100% Eat - BUT WHAT IS TRIPLED? %% Taco Bell Triple Double Crunchwrap & Zab's Nacho Fries

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

Our Heroes decide that today is a good day and return to Taco Bell to check out their new Triple Double crunchwrap. None of us are crunchwrap guys but maybe whatever they tripled makes it good and we'...ll definitely all understand what is tripled. Zab also gets with Buldak to take over the world? We get a little in the weeds in this episode. OUR ANNIVERSARY is May 11 and we'll celebrate with a FULL WEEK of exclusive videos on Patreon. Prepare for guests, promises fulfilled, and being trapped in a car with Sauce Monkey. New beanie, new magnet, & NEW SHIRT this FRIDAY! https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:00 Ready, here we go! I was actually talking about Miss Frissel. Oh, nice. Okay. Nice, nice. Oh, you're frizzled. Welcome to 100% eat. The show we're driving fast ford front of what you need it.
Starting point is 00:01:16 You probably do, and that's not all you need. Hop on the magic school bus. I'm your host, Michael Jones, a long time. I co-host, Jordan Spears. It's rare that. It's rare that Nick throws a wrench in the things in a way that I don't know how to proceed. What do you mean? It's happened a couple times today.
Starting point is 00:01:32 I know him. I know. I was like, wait, wait. You know what? Wait, I know about the guy game stuff. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Like, we're like normal.
Starting point is 00:01:45 It's not basic. Just like normal questions. Like it's regular. Uh-huh. You have five bucks? Aw. It was just like that. Really?
Starting point is 00:01:57 It was really. He was really beating around the place. Yeah, he was. And like, and straight in. I felt like I was the guy that he was talking to because it's like if that guy wasn't there, he would have been talking to me. Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:07 And it was absolutely every hallmark of like, what does this guy want? But like, you're going to ask for my, like, borrow my phone or you're out of gas. It's like random person in, out in real world. Outside of talk about. And they're talking to me. Yeah. Fuck. And then for him to go, got five bucks?
Starting point is 00:02:24 I was like, whoa. That has never heard that before. That was crazy. It's a great tactic. You really like. It caught me off. You're softening up. It's a great tactic to reel them in.
Starting point is 00:02:34 It changes nothing. You're not at all more likely. You're just going, whoa. I did not expect you're going to ask for my bucks after all that. That is crazy. I did not see that coming. Absolutely no. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:02:46 We were going to talk about forever. I'm impressed. I went outside because I was getting, I was hungry and thirsty and I was so thirsty. And I went, I guess I would drink my vape. I walked outside. And I heard that interaction. And you were trying to drink and then it just turned into smoke.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah. It's gone. It's gone. happened. It was back to back because right before that, we were in Taco Bell waiting. We went to talk about, by the way, too. Let's see what was it on here. The Taco Bell triple double
Starting point is 00:03:09 cruncher up and Zab's Dachau Fries. Who is Zab? I guess we'll figure that out. There's a guy in the bottle. I thought it was another alien. Boy. What was it, Bulldog or something? We were Bullock and Zab. You guys just get to be a
Starting point is 00:03:25 Moldo. Mimby. Morg and Mindee. Mindis. It's good. I like him. All right, coming soon to adult swim. We were trapped inside of a talk about. Yeah, oh, finally.
Starting point is 00:03:36 We're taking over smiling friends, but they're not doing it. It gave me that hard. We were inside that taco ball for a long time. Yeah, and so right before I went outside, we were standing around. I saw a lady come in and it was just like, it all happened, but then I saw where she went, so I put it all together in my head where she was coming in, she opened the door, but then like tried to like walk through the door faster than it was open. I'm assuming it just had a little more
Starting point is 00:04:01 push than she was expecting. Right. You just kind of like, yeah, it was like, but but like, then just kind of slid through the amount that was open and right down the hallway to the bathroom. So I was like, this lady had to go. Yeah. She didn't have time for the door to not be cooperative. That just happened. I went, that's crazy. I'm going outside. Yeah. And then I walked outside. I was like, I got to go back inside. I got a real basic question. Michael
Starting point is 00:04:23 walked outside and came back inside so fast. It was so, I just went, that certainly that's not enough time to vape. Yeah. I was just like, he's just gonna walk over to me and I'm gonna say no, but like right, you were just like, I'm gonna. I was like, and then he walked in and he went to the bathroom. Yeah, he did. Yeah, and Michael just, you know, that's him, that's him, that's the guy, that's the guy, that's him, that's
Starting point is 00:04:42 $5. I was gonna ask him a complicated question. You got $10. I wonder if it becomes a more complicated question. I have like an equation I need you. Oh shit. I have $50. Solve this first. If you do, we'll go to the next phase. We'll go to the next phase. You've made it to the next round. Can I have $10?
Starting point is 00:04:59 Congratulations. He's like clapping. That was weird. And then Taco Bell ordered the food. Ordered the food. Orrida. Our trusty iPad. Yep. I don't mind ordering a Taco Bell from the iPad
Starting point is 00:05:18 because it's the customization, everything's there. It's so much better. It is. Especially talking to people who work at Taco Bell. Just make the food that we don't have to do this thing. Yeah, yeah. Ordered the drinks. They gave us the food after waiting for 25 minutes.
Starting point is 00:05:29 They gave us the food, and I went to hand the bags to Nick so I could go back and go, hey, we're, we also have like these drinks coming. Don't worry, Nick's on it. And Nick, like, under his breath, is like, where's the drinks? Where's the rest of it? Where's the rest of it? He was like so upset. And then, and then Michael was like, yeah, where are those drinks?
Starting point is 00:05:49 The in the bag? Yeah, they're in the bag right there? And I went, no, I'm going to ask right now. It's fine. And then the guy said, I'll handle it. Yeah. So I asked the guy. I'm like, hey, we actually have drinks coming.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Four drinks. He's like, oh, what size? I'm like, no, no, they were like the dirty sodas. And he went, oh, we just ran out of that stuff, like out of like the cream. Bad luck. Yeah, I can't believe, I can't believe it just happened. Wow, how crazy. Did you see all the people ahead of us who got it?
Starting point is 00:06:15 Wow, that's wow. Whoa, man, so lucky. I know, right? Weird. We went, that wasn't what we were reviewing today, but I went, hey, they have like these dirty sodas. Let's try it. It was a fun little, oh, look at this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Wait 25 minutes. Not for you. So me and Nick. got Baja Blasts. Yeah. Jordan, did you get a Baja blast? I got midnight and I guess regularly. Yeah, and so we're ordering like the dirties or whatever
Starting point is 00:06:39 and then Mountain Dew not on the list for dirty sodas. And so Michael's just like, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? It's going into the Routen Dew Arasure. And I talk about it in the Ritalin. Where it's just like you, it feels like you'd go out of your way to not include it. It's like Baja Blast, dirty soda. Right there's just, you could just click it.
Starting point is 00:06:56 It's one of the selections. Other one, the, what was it just called? Midnight? Midnight blast. Dirty soda. Mountain Dew. What? It's like, it's just like, it seems stupid just not to list it. But then you go into it.
Starting point is 00:07:08 You click on it and it's like, this is regular, a little pop-up. This is regular Mountain Dew. Are you sure? Are you sure? Continue? So, when to right-hurt back now, you could click like make it dirty. Right. Michael's like, oh, make it dirty.
Starting point is 00:07:21 And then we ordered during like their happy hour or whatever. So it was a dollar and he's like, well, it's stupid not to get the dollar one when they're The other one's like three bucks or whatever. So it clicked on the dollar, but then it made it like double dirty. Going from the large, right? Because it's like $2.89. I love that large is the default too.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Yes, of course. I mean, it's Taco Bell. And here's the thing. If it wasn't for the dollar thing, it would be like 20 cents more than the medium, which is like, I don't fuck it. You know, whatever. Like, you're paying for soda, right?
Starting point is 00:07:46 It's like, it's like you might as well get the big one because it's crazy. It's just to get a smaller size, but like the price doesn't change at all. But it was a dollar and I was like, okay, hang on now. Now this seems like a waste of money. A dollar $89 cheaper for a soda I'm not really going to drink.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Right. I'll take the medium. And then it doubled the cream. It was like, wait, what? It was, we were just looking at going, hey, that's probably why I got used all up. That's what happened. So we just got handed like soda cups or whatever and then Nick finally tried Baja Blast with actual syrup instead of like. First time.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Yeah. What did you think? Yeah. Mountain Dew's better. Baja blast has that little like, I can only describe it as like a twing. Yeah. Yeah. It tastes like going to the beach.
Starting point is 00:08:25 It has like this. like tropical thing to it. That's the thing of like Mountain Dew Baja Blast isn't like a Mountain Dew with a twist. No. It's just completely different. It's a totally different thing. It's like vanilla coke.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Like that and that's why I'm like I don't dislike it but I'm like it's nothing like Mountain Dew. If it was like Mountain Dew with a little thing on it I would probably get a lot more. But I just like if you don't call them both Mountain Dew they're two completely different sodas. That's interesting. And I like the first soda much better than the second one.
Starting point is 00:08:53 They should just call Baja Blah Blah. Separated. It's very different. Mountain Dew doesn't really do what like Pepsi and Coke and everyone does wear. They do the do. They do the do. That's all they do. Simply put, they do the do.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Don't get that twisted. Taco Bell don't do it with the cream. Scooby-Doo can do too. And what? They fuck you. Don't forget Scrappy Doo. Scrappy Mountain Dew. If Scooby said fuck you.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Imagine what he said. He's in the Manosphere. Scrabby do. I never thought about how Mountain Dew doesn't like do stuff with its original flavor. It just goes, here are other things. Oh, us here at Mountain Dew also made this thing. Yes. And it has nothing to do with that.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Code Red. I love Code Red. I love Code Red. It's not really Mountain Dew. It's not Mountain Dew with like. Bahablas is totally different. No, it's it. They're totally different sodas.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Huh. It's like the only one that does that. I'm like a dying breed. Like my kids, if we go, the same thing. It's like they're, we bomb Blah Blast. I'm like, try the regular though. Try it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:52 It's, you might like it. My wife loves regular Mountain Dew. She doesn't want you. any, my wife doesn't want any soda that isn't just, she will buy mini cans of regular Mountain Dew. Those many cans are quite nice. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:04 But, which is perfect for her. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, she goes, yes, it's perfect. It's, it's like Gremlin style.
Starting point is 00:10:11 It's like Gremlin style. It is. Yeah. So she, uh, gray. I got to come in. All right.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Yeah. Uh, yeah. That's right. Uh, that's right. Uh, but Taco Bell, we were saying on the way,
Starting point is 00:10:23 like, someone's going to leave a comment. Like, whoa, Michael is gray here. 100% there. I think we might even know who's gonna leave it. I'm gonna leave three or four paragraphs about some real crazy stuff.
Starting point is 00:10:35 I hadn't had Taco Bell, I think, since like the last Taco Bell episode. And it's just been a while. And I was like a little. Just don't say anything. Wow. Just don't. No, I'm judging you. I like that's, Nick's just me like,
Starting point is 00:10:49 damn, what a school. So what was, that was looking ahead here. That was back in. November. Dude, that's like, it's like six months. You could have been. It's a while and I was enjoying. I was a little down on it and then we went to Taco Bell today. Like you were down on it because you haven't eaten it. Yeah. Yeah. And then
Starting point is 00:11:05 I just went like maybe, maybe I don't know, I don't know. And then I ate it today and went, I can eat this tomorrow. Like so fucking, so fucking easy. Could you have your wife go there tonight to get it for you? I probably, if I told her let's go get Taco Bell tonight, she would probably for Taco Bell. Yeah. And she would go, yes, I want a large
Starting point is 00:11:21 mountain do. Oh, yeah. So she would go for the soda. Yeah, yeah. But you Oh, me to go pick it up? Yeah, yeah, she's not gonna go across down for that. She's gonna go, I have Mountain Dew at home. Taco Bell, you mean the Mountain Dew store? Which is the same as, yeah. Usually doesn't work out that way. My Mountain Dew at home is the same as the Mountain Dew.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Yeah, she just loves Mountain Dew. I don't know. It's good, I like it too. Yeah. But Taco Bell, they had their big, like, here's everything that we have coming out for like the year or whatever. And I don't think it made the splash that it did like the year before or really like the year previous.
Starting point is 00:11:55 We didn't watch it or talking about it. Beyond that, I haven't seen stuff online because I have to be stupid plugged into all this bullshit. I haven't seen the amount of it online that I saw like last year or the year before where people are like, whoa, check this out. The only thing is like, here's Baja Blast pie. That was like the thing they did one time.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Yeah, the one that tastes like antifreeze. That was the ice cream. Yeah, anti-freeze ice cream. You feed it to your cat in the driveway. It's ice cream. It's ice cream. You're saying good? Annie freezes, I mean, no one would be pretty sweet.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Yeah, yeah. Delicious for neighborhood cats and raccoons. So just lick up. Yeah, they love it. But Taco Bell, you guys go a bunch of this still or no? Like, is Taco Bell a place that, like, you're frequenting? I don't go through any of these fast food restaurants. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:44 And not even. Why are you? Not anymore. Ask. What's changed? A little bit more geared towards Michael. I understand this. You said you guys.
Starting point is 00:12:50 I know. I have to cast the wide net because you didn't have to. Because in the off chance that you go, yes. I actually went there a bunch of times. That would be shocking. But it also would be weird if you were talking to me and Jordan. You and I had said like, Michael, hey, Jordan, you guys go to like race shows still? You go watch cars go room?
Starting point is 00:13:08 You still doing that all the time? Race show. Yeah, you go room room. You know, you see the Formula One? You see the Formula One thing? Oh, yeah. I feel like you said this thing about cars. He said the thing about cars.
Starting point is 00:13:20 He didn't know what you were talking about until you said Formula One. And then he went, oh, I got it. No, no, no, no. I got it, I got it. I was more worried about the other, yeah, yeah. What did you think a race show was? I got it. I know what you were talking about.
Starting point is 00:13:32 A bunch of white people. Yeah, I was, I was just like, he was like, I don't know if I like that name. Well, it's the reason that we have to stop making our podcast race wars that's about NASCAR. We're always so close to starting it, and then something else happens. It really, it really, like, poisons the algorithm. Um. Your kid's all about Taco Bell or is it like even a thing that? Yeah, Iris loves the, uh, cheese, you go to eat crunch. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:14:00 Thing. Good. Raising her right. Yep. Yeah. She's got a lot. It's one of the few things Michael and I are aligned on. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:07 I know. And that's why I was like, okay, good. It's like, I can bring you around Jordan. Yeah. Um, what about crunch wraps? No. Because we all talked about how we're not really crunch rap. It's kind of the same thing, but it's the same thing.
Starting point is 00:14:20 It's the same thing. But like kids, kids, that's, way too complicated for them. They just mostly care about flavor, right? Taste profile. So that's why even like, Iris, I was kind of like, oh shit, like the first time she ever had it because it's like, it's not simple, you know? It's like a taco wrapped in a thing and it's crunchy or whatever.
Starting point is 00:14:36 And she was like, I want that every time. Like, anytime I go, just get her that. Wow. Luna's way more of kid of like cheese, meat. Like, maybe she'll eat a taco. Maybe she won't. She will not eat a crunch wrap and be like, what the fuck is this? Like, if I show you how she eats a sandwich, yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Like, no fucking way. So cut up the middle. Yeah, 100%. I'm just like, I would never, ever give that to them. Know that game. Yeah, it's crazy. Jordan had to fold his in half today. It was fucked up.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Yeah, the structural integrity leaves a lot to be desired of this one. And it's because it's a triple double. It's fucking huge. It's thick. I think they won't one layer too high. Yeah, I don't think it's maybe a necessity. They're flying too close to the sun. Maybe just a double.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Yeah. You think that it should just be a double? as opposed to a triple double What's the triple in it? The triple is you got... He wants to make sure that there's more You got double... I agree with him.
Starting point is 00:15:31 You got double... I'll be honest with you to know. I agree with Nick's logic. He doesn't need to know what the fuck the triple double is. But he would still like a double because it is more... Double meat.
Starting point is 00:15:41 I'm on his side. He doesn't need to know what the fuck that means. The crunch rap... But he wants less? Still more, but less. I understand it perfectly. The crunch rap hit double digits in points.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Uh-huh. It's a... rebounds. Yeah, yeah. It was a machine. It's made for Wenam. Yeah, it was the concussed superstar, Victor Wenamma. He's going to be extra hungry.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Imagine if his jaw had landed right on a triple double crunch wrap instead. It would have been, takes a bite gong. It would have been so pillowy soft. Yeah, because there's no crunch on these. That'll be the first time in his life that he's ever eating Taco well because they just like, they don't allow that at like the monastery that he trains at or
Starting point is 00:16:15 whatever. Was it like Janus or something? Like the first thing he had in America was like Oreos or something? Oh, was it or? was like some sort of like junk food. And he was like, I just had Oreos. America rules. Yeah, he has a good cookie.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Yeah, he had Oreos and someone's like, oh, you're like, oh, it was like him talking about like dunking him in milk or whatever. And he was just like, I couldn't believe it. And it's like, really? He's like, it's incredible. It's like, it made it so much better. Yeah, I mean, I can believe that with an Oreo specifically. When you eat Oreos, you never fail.
Starting point is 00:16:42 No. Because if imagine he did that with like Hershey's chocolate, you'd fucking. Oh, yeah, yeah. He would be like, he would turn around. I'm leaving. On the plane. Just go back to Greece. I'm going back home.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I ain't doing this shit. It's fucked up. Damn. Okay, flights on air Canada. Where'd you want to go? The Azores? For its hot springs and volcanoes? Hmm, speaking of volcanoes, what about Japan?
Starting point is 00:17:03 Mmm, you know I love sushi. Not as much as I love tapas. Maybe, Majorca. We could hit the beach, then go hiking. Hiking? Or how about a seaside stroll in Sicily? Ooh, I do love canolies. Wait, what do you think of...
Starting point is 00:17:17 With a world of destinations to choose from. Good luck picking just one. Air Canada. Nice travels. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh. Then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my out of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business,
Starting point is 00:17:46 your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IG Private Wealth.com But hey, you guys want to learn about it? I want to cut you. No. You guys want to learn about Taco Bell? Sure.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Yeah, I want to learn about McDonald's. I want to learn about the last McDonald's episode. The last time me and Eric both had Taco Bell. Or McDonald's. Who knows? Who the fuck knows? Our last McDonald's episode was on November 4th, 20205 where we ate Taco Bell flamen hot. She grilled cheese burrito with Gracie.
Starting point is 00:18:16 She's like part of the food. Yeah. It received an average rating of 74. Gracie was there eating with us. Because it was a Gracie episode and he said, where do you want to go? And she said Taco Bell. And then I went, okay, we did it like, we did it like three or four weeks before that. But it's where she wanted to go.
Starting point is 00:18:30 So we took her there. We do go to Taco Bell a lot. But they were making a lot. On that infographic that Madison made for our first 100 episodes, which was really cool. Taco Bell was our most visited restaurant. Yeah, I mean, they have the most limited time. It's true. It's true.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Yeah. And not like even. I don't remember this Flamen and Haunt thing, but you know what? I don't remember it. Not because, like, some places there's like, I don't remember that shit. I don't remember it because it's like, there's so much.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Yeah. Another Taco Bell thing. And most of them, for a place we do go to a lot, isn't like, and it's just a sauce. Yes. They just keep making different weird shit.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Oh, fuck, man, we had those nuggets. Yeah. Dude, those were crazy. Yeah. Not even part of this. I'm fucking glad we got them. Me too.
Starting point is 00:19:08 It's kind of a saving grace. We're talking about Taco Bell. We again, we went to the one thing, or the two things that were on here, opened it up. It's like, whoa, What are these nuggets?
Starting point is 00:19:16 What are these nuggets? What are they have dirty sodas? It was just like, oh yeah, yeah. They just, oh, they just missed them. Oh, you just missed them. We just ran out three hours ago. I didn't hear the guy tell him that, but I knew that's what happened. When we were getting our drinks then.
Starting point is 00:19:30 He just kept going, guys, well, we just missed it. We just, it was like, oh, just, oh, we just went that way. The guy asked me for five bucks and then we ran out. Oh, no. He walked into the drive-thru. No. That's a real basic question. That's what the guy walked out with.
Starting point is 00:19:45 the box with it was all their milk. There's a box of milk. Nicklin, we got milk back in the house. He was like trying to salvage it. It was like, how can we make this at home? Milk? You guys, you're only 2% I can throw in my Baja blast? Heavy cream for me?
Starting point is 00:20:05 Now we should get, what do you need to make that? It's like a little stir. How do you turn milk into cream? Right, yeah. Well, it's a different fat percent. So it's just, it's a different type of milk. Yeah. Right, but I'm saying you can make it what you need to add to make it. Like how you like cooking? You add other ingredients to make one thing like to another thing. Right. So if you start with a heavy cream like a sweet cream and then you mix probably a vanilla syrup with it and then stir it. I think that's what it is. I don't think he's going. Sounds like things we have here. I don't know. I don't think we can make two percent into it. I don't know that we can or cannot. That's why I'm asking. Yeah. We have cream at home. Maybe when we have dirty soda soda. Start with milk. Ice cream. Where does that go? That would get that. How much closer is that? Honestly, if you put vanilla ice cream in a Baja blast, that might do it.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Well, that makes it a flow. Do you have vanilla ice cream? We'd have to melt the vanilla ice cream first. Probably. We have no more Baja blast. Do we have a little bit? Do we have regular Mountain Dew? I think so.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Maybe the Michael Jordan, maybe the Michael Jordan podcast is going to be very interesting. Oh, root around. Yep. All right. Pig style. Just looking at it. I knew he's going to eat.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Now I'm just looking at the monkey. Just confirmed. I'll kill you. The eyes are crazy. Yeah, the four eyes? Yeah. Not the way you've ever been called four eyes before.
Starting point is 00:21:21 No, no, no. Hey, four eyes. It's all right, four eyes. Let's get out of here. Just confirmed by the company, Taco Bell will be opening their first location in Apple Green close to Lisbonne in Northern Ireland.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Oh. Prepare for the new troubles where the only bombs dropped are in public toilets at the train station during rush hour. In your head? Out your ass. Eric.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Eric wrote that. Yeah, that was good. You like that one. We love a crime. I was very happy. I was writing it. That was the first one. And I went, Northern Ireland, no way.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Eric. I was, like, all the jokes were coming out at the same time. And I'm like, how much like a. Badd. Badd-B-A-D-O-V-E-R. Yeah, the Northern Ireland's first Taco Bell ever. Apple Green. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:13 It's just, it's at like a. a train station and I just can't imagine. Nothing like, you know, eating some Taco Bell and then getting inside a closed space. But also eating some Taco Bell for the, maybe the first time ever in your life. The Irish stomach, I don't know, is like ready for what's about to happen with like fire. You gotta start somewhere. You gotta start somewhere. They're not gonna start with mild.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Have you seen the Irish? It's gonna start with mild. They'll get sunburned just looking at it. They're gonna start with fire because we dare them. We're like, you guys, guys. you can't handle this. I like the new troubles. I would have called it Troubles too.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Oh, nice. Nice, nice, nice. I wasn't sure. I felt like new troubles was good. Dropping bombs was definitely like, how do I get this into something? You don't have to try very hard. No.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Going into the toilet car is a whole different type of car bomb. Does that go? Was that funny? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing it. I used to order those all time. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:14 And that's like, that's what we call it. Yeah. And then it was like, time went by and it was just like, don't say that. And I missed that in between time where I went, but that's what I ordered. But right, but that's the thing. You were ordering it and drinking it all the time. And then when you stopped, it all changed. And then you went back and they went, that's not what it's called anymore.
Starting point is 00:23:35 It was someone going, it's called this instead. I'm going, no, it isn't. It's called this. And then you hopped up on the bar. You said, it's called this. Give me the goddamn thing. And then I waved a flag and I said, I don't want a moka. a frapp of free kachino
Starting point is 00:23:48 and everyone clapped. And that guy, that man's name, Albert Einstein. That's right. Now, I have a show on FX. I have a Netflix special
Starting point is 00:23:59 and that's my only joke. It's great. Good for you, dude. A Tomoduchi Life player has gone viral after recreating a full taco bowl cheesy gourdita crunch meal inside the game building it pixel by pixel
Starting point is 00:24:10 using a custom image tool. People should recreate this for 100% eat and give the sauce monkey a big foot to suck on then they should post it on Discord then we can print it out and frame it suck on that so let me tell you
Starting point is 00:24:23 Iris has been playing the shit out of it. Oh really? Cool. Yeah. It is like it's crazy. So you can really get so customizable real talking like from AI. Yeah what's up with that? She'll just be like check this out and shows and I was like too this is weird. Yeah. I'm
Starting point is 00:24:39 sauce monkey. I'll kill you. My name's Iris. I'm the Sigma. I'm Sigma. I'm Sigma 6-7-67. And I was like that's, I mean my When I was getting best case scenario, it would be like, Michael. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that game's talking to me.
Starting point is 00:24:52 You can do, you can like make anything, write anything. She like cursing, whatever. She like draws all the clothes and shit. It's like cool as shit, dude. It's really nuts. I saw someone make like a camp camp character with like, I was like, oh, that's cool. It was just customized when you can make your character look like that. They were holding like a custom like prop.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Yeah. Yeah. It's like you can straight like how they draw stuff. It's crazy. Yeah. I saw one guy. made Alan from smiling friends and they gave him Gleb and it was like oh that's cool and they
Starting point is 00:25:19 just made like a little Gleb and like finally my friend my friend Gleb and he held it up and it was great I saw one my switches in my car I'll go dig it out maybe I'll show you my friend my friend made one and he's just like oh it's like me and all my friends and then the fucking devil and his name is the fucking devil so he
Starting point is 00:25:35 he goes and introduces people goes hello I'm the fucking devil you can make him say yeah dude there's no online component to it it's all like single they don't care yeah yeah yeah Yes. Yes. Truly, they don't care.
Starting point is 00:25:48 It's crazy. They went like, yeah, do it. Like cursing all of it. That's what I'm saying, make a foot for the monkey to suck. Because nothing will stop it. Make the foot a character. Yeah, you make, and then that's his best friend. I'm the fucking foot.
Starting point is 00:26:01 He falls in love with them. Friends to lovers. All right, now you have a script to follow. This is good. Yep. This is good. He's still at the beginning of the story. You still at the beginning.
Starting point is 00:26:11 He'll come around. You can make the sauce. I guarantee you can make the sauce. in it. I guarantee. And I give you full permission to put the sauce monkey in it and he can do whatever
Starting point is 00:26:20 you want him to do and I mean whatever. Charges are pending Well then why why isn't Nick doing it? Chargers are pending after a fight on social media boiled over into the Taco Bell
Starting point is 00:26:35 drive-thru in Whiteville, Ohio. Saturday? Yeah, on Saturday. I just read it on Saturday. That's where our racing podcast Racehorse.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Right, Whiteville, Ohio Saturday. Michael Eugene Lennon 30 was working at the drive-thru when the suspect went to the restaurant, stopped his vehicle, and backed up when he realized Lennon was working. The suspect then went to the window and allegedly began assaulting Lennon through the window. The fight was the result of an ongoing squabble on social media and after the assault, the suspect fled the scene.
Starting point is 00:27:05 If you have any information about the suspect, keep it your fucking self. We don't rep no snitches round here, homie. Snitches get stitches, and the sauce monkey ready to cut you up, put you back together all wrong. There was also no information in that. I kept reading and reading and reading and reading.
Starting point is 00:27:23 And it's like, yeah. What was the fight about or for? No idea. I'm condensing the whole article and they had no more information. There's just nothing. How did it start on social media? But there was nothing. No idea.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I thought this was great because it was an article at the news about a guy getting his fucking ass kicked who worked at the Taco Bell. So much that the guy that kicked his ass drove by saw him stopped, backed up and then beat the shit out of him. They said that
Starting point is 00:27:52 they said the laceration on this guy's head was so big it's going to leave a permanent scar. Oh shit! He got fucking wrecked at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru Window. Why? Social media! I need to know, exactly.
Starting point is 00:28:07 They probably had differing views on the latest season of whatever show. Yeah, it was the late night walk-up window. It was, it was, the late-night walk-up window. The late night walk-up window and you're beating the shit out of them. That's the fucking weirdest thing. The late-night walk-up window is so bizarre.
Starting point is 00:28:22 It was also like when the restaurant's closed, that window, thinking about like where it was like the restaurant, was it just by the bathrooms? It wasn't that hallway, but like it was also kind of lined up with like how you come out from behind the counter. So like you would come out of the kitchen,
Starting point is 00:28:38 turn left and walk straight and probably like be pretty well lined up with the window. Okay. Bizarred. Still kind of weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a whole drive-through over. over there, but you're going out this way. I guess you're right. Like maybe there's like apartments around there.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Nick was like walking up going like, I was probably for like drunk people. And I'm like, I guess there's like a bar around here. And he's like, yeah, and the school. Yeah. It's drunk kids. Kids love drinking. All right. No, no, they don't.
Starting point is 00:29:02 We talked about it on the way. No, they don't. Did you like your first drink? No. I liked what it did. Yeah. Yeah. I like that.
Starting point is 00:29:11 That's why I skipped beer. That is like, I was like, we, I was like, See, Michael's the cautionary tale. I'm a cautionary tale. We're all like having a drink of something as a young kid was like, ugh. I'm never going to drink that. Yeah. And then the next time I drank, I was like 21.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Right. For me, it's not very much of a cautionary tale because like you think bad drinks or like that's the only bad thing I'm going to eat. It's like, oh, this tastes terrible. Well, so does half of the things I eat. It doesn't matter. Part of the course. Yeah. But when I eat Taco Bell, I feel.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I don't feel this good. It was drinking Southern Comfort in high school and being like and we would just do shot shot shot shot shot and then wander around drunk. And then later met like older kids
Starting point is 00:30:01 they were like from a different school and there was like yeah we're doing this ride we're like we got some beers. I'm like yo yeah that's fucking gross dude. Where's your liquor? Yeah we're like we got my brother has old beers. I was like now I'm good Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Soco was the one... Whatever, kid. Soco was such a starter. Got an underage drink. Oh, Soco was such like a starter. I got... I know. It was bad on it so many times.
Starting point is 00:30:25 It's so sweet. It's so... Oh, there's... What if whiskey was... Soco lime? Yep. Oh, I had... Soco, you do Southern Comfort?
Starting point is 00:30:35 See, that's a man who loves how it tastes. No one all cuts the taste. It's like... It's like... Cuts it. It's like... Cuts it good. Because we would do Southern Comfort, Amoretto in one.
Starting point is 00:30:45 and put it all together. And then that cuts that whiskey like that in your nose, like biting feeling that Southern Comfort has. We used Coca Cola. There you go. Yeah. And put it in. Cicola. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Lime was crucial no matter what. With Southern Comfort and you had to have lime. It just tasted awe. It like, when you said Southern Comfort, my stomach flipped, but not like the upper part of my stomach, like my deep bowels where it was like this is like a sickness. Yeah, that's where it sits. It's not where it sits.
Starting point is 00:31:14 It's not where it sits. It's where it pools. It's like a sewer system and it just leaks out into like the rest of your body and your poison forever. Yeah, it does. Imagine that doing it at the playground and then getting on the swings. Yep. We're drunk. Oh, hell yeah, I'm drinking all this other comfort and I'm swinging as hard as I can.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Dude, just be able to throw it up below the way. How far can you get it to go? That's when you would just throw up and then go, oh, man. I feel great. Cool. And then go back to drinking and I think about that now and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:31:48 that sounds like a punishment. Yeah, that's what it's like for the people doing jackass. The jazz movie now or it's like you can't bounce back like that anymore. You throw up and you're like,
Starting point is 00:31:56 I'm out of commission. I need 24 hours. Take me to hospital. Fuck. Wow. We get to camp a trial and it's like, eat this scoop slop.
Starting point is 00:32:06 And I was like, I've been here before. The noise was so fucked. Oh, that was so great. Oh, that was so great. It was good. And the final fact, the votes are in from Taco Bell's global taco vote launched last week. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:32:21 An India's butter chicken taco will appear on the U.S. menu as a limited time offer later this year. Who cares because the only vote that mattered was the Wendy's Bring It Back Brackett where our heroes rallied you to vote and get the pretzel pub back. So any day now, we assume it must be right around the corner soon, probably, right? Yeah. Maybe you'll be out this Friday like that one guy thought. He's like, I'm gonna get it on. I'm gonna get it when I'm something, something after work on Friday.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Yeah, like, oh, you're talking about. He's just showing up with the wind he's like, I heard the bristle pumps back. Pretzel pumps back, right? I saw they won the pole. What the fuck are you talking about? Pole? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:01 What are you talking? No way. Anybody knows what the hell that. I just work here. Right. I just work at the large, large frosty. Four? Four.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Ah! That guy going to. they get that and them not knowing what he's talking about is my nightmare of the show and going and just going like, I don't know what that is. It's like, oh. I saw this, there was nothing really enticing on this Taco Bell vote that they had. No, no, it was a bunch of little tacos.
Starting point is 00:33:27 I mean, I think we should get it when it comes out. I'm sure it'll be okay. Because it out Friday. Finally. With the pretzel pub? You know, big day. We get both the same time. Chicken pretzel taco.
Starting point is 00:33:42 I'll say. That's, we do the. double, not the triple. Mentioning one more, not that much, Lola. One too many. It was. It's three. It's two. You know numbers?
Starting point is 00:33:52 Three of what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter. It's a basic question. It's a multiplication number. Three plus two equals five. Yeah. You have five dollars.
Starting point is 00:34:02 There's just too much. There's not too much of a certain thing. So I don't need to know what the thing is. Don't talk to him like he's on your side. It's a multiplication number is what he said. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Times two times three.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Get it. More. Normal, too much, less, too much more normal. Three times one is three. Two times one is two. What are you getting? What do you not? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:27 All right, now that we said Eric straight. Straight for the moon. It's funny because that was that guy's wife. The guy game. Irish car bomb A least offensive Right, three Oh man
Starting point is 00:34:52 Gracie just texted us something Oh really? Let's see It's a picture She said she was going to the movies And she said a picture of Nicole Kidman She is at AMC She's at the AMC
Starting point is 00:35:03 Yeah, and it's her talking about How movies are magic That's right I've seen that Did you get a pretzel? I asked, we'll see They probably have pretzel nuggets She's not at Alamo
Starting point is 00:35:13 She can't look at her phone. No. No, you can't. You can look at your phone at regular movie theaters too. It's fine. They just encourage you to Alamo. The only place.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, Alamo is the only place that tells you technically tells you to do it now. Like really, truly, every other movie theater is like, hey, silence your phones. Alamo is the only movie theater telling you, hey,
Starting point is 00:35:32 you can be on your phone a little bit if you want. Use your phone. I think Cinemark you can order to your. Really? Yeah, I think so. I think for Cinemark,
Starting point is 00:35:42 what they had was when you can order ahead of time when you're buying the tickets and they're gonna have it delivered to your seat but it's not for when you get there it's like when you're buying the movie ticket I think okay but what if they may have changed that but what if I want it in the middle of everything
Starting point is 00:35:57 yeah and then also I want to go on Instagram for me let me see if I can find this real quick I saw a great comment for the Alamo episode we just did uh huh and it's like it I was kind of wanted to maybe read this for people who don't yeah
Starting point is 00:36:12 like I've been to Alamo or whatever. Because granted, I don't want people to think, on that Alamo episode, we railed on it, like we rail on everything. That was so, like, a hundred percent true. And like, what we were talking about, how like, no, no, for real, it's not just like, we popped in and it sucks. It's like, this place was awesome.
Starting point is 00:36:27 We've gone there for, I've gone over a decade. Like, it was really cool. And it's like, even if I can't explain all the cool shit, it's all gone now, and it just sucks. And like, it's just like, it really blows. And someone left a comment on Instagram. He said it's from Ashen slash someone who worked it out.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Alamo for seven years. Everything you guys are saying in this episode is so fucking spot on. I spent a lot of my life working there and seeing it crash and burn like this hurts. Yes. It truly sucks. I mean, especially it truly sucks. Like outside the like yuck yuck of this show like they ruined it and I'm mad. Yeah. I'm mad that my kids will never get to go
Starting point is 00:36:59 to cool Alamo. They did it for such like obviously cost cutting reasons. It's like well I mean we if we just like make everyone order on their phone we can cut so much staff. Yeah. Yeah. And now three people work at the Alamo. Did you ever get help the button.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, finally. Crazy. But like, did we post that picture? Yeah, no, that's the thing is that it was, it was a cool place to work because you got to watch a lot of movies. Working to movie theater. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:25 It was working to movie theater. You got to watch a lot of movies, but then like the food and the running, you talk to people and it's like, it wasn't a bad job. Even someone who didn't work there and went there, it very much like was a real life version of you watch like a movie or a sitcom and it's like, oh, like, hanging out of that place. That's what it felt like to go there. And the food was really good.
Starting point is 00:37:43 it wouldn't be like, hey, do you want to go to the movies? It's like, oh, we're going to Alamo. That meant something, right? Like, oh, we're going to Alamo. Dude, there was one summer. What movie do you want to see when we get to Alamo? Yeah. There was one summer where we were going, like,
Starting point is 00:37:55 ruined it. Every Friday we had a group of people, and every Friday there was a new movie coming out, we'd see it, and then we would walk outside and, like, Congrate, like in the corner just outside, and we would talk about the movie. Sometimes you'd get stopped in the lobby, and there's like phase two as the outside.
Starting point is 00:38:08 And then it's like, some people have to go home and wrap up, and everyone's just like, okay, and then they stop again. this and then like the circle reformed. And then you're like, finally goodbye. And then you're walking the same direction. Yeah. Goodbye.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Alamo was a thing when I moved here and like my parents came out and visited to like see everything or whatever. It was a thing. It was a thing. You got to see me. I was like, we have to go to Alamo. Like you've been to movies. This is different in a cool way.
Starting point is 00:38:37 And my dad thought it was awesome. He's like, I mean a cheeseburger at the movies. And a good cheeseburger. Like a good one. Yep. Not to make this last episode still. I'm fine with it. I just want to bring it up.
Starting point is 00:38:51 I appreciate it the comments that are like that. People are totally understood. I feel like people understood. There is an alternative. I was talking to you about this before the movie. Yeah. Just giving you the mandatory side of it. Yeah, Flicks Brewinghouse.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Where like even their website kind of looks like Alamo. Yes. They have the same branding. Yeah. And like color scheme. I have not gone. It's like up and round rock. It's like,
Starting point is 00:39:15 it's like, but if it's a reliable comp, it wasn't as good as Alamo, but like it's probably better than Alamo now. Like honestly, I was there a couple times. I would try. Okay, let's go.
Starting point is 00:39:28 What do you want to see, Beekeeper two? I mean, is that way we're seeing that. We have to see Beekker two far from now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exit nine.
Starting point is 00:39:35 There's, here making the sequel. Okay. I have not thought about exit eight once since we like left that movie. I thought about it, because I brought it up, I was hanging out with some friends, and I said, I was telling him that we went and saw this movie.
Starting point is 00:39:48 I was like, oh, we saw X-A-8. And they were like, we just saw that. Really? What? They were the only other people that saw it? That's so exciting. Yeah. What did they think about the rats?
Starting point is 00:39:57 We all, it was funny, we had the same exact opinion. I was just like, I think they had played the game. So, like, that's how they wanted to see it. And they really liked the concept. But, like, it was like, they stretched out a little too much. Like, not enough material to make a 90-minute movie. The only time I thought about or talking about it since was right here when Alfreder and I did a podcast. And I told them about it.
Starting point is 00:40:21 And I was just like, it's just too long. Yeah. It's too long. It's just really stretching. It's just everything we said. We talked about it last time, but I keep like thinking about Nick getting mad at the movie and telling the guy to turn around with his feet, Gracie style up on his seat. Yeah, right. He was tough.
Starting point is 00:40:41 He was tough. Just the case. He was simply tucked. Look at this one mosquito bite. What the fuck? That is a mosquito bike. I have like, I have like 10 of this. That thing is huge.
Starting point is 00:40:49 I know. It's like, it's like driving me nuts. That's crazy. We're camping. Nowhere. I'm standing outside. Oh, you're not supposed to do that.
Starting point is 00:40:56 First mistake. Yeah. Drive me nuts. I have like, it's like ones in the ankles, like right in the socks. And then it's like in the, right in the calf.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Terrible. I have like, like, it's all the moving parts. It's in the shit out of it. Hey, Jordan, we can't just talk about Alma. We got talk about Taco Bell and what we got.
Starting point is 00:41:11 If you insist. One thing I did want to say is we mentioned Wendy's here. They have flipped in my mind so much than starting the show. Taco Bell was the impetus of the show. And it was like, Taco Bell, why would you ever eat it there? I look forward to Taco Bell. Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Now it has risen and ascended. And Wendy's, which I used to put high on the pedestal, is now seepage in the septic tank. Seapid in the septic tank. That's good. It's the Southern Compt. It's the southern comfort of fast food. It's not even like how did Wendy's fall? It's just like how under the watchful eye of Yum brands did Taco Bell ascend beyond everything else?
Starting point is 00:41:50 Yeah, it's like a real like they overcame Yum brand. I'm trying to think of a comp of like something that like overcomes Yum broke out from like an oppressive like corporate structure. You know it's like how are they having so so much success? It's like we're trying not to be noticed. Yeah. Yeah. They're doing like the Alamo over there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Man, fucking crazy. But here's what we ate. This is the triple double two times three. Three times one. Two times one and two times one. Crunch wrap. The triple double crunch wrap is the one.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Fans never stop asking for. Really? First introduced in 2016, the cult favorite returns in its signature build stacked higher asterisk with seasoned beef, warm nacho cheese sauce and crunchy to stodas shells, then wrapped in a grilled tortilla with a cool, reduced fat, sour cream. Lettuce and tomatoes sealed into its iconic hexagon form. Where's the aster? So what is triple?
Starting point is 00:42:47 Not, hold on. Crunch wrap. Fans. Signature build. That's three. Double is two toastata shells. So what? They just added another layer.
Starting point is 00:43:01 Like, it's another layer. Right. That's the double. So what's the triple is your question? The one I've been asking. and he keeps saying it's multiplication. He isn't,
Starting point is 00:43:11 he doesn't need to know what it is, he wants more, the double would be if they put meat on both sides of the toastata shell. They do not currently. It's on one side.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Just put it on both. Put it on both. He wants more and just not that much. It's not that hard. What are you getting? What are you? So it's beef
Starting point is 00:43:29 to know what the hell the multiplication is. I know. He's just right. So it's beef, toastat a shell. Uh-huh. Beef,
Starting point is 00:43:36 tostata shell. Beef? Not in this one. That's... It would be... It would be the double double. You're describing a triple double. That's what this is.
Starting point is 00:43:48 And that's what this is. And that's what this is. And that's what this is. You wrote yourself in a corner on that one. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Somebody just face-plated right at the finish line. Uh-oh. Everyone's passing him. Everyone's stepping on him. Uh-oh. You don't need the extra toast hot, I'm saying. I can't help you anymore Yeah, Nick
Starting point is 00:44:13 Nick was like Wiley Coyote and he was holding the stick of dynamite The problem with the crunch rap supreme is normally they don't have enough meat to begin with So I'm saying you take the meat On one side, add it to the other side You don't need two tistadas
Starting point is 00:44:28 And then everything else is just as it is More not this That's that made sense Right, but I'm not asking I'm not asking what Nick wants out of it. Right. That's never one time. Never once has that been my question. Yeah. I'm asking what is the triple? Right. It's the three sides. What are the three sides? On other sides of the tostata. You got one, then the middle of the two tostadas, and then the third one. But you just told me that's what it's not. And then you told me that's what it's? That's not what it would be. You're taking the ingredients and not the structure. He's describing the structure. I asked about the structure. It's beef tostata, beef toastata, beef, beef and you said no. No, it's not that though. Hey, if this is entertaining,
Starting point is 00:45:13 make sure you leave a comment. It's beef toastata, beef tostata, ask for more math talks. George, let's go down here. So what's triple? That is the triple. How? How is that three layers to it? What? Beef toastata, beef toastata,
Starting point is 00:45:31 everything is three. What? What? That's three. Beef? Help me! Look, beef? Think of it this way. I'm not helping.
Starting point is 00:45:44 I don't care about you. You just need a, beep, and then we'll come back to the show. That's really help. I just want to be clear. Beef, take out of the Joe's title. Think about it this way. Beef, beef, other ingredients.
Starting point is 00:45:56 That's three. That's the triple. Wait. What do you mean, wait? What do you mean? You don't get to say wait. You're just as guilty as him because you keep trying to get him
Starting point is 00:46:07 to give you an answer that pleases you. And it's never going to happen. Exactly. In fact, you should have just got with my joke answer at first. But instead, you decided to go into it. Yeah, about that. I was with him on that.
Starting point is 00:46:18 That was with me. And then we started going, no, explain exactly what you mean. And I was like, all right, I'm out of this. And we could have left it. I don't care. No, I want you to list ingredients. You had to know. He's not going to be able to list the ingredients.
Starting point is 00:46:29 There was not much thought put into this when we started making these jokes. Now you're asking for substance. There was never any substance. There was no substance. It was a triple double. Oh, wow. What's the next one, Jordan? Taco Bell is turning it up a notch.
Starting point is 00:46:47 The brand's iconic nacho fries are getting a sweet heat remix with the debut of Zab's chicken ranch nacho fries. A limited time topped fries experience. Not an op, not a menu thing. It's an experience. That features Zab's quote,
Starting point is 00:47:05 St. Augustine-style sauce combined with Taco Bell's fan favorite spicy ranch. The collaboration marks Taco Bell's first ever. Datil, pepper, hot sauce partnership, hitting menus April 16th. Is Dotteel friends with Zab and Bulldog?
Starting point is 00:47:23 Yeah, that's like their overlord. Like they have to report back. You know how Zim has like the tallest? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Datteel's the tallest. Datteel is the tallest. Nick kept going, what's the Zab? Why?
Starting point is 00:47:35 I don't know why he doesn't know what Zabs is. You gave him a great bite. Well, he didn't, well, that was before that. And I was going to say, there's a really good clip of us trying out that Zabbs nacho fries. I gotta give it up for Nick going all the way in that video, man.
Starting point is 00:47:50 He didn't really have a choice. I give it up to Nick for accepting it and not bailing on it. Oh man, it was pretty good. He did. He didn't bite down too soon. Dude, it was pretty good. It was, wow.
Starting point is 00:48:04 It was pretty good. That's how you were supposed to eat it. Yeah. That's how you're supposed to eat the fries. That's how Bulldog would want you to eat Zabs that way. Zab is. like gur. Yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Yeah. And then. So Bulldog is like Zim. Yeah. And the teal's the tallest. And then Zabs is GER. And then the teals is the tallest. Got it. Okay. And then we need the paranormal investigator kid. I think he's just be Nick. I mean, it's fine. Nick can just do it.
Starting point is 00:48:32 He's a size kid wearing a sauce monkey head. They're aliens. No one at school likes them. It all makes sense. It's fine. What are you talking about? Hey, it's feet kid. Yeah. Oh, no. We're going to get good fan art from this episode.
Starting point is 00:48:49 You need to get on the Discord. Dude, you need to get on the Discord. You need to get on the Discord. It's going to look like, uh, it's going to look like an Invader Zim characters. It's going to be great. It's going to be awesome. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. Mm. View. And enjoy. Via Rail.
Starting point is 00:49:11 Love the way. All right, here's the press. There's the press material. We're always exploring partnerships that can bring a different kind of flavor experience to our menu. And collaborating with Zabs delivered exactly that, said Liz Matthews, alien. I mean, global chief food innovation. Taco Bell. Together we create a new take on ranch for Taco Bell, colon, creamy, balanced, and layered with a sweet heat thanks to the inclusion of the datil pepper that adds a whole new dimension to nacho fries.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Do you feel like it added a whole new dimension to nach fries? I mean, it tasted different. This is the sauce on the fries? I think this might be a little extreme. Yeah, I didn't notice. The price sucked. It just tasted like, you know, something was there. I couldn't itemize it.
Starting point is 00:49:58 If you for some reason were to ask me, what are the layers? I couldn't tell you. Don't ask me. Don't ask. Is this Zabs work? I'm detecting hints of Zab. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is Dutteal all the way.
Starting point is 00:50:08 You can tell. We did try the nuggets. They have like these new dusted, like, Chipotle nuggets or something like that. They were Diablo dusty. Yeah. Yeah, no, they were not Chipotle. That comes with a bell sauce.
Starting point is 00:50:22 That, man, I really like that bell sauce. It's very smoky and sweet. A little sweet. It was very smoky. Yeah. It was no detal, but, you know, I liked it. No. You guys like Earthbound.
Starting point is 00:50:31 To smoke more than I do, but it was a good sauce. How was the jalapeno honey mustard? I didn't try that. That one was mostly honey mustard. Yeah. Yeah. No, I just had no interest in trying that with that company.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah, I looked at it and was like, it's just regular honey mustard. Give it a spicy ranch or the jalapeno. And then I saw jalapeno honey mustard. Like, I'll give this a try. It was just honey mustard. Yeah. Those, the nuggets pretty good. The nuggets I'd go back for. Yeah. Again, not part of this review necessarily, but like, man. The nuggets I've been saying since they ever came out, they're great.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Like, they're really good. They're talking about how they had to dial it in the first one you had. They burned them a little bit. But that was it. They're like really juicy, like real chicken meat. And the dust was very good. Yeah. Yeah. To me, getting that as part of a meal at Taco Bell
Starting point is 00:51:13 where you're gonna get like one or two other like small things and then like a 10 piece nugget, that's a fun little side tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big though. They're a 10 piece of nugget. It's not like a 10 piece McDonald's nugget. No, getting 10 of those is like big ass nugget. It's pretty good chicken. It was pretty sizable. You did that and then like, I don't know that you
Starting point is 00:51:29 get the triple double crunch wrap with it, but like what's in that? Yeah, what's triple about it? Should we? Can't believe you went back. Can we? Don't know. Don't know. Let me know in the comments. Most fly. Wow! We have our review...
Starting point is 00:51:47 And then we come back? Of talk about... But we need to hear from you in a segment we call you review! First one, very short. Other two, very long. So how do you guys want to do it? I'll take the short one and figure out the rest. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:02 This is from J.N. Okay. He says, or they say, slow as balls. They ignore their dying in customer orders over the DoorDash orders. Kiosk menu had several items missing. I'm so hungry. I've been waiting here.
Starting point is 00:52:18 25 minutes. Oh, like us. Yeah. Putting it is so hungry. I'm so hungry in the middle of the review while you're waiting for it. I'm so hungry. He's just,
Starting point is 00:52:30 he was probably sitting where we were. Like, you're looking at the counter and he just sees all these door dash people walking in and getting their food and leaving. He's just like, I'm so hungry. Wish I had some food. I wish I had my dirty soda. Must be nice.
Starting point is 00:52:42 He also like. I got a basic question. Where's my food? Oh, I thought you were going to ask, can I have $5? Can I have my $5 back? Yeah. I'm not saying they never, like,
Starting point is 00:52:54 some places don't ever do this because, sure, it depends on like, whether it's driving or this or that or whatever. But I think overwhelmingly, when people go, they're ignoring their dining customers or door, it's like, do you have no idea how that system works?
Starting point is 00:53:07 Do you think they have all that shit on a computer and the computer tells them what to make and what order and what has to get ready and one number. Like they sit there and go, hey, who's next? Fuck you. And then they just go make something else.
Starting point is 00:53:17 I think the issue is that sometimes it can be confusing when they put the bag out and it's facing the wrong way. Right. So curious little monkeys. So curious little monkeys need to go and see and touch the food and make sure that none of it's ours.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Touch the bag. And then put it right back where it was. Almost right back. We were making the joke as the bag was up there. First of all, I made the joke. I was like, hey, that could be ours, knowing it wasn't. No, because it's way too small.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Yeah, he knew it wasn't also. Yeah, but he had to be true. But the name on it was facing away, like the thing. So then he went over there, he turned to like, look, came back over. It's like, it wasn't us. It's like, oh, it's not for us, it's whatever. And I go, well, I mean, you look, you didn't just spin it around while they were there. So like, whoever's food it is, you save them the trouble and not having them.
Starting point is 00:54:08 And he went, well, no, I left it, so they never know. And I'm like, mm, okay. well, if that was it, you did, because now it's moved at like a 45 degree angle. And he was, oh. So then he went and put it back. Like, fixing the 45th degree angle. He pushed it away back to what it was. Right, instead of just committed.
Starting point is 00:54:24 He used to go away from us. No one would know. No one would know. Then what's funny is those girls that were waiting for food, at some point, eventually they went up. They were looking at the bag. Literally because he didn't flip her up. They were like, and they touched the back and looked at it.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Also wasn't their food. Dude. Fang's food got all fucked up. Dang. It's fucked up. Oh, dude. Slowest balls. You want to do this one, Mike?
Starting point is 00:54:46 I'll do this one, sure. Christian F says, Oh, a follower. Just had one of the worst experiences in my fast food career. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. As an eater?
Starting point is 00:54:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it looks like the career is going there, not working there. We'll see. I went here for lunch. Okay. I got online and ordered the Lux craving box and 10 chicken nuggets
Starting point is 00:55:10 with a zero mountain dew Baja blast. Uh-oh. After getting to the window, I waited a while before the gentleman handled my drink and food. First of all, the drinks looked like basically water with a little coloring in it, so I already knew this drink would be bad.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Then I noticed the box that the Lux Craving's meal came in wasn't even folded correctly, which was odd and a little concerning. Okay, hold on. I drove back to work to eat. When I sat down to open the bag slash box, I noticed that the food wasn't even warm, rather cold.
Starting point is 00:55:38 This guy works at Samsung. I opened the box for the, the 10 chicken nuggets and immediately noticed all 10 of them were burnt to a crisp. Oh no. So now my drink is bad. I have burnt nuggets. How can it get worse? Tell me. Can they seriously go? Oh, and three? Yep.
Starting point is 00:55:52 I opened the half closed box and a bit into a taco and immediately spit out the food. The meat or something else tasted nasty like chemicals. All together, my lunch was ruined and I wased at $22. Never coming to this terrible location again. $22. I believe everything.
Starting point is 00:56:08 He sold me on the burnt nuggets. It's really hard to have plausible deniability when like this is a lot of stuff. It's like bird nuggets. Like I know that. Like drink. Nick's like, I know that. Oh,
Starting point is 00:56:20 it kind of tastes like chemicals like antifreeze. Uh-oh. Oh. Oh. I was going to say, that's just what their meat tastes like. It sucks that in your fast food career, this is something that you have to do.
Starting point is 00:56:31 What a tough. As a professional eater. It's tough stretch. It's tough. Hey, you know, it's about getting out there and just giving it you're all. Dude,
Starting point is 00:56:38 we all have slumps. Yeah. You just got it. go out there and give it your best. Every meal's a new opportunity. Hit your way out of it. Yep. Yep.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Oh, what if they have the yips? You didn't forget how to eat. Yeah. Well, the most concerning thing, though, is, and this isn't their fault. It's just you might have been able to save, you know, your food. Is he already had concerns before he left.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Based on like the full, yes. To me, every time it's like, certainly way I left drove away and opened up later. And I was right. Like, confirm your suspicion there. I'm just saying you could have like, you're just driving down the street to Samsung.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Yeah. It's still, It's still your fault. You're eating at the soccer fields. I don't. I disagree. Meet up soon. I think.
Starting point is 00:57:15 You're right. He got laid on. I think this guy was, I think this guy was drunk getting his food and driving back to the school. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Where he puts in the work. That's a clock in, clock out, you know? This whole name location we went to?
Starting point is 00:57:27 Yeah. This one was not, no. Oh. Weird that they had all the same problems. Interesting. All right. Who wants to do the last one? I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Okay. Okay. Go for it. It's to me already sounds like the voicemail. You're gonna like this part. You're gonna like this one. This is from Courtney B. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Why do I keep going to this chain? You know why? Because I have a 13 year old boy. Okay. Because I have a 13 year old 13 year boy old. That's what it says. That's what it says. Who likes getting bubble guts.
Starting point is 00:57:58 I also have a 13 year boy old who likes getting bubble guts. I mean, I don't like it. I like to talk about that gives me bubble gut. For sure. For sure. You like the before. I went to this location yesterday to get my son some food to
Starting point is 00:58:13 sustain him before dinner after his school activities. I actually went inside this location and ordered as opposed to going through the drive-thru to avoid missing items not getting a receipt or getting the wrong order, etc. But guess what happened anyway?
Starting point is 00:58:29 What happened? What happened? What happened? I ordered five items, two Doritos tacos, two burrito supremes. Locos. Oh. They didn't say it. I'm just yelling at her. Sorry, that's that's, that's, It sounded like a correction. Not for you.
Starting point is 00:58:42 I'm very sorry. I am merely Jordan. I am reading Courtney's words. I too. You embodied her too much. I'm sorry. Yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 00:58:54 Brito's Locos. All right. Jesus Christ. Two burrito superiors, apostrophe, yes. All that for my son. And a salad for myself. Which, by the way, this is before dinner?
Starting point is 00:59:04 You're getting this. I don't understand the before taco meal. A little pre-dinner treat. Before I left the establishment, I looked in the bag and noticed I was missing one of the burritos. When I noticed this, I advised the cashier of such. He looked at me oddly, like a dog when it hears a dog whistle. He just goes. Like a dog in a dog way.
Starting point is 00:59:27 He, Arf, he said. And then inspected the bag while rummaging through it. Like some sort of nick man. While this may not be an unusual experience for me. it was. This is why. Oh my God. Why are you writing like this? Step one. I got the bag with the food and within one minute of getting the order while
Starting point is 00:59:46 standing at the counter, I advised the cashier the burrito was missing. Step two. The cashier questions me. Step two, A. I'm thinking, why question me? Who am I? David Copperfield? How did I make an item disappear from inside the bag
Starting point is 01:00:05 into oblivion in less than a minute while standing at the counter? I just can't with you Taco Bell clowns. Okay, listen, if this is her home, that was crazy. That was crazy. What the, what was the resolution? I just, she probably got her food. She didn't say they gave me nothing.
Starting point is 01:00:21 She didn't get some food and then they looked at your bag to make sure and then they gave you the food problem. I made the burrito disappear and then turned him into a dog. I also like, I fully believe they said like, hey, what did you get? What did you get? I'm sure they said, hey, what did you get? And they looked in the bag. And that's it. And now went, and she went, oh, you think I stole it?
Starting point is 01:00:44 It's like, I feel like you're projecting all of that. I'm sure. And this is like, I don't know. In front of my 13 boiled. This is crazy for me. It's like, oh yeah, anytime I have a fucked up order, I'll just like easily just hand them everything. You figure it out and give it back to me. See what's missing.
Starting point is 01:00:58 She got, I assume in the end she got the food. Yeah, because she would have said something. I need my dinner before my school activity. Just on. Yeah. Her boy year old. I hope that her 13 year old could. get bubble guts from this.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Bubble guts, dude. I forgot about bubble guts. No one wants bubble guts. What do you mean to her 13 year boy old wants bubble guts? That's horrible. That's what she says. He wants, he likes two Doritos tacos,
Starting point is 01:01:24 two turritos. Locos! Two Doritos tacos, two burrito superiors. Before dinner? Yeah. Before dinner. He's doing his school activities. He's got to get a little bit of bubble guts just to get him going.
Starting point is 01:01:34 Yeah. It tickles. Yeah. He's got the soap. He has the Soco later. He's got a little. The drive-up window or the walk-up window is for him. Man.
Starting point is 01:01:48 I'll be honest, the most annoying part about that was how fucking long that was and the way she wrote that. Yeah. Like that was, could not have been dragged out. Right, question me. Who am I? David Copperfield, step two A. Shut up. Oh my God. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 01:02:01 All the thing about your son is irrelevant. That is nothing to do with the goddamn complaint. I went to talk about this is what I ordered. This is what happened. No one cares about your fucking 13-year-old son. And his bubble guts. If you can, Rewind this episode on YouTube to watch Michael after he says,
Starting point is 01:02:20 who am I, David Copperfield? Because he just goes, uh-huh, yeah. We're laughing at a half this lady. You fucking hated it. Yuck,
Starting point is 01:02:29 yuck. You know what? It's because it's like, that was at that point, when I, oh, you're just like this, you're that person.
Starting point is 01:02:35 And I knew people like that. Like, you have comments like that for everything. Yeah. Like, it's not funny even if it made sense. because it doesn't make sense. Like you in your head decided like,
Starting point is 01:02:44 what did I steal it? Oh, that'd be funny. Oh, if I stole it, where would it go? Oh, David Copperfield, that's a relevant person. I'm a little bit of a creative writer, me thanks. You know, you know, kids, David Copperfield. My 13-year-boy-old wants bubble guts, and I am a creative writer. Welcome to my substack.
Starting point is 01:03:01 This is fucked. Stupid. Well, those are your reviews. You did this. Holy moly. Yeah. And we have our review of Taco Bell's triple, Dired me,
Starting point is 01:03:09 double crunch wrap and Zab's Nacho fries Jordan. I wish we had more chicken nuggets left. Yeah. Chicken nuggets
Starting point is 01:03:16 ultimately again. Those chicken nuggets. I would say I'm fine with lumping it into this because it is a limited time thing. I'm going to give a non-canon score just for the chicken nuggets on their own.
Starting point is 01:03:26 And that score is going to be in the 87. 87 for the nugs. Yeah. Those were good. Okay. They were the best part. Unfortunately, and not being part of
Starting point is 01:03:35 the rest of the official canon review. You love the other items. I knew that the thing was going to be a problem immediately. The crunch wrap came out and it was It was not Jordan was not happy. I'm holding it in the package And it's like sagging in the whole
Starting point is 01:03:51 It had no structural integrity. Yeah. It was not up to code. You gotta like hold the whole thing. Like you have to maintain the entire thing As you eat it and it never like gets easier. It's never like oh as you eat it you can move down or whatever. No. In fact, I don't eat them. You have to like claw grip the crunch wrap and just kind of like spin it.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Like you have to eat them like that. Mine was already kind of unfolding. Uh-huh. Underneath. And so like the center was exposed. I was like, okay, let me hold it together. And then as I was eating it, just like two or three bites, it started splitting in half. You had to fold it to like make it work?
Starting point is 01:04:25 I don't understand. Like, I don't get how it was supposed to be bigger and better. And the thing was like not closed. Absolutely no crunch. No, zero. You're getting a crunch wrap forward. It's right in the name. If you watch it.
Starting point is 01:04:37 the ride along, you can hear how crunchy. They're so crunchy. My drink was strange and crunchy. Yeah. This is pretty nuts. I also, Taco Bell, Taco Bell with their crunchy, I will say. They're crunchy anything.
Starting point is 01:04:48 You have a limited window to eat that before it's crunchy. That even like, I'm not even defending them, but like that crunch could have been way better if we didn't wait 25 minutes and then drive all way back here and get it. Man, that's a good point. That's like, if I ever get crunchy it's a taco, I eat immediately. First thing you got to eat the crunchy taco right away. Don't, don't exist.
Starting point is 01:05:06 I don't think any of this. Taco Bell necessarily traveled well either. Like, no. The crunch wrap was toast by the time we got it back here. I think the chicken nuggets traveled quite well. You're right. Those nuggets did okay. Those fries definitely didn't travel well. Sog city. Sog city? Cold city.
Starting point is 01:05:21 Yeah. Yeah. Burr. Where am I, Chicago? Turn the wind down. Who am I, John Chicago? Yeah. They were cold. They were soggy. You can't be writing this stuff down. Even the, um, John Chicago is the dip. Like, I really like their,
Starting point is 01:05:44 uh, their nacho fries. But what makes them good is like how they have them and the dust and like the crunchiness or whatever. And they just come like that and you could dunk them in the cheese. They just took those and it's like, but what if we put a bunch of shit on top of it? And it's going to make it soggy.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Make it impossible to pick up as well. Right. It's going to be soggy cold because we drove here. But then also none of it stays on. I hate that. You hate that about every time we do like, like an animal style, whatever. There's never a fry you can grab.
Starting point is 01:06:09 It's when the ingredients aren't actually thought through to like coat the fry and just like would just throw it on top. And it's like cool, so you pick up the fry and there's nothing on it. That's what that is like. Where they're just bits and pieces of shit.
Starting point is 01:06:22 So sometimes you just got to grab it and put it in the next mouth. And you did it. Sometimes you just want some buy. Yeah. I'll tell you what, when I did it that way, it was the best bite you had. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:33 You have to just smash it all. I told Eric, after that. You need to take like a potato smasher. Smash all that shit up, eat with a spoon. Then the flavor might be pretty good, but not the way they're selling it.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Nope. Yeah. So this is a pretty disappointing effort from Taco Bell, who's usually the oasis in the desert, but not today. Just as bad as everything else. It's a 45. 45.
Starting point is 01:06:54 And it's fair. I'm also not like a big crunch rat person in general. I think like so many other things are better than that there. And they're just weird shape. Pain in the ass. Hexagons? Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Triple and double? Who can make sense of it? I'm actually really glad though, especially after Alamo and some like real heinous shit. For Taco Bell, I'm like, yeah, this like really sucked. Yeah. I wouldn't recommend it. 52. Okay.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Right. Like that, I was like, oh, because it's still like actually pretty decent. Keep in mind, you gave Alamo a three. Yeah. And I feel like that was, I'm okay with that. So that's 48.5 for the triple double crunch wrap. and these Zabbs, nacho fries. But Jordan gave the nuggets in 87.
Starting point is 01:07:39 What would you non-canon score give those nuggets? 90. 90. 90. Which might even be lower than I did. You gave them the original? I don't know. I don't care.
Starting point is 01:07:47 I'd still go for the year. It's a new thing every day. Yep. That would have been an 88.5. Those were fucking good. They were really good. And the dust, like, the Diablo dust has a kick. It had a kick and it was really well-coded.
Starting point is 01:07:59 It wasn't like shitted on. We're like, where is it? It was like they were covered in it. You get two different dipping sauces. they gave us three, but like, we got the dipping sauces. They were fucking good. Because we didn't get the dirty sodas. That must have been it.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Hook us up. Hook us up. They wanted us to put the ranch in the soda. Oh, we don't have those. Oh, we don't have those. Oh, cool. I thought maybe you'd tell me that because we paid for them. Right.
Starting point is 01:08:18 You just thought we'd leave and then write a Yelp review, so I don't know. Like, whatever, I guess. Yep. Hey, that's our review of Taco Bell, but don't forget the anniversaries right around the corner. May 11th. See, you did it, Jeff's style. May 11th, the anniversary. That's right.
Starting point is 01:08:34 That is it. Yeah, we're celebrating April 1st. What the fuck? It was 20 years. It was 20 years of that. Yeah, it's the second year of this one, man. May 11th. Feels like the 20th.
Starting point is 01:08:46 We're going to have a whole week of stuff coming out on Patreon. That's right. Little angles. Especially me. Yes. Triple angels. That's right. Triple angels.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Triple double angels in the outfield? Whoa. We're dead. Yep. So you want to go to Patreon.com slash 100% eat to get all of that all that content
Starting point is 01:09:09 that we're going to be putting out the week of the anniversary. Car Captives is coming out. We're going to have all of Camp Betrayal. We have a lot of new ideas, a lot of cool stuff that's coming out really soon. Campitrail season two is coming out? Camp Betrayal season one with commentary
Starting point is 01:09:21 with Chris. That's pasta peevee. He's got like two monkey heads the next one is really funny. Yeah. This is his mounts. That's Patreon.com slash 100% eat
Starting point is 01:09:30 where you can also watch the Michael Jordan podcast. The last one, Coco's Bavarian, recommend. Go check it out. Yeah. And also go check out Coco's Bavarian.
Starting point is 01:09:38 Fucking fantastic. I can't remember where I put those cards. Uh-oh. Shit. Probably use them. 100% eat. For merch, streaming.com slash 100%
Starting point is 01:09:47 E. What he's doing? Look, it's a double-sided monkey head. This one tells truth. This one tells lies. Triple double monkey? Dried. Triple double monkey head?
Starting point is 01:09:55 Oh, no. No, just double. Uh. Yeah. And then throw one more. I knew that was going to happen I was worried about Jordan's water well I didn't know what's happened oh really how nice for once
Starting point is 01:10:11 triple double monkey how okay so you can follow us I guess I don't know why I'm putting you don't want to go in there do you you can follow us at 100% eat on Twitter Instagram and blue sky you look great you can see what we look like Nick you see where we're up to Patreon you're up to Patreon
Starting point is 01:10:27 Nick's having so much fun watching this Is this what it's like? Yeah! Oh! I didn't see anything. He doesn't. He doesn't. It happens all the time.
Starting point is 01:10:47 Jesus Christ. How did I make more money? This is great. Hey, if you want to send stuff to 100% treater to us, you can. P.O. Box 14.30, 3, 3,2, 41, Texas, 7714. That's Peelebox 14. 3, 241, Austin, Texas, 8, 7, 7, 7, 7, 1.4. It's up there, man.
Starting point is 01:11:06 It's so up today. Yep. Anything else? No, no, that's it, baby. Well, that's better. There you go. Now I can see. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:11:14 You fixed it. Oh, he just went at you. Rate subscribe, tell a friend about this show where we all become monkeys, triple double style. He'll kill you. Don't look at me again. Goodbye. Your eyes.

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