100% Eat - Burger King Spicy Nuggets

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Burger King Spicy Nuggets so you know if it's worth eating. Sponsored by us. Buy our merch at https://store.roosterteeth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it, you probably do. Thanks to us for making this show possible. Go us. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Swires. Jordan, how are you? Good. How are you? Thanks for saying my name correctly. I'm good.'m just trying to add a little twang to it you know punch it up because we talked about it last week i thought this name's too normal you know yeah it's too just like old-fashioned it really is the jones of polish names isn't it needs a punch up dude i took another bite of my nut are you eating on the

podcast is my last nugget. That's not allowed. I'm not chewing. I'm just talking with my mouth full. Is that better? That's not mukbanging. That's just chipmunking. I just came up with that just now. What about chipmunkbanging?

Well, now we're a whole different podcast. All right. Here's what I'll do. I'll swallow it whole. Thank you. It's what you need to do. Spicy. How are those, how is the outside just grating your esophagus?

It's grating. It's grating. I like chipmunking better than what's happening now. What do you call that? Like snaking? No, I call it fire breath. Did you unhinge your jaw? Oh, God. What did you unhinge your jaw oh god what did you just uh force down your throat when i just shoved down there like it was a hot wiener was the uh burger king spicy

nuggets and i'm gonna i'm gonna say this here in case you think i forgot the format is dead wow here's the thing i i missed it last week you can't put it you can't put it back in the jar it had its time it's ended gracefully in a way i'm kind of glad that power struggle ended and i just thought i missed it i i no longer have the right so we'll see what i come up with next time it's just a matter of time something takes its place it's like a hydra it's like eric eric may you may have won the battle but the war shall go on eric well we're all gonna lose the war yeah absolutely it's this whole podcast is one big war of attrition it's us versus the listener it's all in right yeah who blinks first now no one will see this and the screams will echo throughout the universe uh that they want to see it and they won't but all four of us are wearing our 100% eat hats hats i was gonna 100% eat shirts, but it's a hat now.

It looks like the shirt, but on hat. Right, and it's on the front top. The front top, not the front. I got a lot of comments about that when we started posting the pictures, that it was on the front top. Nick, what the fuck did you just do? What are you doing? I think he's taking a social picture. You better run that by the social team first.

Yeah, because that's got to go through. Then it's got to go through the FaceStream jam graphic design team so they can blur out your face we needed to get this little monster assigned an nda because now i don't trust them are you even know more of your nugget yeah it's just there's just one left i have to eat it i have to eat it and you can't hear me you're just watching me do it okay i keep forgetting you can see me. Oh, my God. How did he know? I'm the emperor.

No one's going to get that. No, but it's funny. But it's funny. I'm sitting in the emperor's throne room okay it took Eric like 30 seconds to like click do it oh man

we went to Boyga King and they're having this is crazy this is a crazy deal this is the biggest deal we've ever done. I think as far as savings unto you, the jammers.

Eight piece. They have regular nuggets and spicy nuggets. Eight pieces for one dollar. Crazy. One dollar. And they're, you know, adequate sized nuggets.

They're not micro nugs or anything. No, no, they're full on. They're what you think of when you think of a nugget. I was really wondering what they would look like when I got there. Like before, I mean, you could see a picture of them once you got there. But on the drive there, you know, I was sweating.

I was nervous. I didn't know what would happen. I was freaking out about the nuggets. I almost crashed a couple times. But I got there. Normal nuggets. It's a stressful drive. The drive home was much more relaxed.

Oh, I was farting like crazy because I was so relaxed. Yeah, that's what I do when I'm relaxed too. Yeah, you just let it all out. You just tense up and you bottle it up and you feel like you're going to blow. And then you get the nuggets and you see that they're normal nuggets and then you just fart all the way home.

I felt like the drive there, I was like the drive there i was like the molasses tank in boston and i was like and then on the way home i just blew 20 million gallons of molasses just trailing behind my car like 20 people died in molasses all of the environmental gains we had from uh lockdown and uh i ruined it undone i ruined it from one drive from burger king back to your house so man um burger king who goes to burger king anyone nobody nobody no one in a world where mcdonald's exists no one i agree with you man it i i was never a fan of burger king and specifically as a kid and this

might make more sense i had it more recently like a couple years ago and i didn't dislike it nearly as much as i did as a kid but i think the whole thing that turned me off of it as a kid was it was too much of like a real burger you know like flame broil flame grill whatever i'm like no i want that microwave shit dude that's what i love i could just it's like dog food i just chew it up and swallow it and burger king i was like i don't like this so i never i never liked their burgers as a kid the only time i would go there was uh usually like if they had some sort of chicken strips or something on sale when i was a teenager and i had a couple dollars i might go if they had chicken strips they also of them or mcdonald's they had onion rings and mcdonald's did not

it's weird that mcdonald's has never had onion rings i don't know what that is a little strange it's like some hill that they're they insist on dying on like they had a fight with the onion ring company or something and they're like we will never have you even when they do stuff on like their burgers like they've done like onion petals or whatever the fuck they call them but they're never like full-on onion rings huh maybe they tried onions and they were just they were god awful when they thought never again. It's funny you mention that because McDonald's not doing it makes me react to other places having it as

like it's novel. You're saying, yeah. I agree. The majority of fast food restaurants probably have onion rings, but no matter what, if I go, oh, they have onion rings, that's unusual. When do you ever go, oh, they have fries? You don't because everyone has them but some fuckers like mcdonald's don't have onion rings so it adds that oh oh does wendy's

have onion rings i don't think so bastards they don't have shit i'll tell you they don't have meat right now they're out of hamburgers zero percent. You might get a bun. You want a bun burger? Are we about to move into an era where we're about to get a lot of chicken deals on this podcast? I don't know, man. Back to being a chicken podcast? I'm fine with that. I mean, I'm fine with it.

And this, I feel like the value saved this one, right? The fact that you get eight chicken nuggets for a dollar is certainly extreme other than that it's a fucking chicken nugget i mean we've talked about how some of the stuff we've done is it's just a cheeseburger that's whatever obviously we try to go for the more like weirdo just like crazy creations this is a fucking chicken nugget i mean they i didn't even i didn't even get sauce with mine that's great crazy. I had the nugget and I went, this is it. I bring this up because Nick sent a picture of him holding 40 different sauces. Nick had like... He got all of them. This is before you got here, Michael.

We were eating and talking with Nick. And he's like, yeah, I got like... I told them I wanted all of the sauces. But then you ate the last of the nuggets. You couldn't see that. You don't know. Nick told them that he wanted all of the sauces plus extras. So he got all of that.

And then he came home. He bought food for himself and his wife. His wife took one of the sauces and he went, I mean, if I would have known that, I would have gotten more. She took a zesty sauce and he went wrong with that's the one that i i mean i wanted that and it's like you have more he's holding up the he's holding up the zesty sauce to the cameras you're saying this and i don't know if that's him saying he took it back from his wife yeah

i'm wondering this is the work she wanted yeah it's okay i fought her and i got it nick's sleeping on the couch, but it's okay. It's crazy that they have a sauce. They just have a sauce called Zesty. I think White Castle has that too. What? What do you think it tastes like? Zesty?

It's very zesty. Interesting. Someone threw a bunch of shit together and said, what's that? I don't know. Zesty. Something exciting. that i don't know something exciting uh so well what happened was i didn't really care about sauce because i wanted to eat the nug and judge the quality of the nug so i wasn't gonna judge yeah order any but i was shocked they didn't ask they didn't ask and then i thought okay they'll just

ask me out the window nope they just handed me my nuggets and away I went and I went hmm I wonder if you went to the same one as Nick after Nick could have been it could have been it Jesus possible I mean they asked me at the window if I wanted sauces and then instinctively I said buffalo so

I just had hot sauces with hot nuggets and my stomach feels weird right now buffalo sauce with chicken nuggets. They asked me and I got as a serp side mozzarella sticks so I just said oh marinara for the mozzarella sticks please and then

got home and realized I didn't get an actual sauce for the nuggets but I had ranch so I just had ranch. Man. That's my story. What a tease for the serp side I like it. i dry dogged it wow i ate all you didn't even choose some of them uh yeah that's correct it was really dry it was dry i was chipmunking and then i swallowed it like a snake i'll say this what i did though i'll save this for the review at the end i also got the regular nuggets. Not to rate, but just for comparison. Wow.

I wanted to compare it to further my knowledge of the spicy nuggets. It's like a control and a variable in a scientific experiment. I like it. And I feel like, in a little tease, I feel like I learned a lot. I don't doubt it. I can't imagine eating the regular nuggets without a sauce. I lived it. Wow.

Do you guys remember the commercial um i remember it when i was a kid like in elementary school uh there's a commercial where they're advertising like whatever the burger king kids meal is like where you get the crown but they they had this little cartoon character and it was like everyone has spoken but burger king's fries are better than mcdonald's and like yeah i remember seeing that being like that's not true that's not true that's wrong and then like as like that was the first like righteous stand i took as a kid where i was like i'm not going to burger king they're lying to me well that was that's another one of this crazy shit okay this is why you can't trust the mainstream media. They're out there lying to you.

Wendy's thing, right? They just started their breakfast, I don't know, a couple months ago now? Like two, three months ago? Their slogan was like, world's greatest breakfast or best fast food breakfast or some shit like that, right? Some sort of like, we've been rated the best fast food breakfast. And then the tagline under it the tagline under it was like well it's not out yet but it will be like literally to that effect they're just like i mean we're just saying it because it's gonna happen though and i was i said how dare you

you can just say shit it's ridiculous say whatever you want not like this show that's based on fact exactly just the facts we have a fact section in fact right that solidifies it yeah and there are no opinions in it no they're all facts why would there be opinions it's the fact section yeah i didn't go to burger king it was wild i was driving there today going i can't believe i'm going to burger king me too i feel like burger kings they smell weird they have a distinct smell when you go in there. I think it's from their grills. And like... It's all that damn fresh meat. It's all that flame broiled-ness.

Also, like, they advertise the Whopper as like, ooh, it's flame broiled. I don't know what that means. Just give me the burger. I just want... I don't give a shit how you make it. Yeah. Well, whatever you're doing, it tastes bad, so maybe change that welcome to burger king we make it taste like shit oh great thank you

cool uh give me a crown and uh you're better than mcdonald's fries please outrageous and the only the only thing i think that can top McDonald's fries, and I can't even name a place off the top of my head, is real good curly fries. Yep. And even then, sometimes you just want the dons. I'm a crinkle cut guy. If there's a good crinkle cut, I go for that.

You like them thick. Yeah, give me that crinkle. Eric says no crinkle. No, I don't like it i don't like a bigger fry like i like to play like it's an accordion oh weird i usually just eat them uh like these fries at burger king were like these are like tooth they're thick they're weird thick but not they don't taste like anything they have have no taste. They taste like if I were to make French fries at my home and did not put salt on them.

I want a French fry, damn it, not a potato. It's just potato. Yeah. It's just like a big old hawk of potato. Yep. I can do that at home, yeah. Fuck off. Anyway, we hate Burger King.

Hate's a strong word. I strongly dislike them, and I hope hope they fail i don't prefer them i just think it's it is literally the lowest rung on on the fast food it really is it's like like we were talking about off camera one time about like how mcdonald's is like the walmart and wendy's is kind of like the nicer offshoot, the Target. And it's like Burger King is like, I don't know, the Save for Less or the Dollar Store. It's funny because I think we're all on agreeance here, but that kind of surprises me because there's people that love Burger King.

There's people that will say it's better than McDonald's. And I don't get that. I'm with you. I think generally speaking I would think McDonald's and Burger King are like the Coke and the Pepsi. I don't think that at all. It's crazy to me that

people think that. There's 10 other restaurants I would put above Burger King but they're out there man. It's a fucking monarchy. McDonald's is the Coke and Burger King is the Chasta or mr pibb or something um something that always sticks out to me about burger king and and and the good old days which were awful days is burger king's whole slogan when i was a kid at least i

don't know what it is now was have it your way correct because this was slogan when I was a kid, at least I don't know what it is now, was have it your way. Correct. Because this was a thing. This was a selling point that at Burger King you could come in and just order whatever you wanted and they'd make it. And people didn't do that. They were like, no. You order

what's on the menu. No substitutions. No changes. That was a big deal. Burger King was like, you could come in and just fucking piss us off and we'll make it, dude. You want some shit? what's on the menu no substitutions no changes right it was that was a big deal burger king was like you could come in and just fucking piss us off and we'll make it dude you want some shit you want extra bacon you want no lettuce we'll do it and that was like their thing and then everyone else in the world went well we do that too now so and burger king was like uh well you uh uh it's more of a spiritual having there goes your thing burger king now anyone can hang the one thing anywhere yep now literally anywhere you go ronald had his way

with me i don't want that king anywhere near me here's the thing mcdonald's had the weird creepy clown and i mean to be fair forever since you know the 20s when McDonald's started. It's like Burger King needed to get on their level. Burger King got a serial killer. And they said, let's get a man. Let's dress him like a king. Put a giant fucking head on him, a.k.a. a mask. But have him sneaking and hiding in the bushes and spying on people. What a great mascot and marketing campaign.

And then let's make a bunch of games about it. The best. The Sneak King, where you hide at construction sites and jump out of trash cans and startle construction workers

with breakfast sandwiches. What the hell? This is so weird. Did you have that game? Of course I did. Me too. Probably one of the only reasons I went to Burger King was like, I hate this place but they're giving out fucking xbox 360 games and they have

achievement wasn't wasn't he in like a tony hawk as well where you could like skateboard as the burger king oh i don't know i know spider-man was that's a different guy i get those i get those mixed up a lot sometimes i mix up the burger king with spider-man i'm not saying i'm mixing up i'm just saying spider-man i'm always definitely in tony hawk burger king guy i don't know he's just the king i'm the burger king guy he's the goddamn king but yeah he was like michael myers he didn't talk he had this permanent weird grimace on his face not grim because not that grimace who did not the face jam grimace who's getting grimace noace. Not the face jam Grimace. Who's getting Grimace? No, it wasn't even face jam.

It was somebody else we were trying to give them to. It was Whataburger. It was Whataburger. That's what it was. The face jam Grimace. Yeah. We were like an adoption agency. We come in, pick up Grimace, and we pair him with some parents that are looking for a kid,

and he needs a home, and that was Whataburger. We were simply fostering the Grimace until he could find his forever it was just temporary yeah oh man wild i couldn't find the i couldn't find burger king and tony hawkforskater i'm sorry but maybe he'll be in the remake of one and two oh man we can only hope. Man, we're getting real dangerous. We already did the whole Blu-ray. The last episode was out of control. The longest episode that didn't deserve it at all. Two ads.

It was like six side tangents. But you now have entered the realm of talking about the Tony Hawk remakes. And I suggested, would it be funny if they remade it? But it was Tony Hawk now. It is. It was a playable character. No, but I but it was Tony Hawk now. It is. It was like a playable character. No, but I mean like in his 50s. It is.

Is it really? What? All of the characters are current versions, like Steve Caballero and everything. It's current versions of the- Are you serious? Yes. I was just saying that. I saw the box art and that was it. This is what they're doing.

So is it like harder to skateboard because you're just a little olderil yeah is tony hawk still incredible especially for his age right and i'm not i'm not like saying oh man he couldn't do that now what i am saying is if he fell now he would die right you know in the game when you fall and then you get back on the board it just says game over yeah the stakes are much higher in this one you can't fail even once you better make sure that when you're grinding you keep that balance meter right all the levels take place in a bouncy house the warehouse is now yeah it's now just like it's got cushioned walls and stuff. That's wild. Yeah, isn't that crazy? Then also it ruins my joke. Sorry, man. No, it's my own fault.

You should have done your research. I should have researched the facts. Yeah. And I didn't. That's what I'm here for. I just went off the cuff and now I look like a fool. It's all right. I'm here. Now I've got Burger King's breakfast sandwich egg on my face.

Do you want to get into the facts that's that yeah yeah i don't want to talk about burger king anymore yeah like like i give me a script damn it okay here we go these are the burger king facts brought to you by eric badour although it's in 79 countries Screaming child We're rolling Hey quiet on set Quiet That kid yeah dude Who is that

I don't know dude That's my ex-girlfriend's daughter Although it's in 79 countries Burger King isn't called Burger king everywhere in australia burger king is called hungry jacks due to copyright laws this is a fact i've seen it and it's the exact same colors yep and it's damn you look at it and go is that a fake burger king it's like a yeah it's like a weird like mandela effect where it's like were they always called this and i just didn't notice but what's funny is I still didn't want to go there.

Mm-hmm. I went, you kept it so similar, I know I don't like you. Yep. And I won't go in you. Yeah, it's almost too similar. Yeah. They should have taken that opportunity to mix it up. I have the story about that,

and I'll get into it after the facts. I don't want to get off track here. There are 12 Burger King crown cards in existence. The card allows the holder to get unlimited free Burger King for life, which is like having a card that allows people to spit in your face all you want forever. Yeah, cool. Neat. Is there like a monetary value involved with that that I could like take instead?

Is there a monetary value involved with that that I could like take instead? Do you think people, the 12 people, go to Burger King and use it on the $1 nuggets? I mean, the story that I read was Jay Leno and it's like, okay, your total is $11. And he's like, here's my Burger King crown card. Wait, wait, wait. There's 12 and Jay Leno has one? Yep. Yep. He doesn't need one.

I agree. He has a lot of money. And a lot of cars. He's got a lot of cars. Hey, you know how... A lot of cars. You gotta... Got a lot of cars.

To be rich, you gotta be thrifty. So he's saving money on Burger King. Even still. He's gonna be the first guy... $11 saved. He's gonna be the first guy that does take it with him when he dies. Oh, yeah. Now there's 11.

Yeah. Well, you probably... That's probably in writing, right? You probably can't pass the bill. Yeah. You probably can't transfer it. does take it with him when he dies. Oh yeah, now there's 11. That's probably in writing, right? You probably can't pass them down. Marry me with my crown card! Yeah, that might be part of the stipulations. That he dies with you, like those lottery payouts. Boom, done. Burger King has a Twitch channel, which is great, just in case

literally every other channel on Twitch decides to stop streaming at the same time. Imagine subbing to the Burger King Twitch channel PogChamp. What? I didn't get that. What does that mean?

That's more of a kappa than a pogchamp Eric that's one of those things that's why I didn't get it yeah I mean I don't think that joke was for I'm glad I didn't get that the few younger listeners that we have I know that most of our demographic doesn't watch twitch

yeah if you're confused about that go to twitch.tv slash brown man and he'll explain it our demographic doesn't watch Twitch. They just Twitch. Yeah. It's totally different. Yeah, it's a different type of Twitch. People are listening and going, I'm Twitching right now.

Burger King Twitches too? If you want to know more about that, call your grandson. Ask him. Read that to him. Yeah, what does this mean? He'll explain it to you if you said kappa or if you said pepe i would have got it oh i i wouldn't have got it i would have went i've heard of that i wouldn't have got it yeah i would have said if you had changed it i think it

would have been the same result no no no no no see that was pure confusion it would have been the same result. No, no, no. No, no, no. See, that was pure confusion. It would have been. I've seen people say that. Oh, cool. See the difference? Mm-hmm. In 2007, a Vermont man got three bites into his cheeseburger before discovering an unwrapped condom in the middle of it. In his lawsuit, the man claimed he now suffered from, quote, sustained pain and suffering,

vomiting, nightmares, mental and emotional distress end quote but i assume that it was just from the burger i knew it was coming that's why i started yep slam dunk it was a really long walk but you knew the destination yeah yeah unwrapped oof yep yep was it used uh what yeah all that i saw was that he described a sour foreign taste so take that how you will sounds like it was just a burger again could have been the burger it's impossible to you know it's a mystery that can't be solved it's true like a rubik's cube a what a rubik's cube oh i thought you said a ribik's cube no i said rubik's i botched it a little bit oh okay i started twitching cube kappa come on guys Resident sleeper over here. Oh, man. Okay, here we go. Last one. In 2015, as recent, Burger King took out a full two-page ad asking McDonald's to combine forces for the UN's International Peace Day and create the McWhopper with the money raised going to charity.

McDonald's declined the offer and the war rages on to this day. God have mercy. What? So they could have had world peace. What's the angle there? I think that it was. Did they think by throwing this out in the public, McDonald's would have to accept? I think so. And then McDonald's would have to accept. I think so. We're going to make fools out of them.

And then McDonald's just went, no. McDonald's was like, who is this? Who is this? I don't know who this is. It's that scene in Avengers Endgame when Scarlet Witch is like, you took everything from me, and that's Burger King. And then Thanos is McDonald's and goes, I don't even know who you are. Calm down, lady, McDonald's said to Burger King.

Yeah. McDonald's said to Burger King. It's just a two-page ad. Man, I kind of want to see that ad. Right? Let me see if I can find it. See if you can find that, because maybe we can forward that over to the social team and they can post that or you can find it and we could just read it if it's funny i'm sure it's not funny it's

about international peace day i mean it'll be it'll be funny to laugh at them that's what i feel like they really put like they were like hey it's for a good cause all you need to do is partner up with us burger king i know you see us as your enemy and like biggest competitor and mcdonald's is just like what did you say something yeah right huh we'll have world peace on our own we're mcdonald's we can do whatever we want if i were mcdonald's i would have been like cool cool cool and then did whatever they wanted to do by themselves yeah without without burger king and burger king's like yeah but yeah but we helped hey it was our idea and those are just the facts uh i found the open letter to mcdonald's oh my god it says an open letter

from burger king to mcdonald's in big font any any like open letter anything that's like an open letter to x y whatever i just immediately like start cringing like it it starts by saying good morning mcdonald's again burger king is run by fucking dorks you think like they like they were like all grouped together like huddled around the keyboard like oh man we should start with good morning McDonald's. Oh man, that's so good. We're so good.

This is the overthought text message that you send to a girl that you like. And like you're trying to come off as like, hey, whatever. I'm just kind of like hanging out and being like nonchalant. And it's so long and does not have to be this sucks does it say at the end we await your response let's end the beef with beef hang on here's how i know that this is that text message that you nervously send to a girl. The end of it is talk soon, Burger King. Talk soon. Ball's in your court.

I feel like it would have been great if they responded with like a full page ad that just said red. Oh, no. Well, there you go. Nobody has those turned on, though. You're a maniac. No fucking turn on read receipts. Nuts. i don't want you to know i mean i don't but other people do maniacs do people that don't understand things they don't understand the way of life i'll i mean you know i'm ignoring you because i didn't reply to you but you don't know it like you don't

have you know what's insane some people leave those on and say that if it's red that's me acknowledging the thing where it's like hey let's meet up let's meet up here at this time and then if it's red that's just as good as saying okay yeah but that's not like a button right if you look at it it's red like yeah exactly that doesn't mean you've read it and and agree to it if there's a goddamn thumbs up that you clicked and it said, Red, they're in. That'd be different. Exactly.

That just means you opened your fucking phone. Yeah. Maybe. You could have done it on accident, too. Yep. Yeah, so I don't get it. I don't trust it, and I don't get it. It's like, hey, let me check my mail real quick.

Oh, shit, I just agreed to a foursome. Uh-oh. It says Red. Oh, no. check my mail real quick oh shit i just agreed to a foursome oh it says red oh no well time to go back to wienerschnitzel all right jordan hit him with the spicy spicy nuggets read dude all right spicy nuggets buckle and this is a long one burger King spicy nuggets are made with a spicy homemade are made with a spicy home style breading that gives the product

a fiery kick that's the end okay that's the description of the food that's all you need to know apparently I guess you know there's really not much to them. Dude, they're nuggets.

You don't have to stress about it. Fart all you want right now. It's fine. They're nuggets and they're spicy. Next part says, I found no press release, so I emailed Burger King's media inquiries address and this is what I received. This is in full. Burger King's media inquiries address and this is what I received. This is in full. This is in full

what I received from Burger King in plain text in the most boring looking email. Burger King has brought back its beloved spicy nuggets along with an amazing deal. Starting May 14th, fans can get eight spicy chicken nuggets for just $1. Burger King spicy nuggets are made with

a spicy homestyle brand that gives the product a fiery kick. Attached is an image of the product. Parentheses. No image was attached. The savings don't stop there either. From May 25th through June 30th, Burger King will be offering free delivering. Delivering.

With a minimum purchase of $20 on the BK app. Best, Dara. Thanks, Dara. Thanks, Dara. That is the email. I emailed their media inquiries. That's it. Attached is a photo of the product. There's nothing attached. She copy pasted that and

forgot to attach the image. It is a plain text email. They just went, here you go, idiot. That's nuts. burger king is run by dorks it's dorks dude it is straight up it's dorks i also like how the there's no i mean there's obviously no flowery language or anything but there's no excitement either like the sentence that says the savings don't stop there either ends with a period they don't like it they don't like i like that it says

that they're offering free delivering. Yeah. We're giving free delivery? Listen, listen. The delivering is coming. Okay. That's what Papa John was talking about. Okay.

Dude, Papa John's TikTok channel. Yeah, I didn't get into that. I had seen that before you brought that to our attention. Papa John's TikTok is like him just showing off how rich he is which furthers what i've been saying about why is this guy doing anything just be rich and i i don't mean oh he's got some money i mean he's fucking rich right like

he's got this ridiculous mansion estate like he's there's did you see the one where he it's like welcome to my crib and he opens the front door and and like it's his whole it's like a 40 foot ceiling he's got marble floors it's red dude it makes the resident evil mansion look like shit there's two eagles in like grabbing each other like falling to earth and i think that if you rotate the talon it opens the secret passageway to get into the basement to find wesker's lab but that's i can't say one way or another if that's true the whole the whole house tour is you walk in the front door and then he's like over here is the library and then and then the end that's the end of the video he's teasing he's probably

listening to the episode he's teasing money it's about it's about the pizza it's about the principle of being able to say the words that they say that he wants to say too well he just wants everyone to be equal that's why he wants it's pretty wild papa john John's TikTok is wild. And I feel okay with that because that's food related. We're keeping track on food here. I got another food thing I want to pop in real quick

before we get into the review. Okay. So I mentioned, you know, Hungry Jack's could trick you if they made themselves not look like Burger King, but they didn't try at all. So you know it's a Burger King.

I ordered food last night and I was looking for, I was like, I guess I'll get a burger but I wanted like a like a real burger like a bar burger not like a fast food burger so I found a place that delivered called who it was like Hootie's Burger Bar and I was like okay sure so I'm looking through and like the food looks pretty good. The pictures they have is like a big fucking fat burger. So I order a burger. I get some fries, mac and cheese, mozzarella sticks, and then, you know, trying to get my protein up. So I order a whole other entree.

I got a chicken sandwich. I tried to continue the tradition of the spicy chicken sandwich before Face Jam. tradition of the spicy chicken sandwich before face jam so i got a crispy chicken sandwich with buffalo sauce and blue cheese because i was gonna make it a hot chicken sandwich um but i'm looking at the chicken sandwich and next to the chicken sandwich they have chicken wings and the description for the chicken wings is like hooters classic chicken wings and i'm looking at it i'm like is this is this hooters because it's called hooties and there's no branding for hooters classic chicken wings. And I'm looking at it. I'm like, is this Hooters? Because it's called Hooties. And there's no branding for Hooters anywhere on it.

Is this a Pesqually's situation? Hooties burger bar, right? It totally is. And I just went, I don't know. Weird. Whatever. I order it. Shows up at my house in a fucking Hooters bag.

I'm like, it is Hooters. What the fuck? You tricked me. The burger was amazing. I think it was delicious. So was the sandwich. The fries were fucking terrible and I hate them.

But the, dude, the burger and the chicken sandwich was amazing. They fucked me though because they didn't put buffalo sauce on it. So it was just a regular

chicken sandwich and I was upset about that. Well, you got an order from Hooters if you want that. I didn't have the hot shits for today's episode. So more of the tradition

just went out the window. But that blew my mind. I'm like, you could just call yourself Hooties? How dare you? Do you know about other restaurants doing that? Do you know about Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, that's what I said. And Lindsay brought that up.

She's like, yeah, they named it after one of the other animatronic guys or something. Because nobody was ordering Chuck E. Cheese. Why would you ever do that? You're looking at a list of restaurants. It's like Chuck E. Cheese. Why would you ever do that? You're looking at a list of restaurants that's like Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, hell yeah. I always go there for their food. Pasquale's Pizza, on the other hand.

I'll try this new place. And then it comes in a Chuck E. Cheese box and you're like, did I just get hootied in the breakfast? I love it. Yeah, I love it because they trick you, but they don't care enough to change the bags. Nope. They go, fuck it, we're not buying new bags. it yeah i love it because they trick you but they don't care enough to change the bags no they go i'm fucking we're not buying new new bags that was i i opened the door i went crazy you crazy

was the person delivering it at least in a hooters uniform or anything i didn't look at him yeah that's that's like leave it on my doorstep like Like, get out of here. I'm a troll. Get out of here. Yep. Don't look at me. So watch out out there if you're ordering. You got to be smart. You got to be careful. You got to read the fine print.

Yep. Read those descriptions. Because nobody's going to, who goes to Hooters for the food? Michael, I guess. He didn't know. I didn't go. I was tricked and they came to me but also it was great i'd order it again and i was blown away it was hot too i i will now now that i've

been tricked i know i don't know about hooters but this hooties place is really good do you think like now that i've been tricked i'm into it see now now it's worked and everyone this is just a testimonial or you should just like sell sell this clip to the restaurants who are thinking about doing this it was great oh it'll work it happened yesterday and i was like i gotta talk about this on face i was that's crazy i was that's crazy do you think hooter secretly has good food and they're just bad they do i ate it was great. Because my wife tells- I can speak to the other side of that and say I've been like twice and no, they don't. Dude.

You didn't have hooties though. You had hooters. That's true. I just had hooters like an idiot. Maybe hooties just borrows hooters bags and they sound suspiciously close, but they're totally different restaurants. I don't think so. My wife has a story where somebody at her high school used to love going to Hooters and like people would always like make fun of them and be like, yeah, yeah, I know why you like going to Hooters nudge nudge.

And he's like, yeah, I really like their wings are great. And then they were like, yeah, their wings, quote unquote. And then he came out as gay and everybody was like, oh, I guess he just really did like the wings. That's amazing. That's that's pretty awesome they're cheap too man you can go in there and you can order like 80 wings and they just bring them out on one plate yeah they're not good no no they're not good very little eat too yeah there's not a lot of eat on those wings those are not very those aren't very this hat wouldn't fly there they'd ask us to leave yeah it's like uh people are

gonna get the wrong idea yeah you gotta spread that propaganda here uh when you're talking about being tricked by food uh i would go to there's a bar in san diego that had like free arcade game they had like a like an arcade it was a barcade thing or whatever, but all the games were free and the drinks were cheap and it was kind of like in the middle of like a strip mall kind of an area. And you're like, ah, whatever. It was cool.

It was a good place to go. And they had food. So you would order like macaroni and cheese bites and like buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks. And you would put in the order with the bartender and the bartender would leave. The bartender would leave. They put in the order with the bartender and the bartender would leave. The bartender would leave. They would take the order and then walk out the front door and then go somewhere and then come back.

And then a short while later, a phone would ring and then they would leave again and come back with food. And you're like, what the fuck is going on? The bar was next door to a strip club they would order the food at the strip club and then you would eat it at the bar and while playing off-road or uh teenage mutant ninja turtles arcade game how much was the food right because there had to be an upcharge right no it was cheap it was crazy i don't know how any of it worked the bartender leaving was crazy does he technically work for both establishments i think i think they're probably owned by like

the same person and they're like we're not gonna put a kitchen in this one idiot just come next door to the strip don't just leave the leave the bar they would make maybe more sense the other way around yeah you would you would think so but no just the bartender leaves and you go so is it closed or is this place closed now it's not and then he gets a phone call and it's like is that does that have to do with my food why are you leaving again and it does 100 of the time wow so i i know your pain i know what it's like to be tricked he's eating you're eating hooters food he's eating strip club food i was eating hooties dude keep telling keep telling yourself it's also like what you change the name to hooties like that's not even clever. They're like, we got to leave in most of the letters.

And fuck it, don't change the description of the food at all. Just copy paste it. But instead of Hooters, we'll call it Hooties. Oh, man. Wild. That's fucking great. With a side of blowfish. All right.

Well, should we yeah let's get into review the food nugget these nuggets are so nuggets guys they are in fact chicken nuggets and they were food i there's really not much else i mean uh it, I guess if I were to describe it, it's like, they taste like they were made with a spicy homestyle breading that gives the product a fiery kick. Like, that's just, yeah, that's just how I felt about it. Those are your own words. Yeah. In all honesty, I actually really liked it.

It had just enough spice for me. In all honesty, I actually really liked it. It had just enough spice for me. Like, I feel like most of the time, fast food stuff that, like, advertises as spicy is just going to cater to the everyman, you know, who doesn't like intense spice. But this one had a little extra kick. I feel like I've become totally immune to Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich because I can just eat that and be like, oh, yeah, I forgot this is spicy. It didn't taste like any spice at all. Yeah, I know. That shocks Michael.

But I, you know, I eat it frequently enough. You got mouth muscles. Ah. But yeah, this one had a little spicy kick that kind of hung around and it's like just enough for me because I don't understand people who like spicy food. I don't understand eating something and then

wanting it to hurt you. I don't know. What do you call somebody who's into that? Like a spice rat? I mean, I'm under the impression that most people that eat very spicy food, it doesn't hurt them, is the impression that I'm under. And then

they like the flavor. If you eat food and cry, I don i don't get that i mean other side of the coin call them a spice rat apparently yeah that just seems like what they're they'd be called i don't know it seems like they would be called spice rat like that that's what they call themselves or like yeah yeah it's like it's like yeah i'm a proud spice rat like they probably have like kind of like the salt life sticker on their cars it's just a spice rat i'm a proud spice rat eric don't don't act like you're not gonna start going around calling yourself a spice rat local spice rat i'm not saying that he won't but i don't think he'll do it uh positively i don't think anyone's gonna appreciate being called the spice rat.

You know, like that majestic creature everyone loves, the rat? The rat? And then he eats spicy food and takes spicy poops, but it's okay. You know what? I woke up today, I'm feeling like a rat. What do you got for me? You got anything hot? This rat wants to burn. Yeah, I think it's a self-deprecating kind

of thing weird is this what swears science is just science this is This is like swear sociology. It's a swear psyche. Oh, my God. Get inside the mind of a rat. Well, I'm trying to pat this as much as possible because it's a fucking nugget. You're doing it. The breading is good. The spice level is good.

It's a little chewy, which is a little weird. It makes the chicken feel like a lower quality. But at the same time, it's a very small nugget, and there were only eight of them. And it's just a dollar. It's a dollar. It's good value. But, yeah, it was fine. I think Wendy's spicy nuggets are better. Anyway, I give this a 70.

It's pretty good. It's pretty good. They were pretty good. I have to agree with almost everything Jordan said. And because I had the regular, I have even more of an insight. He's got more information. You really nailed what I was was gonna say based just on the regular it is a good spice i liked it um you spice rat uh i wouldn't go full rat well i'm just like

a spice mouse yeah that's a good that's a good start like i haven't like i'm a rodent for sure but i'm not riddled with disease yet yeah i'm working my way up there I'm gonna root around the sword your tail's gonna get longer and like more scaly I'm gonna grow I'm gonna do a rare transformation from mouse to a rat I'm gonna combine with a bunch of other rats I'm gonna be a rat king but I'm gonna be the main rat in that nest and then people are gonna go

that thing likes spicy food um so I like the spice it had a good breading a good like it was a good crisp and it wasn't it wasn't that soft because i did eat you know i ate all of them they were all pretty crispy but to reinforce what you're saying the regular nuggets were pretty fucking terrible regular nuggets were pretty fucking terrible i i dude i mean they were they were bad like the the the meat like flavor was the same but without the spice it lost all personality and the breading actually i think made it crunchier they were way softer without the bread gross so i think i think

you probably got a little spot of like regular nug was that chewy part. They were all chewy. I only ate like three. And then I said, I don't want this fucking trash. I'm going to give it to my girlfriend's kids and they can eat them. And they did. Is this different than your ex-girlfriend's kids? No, this is a different person.

Okay, gotcha. um so the honestly having the regular nugget only propelled my uh perception of the spicy nugget right it makes them look better it made it i liked it i ate it and i went this is pretty good and then i had the regular one ate like three or four had a regular one and went this is horrible then i went back to the spicy nugget and i was like oh this is even better i'm gonna get a third girlfriend imagine if you had it with sauce yeah yeah the and so you could totally eat them without sauce they were good a little dry but i had a cup of water i was it made me thirsty um definitely recommend chewing you cannot in any way eat the regular nuggets without sauce i wouldn't recommend them anyway but without sauce it was it was a horrible experience

and i didn't like it and what do you think of the spicy ones i did like them what i was doing there it took me too long to find it i was gonna say that eating the regular nugget i sustained pain and suffering vomiting nightmares emotional distress but it was just such a long fact sheet i couldn't find it and it just became awkward silence and you just kept you kept pressing me you kept you were like a prosecutor and i started sweating on the stand sweating like a spice rat sorry make sure you relax and fart a whole bunch after this podcast yeah no i'm building up again i just started you started watching me get bigger i'm gonna give the i'm gonna give the very uh just normal spicy nuggets an 82. Wow. They were good.

They were, I liked them. I don't like Burger King, and I thought I'd eat these. It's hard to fuck something like this up. I had the recommendation. I'm not saying go to Burger King, but if you're there, I'd get them. They're a dollar. It's a dollar, yeah. You get eight of them for a dollar, dude.

And if you have one of those golden crown cards or whatever or it's like jay leno's in the store like flag them down get them for free flag them down if you see jay leno let him know you want the spicy nuggets yeah and ask for a free car he'll probably give you one too the average score here 76 so they're good they're they're pretty average it's good i think the biggest thing about them is that they were a dollar i feel like if we were eating anything else from burger king this would be one of our lowest scored episodes but yeah they got lucky you got lucky this time burger i was ready to cleave i was gonna chop heads and the spicy nuggets saved them the the regular nuggets they sacrificed themselves for the greater good of the score. Yep.

This is the cheapest restaurant we've ever eaten at, right? So I got to roll. That's the review. And to roll into the syrup sides. Yes. I got a eight-piece spicy nugget, eight-piece regular nugget. And I got the, I don't even know what the fuck it's called. I got the Hershey's like pie. It's a Hershey's chocolate pie. Oh, I didn't even know they had that.'s called I got the Hershey's like pie Hershey's chocolate pie oh I didn't even know they had that

yeah it popped when I saw it and that was more expensive I think it was like $4.15 was the two nuggies and the pie holy shit because I think my water was free how was the was it like a cream pie I'll tell you how it was i don't know i haven't

eaten it yet oh i ran home and i put it in the refrigerator i'm gonna get it now you can see the audience can't but there's a picture at face jam pod yep what i do like is clearly no human being touched it because it's not like they made the pie or anything it came in a little pie shaped cardboard container and you had to rip not one, but both sides of the box. Whoa. All, all,

you know, official mail style. And yeah, it's like a tax return or something. Oh, how weird. There it is. Who grown?

Did Nick grown? Oh, he's amazed. Good. He's got a new word good Michael good to answer your question it's creamy

as shit that looks like it was just plucked from the Hershey pie tree I mean that's just how it comes off the branch right in that box and everything nature works in mysterious ways big old bite he's learning I heard a wow too In that box and everything. Yep, yep. Nature works in mysterious ways. Big old bite.

He's learning. I heard a wow, too. Did somebody give him, like, my first word books? Got him some hooked on phonics. While I eat this, what did you get, Jordan? I got the four-piece mozzarella sticks. So a similarly colored and textured thing to the spicy nuggets. Sure.

I'm going to take a bite. I got it with some Marnar. Oh, you got a little Marnar there. All right. What a goddamn mess. That looks, Michael, that looks like a messy pie. It's all over your face. I cream pied.

The mozzarella sticks look exactly like the chicken fries that they sell there. Yeah, remember those commercial? Yeah, that's exactly. Oh, God, no. Oh, no. What about the mozzarella sticks? Nick, what are you looking at? Michael.

Michael. I find myself. Okay, cool. I got a good picture. Now you gotta sign an NDA too! Oh, if we use that, now everyone will know why I'm the emperor. Oh, that's true.

Well, we have to work with our Face Jam social team to figure out if it's something we want to post or not. We'll pass it down. Okay. So the mozzarella sticks, a little cold after sitting here for a little bit. Yeah, mine is too. I did have one. I didn't have one before.

Strangely, it tastes the same. So it really doesn't make a difference. These things are really shitty. Yeah. And they taste like not real cheese. And they don't even... You got that rubber cheese? You get mozzarella so you can bite it and then get the string as you pull it away.

Yeah. Not even. Not a hint of string. Not a string to be found. Not a string nor cheese. 45. Wow. 45.

It's fair. Well, I could barely finish mine. I got it down. If you want some extra, I think there's some lying around you can get. No, it's gone, Jordan. It's all gone. So this thing was 90. You look like you've been eating chalky milk.

I've been slurping chalky milk right from the brown cow's tit. That's how they make chalky milk. This thing is 95% cream. Let me tell you. I can tell. The pie crust is so thin. It's like I'm eating a cloud. So, I mean, it was pretty good.

The flavor was there. It was a good chocolate and cream flavor, but it barely was a pie. It was a centimeter of crust and a mountain of cream. But the flavor is pretty good. I'm going to give it 65. I feel like I'm going to go into shock I feel like I'm gonna go into shock soon.

I'm gonna go into diabetic shock. I wasn't a diabetic, but I am now. Ooh, are you streaming on Twitch? No, I'm Twitching. Twitching on stream? I'm Twitching. I'm doing it all, baby. I tried to get the jalapeno mozzarella, like whatever, jalapeno cheddar balls or whatever the fuck they're called.

What are they called? I don't know. I think that's what they're called. Let's see. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. I could be, you could be tricking me again. I don't know.

I'm susceptible, apparently. They are called the jalapeno cheddar bites. I tried to order them and then the guy at burger king even though it's on their menu and it's one of their featured items he's like no those are discontinued oh it says right here they're on the menu i see them right here yep we don't have it all right do you think he was hoarding them do you think you just yeah yeah i honestly yeah why do you think they were discontinued do you think maybe something was wrong with them you think they were discontinued? Do you think maybe something was wrong with them?

Do you think they were like used condoms in them or something? Well, no, because that got served. So I don't think that's the issue. Oh, that's right. Yeah. They actually, yeah. That would be something they would want to. Let's do it again.

Hey, got their name in the papers. Yeah. And then they put their own name in the papers that one time. No. They sure did. That was great advertising from McDonald's. Let's come together. No.

What? That's like the headline is McDonald's shuts down clingy Burger King. No means no. Move on. McDonald's catfishes Burger King. Okay, hey, real quick. You want to send us a snack for Snack Attack, which hopefully we're going to be doing again soon.

You can send the face jam courtesy of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. Don't feel like you have to send anything. I mean, we are in weird in-between times. And we do have some snacks, so it's fine. And we'll keep doing Serpcides. We're also Serp-in-cidin'. Yep. Serpcides.

Serps up. Little merch update. Listen to Face Jam shirts are available now, so you can go buy them at store.roosterteeth.com. Get them in black and white. Yep. There's also the 100% Eat shirts coming back soon. I don't have a date on those yet,

but hopefully we'll get those very shortly. And then as of this recording, the 100% eat hat that we are all wearing, but you can't see, uh, will be, it's, it'll be on sale by the time this episode comes out, as long as it doesn't sell out. So I hope there's no way it'll not be sold out. I'm just going to say that right now. I hope that you can get your little mitts on it. I hope you got it already.

Cause this comes out on a Tuesday, the hat will have come out on the previous Thursday. The previous Thursday. That's right. I mean, what are you nuts? No, no. There's no way. Once we got 10,000 hats.

I mean, I'm buying like half of them right off the bat. Just in case. Just in case. Got to make sure. Got to ensure it's a sellout. You can upcharge. Smart. Yeah.

Well, Roots Your Teeth is going to call me and be like, come get the hat and then send a bartender over. Also, to you. Is that it? I say that the 100% Eat Hat and PopSocket, they'll have both gone on sale by the time this

comes out. If you want to follow for more updates on merch and things that are coming out and the goings on of the show and everything, follow at FaceJamPod on Twitter. You can also listen to the podcast like you have been for this entire time, but at FaceJamPod on Twitter. And one more note, if you don't have hate in your heart like Eric, you could also get the 100% Eat Pride shirt that he didn't mention.

Is it still on sale? Yeah. Oh. Why do you hate Pride? I thought it wasn't on sale still i thought you were an ally was it on sale for like a day no no it is still on sale i thought it was uh i thought it was a limited run thing portion of this goes to charity you should totally buy yeah which it is which charity it should be on there uh 100 eat it will uh a portion of the proceeds go to out youth an organization that supports lgbtqia plus in central austin so go pick up the 100 eat pride shirt it's and that's

print order yeah so you can buy it it's like the 100 eat shirt but full of pride yes it's instead of an orange shirt with white writing it's black shirt with rainbow but it's great disclosure if you wear it on the green screen there'll be no green yeah the green goes away just goes away you should know that it's might become the emperor's chair depending on your background there you have it we got a giggler over here all right make sure you rate and subscribe tell a friend about the show where we eat the food and then rate the food after that pie i feel like i'm full rat oh you're a little pirate i grew up from a mouse to a rat i grew up

hey you started as a baby mouse and you grow into a rat what's the next step like chinchilla yeah i'm i'm just i'm looking at these mice and I'm going, grow up. Yeah. Fucking eat the pie and grow up, mice. Dude, you're not going to believe what I grow up into next. Oh, no. The only way to find out is to keep listening to Face Jam. It's all over your hand.

What's all over my hand? Okay, goodbye. You guys are children. You guys are just children.