe I'll check it out. I think they had a tent

Like the chicken state is the chicken stand that had fried chicken. Like fried chicken sandwiches were good. There was like um... Chicken fries! Asian noodle places, little stands, and then I think the drug bazaar was in between them. We got to... see, I wish there was like a fair that came to Austin. I know, we were kind of talking about that. I don't want to go all the way out to Dallas for the fair. I did that once and it was fun, but. It's just but it's a long drive

It's a long drive and you gotta stay somewhere. Yeah, yeah, you can't do that in a day thirsty what you turn around Yeah, I'm thirsty that won't help what come on. It's the quench is thirst fucked up. It's fucked up Maybe we put the refrigerator right there. I think so Tried over and grab a drink. Yeah. He's thinking about it. He likes it. He likes everything. Including that disgusting drink back there.

I'm ready to learn about this Burger King food. I'm ready to learn about this drink. The fiery strawberry and sprite. It's not fiery strawberry sprite. It's an-sprite. Spice level one. Sprite taken up a notch with a fiery strawberry puree. What?

For a refreshing sip with just enough kick to leave you wanting more. An exclusive, first of its kind at BK. Did anyone feel like what they described as your red? No, I felt like it was bad and he liked it. It wasn't that though. It wasn't that though. What was you describing? What was it? if this is inaccurate?

Is that not what it says? He not my ring wasn't you don't think it was a fiery strawberry puree. You just thought it was strawberry and sprite yeah, okay? Don't look on his face. I know I'm back in my Spanish class. It was like a kid covered in mud. Yeah It was like a kid covered in mud. Did you make this mess? No. What? Fiery mozzarella fries, spice level 2.

Okay. Available in 4, 8, and 12 pieces. I got the 8. And they were good. Maybe the 4 made them shitty. The 4 is what fucked us. Fucked by 4. Enjoy the new fry shape.

Could have been the other name of the podcast. Dude, it could mean anything. It could really mean anything. Do something about it. Enjoy the new fry shape in the other name of the podcast Dude it could mean anything it could really mean anything do something about it Enjoy the new fry shaped mozzarella sticks filled with met melty mozzarella cheese and peppers that are fried Until crispy and kicked up a notch with fiery Collette Calabrian Calabrian almost a Caliban Calabrian pepper breading for our ultimate flavor and heat. I'm sorry, were there peppers in them? That's what it says. I did not notice that at all. That's true. I don't think so.

Don't believe it for a second. No, it was cheese. And it was definitely the pepper breading. There was a little bit of a kick, but just enough to make it... Absolutely nothing in there. That's bullshit. No, it was just cheese. Because we saw it two different ways. We saw it stretchy and not filled with peppers.

And then we saw it snappy and not filled with peppers. Right. Yeah. So. Yeah, and I got a good look at what was under the breading on the horse. No peppers. But it was, you know, if the first one's spice level zero,

I would put. Which should have been. Yeah, I would put fiery mozzarella fries. One, I guess. There was at least something to it. And I'm interested to see that the next one is level three. Because the fiery bacon whopper is spice level three. But I thought it was a little spicier than three. But the fiery bacon whopper features quarter pound flame grilled beef with crispy fiery seasoned bacon, pepper jack cheese juicy tomatoes crispy lettuce and

A creamy fiery sauce not zesty. He lied again. Nick's a liar. He's the fucking father of all lies Yeah, but at least zesty That's way worse. Yeah. Oh this one sucks All toasted all on a toasted sesame seed bun. Okay, now we're talking spice level three here I would put it higher. I would definitely put it higher. I think that's because I'm looking ahead I think that's next what's at four. Yes, I agree I want I wouldn't put it higher in the sense of like three isn't good enough, but what is for exactly? Yeah, and I and I think that's the only reason we're saying we would move it

I is one of those and went this sucks and threw it back in and I I Questioned whether I got the fiery version or not me too. I think they might have given us a regular Well, maybe maybe they hit the wrong button. They didn't have it. There's no button to hit then found it yet Yeah, I think they're still over there looking he went ordered then they were like fuck we got to get this button and by the time I had come up they got at least one thing at least one button fiery bacon whopper the least offensive whopper I've ever had in my life yeah blowing review I really was my praise for burger I know it's like that's the least it's ever hurt when you punch me in my yes absolutely

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah the That's why I said this is like taking me around the world because the first thing that I ate after that mozzarella stick Which was like oh fuck man if this is the thing this might be pretty good filled you with hope took a bite of the fiery bacon whopper and went like This might not fucking suck This is like told you with even more. Oh crashing down then boy was I wrong truly It was like better dive in for another delicious mozzarella stick

Truly it's the hope that kills you it is it is oh my god fiery bacon whopper Almost pretty good. Yeah fiery fiery chicken fries, spice level four, however, is available in four, eight, and twelve pieces. The iconic crispy white meat chicken fries are marinated with a fiery seasoning and coated in a savory garlic and pepper breading. No, we didn't get the right ones. I'm pretty sure we just got regular chicken fries.

Yeah. We absolutely did. Yeah. There's no way. Because I remember the color. They look nothing like the mozzarella mozzarella. That's also the first time of my in my life Yeah, that I've had the chicken fries and what did it take going all the way back to 2005 when they first appeared Yeah with cock rock with cock rock. Yeah I was on the road with cock rock. I would refuse to eat the food honestly

What what even like uh-huh? I wasn't sure what I was eating. I thought are these the mozzarella's the again I sort of heard this conversation Yeah, I was in the other room And that's when I walked back and everything and I liked that I slowly caught up because I said the exact You took a bite right I took that but I had the chicken fry and I went What is it how does this taste like nothing? Not nothing it tasted like emptiness yeah, but but like what there was a substance you know what I mean like could have been anything I went I was like is this what tofu yeah, yes It is not bad. No, it is for flavorless. Yes

Nothing uh-huh. It's like breading was like the texture and then chicken Because I'm told it's chicken. Yeah, but no I like I am eating a food. I feel like an alien like pretending. Yes Yeah, I just just now I definitely eating a food. I feel like an alien like pretending to eat and eating food. Yum, digestion. Which is now how I definitely realized they absolutely did not give it fiery. Maybe it is threat level four and we don't know. It could be.

Threat level four. I don't really understand how it would be higher if it's the exact same thing as the mozzarella stick. Right? Oh, cause maybe. The garlic? Maybe the meat is marinated in it and then that I don't know I call bullshit doesn't matter. We didn't get it. No, we don't get it. No, but you know we did you we did get threat level five

Yeah, take us home threat level midnight fiery royal crispy chicken sandwich spice level five This chicken sandwich features a crispy white meat breast fillet coated with a fiery glaze and topped with crispy fiery seasoned bacon pepper jack cheese juicy tomatoes crispy lettuce and creamy fiery sauce all on a toasted bun It was So It was so wet when When you got to like the middle, was yours like squishy? It was already juicing out when I opened it. I was having a flashback with him yelling about things being wet.

It's just like, this is wet, this is so wet, it's so wet. What did you say? He's like, when you bite into it, what's the word you're looking for? I said it's splooched. Oh, that's right, squelch, something like that It's like a

Yeah And I was just eating the chicken sandwich and you guys having these splooch squelch It was wet conversation Well the texture was super weird because it was like Jordan going I don't like the zesty sauce and Nick's like I'll kill you And now we find out it's not the zesty sauce Which is a threat he did not retract after we found out no Okay, all right, you're still dead

The crispy chicken sandwich I wish was crispier and flatter. Yeah, not crispy enough like How crispy was the bacon? Why was it burned all the big Chris? Crispy it wasn't even crispy. It was just black it was it was fucking crazy Yeah, that was so weird But I had some by itself it came out of like the whopper or whatever and I ate it It's all of the heat is from the bacon really all of it the bacon was so hot it was crazy Don't understand this thing. I don't get it. I can't describe what made the crispy check- checkin'?

Chicken sandwich so weird. No, but I did not like it. But I couldn't either because both of you guys were just like, not just like, I don't like it, but you're like, it's just weird. Some- some about the sandwich, Eric's like, I don't trust it. And I was eating it going, I don't-

I mean, it tastes like a sandwich. But it's weird. It's just- it's just- Your descriptors weren't like, this tastes bad. Something's off about it. I don't trust it. Like JD Vance vibes. This chicken sandwich should not vote. It likes couches. The thing about Burger King we were talking about before we started recording was when there's other fast food that we have, I'll put it down and I'll keep coming back to it and like I'll

nibble some and I'll nibble some and I'll nibble some. Each thing that I kind of like moved on to, I just put it down, I went and I think that's the end of that part of the meal and there was no real coming back except that I had to know what the fiery whopper was again at the end and I bit it and I went again, least offensive whopper I've ever eaten. I was in a similar boat to the point where I was done with it, but also I was like I Don't I need to know more so I went back for the chicken sandwich and again. I was just like Strange yeah, yeah, but I did go back to the whopper a couple times. I'd be like I didn't know you turns I just all the way you weren't like racing parking lot driving the unit

Or Nick not waiting outside for All right, let's read this press material running behind yeah, we're behind schedule quote We know that our guests with a capital G crave spice packed full of flavor spice packed full of flavor Spice packed full of flavor spice packed full of flavor When they come to BK, but spice looks different for everybody says Pat O'Toole chief marketing officer Why'd you laugh Burger King North America? I don't think it was. Well that was Mario. I don't know what it was. Oh man. Has a brand that is built on letting guests with a capital G, quote, have it your way.

We're excited to offer a range of products that appeal to everyone. From those who want just a little kick, to those who can't get enough heat. So how come I only knew about the spice levels because of the paper? I know right? There's no indication whatsoever that there's spice levels They weren't even labeled on them There weren't even buttons! Nope Um, he could have went with from those who want just a little kick to those who want to get their ass kicked

That would have been good That would have been good dude They should have had one thing on there that was like Patotool fucking rules They should have one thing on here that is like insurmountably hot and then it is that It's like, you want- Oh, you want you want it your way, we're gonna have you our way. We're gonna have our way with you. Perking's fucked up dude.

Dude, one of these fast food restaurants just needed like dive into that. Just go for it one time. Just do like a liquid death kind of thing where like they just change their whole branding and marketing to like being super, not funny edgy, but just like, we'll fucking kill your grandma. And that's why we've got to kill your grandma. Put her in a mess. Wait, I thought you said not funny edgy.

Yeah. And that's why we've got to bring back Cock Rock. Guys, that's sort of what we think about Burger King. Our review's still to come, but we want to know what you think in a segment we call, You Review. Who wants to go first? I guess I will. Okay. I don't know. I feel like you decide. But we want to know what you think in a segment we call you review Who wants to go first? I? Guess I will okay. I don't know I feel like you're yeah I'll leave the string either go or you tell me to go Erica T says This sounds like a like a disguise Eric is putting on no no I'm not Eric. I'm Eric Erica T says I came here the other day because I wanted to experience some nostalgia. Oh no.

Oh no. This is already a problem. And what'd she get? What I got was Shat-On. The burger tasted nothing like how Burger King used to taste five years ago. Yes it did. The fries were cold and mushy and the Dr. P tasted like watered down soda. The building itself looked run down

and the experience proved this this was a sad experience this is all Burger King's also literally yeah no go ahead it's all burger oh yeah yeah just what you described yeah it's also I'm curious how old Erica T is uh-huh yeah because they said I wanted to experience some nostalgia and then said it's not like it was five years ago I bet it's exactly the same. Yeah, it's just fucking so you're just not 17 anymore You're different Burger King isn't you can you imagine like like a 10-year retrospective if we go this far with Gracie? Retrying foods that she ate awesome, and she would just be like this is repulsive. Yeah, absolutely I'm rolling around and I'm like a pig.

You guys, I'm oinking. You guys didn't do that. And it's always her going, me, it's me going, I understand. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about them, or him, or you. When she's like, well, I go to Skit Factory all the time. That's fine. You're like 22.

Yes. That's fine. It's weird. If Eric invited me, I would be annoyed. Yeah Yeah, it's your frontal cortex is almost done. Give it give it a couple more years You really figure it out. There is there is a double standard. I would say even a standard. It's just two different lifetimes I the first domino to fall for her will be for solis. Oh, yeah Yeah, I'd be like why does this taste so bad?

It's always been bad. Dude, do you think one day we'll see a Gracie on You Review? I gotta ask her if she ever wrote a review. Used to come here all the time. What's up? She hates Vizzolis. She hates Vizzolis? Yeah, remember?

No, I don't remember. She likes everything. She likes crap like you. She would stop at it on road trips. Get to the next You Review. We have're just we can't get out of the new idea. He's like cut guys She hates it cut this part cut this part brother who likes it. I'm saving you in the edit. Don't I'll take it out I got you. I got you. Why do you know that why because she's the only wrong about that? That's it. You heard it here. She's only wrong about everything. Everything else she's ever known, she's been right about, including hating chocolate.

Oh, no, never mind. No, she's only wrong about Fizzoli's. You heard it here, Fizzoli. I love it, I love it. Just hold them to the fire. No, it's so good. I heard it here. Everything else is right. Okay. Ira M. says, went in to get two Whopper meals and they had no drinks to serve.

This would have been fine if they would have discounted the meals the price of the drinks. This location shares a 7-Eleven, but nope, either pay our price drink that we have or take your money somewhere else. Well, since I couldn't have it my way at BK, I sure did exactly that. I put on these boots are made for walking by Nancy Sinatra Parentheses if you know you know and pranced my tail right out of there And the people working there could not wait for Everyone in 7-eleven cheer. Yeah, they all stood up and they clap they were standing on the counters I got I'm gonna be out rated section a guy in a suit followed me out and said I'm an LA Hollywood

You got the best Kid you got the goods If you know you know what this is the picture is it a Description of the line from the song on the song and then going if you get the inside reference Do you get it? Um fucking crazy. I never really understood what the ick was. Uh-huh. You got it now, baby Whoa, yeah, I reik for you. Uh huh. Until this fell. Got it now, baby. Whoa. Yeah, I re-ick. Pretty good.

It's like all over me. Yeah. If you know, you know. Hey, if I couldn't have it my way at BK, then that's exactly what I did. And I put on this song. And then I walked out to the. So basically, the ravine, by the way, was they got two

Whopper meals, and they had no drinks. And they're saying they didn't discount the drinks Yeah, which really makes no sense. No, you could just you get a refund. Yeah, and then like by also by the whoppers Yeah, by by the whoppers and like one large fry, right? They go from salt these boots are made for whoa. I know I know I know No, I don't tell me He's not in on the joke. Last year review, this one's good. Hamid H.

I'm not a seasoned Yelper at this point, but I feel like everyone should have a review of some dumpster fast food joint that everyone knows about. I picked Burger King because I think I hate it more than the others. Excellent. And, you gave it one star. Straight to the point. Right.

Straight to the point. Thank you. Thank you. We made probably one of the best reviews we've ever read. I absolutely agree. I saw that one and I went, that's great. You know Hamid, I think I hate Burger King more than the others too. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, what was your bad experience? Nothing. I went there and I ate there. Sucks one star. Sucks one star. Have a nice day. Burger King, the worst. I put periods in my sentences and I capitalized everything. Yup. Goodbye.

Uh-huh. Thank you. Have a good day. But that's their review. Now it's time for your review, guys. What do you think, Jordan, of the Burger King fiery menu? I want to review and rate my car mozzarella sticks 90% okay, that's good going into this. That's good great understand that

So if I were to take this bit by bit here, mm-hmm the strawberry the fire strawberry and sprite yeah You want me to put these numbers together and average them out? No, no, no, okay'm going to talk about all of them. I refuse to give five numbers. I'm just making sure. I don't want to give one. I got sick of that four years ago. Oh, you're drinking it! I'm just so thirsty. It's not helping. I want to trick my mouth into thinking wet is good. Wet is good.

Wasn't good for the chicken sandwich. You guys are having fits over it. It's not the craziest soda I've ever had I get I get not good. I get your point about like some sodas are super dumb But a strawberry sprite it wasn't too offensive, and it wasn't spicy so all it really was was strawberry mm-hmm Yeah, but shouldn't that offend you because then it's false advertising Yeah, but if but if it's not being spicy, I'm okay with it. Oh, and if it's your needs. That makes sense.

Yeah, I'll bend over backwards for this narrative, sure. I'm still right here? Okay, we're good. The mozzarella fries, dog shit, awful, probably the worst thing I've ever eaten, and unsettling to look at when you pull them apart. I wish I had tried some of Michael's. Oh dude, they were so good. They were so fucking good. It's fucked up. That really missed out. They were great. The fiery bacon whopper, least offensive, therefore the best whopper I've ever had. I'm in agreement. Whoppers in general are too big. Even if they were good, I don't

want that much of that food. I don't want good, I don't want that much of that food. I don't want that. I don't want that much Burger King. I hate when we got out of the car in front of the Burger King and it smelled like Burger King outside. Immediately you opened the door and you just went, oh it already smells like Burger King. That's why I also... ...fucking flame-boiled bullshit. I've been taking Carbur boxes out because we actually have recycling dumpsters.

The second we got in here today and I saw Burger King piling up in the trash, I've been taking cardboard boxes out. Oh, yeah, we actually have like recycling dumpsters the second We got in here today, and I saw Burger King piling up in the trash. I was like where's the trash dumpster? This place is not smelling like fucking Burger King after today No chicken fries also bad if they were spicy they were fucking terrible. Yeah, they sucked ass What I the first one I pulled out was not even a fry it was shaped like a J Yeah, oh he went oh J for Jordan whoa. Yeah, it's pretty cool or he's Zeus Eric Eric's that one. It was shaped like an F Yeah, fuck you what the fuck? This was like spit they did that one on purpose. Oh, yeah, that's soggy looking guy here

Here's uses your sweet and sour sauce for this asshole And then the crispy chicken sandwich again no other way to describe it but very weird yeah not even that spicy the the the sauce on the whopper really came through yeah how the fuck is that five I don't get it I would say the whopper whopper was the spiciest one yeah and so on the whole it's very disappointing and it's gonna get a little bit of a bump for that whopper, but it's not gonna save it from being a 43 oh wow okay percent

The mozzarella sticks chicken fries are fucking terrible. I hate the soda It was the least offensive whopper The mozzarella sticks, chicken fries are fucking terrible. I hate the soda. It was the least offensive whopper. Still not good. My first thought, like, I go to lots of fast food places in my spare time. I don't know that I really have a favorite. I have like the most convenient. I go to McDonald's a lot.

I could not help, I could not help, just the first bite, just go, I would rather eat five other burgers Like if this were a quarter pounder this were a Big Mac this were a fucking Wendy's burger Not Sonic Sonic sucks don't eat their burgers But like just any other fast-food burger. I'm like it's even as I agree. It was the best tasting whopper I've had it's just like it still sucks. Yeah, it, it's just like I don't want this. I don't want this So I had that less with the chicken sandwich. I didn't find it squelty or weird um It was fine we came up with it was fine I'm I find it entertaining especially now the fact that I'm right in the middle of you two yeah where you

Were further out for me and so now I'm right in the middle of you two. Yeah, where you were further out for me And so now I'm in the cross-section. Yeah of like this is wet. It's pretty wet It's not good. It's not good. I can't even really describe it. It's just so it's kind of squelchy it goes And I'm just looking at Nick and you See this is different this is different that's like doing it to annoy you. And then there's Gracie. Oh, can you still see me? Oh, was I still alive?

And I blinked out there for a second. Let me put this mask on and just hold this. Dude, fucking crazy. If you, if you are not on Patreon, if you are not a Grackle or above, you are missing out. If you watched the the Gracie episode last week, and you have not watched the Michael Jordan podcast with her,

It is such a tone shift. It's like she's about to become a murderer. I got kicked off. Like serial killer vibes. Yes. She's totally different. I said, and I very rarely use this word because I enjoy it and usually when other people are doing it It's like it's kind of awkward. I was like this is the most bizarre awkward Energy I've ever felt in this show with Gracie, and it's like She put the monkey mask on and was like Yeah, and then went I spent a lot of time down here.

I said in the show, I was like, it feels like she thinks she's invisible. Because it was, there's no other way to explain it. You have to watch it. You have to, it's so fucking nuts. It is so fucking weird. And that's when Jordan was just like 15 minutes of it. And he was just like, I just can't,

I can't take this anymore. I can't, I just need, I need it to end. It was so crazy. We gotta play a word game. Putting the microphone in her mouth and pulling it out without the pop filter 50 times 50 times just would not stop shoving the microphone into the monkey mouth and talking and then I don't know if this made it to The end of the episode or not or if it was right afterwards I think maybe it was still in the episode because she took it off like right before it ended and she goes I felt like I couldn't hear you guys in there and I go yeah cuz you're wearing something on your fucking head

You didn't feel like that. That's how it was And it was like 1030 at night. Yeah. Yeah, it was like 1030 night and Jordan's like looking under the wands like I gotta go home Please God you have to watch it was really something anyway. What's your score? Yeah anyway? um Please God you have to watch it was really something anyway. What's your score? Yeah anyway? Thirty okay percent I Was being too nice you were being way too nice thirty six point five doesn't deserve Okay, thirty six. That's fine. Thirty six point five covered for your job. I felt like you were maybe a little too nice Yeah, I may have compensated a little bit. Yeah, that's okay Yeah, that's why we do this. That's why we do this. Yeah. Oh

Jordan's entitled to his opinion, but sometimes I go I'm gonna have to sway it a little bit Yeah, yeah, he's got he's gonna regret it later. Yeah, you got me to the right spot Yeah, if this comes out in the 40s, he's gonna be upset with 15 years ago But that's that's a review of the fireman never would have reviewed like was 15 years ago. But that's a review of the fireman. Michael never would have reviewed like that five years ago. I wanted a little bit of nostalgia. Okay, do we have a 100% fan?

We do. Who's that? This message is from Nick McKay, who I assume is the same Nick McKay that sent the very poor taste comfort toy. I thought it was in great taste, dude. It looked expensive too for cinnamon Why is the fork in its eye dude that's fucked fuck fuck it's done Yeah, it's heart is beating. Oh now you're making jokes now that she's not here She said it's okay. Yeah, yeah, nobody wanted to ask her about it hell no

No, she said it was okay. Yeah. Yeah, nobody wanted to ask her about it. Hell no All right, so Nick. Yep, Nick paid a hundred dollars. Yes at least. Yeah to write this message Raid Shadow Legends is an immersive RPG title it's got an amazing storyline awesome 3d crack that's giant boss fights PvP battles and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect I've been sitting on this one for so long that fucking rule and I only decided to read it because he's sitting in that fucking rules dude I'm So okay with that. That's the funniest thing that you could do with this thing that is so fucking funny

That's way to go other people will try to do it and maybe it will still be just as fun Maybe it'll be like we're not doing that. Yeah, but you were the first. Oh, that was fucking great Dude hammering Gracie for her unfortunate passing on a dog and then doing that. Oh man Where'd he go? He's jumped to the top of the board on like funniest fan. Dude, he's... That's what happens when you get on the tier. This is why we need more of the most sicko-ists. Look, there'll be stuff written on the bonkers board.

We gotta have sections. We got the bonkers board coming. Guys, that was our 100% fan shout out. And you can sign up to be a 100% fan at patreon.com slash 100% eat. That's also where you can see the Michael Jordan podcast every episode that we've done. You can also watch the 90 second video of these two drinking Olympic sodas. Putting that out. Yeah, there you go. I was on my phone in the background. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're hanging out on the way the other side. I'm looking forward to watching it. Yeah, you can also go to store.100% eat.com. Grab some merch. Does it work? 100% each shirt. Yes, it does. Yeah, it still works. Just don't put H-E-T-P-S. Yeah. Just a regular just a regular one it works or you can go to 100% eat.myshopify.com either way just longer yeah yeah but patreon.com slash 100% eat is where you want to stay up to date with everything follow us at 100% eat on Twitter on Instagram you can send us stuff to the P.O. Box yeah P.O. Box 1432 41 Austin

Texas 78714 P.O. Box 1432 41 Austin Texas 78714 P.O. Box 1432 41 Austin Texas 78714. We did our first 100 percent treat which went up on our YouTube channel at the time of this coming out and it's fucking great. I don't think it's out yet. Yeah. Right. You said the 10th. Yeah. It would have come out last Saturday. Okay. Yeah. What's today's date? Today would be what, like the 13th or like the 14th or something? Oh fuck, so it wasn't this 12th. No, no. Or, or is it? Uh-oh!

It was those all the 13th. Okay. Shit. Uh, so... He doesn't remember. Oh no! Go back and watch that. It's like a 30-minute bonus podcast.

Speaking of bonus podcasts, we did put out that... Taco Cabana. It's like 44 30 minute bonus podcast. Speaking of bonus podcast, we did put out that taco cabana. It's like 44 minutes or something. It's a part of Jordan going, there's no way this is the longest one. And it is. Surely we haven't been here that long. And we have.

And so we put it out. You watch the video on YouTube, but if you just want to listen to it, it's on the internet. It's mostly a listen anyway. Yes it is. That's why we put it out that way. It's like 90% listen.

Yeah. So that's good. Which in Ohio, it's a chicken wing. That's why you put it out like 90% listen. Yeah, so that's good, but that'll do it in Ohio It's a chicken wing. Yeah That'll do it for this episode rate subscribe tell a friend about the show Please do where we eat food and rate the food. Goodbye an hour and ten minutes long one. I know dude Gracie levels It's the residuals. Yeah, it's a residual Gracie and Burger King, and they really got it hard and so did Eric Yeah, it's a residual Gracie and Burger King and they really got it hard and so did Eric

Quick pan up to the thing Now or don't that's fine. I'll get it after and then we'll just stick after what the show well He doesn't want to move it. I don't want to fuck the camera Hi, yes, okay you do it Thank you. Thank you. It's for the crown. Thank you. How could you fuck it up? DK, have it your way.

Thank you. You rule. Monkey, monkey, crown wearing monkey. He's got a crown and he's a monkey. Dicks and dick. Oh, my god.