100% Eat - Burger King Italian Original Chicken Sandwich

Episode Date: January 4, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Burger King Italian Original Chicken Sandwich so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about suing the King, a delicious surprise, and long chicken. Face Jam LIVE in Chicago. Tickets on sale now: http://bit.ly/tickets-chicago Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/facejam), Hawthorne (http://hawthorne.co and use promo code FACEJAM) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam16 and use code facejam16) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Ro, I believe, in the new year. Correct. But we're pre-taping this, as we always do, because this show isn't live, but we're super pre-taping this. And so people are already on vacation, and I have to say to everyone's disappointment, we only came to work today to eat Burger King. And so I just want to say, I'm going to mark this moment as I was getting dressed this morning going, wow,

there's nothing else. I'm going to go eat Burger King and then I'm going to go home. This continues my, what's the point? Yeah. Have we tipped? Right. When I'm coming into work just for Burger King,

a bug King being attacked by his own subject. Attacked by his subject. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where I guess we try food. It's new food. The Wendy's fries aren't new anymore. Stop saying they're new. They're new to you.

Creation. To let you know if you need it. You probably do. Don't worry about it. New year, new me. I'm your host, Michael Jones. Alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you on this dark, dark day?

You stole all my phrases. I was going to go, new year, new me. And then I was going to go, oh, it's such a dark day. You stole all my my phrases. I was going to go new year, new me. And then I was going to go, oh, it's such a dark day. But, you know, when you get to talk first, you get to use them all. Yeah. It is a dark day when Michael gets attacked by bugs. We were standing around

outside eating our sandwiches like animals, like a throwback. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eric's car was nowhere in sight, so we couldn't get sauce all over it. And then I went, why is my leg hurt? And I realized I was standing in a fire anthill, and I yelled, my subjects.

They were biting my foot. As he swatted them down and kept killing them and then stepping on them, he kept going, my subjects! Well, regicide. When you come for me. Attempted regicide. Well, that's true. I'm still standing. When you come for the king, you best i kept saying king you kept saying eric come eat these bugs teach them a lesson it was gonna be they're red they're spicy oh like tiny tacos and then nick chimed in i hate fire ants and i went you do as opposed to being a big fan of them. The big fire ant community. Love what they do.

They get a bad rap. I go on the fire ant subreddit and we've got a lot to say. I'm not going to even entertain the conversation where someone's going well technically spiders. I'm going to entertain that but this isn't even that.

Well you know the fire ant community actually well fuck I guess they don't do anything. Well, you know, the fire ant community actually, well, fuck, I guess they don't do anything. They bite you. I really like, well, technically spiders. Oh, some motherfucker's going, some motherfucker's going, the spider eats 200 mosquitoes a day. Get out of here. For a minute. Mosquitoes give you the sick juice.

I just want to make sure this is our ants and not just rants. It is our ants. Ants are social insects that form colonies that range in size from a few dozen predatory individuals. This is too long for a subreddit description. 19,000 members.

How many are ants? Most. That's half of a pile. Yeah, you just killed half of those. I just wiped out half the subreddit. Guys, we can join the rants Discord server. Oh, no thank you. I'm going to join rants tyranny.

Yep. I saw a Am I the Asshole post where somebody was talking about how their parents met online in something called an IRC and in parentheses wrote, it's like Discord for old people. That's exactly what it was. And I read that and was like, fuck.

I don't, hell yeah. Like she described it as something called an IRC. I don't really dive deep into the Reddit, but Am I the Asshole is a pretty popular one. And what surprises me about any of the ones I see, they're're very easy right it's like oh yeah it's either yes you are or no you're not and you think now maybe there is if you spend all day on there you think sometimes there'd be more nuance right because that's in a realistic scenario you might go am i an asshole let me explain the situation and someone might go something wrong i see your point

i see there but this is always like well yeah you're an asshole or or no of course not yeah it's never middle of the road it's never like you know it's very rare to get the more information needed response or the everyone sucks here yeah i think the people who are writing am i an asshole posts are over explaining every little detail because you gotta know what she said next and then what i said next and then what she said next my favorite other people are the people who are clearly the asshole oh and then everyone tells them they are and then they're like no no no you're not you're not listening so here's what happened i was an asshole when you scroll down into the

comments and you see them replying to every person going you're the asshole and they go no no no no it's awesome it's pretty let me ask you this do you think burger king's the asshole yes yes okay always today we're reviewing assholes italian original chicken sandwich i mean burger king it's i'm it's not so much angry as just despondent. Whoa. I'm sitting up mad. I'm sitting here because of them. Yeah. The king is laughing somewhere.

They made you leave your home. Got dressed. And drive however many minutes it takes. Yeah. I won't be specific. But not a thing. I missed a turn because I thought I was going somewhere else. Forgot my wallet. So not only I drove your...

Okay, there he goes. Nick is taking care of business. Not only I forgot my wallet, sold it on my key card, drove illegally without a license. Dude, you better hope nobody gives off an anonymous tip. Here's what I did, though. Jordan, get off your phone.

I am a licensed driver. I am a legally valid licensed driver. And I went, oh no, I don't have my license on me. I'll drive twice as fast. So I'm on the road for a short amount of time. There's less time for me to get in trouble. You're welcome, everyone else. It's always just the numbers.

If you saw that blur, don't worry, I forgot my license. Oh my god, was that the flash no michael forgot his license exactly the copster didn't see exactly you're too fast man uh so burger that's it oh there's more yeah so burger king uh the socks crapped out another thing for us to eat like the worst what did i say i said we we were tossing around what to eat this week i don't remember what was on the docket something else and I don't go out of my way to find stuff

I let Eric do it one, he takes such pleasure in it two, he can get excited when he picks something two weeks at a time he can get excited to do the facts in 13 and a half days I don't want to take that away from him thank you

I only had 6 and a half this time and three, I don't want to do anything away from him thank you I only had six and a half this time and three I don't want to do anything but this I came upon it and I went ugh Burger King

yeah and I'll say the biggest thing that caught my attention again it's called the Burger King Italian original chicken sandwich it's a chicken parm that's what it is right

it's Burger King's chicken parm so it's like a long piece of chicken with I'm not reading the you you know, the press material. You can assume cheese. You can assume probably parmesan, parmesan cheese. Parmesan. And marinara sauce or sauce of some kind. And I went, oh, wow.

Like we haven't, I don't think we've ever done a chicken parm sandwich. I went, this is different enough to make us eat awful burger king yeah i think is what i said third time and then first first three four three pete okay it's our first three uh and i went burger king's bad we should go there for this and everyone went both statements are true and now here we are no lies detected here we are almost on an early holiday but the king stepped in decreed this one comes out decreed yeah january 4th but it's gonna be very christmas heavy uh burger king is a place that does a lot of limited stuff i guess because we've done i

learned more about limited enjoyment yeah it's definitely the most limited enjoyment. Very efficient with their flavors, tastes, and enjoyment. They don't want you having too much fun. The four Burger Kingers out there, they're getting riled up. We talk about these people every time. And still. Guess what? You are the asshole.

I'm not the asshole. They're the asshole. No. Burger King. I don't even want to talk about McDonald's so much if they don't like Burger King. Well, because it's vastly superior in every way. And they're incredibly different restaurants. Incredibly different.

I mean, I talk about McDonald's again, just because Burger King likes to think they're a contender. They're not. Right. It's that meme where it's like, I feel sorry for you. Whether you like it or not, you can rate all your fast foods in the world no one tops mcdonald's just in terms of like notoriety in like pop culture if they're every they're behemoth nothing nothing is bigger than mcdonald the only thing you argue is like in texas subway comes close right you could

even say like again maybe there's more subways it doesn't matter somebody is just your volume fucking matter yeah okay no one contends with mcdonald's burger king goes we make burgers too it's us versus them and everyone else goes shut quiet when he's just talking the best analogy i can come with is like they're a bunch of little ants biting biting biting the leg biting a giant mcdonald's and all they do is they take their shoe off they unroll half of their sock because McDonald's isn't going to take their sock off in public, that's weird they need to be showing your feet around

and you just slap at the ground with your shoe, you smack and then Burger King's dead that's it, that's what they are and if you think otherwise, I'm sorry you've been fooled, you've been tricked you've been tricked by most likely your parents who were probably tricked by their parents

it's a vicious cycle Burger King relies on generational yes we know in the 90's they had some cool Pokemon stuff you need to move on you need to move on they're not though because Nintendo keeps re-releasing their old stuff

they're the Sonic the Hedgehog I will say the Italian original They're not, though, because Nintendo keeps re-releasing their old stuff. That's true. They're the Sonic the Hedgehog. I will say. The Italian original chicken sandwich, this is what we ate. This is a re-release. Oh, yeah. From 2014? Yeah, something like that.

Oh, did they get another studio to kind of just up the graphics? What I did was I made sure it wasn't a new item. Yeah. I started throwing up as i did research why were you doing research because if it was like a new sandwich like permanently yeah i wouldn't have suggested it but i wanted to make sure it was going away again yes it is supposed to be going away and then in that research i saw this turd came out seven years ago yeah yeah uh and then they went i don't know i guess that. This is long chicken and people said,

bring back the long chicken. I want to get that long chicken. Burger King's long chicken. I want me a long chicken. That's a short bun and a long chicken. Let me just, let me just ask,

can we confirm, did Nick get his sauce? That he kept screaming? Oh yeah. Sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce. Yeah. Sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce. Yeah.

He got his zesty sauce. He also got marinara. Okay. Screaming? Oh, yeah. Sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce you're doing. You mean... You're acting out of character. You mean McDonald's. Yeah. Sir, I'm assuming direct control of your view. Please take your medication. You've looked up a Burger King. Look, you live in Austin. There's real food here.

I understand you might be in a rush and want McDonald's or Sonic or anything. The Burger King is very suspicious. The M and the B, they're close on the keyboard and you type M, you match McDonald's and you hit Burger King. Car, take me to Burger King. Sir, are you being kidnapped? Is this a code word?

Yeah, this is like the panic word. Code word. Burger King! Burger King! It locks all the doors. Send in the SWAT team. Guns point inside. There's just something... I mean, we do it to everyone, I'd say. There's just something extra satisfying

to dogpiling on Burger King. Oh, yeah. I think it's because of, like, the way that it's... Like, the status of it. They have an arrogance about it. Yeah, they've got fake status. Yes.

They made themselves – They called themselves the king. Who would ever do such a thing? You're insane. I mean, you either are a king or you're not. I think it's because – the thing that bothers me the most is that they're the assumed number two, and I don't like that. No, yeah. They don't like that no yeah they don't deserve that it's like they

they just created they're like hey we're number two and people went ah do you know burger king's number two and they went oh where how where'd you hear that i don't know someone said it i don't yeah and it was burger king i think they said it on the podcast somewhere that burger king's number two do you have any facts i saw on another thread that burger king right someone else was talking about how they thought burger king was number two and now we're in the next thread so i'm just gonna assume they were number two that's a fact and now i'm gonna talk about something else that i'll make up and then the next person will cite this thread as fact and then before you know it watch out mcdonald's

you're in a fight you didn't even know about they will never be in the fight mcdonald's will never be time to take off your shoe and half your sock i just took extra pleasure screaming my subjects i'll tell you i'll tell you this with absolute certainty i would have done that if I was by myself. Oh, I don't doubt that for a second. With no one around in a Twilight Zone world. There were other people around us who aren't us, who were just like, why is Michael yelling my subjects?

I'm a king! I'm your king! We saw Gus, a friend of mine, and he was watching Michael get eaten by his subjects and then scream my subjects, and then, yep, take off his shoe and have a sock, and then tell me to eat them. Well, here's the thing. You're the known bug eater, and they were in dirt,

and so I thought it'd be like dinner and a dessert. You know what I mean? Jordan really liked that one. Dude, two in one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my thought. I didn't explain it at a dessert. You know what I mean? Jordan really liked that one. Dude, two in one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my thought. I didn't explain it at the time. Everything was happening so fast.

It was happening very fast. I didn't need to take the whole sock off because they were biting at my ankle. And so they hadn't breached the walls yet. They were trying to work their way up. They were trying to get to my toes. They're trying to suck them. They're sought after. They want East Egg.

Sought after. Dude. They want East Egg. Yeah yeah they want that loony porn that's what i'm talking about oh man baby uh burger king anyway i don't know it sucks hey jordan experience did we even we want to move on did we i guess we just kind of skipped over that we hate it that's our past oh no i don't think we're pretty i think we dunked on it for 13 or 14 minutes. But I'll be honest, that had nothing to do with my experience. That was just fact. I could have said that without ever having been there.

But, you know, and not surprising, haven't been there since this show. I don't think I've ever been to a Burger King in the state of Texas. Besides the three times. I mean, it was unfortunately for this show but even even outside the show i don't think you know sometimes you go i maybe i've eaten there on somebody never no never 10 years why would you know burger why would you that's it why would you burger king 2 oh a haiku a ruined kingdom faithful soldiers defend it bug kings know the truth.

Wow, that's really especially the end after he got attacked by the subjects. Those were the Burger King defenders attacking. I knew it! That one, I don't think Jordan's ever plunged so deep into my soul. Yeah.

I might need that one on a shirt or something. Or maybe like a towel, like a wash towel. so deep into my soul than with that haiku. I might need that one on a shirt or something. That was pretty beautiful. Or like on a, maybe like a towel, like a wash towel. You want it on a wash towel? Well, like after I go poopy,

I wash my hands. I want to read that. And I'll nod and I splash water on my face. The king returns. That'd be good. That'd be good. You don't want a bright orange towel

on your bathroom? Oh, doesn't match anything in the rest of the room well that's how it stands out then you would read it it might match the hand soap

that is also bright orange if you have that that was I like that that was a good one that was a very good haiku very good one thank you

do you guys want to learn about Burger King I suppose let's get into one two half two who knows. Can you believe this?

I'm more like, you know, sometimes we go, wow, I can't believe it, just in the realm of time. I'm more upset that I've now eaten at Burger King twice in six months. Not even this year, but in six months, bro.

Man, that does something to your head. Our previous Burger King episode was released July 20th, 2021. It's our RTN show. Where we ate the, oh my God, I forgot how it was called. The Cha-King Deluxe and Spicy Cha-King Deluxe. Like it's chicken and it's king, but it just makes me think of cha-ching, which is like money. Right.

But that's not what they're going for. No. But you can't get it out of your head and you go cha-ching. It sounds like you're fucking up cha-ching. It's subliminal on their part. It doesn't make any sense. Right.

Okay. It received an average score of 15. Horrible. Yes. Sometimes I read the score and go, oh, I'm sure that was was i wish i could lower it right now yeah jordan jordan gave it a 12 and you said i was gonna give it a 20 but it doesn't deserve that 18 i just remember it being like a trap yeah being like so flavorless yes and then

like going for a fry and being like there's's no salvation here. You were looking around screaming, help me. And there were nothing but fire ants biting you. We need a fire extinguisher that's just filled with good food that we can like douse ourselves with after eating Burger King. A fire extinguisher filled with good food? Like a milkshake or something? Like a milkshake fire extinguisher? Yeah, sure. Like marshmallow fluff?

Don't mix them up. Burger King is a fact now. Burger King smells like how Subway smells, but worse. What is going on? That's the whole fact. Whoa, that's a good fact. The whole fact. Now, Subway the restaurant or Subway the Subway?

Subway the... He capitalized it, so it must be the restaurant. Yes, the restaurant. Okay. Yeah. Are there Subways in Subways? Probably, right? I be the restaurant. Yes, the restaurant. Yeah. Are there subways in Subways? Probably, right? I would think so.

There have to be. You think there's a sub-rate for Subways in Subway? You don't want to just piss in the Subway. You got to go to the Subway in the Subway. You know when the guy stands up and goes, hey, I was going to piss on the train. I'm just going to go over to the Subway right there. I'm sorry. I apologize.

A truly international restaurant, Burger King, can be found in nearly half of the countries in the entire world. That's like 100. I, this is Eric, am currently compiling a list of non-Burger King countries or, as we're calling them, the good ones. Trying to figure out where we can go, where we can be safe away from north korea so uh no all yeah that's the good ones yeah um man so non-burger king is the minority huh more than half the world's lost their mind yep nick really like that oh my god i don't think they've lost their minds as much as they've been tricked. They've been swindled into allowing Burger Kings into their borders. Stop taking them to Burger King. I think.

Stop. I think it's like international after like the 80s, right? And then people sort of go like, ew, in Russia, this is very exciting. I don't understand. Is it because, oh, you know what it might be to outside of America? The whole monarchy thing. Oh, they call it,

they call it burgers are. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're just like the royalty. And if it was just called burger, I don't think it would do as well. Yeah. Well,

I peasant burger. I got it. I got to say, if it was called peasant burger, I don't think anyone would go. If it was just called burger, I think I would go all the time. I think you would go once and eat it.

And then you'd go once and eat it and then not go. And then you'd go they tricked me and you would not go back. But I do think those people exist. You're not one of them. You would not go to burger if it was burger. I think that if it was like, if it was just called burger

then it does away with the hubris of king. But then you eat it and you go, yes, this simply is burger. You should call it burger burger so you don't get it King. Here's why you do that. But then you eat it and you go, yes, this simply is burger. Here's why. You should call it Burger Burger so you don't get it confused. Here's why I'd go. Call it burger and they sell hot dogs.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That one. You can have that one for free. Just don't send, don't sick your aunts after me. Whoa, mama.

Burger King credits McDonald's. That's it. I'm just going to stop right there. Thank you, McDonald's. Thank you. You've given us everything. Burger King credits McDonald's. That's it. I'm just going to stop right there. Thank you, McDonald's. Thank you. You've given us everything. Burger King credits McDonald's as the inspiration for creating its brand the same way Pepsi credits Coca-Cola with soda innovation, or I credit Michael Bouchie for letting me copy his math homework in junior year algebra two. We're all giving credit where credit's due,

and that's the important thing. Some of us are number two. You know, I got really excited when I read Michael Bouchie and then realized in the next sentence, it's not going to play because no one knows who that is. Who knows how it's really pronounced? The next sentence, I was going to say, I can't wait to see this sports player.

This driver. It's Adam Sandler's character in Waterboy. Yeah, he let me copy his math homework. Did this kid know the kid that got run over? Yeah, were they friends? Who got run over? Didn't you have a friend who got run over? Yeah, were they friends? Who got run over? Didn't you have a friend who got run over? Oh, no.

That was your toy. No, they didn't know each other. Your mom ran him over or something? I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere. I think that was the story. I heard somewhere that you had a Mario toy and your mom said, time to die. The last thing you heard was the car starting.

A lot of thumbs. She said hop in. We're going to Burger King. No one will find us there. Don't tell Michael Bouchy. Bouchy was the alibi. We were here at Burger King looking at our gold Pokemon plates the whole time.

I got the Mewtwo. He got Pikachu. That blood smear was there since last week. That's ketchup. Zesty. Something's wrong with his blood. He's been eating Burger King. The final fact.

When I Google Burger King lawsuit, quote, can I sue Burger King, appears in giant letters at the top of the page. So I'm kind of hoping this meal goes downhill in a weird way because this looks like the easiest place to get cash from. New van? Whoa. How about New van? Whoa. How about any van? Well, we still have the old man.

Well, we just gave away part of the hood. Get rid of the rest of it. Are we still working on getting that van shipped to them? Yeah, they can have it. Yeah, we'll get it figured out. It's the holidays, you know? They kind of keep hounding us. Yeah, no, they're busy.

They Google, can I sue FaceTime? Yeah, and we're all busy is the thing if you um if you haven't watched those voodoo road trips we did four vodcasts which if you don't give a fuck about any of it if you just listen to this nonsense that's what the vodcasts are right and you get to see us you don't have to scream you can see us they're about 30 35 minutes something like that yeah there's four of those those are very good we're just eating at some random places yep this is pointless like oh just absolutely having like no visuals yeah right this is dumb right who's talking right now but we also did two road trip videos which are a bit longer and if you go i like face jam i don't like that there are humans and are

alive those might not be for you but i will say at the end you know we get to the new belgium brewery yeah makes voodoo and that was fun and boy i loved the stuff we filmed where we just gave was it patrick yep we gave patrick part of the hood and like, you know, it was so happy. Well, the thing is, you know, it is, um,

I remember that way. It is movie magic, right? We did have to do, do it several times. They need the coverage. I don't think he was acting. Uh,

no, I'm sure every time we handed him the dirty hood, he was like, what? And then my other, he kept getting, he kept getting more confused. I'm like,

he was about to cry. Their favorite part is right at the end end when Jordan and Nick are doing something important and giving dialogue. You can hear me in the back. Look at Eric and say, why can't you be like Kyle? And that made it into the cut, which is nowhere in any of the footage because his brother was there and I met him. And then from that moment, I just kept telling him that his brother was better than him.

Not only was it that but you were like eight beers in so it was just hammering that Eric was not Kyle. I'm going to tell you that probably had very little to do with it. It just happened to be eight beers in. Unless you listen to this also no context for that one

throwing line. I wasn't expecting it. I only think I heard it because I knew I said it. And I went, that made it in. I like immediately texted you when I heard that. Oh yeah. Also, since we brought it up. So watch those though. They're good. Since we brought it up.

There's no way they're related. Him and Kyle. I mean, I don't know. I'm not going to get into that. I'm not going to question the genealogy. But he's so much like Kyle. So much better looking. He's got better hair. Did you see his beard?

He's got big old beard. He's got big old beard. He's zero drinks in now. Yeah, I know, right? He's raining into you, bro. I'm over here sipping water. Yeah. Just trying to be like, hey.

You don't know what's in this. I mean, I think. Ugh, is it urine? Stop making it sound. Yeah. Just trying to be like, hey. You don't know what's in this. I mean, I think. Ugh, is it urine? Stop making it sound. Yeah. Oh, it is. It is urine. Oh, no.

Oh, he's making more right now. Why is it steaming? His bottle's getting fuller. Oh, God. That's Burger King. Those are the facts. We learned a lot. Also, I'll put

extra fact at the bottom Kyle was there yeah no he's vegan and he would not at Burger King I mean at the

they have an impossible no no no do you hear about the guy who sued them for that because they cooked it with beef fat well was that the guy

was that the guy that kept typing can I sue Burger King can I sue Burger King can I sue Burger King really I searched Burger King lawsuit and just the top of Google is the biggest fucking thing. Can I sue Burger King? And then it's them going, yes.

Oh, let's do it. The question was, why? And they said, why not? They suck. What else are we doing? Yeah, right? Look at them. That's what they're here for.

Who do they think they are that's the whole case yep the judge goes yeah come on you walk in you go wait guys you just go look at this guys yeah you see this it's crazy because burger king doesn't even have their own lawyers they just get a public defender. That's all they can afford. And they go, oh, no. You feel bad because you're kicking them all the time. A crack legal team of ambulance chasers. They just dial 4444444 until somebody picks up. It's the only number you need to know. That's when the prosecutor calls, like, 50 witnesses to the stand.

And then the defense goes, we have one witness to call, the king. And then he doesn't say anything because he can't talk. And then they go, I rest my case. Undone again. And then you look at the defense attorney and you go, shouldn't we have called witnesses? And they say, I think we'll be fine. We got this. We got this in the bag.

The truth will be revealed. There you go. We learned about Burger King. We got to figure out how to sue him. We can't be that hard. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Just leave him. I don't even. You just say. They're not worth it. Yeah. So much hard. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Just leave them. They're not worth it.

What are we going to get out of them? It's like you wouldn't sue those ants for biting you. It was a minor inconvenience and you crushed them. That's enough punishment for them. I feel like we've already crushed Burger King and we haven't even reviewed the food yet.

Quite honestly, it's irrelevant. No sense in beating a dead Burger King. The food could be a hundred and they'll walk away beaten from this episode. Yeah. Could you imagine? I would say. If the food was a hundred and we saved it. Can you imagine if we said, how was it?

100. Don't go there. Yeah. It's like the greatest thing you'll ever eaten, it's wrapped in a in a shit yep like a wrapper made of uh dried fecal yeah it really is it's it smells like burger king but everything else about it is really good like not no come on crazy possible yep impossible that's it we did it impossible right right right how was the impossible whopper did you have it

I've never had it my wife tried it once how did you have it it's impossible you can't see but Jordan just did a nice shrug and looked at me what a bunch of stupid names

I don't know I mean I don't know what you call not meat meat. Impossible. The pretend burger. The ghost burger. That's better. The monkey liked that. The phantom burger.

I mean, what's a good name for not meat meat? I don't know. Call it something new. Make up a new fucking name for it. I don't know. It's not meat. I don't... Plants's not meat. What are you... I don't... Plants. No.

You got beef. But, you know, we should start a word cloud. Hey, what do we call... I'm eating this beef. Start writing. What if we killed this chicken and ate it? What do we call it? Beef.

Fake beef. How about Phoebe? You call it fucking... Phoebe would be better. Phoebe. Phoebe would be better, bro. See, this is why the word cloud never fails. And then everybody stops fucking around going,

who's the impossible and beyond. It's their Feeb burger. Feeb is great. Can I get two? I will say Feeb. Now that I'm saying it, sounds a little bit too close to feet. Yeah.

I don't know if you want a feet burger. Hang on, I'll get that. But Feeb's where i'm at right now something like feed that i mean that was a stab in the dark and i'd say you almost nailed it um he did write feet for some reason i don't want feet um but cross it out just you know whatever figure it the fuck out right everybody calls it beef yeah it is what it is yeah yeah i also don't understand beyond meat is the other one. And meat's in the name.

They don't. Right. They don't want to call it. It's that thing. It's. We put the thing that it isn't in the name. Yeah. Yeah.

This isn't Coke. It's new Coke. What the fuck? It's crystal Pepsi. It's another thing too. Like I guess they don't want to be like plant because people go. Yeah. But guess what those

people aren't eating it no matter what you call it yep right i'm not going to eat it because i don't give a shit you could call it feeb you can call it impossible or beyond you call it yucky plant mix i'm just i know what it is i'm just not going to eat it but i but there's still that demographic of like well you don't want to like overtly tell people it's a plant. The protein or whatever they extract from the soybean roots is called heme. Don't ever say soy. No one will eat it. It's called heme.

So why don't they just call it like a heme burger? Heme? No. Is phoebe better than heme? Yeah, phoebe is better. I'm just afraid about phoebe. But you know what? Let them figure it out.

We got the ball rolling. You know what I mean? We did enough. We wrote three words on a whiteboard. We told them they need to invent the wheel. Now you figure out how that's done. Okay? You decide what shape it is.

We told you get four of them, put it on another thing. I'm done here. Okay? I've already gotten out of bed for Burger King today. What else do you want from me? Also, you did all that research. You're putting in it got it got dangerously close to research yeah like i said i threw up blacked out and i woke up in the bathtub uh but it was filled with ice and i was in a hotel which i thought was weird yeah that's just your body's natural reaction and then i heard someone say no, and run out the door.

But why don't we, why don't you go on to what the hell you're eating? Or we ate. Yeah, is it feed? It's food. All right. Well, this isn't feed. This is just,

this is just the long chicken. The long chicken. That might be my favorite thing. Long chicken. Can I get one long chicken? Yeah, you know, the shape that chicken comes in. I'm going to go find a place, which is harder than it sounds, actually, in Texas, that sells...

Long chicken? Chicken parm. I forgot what it was. It's so rare here. And I'm going to go, yeah, can I get the long chicken? Do you guys have chicken? Is there a way you can... If you said that on the East Coast, you'd be beaten.

In the restaurant. The fuck did you just say to me? Not even just because you mispronounced it. Just because you mean chicken parm. They'd go, are you, sir? Are you looking for a Burger King? Do you belong in a Burger King right now? What does this look like?

A Burger King to you? I will pound you now. Thanks for coming to Original Ray's Pizza. I bet Mandola's has a chicken parm. They got it, right? Yeah, thanks. This is the only really Italian restaurant I can think of. What do we know about this sandwich, Jordan?

Italian Original Chicken Sandwich. The Italian Original Chicken Sandwich features a lightly breaded long white meat chicken patty. He couldn't believe it. I watched him look over. Patty. I was so excited when you guys kept saying long chicken earlier. I'm like, this is great. I'm like, this is so good.

It's in the description. Here's the thing, too. I wasn't even looking at it. I looked up. I had a slack on my phone real quick. And you said long. And my eyes just shot over. Whipped over.

And even though I didn't know where the word was, I found it instantly. Long white meat chicken patty. You know, words that make you want to eat the food. Correct, correct. Let me check. This isn't a short chicken. No. Well, it might have been a short chicken, but the patty we made out of it

long. Long white meat chicken patty topped with a couple of slices of mozzarella cheese and marinara sauce between slices of a sesame seed bun. There's no Parmesan. That makes sense.

That didn't look like Parmesan, I guess. No, I mean, it was white. I love the couple of slices. Hey, oh. Hey, get your long cheese.. Throw a couple of slices on. What do you want? How many slices does it come with? In a determined amount.

Could be anywhere from two to three. It's a couple. Shut the hell up and eat your long chicken. It's a handful. You came in for the long chicken, not specific number of slices. Come for the long chicken. Stay for the cheese. Press material.

Quote, this limited time offer will feature the great taste of our long chicken sandwiches. You added the word long. I threw long in there. I had to. I need them to know. I need them to know where long truly exists and how many times they're willing to type it down. Should we put long in the press release? No, no, no, no.

They just keep saying it so that it starts sounding normal. Say it in the description. Don't type long. Don't type long! Don't type long! Delete it! Here's the copy for review. We gotta cut long. What do you mean?

It's not gonna work. What do you mean? No, it's a long chicken sandwich! They know that it's long. There's one guy just fucking fighting for it. No! So he snuck it in the food description, but not the press material. I'll show them.

I'll fucking show them. Long chicken sandwich. Boss was out of town that day. He hacked the website. There's limited time off where we'll feature the great tastes of our chicken sandwiches and we'll leverage our habit. Yeah, this is like secession. Yeah, like, okay, yeah.

I'm going to read it like Kendall Roy. Whoa. Fuck off. This limited time offer will feature great taste of our chicken sandwiches and will leverage our have-it-your-way equity by emphasizing a choice between these all-time favorites, said Kendall Roy, Senior Vice President, Marketing Programs and Sales, Burger King Corporation.

I mean, there wasn't enough, like, zipp zippity in there, you know, like brah. Yeah, right. He didn't say crush it. I like when he says, I'm starting to think this is a, this is a jackass sandwich. It's starting to feel like a jackass sandwich. I had to watch, I don't watch the session, but I watched clips of that guy and it's just him. Can you like at like a Met Gala saying fuck the patriarchy?

He did say that. Can you please refer to instagram by calling it insta because i would believe it more hey uh what kind of numbers are we getting on the uh have it your way equity is that is that getting any traction on on the floor it's it's kieran colkin right is like the younger brother or whatever and i just i assume he's going hi dad hello is it no not really he's usually talking about his dick his dick yeah he's way weirder than are you a or about uh fucking his mother? Is it like his own mother or something? Right, yeah.

Also fine. He's a bit of a... He's a character. He's just wacky. He's a wacky character. All good people, though. Anyway. The original chicken sandwich has been one of consumers' favorite sandwiches since its introduction over 25 years ago.

The Italian chicken sandwich has been a popular special offer in the past with proven appeal to our consumers. I kept thinking it was going to be customers. It's consumers. They came up with a worse word for a customer. It's true. Very weird. Very weird. They mean like you eat it.

You consume it. You're a consumer. Yum, yum, yum. I mean, a customer might imply people buy it and throw it away yeah a consumer a consumer can bust yeah he must consume that's true yeah right it's true what does leverage or have it your way equity i don't i don't even know and and will and i can't star consume gojo or will gojo consume waystar we don't know and what happened at cruises eric the vampire is there whoa not you no i know there's a guy named cousin greg yeah rising star i hear he's going from the bottom of the middle no no no the top of the middle to the bottom of

the top you can make it to the bottom of the top. That's really incredible. And it's funny when you hear something like that and you kind of laugh and then you realize like, oh, no, no. But bottom of the top is still like billions. Yes. Bottom of the top rules. Burger King's bottom of the bottom. Yeah, no kidding. Why be in line for the throne of Luxembourg or whatever when you can be the bottom of the top oh dude um

let's you said anyway that's enough for succession you said burger king podcast you should watch it though yeah i think i'll watch a very good show uh the ghosts the goat the they don't agree they'd understand it because uh brian cox is almost one of them yeah he seems very close they would really like it's a's a show where sometimes you watch a good show and you think, man, I hope this doesn't get canceled, or I hope the writers don't fuck it up. It's going strong. I just go, please, please stay healthy.

Stay alive, Brian Cox. Just stay healthy. Take your vitamins, jog. This show is so good. Our listeners are really gonna love the episode where he kind of gets dementia for for like an afternoon and they're like oh finally he's speaking my language i can relate to this they're gonna understand they're gonna go me and him yeah he starts losing his mind and he goes let's go to burger king get this get this get Burger King. Get this medicine! Get this cat out of here!

What the fuck is that? This is too much. This is too much. Yeah, it's pretty good. Burger King chicken sandwich. You said... Long sandwich! Fuck off.

You said Burger King is the bottom of the bottom. Let me run through a few restaurants and see if you think it's better than those. I mean, I'm joking. It might be bottom of the middle, but not even because I put it there.

Because there's too many fools out there. I can do a very simple better or worse. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's just start McDonald's. Better. Why talk to me?

McDonald's is better. Okay. Wendy's. Better. Better. Okay. Popeye's. Better.

Better. Okay. Easily better. Easily. Church's. Better. Okay. Popeye's. Better. Better. Okay. Easily better. Easily. Churches. Probably better because it's the same as Popeye's. Probably better. Yeah.

I'd say it's better. Shut the fuck up, Nick. Harsh. What about Golden Chick? Remember we had that Chipotle sandwich? I don't remember it. Better. Yeah.

Therefore, better. Right. Forgettable. I't remember it. Better. Yeah. Therefore better. Right. Forgettable plays into its hands. I don't wake up hating it. Yeah, exactly. We didn't get a bunch of people saying, golden chick's actually really good. I don't understand why they eat

golden chicks. Nick's peanut butter and jelly and bacon sandwich. Oh, better. I liked it. Oh, that thing. Yeah. Get rid of that middle slice of bread. Other than that. Yeah. Put some chicken in it. A long piece. A long piece of chicken. Because that was long bread.

So yeah, I think that like, those are kind of the ones that I wanted to throw. Because it's not like we've gone a Long John Silver. Yeah, go on. I would definitely say Long John Silver's is worse. But we haven't gone there. Yeah, but I just know that it's not like we've gone to long john silver yeah go on it's not like i would i would definitely say long john silvers is worse but we haven't gone there yeah but i just know that it's worse but it sucks i would oh they could root around but that's not at the bottom of the sea okay that's not that's not crazy burger king here's the last one we can rate it who why did a bunch of static just come out of your mouth? How did you do that?

Why do you sound like a dial-up? It's hard to rate bleep. When you say bleep, I go, what's that? Got it. What's better, this drink or I'm holding nothing? Something that doesn't exist. I can't even rate it. You know what I mean? I would say back in the day when that was a

thing yeah it was better than burger king it was better a lot of cups went but one water one stayed very nice that was very cool all right pulling a tablecloth that's it i just i just want to see what you guys thought about that and then uh you want to know what i think about the food yeah let's rate the food i thought you're going to talk about tom but the food makes more sense we're doing more secession stuff do you want to know what i think about tom piece of shit you gotta do that you gotta break some gregs to make it uh go on hold on i want that i want that to get its moment. Great.

All right. Yeah, it's Burger King. This is one of the worst things I've ever eaten. Long chicken. The marinara is like paste. It was really like high school cafeteria food, this sandwich. That nails it. That's exactly what it was.

What the fuck? Yep. What are they thinking, serving this to humans they're serving it but and i get that if it kind of flew under the radar but they're going aha look it's back it's back the long chicken we stretched it cafeteria food is the perfect explanation yeah it's like even the way it was wrapped like and you unwrap it and you go, ah, unappealing mess. Yes. Definitely. It really like visually you just, it looks exactly the same as I remember getting it.

It doesn't. Like the cheese was like melted to like the paper and the food, uh, in a very exciting The most exciting part about it was getting bit by ants while I ate it. Ooh, something interesting happened. You know what I mean? And they, and they can't get credit for that. And once again, I was like, got was like gotta folk like gotta find salvation somewhere like give me give me a breath of fresh air i'll go for the fries and then was like no oh i didn't even touch the fries are just

i turned down everything yeah you offered fries i said no there was some popper things i went I don't even I don't even want it right let's let's stop the theatrics let's stop the theatrics drop the act okay

you're Burger King I don't care what kind of fancy hat you put on or you know how expensive your front row seats were

right you're Burger King just give me the fucking chicken I'm contractually obligated to eat and let me move on i put on pants for this let me eat these and let's go bro yep um nick found like a thing of marinara sauce and he was like oh i'll add more to it and then it was somehow a different marinara sauce he was like this is like ketchup versus the marinara sauce that was on the sandwich was different.

And he opened it and was like, there's just like three lines of this marinara paste on the bun. He said that Wolverine got to it. It's like, what? It looked weird. It looked really weird. Like Wolverine swiped it with his marinara claws. Snicked. Snicked. Yeah, garbage food.

Don't want to go to Burger King ever again. Garbage food. I don't know that there's a more insulting thing to say about a restaurant. Garbage food for garbage people. You can be like, it's bad. It tastes bad. Garbage food. It's just such a general statement.

Yeah. And I don't think anyone wants to have their restaurant reviewed as such no but then don't be burger king yeah yes you know you know at what point can burger king save themselves like they're so far in this hole they gotta scrap it they gotta come like they need to like just make new shit they should they should like get rid of burger king they need to do a whole thing here here's the thing that thing. Where they can just be like, we're killing the king. But what you're talking about.

And then they call it regicide burger. And then. Government ants. And then. And then it's just like. CIA steps in. New recipes, new food,

and it's good. That's the only way you can save it is making good food, not called Burger King. I think that's what this was supposed to be. They're rebranding, going back to like the old look and everything, like their old colors and all that stuff.

Here's the thing. But I'm not eating the branding. That's for the parents. No, no. I'm eating the food, and it sucks. Exactly. It is, and you're right. Here's the thing they need to realize, though.

You've got the Burger King diehards, right? They're like, no, it's good. It's not. Yeah, you might shake the bee's nest a little bit if you just change everything right you wake up tomorrow burger king's just like whatever it's still some burgers and all that shit but like completely new recipes everything you'll get some people going hey i liked it but those those brainwashed cultists are still gonna go anyway yeah all you can do is maybe get people to go

wait burger king has come out and said we're awful, we're going to try something different. Let's give them one shot. You know what I mean? I would. And if it were good the people who like Burger King would probably think it sucks. I like the old Burger King. Yeah, but if that were the case then they'd be in the minority and Burger King might not be Burger King anymore.

They might be so successful they go, guys, we can change our name. We don't have to carry the shame anymore. They should just take Hungry take it back baby yeah australia can loan it to them anyway this gets a six oh my god six wow i don't know that it was better or worse i think it was worse than the chicken i'll be honest the the chicken's name angers me more than this i understand um i and I also feel like if you're going to throw around the word long chicken, put it in the title of the

food. Commit. Call it the Burger King long chicken sandwich. If this was called the Burger King long chicken, we would have eaten it sooner. It was under the radar. The only reason, like if you read it, I wouldn't even think I just happened to see

a picture of it and I went oh that's a like a chicken parm and that's the only reason it I suggested it

it's because I saw the picture of it it is a chicken parm and it's matz also could you get I don't know how they've done it but they've done

incredible work to remove all flavor from mozzarella absolutely it doesn't taste like anything It doesn't taste like anything. It doesn't taste like anything. It was just cheese. Yep.

This is cheese. Do you think it's beyond cheese? The marinara. I'm eating Feeb cheese. I don't know what it was. Feeb? Oh, no. Jordan looked over at our writing and he went, ooh.

It's just. That one should be called Siege. It was like. I mean, you nailed it. The first thing I thought of two bites in was, this is like middle school or high school lunch. Yeah. It's bland.

It wasn't bad, but it was bland. There was no flavor. It was just chicken. Its sole purpose is to make you not hungry. It was chicken that didn't have flavor. It was cheese that somehow didn't taste like cheese. And it was sauce that there was not nearly enough sauce. And of one of three ingredients, I guess four if you count the bread,

you'd think, fuck, just cover it in sauce. That's the save. And then we went, well, hang on. One scoop per sandwich. We got to let people enjoy the flavor of the save. And then he went, well, hang on. One scoop per sandwich. We got to let people enjoy the flavor of the chicken. We only have one marinara Wolverine here. It was very light in sauce, in my opinion. And I just went, who?

Why? Burger King, what have you done? Why? So what the last one got? What? A 15 average. Oh, no. You gave this one a six? you gave this one a 6 he gave it half the score he gave it last time

I think it's twice as worse he gave it a 12 he gave it a 6 this time you gave it an 18 last time can I give a 180 is that allowed or no no that's too many then I'm gonna give it a 9.65.

Wow. Not good. No. Not good. And here's the thing. You can tell, right? You could jump to the end. Feel free to round up.

You can jump to the end. No, don't round up. You can jump to the end of this podcast and go. 7.825. 7.825. 7.825. That's very exciting for the next time we eat Burger King and I go, and we gave it a 7.825. It's the average. That's very exciting for the next time we eat Burger King. And I go, and we gave it a 7.825. It's the average score.

And Michael goes, what? You can, I'll say, we've had Burger King. You can jump to the end of this podcast and go, as most people do, they go, look, I just need the numbers. Yeah, get me to the numbers. It's a numbers game. Yeah. It's just an hour-long commercial before we get to the numbers. And you'll hear 7.825 and and someone might say

man but like was it deserved or was there bias and you can listen to the whole episode and go no bias no bias absolutely no bias that was uh fair balanced that's it there's only two words that i can use to describe that. Yeah. And very smart. A lot of people are saying. A lot of people are saying very smart. A lot of people are saying that unbiased. That's what I'm hearing. That's what I'm hearing from a lot of people.

Let's go, Burger King. Did you get a booster? He's too short. Boo! Why are you flinching? Jordan's turned against me! Are you being psychically attacked? Look at him reaping. Oh, no. It's like a million fire ants biting my ankles.

But you put them there. I've been scooping these ants going, look at all my bugs. Why do they hate me now? We did it. It's a terrible sandwich. You got a snack for us? We actually are doing a syrup side today. Why didn't you tell me that?

What? Why didn't you tell me that? I would have eaten it an hour and a half ago. Yeah, but it was fresh. Here's your syrup side. I mean, not that it would have made a difference in quality. Jiggle it out of the bag. Yeah. Onto the table.

Away from you. What are you doing? Why do you keep dragging it back towards you like you're trying to entice me? Like you're Burger King. I would never. Alright, Burger King jalapeno popper. Yeah, jalapeno cheddar poppers.

Well, Michael's really going to town. I'm thinking. I'm chewing. I'm chewing. I'm thinking. Mmm. Mmm. Not as cold as I would have thought.

Still very cold, though. Awful cheese. It's terrible. So it's like they cut up the jalapeno. Don't throw it. Come on. Dang, almost got it in the bucket. Come on.

They cut up the jalapeno and they just put it in with like a cheddar sauce and they go, deep fry it, idiot. And then... That's like worse than Velveeta cheese. It's not even that deep fried it needed to be fried more yes it's a little soft it's a raw jalapeno yeah it's not it is it's like not even like the pickle or whatever it's uh get away from me 22 okay i was gonna say 20 wow average score 21 that's pretty easy that's a good one worst syrup side i've ever eaten wow not the worst snack attack no no no it's not vomit popcorn oh vom corn see how when you again you're going like it better or worse than burger king uh-huh there you go when you say churches and i go i don't know yeah Yeah. Vomit popcorn. It'll never leave my brain.

Ever. Terrible. Terrible. Worst thing we've ever eaten. I definitely think so. Worst thing we've ever eaten on the show. Because before that was 100% dark chocolate. Remember when we ate the 100% dark chocolate? I don't know.

And we all spit it out. The other thing too is like maybe that was enough to just, I think what happened is I built up antibodies. Yeah. Which is what I just keep saying. Get antibodies. All we need is antibodies. But I had it recently and it was not good yeah it was bad but i didn't have i ate a whole bar

yeah not out of enjoyment uh but it was like oh this isn't good but that's it yeah and other people were like and i think again i had the the choco antibodies, yeah, you built up sort of like... I think that's what happened. It's like a Princess Bride immunity to a poison or whatever. Dude, he's like the richest Chocolo. Well, if you want to send us a snack, you can. You can send us snacks. Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street,

Austin, Texas, 78723. My father was fingered by a six-fingered man. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Killed, killed. He was killed. That's what it was. Jordan was raising eyebrows so far they went to the back of his neck. Raised his eyebrows and then his tongue started coming out, which I thought was weird.

And then he turned into a reptile. Oh, no. That's how I smell. Hey, if you liked what you heard here. Why? For whatever reason, we're doing a live show in Chicago. That's right. Face Jam is coming to Thalia Hall on February 11th at 8 p.m.

Tickets are on sale now at rtxevent.com or you can use the link in the description. Get a ticket now because they're going fast. Apparently, all the VIPs are almost sold out. VIPs for like Q&A and stuff like that yes the four VIPs did you get my tickets? if you bought one of the VIPs guess what you're doing the show

those were our seats you better memorize the theme song Nick might not play it we'll announce what we're eating to ticket holders before the show so you can know what we're eating. You can have it too and make your own opinions that we won't listen to because that's not what the show's about.

To be very clear, you can have just like last time when we did our Burger King episode. And then it was, what's your score? And then we said, it doesn't matter. You don't get a vote. That is what this is.

So don't forget that this is a proof of vaccination required. Yay this is proof of vaccination required. Yay. Proof of vaccination required. If you don't have that. Can you go? Yes, he can. He showed me. Oh.

Yeah. It's like a picture on his phone. He showed me. Proof of vaccination is required. If you don't have that, don't come. I don't know what to tell you. Also, we don't want to hear it. Shut the fuck up.

Don't you. I don't know what to tell you. Also, we don't want to hear it. Shut the fuck up. Don't you dare complain. If you start tweeting at the Twitter account or my Twitter account, I'm going to just, I'm not blocking to block you. I'm going to block you. And that's just going to be the end of it. I don't care. We don't care. Shut up.

I literally don't care. It's the least you can do. I literally don't. Also. But why are we showing? Then why are we showing? I don't care. I literally don't care.

Don't buy a ticket. Also, don't do it. Just don't come. I don't care. Fuck off. Shut the fuck Don't buy a ticket. Also, don't do it. Just don't come. I don't care. Fuck off. Get the fuck away from me. Hey, that means somebody else is going to buy that ticket. The show, guaranteed.

I guarantee you will sell out. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. But if this does drive you to get vaccinated, be sure to tell your nurse, I'm getting vaccinated for phase two. Hey, if that's what happens. So that they can go, uh-huh. They told me to be brave.

Then they'll whisper and go, sounds like this guy just came from a Burger King. I think he's lost. If this shows the reason that you get vaccinated, do tweet at us and let us know, because I have to see that. With proof! Yeah, absolutely.

Well, actually, don't tweet your proof. Yeah, don't tweet your proof. Yeah, you don't have to do that. You can also check out our merch, so that way you can have it in time for you can show your True Jammer. You can get your Little shirt, your Red Web shirt. All the best. You can get your

Army Guy shirt. There's like a bunch of Army Guys. They're different colors. Get like a Mark Nut hat or something and that's probably something. I don't know what that is. So you can go to store.roosterteeth.com or something and that's probably something. I don't know what that is. Okay. So you can go to store.roosterteeth.com for all your face jam needs

and you can get that stuff today. Guys, we did it. Burger King. Do it. Hit the closing. Oh, so I'm in control. You always do it. This is what happens. This is how the show ends. I just wanted, the one thing we didn't talk about is when we were pulling up to the drive-thru

and you said, tell them there's an online order for Eric. What the fuck was that? And I went, who? And then pulled up and went, hi, we have an online order for Eric. And then the person working there goes, who? It was like the exact same cadence. It was bullshit. It was the fastest callback I've ever seen happen.

And then the ever-inspiring response, Eric. And then I said, that's not our name, but we're picking up. Yeah, he just kept Michael, like, kept talking past Jordan. I wish there was, like, a partition in the front seat to be like, please don't listen to him. Well, I sensed when you said Eric, and they said who, they went, you're not Eric. Wait a second.

Yeah, and I went, he's not... We're not saying that we're Eric, but Eric got our food for us. And then they went, no problem. Got the food. They picked it up off the floor, fed it to us. And now we're done. So rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and then rate the food.

You should send it to a friend who hates Burger King. Or likes it. Show them the light, okay? That's true. If you have a friend that likes Burger King, why? Send it to a person who likes Burger King and defends it and is also unvaccinated. And we can change their entire personality with this episode. You're about to get a new friend.

Let's live in reality. We might be able to get them vaccinated. I don't think we can stop them from eating at Burger King. Let them know about Feeb. Oh! Feeb! Feeb. He learned a new word. He learned a new word.