100% Eat - Can We Solve the Y2K problem? %% Taco Bell Decades Menu

Episode Date: September 23, 2025

Our Heroes, riding high on the Year of Taco Bell, tackle the Decades Menu y2k edition even though some of these things aren't very y2k compliant. We also talk about the Switchforks that sold out, why we're wearing different clothes, who really owned the 00's, and if we could be CEOs (we can.) Grab a hat, a hoodie, and a shirt then https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Sponsored by HelloFresh. Thanks HelloFresh! Get 10 FREE meals and a free item in every box at HelloFresh.com/PERCENT10FM. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get man You want it I don't want it no Hey motherfuckers Welcome to 100% eat the show We try every fast food restaurant to let you know If you need it and you motherfucker you need it And if you're not gonna eat it

I'm gonna cram it down your goddamn throat Wow I mean you probably I mean you probably do I'm your host Same normal guy Michael Jones alongside Mike unhinged co-host, Jordan Sweeers. Jordan, they let you out early? What's up?

He's on meds. He took mine. That's what happened. They were in your hand and he went, they were in your hand and he went, these tactics of like aggressively yelling at the audience, it's a new tactic that I think works really well because we sold out of the switch forks

after you yelled it. You told them. Everyone to buy them. Not only did I yell at to buy them, but I'm also curious how much weight did I cause people to gain because it didn't say it's your fatty's only. You didn't keep carrying them faties. If you're a little twink, start eating up.

We had all the bread. And I was like carbolo, bitch. So I think we sold a lot of forks. I think we probably sold a lot of carbs. And I think maybe we clogged a lot of arteries. Yeah. You're an influencer. We're almost at a hats too, right?

Yeah, I think the hats are nearly gone. Yeah. Hats are slim pickings. Can we, okay, we're not restocking the for a while, right? Yeah, there's no plan to restock the fork any time. I would like to, if you guys are comfortable, having almost an equal share of the company. Well, yeah, that's how we, can we talk about how many, how many forks we had both times? Yeah, sure, yeah.

Because the thing, I think in total, the thing about it is, it's not like you don't want people to know. It's just like, you don't know how many you're going to sell. Right. You don't want to like, there is, there is a psychological, effect of like, if you go, we have a thousand. They're like, yeah, I'll get it later. You know what I mean? But you want to imply like, I mean, there's not that many.

Yeah. So it's more just like, it's fine. It's not like a thing where it's a secret because we don't want people to know how many we sold. It's just like we don't know what the demand's going to be. It's just hard. But we had to front the cost. Right.

There's no other company, rooster teeth front the cost for old stuff when we were with rooster teeth. Dude, now it's just us. Also, they never, who bought that guy's thing? Yeah, right. It's true. The best investments came for Michael. Yep.

Brewster that also never told us how much of stuff they were buying. No, no, no. And if they did, it was like, oh, hey, we have an idea for a thing. Yeah, we're really, like, passionate for it. They make it, we sell it, whatever. They make a thing because they'd crank out clothes or whatever. And there's a level of like, here can you promote this? It's like a logo type thing we don't really have input in.

Not because we can't give input. It's just, it's going on all the time. Yeah. There's like specific things where we're like, that's how it works, for sure, whatever. That's the time when you find out and go, hey, can you do, yeah, we have this clothes collection coming out. There's like four shirts.

And you're like, oh, cool, how many are there? And they're like, it's like, 15,000. Yeah. And you go, huh? What are you talking about? And it'll be like, well, you guys sold all those forks? Yeah. That's not the same thing.

Nope. Shirts and forks are different. But 100% neat style. The forks, always been. cool people love them yeah we knew they were gonna sell but you still don't want to i mean again we upfront the cost we don't want to have them like sitting around forever it's expensive every day you don't every day they sit in the warehouse yeah kind of lose money you're losing money on it and that's we're not trying to have the smallest number that we sell out immediately no we want people to have

time to get it but also i mean it varies from product to product but we've said this before we don't make that much money on merch really and the money we too make is split four like five ways Now it's technically five ways. Nothing, essentially. We barely cover our costs because it's cool shit, right? We want our fans to have stuff. And also more importantly, I want it. Yeah.

But the forks are obviously like way more expensive to make. That's what I cost more. So we knew they'd sell and we got it going where we can make them again. And so we settled on 300, which also you don't get the pick an exact number. No. They're like, you're like, $100, $300, $1 million. It's like essentially what they give you is this factory that we work with. can make these at this cost

but if you buy this many it's this cost and if you buy this many it's this cost and of course it gets per unit a little cheaper every time the more cheaper but you're fucked if you sell it because we already don't make a lot of money on them everything is like the margin so low it's like we put in 90% on purchase yeah 10%

back if we have 500 forks at 90% we're kind of fucked here yeah but we knew they'd sell well people like the streams eaters I must say jammers yeah eaters are awesome we went 300 we were confident That was the first round. We sold $300 in like four minutes.

Yeah, it was like that was beyond what we anticipated at all. So like that was an immediate, fuck, we need more. Yeah, right? Like if we sold $300 and four minutes, everyone didn't get a $4 million. And then on that stream, we reordered them and that's how long it took to get them. That last day we launched the switch fork before this last week. From that day to the day we launched them again. It was like in July?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It was like right after we moved you. Two, two and a half months. Yeah. So it took about two and a half months to get them back. Day of.

So that's like, fuck, how many do we get now? Because we want to do more. We want to do more. But we don't want to, again, you order a million and then they sit. And you go, I don't know. It's also a thing where like we sold 300 in four minutes. So you know everyone didn't get one. But you don't know how many people didn't get?

But now you know 50 more people waiting? Now you know 300 people got them. And they aren't going to buy them again. What about everyone else? I mean, yeah, maybe they will. Right. And also, rare thing, too, where a bunch of people of the previous iteration of the show also had the switch for us. So we don't really know how many people are out there who still want one.

So we decided in that moment, 500. Yes. All agreeing, we're not going to sell 300 again or at least that fast. Yeah. But hopefully we'll sell a number, 100, 200. And then we'll have some in the store. In the store for a little while. And at least we can just keep pushing it a little bit if it's around for whatever.

Yeah, push them around. Maybe they go on sale eventually. I really didn't have an expectation of how many we'd sell. But I'd be half. I would have been thrilled if we sold half during the stream. Yeah. Because it's like, well, the other half is going to be months. Yeah, you'll sell.

It's fucking sold out 500 by the end of that stream. We sold out. So in two hours, we sold 500. That's crazy. When the stream ended, there were like 30 left. Yeah. You guys got the rest of them. Me too.

Literally were reading. You're like, this can't be right. Well, because he was like, he was like, 480. But like the way it was worded, it wasn't like you sold 400. 484s. It was like, forks remain as sold to 480. And I'm like, what, Sack, what are you saying? What the fuck? So we sold 480. We almost sold out of the hat also. That's what I brought up. You should get the fucking hat. Because there is a limited number. I also forgot. Going off the boards. Yeah. People bought a lot of hats. I would say 70% of them are sold 80. Yes. I do think in like,

it's a good example of. And we also did the hoodie because we want to just like shirts are just like, so... I feel like shirts are really like people are over shirts right now. Yeah. Yeah. I think people like novelty stuff like a switch fork or a cool hat. Yeah. And we wanted to try... The data backed it up on that. We don't have a hoodie. And this hoodie says 100% eat. And then on the back is Pizza Reaper.

Yeah. It's a cool hoodie. It is very cool. And we want to sell everything. But like the forks are like, I'm going to get rid of these as fast as possible because it costs so much to make. Yeah. We want shit in the store. Like, it's not like we're trying to sell everything out all the time. But shit like this is like, we buy it. because if this doesn't sell in the fork stream people could come back and buy that hoodie two months from now. Yeah. And you should. And I anticipate that

happening when it actually gets cold, that's when these people will buy it. That's just what's going to happen. Thinking we were going to set it up for. I just can't believe we sold another 500 that sick. Unreal. And like but like we're not going to get anymore. No, not right now. There's no plans right now to do the Switch 4. And like we've done so many switch for launches and iterations now. like we're going to come up with something else

if we're gonna do another like kind of big item. I want to sit there and scream at people during a live stream to buy them. I want to lie to them and be like I always go, we only bought five. Right.

But like, I don't know. It just seems so twitchy and that's fine if you do it. I like I don't want a number on the screen. Like, no, yeah,

like I want to trick you into buying. For sure. Thank you each person for their order and say, hey, pass it on. I want to switch for it. Exactly. I want to trick you into buying it

because you see it. You can see us play with I don't want you to get Nick peer permissioned. Yes, that's true. Because the numbers on the screen. Right. Like, that feels shitty. But then you also don't want to be like, guys, we have 500 forks.

Then we sell four. Yeah. Then we look like assholes. Now we look like assholes who sold all their forks. That's right. Well, now we get to say that we keep selling out. So thank you very much. And if you'd like us to sell out more.

Yep. If you're a sponsor. Yep. Jordan will say, you should have heard what he was saying. 100% fan. He'll say anything you write down. You should have heard what he was saying. Yeah, exactly.

Crazy style. What did we eat? Oh, you don't remember? Oh, did that happen? What did we eat, Michael? I have no idea. Oh, it's right there. It might be written on this paper.

Hang on, he's got to think about it. I had some more that bread this morning. Oh, did you? Oh, that bread. It took them. Nice. Yeah, we ate the Slopo Bell. Taco Bell Decades menu, Y2K.

Y2K. The decades continue. And this time we're up to the 2000s. Yeah, it's the year of Taco Bell. Also, we ate it yesterday. Yeah. What do they call the 2000s? Yes.

What's stupid thing? They call it the aughts or if you're... If you're English or British, they call them the Notties. The Notties? Okay, I mean, that sounds better, but it sounds like the 90s. Yeah. I don't know why... What's 2010?

Zero is ought. It's just the tens. Yeah. The 2010s? Yeah, odds are stupid. I'm never going to say that. Yeah. I'll just say 2007.

Yeah. So... They say 1900s. Do you remember anything that happened in? 2000? 2001? I don't think so. 2000.

We talked about that though. We talked about millions. Wight 2K happened. Oh, that's right. In a very big way. All the computers. We're still trying to get over it. Yeah, we're still on the other side of it.

Yeah. The matrix came out. These lights barely were. Did you know anyone that was like actually freaking out about that? I mean, you probably weren't old enough. I mean, like my, and it makes a huge difference now. Like I was 13 and you were like eight or seven.

It was like a huge difference. I was nine. My grandpa was like, very adamant about backing up all of his stuff. Interesting. I mean, even that seems reasonable. I agree. I guess like, dooms day preference. No, no. I remember seeing, like, news

news stories of people like looting up with the water bottles and stuff. It's like water. Water's not going to be a problem. No, I didn't know. The water's not going to disappear when the computer stop. Yeah. I didn't have water before. Yeah. Well, yeah, but what if? It's deleted. Yeah, yeah. They're going to control the water.

They're going to drag the water. Oh, no. Right into the trash can. And then you think, oh, don't tell them. It's okay. haven't emptied the recycling, and then they right click on it, you go, oh, no! I don't really nobody that was freaking out, but also, I mean, he was New Jersey. And so I think people were like, launch the fucking news, we don't get a shit. Probably don't care. It was either people going, I don't give a shit as long as it hits Trenton first.

Yeah, it was pretty good. Jersey City. It was either people going, I mean, maybe, whatever. I don't care. Why are you talking to me? Shut up. sandwich. No, I don't think it will happen. Or what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah.

And so like, I wasn't really worried about it at all. It's just so much news for a year, like news cycle. It was, it was a lot. Yeah. And I remember, like I was 13, I remember being at home watching the clock on like my dad's digital clock. It was like 1159. I was like, man,

everybody's like, it's just going to go crazy. And it clicked like to midnight and I waited like a good 30 seconds and I looked out the window just to see if anything was like going nuts besides fireworks and I was like I guess not nope and then it's just such an insane thing that was built up for a year yeah but it ends in a moment yeah to have nothing like one second later no one can talk about it happening anymore I don't even remember I don't even remember that New Year's Eve oh really remember like the the clock taking over and

everyone going woo or being scared or anything like I don't remember it uh any of that do you guys know about the 2038 problem. No? No, what's the 2038 problem? It's like something to worry about, baby. It's like a second Y2K kind of thing where it's a time computing problem that leaves some computer systems unable to represent times. After 238. 314 AM and 7 seconds, UTC on January 19th, 2038.

So it's another like bit integer thing that like the, if it's a Unix system or something, it just like flips out. Well, like this sounds, so when you talk about this or whatever, I can read it, I can read it, but no, thank you. There's a lot of numbers and paragraphs. It's so like, why would this affect anything? And then you realize, and then you realize, like, air traffic control is still on like, they're already crashing into each other.

Like, air traffic control is run on like Windows 98 and you just go, huh, maybe this will. Without even reading anything about it. Dude, they set a rocket to the moon with, like, paper and paper. pens? Yeah. And like tape cassettes and radial dials. Right. Like, we may have, I mean, they sent a rocket to them. Without reading anything into that, knowing how dumb, dumb computers were, Y2K didn't happen. And that was like a dumb thing, right? Like, computers are so dumb, they won't understand. Is it the logic? Is that the logic? I don't know.

Like, they're too smart. They think there's an equation. I think the problem with Y2K was people were not even a good number. 20-8? Yeah, right. 2040. Round up. I need some round numbers. Also 3.14 a.m. in seven seconds. I'm a human. I need round numbers. That's, I'll be up, too. Yeah, we're going to be watching the digital clock.

You're going to watch your dad's digital clock. Yeah. With my dad in your pocket. He's not wearing pocket today. Hey, dad lives. It doesn't have the pocket today. Real quick, and then I guess we'll do the show. I think I sent it to, I don't know if it's Slack or somewhere you guys,

but I saw, I had a thing pop up my Instagram. And it was something like, uh, I think my brother thought just because he died he could get away from me so sometimes when I piss him off sometimes when I get pissed off

I still make sure he doesn't have peace and it's her just shaking a little oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was also this other video it was this is what you get it was three women clearly doing like a while like don't laugh challenge with water in their mouth and it was like all we said was bring three objects

Yeah, and like someone will punch something down. No one laughs. Someone puts down clearly like an urn. It's a little bit bigger. And like the first woman's like, the second woman, the third woman's going nuts. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Because they didn't.

Yeah. But plan this puts down an even bigger urn. Two of them went with dead family members. So fucking crazy. Awesome. My phone must have heard me talking about my dad. Yeah. Yeah, it does that.

Your phone does that. So, Y2K, they're trying to represent it at Taco Bell, and they're doing it. by doing fish eye lens stuff where they're holding out tacos at you. They're going like... Yeah, they really did. Like in real life or in a picture.

No, it isn't a picture. There's a picture. Oh, yeah, there were a bunch of big posters at the... No, I meant a man. Oh, one wheel's charge. That's the same. That's funny. I thought maybe your phone's listening

about your dead dad again. It was just, it was indicating something. No, that's not the sound it plays. You bring back my dead dad. Egg dad, resurrect. How to resurrect egg dad. Hatch, my egg dad. Like, if I could resurrect, if I could resurrect my dead dad, it'd be like, I mean, would be as old as when he died? And they're like, no, it's like he'd aged.

I'd like, sure. Oh, what's the point? Yeah, right. Yeah. And he missed so much. There's no way he's catching up to cell phones. You know what I mean? Like, you're going to give him one of these things?

Wait, how long ago do you think he died? I'm saying you wake him up and you give him a new iPhone, iOS 26 or whatever? he's going liquid glass what the fuck he's flipping out there's no way he can keep up with it no my dad never had a cell phone really there you go they existed oh sure uh he didn't have one yeah he had one he had a cell phone

he had a word like did he have a pager did he have a dumb no he was at work or he was home yeah and if I'm not either can't find me bitch um he had I remember this was crazy at the time he had this big work truck uh like a diesel truck and he had one of those phones in the dashboard oh yeah

Oh, hell yeah, yeah, yeah, that, but it was for work. Yeah, give him a call. Was it courted or? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, it's, uh, use that cord to kill himself. Here's it, yeah, well, you, you bring, you bring, you bring him back, you park his ass in front of Fox News. He's kidding, he's kidding, he's the only one who can make these jokes.

I killed him. He just died. Yeah. Park his ass in front of Fox News and, like, let him, like, catch up. No, I know that trap. Let him learn. No, no, you don't. I was trying to tee you up.

Yeah. You can make a joke. Make a joke. Don't have to be a good man. Just make a joke. Your, your, your, your dad's dead. Tell me about it. Do you not, you, you make a joke. I don't think I, uh, uh, you're, uh, see me going.

That, uh, oh, uh, dad, literally say anything. We're going to laugh. Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say is the least important part right here. Oh, okay. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. I mean, go ahead. Okay, all right.

All right. You got anything? He might still be here if he had a cell phone. Oh. that's true yeah that's true I should have got him one yeah it makes you think

yeah he's six six feet what the fuck did you say what the fuck did you say to me you couldn't even let him get it out I got

I started getting nervous and then Nick did his and then I got nervous again I got he knew first that's what I thought was going to happen

to me Just tell you a little. But then I saw, I saw glint in your eye where you're like, no, don't worry. This is all part of the bigger screen. Let me just say. Could it make for a really good thing? I'm in a very good mood. Yeah.

Because we, I was feeling very under the way yesterday. We got the food. We ate it. And I was like, the food healed him. No. I was like, I was like, guys, I think the food made him more. I was like, I can power through, but I really don't think it'll, like, I'll be good. Yeah.

It's good now. And then we got to today. it's good now we're here guys when you're living in a house with three other guys that's right that's us we all live in a house

and do a podcast together yeah it's hard to find time to make delicious foods it's true especially when you live together with your two best friends and Nick that's why there's HelloFresh you can get 10 free meals

and a free item in every box at hellofresh.com slash percent 10FM no waiting in line or trying to find a place to park. We can do it right here in our house where we all live together. Yeah, I still, to be fair, though, I had to park down the block. Yeah, well, I had to park

a couple cars. I have some different cars, some bikes. Hello Fresh brings you fresh chef design recipes and seasonal ingredients right to your door. This season, they've taken things to the next level with their biggest menu refresh yet. Say hello to a whole new way

to do dinner. Hi. Hi. You know, I went out and I... Now you can choose from 100 options each week, including new seasonal dishes and recipes from around the world. Discover new seasonal produce each week. Have a taste for snap peas? I do. Stone fruit?

Corn on the cob? They got it. And more. And more? Wow. Yeah, they have more than that. They have three things. They have like hundreds and thousands of things.

They do. More? So what I've heard while I was parking my cars in my bikes. I'm going to stop here for a second. I went out the other day to get this food. And I saw him putting cinder blocks on the front lawn. And I said, what are you doing and he said getting ready to park my car and now it makes sense yeah well

what okay oh where do you want me to put it yeah exactly you know how cyclists will take off like one of their wheels so that like no one can steal their bike you take off all four tires yeah he didn't take them off you never had him he's been going to the junkyard buying a car piece by piece yeah one piece in time i'm doing john cash style i go to the dump i look for some left over hello fresh you guys discarded i go to the scrap yard i can maybe get like a bicycle wheel and that I put that on a car or something. So my understanding is from what I've looked through, because I'm looking through our trash

to see if there's anything for my cars in the trash that you guys are throwing out. And I did see that there were instructions that you made, you made mozzarella and herb chicken with roasted broccoli and buttery cuscus. Is that right? Yeah. No, it is right.

You were out of town, I think, that day. No, no, no, he wasn't. Remember, you made it? And you kept saying, quick, eat it all before he gets here. He's coming, he's come, eat it. Yeah, I did say that. But I haven't been going anywhere. Was this when I was outside parking my car on the blocks?

You told Eric dinner. was at seven but you were very insistent it was actually at six yeah okay so is that why i came in it was like just before seven and you guys just kept like you were like cleaning all the plates yeah and i told you we were getting ready for the food yeah but then but then none of us but then i got that emergency phone call yeah and i got so full from cleaning the plates i got full from cleaning the house it was delicious though i mean it would have been uh if we all had oh oh the food was delicious it was also delicious to watch him not get him yeah oh i guess i'll go back and park my cars some more.

I just think there's, there should be, they should be up on those blocks. You got to work on, here, I'm gonna just, I'm gonna go work on this. Okay, you go work on that. Well, I let the audience know

the best way to cook just got better. Go to hellofresh.com slash percent 10 FM now to get 10 free meals plus a free item for life. One per box with active subscription free meals applied as discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Thereies by plan. That's hellofresh.com slash percent 10 FM to get 10 free meals and a free item for life.

Hi, Eric. Guys. Guys, come see my car. Guys, I found a horn. Sorry, I'm getting an emergency phone call. We got to go. Guys, come see my horn. I'll go off the back door.

Yeah, go, go, go. Hi, I'd like to report a prowler. The twisted tale of Amanda Knox is an eight-episode Hulu Original Limited series that blends gripping pacing with emotional complexity, offering a dramatized look

as it revisits the wrongful conviction of Amanda Knox for the tragic murder of Meredith Kircher and the relentless media storm that followed. The twisted tale of Amanda Knox is now streaming only on Disney Plus. So the Y2K stuff, do you guys, we've done decades before. We've done decades before for Taco Bell.

Yeah, this is like the first one I could kind of remember having. Yes, it wasn't super well received by us. every other Taco Bell thing that they've done has been like positive it's all been good because this is again we talked about it you're a Taco Bell they're crushing it yeah they really are crushing it

until they go backwards and then the crushing stops and you go this is why Taco Bell was not the restaurant of the 2000 no no it McDonald's was the restaurant of the 2000s because of like their dollar and value menu McDonald's was the fucking spot

they like that to me around 2000 and into like mid 2000s whatever McDonald's was fucking it because everything was a dollar Taco Bell was still brown green and yellow and everyone made fun of it it was it just wasn't where it is now I didn't go to Taco Bell that much as a kid Taco smell but yeah but

like my older brother love Taco Bell and it's so telling that how much how little they had they would just get tacos yeah They're crazy nowadays There's like a 10 pack or whatever I use 10 soft tacos or like 5 soft 5 shell I look at that now and I'm like

I eat one crunchy taco every time I go Because it comes with a meal You just throw it in yeah I suck it down immediately That's out of the way on the real food They didn't have shit That's the pair of teeth This was like damn Taco Bell's shit

Taco was their thing Yeah yeah This is the first time I've had like A hard shell taco from Taco Bell And I don't know how long Because it's part we they have a hard shell taco is part of this thing. And it was like, and it tasted, it tasted how I remember that tasted as a kid.

And it made me go, I do remember getting this. This was it. This is all they had. There's nothing else. And then when you go through like the rest of this decade's menu, we talked about it. This was all like prototype shit. Yeah. There's always, you can point to a lot of the things that we ate with the 2000s decade's menu and just go.

This was draft one of something better. Yeah, of this other thing. They have very little of like unique shit that went away. Like the pizza's one thing. Yeah, sure. Like that's a thing. Yeah. Yeah, most of this shit was,

it's kind of like that thing they have now. But the thing they have now is so much better than this thing. The double decker taco, which is on here somewhere. It is. Is just a worst version of a cheesy gordita crunch. It, it, everything is like, what a weird. Yeah. I get why this one away in the new version came out is for most of what we ate today.

Yeah. Very strange. But there are people who like live and die by this shit. Like they want this so bad. That's nuts. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like Taco Bell is also doing a good job of manufacturing hype and nostalgia for something nobody experienced who is eating this. I don't remember anything from the 90s menu when we had that.

Or the 80s menu. What do you mean you're not eating the incherito? Yeah. I remember eating it for the show. going, why'd they make this? It's in the black little case and you just eat it and you go, this sucks shit. Here's the thing about that.

Like I'm sure there's some people like, well, it's my favorite thing or whatever. But like, I gotta be honest, this white 2K thing is such a good idea to me at least. Because this is an aside from like the new shit they keep making. Like the chicken and it, like they make cool shit.

Their exclusive shit is good. Releasing this only reminds me how good Taco Bell is. Yes. Where I'm like, you're so right. And this is kind of the first one. Damn, I'm glad this shit is the menu in here. Or talk about rules.

Yeah. And this is the first one where the overlap is there for me where it's like, I remember some of this stuff and the stuff that is coming out now is way better than this stuff that I had when I was a kid. We're not going to spoil it. But what works even better is none of this shit is like weird different shit and none of it's bad. It's not like, ew. It's just a lesser version. It's just not as good. And you just got to look at it and go, well, I'm not.

I feel a little bit more. I appreciate it of Taco Bell today. Yeah. It just sort of clicked with me. It's like playing a PlayStation one game and then now we're playing all like the remasters. Sure. And if you went back to the PlayStation one game, you go, I mean, this is like this is good, but the quality of life updates that they made in the new remaster is pretty impressive.

Like the difference between the original Metal Gear Solid and then just like the twin snake version on the GameCube. Even like, this is a lesser console and it's way better. Play Resident Evil One with. Tank controls and then play Resident Evil One after like it's third remaster like now or whatever. And Resident Evil One, original PlayStation, all that shit was like, whoa, so good. And it was a remake, not a remaster. It's a remake, not remaster.

It was only one. Did they remake the whole thing? Yeah, yeah. They remade the whole thing for GameCube. Yeah, once. They haven't done it more than once. No. Holy shit.

He said remaster. Uh-huh. It's a remake. They remade the whole thing. What's the re-did, did they remaster any of, they remastered it for the newer consoles? They took the cube and made it HD. Yeah. They took the cube.

Yeah. They took the cube. They raised it. They took the gem out of the eagle and the tail out of the snail. They put it all together. He also, like, remake means ground up. Yes. Entirely new engine.

Remaster, like, it's a, it's a great area. It's got bones. They clean it up and upscale it. To me, remaster's got bones. And then there's HD upgrade. Yes. I feel like remaster has to have more than that. Because most of their shit is just like.

What they just did with. The MGS3 is a good example of that. All the data of like the motion capture and the animation and stuff and like the movement, that's all the same. They've simply like upgraded the textures and the graphics and... That's not a remake? No, it's a... Damn, I didn't know that. That's technically a remaster.

That's crazy. That's like eating Taco Bell's Y2K menu versus Taco Bell now. Yeah. Taco Bell now is a rematch. Say something else about my dad. No, I'll leave it to Nick. I'll leave it to Nick. You know what? You know what your dad would...

Hell, yeah, he loved eggs. You know what your dad would love? And now he is one. Your dad would love learning. about Taco Bell. No, he wouldn't. My dad would go, if you want to get it,

you pay for it. I already gave your mother money for groceries. You want to pay for it? I'd love to eat Taco Bell for dinner. I ain't fucking paying for it. That money's been budgeted. Yeah.

But like when I started working, it was very appreciative. He wasn't like, no. He was like, no. If you want to pay for it, fuck yeah, I'll eat some pizza. Yep. No.

Our last Pizza Hut episode, I had time! Not only did you have time between when we last recorded. You had so many cracks. Like, this is the third day in a row we've come together. Jordan also just in this monologue, he could have taken all these pieces of paper run out the room. Pretty new ones and come back.

Okay. Well, we don't have a printer or paper. I need to get a printer. Yeah. I need to get a printer. How far is carry. Or Richard. Take a fucking one wheel.

Yeah. It's charged. Our last pizza. Richard recently text us and go Do you have a printer? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry. Somebody was saying the other day, like, who even has printers? And I'm like, everyone. At their house? What are you talking about?

Do you have a printer? I have a fucking computer. I feel like it was Gracie. Probably. Probably. She sends us to the library. Pizza Hut episode was on July 15th,

Where we ate the Krispy Chicken Taco and Burrito. It received an average rating of 83. You guys remember that a good point. Yeah. Very good point. Taco Bell made a dude thing. But Chris got an 83. Imagine being.

Not surprising. Imagine being a Taco Bell customer, New Year's Eve, 1999. Yeah. And somebody from the future tells you, trying. Crispy chicken taco. 25 years. Believe it.

Your head explodes. Right. Like, yeah. There's no way. It's impossible. Crispy, not crunchy? so what it took like 22 years to get over why 2K

and then you started making chicken their first thing back is we we learned how to like raising kill chickens again Taco Bell's back it's the only thing there it's great and they got it pump out as much as they can before 2038 yep yep now's the time so do we the chicken wars

dude do you think we'll ever be sitting there going remember 2038 100 years ago yeah yeah wow people are going crazy the chicken wars I'm really trying to read this. The year of Taco Bell continues

with a new international location opening in Ireland just days ago. Whoa. Taco Bell or pizza it? Taco Bell. Okay. This time it's tough. The restaurant, which opened in Dunshallin. I think that's right? Probably Dunshafflin. Dunshafflin. Okay. Co-meath, whatever the fuck that is.

No idea. Probably county meath. Had lines around the block and left customers saying, Oh, Heidi. Oh, Heidi. Do it, Michael. Do the accent. Oh, hi, D, D, D. Uh-huh. How did you, before a dude accent? How do I say that?

Oh, he, oh, high, D, D. Okay, if you're saying D, the same way twice, why'd you spell it differently? It felt like a difference. It felt like a difference in D-E-E-I. Oh, hi-D-D-D. That's why I asked him, D-D. Fuck, harder than D-Sot. Wait, D-Sot, why are they Jamaican now?

Yeah, what am I saying? This is Irish? Yeah, what are you talking about? What's up? Oh, hi-S. Didee, just hotter than the sun. Me mouth feeling like a martian of bog, all in one. What?

Close this place. I mean, I went for it. All right, now, like, now edit, like, that together, so it all sounds good. If your, if your Irish records yourself saying that, and it set it in. So that way Nick can edit it in. We got to have at least one. Oh, hi, did he.

My father's been turned to ash, and I carry him in the egg. Oh, he comes with me. I can do it more when I don't look at your stupid shit. Oh, we've got out to the fields and I take me fodder to Taco Bell. Put him in a bog. He lasts forever. He loves this Y2K menu. He said it resurrect when the bean burrito came back.

I'm not actually Irish. I'm just a cop in New York. Oh, by Merlin's beard in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. What I'd not give to have me fodder dance in a jig with me again? I like the way you're saying father alive. You're doing it. Father good at that. Yeah, that's good.

It's good. It's good around people who are horrible. That's where I thrive. It's why I always surround people that I consider less than me. That... Huh? I would never do such a thing. You're surrounding Michael.

There's more? Yeah. Any other accents? No. In September of 2024, former Taco Bell CEO, Brian Nicol became the new CEO of Starbucks. Hey, I thought I recognized his name. Under his leadership at Taco Bell,

Nickle introduced the breakfast menu, which they got rid of, by the way, was actually pretty good. And the canteen menu sucked. Before leaving in 2015, his big plan for Starbucks is to bring back

nice chairs and hire assistant managers. We should be CEOs. Imagine if Starbucks sold switch forks and everyone at the Starbucks said, fuck you if you didn't buy one in time?

Oh, you actually didn't get a switch fork in time? Uh-oh. We're so good at this. See, we're doing CEO activities. This is good. It's smart. This is good. I love that every CEO's idea

when they come into a new business is to just do what they did, like, 11 years ago. Yeah. People miss this. Yeah. Yeah. But that's every idea from every CEO. Hey, do it the old way. Cool.

That's great. I almost wonder if CEOs are even necessary. No, I mean, we could do it. We have the monkey do it. Monkey CEO. I almost think it should be, like, a negative term. I'm going to start calling people I don't, yeah, I don't respect. I'm going to start calling them CEOs.

You're a CEO? Wow, what a CEO idea. These are CEO ideas. Jose Luis Valverdi Ramos 57 Was been found guilty Uh-oh Has been found guilty

We're back to Irish Was been found guilty A conspiracy to import Methanphetamine Using Taco Bell packaging To disguise the drugs As it crossed the border The 51 kilograms of meth

were bundled into Toritos Locos tacos wrappers We assumed to cut down On the repackaging of the drugs So everyone knows it's local time Ramos famous faces a $10 million fine and 10 years in prison.

Logo time. He did write say the whole thing in an accent. Yeah. And you did great. And that's great. He also wrote Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut, Pizza. I'm doing it on purpose. Repackaging meth in Taco Bell

Doritos Locos things. That's cool. Don't you want it to you want it to look like something inconspicuous. Yeah. But I wanted Doritos Locos Taco. Let me ask you this. Can't get one of those? I'm reaching for that immediately. In what way do you know

they repackaged it? It was, what do you mean? Like it was, it was rewrapped. They said when they found it, it was in his ceiling. And when they pulled it out,

they were all wrapped in Doritos Locos tacos wrappers. I see. All of it. Yeah. Here's what they fucked up. All of the meth was wrapped in Doritos Locos tacos wrappers.

It's great. Here's what you fuck up. You leave the tacos. Just crush it in the dust and put it on. And they go, what is this? And you go, Cool. It is.

It ain't cool. You take a bite It just seems like The most obvious thing Yeah But then that's how you have to like Because you're not getting that back into like But that's bricks of

Right but you don't have to No you can just sell the taco You have a little taco stand And you sell a taco for 40, 50 bucks a pop Yeah You just let them figure out why It costs so much You wink every time you get one

Loco time Uh finally Finally the end of this crap Gracie It's almost over Come on I know. This is more just like a spiritual call out there.

In the fast-paced world of quick service restaurants, Yum Brands Inc. is betting big on artificial intelligence to revolutionize its marketing playbook. The parent company of Taco Bell, KFC, and Pizza Hut has developed... That's why it was on his brain. Yeah, I know.

Has developed what it calls an AI factory. Wonderful. A centralized hub designed to churn out personalized campaign AI... Oh, sorry. Personalized campaigns at scale. What does that mean for you? Probably coupons and somebody hacking the Yom Brands database,

aka Yom Center, to get your personal information and phone number to sell to a robot caller so your phone keeps ringing off the hooks, not on a hook with spam calls. You guys get these, these spam calls, these telemarketers? Used to be the only call during dinner time to make your dad mad. Right?

Wow. That's pretty insensitive, Eric. I'm gonna fucking knock right out of that chair. What the fuck, man? Now it's like they call so much. I'm getting to know them, right? You have this happen? You pick up the phone.

Hello? This needs to be Jay Leno. No. My car's warranty is not. Wait, Steve. They got you working automotive scams now. How's the wife and kid? All right.

Well, that's all my time. You've been great. He wishes that was Leno. Yeah, right. Yeah. That was the like featured comic on the tonight show after the monologue. And they did not get called over to the couch. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. Everyone just kind of clap for them and they stand there. That was great. Yeah. A lot of time on the robo callers and Yom Center. Yeah. You guys talking about the Yom Center?

Hell yeah. AI driving everything for this because they want you to order through the app and just give you, like, just litter you with coupons. And it works. What's wrong with the way they do it now? How do you mean? It seems to be working fine. Right?

Like I'm streamlining. I'm still getting spam calls and coupons and stuff. Right. Right, but they, like, I don't need them, I don't need them personalized from an AI. Right, but what if more? I mean, I don't answer them anyway, though. Yeah, I know. It is, it is like they're just like taking a job in someone else who's dropped and do anything.

Yeah, they were already an asshole. I don't feel bad about that scam fucker getting replaced by AI scams. Here's how it works. A lot of times you get a spam call on your phone. It says maybe spam or telemark it. Yeah. You don't answer it. Sometimes you get an 800 number.

You're like, hmm, this is important. I don't know. You don't answer it. Sometimes it says Iris is school calling and I'm like, who's this? And I don't answer it. It could be anyone. No one's selling me shit. Stop calling. Stop texting 911. Yeah. I'm not 911. I'm not my kids been waiting. All right. That's my time. That's right. Hey, get over. Get over here. Hey, get over here. Hey, get over. Jay, that's crazy. You're a funny kid. You've very funny kid. Hey, the guy made a Jimmy Kimmel. Should I come back? You hear about this?

You hear about this and getting rid of all these late night hosts. And I just thought. Dude, that something's going to happen. You know what I mean? Like, Jay Leno on ABC. Not Jay Leno, but I feel like, you know, already with the Stephen Colbert thing. Yeah. Crazy.

But it was almost like a, like it's crazy, but it happened. And people were like, this was just so. That one was like, it was like the Stephen Colbert one was like, we can't really prove that there's a direct link of him getting, his show getting canceled, and then like the merger getting approved that they wanted. But boy, is that timing suspicious.

This one is very obvious. I'm just like ready to kick back and just watch. What can you do? You're not going to go hot. You're not going to watch Jimmy Kimmel. I already didn't watch Jimmy Kimmel. Right, that's true. We were talking about it earlier.

The fact that I had to think about Jimmy Kimmel at all feels like, it's like I'm losing here. Yeah. This sucks. Yeah, it's sick. You're making me sick and twisted. Hey, I hate it. Can't believe I have to defend Jimmy Kimmel's right to make jokes that are just as funny as what Eric wrote.

Hey! But also, I mean, he's pretty good. What? Writes one a night. He doesn't make jokes. Yeah, writers are right. That's true. That's true.

Jimmy Kimmel's not right. I watch hacks. I mean, I'm not that. Hold that against Jimmy Kimmel. He's got a 10 minutes set five days away. I better have fucking writers. Right. I could write for Kimmel.

You can't write for us. What are you talking about? This is shit. But these are all spelling errors, wrong restaurants, a horrible set. He's going to go out there and he's going to make a joke about pizza hunt. And then you're going to be like, oh shit. No, it's supposed to be funnier if it's Taco Bell. Taco Bell.

Tommy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Well, you can't write for him anyway. Yeah. The most. Yeah, right. Right. That's what I say. I can write for him now.

The most, I feel like the most common question of people who are surprised, my answer is, get it asked fairly often. It's like, oh, do you do stand-up? Fuck, no. No. Because it's just work. I hate writing. It's work.

Yeah. It's work. It's not just the writing to. It's the workshoping. Yeah, we've got to go try out that material. No, I won't. I mean, I won't. So if I got to a point, I'd be like,

but I guess we're going to see that this works. Yeah. But also, and like I get it as a talent where people are like, oh, like react of the audience. It's going to be all, not improbable, like whatever. I hate the audience. You're a pretty good one. But I don't, hey, this guy's really funny.

Go out there and ask them stuff. No. Right, yeah. The, uh, no, the way we would do a, live show would not be a like repeating format thing of like taking a show on the road. It would just be the podcast.

It would just be the specific locations. And that's what people want though. Yeah. Let me say it. Boy, I had to fight a fight about that at rooster teeth. We're not an improv group that's going to take our show on the road and go like do the bit where Eric says something about

Michael's dad and Michael yells at him. Yeah. And the lights him and then it goes up and then It's not a bit. The scene starts and then Nick taps in. It's pretty good. Not a bit. Here's what I'll say, which goes against what I just said,

but also, because it's this show and this show's cool, if we do a live show, we're not going to a tour, whatever. If we do a live show and, I don't know, it's feasible in the moment where it's not just, we have an hour on the stage and we leave. If we do extra stuff, I'll do a five minutes set. Whoa! Can we get you a big jacket? Are you going to spin it off the dome or are you going to write something?

Here's what I will guess now, right? I might, the only problem is I, hate writing, I won't do it. What if I write it for you? By which I mean you dictate it to me and I'll write it. Oh, okay. Because I was like, Jordan, I would love to read your jokes as me. Right.

Do it be very funny? Do you want to read my jokes? No, no. You make me do it every time. I already don't want to do it. In my head, I would write one or two and then use that to like, you're going to just straight of consciousness from there. It'll give me enough.

Yeah, it'll give me enough. You just need something to jump off. Or I'll just panic and want the audience to actually have something funny, so I'll just go look something up and steal someone's material. That's good, this is smart too. But I can get away with it because after every joke, I'll go,

can you believe I wrote that? It's true. I feel like the crutch that you could fall back on is just the crowd work. Here's the crutch I could fall back on whether crowd work. He sat in the crowd. There you go.

That would actually be, dude, people would love that. I want him right next to Kyle. That's what I want. You would be like, okay, let's see. Who's out here? And it's like right on air. And you go, hey, young fellow. Yeah.

It's like, come here, old man. It's like, it's like the ninth night of it. And it's like, Michael, no. Stop. Stop. Because I feel like when I see some of the crowd work stuff, like I get a lot of it on TikTok. Yeah. It feels manufactured sometimes.

Yes. I love crowd work, but it's got to be there already. I'm never going to ask them shit. Dude, that I would thrive on. If someone says something stupid, like I saw stand up the other day and some guy was doing thing and a baby cried in the background. And he jokingly was like, shut that baby up. Everyone laughed.

Everyone laughed. The woman in the front row just goes, it wasn't nice. And he's like, hang on, what? And she goes, you should apologize. To the baby? And he goes, apologize to the baby? No.

And then like, laughed and laughed. And now it's like a little awkward because this is woman's nuts. But then he still, that's like, that's like 90 seconds. But then he still pulled it around. He was like, man, man, I'm very sorry. I'm sorry, baby. So you do it.

We just have to do it at Mall of America. Imagine you're doing this and it's at Mall of America. People are shoppers are walking by. Hey, what did you get at the Lego store? Well, that I do in public. Yeah, right. Yeah, see, this is great. Some of the best, like, some of my favorite moments of, like, doing panels and stuff

are from Q&As, but that's only not because of the great questions that people ask. Which they do. Sure. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. But for, like, the moments where, like, you. You'll ask the crowd to do something.

Like, we're running out of time, lightning around. Oh, yeah. Please come up with your question. Gotcha. I have a 16-part question. Yeah. Or, so like two years ago, I had a thing. And it's just like, please?

Nope. Just get to your question. Yeah. Okay, so what I was thinking of is, and then. When I was little. This really, yeah, this really happened. One, I was like trying to get out of them. And they wouldn't do it.

And I just go, are you fucking with us right now? I don't think they ever got to their question. Good. Good, good, that's even better. That's fucking awesome. Lightning around, we have 30 seconds, just come up, ask a question. Hi, guys, I love you. I've been watching for 10 years.

I made these, shut the fuck up and ask the question! That I love doing on a panel. There you go. That's always fun. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline.

It's good to know. Just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 9-88 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. Pumpkin is here at Starbucks and we're making it just the way you like. Handcrafted with real ingredients like our real pumpkin sauce and rich espresso, sprinkled with pumpkin spice. It's full of real flavors you'll keep coming back for.

Made just for you at Starbucks. Do you guys want to learn about Taco Bell's food? We can learn about what we ate. You already read the fact. No, no, no. We learned about the food. You're talking about this stuff. Imagine if we did this yesterday?

Yep. I don't know, man. This was a call. We're 43 minutes. I know. Everything I saved up from yesterday got doubled on the day. It would have felt like we've done 43 minutes of work.

And then I look at the clock. It's been four minutes. Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Yeah. Hey, listen, this is the right call. Yeah, we did it. Thank you. We didn't.

mention this. Thank you, friends and Eric. But for some reason, one of the items on this menu is the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos. This is when I wanted to get into it. I didn't want to mention it until now. This decade's menu is all Y2K. Like, yo, check it out. 2002. Remember in 2003 when the cool range? The Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco came out and Michael went, that's not even the first one. Right. That's the second one. Right. It would have to come out. The original nach cheese one would have to come out before earlier in the 2000s, which it definitely didn't. I just don't, I don't get it. I don't understand. That came out at the same time, didn't they? It got discontinued in 2019. Yes, a couple years ago, exactly. And they brought it back. Put on this.

I'm like, I'm like, maybe it came out then, but it was out for 19 years. That's just weird. How, like, what? The legendary sequel to the original nacho cheese, Doritos, Locos, Top. It came out in March of 2013. Yep. This mouth-watering twist has sparked fan petitions for years. All demanding its return to the menu. The original taco shell is swapped for the crunchy tangy, cool ranch Doritos taco shell, filled with seasoned beef, lettuce, and cheddar cheese available for $2.49.

This weekend, we'll get into the food and everything. This one sucked. Is cool ranch tangy? Cool ranch, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know, because this didn't taste like cool ranch. Which is crazy because you could see it. Like you could see the dust.

It was like cranked down, uh, borderlands humor style. Yes. It's the borderlands for cranked them of Doritos tacos. Crank down, but also like weirdly like caked up on the top on like the ridge. Yeah. And that's where you have you had to go to get some. Yeah. And then go back.

But it was mostly just salty. Yeah. It was just so salty. It was really bizarre. fucking disappointing. Yeah. Okay. I don't remember this one,

but this is the double deco, double deco taco. Double stupid word taco. Yeah. First introduced in 1995 with an epic return in 2006. The double decker taco gained widespread popularity and is beloved by all. What isn't? They insist.

Fans have kept it alive through menu hacks and in-app voting. A comforting. Uh-huh. It's comforting. Bean-filled soft tortilla. around a crunchy taco shell and filled with savory season beef lettuce and shredded cheddar cheese

of over 249. This was the one where you took a bite of it and you just kept, you started going, everything is beans. All of this is beans. The bad idea of, was the one that was like this and was like in the middle.

Yeah, it was the, it's like, it's just the soft shell on the outside beans and the hard shell on the inside. A flower tortilla, beans and then, it's like a cheesy gordita and they were like, how do we keep the soft shell

in the outside? I don't know, beans? Right. Here's my other question. How the fuck is that a double decker? That's, I don't know what that means either. A double decker? I just think of a bus, which is up. Yeah. This is a stack a taco on top of it. I just, I remember it's not any dollar, a double taco. I remember when it

came out. And it just turned 35. I remember. I had just paid, I had just paid rent on my apartment. Uh, maybe I would be good at stanza. Nick's got him in the audience. He's laughing. Because he doesn't have to be a plant. He'll laugh. Yeah, right. It can be dead quiet.

he's not even there. I'm like, sure, bitch. And this guy will just start howling. He's in the monkey mask in like the ninth row. Sure, bitch. Jesus Christ.

You're not there in this scenario. It's just him and I, I would never say that. The seven-layer burrito. Okay. I don't know what all these asterisks are for. I'm curious as well. It says,

a vegetarian, five, I want to say seven asterisks. Maybe eight. Count them. There's eight. There's eight asterisks. A vegetarian staple and customization icon.

The seven-layer burrito has lived in fan memory as the gold standard of Taco Bell layering. It is a perfect harmony of refried beans, seasoned rice, reduced fat sour cream, guacamole, crisp lettuce, diced tomatoes, and three cheese blend wrapped inside a flour tortilla for 249. I hated this thing. Yeah, this one was like the worst one. It sucked. There wasn't anything too. it. You kept waiting. I took a bite and was like, there's no meat in this?

No. Yeah. Again, this was, I think that was the first thing that Jordan took a bite of and was like, it's beans. And then you kept joking. I just saying the word beans. And I'm eating it. And like, I'm eating and like, I'm eating it and all of it. And there are beans, but I didn't want to say beans as many time as Jordan did. And I'm like, is he like getting more beans than me? Like what I was eating did not reach your level of more beans. beans. I was getting beaned out there. No, we're getting through it.

The chili cheese burrito. Oh, brother. If you know, you know. The chili cheese burrito, a cult favorite and most passionately pursued menu item, sparkled a fan-run

chili cheese burrito tracker to hunt down locations that still serve it. It has hearty chili and cheddar cheese wrapped inside a flour tortilla. Now it's back everywhere and yours for $2.99.

Hold on a fucking second. Uh-huh. This is the most simple one for them to make. And it's the most expensive? Yes. Yeah. It's the only one that's $3? Uh-huh. The

thing about it is of all the stuff that we ate, it was the thing that tastes the most like Taco Bell. It's the thing that reminded me the most of when I hit middle school. Yeah. And you could buy Taco Bell at the cafeteria.

It tasted like resold Taco Bell. It was classic rich kid. This is, I had a I had a ticket I could use. Nice. A rich kid ticket. That's what it was. I got it from the government. I wasn't buying Taco Bell at school, middle school, but I was going out back saying, bong.

This guy, he's on his phone. Home school, homes over here. No, I was home school. It was the first drug I tried. Nice. Taco Bell? Marijuana. Taco Bell.

No, that's not a drug. That's medicine. Not even one. It only makes you better. The chili cheese burrito is one that I feel like the most white trash people in my life seek. Like there's like drug seeking behavior, but for the chili cheese burrito specifically. Yeah. Yeah.

When you start experimenting when you're 12 or 13 and the first thing you have is weed. Uh-huh. And you do that for a little bit. And then you try beer? It's like, it's fucking sucks. Yeah. It tastes like shit. I feel like shit.

Being drunk sucks. Yeah, you went backwards. This is awful. Why don't people do this? Tough. I guess beer is the true gateway drove. Yes, absolutely. I feel like it's not.

I feel you should have started there. Well, I started. He jumped the gate. Well, I feel like I wouldn't have gone through the gate if I started at beer. Because I already knew it was better. Yeah. Oh, sure.

A little bit of weed. Peach snobs from like people's cabinets. Then straight to southern comfort. Oh. Then after that. That made my stomach. Started drinking beer. And I'm like,

I couldn't ever, I couldn't get buzzed. Because it was so, it took me an hour and a half to drink two. And I'm like, guys, I've got to suck down that bottle and been drunk wandering around by now in two seconds. Shot, shot, shot, shot, chaser. I'm out of here. So you got to pop that, crack it, and go. You just get it down.

All right. But I do like beer now. It takes the longest to like, man. It does. Yeah. I get it. And you got to find the one you do like. Yeah.

Yeah. Then eventually you stop caring about all the taste. You just go, it doesn't matter. No, I definitely still care. but even if it's shit once you get through that first one. Yep, you're smooth sandwich. Go for it.

The second shit beer is the hardest one. Don't you dare say that. I love Coors Light. Keep going. Mountains are blue. It's for you. The first Milwaukee's best. First Molson.

This is the Carmel Apple Impanata. Since its debut in the early 2000s, the Carmel Apple Impanata has built a passionate fan base pleading for its revival. The Krisby Golden Crown. He's bleeding or the empanada bleeding? Revive, no, revive me!

The crispy golden crust filled with warm apple pieces and a creamy caramel filling is back from the vault for just $2.99. Okay. I actually liked this one. I liked it. It did not taste like Taco Bell at all. No, not really.

At this point, do you want that caramel apple apple to taste like Taco Bell? No, it was just a very like... This doesn't taste like beans? Yeah. Where are the beans on that one? You should bite into its apple and beans. Beans, oh beans!

I'm pleading. You're just so used to like the cinnamon twist that like the caramel apple empanade is like so out of... They're so airy. They are. They're like empty churros. Yes, absolutely. Empty churros.

Yeah, it's like a disappointing chero. Yep. The Perth material says here that quote, no one did the 2000s like Taco Bell. That era gave us some of our most iconic menu items, including the Crunch. Rep. Supreme. I guess they still have it. Yeah. It's fine.

Which remains one of our best sellers two decades later, said Taylor Montgomery, Chief Marketing Officer. Yeah, that's why it's still on the menu. Fans have never stopped asking for these items. And honestly, we've missed them too. But decades, Y2K isn't just about the menu. It's about reliving the flavors, the fashion

and the fun that made that moment in time unforgettable. And letting our fans be the first to live it all over. If it is about that, remembering those moments in time was, man, this sucked. Yeah. I forgot how much this sucked. Right. Yep. But those moments of time.

I remember taking a bite of a double-decker taco and going, ah, we got to get back into Iraq. We got to get over there, guys. Well, okay. So we can agree, like when they said, no one did the 2000s like Taco Bell. I'm not going to think a good thing. No. They just, yeah.

They did the 2000s. Pretty hard. They did it. They really did. Not like Taco Bell, though. Not like Taco Bell. You don't even know who they blew up. That's right. Tocobel didn't get caught. That's the difference. Whoa. That's the difference. They didn't get caught with that horse meat. Yeah, I'm going to

compromise. I'm going to happen. I'm going to throw my shoe at Taco Bell. Yeah. Well, we no one's going to get bad. It's pretty good. Okay. Then I'm going to throw my other shoe at Taco Bell. I'm wondering who gets, I'm wondering who even understands like, oh, yo, come in, yeah, don't know. I don't know who it's bad. Well, if it's not this audience, I don't know who the show is for.

No, because at this. That's for us. Don't you ever goddamn forget. Do you see how it was screaming in his face earlier? That was for me. That's for you. Yep. That was for you.

And if you liked it too, great. Congratulations. It's bonus. Well, we have our review of Taco Bo. We need to hear from you in a segment we call you review. Is this the shortest? You review? Yes.

There are three, but this first one for some reason got split in a two. Don't worry about it. It's all one. It's for pizza. Yeah. So which are the two? The top two? Yeah.

The ones with the names. What do you want to do? I'll do the first one. Why not? Go for it. Yeah. This is from J.P.R. Okay.

He says, they say it's fast food, but this Riverside Taco Bell, it's definitely not fast. And some developed nations wouldn't call it food either. Okay. You guys heard about this? He didn't even have that much of a list. Nonetheless, it's Taco Bell. And if you're down to wait 30 minutes for your order, it gets the job done. Now he likes it.

Wait, what? Or just go to a different Taco Bell. You'd probably save time driving a lot. Okay, so his assessment was, they say it's fast food. It's not. It took forever. None of the less I waited, got the job done. But if you want it faster, go somewhere else.

One star? That was a great review. He gave it one star. Not only did he say, oh, this is too slow. He also said, some of this wouldn't even be considered food. And then his next sentence is, but it's Taco Bell and I like it pretty good. I like it. I will say that guy like me.

If he did wait 30 minutes, that's a Taco Bell specific location. Yes. Taco Bell's pretty quick. It's quick. It's pretty quick. It's quick. Well, that was just J.P. Yeah, no shit.

I can fucking read, dude. I'm all glad you just learned. We've been here a while. It's only three letters. Jolie F says, I don't like how kids that work always got an attitude. I was never disrespectful to them kids, but it's like they don't know how to talk.

The food was amazing, but the attitude was not felt like I was being rushed. Just a bad experience. One sentence. The food was amazing. The food was amazing. one star okay do you want to be rushed you don't wait 30 minutes i know right cool talk to j p i got my food too slow i got my food too fast yes but the one thing we can agree on though we love the food

i bet jo r's food is gonna be just right yeah you think so right this is a less funny way than i was let's have a let's find out i'll i go for it uh joe r says thisy place sucks comma comma I waited along with a few other cars in drive-through period. I arrived at 9.40 p.m. and waited. Before I could order, space comma, they closed on us. Ellipses. No warning or anything. Dot, dot, dot.

Not very good customer service. Use. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Again. What? Is this backspace button broken? Do you think this was text? The speech?

Typewriter. It's a typewriter, yeah. Type writer and he was like, I'm not gonna do another piece of paper. Dude, who the fuck had the whiteout ink and typewriter? No, no, no. Oh, do you have, no?

Okay, I guess I'll just slam over this letter over. Yeah, absolutely. I'm gonna, I'm gonna. You look like an H. I'm gonna force it. I think he was text to speech and he was like, he was driving and going,

this place sucks. Wait along with a few cars in the drive-thru at the very end. Not very good customer service of us. Service again. Okay. I mean, I broke it out at the end.

I'm just trying to figure this out. So we, my assumption, they closed the 10? Without saying, like did they just close? But he goes, they closed on us.

No warning or anything. Well, the warning is the 10 p.m. The posted time that they're hours. Or do they mean they just went, fuck, the kitchen's on fire and they closed. Turn the lights out.

Like I don't know. But he says, got, okay, there's cars in line, which is usually how drive-thew works. Interesting, interesting. He said he arrived at 9.40 and waited. So how long did you wait?

Because what I'm feeling like, if it was a long wait, they closed before you got there. Maybe they were already closed. And you and a couple other bozos those were just waiting in line. Right. Maybe it's like, okay, you got there and it's like $9.55, but they do have to start. They got to close at some point. Yep.

I wish I knew more. Me and Jordan have done that at a Culvers. I was going to say they just close on you, Culver's style. We pulled up in the line. light on the drive-thru was on, it was on, it was on, it was off. Which by the way, it's disappointing, but what a, what are the way is, yeah, yeah, well, no fucking warning or nothing? Yeah, well, the sign turned off.

Yeah, they're ours and it's off and they're all going home. God, that happened, we just told you. That happened also a, another time, don't be confused. This was in, hey, hey, they all turn the lights off. What do you think's going on? What do you think they're doing? Like a disaster movie, everyone got out of their cars in 2008. Are the plants killing us now?

Where the bees? In 2008, when Super Smash Bros. Brawl came out. Yeah. My friend Sean and I went to the local game stop and got it at midnight, midnight release style. It was great. And we wanted some food.

So nearby, we went over to a Domino's that was still lit up. It's probably like 12.30 a.m. at this point. We walk up as we reach for the door, the lights turn out. Nice. Now did they close at 1230 or 1 o'clock? I don't know, but it was, it was. like funny that it's happened twice to you twice. And then we

turned to go to the 7-Eleven that was next to it and we saw a guy rushing in with a ski mask. Uh-oh! Or like a beanie of some kind and we were like maybe we don't risk that. So then we were like, let's just go home. And then it was daylight saving so we lost an hour. We couldn't play

the game all night. Yeah. And then it was brawling. There's a Lavalov I'll get annoyed if they closed before. Like even Domino's, right? Say they close it one. I guess stand would be you close at one right right i ain't gonna bitch if they close at 1245 right fuck it's like 45 minutes now you gotta make the pizza we gotta do we gotta get it's like there's not five more minutes McDonald's bitch you'll be open till the second runs out it's gonna take you 30 seconds to make

more food there's that unwritten rule of going to a restaurant where if you're within like 30 to 20 like 20 minutes there's a window there where like if you come in and order something the kitchen's going to hate you. Right. Yep. Is that the same at a fast food restaurant? I don't think so at all. It's fast food. Because the kitchen's already going and it's not that much work to get it down. How I feel with restaurants too is I agree with it. It's about the kitchen. People will, like in your party sometimes are like, oh, they're closing, they're closing. It's like they don't give a shit. We're just sitting here eating the food. Yeah. Right. Yeah. They don't,

they're not like, get the fuck. You're not making them work. When they're putting the chairs on the table, I don't give a fuck. I'm already made the food. Yeah. The food's there. I'm eating food. If you're there... That's not when you order food. If it's 9.59 and then closed at 10, they're just getting ready to go. Yep. If you leave at 10, that's great.

I think half hour is... I agree. I would do half hour, apologize profusely, and I honestly would ask. Yeah. As I walked in, like, it's too late. Yeah. It's too late. And if it's too late, it's too late... And also, tell me if it is. Yep. You know what I mean? Because it's like, if you can whip this shit out in 20 minutes, I'll kick my feet.

up and I'm gonna suck down a bottle of sangria. Yes, what's up? Dude, you can make it worth their while, you know? That's it too, at restaurants, right? There is a level of like, just tip. You can tip and I'm sorry. This is extra money and it's, it is what it is. Well, those are your opinions on Taco Bell,

but we have our own opinions on the Taco Bell Decades menu, Y2K, Jordan. So this is the year of Taco Bell. They've said it. We're on board with it. Yeah. They're on a good run. Yeah.

But this is like our third or fourth decades menu thing, and we're starting to see, like, the cracks in it. How, it's all prototype food. Yeah. And the cracks are, like, the things that are new that they're doing are pretty good. And Taco Bell is crushing it. And I just feel like all that stuff is lifting the Decades menu up. Yeah.

But now, like, I'm seeing the pattern of, like, this is, like, the worst stuff they're doing. And so it's like, I don't want to, like, I'm not going to say that they're, like, phoning it in or anything. It's just like they're not being as, like, slam dunk. Right. With the year of Taco Bell. Right. I agree with that. This is the only crack in the armor. Yeah, the decade's menu is the only thing they really miss on.

Yeah. And it's been kind of all of them. Yeah. And the thing too is, it's not bad. None of the food was bad. No, no, no. But it's like you're, it's just more versions of food. It's like you're sitting there playing on your smartphone. And somebody goes, but try this flip phone. How about that? Yeah. And you're like, do you want to play? Hey, snake. It was cool. It is great start. No, I don't want that now. Get the fuck away from me. Why are you talking to me? Look at the ground. Yeah. It's playing PlayStation 5. And then somebody going, yeah, but check this out. and it's PlayStation 1.

That's what it is. Would you like to play Cuber? It's an interesting review to me that like it's just very Taco Belly. It's not bad. It's just reminds you how much better Taco Bell is now. That's about it. Right. It really,

this is in a weird way, them showcasing that for the vast majority of their history, Taco Bells kind of sucked. Yep. Yeah. Which maybe intentionally or unintentionally, that's the marketing. Maybe you kind of.

I'm not sure if it's genius or anything. Maybe you feed them the prototype food so that way people go, you know what? It does make me appreciate what they're doing. I think making me appreciate what they're doing more. Cheese your crunch is better than this fucking thing. I think the only thing I would order today from this. And it would be an extra on real Taco Bell food is the chili cheese burrito.

It's the most Taco Bell tasting one is. It's the most Taco Bell thing that I'm like, I could see this as like my extra taco. It's slop. It's very sloppy. I wouldn't go for it. I wouldn't go for any of these. I would probably get the caramel apple impanato. I might swap that out.

for the basic crunchy taco I'm gonna get with a meal. Give me the chili and cheese. George should put some of the beans on. The cool ranch Doritos pisses me off. Yeah, that one sucks. 2013 didn't taste like it. I hope we got a bad batch.

Yeah, I don't know. I saw a picture of someone in the discord. They went and got it. It looked exactly like that. Yeah, I don't doubt it. Same problem where it's all kicked up on the top. Yep. Bummer.

The taco shell. So what do you think? I don't know. I don't know that it deserves a hammering or anything. It's just kind of average. So I was just going to hit him of like a 65% okay damn that's higher than I thought yeah me too um but I agree with you that like

the last thing was good and it was an 83 it's not horrible but it ain't that uh I'm gonna give like a 52 okay and I think those are and that fair score 52 is because of all the great shit you could just get instead yes yeah yeah yeah you know what I mean like exactly it's a average score 58.5 58.5 which is for this menu absolutely Is this the end of the decade? If they're not going to do a 2010s, are they? I bet they do another throwback to some other best of decades. I would say, if you give a fuck about any of these and you did use to eat these, sure, go for it.

If you don't eat Taco Bell or you never had any of these, there's no reason to eat any of these. Yeah, probably not. This seems like food to try with your friends if this is a thing that you remembered, but honestly, we just did that and went, nope. Yeah. That's all that was. Oh, well, but hey, well, actually what we did. because we did it yesterday. Yeah.

Because you guys were all talking and I was just staring quietly, quietly, quietly. Mutely, staring, eating, and I looked at Eric and I said, tomorrow, buddy. Yep. There you go.

And you guys all left and I napped on that couch for about two hours. I'm so glad you did. Because I was like, well, I'm going to go home and nap. I should just nap here because I can nap.

It's quieter. No, I didn't think that. It was just driving. Yeah. I should nap before I drive. Jordan, as I laid down, I realized. So quiet.

Oh, not at children. not a mice Not a nice Not a Nick Children or a mice Not a children I was just like I put

Netflix I logged in my Netflix on the TV I put on part three of the Tylenol murders Because I was watching I was like I don't know I hoping it

Ow That's awesome You needed that I'm glad Well that's our score For Taco Bell If you want to support us directly you can You go to patreon.com

slash the regulate God damn it You go to Patreon dot com What the I've been doing way more of the other show. I've just been doing way more of the other show. Nickle edit that.

Go to patreon.com slash 100% eat. You can get the Michael Jordan podcast. So Jeff finally got to you. You go to Streamly. He did. You go to Streamly.com slash 100-percent-eat for signed prints and 100%Eat. Store for merchery.

Dude, buy the hat. This hat. They're almost sold out. Yep. You can grab the Pizza Reaper hoodie. You can also get the sauce industry shirt and the sexy monkey, the saucy monkey shirt. Ooh.

You can follow us on Twitter, Instagram. and blue sky at 100% eat and our P.O. Box is 1432.41, Austin, Texas, 78714. P.O. Box 14. 3241, Austin, Texas, 78714. We'll have a 100% treat very soon. Close. It almost bounced in. We got any 100% fans? We want to give a shout out to here? Hold on.

My dad. What day does this show? Is this next week? This comes out on the, give you the exact date, the 23rd. Okay, yeah, this is good. Okay, this is... Oh, this is good? Oh, my God.

Okay. We got a fan shout-out. Okay. From Becca. Okay. Hi, Becca. And Becca says, My husband, Colin, has been sober since July 26th, and I am so proud.

Oh, hell yeah. He's a very long-time fan of y'all and Rooster Teeth and Achievement Hunter. And I want him to know how proud I am slash how much I love him. That's awesome. Congratulations. Way to go. That's really, really cool. You're about to hit two, right?

Yeah. That's July, August. Yeah, there you go. Hey, way to go. That's really awesome. That's, uh, yeah, that is a, uh, this is a tough thing and you're doing it. Keep it going. And if you can, and if you can watch this show and still stick to it.

Yeah. Well, because it's a challenge for Nick every day. We got that guy. We got that guy that got the motorcycle accident and had to relearn how to be a person. We got the guy who's just two months over. We got it all. That's also a great idea because usually they start with my husband. has been sober since X day until he found your podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, now, he started talking to a guy who re-learned how to speak. This is, this is technically a subpoena. Don't tell, don't tell your husband this. And maybe don't have it watch this documentary, but through the 97 or so times Charlie Sheen got sober and fell off in the documentary. One day, he went to Nicholas Cage's house. It was on his one year sobriety.

And he opened the refrigerator and he was like a Papps blue ribbon. And he's like, he was just there. like lit up waiting. It's a Pab's blue. That's not Charlie. But like, but like, but like, crack focus, zoom in. And he's as he describing and he's like,

reverse shot my face in the original door. And he goes, and he was like, he's dictating the script to me. Yeah, he was. And he goes and he's like, I think it was his dad's birthday. He's like, and I was like, fuck, it's my dad's birthday. It's my birthday. Celebrate a year. It cracked it open. Well, don't do that.

Don't show your husband that. Yeah. Show him that and tell him, don't do that. Don't do that. Right, this is bad. We'd better than Charlie Shee. Colin, don't do that. Tiger's blood.

Remember that? All right, well, rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Damn. Thank you, everybody. Appreciate it.

That was horrible. That was very close. That was a good one. Yeah, you better stop that. I was trying to catch it so I could throw it again. How do you think my dad died? Oh, no! All right, we'll see you next time.

Bye. Thank you. Thank you.