100% Eat - Calling Out Chapped Ass Gamer - KFC Ride Along

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

Mayor Mandani, you're invited to our live show on September 3. Anyway Nick didn't pick this and he's mad. He's so mad and petty, he quits. Check out Cheap Ass Gamer and don't eat at gas stations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So Jared's dead to me. Chapdass. Was he ever alive to you? Yeah. He called you a chappedas. He keeps trying to come up with a like a Nick ever like. I did. I did until he started calling out.

I know we live in Austin. We have better food. I don't go to fast food. I like how he didn't say it until he started talking shit. He said calling him out, which is accurate. Guys, I was going to read this because I think this is pretty interesting. Oh, okay.

If you're having an event in New York City or like to honor your personal organization for a significant achievement, you may request a mayoral greeting. Oh my god. Hey, you should request one. I feel like I should request one. I feel like I should, request a mayoral greeting.

Yeah, I mean, from a Reza. Ron Mondani. That bus was flying. I was looking it up to see if we could invite him to the live show. Yeah. At the very least, getting a greeting would be cool. Yeah. Maybe you can special request it in there. You should give a shout out to Gracie.

We should literally just ask what pretzels do you like? That's good. I bet he'd have an answer. Yeah. Yeah, but she's going to be like, who's that? I think she'd know. She's going to know anyone. It's gonna be Mayor Zordon. Uh-huh. Or a SpongeBob.

Well, especially. Oh, we should get a cameo from Tom Kenney. She doesn't know who that is. She has no idea. No, I bet she does. You think she knows who Tom Kenney is? She's never, she doesn't know who they are outside of that year of world. I don't know.

I think there's a chance. I think there's a chance. Normally I was absolutely not, but she's such a SpongeBob. She doesn't know what showed the voice of Patrick was on, like in the 70s or, Oh, coach? Or 80s, yeah. Well, I mean, you know.

I mean, that's like, that was like 50 years before she was alive. Right. Yeah, I'm not going to hold that one against her. Well, I'm just saying that's where the line is. Like, that's too far. Yeah, that's way too far. Just probably nowhere near that line. Yeah.

I think, do you know Tom Kenney would be the maximum the line would go. Do you know him? Do you happen to know any other voices he's done? He was the mayor in Powerpuff Girls. What's that? Yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite Mr. Show sketch?

I think it's very SpongeBob. Central with her. I don't think it really goes outside of that much at all. Spine problem in Glee. Right. True. I don't think Tom Kenney was on Glee very much. If Tom Kenny was on Glee though. What a bad. What a fuck, damn. Put a fork in her. She's done. So wait, so we're asking Zoron if he knows other shows Tom Kenney's done. Yeah. Ask him his favorite Mr. Fitt, his favorite Mr. Show sketch and what his favorite pretzel? is. Okay, got it. And then see if he wants to come to the show.

Yeah, God. I don't know. Why? What's this human doing? I don't know. Human? I assume they're human. This truck is just kind of making decisions. That's all right.

This is subhuman. It's okay. It's a short drive. Yeah, at least we're not driving all the way. Dude, someone clocked immediately when we posted the teaser for the Carl's Jr. episode. Yeah. And like, they googled where the Carl's Juniors were.

They're like, oh, they're going to be complaining about how far this It's not worth the drive. It's been relentless, too. I said today, like, oh my God, I was so happy how close this was. It's a treat. It's a rare treat. We started 30 minutes late and it's not affecting. No, no.

When Michael was like, oh, hey, I got to, like, we have to move it back like 30 minutes. Like, that's fine. This is close. Yeah, whatever, man. You know what fucking sucked about last week is that we were doing it Wednesday at 2 p.m. Yeah. Which is later than we usually do it.

And then before fucking, uh, heat stream. Yeah, which was flawless. So it was all yeah. Yeah, it was flawless stream. Oh, gotta love that, yeah, double-checked everything, dotted the eyes, crossed the T's. We did everything right. Yep, we did everything right. And the Discord was like, watch this. Yeah. Yeah, we'll just go down. But it also didn't admit to it at first. They tore down the Greyhound Depot. Oh no. Now we can go to the We're going to the gold gym all we want, Michael. Huh?

Huh? What? Yeah? Yeah? Let's do it, dude. Go to the Bus Depot. I'm feeling I'm going to be going to be golden. You can get a pink license plate?

Sure. You can get anything. You want one? You can get one. You can get anything? Oklahoma University on them in Texas. Doesn't make sense. That license plate said human ATX.

I thought so, too. Oh, what's this human doing? And now what Nick said made sense. Right. The car next to what it said subhuman. Wow. And he is. Look how slowly he's going. Chapped ass gamer.

Chapped ass gamer. He's getting his ass chab. Bring it back around. Bring it back. You ass chaper. Just because Jared from cheap ass gamer doesn't like your weird gas station food choices, doesn't mean you get to call him chapped ass game. No, that's not true because that's not the first time he's bristled. It's not the first time you picked gas station food.

Okay, well, that's fine. That part's fine. Whatever. So what's bothering you? Because he's bristled. before. He still brisdlisd. I don't think he dislikes Nick, just that Nick's choices and that we keep letting Nick right. Uh huh.

And frankly, I agree with it. Oh, sorry for good content. I mean, it's good content. You know, we can make good content without the food, like. Let's go ahead and just gonna put this down. Whoa, Nick's fucking, wow. Wow, this is done working. This is petty behavior.

Nick's, he's walking. He's walking. Hey, hey, hey, this is gonna make Jared like him more. He doesn't watch these. Yes, he does. He likes comments. He doesn't watch. He doesn't watch.

I watch for the rating, Chad. Oh my gosh. Put it at the start. Nick is mad and swinging wild. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Let's back up now. He truly is Bart just being like,

I'm going to walk out of the room and I'm going to be swinging my arms. Then if I hit you, that's your fault. That's your own fault. All right, Pye. I'm going to do. do this. If you get eaten,

it's your own fault. You got cookies. Does he bump into the cabinet? Yeah, he just got on the cabinet. He goes, ah, screw it. Needs a pie. I was watching a Simpsons guy. He kept getting him on TikTok.

And there's a Simpsons gag where Homer wants to join the stone cutters. And they say it's only two ways is to be like grandfathered in or to save a stone cutter's life. Oh, right. And he stops eat from like eating an omelette because has eggs and talking about cholesterol. And he's like, I see big eggs.

to you too. And then the egg, like, it's just like a guy in like an egg costume, but it has like a zipper in the back popping out from behind a door and he runs off, but it makes rat noises. And I never caught that before. And it was like, what the, yeah, like, what the fuck was, what was like the whole idea behind that? I don't know. Uh, it's, it's also the best part where it's like, the, all of the art in that era is so, like weird and like, wiggly. Yeah, like, what's it called Jordan where it's like, well? like moving and everything's like a little. There's like, there's a term for it that's called like a boiling line.

Like, which is like, but that's sometimes intentional where like, yeah, you're purposely like changing the outline every frame. I think that's just like. They go crazy with it in like the first season of home movies. Oh, that's squiggle vision. Yeah, squiggle vision, which was like what like, Squig City. Was it Dr.

Cat's or the critic? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was just. I don't think critic. We're not going to be animating these characters much. No. going to use this software that like makes them

scribble it like they have worms yeah ed and ed and eddie definitely used uh the boiling line effect where they were intentionally like changing the outline like on every frame basically to like just make the characters look more sketchy i feel like in like season three four or five of like the simpsons it's somebody moves in a direction but it's like this it's like this rubber follows after yeah it's like this rubber bandy like rubber kind of like looked to it and i think that's so cool god i love those seasons Oh, it's like, it's like Seth, like his after effect? Oh, that's right.

I don't know. It's, I seem as you're going to be. Yeah. Yeah, they don't really do that, like, type of animation anymore, especially, like, since they went, like, you know, it's all digital now. Right. But, like, that doesn't stop you from doing it. It's just, like, it's animated, like, they're real people and, like, founded by the laws of physics.

Yeah. It's not really a cartoon anymore. Bring back cartoons. The, like, they're making another Simpsons movie, right? They are. I think it comes up next year. Perfect. Striking why the iron is blazing hot.

Hey, the first one was 20 years too late. Second one, 20 years after that? Why not? Has it really been 20 years? Yeah, 2007. Wow. In fact, I don't know why I remember it so specifically. I think it was like,

um, but like today's the 28th of July. It came out July 27th. Holy shit. The 2007, back when the Pod Save of America guys were out there working for Obama. Yeah, working for Obama. And now 20 years later, talking about how actually this is what Obama would do.

Pretty cool guys, pretty cool. There, yep. So the name was ironic, I guess. Did they flip the script? Pod indeed not saving America. Pretty exciting. We should make a podcast that saves America. Was that the last one when they showed Bart's penis?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like it's all the blocking of it. That reverse joke. Yeah. Yeah. Or it's like the one part where it's like there was always something in front of

him. Yeah. And then finally they were blocking everything but his penis. Yeah, yeah. That movie was funny. And I feel like Spider Pig really took the world by storm if you were a child. Yeah, they needed something. Yeah. You know? And boy, like, I remember the ads for it were like interviewing people at the theater. Yeah. And everybody was going like, say, Spider Pig. Everyone was very in the Spider-Pig. That still pops in my head every once in a while, though. I don't know why. They nailed it. Good for them. Possibly my head. I think this is from the movie, too. Homer said something like, he's like going to the bathroom.

He's like, two shakes is fine, but three shakes you're playing with yourself. Or something like that. I think of that whenever I'm out of urinal. And I go, time to play. Was that the movie or an episode? I thought it was the movie, but I could be wrong. I thought it was a Green Day song. They're in the movie.

We might have based it on. I mean, they're definitely in an episode. Okay. They play on the... Except us. They play on the Polluted Lake or whatever. Where's our Simpsons episode? Yeah.

What the fuck? True. 100% Simpsons. If Lady Gaga can be on The Simpsons, we can be on the Simpsons. Hell yeah. Dude, Simpsify us. Yeah. They used to do the thing where...

Monkey Simpson would be awesome. Oh, that's pretty cool. I want to see that. Yeah. A famous person would play a character in The Simpsons. And then, like, the Simpsons got so big that it was like, here's a famous person in The Simpsons. Now it's like a variety show type of thing where it's like, oh, yeah, look, they're themselves.

Yeah. But usually, like, instead of Al Brooks playing like Hank Scorpio or whatever, where you go, that's the best character. But usually like a crazy person of themselves. Wasn't Patrick Stewart in the Stone Cutters episode? Yeah. No homos. Yeah, isn't he like the leader of the Stone Cutters? Yes, he is.

Yeah. I should go back and just watch like the first eight seasons. I mean, you know, you're doing a Gus style? You just put it on and you can leave out one. Gus sent me a website that you can basically just like create a giff out of any Simpson episode. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I was like, whoa, you've revealed your, like, secret because he's always got a Simpsons

gift for something. And I'm like, I don't know what to do with this. This is like almost too much. Right. Tower. Yeah. It's like me with like Gen Moji. Yeah. Oh, make sauce Monkey Simpsons. Yeah, there you got. Woo. Yeah. Have you

guys seen a lot of like the dummy leaks for the new Apple folding phone? No. Oh, are they? Are they Are they intentionally like Oh, well, making false stuff? No, no. So they can't tell?

They're the dummy phone so it's like the actual like look of it and everything. Right. But with no Apple logo to send a manufacturer so they can make like cases and stuff for it. And people are getting like their hands on it. And it's like you unfold it and it's the size of like an iPad mini. What? It is like. Too much.

It's fucking. What am I supposed to do with a folding phone? Too much. Fuck that noise. I can actually type again. I hate now though. That is true. I do hate the keyboard.

I hated the keyboard for like eight years. Typing on the phone and it's all I use anymore, man. Yeah. Like I'm like, even at home, because it's just like, I'm never doing it long enough. It's just forever. Yeah. It's like I gotta send one message for two seconds.

I'm not gonna pull up like a laptop or something. Yeah. But I'm doing that forever. Yeah. I hate that part. Oh, I could be susceptible to something like that. I'd rather take the time to- My first smartphone was a G1.

I think it was, it might have been made by Google. but it was like had a little track ball kind of a small screen but the screen would slide up and a full query keyboard underneath and not just like

also like a number row on top and it was so nice and I still think about that that was like the last time they ever included physical keyboard of any kind on a phone similar to that for me was the fucking

the Xbox 360 chat pad oh yeah The thing was so good. So good. Because it's like, I mean, you know, you send voice messages or you type. Back like when I was leaving on Xbox Live and that's like what I used. It's like communicated with people. I just like all my friends are it's on Xbox.

That was your smartphone. That keyboard, it was dude. And you could bang out messages. Oh my God. It's like 100 times faster. It was like the best like $30, $40 peripheral like ever made. Dude, I remember. And it was like really sleek too.

Like how it snapped into the controller and it was shaped like it too. It wasn't like an ugly ass third party thing. Oh yeah, it did form perfectly like between the handles. And if you were- I love that thing, using just the like standard interface. Holy shit, it would take you're right. You're right. You'd have to type so slow.

Yeah, it was crazy. So people would just like really truncate everything. Yup, like Neanderthals. We got much stuff for 100. Yeah, so you could type like real nice messengers. We gotta do another one. No. I would type away on that thing, man.

You suck ass. Oh, we got here. Oh yeah. I already did forget. Somebody didn't take theirs home. Look at it. That is me. Look, she's like, she's like,

Oh, suck my nuts. Nats. I say it too. Oh, yeah, say it again. Nick said it. For him. Okay, ready? Ready?

Ready? Suck my nuts. That might be the thumbnail, right? Let's go upstairs and look at chicken. Oh, that's right. We got to look at this. I wonder what the popcorn chicken looks like. I bet it looks like.

Do you think it's different? No, I bet it's mostly breading. I don't know if it's even filming this, but I'm watching it. You like that? Do you ever run around? I'm looking. Yeah, I'm looking too. I'm like, I think I have those exact same pants.

You guys never do that? Is never run around your house? You guys go ape style? I do stuff like it. Not necessarily ape style. I do like... Is it still rollerball? I do like, I do like all four is crawling a lot. Oh, that's good. Like monster walk?

Yeah, yeah. He did the walk? I do that, but I'm bending like up. You know? Okay. Yeah. Holy hell did they give us fucking comeback sauce. That's what you did, right? You got a lot, brother. I'm gonna saving it for after.

What, the cook? Yeah, the cook. Holy shit. Whoa, gravy. And patat. Whoa, gravy. Yum. Oh, I asked for six to eight and she gave seven.

That's a... Right in the metal. And you're upset by it? No, I'm just surprised. You sounded like... Is he mad? No! And my spicy chicken sandwich.

Yeah. Yeah, yours. You can have it. Hey! There is. There's a lot in there. Yeah. Man, after having wings up last week,

I'm so disappointed. Well, I took those home and I reheated them two times. Like at the same time? No, like I did one batch and then another batch later. Everyone gets two comeback sauces except Nick. This is different. I'm so glad you filmed your face. That was the real pace you made in looking at me.

And I intentionally didn't look at him. I'm going back. Who wants back shots? Okay. Well, we'll let you know how this is. It's back. We already did. Ready?

Hell yeah. Oh, we. Oh, slide it down, don't bite it. There you go. Now swallow. Oh my god.