100% Eat - BUT WHAT IS TRIPLED? %% Taco Bell Triple Double Crunchwrap & Zab's Nacho Fries
Episode Date: April 28, 2026Our Heroes decide that today is a good day and return to Taco Bell to check out their new Triple Double crunchwrap. None of us are crunchwrap guys but maybe whatever they tripled makes it good and we'...ll definitely all understand what is tripled. Zab also gets with Buldak to take over the world? We get a little in the weeds in this episode. OUR ANNIVERSARY is May 11 and we'll celebrate with a FULL WEEK of exclusive videos on Patreon. Prepare for guests, promises fulfilled, and being trapped in a car with Sauce Monkey. New beanie, new magnet, & NEW SHIRT this FRIDAY! https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Ready, here we go!
I was actually talking about Miss Frissel.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Nice, nice.
Oh, you're frizzled.
Welcome to 100% eat.
The show we're driving fast ford front of what you need it.
You probably do, and that's not all you need.
Hop on the magic school bus.
I'm your host, Michael Jones, a long time.
I co-host, Jordan Spears.
It's rare that.
It's rare that Nick throws a wrench in the things in a way that I don't know how to
proceed. What do you mean?
It's happened a couple times today.
I know him.
I know.
I was like, wait, wait.
You know what?
Wait, I know about the guy game stuff.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Like, we're like normal.
It's not basic.
Just like normal questions.
Like it's regular.
Uh-huh.
You have five bucks?
Aw.
It was just like that.
Really?
It was really.
He was really beating around the place.
Yeah, he was.
And like, and straight in.
I felt like I was the guy that he was talking to
because it's like if that guy wasn't there, he would have been talking to me.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was absolutely every hallmark of like, what does this guy want?
But like, you're going to ask for my, like, borrow my phone or you're out of gas.
It's like random person in, out in real world.
Outside of talk about.
And they're talking to me.
Yeah.
Fuck.
And then for him to go, got five bucks?
I was like, whoa.
That has never heard that before.
That was crazy.
It's a great tactic.
You really like.
It caught me off.
You're softening up.
It's a great tactic to reel them in.
It changes nothing.
You're not at all more likely.
You're just going, whoa.
I did not expect you're going to ask for my bucks after all that.
That is crazy.
I did not see that coming.
Absolutely no.
Yeah, no.
We were going to talk about forever.
I'm impressed.
I went outside because I was getting,
I was hungry and thirsty and I was so thirsty.
And I went, I guess I would drink my vape.
I walked outside.
And I heard that interaction.
And you were trying to drink and then it just turned into smoke.
Yeah.
It's gone.
It's gone.
happened. It was back to back
because right before that,
we were in Taco Bell waiting. We went to talk about, by the way,
too. Let's see what
was it on here. The Taco Bell triple double
cruncher up and Zab's Dachau Fries.
Who is Zab? I guess we'll figure that out.
There's a guy in the bottle. I thought it was another
alien. Boy.
What was it, Bulldog or something?
We were
Bullock and Zab.
You guys just get to be a
Moldo. Mimby.
Morg and Mindee.
Mindis.
It's good.
I like him.
All right, coming soon to adult swim.
We were trapped inside of a talk about.
Yeah, oh, finally.
We're taking over smiling friends, but they're not doing it.
It gave me that hard.
We were inside that taco ball for a long time.
Yeah, and so right before I went outside, we were standing around.
I saw a lady come in and it was just like, it all happened,
but then I saw where she went, so I put it all together in my head where she was coming in,
she opened the door, but then like tried to like walk through the door faster than it was
open. I'm assuming it just had a little more
push than she was expecting. Right. You just
kind of like, yeah, it was like,
but but like, then just kind of slid through the amount that was
open and right down the hallway to the bathroom. So I was like,
this lady had to go. Yeah. She didn't have time
for the door to not be cooperative. That just happened. I went, that's crazy. I'm going
outside. Yeah. And then I walked outside. I was like, I got to go back
inside. I got a real basic question. Michael
walked outside and came back inside
so fast. It was so, I just went, that certainly that's not enough time
to vape. Yeah. I was just like, he's just gonna walk over
to me and I'm gonna say no, but like
right, you were just like, I'm gonna.
I was like, and then he walked in and he went to the bathroom.
Yeah, he did. Yeah, and Michael just, you know,
that's him, that's him, that's the guy, that's the guy, that's him, that's
$5. I was gonna ask him a complicated question.
You got $10.
I wonder if it becomes a more complicated question.
I have like an equation I need you.
Oh shit. I have $50.
Solve this first. If you do, we'll go to the next phase.
We'll go to the next phase. You've made
it to the next round. Can I have $10?
Congratulations.
He's like clapping.
That was weird.
And then Taco Bell
ordered the food.
Ordered the food. Orrida.
Our trusty iPad.
Yep. I don't mind ordering a Taco Bell from the iPad
because it's the customization, everything's there.
It's so much better.
It is.
Especially talking to people who work at Taco Bell.
Just make the food that we don't have to do this thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Ordered the drinks.
They gave us the food after waiting for 25 minutes.
They gave us the food, and I went to hand the bags to Nick so I could go back and go,
hey, we're, we also have like these drinks coming.
Don't worry, Nick's on it.
And Nick, like, under his breath, is like, where's the drinks?
Where's the rest of it?
Where's the rest of it?
He was like so upset.
And then, and then Michael was like, yeah, where are those drinks?
The in the bag?
Yeah, they're in the bag right there?
And I went, no, I'm going to ask right now.
It's fine.
And then the guy said, I'll handle it.
Yeah.
So I asked the guy.
I'm like, hey, we actually have drinks coming.
Four drinks.
He's like, oh, what size?
I'm like, no, no, they were like the dirty sodas.
And he went, oh, we just ran out of that stuff, like out of like the cream.
Bad luck.
Yeah, I can't believe, I can't believe it just happened.
Wow, how crazy.
Did you see all the people ahead of us who got it?
Wow, that's wow.
Whoa, man, so lucky.
I know, right?
Weird.
We went, that wasn't what we were reviewing today, but I went, hey, they have like these dirty sodas.
Let's try it.
It was a fun little, oh, look at this.
Yeah.
Wait 25 minutes.
Not for you.
So me and Nick.
got Baja Blasts.
Yeah.
Jordan, did you get a Baja blast?
I got midnight and I guess regularly.
Yeah, and so we're ordering like the dirties or whatever
and then Mountain Dew not on the list for dirty sodas.
And so Michael's just like, what the fuck?
What the fuck? What the fuck?
It's going into the Routen Dew Arasure.
And I talk about it in the Ritalin.
Where it's just like you, it feels like you'd go out of your way to not include it.
It's like Baja Blast, dirty soda.
Right there's just, you could just click it.
It's one of the selections.
Other one, the, what was it just called?
Midnight? Midnight blast.
Dirty soda.
Mountain Dew.
What?
It's like, it's just like, it seems stupid just not to list it.
But then you go into it.
You click on it and it's like, this is regular, a little pop-up.
This is regular Mountain Dew.
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Continue?
So, when to right-hurt back now, you could click like make it dirty.
Right.
Michael's like, oh, make it dirty.
And then we ordered during like their happy hour or whatever.
So it was a dollar and he's like, well, it's stupid not to get the dollar one when they're
The other one's like three bucks or whatever.
So it clicked on the dollar,
but then it made it like double dirty.
Going from the large, right?
Because it's like $2.89.
I love that large is the default too.
Yes, of course.
I mean, it's Taco Bell.
And here's the thing.
If it wasn't for the dollar thing,
it would be like 20 cents more than the medium,
which is like, I don't fuck it.
You know, whatever.
Like, you're paying for soda, right?
It's like, it's like you might as well get the big one
because it's crazy.
It's just to get a smaller size,
but like the price doesn't change at all.
But it was a dollar and I was like,
okay, hang on now.
Now this seems like a waste of money.
A dollar $89 cheaper for a soda I'm not really going to drink.
Right.
I'll take the medium.
And then it doubled the cream.
It was like, wait, what?
It was, we were just looking at going, hey, that's probably why I got used all up.
That's what happened.
So we just got handed like soda cups or whatever and then Nick finally tried Baja Blast with actual syrup instead of like.
First time.
Yeah.
What did you think?
Yeah.
Mountain Dew's better.
Baja blast has that little like, I can only describe it as like a twing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It tastes like going to the beach.
It has like this.
like tropical thing to it.
That's the thing of like Mountain Dew Baja Blast
isn't like a Mountain Dew with a twist.
No.
It's just completely different.
It's a totally different thing.
It's like vanilla coke.
Like that and that's why I'm like I don't dislike it
but I'm like it's nothing like Mountain Dew.
If it was like Mountain Dew with a little thing on it
I would probably get a lot more.
But I just like if you don't call them both Mountain Dew
they're two completely different sodas.
That's interesting.
And I like the first soda much better than the second one.
They should just call Baja Blah Blah.
Separated.
It's very different.
Mountain Dew doesn't really do what like Pepsi and Coke and everyone does wear.
They do the do.
They do the do.
That's all they do.
Simply put, they do the do.
Don't get that twisted.
Taco Bell don't do it with the cream.
Scooby-Doo can do too.
And what?
They fuck you.
Don't forget Scrappy Doo.
Scrappy Mountain Dew.
If Scooby said fuck you.
Imagine what he said.
He's in the Manosphere.
Scrabby do.
I never thought about how Mountain Dew doesn't like do stuff with its original flavor.
It just goes, here are other things.
Oh, us here at Mountain Dew also made this thing.
Yes.
And it has nothing to do with that.
Code Red.
I love Code Red.
I love Code Red.
It's not really Mountain Dew.
It's not Mountain Dew with like.
Bahablas is totally different.
No, it's it.
They're totally different sodas.
Huh.
It's like the only one that does that.
I'm like a dying breed.
Like my kids, if we go, the same thing.
It's like they're, we bomb Blah Blast.
I'm like, try the regular though.
Try it.
Yeah.
It's, you might like it.
My wife loves regular Mountain Dew.
She doesn't want you.
any, my wife doesn't want any soda that isn't just,
she will buy mini cans of regular Mountain Dew.
Those many cans are quite nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, which is perfect for her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's like,
she goes, yes,
it's perfect.
It's,
it's like Gremlin style.
It's like Gremlin style.
It is.
Yeah.
So she,
uh,
gray.
I got to come in.
All right.
Yeah.
Uh,
yeah.
That's right.
Uh, that's right.
Uh,
but Taco Bell,
we were saying on the way,
like,
someone's going to leave a comment.
Like,
whoa, Michael is gray here.
100% there.
I think we might even know who's gonna leave it.
I'm gonna leave three or four paragraphs
about some real crazy stuff.
I hadn't had Taco Bell, I think,
since like the last Taco Bell episode.
And it's just been a while.
And I was like a little.
Just don't say anything. Wow.
Just don't.
No, I'm judging you.
I like that's, Nick's just me like,
damn, what a school.
So what was, that was looking ahead here.
That was back in.
November. Dude, that's like, it's like six
months. You could have been. It's a while and I was
enjoying. I was a little down
on it and then we went to Taco Bell today. Like you were down on it
because you haven't eaten it. Yeah. Yeah. And then
I just went like maybe, maybe I don't know,
I don't know. And then I ate it today and went,
I can eat this tomorrow. Like so
fucking, so fucking easy. Could you have your wife
go there tonight to get it for you?
I probably, if I told her let's
go get Taco Bell tonight, she would probably for Taco Bell.
Yeah. And she would go, yes, I want a large
mountain do. Oh, yeah. So she would go for the soda. Yeah, yeah. But you
Oh, me to go pick it up?
Yeah, yeah, she's not gonna go across down for that.
She's gonna go, I have Mountain Dew at home.
Taco Bell, you mean the Mountain Dew store?
Which is the same as, yeah.
Usually doesn't work out that way.
My Mountain Dew at home is the same as the Mountain Dew.
Yeah, she just loves Mountain Dew.
I don't know.
It's good, I like it too.
Yeah.
But Taco Bell, they had their big, like,
here's everything that we have coming out for like the year or whatever.
And I don't think it made the splash that it did like the year before
or really like the year previous.
We didn't watch it or talking about it.
Beyond that, I haven't seen stuff online
because I have to be stupid plugged into all this bullshit.
I haven't seen the amount of it online
that I saw like last year or the year before
where people are like, whoa, check this out.
The only thing is like, here's Baja Blast pie.
That was like the thing they did one time.
Yeah, the one that tastes like antifreeze.
That was the ice cream.
Yeah, anti-freeze ice cream.
You feed it to your cat in the driveway.
It's ice cream.
It's ice cream.
You're saying good?
Annie freezes, I mean, no one would be pretty sweet.
Yeah, yeah.
Delicious for neighborhood cats and raccoons.
So just lick up.
Yeah, they love it.
But Taco Bell, you guys go a bunch of this still or no?
Like, is Taco Bell a place that, like, you're frequenting?
I don't go through any of these fast food restaurants.
Yeah, yeah.
And not even.
Why are you?
Not anymore.
Ask.
What's changed?
A little bit more geared towards Michael.
I understand this.
You said you guys.
I know.
I have to cast the wide net because you didn't have to.
Because in the off chance that you go, yes.
I actually went there a bunch of times.
That would be shocking.
But it also would be weird if you were talking to me and Jordan.
You and I had said like, Michael, hey, Jordan, you guys go to like race shows still?
You go watch cars go room?
You still doing that all the time?
Race show.
Yeah, you go room room.
You know, you see the Formula One?
You see the Formula One thing?
Oh, yeah.
I feel like you said this thing about cars.
He said the thing about cars.
He didn't know what you were talking about until you said Formula One.
And then he went, oh, I got it.
No, no, no, no.
I got it, I got it.
I was more worried about the other, yeah, yeah.
What did you think a race show was?
I got it.
I know what you were talking about.
A bunch of white people.
Yeah, I was, I was just like, he was like, I don't know if I like that name.
Well, it's the reason that we have to stop making our podcast race wars that's about NASCAR.
We're always so close to starting it, and then something else happens.
It really, it really, like, poisons the algorithm.
Um. Your kid's all about Taco Bell or is it like even a thing that?
Yeah, Iris loves the, uh, cheese, you go to eat crunch.
Oh, really?
Thing.
Good.
Raising her right.
Yep.
Yeah.
She's got a lot.
It's one of the few things Michael and I are aligned on.
Right.
I know.
And that's why I was like, okay, good.
It's like, I can bring you around Jordan.
Yeah.
Um, what about crunch wraps?
No.
Because we all talked about how we're not really crunch rap.
It's kind of the same thing, but it's the same thing.
It's the same thing.
But like kids, kids, that's,
way too complicated for them.
They just mostly care about flavor, right?
Taste profile. So that's why even like,
Iris, I was kind of like, oh shit, like the first time she ever had it
because it's like, it's not simple, you know?
It's like a taco wrapped in a thing and it's crunchy or whatever.
And she was like, I want that every time.
Like, anytime I go, just get her that.
Wow.
Luna's way more of kid of like cheese, meat.
Like, maybe she'll eat a taco. Maybe she won't.
She will not eat a crunch wrap and be like, what the fuck is this?
Like, if I show you how she eats a sandwich, yeah.
Right.
Like, no fucking way.
So cut up the middle.
Yeah, 100%.
I'm just like, I would never, ever give that to them.
Know that game.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Jordan had to fold his in half today.
It was fucked up.
Yeah, the structural integrity leaves a lot to be desired of this one.
And it's because it's a triple double.
It's fucking huge.
It's thick.
I think they won't one layer too high.
Yeah, I don't think it's maybe a necessity.
They're flying too close to the sun.
Maybe just a double.
Yeah.
You think that it should just be a double?
as opposed to a triple double
What's the triple in it?
The triple is you got...
He wants to make sure that there's more
You got double...
I agree with him.
You got double...
I'll be honest with you to know.
I agree with Nick's logic.
He doesn't need to know
what the fuck the triple double is.
But he would still like a double
because it is more...
Double meat.
I'm on his side.
He doesn't need to know what the fuck that means.
The crunch rap...
But he wants less?
Still more, but less.
I understand it perfectly.
The crunch rap hit double digits
in points.
Uh-huh.
It's a...
rebounds.
Yeah, yeah.
It was a machine.
It's made for Wenam.
Yeah, it was the concussed superstar, Victor Wenamma.
He's going to be extra hungry.
Imagine if his jaw had landed right on a triple double crunch wrap instead.
It would have been,
takes a bite gong.
It would have been so pillowy soft.
Yeah,
because there's no crunch on these.
That'll be the first time in his life that he's ever eating Taco well
because they just like, they don't allow that at like the monastery that he trains at or
whatever.
Was it like Janus or something?
Like the first thing he had in America was like Oreos or something?
Oh, was it or?
was like some sort of like junk food.
And he was like, I just had Oreos.
America rules.
Yeah, he has a good cookie.
Yeah, he had Oreos and someone's like, oh, you're like, oh,
it was like him talking about like dunking him in milk or whatever.
And he was just like, I couldn't believe it.
And it's like, really?
He's like, it's incredible.
It's like, it made it so much better.
Yeah, I mean, I can believe that with an Oreo specifically.
When you eat Oreos, you never fail.
No.
Because if imagine he did that with like Hershey's chocolate, you'd fucking.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He would be like, he would turn around.
I'm leaving.
On the plane.
Just go back to Greece.
I'm going back home.
I ain't doing this shit.
It's fucked up.
Damn.
Okay, flights on air Canada.
Where'd you want to go?
The Azores?
For its hot springs and volcanoes?
Hmm, speaking of volcanoes, what about Japan?
Mmm, you know I love sushi.
Not as much as I love tapas.
Maybe, Majorca.
We could hit the beach, then go hiking.
Hiking?
Or how about a seaside stroll in Sicily?
Ooh, I do love canolies.
Wait, what do you think of...
With a world of destinations to choose from.
Good luck picking just one.
Air Canada. Nice travels.
Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice.
I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community.
Ooh. Then it's the vacation of a lifetime.
I wonder if my out of office has a forever setting.
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But hey, you guys want to learn about it?
I want to cut you.
No.
You guys want to learn about Taco Bell?
Sure.
Yeah, I want to learn about McDonald's.
I want to learn about the last McDonald's episode.
The last time me and Eric both had Taco Bell.
Or McDonald's.
Who knows?
Who the fuck knows?
Our last McDonald's episode was on November 4th, 20205 where we ate Taco Bell flamen hot.
She grilled cheese burrito with Gracie.
She's like part of the food.
Yeah.
It received an average rating of 74.
Gracie was there eating with us.
Because it was a Gracie episode and he said, where do you want to go?
And she said Taco Bell.
And then I went, okay, we did it like, we did it like three or four weeks before that.
But it's where she wanted to go.
So we took her there.
We do go to Taco Bell a lot.
But they were making a lot.
On that infographic that Madison made for our first 100 episodes, which was really cool.
Taco Bell was our most visited restaurant.
Yeah, I mean, they have the most limited time.
It's true.
It's true.
Yeah.
And not like even.
I don't remember this Flamen and Haunt thing, but you know what?
I don't remember it.
Not because, like, some places there's like,
I don't remember that shit.
I don't remember it because it's like,
there's so much.
Yeah.
Another Taco Bell thing.
And most of them,
for a place we do go to a lot,
isn't like,
and it's just a sauce.
Yes.
They just keep making different weird shit.
Oh, fuck, man,
we had those nuggets.
Yeah.
Dude, those were crazy.
Yeah.
Not even part of this.
I'm fucking glad we got them.
Me too.
It's kind of a saving grace.
We're talking about Taco Bell.
We again,
we went to the one thing,
or the two things that were on here,
opened it up.
It's like, whoa,
What are these nuggets?
What are these nuggets?
What are they have dirty sodas?
It was just like, oh yeah, yeah.
They just, oh, they just missed them.
Oh, you just missed them.
We just ran out three hours ago.
I didn't hear the guy tell him that, but I knew that's what happened.
When we were getting our drinks then.
He just kept going, guys, well, we just missed it.
We just, it was like, oh, just, oh, we just went that way.
The guy asked me for five bucks and then we ran out.
Oh, no.
He walked into the drive-thru.
No.
That's a real basic question.
That's what the guy walked out with.
the box with it was all their milk.
There's a box of milk.
Nicklin, we got milk back in the house.
He was like trying to salvage it.
It was like, how can we make this at home?
Milk?
You guys, you're only 2% I can throw in my Baja blast?
Heavy cream for me?
Now we should get, what do you need to make that?
It's like a little stir.
How do you turn milk into cream?
Right, yeah.
Well, it's a different fat percent.
So it's just, it's a different type of milk.
Yeah. Right, but I'm saying you can make it what you need to add to make it. Like how you like cooking? You add other ingredients to make one thing like to another thing. Right. So if you start with a heavy cream like a sweet cream and then you mix probably a vanilla syrup with it and then stir it. I think that's what it is. I don't think he's going. Sounds like things we have here. I don't know. I don't think we can make two percent into it. I don't know that we can or cannot. That's why I'm asking. Yeah. We have cream at home. Maybe when we have dirty soda soda. Start with milk. Ice cream. Where does that go? That would get that. How much closer is that?
Honestly, if you put vanilla ice cream in a Baja blast, that might do it.
Well, that makes it a flow.
Do you have vanilla ice cream?
We'd have to melt the vanilla ice cream first.
Probably.
We have no more Baja blast.
Do we have a little bit?
Do we have regular Mountain Dew?
I think so.
Maybe the Michael Jordan,
maybe the Michael Jordan podcast is going to be very interesting.
Oh, root around.
Yep.
All right.
Pig style.
Just looking at it.
I knew he's going to eat.
Now I'm just looking at the monkey.
Just confirmed.
I'll kill you.
The eyes are crazy.
Yeah, the four eyes?
Yeah.
Not the way you've ever been
called four eyes before.
No, no, no.
Hey, four eyes.
It's all right, four eyes.
Let's get out of here.
Just confirmed by the company,
Taco Bell will be opening their first location
in Apple Green close to Lisbonne
in Northern Ireland.
Oh.
Prepare for the new troubles
where the only bombs dropped
are in public toilets at the train station
during rush hour.
In your head?
Out your ass.
Eric.
Eric wrote that.
Yeah, that was good.
You like that one.
We love a crime.
I was very happy.
I was writing it.
That was the first one.
And I went, Northern Ireland, no way.
Eric.
I was, like, all the jokes were coming out at the same time.
And I'm like, how much like a.
Badd.
Badd-B-A-D-O-V-E-R.
Yeah, the Northern Ireland's first Taco Bell ever.
Apple Green.
Yeah.
It's just, it's at like a.
a train station and I just can't imagine.
Nothing like, you know, eating some Taco Bell and then getting inside a closed space.
But also eating some Taco Bell for the, maybe the first time ever in your life.
The Irish stomach, I don't know, is like ready for what's about to happen with like fire.
You gotta start somewhere.
You gotta start somewhere.
They're not gonna start with mild.
Have you seen the Irish?
It's gonna start with mild.
They'll get sunburned just looking at it.
They're gonna start with fire because we dare them.
We're like, you guys, guys.
you can't handle this.
I like the new troubles.
I would have called it Troubles too.
Oh, nice.
Nice, nice, nice.
I wasn't sure.
I felt like new troubles was good.
Dropping bombs was definitely like,
how do I get this into something?
You don't have to try very hard.
No.
Going into the toilet car is a whole different type of car bomb.
Does that go?
Was that funny?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're doing it.
I used to order those all time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's like, that's what we call it.
Yeah.
And then it was like, time went by and it was just like, don't say that.
And I missed that in between time where I went, but that's what I ordered.
But right, but that's the thing.
You were ordering it and drinking it all the time.
And then when you stopped, it all changed.
And then you went back and they went, that's not what it's called anymore.
It was someone going, it's called this instead.
I'm going, no, it isn't.
It's called this.
And then you hopped up on the bar.
You said, it's called this.
Give me the goddamn thing.
And then I waved a flag and I said, I don't want a moka.
a frapp of free kachino
and everyone clapped.
And that guy,
that man's name,
Albert Einstein.
That's right.
Now,
I have a show on FX.
I have a Netflix special
and that's my only joke.
It's great.
Good for you, dude.
A Tomoduchi Life player
has gone viral after recreating
a full taco bowl cheesy
gourdita crunch meal inside the game
building it pixel by pixel
using a custom image tool.
People should recreate this for 100%
eat and give the sauce monkey
a big foot to suck on
then they should post it on Discord
then we can print it out and frame it
suck on that
so let me tell you
Iris has been playing the shit out of it.
Oh really? Cool. Yeah. It is like
it's crazy. So you can
really get so customizable
real talking
like from AI. Yeah what's up with that?
She'll just be like check this out and shows
and I was like too this is weird. Yeah. I'm
sauce monkey. I'll kill you.
My name's Iris. I'm the Sigma. I'm Sigma.
I'm Sigma 6-7-67. And I was like
that's, I mean my
When I was getting best case scenario, it would be like, Michael.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, that game's talking to me.
You can do, you can like make anything, write anything.
She like cursing, whatever.
She like draws all the clothes and shit.
It's like cool as shit, dude.
It's really nuts.
I saw someone make like a camp camp character with like, I was like, oh, that's cool.
It was just customized when you can make your character look like that.
They were holding like a custom like prop.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like you can straight like how they draw stuff.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
I saw one guy.
made Alan from smiling friends and they gave him
Gleb and it was like oh that's cool and they
just made like a little Gleb and like
finally my friend my friend Gleb
and he held it up and it was great
I saw one my switches in my car I'll go dig it out
maybe I'll show you my friend
my friend made one and he's just like
oh it's like me and all my friends and then the fucking devil
and his name is the fucking devil so he
he goes and introduces people goes hello I'm the
fucking devil you can make him say
yeah dude there's no online component
to it it's all like
single they don't care yeah yeah yeah
Yes.
Yes.
Truly, they don't care.
It's crazy.
They went like, yeah, do it.
Like cursing all of it.
That's what I'm saying, make a foot for the monkey to suck.
Because nothing will stop it.
Make the foot a character.
Yeah, you make, and then that's his best friend.
I'm the fucking foot.
He falls in love with them.
Friends to lovers.
All right, now you have a script to follow.
This is good.
Yep.
This is good.
He's still at the beginning of the story.
You still at the beginning.
He'll come around.
You can make the sauce.
I guarantee you can make the sauce.
in it.
I guarantee.
And I give you full permission
to put the sauce monkey in it
and he can do whatever
you want him to do
and I mean whatever.
Charges are pending
Well then why
why isn't Nick doing it?
Chargers are pending
after a fight on social media
boiled over into the Taco Bell
drive-thru
in Whiteville,
Ohio.
Saturday?
Yeah, on Saturday.
I just read it on Saturday.
That's where our racing podcast
Racehorse.
Right, Whiteville, Ohio Saturday.
Michael Eugene Lennon 30 was working at the drive-thru
when the suspect went to the restaurant,
stopped his vehicle, and backed up when he realized Lennon was working.
The suspect then went to the window
and allegedly began assaulting Lennon through the window.
The fight was the result of an ongoing squabble on social media
and after the assault, the suspect fled the scene.
If you have any information about the suspect,
keep it your fucking self.
We don't rep no snitches round here, homie.
Snitches get stitches,
and the sauce monkey ready to cut you up,
put you back together all wrong.
There was also no information in that.
I kept reading and reading and reading and reading.
And it's like, yeah.
What was the fight about or for?
No idea.
I'm condensing the whole article and they had no more information.
There's just nothing.
How did it start on social media?
But there was nothing.
No idea.
I thought this was great because it was an article at the news
about a guy getting his fucking ass kicked
who worked at the Taco Bell.
So much that the guy that kicked his ass
drove by saw him
stopped, backed up
and then beat the shit out of him.
They said that
they said the laceration on this guy's head
was so big it's going to leave a permanent scar.
Oh shit!
He got fucking wrecked
at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru Window.
Why?
Social media!
I need to know, exactly.
They probably had differing views
on the latest season of whatever show.
Yeah, it was the late night walk-up window.
It was, it was, the late-night walk-up window.
The late night walk-up window
and you're beating the shit out of them.
That's the fucking weirdest thing.
The late-night walk-up window is so bizarre.
It was also like when the restaurant's closed,
that window,
thinking about like where it was like the restaurant,
was it just by the bathrooms?
It wasn't that hallway,
but like it was also kind of lined up with like
how you come out from behind the counter.
So like you would come out of the kitchen,
turn left and walk straight
and probably like be pretty well lined up with the window.
Okay. Bizarred.
Still kind of weird.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got a whole drive-through over.
over there, but you're going out this way.
I guess you're right. Like maybe there's like apartments around there.
Nick was like walking up going like, I was probably for like drunk people.
And I'm like, I guess there's like a bar around here.
And he's like, yeah, and the school.
Yeah.
It's drunk kids.
Kids love drinking.
All right.
No, no, they don't.
We talked about it on the way.
No, they don't.
Did you like your first drink?
No.
I liked what it did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that.
That's why I skipped beer.
That is like, I was like, we, I was like,
See, Michael's the cautionary tale.
I'm a cautionary tale.
We're all like having a drink of something as a young kid was like, ugh.
I'm never going to drink that.
Yeah.
And then the next time I drank, I was like 21.
Right.
For me, it's not very much of a cautionary tale because like you think bad drinks or like that's the only bad thing I'm going to eat.
It's like, oh, this tastes terrible.
Well, so does half of the things I eat.
It doesn't matter.
Part of the course.
Yeah.
But when I eat Taco Bell, I feel.
I don't feel this good.
It was drinking
Southern Comfort
in high school
and being like
and we would just do shot shot shot shot shot
and then wander around drunk.
And then later met like older kids
they were like from a different school
and there was like yeah we're doing this ride
we're like we got some beers. I'm like
yo yeah that's fucking gross
dude. Where's your liquor?
Yeah we're like we got my brother
has old beers. I was like now I'm good
Yeah.
Soco was the one...
Whatever, kid.
Soco was such a starter.
Got an underage drink.
Oh, Soco was such like a starter.
I got...
I know.
It was bad on it so many times.
It's so sweet.
It's so...
Oh, there's...
What if whiskey was...
Soco lime?
Yep.
Oh, I had...
Soco, you do Southern Comfort?
See, that's a man who loves how it tastes.
No one all cuts the taste.
It's like...
It's like...
Cuts it.
It's like...
Cuts it good. Because we would do Southern Comfort,
Amoretto in one.
and put it all together.
And then that cuts that whiskey like that in your nose,
like biting feeling that Southern Comfort has.
We used Coca Cola.
There you go.
Yeah. And put it in.
Cicola.
Yeah.
Lime was crucial no matter what.
With Southern Comfort and you had to have lime.
It just tasted awe.
It like, when you said Southern Comfort,
my stomach flipped, but not like the upper part of my stomach,
like my deep bowels where it was like this is like a sickness.
Yeah, that's where it sits.
It's not where it sits.
It's not where it sits.
It's where it pools.
It's like a sewer system and it just leaks out into like the rest of your body and your poison forever.
Yeah, it does.
Imagine that doing it at the playground and then getting on the swings.
Yep.
We're drunk.
Oh, hell yeah, I'm drinking all this other comfort and I'm swinging as hard as I can.
Dude, just be able to throw it up below the way.
How far can you get it to go?
That's when you would just throw up and then go, oh, man.
I feel great.
Cool.
And then go back to drinking
and I think about that now
and I'm like,
that sounds like a punishment.
Yeah,
that's what it's like
for the people doing jackass.
The jazz movie now
or it's like you can't bounce back
like that anymore.
You throw up and you're like,
I'm out of commission.
I need 24 hours.
Take me to hospital.
Fuck.
Wow.
We get to camp a trial
and it's like,
eat this scoop slop.
And I was like,
I've been here before.
The noise was so fucked.
Oh, that was so great.
Oh, that was so great.
It was good.
And the final fact, the votes are in from Taco Bell's global taco vote launched last week.
Uh-huh.
An India's butter chicken taco will appear on the U.S. menu as a limited time offer later this year.
Who cares because the only vote that mattered was the Wendy's Bring It Back Brackett
where our heroes rallied you to vote and get the pretzel pub back.
So any day now, we assume it must be right around the corner soon, probably, right?
Yeah.
Maybe you'll be out this Friday like that one guy thought.
He's like, I'm gonna get it on.
I'm gonna get it when I'm something, something after work on Friday.
Yeah, like, oh, you're talking about.
He's just showing up with the wind he's like,
I heard the bristle pumps back.
Pretzel pumps back, right?
I saw they won the pole.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Pole?
Yeah.
What are you talking?
No way.
Anybody knows what the hell that.
I just work here.
Right.
I just work at the large, large frosty.
Four?
Four.
Ah!
That guy going to.
they get that and them not knowing what he's talking about is my nightmare of the show
and going and just going like, I don't know what that is.
It's like, oh.
I saw this,
there was nothing really enticing on this Taco Bell vote that they had.
No, no, it was a bunch of little tacos.
I mean, I think we should get it when it comes out.
I'm sure it'll be okay.
Because it out Friday.
Finally.
With the pretzel pub?
You know, big day.
We get both the same time.
Chicken pretzel taco.
I'll say.
That's, we do the.
double, not the triple.
Mentioning one more, not that much, Lola.
One too many.
It was. It's three.
It's two.
You know numbers?
Three of what?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter.
It's a basic question.
It's a multiplication number.
Three plus two equals five.
Yeah.
You have five dollars.
There's just too much.
There's not too much of a certain thing.
So I don't need to know what the thing is.
Don't talk to him like he's on your side.
It's a multiplication number is what he said.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Times two times three.
Get it.
More.
Normal, too much, less, too much more normal.
Three times one is three.
Two times one is two.
What are you getting?
What do you not?
Yeah.
All right, now that we said Eric straight.
Straight for the moon.
It's funny because that was that guy's wife.
The guy game.
Irish car bomb
A least offensive
Right, three
Oh man
Gracie just texted us something
Oh really?
Let's see
It's a picture
She said she was going to the movies
And she said a picture of Nicole Kidman
She is at AMC
She's at the AMC
Yeah, and it's her talking about
How movies are magic
That's right
I've seen that
Did you get a pretzel?
I asked, we'll see
They probably have pretzel nuggets
She's not at Alamo
She can't look at her phone.
No.
No, you can't.
You can look at your phone
at regular movie theaters too.
It's fine.
They just encourage you to Alamo.
The only place.
Yeah, Alamo is the only place
that tells you technically
tells you to do it now.
Like really, truly,
every other movie theater is like,
hey, silence your phones.
Alamo is the only movie theater
telling you, hey,
you can be on your phone a little bit
if you want.
Use your phone.
I think Cinemark you can order
to your.
Really?
Yeah, I think so.
I think for Cinemark,
what they had was
when you can order ahead of time
when you're buying the tickets
and they're gonna have it delivered to your seat
but it's not for when you get there
it's like when you're buying the movie ticket I think
okay but what if they may have changed that
but what if I want it in the middle of everything
yeah and then also I want to go on Instagram
for me let me see if I can find this real quick
I saw a great comment
for the Alamo episode
we just did uh huh
and it's like it
I was kind of wanted to maybe read this
for people who don't yeah
like I've been to
Alamo or whatever. Because granted,
I don't want people to think, on that
Alamo episode, we railed on it, like we rail on
everything. That was so, like, a hundred
percent true. And like, what we were talking about, how
like, no, no, for real, it's not just like, we popped in and it sucks.
It's like, this place was awesome.
We've gone there for, I've gone over a decade. Like, it was really
cool. And it's like, even if I can't explain
all the cool shit, it's all gone now,
and it just sucks. And like,
it's just like, it really blows. And someone
left a comment on Instagram.
He said it's from Ashen slash
someone who worked it out.
Alamo for seven years. Everything you guys are saying
in this episode is so fucking spot on.
I spent a lot of my life working there and seeing it crash
and burn like this hurts.
Yes. It truly sucks. I mean, especially
it truly sucks. Like outside the like yuck yuck
of this show like they ruined it and I'm mad.
Yeah. I'm mad that my kids will never get to go
to cool Alamo. They did it for such like
obviously cost cutting
reasons. It's like well I mean we if we
just like make everyone order on their phone
we can cut so much staff.
Yeah. Yeah. And now three people work
at the Alamo. Did you ever get
help the button.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, finally.
Crazy.
But like, did we post that picture?
Yeah, no, that's the thing is that it was,
it was a cool place to work because you got to watch a lot of movies.
Working to movie theater.
Yeah.
It was working to movie theater.
You got to watch a lot of movies, but then like the food and the running,
you talk to people and it's like, it wasn't a bad job.
Even someone who didn't work there and went there,
it very much like was a real life version of you watch like a movie or a sitcom
and it's like, oh, like, hanging out of that place.
That's what it felt like to go there.
And the food was really good.
it wouldn't be like, hey, do you want to go to the movies?
It's like, oh, we're going to Alamo.
That meant something, right?
Like, oh, we're going to Alamo.
Dude, there was one summer.
What movie do you want to see when we get to Alamo?
Yeah.
There was one summer where we were going, like,
ruined it.
Every Friday we had a group of people,
and every Friday there was a new movie coming out,
we'd see it, and then we would walk outside
and, like, Congrate, like in the corner just outside,
and we would talk about the movie.
Sometimes you'd get stopped in the lobby,
and there's like phase two as the outside.
And then it's like, some people have to go home and wrap up,
and everyone's just like, okay,
and then they stop again.
this and then like the circle reformed.
And then you're like, finally goodbye.
And then you're walking the same direction.
Yeah.
Goodbye.
Alamo was a thing when I moved here and like my parents came out and visited to like see
everything or whatever.
It was a thing.
It was a thing.
You got to see me.
I was like, we have to go to Alamo.
Like you've been to movies.
This is different in a cool way.
And my dad thought it was awesome.
He's like, I mean a cheeseburger at the movies.
And a good cheeseburger.
Like a good one.
Yep.
Not to make this last episode still.
I'm fine with it.
I just want to bring it up.
I appreciate it the comments that are like that.
People are totally understood.
I feel like people understood.
There is an alternative.
I was talking to you about this before the movie.
Yeah.
Just giving you the mandatory side of it.
Yeah, Flicks Brewinghouse.
Where like even their website kind of looks like Alamo.
Yes.
They have the same branding.
Yeah.
And like color scheme.
I have not gone.
It's like up and round rock.
It's like,
it's like,
but if it's a reliable comp,
it wasn't as good as Alamo,
but like it's probably better than Alamo now.
Like honestly,
I was there a couple times.
I would try.
Okay, let's go.
What do you want to see,
Beekeeper two?
I mean,
is that way we're seeing that.
We have to see Beekker two far from now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Exit nine.
There's,
here making the sequel.
Okay.
I have not thought about exit eight once
since we like left that movie.
I thought about it,
because I brought it up, I was hanging out with some friends,
and I said, I was telling him that we went and saw this movie.
I was like, oh, we saw X-A-8.
And they were like, we just saw that.
Really?
What?
They were the only other people that saw it?
That's so exciting.
Yeah.
What did they think about the rats?
We all, it was funny, we had the same exact opinion.
I was just like, I think they had played the game.
So, like, that's how they wanted to see it.
And they really liked the concept.
But, like, it was like, they stretched out a little too much.
Like, not enough material to make a 90-minute movie.
The only time I thought about or talking about it since was right here when Alfreder and I did a podcast.
And I told them about it.
And I was just like, it's just too long.
Yeah.
It's too long.
It's just really stretching.
It's just everything we said.
We talked about it last time, but I keep like thinking about Nick getting mad at the movie and telling the guy to turn around with his feet, Gracie style up on his seat.
Yeah, right.
He was tough.
He was tough.
Just the case.
He was simply tucked.
Look at this one mosquito bite.
What the fuck?
That is a mosquito bike.
I have like, I have like 10 of this.
That thing is huge.
I know.
It's like, it's like driving me nuts.
That's crazy.
We're camping.
Nowhere.
I'm standing outside.
Oh,
you're not supposed to do that.
First mistake.
Yeah.
Drive me nuts.
I have like,
it's like ones in the ankles,
like right in the socks.
And then it's like in the,
right in the calf.
Terrible.
I have like,
like,
it's all the moving parts.
It's in the shit out of it.
Hey, Jordan,
we can't just talk about Alma.
We got talk about Taco Bell and what we got.
If you insist.
One thing I did want to say is we mentioned Wendy's here.
They have flipped in my mind so much than starting the show.
Taco Bell was the impetus of the show.
And it was like, Taco Bell, why would you ever eat it there?
I look forward to Taco Bell.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, me too.
Now it has risen and ascended.
And Wendy's, which I used to put high on the pedestal, is now seepage in the septic tank.
Seapid in the septic tank.
That's good.
It's the Southern Compt.
It's the southern comfort of fast food.
It's not even like how did Wendy's fall?
It's just like how under the watchful eye of Yum brands did Taco Bell ascend beyond everything else?
Yeah, it's like a real like they overcame Yum brand.
I'm trying to think of a comp of like something that like overcomes Yum broke out from like an oppressive like corporate structure.
You know it's like how are they having so so much success?
It's like we're trying not to be noticed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're doing like the Alamo over there.
Yeah.
Man, fucking crazy.
But here's what we ate.
This is the triple double
two times three.
Three times one.
Two times one and two times one.
Crunch wrap.
The triple double crunch wrap is the one.
Fans never stop asking for.
Really? First introduced in 2016, the cult favorite returns
in its signature build stacked higher asterisk with seasoned beef,
warm nacho cheese sauce and crunchy to stodas shells,
then wrapped in a grilled tortilla with a cool, reduced fat, sour cream.
Lettuce and tomatoes sealed into its iconic hexagon form.
Where's the aster?
So what is triple?
Not, hold on.
Crunch wrap.
Fans.
Signature build.
That's three.
Double is two toastata shells.
So what?
They just added another layer.
Like, it's another layer.
Right.
That's the double.
So what's the triple is your question?
The one I've been asking.
and he keeps saying
it's multiplication.
He isn't,
he doesn't need to know what it is,
he wants more,
the double would be
if they put meat
on both sides
of the toastata shell.
They do not currently.
It's on one side.
Just put it on both.
Put it on both.
He wants more
and just not that much.
It's not that hard.
What are you getting?
What are you?
So it's beef
to know what the hell
the multiplication is.
I know.
He's just right.
So it's beef,
toastat a shell.
Uh-huh.
Beef,
tostata shell.
Beef?
Not in this one.
That's...
It would be...
It would be the double double.
You're describing a triple double.
That's what this is.
And that's what this is.
And that's what this is.
And that's what this is.
You wrote yourself in a corner on that one.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Somebody just face-plated right at the finish line.
Uh-oh.
Everyone's passing him.
Everyone's stepping on him.
Uh-oh.
You don't need the extra toast hot, I'm saying.
I can't help you anymore
Yeah, Nick
Nick was like Wiley Coyote
and he was holding the stick of dynamite
The problem with the crunch rap supreme
is normally they don't have enough meat
to begin with
So I'm saying you take the meat
On one side, add it to the other side
You don't need two tistadas
And then everything else is just as it is
More not this
That's that made sense
Right, but I'm not asking
I'm not asking what Nick wants out of it.
Right. That's never one time. Never once has that been my question. Yeah. I'm asking what is the triple? Right. It's the three sides. What are the three sides? On other sides of the tostata. You got one, then the middle of the two tostadas, and then the third one. But you just told me that's what it's not. And then you told me that's what it's? That's not what it would be. You're taking the ingredients and not the structure. He's describing the structure. I asked about the structure. It's beef tostata, beef toastata, beef,
beef and you said no. No, it's not that though.
Hey, if this is entertaining,
make sure you leave a comment. It's beef toastata,
beef tostata, ask for more
math talks. George, let's go down here.
So what's triple?
That is the triple.
How? How is that three layers to it?
What?
Beef toastata, beef toastata,
everything is three.
What? What?
That's three.
Beef?
Help me!
Look, beef?
Think of it this way.
I'm not helping.
I don't care about you.
You just need a,
beep, and then we'll come back to the show.
That's really help.
I just want to be clear.
Beef, take out of the Joe's title.
Think about it this way.
Beef, beef, other ingredients.
That's three.
That's the triple.
Wait.
What do you mean, wait?
What do you mean?
You don't get to say wait.
You're just as guilty as him
because you keep trying to get him
to give you an answer
that pleases you.
And it's never going to happen.
Exactly.
In fact, you should have just got with my joke answer at first.
But instead, you decided to go into it.
Yeah, about that.
I was with him on that.
That was with me.
And then we started going, no, explain exactly what you mean.
And I was like, all right, I'm out of this.
And we could have left it.
I don't care.
No, I want you to list ingredients.
You had to know.
He's not going to be able to list the ingredients.
There was not much thought put into this when we started making these jokes.
Now you're asking for substance.
There was never any substance.
There was no substance.
It was a triple double.
Oh, wow.
What's the next one, Jordan?
Taco Bell is turning it up a notch.
The brand's iconic
nacho fries are getting a sweet heat
remix with the debut of Zab's
chicken ranch nacho fries.
A limited time topped fries experience.
Not an op, not a menu thing.
It's an experience.
That features Zab's quote,
St. Augustine-style sauce
combined with Taco Bell's fan favorite
spicy ranch. The collaboration marks
Taco Bell's first ever.
Datil, pepper, hot sauce
partnership,
hitting menus April 16th.
Is Dotteel friends with Zab and Bulldog?
Yeah, that's like their overlord.
Like they have to report back.
You know how Zim has like the tallest?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Datteel's the tallest.
Datteel is the tallest.
Nick kept going, what's the Zab?
Why?
I don't know why he doesn't know what Zabs is.
You gave him a great bite.
Well, he didn't, well, that was before that.
And I was going to say,
there's a really good clip of us trying out
that Zabbs nacho fries.
I gotta give it up for Nick
going all the way in that video, man.
He didn't really have a choice.
I give it up to Nick for accepting it
and not bailing on it.
Oh man, it was pretty good.
He did.
He didn't bite down too soon.
Dude, it was pretty good.
It was, wow.
It was pretty good.
That's how you were supposed to eat it.
Yeah.
That's how you're supposed to eat the fries.
That's how Bulldog would want you to eat Zabs that way.
Zab is.
like gur. Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah. And then.
So Bulldog is like Zim. Yeah.
And the teal's the tallest. And then Zabs is
GER. And then the
teals is the tallest. Got it. Okay. And then we need
the paranormal
investigator kid. I think he's just be Nick.
I mean, it's fine. Nick can just do it.
He's a size kid wearing a sauce monkey head.
They're aliens.
No one at school likes them. It all makes sense.
It's fine. What are you talking about?
Hey, it's feet kid.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
We're going to get good fan art from this episode.
You need to get on the Discord.
Dude, you need to get on the Discord.
You need to get on the Discord.
It's going to look like, uh, it's going to look like an Invader Zim characters.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be awesome.
Welcome aboard via rail.
Please sit and enjoy.
Please sit and sip.
Play.
Post.
Taste.
Mm.
View.
And enjoy.
Via Rail.
Love the way.
All right, here's the press.
There's the press material.
We're always exploring partnerships that can bring a different kind of flavor experience to our menu.
And collaborating with Zabs delivered exactly that, said Liz Matthews, alien.
I mean, global chief food innovation.
Taco Bell.
Together we create a new take on ranch for Taco Bell, colon, creamy, balanced, and layered with a sweet heat thanks to the inclusion of the datil pepper that adds a whole new dimension to nacho fries.
Do you feel like it added a whole new dimension to nach fries?
I mean, it tasted different.
This is the sauce on the fries?
I think this might be a little extreme.
Yeah, I didn't notice.
The price sucked.
It just tasted like, you know, something was there.
I couldn't itemize it.
If you for some reason were to ask me, what are the layers?
I couldn't tell you.
Don't ask me.
Don't ask.
Is this Zabs work?
I'm detecting hints of Zab.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is Dutteal all the way.
You can tell.
We did try the nuggets.
They have like these new dusted, like,
Chipotle nuggets or something like that.
They were Diablo dusty.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, they were not Chipotle.
That comes with a bell sauce.
That, man, I really like that bell sauce.
It's very smoky and sweet.
A little sweet.
It was very smoky.
Yeah.
It was no detal, but, you know, I liked it.
No.
You guys like Earthbound.
To smoke more than I do,
but it was a good sauce.
How was the jalapeno honey mustard?
I didn't try that.
That one was mostly honey mustard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I just had no interest in trying that with that company.
Yeah, I looked at it and was like,
it's just regular honey mustard. Give it a spicy ranch or the
jalapeno. And then I saw jalapeno
honey mustard. Like, I'll give this a try. It was just
honey mustard. Yeah. Those, the nuggets
pretty good. The nuggets I'd go back for. Yeah.
Again, not part of this review necessarily, but like,
man. The nuggets I've been saying since they ever came out, they're great.
Like, they're really good. They're talking about how
they had to dial it in the first one you had.
They burned them a little bit. But that was it.
They're like really juicy,
like real chicken meat.
And the dust was very good.
Yeah. Yeah. To me,
getting that as part of a meal at Taco Bell
where you're gonna get like one or two other like small things
and then like a 10 piece nugget, that's a
fun little side tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big though. They're a 10 piece of
nugget. It's not like a 10 piece McDonald's nugget.
No, getting 10 of those is like big ass nugget.
It's pretty good chicken. It was pretty sizable. You did that
and then like, I don't know that you
get the triple double crunch wrap with it, but like
what's in that? Yeah, what's
triple about it? Should we?
Can't believe you went back. Can we? Don't know.
Don't know. Let me know in the comments.
Most fly.
Wow!
We have our review...
And then we come back?
Of talk about...
But we need to hear from you in a segment we call you review!
First one, very short.
Other two, very long.
So how do you guys want to do it?
I'll take the short one and figure out the rest.
Okay.
This is from J.N.
Okay.
He says, or they say,
slow as balls.
They ignore their dying in customer orders over the DoorDash orders.
Kiosk menu had several items missing.
I'm so hungry.
I've been waiting here.
25 minutes.
Oh, like us.
Yeah.
Putting it is so hungry.
I'm so hungry in the middle of the review
while you're waiting for it.
I'm so hungry.
He's just,
he was probably sitting where we were.
Like, you're looking at the counter
and he just sees all these door dash people walking in
and getting their food and leaving.
He's just like, I'm so hungry.
Wish I had some food.
I wish I had my dirty soda.
Must be nice.
He also like.
I got a basic question.
Where's my food?
Oh, I thought you were going to ask,
can I have $5?
Can I have my $5 back?
Yeah.
I'm not saying they never, like,
some places don't ever do this
because, sure, it depends on like,
whether it's driving or this or that or whatever.
But I think overwhelmingly,
when people go,
they're ignoring their dining customers
or door, it's like,
do you have no idea how that system works?
Do you think they have all that shit on a computer
and the computer tells them what to make
and what order and what has to get ready
and one number.
Like they sit there and go,
hey, who's next?
Fuck you.
And then they just go make something else.
I think the issue is that sometimes
it can be confusing when they put the bag out
and it's facing the wrong way.
Right.
So curious little monkeys.
So curious little monkeys need to go and see
and touch the food
and make sure that none of it's ours.
Touch the bag.
And then put it right back where it was.
Almost right back.
We were making the joke
as the bag was up there.
First of all, I made the joke.
I was like, hey, that could be ours, knowing it wasn't.
No, because it's way too small.
Yeah, he knew it wasn't also.
Yeah, but he had to be true.
But the name on it was facing away, like the thing.
So then he went over there, he turned to like, look, came back over.
It's like, it wasn't us.
It's like, oh, it's not for us, it's whatever.
And I go, well, I mean, you look, you didn't just spin it around while they were there.
So like, whoever's food it is, you save them the trouble and not having them.
And he went, well, no, I left it, so they never know.
And I'm like, mm, okay.
well, if that was it, you did, because
now it's moved at like a 45 degree angle.
And he was, oh. So then he went and put it back.
Like, fixing the 45th degree angle.
He pushed it away back to what it was.
Right, instead of just committed.
He used to go away from us.
No one would know. No one would know.
Then what's funny is those girls
that were waiting for food, at some point, eventually
they went up. They were looking at the bag.
Literally because he didn't flip her up.
They were like,
and they touched the back and looked at it.
Also wasn't their food.
Dude.
Fang's food got all fucked up.
Dang.
It's fucked up.
Oh, dude.
Slowest balls.
You want to do this one, Mike?
I'll do this one, sure.
Christian F says,
Oh, a follower.
Just had one of the worst experiences
in my fast food career.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
As an eater?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it looks like the career is going there,
not working there.
We'll see.
I went here for lunch.
Okay.
I got online and ordered the Lux craving box
and 10 chicken nuggets
with a zero mountain dew Baja blast.
Uh-oh.
After getting to the window,
I waited a while before the gentleman
handled my drink and food.
First of all, the drinks looked like
basically water with a little coloring in it,
so I already knew this drink would be bad.
Then I noticed the box
that the Lux Craving's meal came in
wasn't even folded correctly,
which was odd and a little concerning.
Okay, hold on.
I drove back to work to eat.
When I sat down to open the bag slash box,
I noticed that the food wasn't even warm, rather cold.
This guy works at Samsung.
I opened the box for the,
the 10 chicken nuggets and immediately
noticed all 10 of them were burnt
to a crisp. Oh no. So now
my drink is bad. I have burnt nuggets.
How can it get worse? Tell me. Can they seriously
go? Oh, and three? Yep.
I opened the half closed box and a bit
into a taco and immediately spit out
the food. The meat or something else tasted nasty
like chemicals. All together,
my lunch was ruined and I wased at $22.
Never coming to this terrible location again.
$22.
I believe everything.
He sold me on the burnt nuggets.
It's really hard to have plausible deniability when like this is a lot of stuff.
It's like bird nuggets.
Like I know that.
Like drink.
Nick's like,
I know that.
Oh,
it kind of tastes like chemicals like antifreeze.
Uh-oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I was going to say,
that's just what their meat tastes like.
It sucks that in your fast food career,
this is something that you have to do.
What a tough.
As a professional eater.
It's tough stretch.
It's tough.
Hey,
you know,
it's about getting out there and just giving it you're all.
Dude,
we all have slumps.
Yeah.
You just got it.
go out there and give it your best.
Every meal's a new opportunity.
Hit your way out of it.
Yep.
Yep.
Oh, what if they have the yips?
You didn't forget how to eat.
Yeah.
Well, the most concerning thing, though, is,
and this isn't their fault.
It's just you might have been able to save, you know,
your food.
Is he already had concerns before he left.
Based on like the full,
yes.
To me, every time it's like,
certainly way I left drove away and opened up later.
And I was right.
Like, confirm your suspicion there.
I'm just saying you could have like,
you're just driving down the street to Samsung.
Yeah.
It's still,
It's still your fault.
You're eating at the soccer fields.
I don't.
I disagree.
Meet up soon.
I think.
You're right.
He got laid on.
I think this guy was, I think this guy was drunk getting his food and driving back to the school.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
Where he puts in the work.
That's a clock in, clock out, you know?
This whole name location we went to?
Yeah.
This one was not, no.
Oh.
Weird that they had all the same problems.
Interesting.
All right.
Who wants to do the last one?
I'll do it.
Okay.
Okay.
Go for it.
It's to me already sounds like the voicemail.
You're gonna like this part.
You're gonna like this one.
This is from Courtney B.
Okay.
Why do I keep going to this chain?
You know why?
Because I have a 13 year old boy.
Okay.
Because I have a 13 year old 13 year boy old.
That's what it says.
That's what it says.
Who likes getting bubble guts.
I also have a 13 year boy old who likes getting bubble guts.
I mean, I don't like it.
I like to talk about that gives me bubble gut.
For sure.
For sure.
You like the before.
I went to this location yesterday
to get my son some food to
sustain him before dinner
after his school activities.
I actually went inside this location
and ordered as opposed to going
through the drive-thru to avoid
missing items not getting a receipt
or getting the wrong order, etc.
But guess what happened anyway?
What happened? What happened? What happened?
I ordered five items, two Doritos
tacos, two burrito supremes.
Locos. Oh. They didn't say it.
I'm just yelling at her.
Sorry, that's that's, that's,
It sounded like a correction.
Not for you.
I'm very sorry.
I am merely Jordan.
I am reading Courtney's words.
I too.
You embodied her too much.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
You know what?
Brito's Locos.
All right.
Jesus Christ.
Two burrito superiors,
apostrophe, yes.
All that for my son.
And a salad for myself.
Which, by the way, this is before dinner?
You're getting this.
I don't understand the before taco meal.
A little pre-dinner treat.
Before I left the establishment, I looked in the bag and noticed I was missing one of the burritos.
When I noticed this, I advised the cashier of such.
He looked at me oddly, like a dog when it hears a dog whistle.
He just goes.
Like a dog in a dog way.
He, Arf, he said.
And then inspected the bag while rummaging through it.
Like some sort of nick man.
While this may not be an unusual experience for me.
it was. This is why. Oh my God.
Why are you writing like this? Step one.
I got the bag with the food and within
one minute of getting the order while
standing at the counter, I advised the cashier
the burrito was missing. Step two.
The cashier questions me. Step
two, A.
I'm thinking,
why question me? Who am I?
David Copperfield? How did I make
an item disappear from inside the bag
into oblivion in less than a minute
while standing at the counter? I just
can't with you Taco Bell clowns.
Okay, listen, if this is her home, that was crazy.
That was crazy.
What the, what was the resolution?
I just, she probably got her food.
She didn't say they gave me nothing.
She didn't get some food and then they looked at your bag to make sure and then they gave you the food problem.
I made the burrito disappear and then turned him into a dog.
I also like, I fully believe they said like, hey, what did you get?
What did you get?
I'm sure they said, hey, what did you get?
And they looked in the bag.
And that's it.
And now went, and she went, oh, you think I stole it?
It's like, I feel like you're projecting all of that.
I'm sure.
And this is like, I don't know.
In front of my 13 boiled.
This is crazy for me.
It's like, oh yeah, anytime I have a fucked up order, I'll just like easily just hand them everything.
You figure it out and give it back to me.
See what's missing.
She got, I assume in the end she got the food.
Yeah, because she would have said something.
I need my dinner before my school activity.
Just on.
Yeah.
Her boy year old.
I hope that her 13 year old could.
get bubble guts from this.
Bubble guts, dude.
I forgot about bubble guts.
No one wants bubble guts.
What do you mean to her 13 year
boy old wants bubble guts?
That's horrible.
That's what she says.
He wants, he likes two Doritos tacos,
two turritos.
Locos!
Two Doritos tacos, two burrito superiors.
Before dinner?
Yeah.
Before dinner.
He's doing his school activities.
He's got to get a little bit of bubble guts just to get him going.
Yeah.
It tickles.
Yeah.
He's got the soap.
He has the Soco later.
He's got a little.
The drive-up window or the walk-up window is for him.
Man.
I'll be honest, the most annoying part about that was how fucking long that was and the way she wrote that.
Yeah.
Like that was, could not have been dragged out.
Right, question me. Who am I?
David Copperfield, step two A.
Shut up.
Oh my God.
Shut the fuck up.
All the thing about your son is irrelevant.
That is nothing to do with the goddamn complaint.
I went to talk about this is what I ordered.
This is what happened.
No one cares about your fucking 13-year-old son.
And his bubble guts.
If you can,
Rewind this episode on YouTube to watch Michael after he says,
who am I,
David Copperfield?
Because he just goes,
uh-huh,
yeah.
We're laughing at a half this lady.
You fucking hated it.
Yuck,
yuck.
You know what?
It's because it's like,
that was at that point,
when I,
oh,
you're just like this,
you're that person.
And I knew people like that.
Like,
you have comments like that for everything.
Yeah.
Like,
it's not funny even if it made sense.
because it doesn't make sense.
Like you in your head decided like,
what did I steal it? Oh, that'd be funny.
Oh, if I stole it, where would it go?
Oh, David Copperfield, that's a relevant person.
I'm a little bit of a creative writer, me thanks.
You know, you know, kids, David Copperfield.
My 13-year-boy-old wants bubble guts,
and I am a creative writer.
Welcome to my substack.
This is fucked.
Stupid.
Well, those are your reviews.
You did this.
Holy moly.
Yeah.
And we have our review of Taco Bell's triple,
Dired me,
double crunch wrap
and Zab's
Nacho fries Jordan.
I wish we had more
chicken nuggets
left.
Yeah.
Chicken nuggets
ultimately again.
Those chicken nuggets.
I would say
I'm fine with lumping
it into this
because it is a limited time thing.
I'm going to give a non-canon score
just for the chicken nuggets on their own.
And that score is going to be in the 87.
87 for the nugs.
Yeah.
Those were good.
Okay.
They were the best part.
Unfortunately,
and not being part of
the rest of the official
canon review.
You love the other items.
I knew that the thing was going to be a problem immediately.
The crunch wrap came out and it was
It was not
Jordan was not happy. I'm holding it in the package
And it's like sagging in the whole
It had no structural integrity.
Yeah. It was not up to code.
You gotta like hold the whole thing.
Like you have to maintain the entire thing
As you eat it and it never like gets easier.
It's never like oh as you eat it you can move down or whatever.
No. In fact, I don't eat them.
You have to like claw grip the crunch wrap and just kind of like spin it.
Like you have to eat them like that.
Mine was already kind of unfolding.
Uh-huh.
Underneath.
And so like the center was exposed.
I was like, okay, let me hold it together.
And then as I was eating it, just like two or three bites, it started splitting in half.
You had to fold it to like make it work?
I don't understand.
Like, I don't get how it was supposed to be bigger and better.
And the thing was like not closed.
Absolutely no crunch.
No, zero.
You're getting a crunch wrap forward.
It's right in the name.
If you watch it.
the ride along, you can hear how crunchy.
They're so crunchy.
My drink was strange and crunchy.
Yeah.
This is pretty nuts.
I also, Taco Bell,
Taco Bell with their crunchy, I will say.
They're crunchy anything.
You have a limited window to eat that before it's crunchy.
That even like, I'm not even defending them,
but like that crunch could have been way better if we didn't wait 25 minutes and then drive all
way back here and get it.
Man, that's a good point.
That's like, if I ever get crunchy it's a taco, I eat immediately.
First thing you got to eat the crunchy taco right away.
Don't, don't exist.
I don't think any of this.
Taco Bell necessarily traveled well either.
Like, no. The crunch wrap was toast
by the time we got it back here. I think the chicken nuggets
traveled quite well. You're right. Those nuggets did okay. Those fries
definitely didn't travel well.
Sog city.
Sog city? Cold city.
Yeah. Yeah.
Burr. Where am I, Chicago? Turn the wind down.
Who am I, John Chicago?
Yeah. They were cold. They were soggy.
You can't be writing this stuff down.
Even the, um,
John Chicago is the dip.
Like, I really like their,
uh,
their nacho fries.
But what makes them good is like how they have them and the dust and like the crunchiness
or whatever.
And they just come like that and you could dunk them in the cheese.
They just took those and it's like,
but what if we put a bunch of shit on top of it?
And it's going to make it soggy.
Make it impossible to pick up as well.
Right.
It's going to be soggy cold because we drove here.
But then also none of it stays on.
I hate that.
You hate that about every time we do like,
like an animal style, whatever.
There's never a fry you can grab.
It's when the ingredients aren't actually
thought through to
like coat the fry and just like
would just throw it on top.
And it's like cool, so you pick up the fry
and there's nothing on it.
That's what that is like.
Where they're just bits and pieces of shit.
So sometimes you just got to grab it
and put it in the next mouth.
And you did it.
Sometimes you just want some buy.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, when I did it that way,
it was the best bite you had.
Yeah.
You have to just smash it all.
I told Eric,
after that.
You need to take like a potato smasher.
Smash all that shit up,
eat with a spoon.
Then the flavor might be pretty good,
but not the way they're selling it.
Nope.
Yeah.
So this is a pretty disappointing effort from Taco Bell,
who's usually the oasis in the desert,
but not today.
Just as bad as everything else.
It's a 45.
45.
And it's fair.
I'm also not like a big crunch rat person in general.
I think like so many other things are better than that there.
And they're just weird shape.
Pain in the ass.
Hexagons?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Triple and double?
Who can make sense of it?
I'm actually really glad though, especially after Alamo and some like real heinous shit.
For Taco Bell, I'm like, yeah, this like really sucked.
Yeah.
I wouldn't recommend it.
52.
Okay.
Right.
Like that, I was like, oh, because it's still like actually pretty decent.
Keep in mind, you gave Alamo a three.
Yeah.
And I feel like that was, I'm okay with that.
So that's 48.5 for the triple double crunch wrap.
and these Zabbs, nacho fries.
But Jordan gave the nuggets in 87.
What would you non-canon score give those nuggets?
90.
90.
90.
Which might even be lower than I did.
You gave them the original?
I don't know.
I don't care.
I'd still go for the year.
It's a new thing every day.
Yep.
That would have been an 88.5.
Those were fucking good.
They were really good.
And the dust, like, the Diablo dust has a kick.
It had a kick and it was really well-coded.
It wasn't like shitted on.
We're like, where is it?
It was like they were covered in it.
You get two different dipping sauces.
they gave us three, but like, we got the dipping sauces.
They were fucking good.
Because we didn't get the dirty sodas.
That must have been it.
Hook us up.
Hook us up.
They wanted us to put the ranch in the soda.
Oh, we don't have those.
Oh, we don't have those.
Oh, cool.
I thought maybe you'd tell me that because we paid for them.
Right.
You just thought we'd leave and then write a Yelp review, so I don't know.
Like, whatever, I guess.
Yep.
Hey, that's our review of Taco Bell, but don't forget the anniversaries right around the corner.
May 11th.
See, you did it, Jeff's style.
May 11th, the anniversary.
That's right.
That is it.
Yeah, we're celebrating April 1st.
What the fuck?
It was 20 years.
It was 20 years of that.
Yeah, it's the second year of this one, man.
May 11th.
Feels like the 20th.
We're going to have a whole week of stuff coming out on Patreon.
That's right.
Little angles.
Especially me.
Yes.
Triple angels.
That's right.
Triple angels.
Triple double angels in the outfield?
Whoa.
We're dead.
Yep.
So you want to go to Patreon.com
slash 100% eat
to get all of that
all that content
that we're going to be putting out
the week of the anniversary.
Car Captives is coming out.
We're going to have all of Camp Betrayal.
We have a lot of new ideas,
a lot of cool stuff that's coming out really soon.
Campitrail season two is coming out?
Camp Betrayal season one with commentary
with Chris.
That's pasta peevee.
He's got like two monkey heads
the next one is really funny.
Yeah.
This is his mounts.
That's Patreon.com
slash 100% eat
where you can also watch
the Michael Jordan podcast.
The last one, Coco's Bavarian,
recommend.
Go check it out.
Yeah.
And also go check out
Coco's Bavarian.
Fucking fantastic.
I can't remember where I put those cards.
Uh-oh.
Shit.
Probably use them.
100% eat.
For merch,
streaming.com slash 100%
E.
What he's doing?
Look, it's a double-sided monkey head.
This one tells truth.
This one tells lies.
Triple double monkey?
Dried.
Triple double monkey head?
Oh, no.
No, just double.
Uh.
Yeah.
And then throw one more.
I knew that was going to happen
I was worried about Jordan's water
well I didn't know what's happened oh really how nice for once
triple double monkey how
okay so you can follow us
I guess I don't know why I'm putting you don't want to go in there do you
you can follow us at 100% eat
on Twitter Instagram and blue sky
you look great you can see what we look like Nick
you see where we're up to Patreon
you're up to Patreon
Nick's having so much fun watching this
Is this what it's like?
Yeah!
Oh!
I didn't see anything.
He doesn't.
He doesn't.
It happens all the time.
Jesus Christ.
How did I make more money?
This is great.
Hey, if you want to send stuff to 100% treater to us, you can.
P.O. Box 14.30, 3, 3,2, 41, Texas, 7714.
That's Peelebox 14.
3, 241, Austin, Texas, 8, 7, 7, 7, 7, 1.4.
It's up there, man.
It's so up today.
Yep.
Anything else?
No, no, that's it, baby.
Well, that's better.
There you go.
Now I can see.
Whoa.
You fixed it.
Oh, he just went at you.
Rate subscribe, tell a friend about this show where we all become monkeys, triple double style.
He'll kill you.
Don't look at me again.
Goodbye.
Your eyes.
