100% Eat - Boston Market Tuscan Chicken & Chicken Marsala

Episode Date: December 8, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Boston Market Tuscan Chicken & Chicken Marsala so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about if the hang over of Snack Friday, sides selections, coming up with new stream ideas, and more. Sponsored by DoorDash (DoorDash app, enter code FACEJAM) and Hawthorne (http://hawthorne.com and use code face jam) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. Echo. Thanks for presenting Partners Sun Life. The world is yours to create. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it, you probably do.

Thanks to DoorDash and Hawthorne for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside, digitally, my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you today? Pak the ka and havidyad. We're going to Boston Market. Right to it. Impeccable. Impeccable accent. Yeah, that's how they all talk.

You like apples? Okay, well, if you didn't guess, today we're reviewing Boston Market's Tuscan Chicken and Chicken Marsala. He was, Ben Affleck was the bank robber.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Right, in the town, and she didn't know he was like it was me how would she not know how would she not know was she i don't know it was in the script that she didn't know i get it i'm just saying like if you're looking at this like a practical situation it just yeah i mean if you're looking at a practical situation how are we for the first time in a long time, sitting in our homes, we're not in cars, we're not next to each other,

and we still don't have the ability to play the music through our headphones, and Nick holds up a phone to his microphone. I told you. I told you before it started, where you said, Nick, can you play the song? Like, you have the ability, right?

And he went, oh, yeah. And I went, he's playing off his phone. He's 100% he's playing it off his phone. That's crazy. Remember when we would record in a studio and it would come through crystal clear?

Yeah, we could have done that now. Right into our heads and the energy just like, it was a direct injection that pumped us up and got the show going. And now- Sometimes I couldn't even start because I was so pumped. Because it was so loud and you'd have to scream.med me out man it really bummed me out we've

we've listened to eric botch the intro what are you so many times from our cars i thought i thought today was going to be different yeah and um i was glad he played it over his phone now. Yeah, I know you are. Oh, oh, the Departed. Jesus Christ. Oh, God, one more. One more in there. Just fucking kill me. Did you see? That's the best part.

Oh, that's, I identify with that character the most. Michael, we talked about this. The part in The Departed where Leonardo DiCaprio has Matt Damon in the elevator, and Matt Damon's like, you're so fucked. You're so fucked. You're so. What are they going to do?

They're not going to believe you. You're so fucked. And then it's quiet for just like five seconds. And Matt Damon just goes, just fucking shoot me. Just fucking shoot me. I've never identified with a character. I like I feel that it's like, yeah, I'm on top of the world. I should be fucking dead. So I'm on top of the world I should be fucking dead

so I'm excited about Boston Market got it yeah they're they're big fans Ben Affleck and Matt Damon they're Canadian right yeah that's why they talk so funny yeah they came down with Ryan Reynolds. They came down. You know, the buses come down. They came down on the, uh. They go, you know. And they get on the bus and, uh, they're like, fresh new comedians here. Do they yell all aboard for a bus? In Canada, they do.

Oh, it's different. Yeah. They don't have trains in Canada, just buses. Mm-hmm. Makes sense. Yeah. Anyway, um, Boston Market, it's what we ate. It's what we're talking about.

What's your past experience with said restaurant, Boston Market? What do you like or don't like about it? As you can tell by all the great Boston themed jokes I made, I know nothing about Boston Market or Boston itself. Noises into a microphone might be a little more apt. I know nothing about Boston Market. Or Boston itself. Noises into a microphone might be a little more apt. I've been to Boston once. That's about it. My favorite Boston memory was walking down the street.

It was for Pax East. And Eric, I was walking down the street with you because you were there with Mega64. And we walked by this bar or something and somebody outside just goes hey yo you get tino's snapchat and then eric just goes get me the fuck out of here boston isn't a city that i enjoy it's not it's not my favorite place in the world it's uh it's it really it thinks a lot of itself for a place that if it was in any other place at

any other time, it would just be like, this city kind of fucking sucks. Like it's not, I don't know. You go to like Chicago and you're like, there's a lot happening here. There's like stuff going around.

And then you go to Boston and you're just like, well, it's on the water. Yeah. But they're like, Hey, we fucked up that tea. They did.

They won't let you forget it. We dumped the shit out of that. Paul Revere, Tom Brady. Bunch of broskies got up in the middle of the night and they were like, fuck that tea, dude. Chucked it. Facking chucked this tea into the harbor.

Dude, grab that in, dude. Grab that in. Pour it in the water. The accent that's so ubiquitous with Boston belongs to union workers, who I'm afraid of, and police, who I am also afraid of. Oh, okay. Those are the only people with that accent.

One other quick Boston story. Pax East still. We're packing up at the end of the convention And we're like a pallet short And if you fucking think you can go up And take a pallet From like Do any work

Take any work away from a union laborer At this convention center You will get your knees broken So we happen to see But we happen to see a do it but we we happen to see a pallet just sitting there that no one's touching and uh jack who is a co-worker of mine and i think a friend of michael's i know uh uh he he uh points his pallet out to a worker walking by and he goes no one's using this pallet like can we grab this and the guy looks at it for

a second looks back at jack and goes i don't see any fucking pallet and walks away it's like and jack just goes okay and he goes and grabs the pallet i just like that that's like i didn't see nothing yeah like that guy and he even knew like i'll throw you a bone he's like look man i didn't see fucking nothing you're talking about a piece of wood exactly but that would that would could kill you you could die over that it's like it's like you saw some sort of crime being committed like i didn't see anything oh that wood over there what wood well anyway remember this day forever it was the most mobster shit now you can put boxes of unsold t-shirts on top of this and plastic wrap it you're welcome you're welcome anyway that's everything i know about boston market that's it i i agree a lot yeah um that's a lot of stuff michael have you had much b Market? I've had it. I don't know.

Not frequently, but enough times. To me, it was the... Boston Market really sells itself as the family restaurant. To me, Boston Market is like, hey, you want a good home-cooked meal. You think your mom's cooking or your grandmother's cooking where you've got chicken or turkey or mashed potatoes and all the sides and it's all fresh and homemade.

Well, you're too fucking lazy for that. Just come here and we'll put it in a plastic tray. Yeah. Because it's like, it's kind of unique to me in at least the fast food it represents, right? Because most fast food is fast food, right? When you go to McDonald's, you know you're getting McDonald's,

unless you're a fool. You wouldn't compare McDonald's to some sort of regular burger. It's just like slop fast food. KFC chicken, Popeye's chicken. It's like fast food chicken. Boston Market attempts to be real food. It looks like real food. Right.

It's the fast food equivalent. It's the old, I'm having people over for Thanksgiving, buy Boston Market, put it on the plates, and then throw away all the containers and stuff. It looks real. So to me, it was always- Like you couldn't pass off fazoles as like, oh at this italian food i made because it looks like fast food italian exactly exactly boston market like they got the cornbread there's like 10 different sides you know they have whole chickens half chickens turkeys like all that kind of stuff i ate so many sides today yeah it was a lot i'm getting i'm getting full i'm getting full uh

but it was kind of like to me like the classy place as a kid it's not very classy but it was i know there was this idea of classy you know we're like oh oh boston oh this isn't this isn't fried chicken this is real chicken this is real turkey there's something about it being like a rotisserie chicken that for some reason gives it some sort of like elegance isn't the right word, but there's like there's just like a step above. It's like an air of elegance. Yeah, exactly. But it's not real. But yeah, but then you go there and nothing has changed since 1997.

And you're just like, what? Like, what is this? Going inside was interesting. One, there was no one there. Three people working in an entirely empty restaurant. And I don't know if this is because of the pandemic. I don't know if Boston Market just isn't very popular in Austin, Texas. I can imagine it's a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.

But yeah, when I walked in, people were excited that somebody walked in. And I'm like, I'm just here for an online order. And strangely, they asked for my name. And I said, Jordan. And they're like, that one. excited that somebody walked in and I'm like I'm just here for an online order and strangely they asked for my name and I said Jordan and they're like that one and they point behind me to a table that has it was like did was there another order you were you could have thought it was so you got there a little later than we did because when I went that table was filled with orders there were more than a half dozen people inside the restaurant no way and they it was like hopping like i left and i i said out loud how were there so many fucking people at boston market that's insane crazy it was crazy

you missed the rush i guess yeah the rush ends at 12 30 there were like four cars in the drive-thru there were a half dozen people inside it was in all these online orders it was nuts it was i guess it's a lunch place it's a hearty ass lunch place let me tell you i'm like i'm a little sleepy that's why i got this coffee and it's like the only thing keeping me going because that's that was heavy that That was a heavy fucking meal and a lot. You know, we're we're talking about we're thinking about the Tuscan chicken and chicken Marsala, which we got the three piece of. But. I don't know about you.

I just got the meals. So they also each came with two sides. And then I also ordered an extra syrup side yeah so i got with one of them i got double mac and cheese but one of my children stole one of the mac and cheese as soon as it showed up that's what they do um but you know what again that's why i go hey at least i got two it was a freebie. And then I got mashed potatoes. Then I got spinach. So that's not something you can get a lot of places. And it was not bad.

It was a weird cream to it. But my point is, I'm about to explode. And then as Jordan was just talking, I started eating more chicken. You were munching. You were munching on chicken. I saw it. It's sitting right next to me, man. It's tough. Oh, dude. And they give you cornbread for each one yeah i didn't i didn't eat the cornbread oh that was that's heavy blow up that's why i got the cup of coffee because it

went really good with that cornbread that was uh i got mashed potatoes i got the mac and cheese uh i went sweet corn and vegetable stuffing with the other one okay i think the vegetable stuffing was pretty good damn i got the same as you but instead because instead of the vegetable stuffing they have cilantro lime rice and i went i gotta try that's what they do at chipotle this can't even be close to that but i almost got that vegetable stuffing so i got the cilantro lime rice and it was just it was white rice with like some cilantro they chopped up in it. This can't even be close to that, but I almost got that vegetable stuffing. So I got the cilantro lime rice and it was just, it was white rice with like some cilantro they chopped up in it, but you can't taste anything. So I just ate white rice like an idiot.

Damn, dude. Did you pour any gravy on it? No, they gave me gravy, but I forgot about it. Oh, no. Oh, is that what this is? Yeah. It's for the mashed potatoes. Yep. That's why you got it. Yeah, the chicken was i was gonna put it on my side yeah you still can oh what could it be find out you'll find out you'll find out

later so you haven't eaten it yet no okay well i like it you answered for him i'm unclear the rules always change and i'm unclear whether or not i'm supposed to eat it well i'm talking to the person that's gonna rate the syrup sides which wouldn't be you i thought maybe you were asking nick um and you're like did you eat my syrup side nick how'd you do that um this is going nowhere what feels weird well we can learn do you want to learn about the restaurant yeah yeah i do want to. I do want to learn. I just want to say, like, it's convenient to do from our living quarters, right? Not have to pack everything up and go on the road and say goodbye to our families and deal with battery packs and all that. But it's just not the same as sitting in a car staring, you know, like looking eye to eye.

Like right now when you go, I don't know who you're looking at. You know who I was looking at. I'd either be looking straight ahead, probably at you, or I'd be turned to my side looking at Jordan. Depending on the lighting. We'll have to do some sort of marker system where you can see like who I'm looking at.

If I have like one eye open, I'm looking at. If I have this eye open, I'm looking at. Just get a laser pointer. That'll shine through the windows. I'll shine it in my own eyes. Sure, you could do that too. Whatever. Then I'll never see anything ever again.

These are all ideas. But we don't need ideas right now. We need facts. Love it. Let's get on to the Boston Market facts. Founded in 1985, Boston Market when IPO in 1993 what? it's founded

went went oh you didn't write that he also used he also used the wrong possessive it's

I noticed that also start let's start it's okay this is the real fact so take two that's fine

take two but make sure take one stays in yeah I thought it was because of my drink I just had before we started. It's just what you wrote. Founded in 1985, Boston Market went IPO in 1993 and doubled its stock price on its very first day of trading.

Whoa. What did it open it at? I don't remember, but it closed way high up over 140 percent that like that eclipse like chipotle when it went ipo later uh other restaurants have gone ipo and haven't touched what boston market did on day one in 1993 day one boston market fucking making cash. Can you believe that? Yeah, making cash. This is crazy.

Very well. Very promising future. Looking good. Sky's the limit in 1993. Fact number two, Boston Market filed for bankruptcy in 1998 because, quote, grocery stores started selling rotisserie chicken. I had similar bankruptcy issues with my failed business venture. I'll drive you around while I talk to you about my movie,

about my life that has been seriously so crazy. It should really be a movie. And that's why I'm writing it. What's your email? Because Uber came in and destroyed me. I thought it was this catchy name and nobody, nobody took me up on it. What's that acronym to me?

Someone will have to figure it out, but I'm not gonna again. That's why i had to file for bankruptcy there's two reasons five years yeah could you believe that like they went doubling their stock price and then all of a sudden 1998 and they just went we're fucked we're fucked well sounds like they either got too big for their britches or they were already desperate and they were like, we'll go IPO and maybe it'll like cover some of our debts. And it wasn't enough. They were making a lot of money and then they went IPO and they're making a ton. money that they would get from their franchisees as pure profit instead of like yeah instead of like this is the foundation of our business and we're growing slowly they're just like all this money coming in is just profit and then they didn't help their franchisees and then five years

later boom bankrupt and they had to they had to shut like more than half their like half their stores at that point damn yeah tell me. Tell me about your movie, Eric. Oh. Listen, my life is so crazy, guys. It's so wild. It's just like all these things happen to me all the time, and that's why I haven't written it yet, but it's just like all these good ideas.

Yeah, and it's just like when I tell people about it, they go, oh, that should be a movie, and I'm constantly telling people about it you see playing playing the main character oh anyone ben wow like matt oh so there's like a boston yeah ryan reynolds yeah oh yeah it's canadian thing yeah all of them are canadian like rick moranis maybe rick moranis is back. Somebody's punching him in the head. Yeah.

Oh, it's okay. They got him. They got that guy. They got him. Michael B. Jordan. Canadian, huh? Yeah, something different. I didn't know that. In 2000, McDonald's purchased Boston Market with the intent of gutting locations and using the real estate for other businesses,

like buying a racehorse to sell it to the glue factory. However, McDonald's found that Boston Market was still viable and continued to operate the business for seven years like finding out your glue horse has a couple of races left in him and knowing you can always turn him into glue later.

A bad move? Nay. I had no idea McDonald's owned them. Yeah. Do they still own them? No, they only owned them for seven years. It's seven years after 2000 was 2007. Yep.

2000 to 2007, McDonald's was like, McDonald's came in and said, we'll just buy all this play. Like they got real estate and shit. And I think it was going to be- Look at these idiots who overexpanded. me just take their locations i think what they were gonna do was come in take it and not turn it into like mcdonald's but turn into like chipotle's probably um you know because it like you walked into the boston market and has a very like chipotle like

here's the sneeze guard here's where all the food goes like that kind of bullshit and it's like we'll just repurpose this into Chipotles. And then they went, oh, I guess people still want to buy this stupid slop. So sell it to them, I guess. They could just go to a grocery store. The fact that their business was undone by Vons selling rotisserie chickens is just like, wow, Kroger sells chickens? I'm never going to boston market again gotta say went to got a lot of rotisserie chickens growing up from from uh albertsons and

the like never boston market the thing is they're not they don't just sell them they're pre-cooked you just grab them and go you know you just eat them they're just sitting there under the warm light ready to go. You look for the sticker that has the most recent timestamp on it. Uh-huh. Yep. That's almost like cooking it yourself. Boston Market is the number two selling Thanksgiving restaurant in the United States,

which makes it impossible to get it delivered on the week of Thanksgiving, even though you're doing a Thanksgiving podcast for the third or fourth year in a row and everyone knows about it but still can't make it happen sarah oh what's that about uh just thinking just thinking out loud putting it together just that's a is that a thing i feel like that what thanksgiving podcast are you on, Eric? I think that's been a thing since before she even started. Nick is saying yes. Let's just say Nick and I, we work on some other shows. And you wouldn't know about them. And there's no need to know about them.

Sounds like you're getting off topic. There's been a little bit, yeah. But I'm going to keep it on track, though. about them sounds like you're getting off topic there's been a little bit yeah but i'm gonna i'm gonna keep it on track though there's been this is this is this is relevant because it's about boston market it's they've said hey we're doing thanksgiving do you want anything boston market because going back to what i said it's kind of the air of like oh this is this is classy yeah we'll do boston market okay cool day day of no i can't get b. Day of. No, I can't get Boston Market. What do you mean you can't get?

They sell food. That's what they do. Like, oh, I guess it's too late. Whatever. All right, whatever. 11 months later. Hey, Thanksgiving. Have a Boston Market.

Try again. Got it. We're a month early. Month later. No, I couldn't get it. What do you mean you couldn't get it? Don't they sell food? Who's getting it?

It's like PS5 restocks. Like, who's getting? A bunch of bots are getting turkey? Like, who's like ps5 restocks like how who's getting a bunch of bots are getting turkey like who's getting the fucking food boston market they're the playstation 5 of thanksgiving restaurants it's tough i i make i make so much money doing thanksgiving scalping but yeah just buy up all the turkeys you and all all of the single divorcee dads who are trying to make a special day. A special day for their kids. Come to me when they need their turkey.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's up with that. I don't know what's up with that. We should get to the bottom of it. I hear Popeye's does a deep fried turkey. Yeah. This is, I mean, this isn't bad you know we're we're shooting this on december 1st so it's almost like we had it on thanksgiving it's close although you know we did

get it ourselves it's not really the same thing get your order in for december for thanksgiving 2022 do it just just go ahead two years yeah just in case uh pivoting its business strategy boston market partnered with the army and air force exchange service there's no pause there i just added one to put restaurants on bases across the world imagine eating boston market before getting shipped off to war what a last meal jesus one last last taste of America before I go. I mean, they probably eat after they leave, you know, like rations or something. Yeah.

Are they Boston Market rations? I don't know if that's a thing. That'd be a good government contract to get. I cannot fathom you can do anything with this food

that'll make it last longer than a few hours. Okay? Just add water, dehydrate it. I got it, I got it, like, hot and fresh and i felt like the shelf life was dissipating quickly yeah no kidding and those are just the facts do we learn a lot do you guys learn a lot about boston market i learned some i don't feel like i learned a lot there was

a lot there not a lot of boston facts it was there wasn't a ton there there was a lot there you learned about mcdonald's stuff you learned about um bankruptcies you learned about ios there was only five facts there's one was just like the boring one which you always do it's not boring it's a fact about there's like four interesting ones but then one was like a throwaway nonsense about another podcast so that one doesn't really count so really you had three you had three facts so it was a little light five i think there were five facts right i mean no i don't i don't disagree five strong facts and those are just the strong five strong you i mean you you all you escalated

even from five facts which is debatable to, to strong facts, which is just... Five excellent facts about Boston. You keep upselling them. They're great facts. They're fantastic facts. Five unimpeachable facts. Five facts. I win.

Recount them all you want. There's five. Have they ever done any collaboration with Dunkin' Donuts or something? Or does Boston Market you can recount them all you want there's five have they ever done any like collaboration with like dunkin donuts or something or does boston market not live in the northeast culture as much as like dunkies does um i i wouldn't say that it's as much as duncans but i certainly was aware of them i mean well well enough i mean i i kind of feel like my, my metric is like, if there's stuff in New Jersey and there's stuff here in Texas, it's probably everywhere. Yeah.

It's like, well, it's just in Jersey and Texas. It's really weird. You know, that's kind of the, the signal of like nationwide. I'd love to see a Venn diagram of the things that are only in New Jersey and Texas. Yeah. But I would but I would agree. Like, Dunkin', that's definitely a staple. I don't think Boston Market's that influenced. I don't see any collabs.

I did find one article about a franchise of Dunkin' Donuts took over an old Boston Market location in Stoneham, Massachusetts. That's the only collaboration. It's probably not much of a collab. We're collaborating on taking this store over. That's like, that's like how, uh, when the pilgrims came, they collaborated and now we have the United States. Yeah. They collaborate with the natives here now we have the United States. Yeah, they collaborated with the natives here, and we have Thanksgiving.

Yeah, we are. Somebody kind of got the raw deal there. I don't know. I'm not saying who it was. I'll let you decide. Just thinking out loud. To each their own. I'll just say Dunkin' Donuts were the pilgrims in that situation.

The rest you can figure out. Are you still snacking what are you doing the spinach is just waiting dude i love spinach how wet is that is it yeah is it like a wet creamy spinach it's it's hard to describe because it is creamy but like creamy spinach is a thing but it's not creamy like creamy spinach it's and and it's getting cold so it's now congealing oh you know like it's i don't know what is in there it's it's like a butter or like a cream or something that now it's starting to like hold all of the spinach together like like a horse glue if you will interesting yeah and i'd say maybe it was past its prime

and they decided, put it in the spinach. So that's where I'm at now. And it's mostly good, but there's a tiny little aftertaste where it's like, not great. Right at the end. Just to kick my taste buds in their ass. But you keep going back.

I keep going back because the first 80% is great. Anyway, we're on to Spitting Silly if that's what we weren't doing already. We should talk about that van episode that came out last week. That's true. So this is it.

The episode three came out last week. Home stretch. Episode four, the last one, comes out next week. So you've got this episode and then two more in a row. Yep. And then the dark times are upon us all again. Back to biweekly, you know?

Did I tell you that Gus got mad at me? Who? Gus is a friend of mine. He also, similarly to what we do here, he also has a podcast. Uh, he also, similarly to what we do here, he also has a podcast and, um, he found out that our numbers higher than his podcast numbers. Oh, wow. Since we started doing the van episodes. So, um, have they considered doing a van episode for their podcast?

Well, by that you mean doing a weekly show. Yes, correct. And that's what I told him. So, so when it's on even ground this is what i tried to convey to him and i don't think it was weird it's like he didn't want to hear it strange it's like instead of instead of doing a thing where it's like this like up and down like really hard it's just a flat ground we're're steady climbing, and then they're just sort of like, uh-oh, not quite. Well, don't worry, because we'll go back to crashing.

Yeah. We'll do next week. And then here's the thing, especially with this show. There's a lot of analytics, and there's bar graphs and charts. Yeah, the FaceShame analytic team is always working in the background. And it's not just the monkey man looking at numbers. Right, he's the closest to the foreground that the background gets, right? Yes, that's it.

I think they call that the horizon line. He's peeking, right? It's like we're doing the show. Somebody left the door open, and you can see his little beady eyes peeking through the sling. Well, the thing is, you can see his beady eyes, but then you can also see the monkey's giant eyes. Correct. So you're just seeing four eyes coming at you. But there is a whole swarm behind him that you don't know.

But it's good. Numbers are up. This is good. It's good. You know, popular podcast, very popular podcast. That's good. I like that we show just this little hint

of like what's possible at the weekly podcast and then it goes away. And then we take it away. It gets people. Yeah, it gets people wanting it again. It gets people wanting it again.

And it also makes those background people, they start getting nervous. Yeah, they get frantic. They say this say this is the end you know what i say i don't give a shit i'm just gonna eat food oh was the show doing really well not anymore back to my weekly everybody oh did people love the video get rid of it back to Audio only. And the only way we'll do more weekly stuff is if we have another sponsor who I would consider my new best friend. When this sponsorship is over. Oh. When this sponsorship is over.

Friendship over. And then I need a new friendship. That's all I'm saying. It's like. They can be our friend again if they want to. Yes, they can. Jordan, that's what I wanted to get at. can they can be our friend again if they want yes they can't absolutely jordan that's what i wanted to get at they absolutely can be our friend again but you know until they choose to be our friend again with money that and i have no friends friendship's

a two-way street it takes two to tango that's what i'm saying pay me and then we'll be we'll be really good you're both rubbing your fingers together like you have smegma in your hands. No, not anymore. I need a friend to help me. If they tell me... You need a wet wife. Here's money. You're our friends.

Then I just say, everyone else fucking sucks. Suck it. Fuck you. This is my one true friend. Until that friendship ends, and then fucking sucks. Suck it. Fuck you. This is my one true friend. Until that friendship ends, and then everyone sucks. Right. Until I have a new friend, and then guess what?

New friend? Fucking awesome. Love that friend. Love that friend. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. I'm as loyal as the dollar is strong. That's all I'm saying.

And that's good. That's good that your mind's there because I'm not there, right? I just want to eat the food. I want to eat the food. He's here for one thing and one thing only. I want to keep my head clear. I got to figure out what kind of mask or hat Nick's going to get next. I have my own things that I need to focus on.

Right. And so they say, numbers are really good. And you go, oh, that's good. And we go, well, what happens if we go back to doing it biweekly? And then numbers are going to drop. Yep. We still do the show? Yeah.

Well, then I don't care. Yep. That's it. So I'll see you in two weeks. And then they kill themselves. What? And then we just get a new team after that damn

I don't want them to I tell them not to I don't want them to either I hope they don't I say the numbers aren't that bad and then they don't want to hear that

next thing they know they don't want to hear that jump out the window right oh wow stocks crashing well hang on first floor oh

so and honestly into a bush that's right below the window right now they're now they're just covered in glass

for no reason it's it's a symbolic gesture like yeah I respect that I see what you were going for cause without effect right

I suppose right um do you want to talk you talked about you talked about the monkey getting a new hat do you want to

uh he's wearing it now for some reason the snack attack face jam snack friday do you want to talk about the new hat the monkey getting a new hat. Do you want to watch the snack attack, Face Jam, Snack Friday? Do you want to talk about the new hat the monkey has? You got the monkey a gift. You just said, what is that? The hat?

No, what's Snack Friday? The thing we did. The stream that we did. Eric, I don't think Michael remembers. What do you mean you were there? What's the last thing you remember on that hang on friday what yeah what happened on that friday uh-huh well i remember i was doing a a holiday ad and eric was setting up for some show and he was complaining about it and then i was sleeping i woke up at 11 p.m i woke up um here's here's the thing about snag Attack and my only concern about it.

I don't think people knew it was me. What does that mean? He's still on this. I was so skinny. No. No. What do you mean no? You said you lost eight pounds?

Yeah. Why are you laughing? So you were roughly 182 pounds? Yeah. I'm not going to lie. Like 182.5. Oh, okay. So almost eight pounds.

Yeah. You shave off that half pound, I think. I think people start getting confused. But I think you're in the clear. Well, 183, people are like, I can still see it. And then the half pound goes and they go, where'd he go? Uh-huh. I'm just saying, you you know with the last uh snack

attack video we did when i'm like my big fat daddy status was cemented then rolling quite literally into the van episodes we got a little bigger the most uncomfortable seating and the best gut shots we can get in the business where I'm just spilling out over myself but I did have my own tray for food I was like the juxtaposition is going to throw people off they're going to watch snack Friday and they're going to be like there's Jordan there's Eric there's monkey man who's this

little guy and I just I just want to be clear that it was me even if you don't remember it but if people think it wasn't me then I But if people think it wasn't me, then I'm inclined to say it wasn't me and I'm not there. No, no, it was definitely you. Yeah, well, I thought you were going to try to get people away

from any conspiracy theories about, like, you're no longer in the show or anything. But now you're saying, if that's what they think, maybe it's true. Well, I'm very swayed by public opinion is all interesting so i guess we'll have to see what the numbers are like whether i was there or not yeah the numbers were very good we were like no i mean the number of people who think i was or wasn't on the show not the viewership i don't care how many i can already see the opinion of who did watch it the youtube thumbnail of like somebody breaking it down and it's like it's a

side by side of michael michael's gut from the van episode and then the snack friday and it's like same person question mark with arrows pointing all around right and there's like a there's like a red web at some other show yeah it's it's like, where did Michael Jones go? Yeah, who is this imposter? See, what you're talking about, like comparing the gut is gonna be difficult because he's sitting for most of Snack Friday until he starts standing up and screaming

and then swimming in wine that he spilt on his desk. Do you remember doing that too? Yeah, I was drinking it. I've got, I've got bits and pieces. I was slurping it. You were slurping it.

I was trying to clean it up. Um, I remember Eric kept trying to stop the count. That's not true. That's, that's very true. That's very true. Remember after the show,

uh, throwing up into a trash can, screaming, not a bit, free the people, free the press, not a bit, but can, screaming. Not a bit. Free the people. Free the press. Not a bit. But I stand by what I said, if it was me.

Fortunately, I have a thing. First of all, this is very spit and silly. But again, on topic of our own show. Yes. Snack Friday. Check it out. It's free. And there's a video.

And it's not 90 minutes. It's a train wreck. I'm very on brand, even when my mind slips away from me. So what happened was- The autopilot kicks in and just like hit these talking points. Right. Whatever was going, it's kind of like a backup. A bunch of people, their alert goes off in my brain, like,

wah, wah, wah. I'm like, what do we do? We're losing him. What do we do? We're losing him. What do we do? And they go, I don't know. He kept talking about stealing the election. He kept talking about the melting hair dye. Just do more of that.

Just do more of that stuff. He was doing that all day. Do it. So then it just kicked into over mode. And I just started rolling around on the floor, throwing away tissues, saying, there goes another ballot. started rolling around on the floor, throwing away tissues saying there goes another ballot.

So what we did was we had 24 wines. We did an advent calendar of wine. Yeah. A horrible idea. Your idea. I didn't make Michael drink any of the wine. Michael decided to drink all the white wine. You didn't have to take my idea.

That doesn't make it a good idea. Look, in hindsight, I think we can all say bad idea. Look, I think in hindsight, we could say good idea. Numbers were good. Numbers were great. People loved it. People loved it. But Michael spilled.

Michael was a professional throughout the entire stream. I did what I had set forth to do. And then, you don't remember this. As soon as the cameras turned off, you shut down. Yeah, autopilot. I knew. You went into like two-year-old Michael mode. He started knocking things over. Yeah, things were falling, Drinks were spilling.

It was crazy. But it was like everything was fine until it was like fade to black. And then from the booth, we're clear. And then it was just like slam, thump, spill, fall. Where are my keys? And he was like, what are you talking about? Code 4 guy took your keys away. And you were like, give them back.

Yeah. His car wasn't there. Yeah. Go anywhere. Get a ride home. Listen, I knew. I didn't know that much. I don't drink wine.

And I thought 13%, that's not that much. Then like 16 cups later, that's up. Anyway, this part took too long. That's what happens when you spit silly. Oh, right, Boston Market. We spit too silly. We spit too silly. We didn't even talk about ghosts.

Nick, cut that up, but like, leave in the good parts. The ghosts are here. At Mila, our partner is the planet. Our appliances use less water and energy and are tested to last for 20 years of use. That's the ultimate form of sustainability. I'm Nelson Fresco, President of Miele Canada. From now until June 30th, every Miele dishwasher purchased supports the planting and preservation of Canadian forests

through the Ma Forest Initiative. Join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow. Visit mila.ca to learn more. And we're back. Back to the show. Let's get to what is this slop that we ate so we can get the hell out of here. Yeah, no kidding. Okay yeah okay the two options on the table are the boston market tuscan chicken slow roasted rotisserie chicken seasoned with tuscan inspired herbs and spices and the boston market chicken

marsala rotisserie chicken you did what i did i like it Rotisserie chicken. You did what I did. I like it. Rotisserie chicken sauteed with cremini mushrooms, garlic, fresh herbs, and finished with sweet Marsala wine. I'm glad these descriptions exist because I wasn't sure which one was which when I was actually eating it. I was fairly certain. I was like 60-40. I ate one. I was actually eating it. I was fairly certain. I was like 60-40.

I ate one. I was with you. I went, I don't know what the fuck that was. I have no idea which one I just ate. Then I went on to the second one, and it was very dry. Yeah. Dry, dry, dry. And I went, oh, the other one was the marsala no question it was dry

just like the red wine and then you said i'm like the gobi desert i'm a thirsty camel kick sand on me i need the oasis all true that's all true everything point out the lie we put that quote on a shirt just like just the text i'm a thirsty you know you know how in like in non-english speaking countries they love shirts that just have random english words on them i feel like that fits the bill perfectly we should just print that and sell it like japan i feel like if you print that on a shirt and sell it in like Japan. I feel like if you print that on a shirt and sell it in Japan, someone from America would see it and go, it's a terrible translation.

No sane person would ever say this. They wouldn't think it was an English native that said it. Yeah, exactly. Where'd they learn English? Fucking computer translators. I'm the Gopi desert. I need the oasis. I'm a thirsty camel kick sand on me what the fuck

i remember being pretty far gone myself at that point but still being like why would you need sand on you well i'm just saying you don't need it it's just kind of like you know it's gonna happen i get sand kicked? I'm going to get sand kicked on me. You know what I mean? Like, kick sand on me. You know what? I'm going to take it. They got those huge eyelashes to keep the sand out of their eyes.

That's what I'm saying. But it's like, look, the wind's blowing. You know? You got, like, desert maelstroms. It's going to be kicking up the dirt. You know? Just blow sand on me. Whatever.

Just give me the oasis. You know? It all tracks so I wasn't sure what marsala was I don't think I've ever had a chicken marsala but but it reminded me of like tiki masala so I thought

the Tuscan one was the marsala one because I was like no this is kind of spicy herby like uh like I assume Indian chicken would be. That's not what, no. Well, no, I know that now, Eric. Good.

I've had a lot of sirloin marsalas at Carrabba's. Oh, there you go. This is how I'm in the know. And how did that compare to the chicken? Well, I'm not ready to say. how did that compare to the chicken? Well, I'm not ready to say. How did that compare to the wine we drank? Oh, boy. Oh, dude, that was abysmal.

I hated that. All right, press material is as follows. Quote, this summer was unlike any other we've experienced in previous years. So we're getting back to what we know, love and appreciate this fall with familiar flavors that we hope can offer some much needed comfort and security. Stated Randy Miller, president of Boston Market. That is why we are so excited to bring back our fan favorite chicken flavors just in time for fall. Offer guests something familiar and delicious to enjoy with loved ones this season. What did they do this summer?

Right. First of all, you got to mention it, right? The summer wasn't like any other we've experienced in previous years. Why? You know why, but you don't say why. So why say it? No one will tell me what's different about this year. I see commercials and they're telling me things are different.

Yeah, we live in strange times. Then, so we're getting back to what we know. Chicken? Did you stop making chicken? That's what I want to know. What are you getting back to? I feel like nothing happened nothing changed and you just put something in the beginning about how you know we're in a pandemic and then be like

so we made chicken it'll track it'll play yeah that's why i don't think they're referring to the pandemic they must be i think they're referring to something they did what did they do and they're like we were led astray and we tried something that didn't quite work out. This is my headcanon, Michael. Yeah, okay. I'm headcanoning Randy Miller's

press release here. Guys, it's been crazy times, you know, with the virus and the lockdown. So we decided, fuck it, we're making chicken.

Come eat it at Boston Market. The chicken place. That's, at Boston Market. The chicken place. Yeah, right, the chicken restaurant. The one who was taken down by Big Rotisserie. Well, not Big Rotisserie, just normal rotisserie at every grocery store. I mean, it was a Big Rotisserie movement, I guess I should say, that swept the nation one grocery store chain at a time the thing that kind of gets me is that he starts talking about how this has been like no summer

ever so we're bringing back fall favorites and it's like what does one have to do nothing changed from summer to fall it's the fucking same as it's been since march i'm living the same goddamn day every day like what are you talking about summer so crazy but luckily we have fall right guys well luckily because now we have this chicken did it help has your day improved i would say it hasn't been really yeah i mean you tell me you guys are the ones rating it now how did it feel because this is a little different from how we've been doing it you guys went and got the food today that's not how we've been doing it the last two months, where I pick up the food and bring it and throw it on top of a car and everybody eats it like pigs at a trough.

Yeah, I like doing that. Yeah, so do I. I like, you know what I like that I kind of fucked around with because it was there, but now that I don't have it, I actually genuinely miss it. I miss beeping my horn. Yeah. Yeah yeah i wanted to beep a couple of times and like instinctively like reached for the horn but it's not there yeah like during the whole fact fiasco where you give us what are you talking what fiasco there's five i would have been i would have been beeping there's five

incredible facts that people learned about boston market i don't know what fiasco there's no fiasco the question the question you pose on the sheet here also says is it still 1997 inside your boston market there's one boston market in austin austin market we all went to the same one oh wow the monkey put on the train conductor hat but it's not like it but it's yeah but it's not like one we've ever seen the guy looks like he's running shiny time station hey you can't do that where's your whistle stop stop it's so sad that's not meant for you he stopped hey whoa hey give it back did you see that he threw it it landed on the monkey head perfectly so we see it yeah oh that's really well they're magnetized that's how he's gonna keep it on

from now on it's fucking smart uh how was it actually going to get i mean we talked about it a little bit but anything crazy like michael you didn't even go to get it did you no i didn't know where i don't know how you're gonna segue me into this i ordered it so it didn't look like anything god damn and you knew that i already i already told my story yeah it's fucked up and it looked like nick's nick's story was i went there jordan's food was there yeah oh yeah he told us before we started which was weird because you weren't here yet he did say he opened it up and put his finger in it yeah he said he touched all your food with his little monkey paws and he made just to make sure it was still warm he said luckily for jordan yum yum they asked me if i wanted my receipt when i got there oh yeah the

lady behind the cash register just had a handful of receipts and uh i was like yeah i'd like my receipt and uh she was like, let me go through them. And she starts like, I got to make sure I have the right one here. And she, like, comes out from behind the counter and walks up to the table that has my food on it. And is, like, comparing the little, like, order ticket on the bag to her receipts and just shuffling through them. And I guess she just gave up because she did not give me my receipt. This receipt was for door dash it has uh it has a delivery fee it uh it's it's for four dollars more than what i paid for

mine um it has two kids meals on it there were like four receipts there were like four receipts that were probably the same that's fucking crazy yeah i don't i don't know i don't know what what happened she probably was just like all right get out of here take this please leave leave our empty restaurant well time to rate this slop um i thought it was pretty good i've never had boston market before but it does indeed have that that air of elegance we were talking about i was surprised when i opened it up and it seemed like real food uh it it tricked me didn't feel like fast food at all i uh i tore I tore into the Tuscan chicken first and very herby and spicy.

Like so much flavor. It punches you in the tongue. And it's actually still like on my tongue. Like I can still feel it and barely taste it. But I kind of liked it i like getting hurt you like when your food beats you up and steps on you step on the boston market get some mashed potatoes in my eye uh so yeah i actually i actually really enjoyed that um And then I went to the Marsala chicken, and I hated that.

Like, nothing about how it looked was appealing, and it looked like gray ejaculate. Oh my God. Not where I was expecting it to go. I thought you were just going to say slop, and then you went with cum. No, I mean, it just wasn't very nice to look at. I didn't want to eat it, and I definitely didn't want it to step on me. I didn't want to eat it, and I also didn't want to lick it clean,

but it had to do both? Oh, no. Trust me, that didn't happen. So I took a couple bites of that and was like, yeah, this checks out. It's bad. And then I was also disappointed by the mac and cheese. The cheese was bad. So then I went back to my very good...

One of those fast food cheeses. I went back to the very good stuffing and the very good Tuscan Tuscan Raider chicken. The baby agrees. What baby? There must be a ghost baby. Uh oh.

A lot of babies died in this house. Oh, you haunted with ghost babies? When I bought it, yeah, just so you know, it used to be a daycare. But there was a there was an accident. There was like a space heater somehow made its way into the bathtub, and it was bath time.

Oh, no. And let's just say. Like group bath time? Yeah. Well, they're babies. It doesn't matter. I'm just making sure. You just dump them in the.

The babies were in mass being babies. Oh, the babies were in mass. There were no survivors. They went up in smoke. I bet you got a hell of a deal on the place. Oh, dirt cheap, dude. Actually, that's the trick when you're looking for a place to buy. Type into Zillow keywords haunted.

Death, murder, you know. Cr to type type into zillow keywords haunted death murder you know crimes ghosts you know anything that blood stains yeah um um you know like cooked baby smell burned into walls any of that kind of stuff gray ejaculate really drives the price down um but that's fine we just turned it into an arts and crafts room oh that's smart oh that was smart yeah what a good idea people see you know like the melted flesh they just think it's some sort of mural how artsy um yeah so it's fine good thing um anyway yeah uh 63 wow you must have really enjoyed the Tuscan because I feel like yeah no kidding

because you said I hated the Marsala you called it Grey Cum you said it was Grey Cum and you gave this a 63 I called it Grey Ejaculate well okay that's he's technically correct I just want to be clear I'm not allowed to use the words I would usually use because of who's editing this.

Okay. So I started with the Marsala. Okay. And I've had, AKA great. You know, I've had Boston market before the, the Mac and cheese was okay.

The pasta was okay. But like you said, cheese soup, it's just like, you know,, doesn't have the real cheese flavor. Doesn't take you anywhere. You know, I don't feel whisked away. I'm just sitting there. I'll tell you this even.

I ate, you know, it comes in the tray. It's almost like a little bowl section for the sides. I ate all the mac and cheese and was then able to drink what was left of the cheese because it was so soupy. But why would you do that? Because it was still there. So I just tilted it and went

and I drank the cheese. And I went, after drinking the cheese and wiping it from my mouth like a caveman, I said, that wasn't that good anyway on to the chicken so i had the marsala first and boy wet is an understatement it was so wet and sloppy and just kind of like if you touched it it would fall off it it kind of ruined the skin right like like some of the best part of of the skin of a chicken when you're dealing with like you know bone-in chicken is like the crispy

yeah rip of the skin you know the meat was still good i will say the meat was still fine under the marsala because every single chicken it's like the same kind of meat. It doesn't taste any different under the seasoning or whatever kind of sauce that they used. But it was like fighting through a not great, wet, stretchy outside. It was kind of like if a dead body was in the water for too long and then it got bloated, but then the skin got stretched so it didn't really fit to the flesh anymore it was like that i wouldn't go with um ejaculate i would say more bloated stretched skin that was no longer tight right or taut to the flesh you can like slip it

right off you can slip it right off you can pull the arm yeah right out of the skin sleeve yeah um and so i was it was not great it was i was eating it going this is worse than regular boston market for sure for sure then then however the bus came picked me up and all of a sudden i was in tus Tuscany. I was just the bus. I was walking around. I was shopping. He took it from Canada. I was breathing the air.

I was taking in the sights. I was like, oh, the herbs punching me left and right. It's herby. It's spicy, but it's also dry. But again, a good dry. Not like sand dry, but just like a dry rub. Not camel dry. But not camel dry. not camel dry but the

inside still very juicy chicken on the inside um the the tuscany chicken i liked it a lot it was very good it was definitely better and um you know i think we were kind of split on the sides i got mashed potatoes they were fine um the spinach as i said kind of weird kind of a weird spinach but based on the chicken man that marsala that's definitely under a 50 that's that's down there that's like why would you make this it's one of those your regular food is better than this why would you make this um but the tuscany that's up there so if I'm going down there, I'm going up there. I'm going to say 65. Wow.

All right, 65. And your average score is 64. Good math there. It seems appropriate. I feel like we could tell the audience, if you've had Boston Market or you're interested in trying Boston Market, just get the Tuscany. Yeah, I highly recommend it. I would say that's probably one of the top five things

we've eaten on this show, is that Tuscan chicken specifically. Wow. I wouldn't put it top five for me. I'd say maybe top 10, but only because we've eaten a lot of garbage. Yeah, there's a lot of bad things. It's more, it was actually decent.

I was tempted to put a top three and then i remembered those doghouse dogs yeah and the wendy's pub chicken sandwich no that's outside the top five for me that's crazy so so i'm sorry so you're putting the tuscany chicken above the wendy's chicken sandwich the pub sandwich yeah i would yeah that's that's wow that's insane eric is as far as he can go on his microphone he's in the corner of his room do me a favor get up leave the room and shout into the room that's insane that's insane somebody go louder i don't know what nick's doing it's all getting very weird right now absolutely fucking crazy

that's what this is fucking nuts oh I'm sorry are you on the review panel I didn't know your opinion no but you know what he does he reviews the reviewers so he's entitled to that that's his review what do you give this episode because I think it's pretty weak so far I think it's a great

episode good facts this episode was definitely not great there's still room because I think it's pretty weak so far. I think it's a great episode. Good facts. This episode was definitely not great. There's still room. It was okay. All right, let's save it in Serpcides then. What Serpcide did you guys get? I got a pie.

I did not get a pie. Eric mentioned there was pie, so I got an apple pie. He did. Oh, that's right. He specifically said that, and I didn't get it because I don't like being told what to do. I kind of took it. I made it like an inception thing where it was like he definitely

he definitely wanted me to get, he wanted us to get the pie and I was like, I was like, I don't want to be told what to do, but I'm going to get that pie. Right. See, that's fine. I got the sweet potato casserole. Ooh. That's what Nick got.

He's nodding, he's flailing. He's gyrating. This is what I was going to put the gravy on, but I guess I won't. On the apple pie? Why would you do that? They gave it to me. Oh, that looks awful. Well, they gave it to you for mashed potatoes. But they gave it to me. Oh, that looks awful. Well, they gave it to you for mashed potatoes.

But they gave it to you. Instructions unclear. Gravy's on the apple pie. Apple pie's not bad. The apple pie is better than I thought it was going to be. Nick really liked that sweet potato casserole. I bet Michael likes it a lot, too. This is delicious.

This is the shit nice accent oh this is good oh this baby this is a winner this is the best thing i've eaten from this restaurant today wow can you describe it yeah well it nails it so it's a little gritty right it's got that like that grit that you like it's not perfectly smooth it's sweet but it's not too sweet it's not like getting like eating five packets of sugar there's not too much there's like a concentrated you know melted marshmallow in the middle but the flavor does bake throughout um and i think there's some kind of nuts in here i can can't find them. I think they're in here. Maybe.

How come they don't have Boston baked beans? This is good. This is stellar. I'm going to give this a 90. Wow. That's great. Yeah, this is great.

This is a great dessert. Damn, dude. 90. That's what... Nick is all about it. Nick is giving it up. He's right. I'm agreeing with him on this one.

This is no Del Taco situation. Taco Cabana. Don't throw Del Taco under the bus. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I mean, they deserve to be under the bus too. Yeah, but let them do it on their own accord. I'm really sorry, Del Taco.

Fuck you, Taco Cabana. I'm a little, I got the FOMO now. I wish I had gotten the sweet potato casserole because this pie is good, but it's not amazing. It's not going to change my life. It's a good pie. It's good in that it's surprising, and I expected it to be worse.

It's fresh. The apples are crisp. It's got a good filling flavor. The crust could be better. I'll give it an 80 just for surpassing expectations. Okay. I mean, I think that's fair. I think it's a good piece of pie.

I got the same pie. I think it's pretty good. So, guys, we did it. A Serpcide saved the episode. Fantastic. And if you want to send us snacks to review, you can. Send it to Face Jam. Care of Eric Bedore.

1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas. 78723. Don't send us bugs there's a guy who keeps tweeting like haha can i eat the bugs haha just go buy bugs and eat the bugs you fucking moron just go outside like just dig around go eat snails off the fucking ground i don't give a shit just stop tweeting about it you're fucking kidding me jesus christ i had an idea in the middle of this mediocre episode. Yeah. What if? Now, I don't know. This certainly isn't a regular episode.

I don't know if this is a supplementary episode or it's a live stream. What if we do a review? Having just passed a year, right? We just recently somewhat passed a year of Face Jam. What if we take a walk down memory lane and we just review all the foods we've eaten and kind of compare? Well, like we make a top 10 list just from memory. Or we like look because of the conversation we just had and we're like, okay, this food, do you remember this?

And I bet a lot of it we won't remember. I don't know. Or then we'll be like, oh, the fish sandwich. No. And I'll scream and I'll be a dry camel again. I don't know, just just a thought and then we can make our own lists do you want to do maybe we maybe we can make it where we have this would be tricky because we'd have to be in the same space but if we had like all of them listed and

we work together to come up with a definitive top 10 or yeah but we don't have to be together i bet we can do something where we capture a screen and we can drag and move and let's just let's just make them let us be together guys let you let us be yeah let's just be together to do this we all just want to be together okay it's possible uh no wine we'll say no wine and no wine allowed yeah let's it. It'll be like a, it'll be like a reunion episode, even though we haven't disbanded yet, even though we do this constantly. It's been more than a year. So it's not even like an actual anniversary celebration. Let's do it at the end of the end of the year. So it's an end of year in review.

It being kind of a year is pretty on brand yeah it's the mostly one year anniversary the mostly one year anniversary spectacular dude we could kick off we could kick it off in 2021 yeah i think that's a good way to do it it's a january kickoff thing where we've been going for about a year that's a good idea i'll see if we can get together in the studio for that we'll just get all it is is with a, like a whiteboard and we can, or like magnets or whatever. Yeah. The magnets,

the foods around to make like a top 10 and like bottom. We'll have some props. And then, and then it's all a ruse. And we review the McRib. Whoa. Oh, shit. How far can he go? oh shit

how far can he go how far can he go I think I think Michael's gonna have some gray ejaculate come out of him in a second I really like that one episode we don't do the one episode we don't

do together from our cars and we're trying to figure out a way that we can just get together we saw each other like twice in a week last week and then this week it's just like what do we do I don't know how do we get together again the only way we can do this

is if we're in the same room yep yeah that's the only way it'll work it's the only way to work um this is we were born to be together yeah uh i'm i'm for it i say okay i'll i'll approach marketing and see if they want to pay for it that last thing cost them like 200 bucks they made way more than that in shirt sales. Speaking of shirt sales, guys, here's the thing. Here's what's going on. As of this episode coming out, the Face Jam soda cup has come out. The light apocrylic sign has come out.

The Spice Rat mug has come out. The Last Meal shirt has come out. And the Sauce Monkey plush has come out. They're all out now. It's store.roosterteeth.com. Sorry, what was that last shirt you mentioned? The last meal? What the hell is that?

The skeleton one with the pizza. Oh, that's out? Yeah, it's out. Yeah, baby. Oh, I didn't know that. It's all in the Slack channel. They working fast. Okay, I'm just saying, I'm just saying I didn't know it was out.

There's a lot of nonsense in there. You got to dig it. Look, Nick didn't know either. Okay. And speaking of shirts that are out right now, Spice Rat shirts are in stock as of this recording. Hopefully when this episode's out, they're still out. Well, there's a lot.

There should be a lot. So hopefully you guys are. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Not that many though.

So you better hurry up. They should hurry up. They should hurry up because limited quantity. There could be one or two left. Race to your computer now and if you see it, buy it. Like it's a PS5 that's still in stock. It's not a Mirage. The Oasis is real.

Drink to your belly is full and your camel back is humpy but that's why we told everyone to sign up to get notified because i know before we let everyone know we sold a bunch of those shirts before like we woke up and it was like these shirts are up and we went yeah fuck but then they sold oh also we sold like several hundred just because that's for people who signed up to get notified when the shirt got restocked. That's something that we hit really hard. We wanted to make sure you guys knew. So all the FJ Spice Rats out there,

you guys know. And fortunately, there's not a lot of bots trying to grab the shirts and sell them at a markup. Right. So you can kind of just go to the store and put it in your cart and buy it and your cart won't crash right you know it's just kind of like purchasing something online like a normal person so you should try it you should do we hope yeah so go try it could be

unprecedented amount of demand for these shirts yeah so go get the spice rat shirt face jam soda cup the light up acrylic sign the spice rat mug Rat mug, the last meal shirt, and the sauce. We have so much cool stuff. Yes. Incredible line of Face Jam merchandise that you guys can go see. And if you want to see more information about that stuff, follow at Face Jam Pod on Twitter to stay up to date. I think we really saved this episode at the end with, uh, with the great idea. Yeah.

I think a great idea can save anything. And here we are. We got, we're sitting on a baby, but that idea kind of presented itself before we even got to the end. And after we said the episode was just okay. So I don't know how it saved it. Well,

I, in, in, in that we had to, we had to live through this episode. We had to live through the mistakes we made in this episode to come up with something better. Oh, wow.

So it's all worth it in the end. I feel like the idea was there, and you just, guys, you didn't understand it because it wasn't built like a sales deck, and I had to put it in a deck. And you were like, if you don't use the word deck, why are you talking to me? This is interesting, but what's the ROI on this?

deck why are you talking to me this is interesting but what's the roi on this well what are the what are the kpis what are you trying to hit jesus well we're gonna do that thing probably in january we got to get together and we got to rate our episodes we got to rate the food from our episodes and go top we go like top 10 top 5 and then like a bottom 3 interesting well we did it top 10 top five and then like a bottom three hmm interesting well we did it thanks for listening rate and subscribe tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food

why am I waving I don't know bye guys