100% Eat - Canada's Burger King? %% Tim Hortons

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Our Heroes run for the border, but this time it's north as they take on Tim Hortons. The sandwich they were gonna get wasn't there but who cares. They've never been and there's only one in town so they enjoy a selection of goods including the cheesy chicken melt. Don't worry, Nick makes his monkey money on everyone else's food and he's got some donut holes for a job well done. Sponsored by ExpressVPN. Get an extra four months FREE at ExpressVPN.com/percent Also Sponsored by Pretty Litter. Prettylitter.com/eat to save 20% off your first order. Terms and conditions apply. Grab a hat to cover up that dome at https://100percenteat.store Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. ["I'm Gonna Eat Your Doughnuts"] Welcome to 100% Eat, except Eric who doesn't eat his fucking food.

The show where we try every fast food restaurant, and you know, if you need it you probably do. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? I'm good. I'm full. I ate all my food. I saw. I was checking. And some of Eric's. Yeah, but he wasn't eating crusts. No, they were burned. So you still weren't eating them though? They were burned! He had room. Did you eat them? He had room for Eric's food then. Yeah!

And donut holes. Yeah, hey, hey! Oh, hey did you do a good job yet? As reward for a job well done! Job well done is what? It's also crazy to me that you're eating them in bites and not just putting the whole thing in your mouth. I know, but how? How? It's just such, it's stickier, it's messier.

Savor it, just chew it and then swallow it like a fucking donut. It's a Timbit. Savor it. Just chew it and then swallow it like a fucking donut. It's a Tim bit. Savor it! You gotta make- He took two bites out of it. You gotta savor the bit. No, you don't. You pop it in your mouth and even still it's like the least amount of sticky you can get. Yeah. You just pick it up and then you can- oh that doesn't help. That doesn't help at all. That apple fritter was really sticky. That's a sticky fritter. That's what was wrong with it! That's why you didn't finish it. Oh, so we got we went to Tim Horton Here's a Who. Uh-huh.

We got, please call it Tee-Ho. Tee-Ho! We got some little donut holes. You got a fritter and then we got like melts Yeah, and we were waiting for the melts. They gave us the pastries first You're eating your pastry and you stopped like halfway through and you're like, I'm good Yeah hadn't gotten our food yet. Like yeah lunch food and Nick was like what why? What's wrong with it? Yeah. No, I didn't say that the only you just stopped eating and I immediately screamed what's wrong with it? Yeah, no, I didn't say that. The only- You just stopped eating and I immediately screamed,

what's wrong with it? Yeah, because there would be, the only explanation would be something had to be wrong. Otherwise you would eat all of it, right? What are you doing? It was a donut. It was like this big. And I just went-

It's a big fritter. It was an apple fritter. Apple fritter is like my favorite donut. It was not a very good apple fritter. It was fine. It was about this big. I ate about half, maybe three quarters? No, about half of it. Yeah was about this big. I ate about half maybe three quarter half of it with the white yes, and then um

Nick couldn't believe that I was done Well, you can't comprehend someone who has food and doesn't eat all of it in general, right? Which say that was the only thing you got you could could sort of say, I'm full. You had more food coming. Okay. There it is. Eat that too. Eat that too, idiot. Oh, I guess someone isn't having a job well done.

Think with your brain and your stomach. That's actually not using your brain at all. Yeah, I actually think you do the opposite. I think you just do your stomach. Uh-huh. No, but it's full sometimes. Right. Yeah, way afterwards when you crow at us about how much you ate and how full you are

When it's full it can't give him He trades thoughts also also To be clear at the end when half of that when that half doughnut was still there. He wouldn't need it He Jordan I had like Jordan had to give him pure permission to do it. He said it was out of his range Uh-huh, right. I moved it close to him. He goes now. It's in the vicinity Yeah, it was off the radar, you know, but then oh we got a ping Jordan took a little piece off of it You're gonna want to have a look at this It's half a fritter I've never seen anything like it my god surely it can't be the rush with it

It's breaking apart Jordan took a little piece off of it like I'm eating it and he said what if I do this? Yeah, and then you peel the piece off and ate it and he's like Uh-huh, and then Nick said that like now. That's just a piece that he can't eat it that key Yeah, I was trying to eat it. I was trying to piss them off. Oh, you didn't okay No, Ohio State Yeah, yeah good game I learned a lot I heard a lot about I learned that the that the Refs don't they don't give penalties. No, they don't call holding on high-end states.

They don't call holding ever. Ever. Ever. If you've seen it happen, wrong. Not through the playoff. Never happened. He just keeps saying it like, no. They said it on the thing? Well, it's a fact.

Who said it? The ref? Who said it? Someone nick-minded? No shit. Kirk Herbstreet. Yeah, he did actually. And that makes it law. Yep. So I heard about that watch along that you guys did. And uh...

Yeah, did you hear about how we said you Ted Cruz'd us? Absolutely I Ted Cruz'd you. Yeah. Your stupid daughter. Well I was trying to go down there to find Ted Cruz's evil daughters. To really set him straight. Last time I heard it was down here. Stop it. Stop making your dad leave Texas. My Ted Cruz's evil daughters to really set him straight. Last time I heard they went down here.

Urgh, stop it, stop making your dad leave Texas, urgh. So yeah. Instead he was at the game and ruined it probably. Was he at the game? Yeah, yeah, the jinx lives on. What a fucking loser dork. What a dork ass bitch. You see him like, hey JD Vance, let's do a little,

let, I'll do a wager. And it's like, you're a loser ass bitch. Oh yeah, that's right, because he's from Ohio. Yeah, he tried to like. Hey guys, I'm included too. God, such a dork. I didn't realize, I was going to Cancun trying to find him.

Who's JD Vance? Is that Elon Musk's assistant? Elon Musk, well, Elon Musk's assistant is Trump, Trump's assistant is JD Vans. He's like 30 lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say he's probably not. He's probably a little further down.

Peter Thiel, I think, is right around there somewhere. What other white South African billionaires can we get in here? Elon Musk's dad? Yeah. Did you see that? He's ahead of Vans. They were like... That guy sure did disappear after the election. Yeah, did you see that? He's ahead of Vance.

They were like... That guy sure did disappear after the election. Who's that? JD Vance. I haven't seen him. I think he's trying to figure out the Senate and the House stuff. And so he's just trying to work in the background. Not good so far.

I don't think he's doing much. No. Do you think he's trying to figure it out because he's been in politics for two and a half years? Yeah. He's like, oh man, wait, I gotta do something now? Fuck. I think Trump thought, I don't think Trump wanted to win. I don't think he cared. I think he probably figured the only way

he could stay out of jail was winning. Yes, and so he's like, I'll do it for that. And then he won and he went, well, fuck, now I'm fucking lumped into this JD Vance dickhead. God damn, oh, what the fuck am I saying? Hey, hey, hey buddy. You gotta Go to the you gotta figure out the house. Hey killer. Yeah Hey slick

Well, we're gonna figure out Tim Horton, that's right. Yeah, and there's a lot to figure out Yeah, they didn't have the food that is listed here. That's fine the spinach and feta savory egg pastry format Nope, they did not have it. Sorry throw the format out Gracie style. Oh throw the format out, but then keep looking at Jordans format. Where's my format? Where'd mine go? She had the biggest smile on her face. She did it. Yeah, then it was like me look at yours. Yeah And type on my yeah, God. Here's what I want to know Why wouldn't you take us to McDonald's or Chick-fil-a after he drove through the McDonald's to get to get Yeah, but it's McDonald's Donald's like that and he didn't let us get out and play at the play place

Are you doing Gracie moves? You're not making enough noise There we go this one is the best one Yeah, it's quiet. It's a little pretend. Laptop a little mean yeah, Nick didn't love that I'm getting some working. Yeah, good work, buddy I get it. I get a timbit. Yeah How many timbits you got left over there one? You only had two!

Why did he leave with two? He put two in the box and walked out. Just eat them for fuck's sake. Well we couldn't stay there for six more bites. Yeah, it's true. Have you guys been to Tim Hortons before? I don't think I've ever had it in my life. I've been to Tim Hortons exactly one time.

And that was in like Toronto? Toronto, yeah. I was there for a convention and I was there with a certain Canadian That we used to work with Justin Trudeau. Yeah He didn't like that, that's weird. Well, no, I was trying to make a resignation joke It doesn't make sense. It was 12 years ago. No, no, I understand

So Barbara wanted you to eat Tim Hortons. Yeah, so she she I think she just got us the Timbits So that's all I've had from there just donut holes and they really are don't know but I did notice Now keep in mind. This is a long time ago So I don't know what mind kept with the national mood is on on Tim Horton since then mm-hmm But every Canadian loved him then I don't know if they still love him now It's a real Nando's of the north they seem to be expanding and I don't know if like the quality is suffering as a result These these are such such regular donut holes Nando's of the yes. Yeah, they're just did their donuts. There was really I remember the it donut

Yeah, it's small ball donut. Is this not what it was. Is this place not just Duncan but Canadian? It's it's you could say it's Duncan of the North. No, I'd say it's Nando's of the North. I like that. Duncan's already kind of Northeast. Yeah, like this to me, he's doing a jumble on Nick. Do you think instead of people going, I gotta get my Dunkies, they go, I gotta get my Timmies.

Yeah, definitely. I think that's probably absolutely what they say. They don't say Hortys. No this coffee I just got the regular black coffee. I know that they're cold down for you. God, you know what they oh, yeah It was can finally drink it. We had to like leave and I could finally drink it. That was so steaming That was insane. You know what people call Dunkin Donuts. What's that? Donkey Doe's I'm about to go I'm about to funk and go nuts. What about what about donkey Mo's dude? Dunkie Doe's. I'm about to go, I'm about to funk in donuts, dude. What about Dunkie Moe's? Dunkie Doe's?

Donuts, dough, short for donut. Yeah, that's fucking stupid. He is mad now. Well, he's got no more tasty treats left. Thinking about Ohio. He also, you pointed out him eating that, and he went, no, and you looked away, and he ate it real fast.

Oh, I saw it. But on camera, he's got his, he went. Well, see, the camera's always up for us. Yeah, I can see it, but he can control in the yeah, but I already saw it's still there Gotcha what ha what you can still see me ha I'm making it stutter Ha it's true. You made it worse now. We're on the TV going. It's like we're the six million dollar man So this coffee the hottest coffee I think I've ever had, boiling. It's not like boiling. It's not like it was particularly cold in the restaurant.

We ate at the, the Tim Horton. It was because it was a 45 minute drive. Yeah. It was. They decided to plop it in the middle of nowhere. It's in the middle of like a neighborhood. Yeah. Like, hey, go to round rock, go west. Okay, is this how it is? Get off the main road and into someone's neighborhood. Drive into someone's house.

And then through a McDonald's without stopping. Twice! Well, just once in the way and then yeah, once back. And then we had to go back. Just another time we didn't stop at McDonald's. And then look Chick-fil-A, No can't have that either. We say I Could have eaten. I thought they were gonna plop it right along 35. Yeah, because that's where everything else Yeah, everything goes. I think it's crazy that they didn't do it like that West

You know what the Carl's Jr. Is or whatever sort of like that Lake Creek, whatever up there It's just surprising that it's not up there. It's weird, like the placement's so strange. So we ate there, I couldn't drink any of my coffee. It was so hot. You like that? No. Well, he didn't look up for so long. I had to make it louder.

Well, at first I was like, oh, that's weird. I sat there and he was looking down. I bet he's thinking, what is that? But not enough to look up, so I kept doing it louder. And I was jingling. I got a real Ohio death stare. Yeah. We got there. We they don't have the food.

It's fine because you've never been to Tim Horton. So it didn't matter. Yeah. All right. There's chicken. Chicken cheese melts. Hey, there's these chicken cheese melts. Let's get something that's like, OK, it's substantial.

Whatever. You're like, hey, chicken cheese melt. Great. You immediately were like, that's it, that's the thing. Let's get that. I don't know, you get, I'm like, what, we're all ordering individually because I don't know what the fuck you want.

And then you're like, that's fine. Whatever, whatever he's got, yeah, get the chicken cheese milk. I think Eric was mad because there were people in front of him who were also like, They didn't know what they wanted. And then I stood at the register for so long. It was two people who weren't together,

both going, will you go? No, I people who weren't together both going will you go? Yeah, I don't know what I want. Will you go get the fuck out of the way? So I just walked up don't know wait don't stand in line at the counter looking at the menu you fucking moron It was a bad off to the side. It was a bad line. Yes It's a bad line set up, but you know we didn't walk in and then went off to the side Yep, and weren't in the way we weren't in line So it was who gets up to the line, doesn't know what they're getting. And then goes, oh, you can get in front of me.

Well, I can't actually. You're in the fucking way. Yeah. Do you want a fucking donut or a chicken cheese melt? That's it. That's what you want. So it's like, OK, they don't have the food that they might have chicken. And then like Michael's like chicken cheese, great. And then I was like, what do you guys want? And I couldn't get an answer. And then eventually you just like, yeah, well, Michael's getting. And then milk, great. And then I was like, what do you guys want? And I couldn't get an answer.

And then eventually you just went like, yeah, yeah, well, Michael's getting. And then Nick just heard, yeah. And it was like, you don't even know what we're ordering. Well, he also did the thing. He also glued himself to the little dessert window. Well, I mean, as soon as I said, I said, oh, don't forget, we should get some Timbits.

Yeah, and then that's exactly what happened. Fuckin' Nick, he was on the other, we were around a table. Yep. And he was on the other side of it. So he had to like lean over the table and go, what'd you say? Yeah, dude, that's what happens to me every time. It happened to you now, now you know.

And I turned and looked at him, but he kept looking at like the display with the donuts and I'm just 10 donuts and I'm just looking at him. No! And he goes, I didn't hear you. So, so we ended up getting chicken and cheddar melts. Yes. I got an apple fritter and then we got-

You didn't finish. Nope. For some reason. And then- Nothing was wrong with it. Yeah, strange. Ha ha. Peculiar. Some reason and then nothing was wrong with it. Yeah strange He's going home he just has like algebraic formulas

But he half but it good Why he know eat more? And then we got uh, was it ten honey? Ten chocolate and those are are just donut holes. What about birthday cake? What? He had to say it. First of all, birthday cake sucks. Yeah. Yes it is.

It's inferior. Compared to honey? No, honey was better. I would eat them if they were there, but I would never order birthday cake. I don't dislike it, but I don't like it. It's not the first thing you go to. No.

You try other things and then- It's not the third thing I go to, which is why I said, no, we're not getting it. And he was like, but 10 more! We don't need 30 donut holes. Why not? He does. Yeah, he could have left with 12.

No, he wouldn't have. I think he still would have left with two. Yeah, I think you're probably right. Maybe three, one of each. So, so went to order. Have to go back just so he can do it. Went to order, stood at the register for such a long time. 40 seconds.

But it's okay because so many people were working there ignoring us. No one was taking our order, but there were like 10 employees at this tiny ass Tim Hortons. The guy who did take your order kept saying, sorry about that. Yep. He said it like three times. And it's like, I don't care, man. It's all good. Yeah. But he didn't say it like a Canadian.

No, that's why I think that would be part of the fun would be him saying sorry. So we said chicken cheddar melts. Sorry about it. And as he went to put in chicken cheddar melts a guy behind him went We might actually be out of chicken. Yeah, it's like noon Yeah I just maybe you know, it's the new it's the new thing. There's nothing to do. Was it you gotta know that I don't know I think it was relatively relatively new right but not like open this week. No, no No, it is it is new- They had like three sandwich options. Maybe I had a chicken.

So they weren't out of chicken. We got it. It just took a while. I do think they were out of bread. I got, I realized I showed you guys. I'm like, oh, they gave me the heel of the sandwich. One of my bread pieces is like the heel of the sandwich. I got good bread and he got burnt bread.

Yeah, and then you guys like laughed. You're like, ha ha, you got the heel of the sandwich whatever. They knew where it was going. Even though he handed us the boxes randomly. I took a bite, I set it back down. The other piece of bread, also the heel of the bread. I had a heel sandwich. I had the ends of the, they went like, well, sorry, dipshit.

Like, you picked it, you handed out the sandwiches dude. It was like, well, how do I get two heel pieces? Cause you handed out the sandwiches dude. It was like well How do I get two heel pieces cuz you chose that crazy you are the heel damn But we got all that I got a coffee Nick got a coffee the tiniest little coffee I know their coffees are small so small when you is that just a small size. Yeah, yeah, he got small I don't know why he got it with cream. There were too many questions. Oh, I just kept saying things I forgot I forgot when he ordered it. He's like, I'll get a small coffee. That he chimed in for.

Yep. He let you order the food. And that's fine. I got no problem with that. And then I just keep going, small, very small, small. And then he'd go, he leaves like cream and sugar. And you're like, yeah. And I went, small cream. Yep. And then small.

And then the guy went, how many creams? And it's like, and he goes just one and I went Maybe half a one small Saying that I was blocking you could have been you could have been throwing that guy for a loop It was like you did it was just like what what sir? I don't have a half coffee in the car We're half in throw the other half away It's a small car. I got a large. It's pretty it's like normal size This tastes a lot like this this is very, like,

7-Eleven flavored coffee. It tastes a lot like 7-Eleven coffee. Your favorite. I'll drink it. It's coffee, it's fine. It's just like- Is it hotter than 7-Eleven? God damn, it's hotter than 7-Eleven.

It's hotter than the sun. Now Jordan was saying, but this is good, cause you want it and you want to like hold it and go outside when you're in like Canada Yeah, they just go you got it. They give you Canada temperatures, but then Michael rightly pointed out It could have been like 40 degrees and you could have held it. The colder it is the less hot you need it to be Yeah, and it's all about relativity. It's relatively so it's actually the worst. Yeah You want to go from the coldest you can be to the hottest you can be?

Yeah, that's why they say, growing up, they always would say, if you're out in the snow and it's freezing and shit, if you come in and run your hands under water, use cold water. Cold water, yeah. Because scald your hands. You wouldn't know.

You wouldn't know because. You'd be melting your hands. So they gave you melting liquid magma coffee. It was so insane how much steam was coming off of it. It was nuts. It was so much steam, it was almost a spark. Yeah. It was like your coffee much steam was it was nuts it was it was so much steam it was almost a spark yeah Your coffee almost was on fire. It was so close like it was really sure bellowing pressure is coal powered It was bellowing steam, and he just go

That's still hot Blow on it to get like the steam to go away It wouldn't go away, and it would come back stronger. Maybe they heard what you said about Kirby Lang's pizza oven or something. It was crazy. It's like so much. I had the lid off the whole time. I couldn't drink any of it there.

I had to wait until we left. It was fucking nuts. He drank his. He had one small cream. He was like drinking it as you had yours. And he was like, short bitch. He was thinking it. He was thinking it., I could tell yeah, I was in his mind He's screaming at me for jaywalking again while taking the picture

Be more careful Well just just for a reference Eric also got a small it just looks really big compared to mine Yeah Hahahaha It's so tiny yeah, I mean like you drinking it for the caffeine That's but there's like if I get in some I would go small. I don't need more coffee than that I drink one cup a day That's all I know I just drink for flavor, but also since I'm not a coffee person

I just give me some flavoring and I'm fine. I don't give shit about like the coffee that's their thing they're right is they're fine with Starbucks no yeah you just like pump it up yeah you know give me my fucking frap yeah I like my caramel frap I like a black coffee with like if it's yeah hazelnut or or something like I don't have anything else in it the occasional Americano hmm that's what you got gotta get when you go like international. Yeah. Because you can't get drip coffee in England. Dude, when I was in Mexico, all they had was espresso

and I had one Americano and I went, well, it's an espresso weekend. I just kept going double espresso, baby. Just keep hitting me with the double espresso. It's espresso, cause it makes you go fast. Whee. Yeah. That's that me espresso.

This, yeah. But this place has the double double. They're world famous double double. That's that me expresso. Yeah. But this place has the Double Double. They're world famous Double Double. That's a cheeseburger, isn't it? Uh-uh, no sir. Double Double, I've never heard of this business. Do you not know about that?

No. Explain it now or die. I didn't know Tim Hortons was a hockey player until we walked in. Oh, well, we'll learn about that in the facts section. The Double Double at Tim Hortons is a coffee with two creams and two sugars. Wow!

So a coffee. What a Canadian thing. Yeah, double double. That's it. You're doubling the doubles. You know what I appreciate usually like at McDonald's? They don't ask. No!

You get coffee and they'll be like cream and sugar and you say yes and that's it. And they go for it. They just make it. Yep. I appreciate that. That's how it's supposed to. I don't care enough. To me that's it. And they go for it. They just make it. I appreciate that. That's how it's supposed to, I don't care enough. To me that's how it works. You're a McDonald's. It's not a coffee shop.

These are questions that don't need to be asked. That's why it was crazy how many. Can I go to a McDonald's and just linger without ordering anything? No! No, no, no, no, Starbucks. McDonald's you can. So I might make that.

You can linger outside of the drive-through and ask for money if you want So I might make that. You can linger outside of the drive-thru and ask for money if you want. I might make that my new coffee shop. Now, as a biter, they do not allow me to do this. Well, you've shown bad behaviors in the past. They give me piss cups. You want piss? I'll give you half coffee, half piss. Piss coffee, piss coffee. You want me a little piss coffee, boy? At least it wasn't a double-double. Yeah, double-double, piss, piss coffee. You can call me a little piss coffee boy. Okay, at least it wasn't a double double.

Yeah, double double, double piss, double coffee. We put in some number one, we put in some number two. But what, the thing about Tim Hortons is there's so much we don't know is that it's time to learn about it in the facts. I don't know anything. I actually, I cannot wait to learn about Tim Hortons. I can wait, but here we are.

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The first Tim Hortons restaurant opened in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The first US restaurant opened in 1985 in Amherst, New York. Fact taken from timhortons.com. Wow, 1985 seems so long ago for... It's only 20 years after. What I see as being like an exclusively Canadian coffee place. Yeah, you would say before you were born was a while ago.

Yeah. I wonder if we'll get any. Business man, he's making a fucking mess over there. Business man and restaurant owner Jim Charade was attempting to open a coffee and donut shop and felt he needed a star attached to get people on board, turning to four-time Stanley Cup winning hockey star, Tim Horton to invest.

Tim was not into the idea of coffee and donuts, so at his request, they opened a shop in Northern Ontario that sold hamburgs and hot dogs. Shockingly, this failed and they pivoted to coffee and donuts. Not sure what made the duo think the concussion addled athlete was the ideas man part of the group, but it was awful nice of Jim for letting him take a crack at it.

What the fuck is a hamburger, guys? Get real. Is that what Tim called them hamburgs? There's a huge sign. It is their first restaurant and it's like, welcome. And there's a big sign that says says serving hamburgs and hot dogs And it had to be this guy Tim you understand they're called hamburgers Heard as a kid either incorrectly or some dumb shit your parents say because they're stupid

This is what I grew up around I never questioned how fucking stupid it is. I think Jim Charade was like, is that what he means? I mean, I kind of just wanted to call him. He means hamburgers? What the fuck is hamburgers? Well, I got to make this fail so that way we can do the coffee thing.

So the thing about Tim Horton. Oh, it was all a charade you could say. The thing about Tim Horton is that they opened the restaurant and then two years later he died. Oh, no way. In a crazy car accident That is like I bet all Canadians know this from what I could read like hey there might be like conspiracy about this I I love it. Uh-huh. So like a crazy taxi. Yeah

So Tim Hortons lived on So Tim Hortons lived on more than Tim Horton, but for some reason, like they just went, well there's, we have one coffee shop. They kept the name, could have named it anything after that and went, well let's keep Tim's memory. That's, yeah. That's what he was thinking. Oh fuck, I finally got somebody on board with this shit. I still need that star power.

And what's better than dead star power I still need that star power. It's also and what's better than dead star, huh? Well dead athletes star power and he managed to win four Stanley Cups in them and only two not full season And then he had two additional I took a picture of this so I could read it. Uh-huh. There's a sign It's like a memorial a, it's like a Memorial, like a mural, a mural, a mural, a mural. Tim's up there to Tim Horton in his Buffalo Sabres Jersey. And I go, Oh, I didn't know he played for Buffalo. No one did because it says Tim Horton won four Stanley cup championships before being acquired and signed by the Buffalo Sabres where he played nearly two seasons with the team in 1973. He was named MVP and his performance assisted the Sabres in winning their first playoff appearance Today Tim's legacy lives on as one of the 100 greatest NHL players in history as the inspiration behind Tim Horton's

Children Foundation and as the founder of this incredible brand. What team did he win the championship doesn't matter Yep, so why is that fact up there? Almost till two seasons. Wow. And he won a playoff appearance. Whoa, cool. That's almost as good as four Stanley Cups. Yeah.

Why is that up there? I don't know. I want to know about his successes, not Buffalo. Also, it's weird that it's just called Tim Hortons, and that's just his name or whatever. Are there other athletes that have restaurants that are just their names? Vince Youngs. Okay, that have gotten to like a level like that.

Vince Youngs! Like there's Vince Youngs. In San Diego, we had Seow's. That was a restaurant, it was just Junior Seow. And he had a restaurant called Seow's. Cool. Then you go in and go, ow! Then he took himself out the game

and now Seow I was in there anymore Yeah, he did Tim Horton style But like are there there must be other athlete restaurants like that? Um, I don't think there's anything as big as Tim Horton's no right forming grill. Yeah But like the Tim Horton thing so big and it's just his name I didn't know he's a hockey player until I wrote this I don't know until I walked in the first run. Exactly. There you go. That's Tim Horton rest in peace. And I still don't know what team he played for.

Yeah. And they don't want you to know. What do you mean? You must be confused. Almost two full seasons with the Buffalo Sabres. I'm starting to think they don't want me to know. I'm starting to think he didn't actually win these four Stanley Cups.

Interesting. I'm sure it was with Montreal, right? They win everything. Oh, speaking of. Okay. In 1977, Tim Hortons became Tim Hortons, minus the apostrophe S. After the Quebec political party, Parti Quebecois... Cool. I was waiting to hear that one.

...passed the law making French the sole language of Quebec. Because of large fines facing English business names, and the apostrophe being an English only punctuation mark, Tim Horton to drop the apostrophe worldwide. Congratulations to Quebec. Surely France took notice of this landmark move and you guys left Canada to join France by now, right? Hello? Bonjour? He's speaking Quebecois. The whole province of fucked up accents and they they have to show for it is maple syrup

and Norm MacDonald. You're not better than Ontario, bud. Yeah, no, I'll go out. Hey, I'll jump on that bandwagon. Yeah, they- Ontario rules, Quebec rules. They made them drop the apostrophe. Fucking crazy.

Well, they didn't want to call it like, Le Cafe des Tim Hortons. Yeah, of course. No, why would you? Yeah, change the colors to blue and white, the Quebecois bullshit. The thing, Quebec is such a fucking mess. That's so, it's so dumb. Yeah, that's right.

Everything is in French first, and then in English second. That's it. They just go, dude, we fucking love France? Yeah. They're not, but also we've butchered their language. They're not part of France. They don't have anything to do with France. They have their own. Nation was owned by England. They were until like part of the Commonwealth still until like the nineties.

It was like the queen. The queen is on their money. I'm pretty sure. And so Quebec went, we like France now. Yeah. And then and now Tim Hortons got the apostrophe. We're going old school. We're going old school. We're going back to when it was French. Yeah. Vermont you can come too. Come on in baby. Although a Canadian institution, Tim Hortons, no apostrophe yes, has been bought and sold many times by American fast food groups wanting to get in on Tim's chokehold on the Canadian coffee and food market. In the 90s, Tim Hortons merged with Wendy's, which outraged many, but they eventually regained independence in 2006. But don't worry because Burger King bought them in 2014 so you know the quality

to get the newest time. That was the year after I tried them. But American superiority reigned supreme even in the great white north. Honestly, if taking over Canadian institutions was this easy ten years ago, we get why it's being talked about so much again. Greenland, you're next via Carl's Jr. maybe. Enjoy a famous star bitch they're gonna rename nuke to to Carl's Jr. bird so you were asking about the expansion into like weird

tour territories like the US makes a lot of how they're doing it and like the quality decline and everything makes a lot of sense loves the Burger King is the culprit Burger King the the culprit. Burger King. The King is sneaking in the background. He's always sneaking. To get rich. But they also, they have, I think they have a law or they have something in Canada

that they passed specifically for this because something that had happened originally with Wendy's and Tim Hortons is that they would pair, Tim Hortons would be like, hey, let's build a duo restaurant where it would be Wendy's and Tim Hortons is that they would pair, Tim Hortons would be like, hey, let's build a duo restaurant where it would be Wendy's and Tim Hortons. So that way it's like, we're doing the breakfast.

You're going to the combination Wendy's, Tim Hortons. It's that. So they would do it with that. They would do it with Cold Stone Creamery. And then eventually Tim Hortons is like, we're not doing that anymore. And then Burger King said, great, here's billions of dollars.

And then Canada went, you can't do combination, you cannot combine anymore with Tim Hortons. We're not doing combination Burger King, Tim Hortons. They're their own separate things they cannot share. Also, it would deter people from going to the Tim Hortons. Absolutely. If you saw it was being, just being that close to a Burger King. What are you talking about?

Tim Hortons isn't doing trickle down economics with Burgerdown economics yeah yeah I think Burger King might be a deterrent yeah so I think that's why they're expanding in the US in such like weird ways or whatever it's just Burger King going I'm going here yeah how about this guy's neighborhood there's a VP of Burger King who's like I like Tim Hortons pulling by my house he Yeah, he just does it He just lives in Round Rock Fucking bizarre he drives the Porsche. That's who was in that poor. He's he's got one asset Yeah, that car. I hope I don't crash it. Oh

But yeah Burger King, but not Kate Greenland. You're next. Um, I wanted to say talking about like being bought and sold By us I just read Trudy's yeah in Austin staple gone is gone Surprisingly they were bought by private equity in 2020 what a shock lasted five years. Huh? What a shock? Yeah a crazy thing I looked at a Trudy's over the weekend. Oh, yeah, you saw it kids birthday party next to it Yeah, I'm telling you there's always a goddamn birthday party. Thanks to the truth. No just in just one to go to but this one was next to Trudy Okay for now. I'm like I was like half sad about it cuz it's like oh no Trudy's is gone But also I've been doing yeah reason and they got good feed is tell you that I'd always get that was it a what was that?

There's the Mexican martini and Nick did you ever did the challenge Because they cut you off three they cut you off at two Yeah, I had a location and then you you would just go to another one. I started it, but then dry January you know Shouldn't have started December 30th. I Figured grace you would help me push it to like the 21st. Oh, yeah, like really get it well now You couldn't do there's that was the last one yep all done was in like you have to make your own I Forget what it was it was a like fried avocado something. Oh really yeah

Well, they're all gone now. We're toast No, no, it wasn't toast. I mean they're toast ball When are they toast closed now? They just they just closed like that yesterday. Are you serious? Yeah? Oh my god Yeah, yes, it was Saturday. Yes, right and shining. Yeah about going there yeah I think that's what happened to treaties to think a lot of people. I think a lot of people were like oh hey Trudy's Yeah, I don't bring my kids to Trudy's. That a lot of people I think a lot of people were like oh hey Trudy's yeah, I don't bring my kids to Trudy's That's a that's yes work. You just mean them and like are we sat down and you're already bored. Yeah, fuck It's gonna be 45 minutes to food

Give me fucking food, please. Yep one more fact one more fact the final fact And maybe we'll answer all of Jordan's questions Yep, or not don't know what team he played for in January of year, a Montreal law firm is suing Tim Hortons and others claiming they unfairly charged customers extra for non-dairy milk substitutes in their lattes. The problem with this lawsuit is that a week before the filing, Tim Hortons put out a press release saying they would no longer be charging more for non-dairy substitutes. Classic French, always late. Is that a stereotype? Are we

good with dogging on the French? Nick kept telling us it's fine, but he's also still calling them freedom fries and telling us they're quote, telling us quote, they're next after Greenland. So we don't know if he's the right litmus test for this. Socret Blue! Face bomb. Black and white. Black and white emoji. He never told you who they played played for oh, I don't know He played for well you said that and he's like wait till the fact yeah, yeah, the information. Yeah, okay cool um

France is next got it. Yeah, thanks for the information. Uh-huh. Yeah, no problem. That's and those are the facts I don't want France. I'm neither do I yeah, they don't want Canada or Greenland Neither do I! I don't want Canada or Greenland What can happen? Again, we talked about this earlier where it was like Let's think about logistically how this would happen And I just went, let's not Because nothing is going to happen and it doesn't matter

We should not even be entertaining you I want to do hard anal cysts Give me the hard anal Hard anal cyst breakdown Oh! Oh, he played for the Leafs Give me the heart anal. Heart anal cyst breakdown. Oh Oh he played for the Leafs That's why it's on the cup they couldn't say it. Oh he gave us all the clues mr. Policeman Yeah, I'll give you shit where he played Yeah

Too short Now is that, is that where he won all four of his Stanley Cups? Yes Three years in a row and then a couple years That's pretty good Did four in three years? That's pretty sick The three Pete That's pretty good. Well he was playing as another guy in disguise

He got two Stanley Cups one year Soccer blue Repeat that's pretty well. He was playing as another guy One year soccer blue he was Tim Horton and him torten They're really all together, but they're never on the ice at the same time. There's something Box again here comes Torrin where's Horton? He's missing from the bounty box must be having a cigarette break Yeah, they had those back then I'm pretty sure that probably did in the box I don't think they had to leave yeah people were smoking on ice They were like on the penalty box aka my cigarette Zamboni was initially invented to clean up cigarettes like I guess we smooth the ice out

It was an accidental byproduct brand the frozen sweet street sweeper Call them him Torton Jim Horton, Oh him Torton him Oh him Torton He's Torton all right, hey Hamburg yeah Orton I barely know him. We went to this location and it had like a postage stamp

of a cow on the side. Yeah, with some cowboy boots. Yeah, yeah, it was like, Hey y'all. It was like, oh, I guess this is the only one. I kinda liked it. I thought it was kinda cute. I don't know why it was there.

I don't know if they do it at every location that's not Canada. Plug that in. No. Bro, I'm rocking 50, I'm gonna go. Yeah, I don't know why it was there. I don't know if they do it at every location That's not Canada. Put that in No, I'm rocking 50. I'm gonna go. Oh shit And then Nick insisted on blocking it when we took the picture. Yep, and he did yeah, you say block it He got down and went yeah But then you didn't take the picture. Yeah, there's no proof proof and I said, why are you opening your mouth? Why not? And he said What do your mouth? Why not and he said?

What do you mean? Why not? I thought it didn't happen Why wouldn't I have if it did? Who's Frodo I Was another thing in the right a look he was like who are you agreeing with? I don't even know what we were talking So really I did too, but none of us were really that concerned about it. I was like, you know, we were going slow enough, and there was nobody there, and it's not my car. If this is how it happens, whatever. Wouldn't be the first car accident we got into.

He'd probably hit somebody with insurance this time. Oh, fuck. We could only hope. And a valid driver's license. It was so fucking funny just leaving that I mean his reaction was funny it wasn't funny anyway he was I might be the best thing I've heard I was like that's I was like that's really sad for us that's not that's like that's how you get someone in the show oh dude dude dude dude these guys are hilarious

Listen to this, listen to this, listen to this But then someone else said he was like who's Frodo? I almost crashed a car Were you drunk? No, but I only ate half my fritter I was feeling weird We immediately start filling in gaps like immediately so it's's not just like no. Yeah, it's Frodo It's like Eric is now concocted a situation and that was Nick Nick would walk in and go hey guys Yeah, that's what I said. I said I walked in when a Nick. How are you who's Frodo? Who's Frodo watch the ride along oh?

This guy's crazy like pump Tom bump a dill pump up a little bump on the watch and you can't heart jerk that tree off a pump Tom but don't him tort and dude him be tort for sure Tim's to op that's why they could have been moving oh my god oh you kicked me well your feet are I am I am fine Must be must be

You must have probably oh we definitely got dessert. I don't think we did. Oh, I know we did I'll look it up ten minutes later. Yeah, I Couldn't find it, so I just abandoned it and I was looking at something else. And what's that? She was right about Randy, though. She was right. Well, no, she wasn't. She wasn't right about Randy. She was right that it was said, not in the context. She was right about that. She didn't know what it meant. Yeah. But then also was even more confusing and I didn't want to get into it because she's like, is that what that means? I've been saying that to people. And it's like, but what you thought it meant isn't what we

said. And I don't know what you did think it meant. How are you using it? She didn't understand it. The way she was whispering to me is like, it's a word we shouldn't be saying. She kept whispering to you in the middle of a podcast. I'm so confused too.

I was like, I was like, Rainy, I don was like, that's a word we shouldn't be saying. Everything said. What are you talking about? Who's Frodo? She said Chinese finger trap. That was so funny. I forgot about that. Oh, crazy.

Dude, just even, you can't say that. Really? Really? Yeah. And Jordan just going, Michael, stop. Oh crazy, you can't say that yeah, really huh really Yeah, mmm, and Jordan just going Michael stop Really and all we keep saying is stop listening to Michael. That's what that sign is Or listen to him slowly Just replace the slow sign with think think think about it Tim Horton spinach and feta savory egg pastry. Why did you write format again? Is that what the boots called was it called format? No credulous look on his face

I Looked and I went maybe I copied and pasted it. It's not written anywhere like that I uh, I don't know. At the top of the show I said format as a joke, but I guess I was just reading the name of the food. Maybe I was just excited. Alright so here's- That must have been it. He typed format whenever he was excited. Here's just getting on the Tim Horton Spinach and Feta Savory Egg Pastry format.

It is my wedding anniversary format. The Tim- The Tim Selects value lineup highlights the new Spinach andeta savory egg pastry $3.99 is that Canadian? Yes, plus three popular menu items the everything bagel and cream cheese $3.19 four cheese omelet bites $3.99 and red pepper and Swiss savory pinwheel $2.99 fuck you they saw I didn't have any of

those things I wonder if their bagels are any good yeah probably not those things they any of those four no it have some sort of omelet they didn't even mention the the melted cheese I think they had the like a spinach omelet bite I just saw a sign there was a different thing that wasn't a savory egg there wasn't like a pastry it was like a guy's I'm not a fan of egg bites But I guess I've only had them at Starbucks, and I think they suck yeah, those are they suck ass I'm a fan of eggs and damn near any form yeah And it's like you've destroyed the soul of the only good thing it's Starbucks is that like breakfast sandwich with the good

I'm baking egg yeah bacon egg and good. It's pretty good, but it's this big yeah They've been so they've been drinking it. And this is not even like being a fat fuck. I would get to, I would always get to, cause if I liked it, I'd be like, wow, this is it's gone and it was $7. Nick pointed out a picture of one of their breakfast burritos on the menu. Yeah. Very strange looking. He just got on. What is that? What's that? Look at that. What is that? Look at that picture of the burrito I go, where is it the bottom right? That's avocado toast. It goes next to it. Yep, and it was like, oh They're like, is that a hole next to that? I don't even know that he's related to bill

But even a little bit chicken and cheeseini, and I guess a medium Frodo? Sir, I don't think you know what that is. You're right. Thank you! Frappo! Frappo! Frappo! Put it in the Froppo bag.

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Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario Do you guests love Tim's I think I would wager that quote guests love Tim's What a weird way to start a guest love Tim's for our high quality

deliciously craveable menu items available at excellent everyday value," says Carolina Bertie, Vice President of Category and Innovation for Tim Hortons. Canada's weird, man. But they keep saying the same things even up there. We're excited that our Tim Selects menu highlights four delicious everyday core menu options that are baked fresh daily, served warm, and offer incredible value starting at just $2.99 CAD probably. Mm-hmm. All of these menu items pair perfectly with a cup of Canada's favorite coffee. Is that also Tim's? Yeah.

Or are they saying go somewhere else? Oh, go somewhere else. Yeah. Go to Second Cup and try it. I just learned about Second Cup. So if you're in Canada, and I said that you got excited. I tricked you idiot Yeah, I actually don't know you know what's you know what's really brothers up there. You know what's confusing Stanley Cups yeah, and how many you win and where you can only put two seasons a little no

I mean like I go to the store in their sad exactly what I'm saying those Stanley They're called Stanley Cups. They come with like little charms and attachments. I guess every kid at school played in the NHL Stanley Cup. They're handing them out like Stanley Cup Stanley Cup Participation trophies that way is that what Tim Horton had four of just? So he what he bought was like before they were like yeah He was really just like seeing ahead of the curve. Yeah, nobody I did the NHL let this happen Yeah, can you sell Stanley Cups? So he got four and then just randomly got traded to Buffalo where he played almost two full seasons Wow, I'd like the trendier yetis. Yeah, everybody loves them. Got to have a Stanley Cup like 30 bucks

Yep, those were those were nice Stanley Cups at the Tim Hortons And they were selling them but they were like they were like 30 bucks like yeah like to spend yeah those those those like metal cups with the little either slide lid or the snap lid they're nice cups dude Nick's got his one that's good too I have one at home that's at home

cup because it's fucking huge yeah I don't carry that around does that even fit in your cup holder it does that's why the bottom small Yeah, but it's still pretty big. No. It's large cuz you still got to grab it like a gorilla. Yeah No, I know it's good like your Mike's go look at Nick from the ice Mike go It's good at home and car it is like an impressive amount of amount of car water, but I don't walk around with those things.

They're huge. I left them, I have that big yeti cup with my name on it, and it's just too cumbersome to carry around. That's my story. Well, we have a review of Tim Hortons, but we need to hear what you have to say in a segment we call You Review, which Gracie recorded a jingle for.

You Review. And it's playing now. It's weird, he didn't- He whimpered. He literally whimpered. It was like a hmm. So it wasn't a whimper, it was, the sound of it not happening.

No. Yeah, I'm trying to think of a better word for it, but it was, no, it's not. I'm not doing that so the first two are from other Tim Hortons, but the I think the last one is from that Tim Hortons that we went to okay cool So which one is this first one from one in like Ontario? Okay cool. Yeah, I'll take this one. Okay Malty food

Chewy hash browns yucky No comma don't go here unless you like cold food. Green eggs and ham, a wonderful book, a horrible experience to eat. Wonderful book, I read it every day to myself. This is my favorite book! I'm 43 years old. I still think about it every day. Yucky hash browns! Chewy hash browns, yucky! Yucky. Chewy hash browns, yucky. Green eggs and ham! Cold food? What about the coffee? Well, if I like cold food, would I like

Tim Hortons? Don't go here, unless you like cold food. Oh, I do? Okay, cool. Go, go, go. Sure, you're in the next one, I'll wait for the third one. Okay, cool. I read the first line, it's gross. This get your next one. I'll eat the third. Okay, cool Read the first lines gross. Here's that this is from Kate F There was a massive booger in my bagel. I Am disgusted a giant booger in the cream cheese of my bagel

I tried calling the location and no one answered. I couldn't be more grossed out. Oh, she has a picture That sure looks like a booger in her bagel hard to see um Very very hard to see but bagel. I guess I'll send it to Nick uh the idea The idea that this is when you hear that clap go back and now you know where to put the Gracie He's helping I just gave you a hot tip it

I don't know another way to put it other than it looks like a booger in her bag Yeah, right, but whose booger is it that I that I can't tell you what kind of cream cheese was it? Strawberry like don't be surprised tough tough tough tough tough tough. It's called everything yeah You know I'm still wondering if the bugger is my bagel These uh these were two very good you reviews just for like Chewy chewy hash browns yucky and booger in my bagel. It's a giant booger in the cream cheese period Oh my bagel period. I have a booger in the cream cheese period. Oh my bagel. I have a friend I try to call the location to know an answer. I mean, are aren't you there already?

Yes, you had it delivered. Maybe yeah, you're eating in a restaurant. There's a booger here and you go I'm gonna go home and call about this. Yeah I have a friend who works in like PR and some of the stuff that she has to do or people she works with has to do they go through and reply to oh fun reviews that people leave like this oh and they have to go oh thank you for reviewing I'm sorry about your experience talking to her yesterday or whatever and there were just a few that were like somebody was complaining about Their complication about an urgent why did they just ride the Eagles?

Nick doesn't even understand that Eagles what they were sports team they had left a review on an urgent care that they went to and they said do not go To this urgent care avoid at all costs it is filled with sick people Wait what they're trying to say like they're sick people And I just wanted to I told her reply with thank you due to the nature of our business that is what an urgent care is Unfortunately, we can't do much about that. We are telling the sick people to come Guys, unfortunately we can't do much about that. We are telling the sick people to come here. Go away! Go away! Are you sick? Gone.

I don't want to alarm you, but I went south of the border and there's a lot of immigrants. Beware! Oh my god. Beware! You go to Mexico and you go, What's immigrants doing here? Everyone's going in my vacation spot. It's how I felt being in Cancun. I'm like ah ugly American walking around fuck this sucks You can say look like

So excited to bring that up today That's pretty funny. That's his favorite. It was pretty funny. That and he's his mom. Yeah. I just wanted you to be safe in the parking lot. All right, the final review from John G. Whoa.

From Memento. You're saying this was the one we went to. Yes, I believe this is the one that we went to. This was our first time trying Tim Hortons and the experience was disappointing. At the drive-through, Rye Bae rushed us repeatedly, asking if we were ready multiple times, even after we clearly stated we needed a moment.

At one point, he even said, we are just waiting on you, which felt unnecessary, and pressured us further. We didn't get the chance to calmly review the menu. It seemed like the manager, an older gentleman, took over at the window, but we still weren't able to correct our order. I don't recommend this location to anyone in the area. The staff needs better training to handle busy times without rushing customers. Since this location is new, they should understand that customers might need extra time to familiarize themselves with their menu options.

Fuck off! You stupid fuck! Hey, we were in the middle of lunch rush! They have four food items and donuts! And coffee! Hey fuck off How come they tried to get me through here fast? Dude I wish more places went hurry up Cuz I'm screaming it like my car like the people McDonald's How do you not know what you want? On the inside there should have been like hey if you're not ordering move I could you you could say this is like extra steps like I shouldn't have to do this

It's 2025 pull up your fucking phone Yep When you're in the drive-through behind someone and look at the menu if you don't know the drive-through is for sake for going fast That's it. It's very convenient. That's it Parking lot and then look at the menu like I'm just sorry. That's not an excuse in to go Well, I don't want to look at my phone fuck you do it anyway I don't care get out of the way that and when people I see them pull up to the drive-thru and when I see them turn yeah and I know they're at figure it out before you get here yep hey what

do they sell here yeah so like they sell Tim's yeah they got Timbalands or what Horton's in a box of Tim Tams. Yeah, the, uh, the, I, uh, the thing that I like about this one is we didn't have a chance to review the menu. Okay. I don't recommend this location to anyone in this area. The staff needs better training to handle busy times without rushing customers. Hey, we're in the middle of the lunch rush.

And I'm going, um, I'm okay. I'm okay. Yeah. Yeah. What about me? This is literally again, we already said the people's inside standing the fuck in front of us. Yeah. Not in line going, well, you go,

I don't know what I'm getting. I don't know what I'm getting either. You go. That woman was ordering when we left. When we left. We were there for a while. We were there for a while. We were there for a while, the sandwiches took a while. We had to be there 15 minutes, 20 minutes at least.

20 minutes. 15, 20 minutes. She was in line when we got there. She was ordering when we left. That's crazy. If that person was in the drive-through, I would be screaming. Also, at one point he even said,

"'We are just waiting on you.'" I, good! Here's how he said it. He even said we are just waiting on you. I yeah, here's how he said it Okay, we're we're just waiting on you. Let me know. Yeah, I know when you're ready waiting on you. That's okay How dare you? This urgent cares full of sick people it felt unnecessary and pressured us further pressure you're doing fucking food They want to know what you want You're in the drive-thru. That's not a pressure. You're right by nature meant to go fast through this thing also pressure You're ordering food at Tim Hortons. You're not you're not winning You want you're not winning for Stanley cups or going to the Buffalo Sabres for all those seasons

The steak the steaks are we didn't get the chance to calmly review the menu We didn't get a chance to calm any review we had the regular review which for me regular review is crazy The Calmly review, we had the regular review, which for me, regular review is crazy chaotic review. Calmly review the menu. Waitin' on you. Dude, you're not looking at the menu at the Cheesecake Factory, where there's 12 pages of food. There's 12 items total.

There are donuts, coffee, and three or four foods, and they might not even have the chicken, okay? It is, you're like, oh, I figured we'll get the chicken or whatever, which I'm fine with. It's like a melt, like a little panini. Sure. Also, I was like, what else is there? Like, I'll get that, because that's the food.

It's that and egg bites, and I'm burned. Egg bites have scorned me, and there was nothing else. It was chicken and cheese or cheese. Yep. Ah Stop rushing me I'm gonna start doing are you talking about next time? Eric asked me what I want Yeah, I can't calmly review the menu to calmly review Fucking god damn dude. Well, that's what you had to say in your review, but we have a review of Tim Hortons ourselves.

I thought the manager was gonna be the good guy. It turned out he was just another solemn man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who?

Yeah. Oh, wait, who? Well, we have our own review. Jordan, what'd you think of Tim Hortons all the way up in Round Rock or I guess Northwest Austin? I just thought it was Northwest of us, Eric. Yeah, he did say it's Northwest. Changing his tune.

He did say it was Northwest, and me knowing nothing but anything, well, look at the map, it's up and to the left. I think that's Northwest. I think it checks the two boxes I don't give a shit where it is but yes it's that way yeah he's right that was to the left I thought this was the definition of mid and as a result it will be getting not a mid score. Oh, 99. Because mid doesn't actually mean middle.

That's right. No, it doesn't, which is mid means sucks, which is just stupid. Did you see the comment on Instagram today about that? No. They said, oh wow, this. Oh, it's Kirby Lane mid. Yeah, they said like, wow, this, like the most,

they went to the most mid Kirby Lane and then it just impaired that. I was like, Gen Z meaning. And I was like, oh, that's good. They mean this one sucks I think I know we talked about how that Kirby Lane is lame It is I'll take a mid Kirby Lane any day over a pristine. I hop dude. Yeah Also, there's no such thing gray. Yeah, there's also no such thing as a pristine I hop yeah. Well an I hop standard. Yes Maybe maybe when one first opens,

Yeah, right. When you're the first one in there. Well, I need to calmly review the menu. Don't rob me. I'm not done ordering yet. No, no, but I could eat. Ah! That chicken melt thing.

The chicken melt thing was like so weird strange it was very sure it wasn't bad I said it tasted Canadian and I don't know another way like what kind of cheese was it I don't cheddar I think it was like an odd cheddar yeah I liked like I liked the flavor of it it was just it did not it was strange it did not taste like I thought it was it this anyway I thought it was like a tad greasy and then like flat It was definitely like Starbucks. It looked pretty yeah, it wasn't it wasn't great wasn't like super processed or like gas station food But it wasn't like well. This is it wasn't like fucking Nando's like fuck. Yeah, this is like a real sandwich Mm-hmm it did taste strange. Yeah

It was fine though mm-hmm. Yeah pretty fine I was actually a little disappointed with the tin bits too. You were like like the Burger King, bro. Yeah, the chocolate ones were like way fresher. Yeah, the honey ones You both had a lot to say I just put them in my mouth I mean yeah, look at the end of the day. Well several bites. They're doughnuts. Right right right. I'm saving it! They are doughnut holes at the end of the day and they're pretty unoffensive by I Thought one was was worse than the other like the chocolate one seemed fresher. It's fair. I Am I imagine birthday cake? Yeah, I fuck don't like green with me. Yeah, well, he's kind of a green right for what?

He's agreeing with you, but also agreeing with himself because he's saying that like honey sucks. No, that's not what I'm saying. Yeah, it is. It is. It is what he's saying. Absolutely. He's like, I was right, chocolate's better, even though your argument is just, well one was stale and one wasn't. And he's going, right, so chocolate's better than honey. It is. It always is. You guys listen to Nick. That's true.

That's yeah Michael's getting and they went yeah, it was like we're listening and I went yeah, we're all getting what I said because we Know you would have that's right, so I really just thought it was okay. I mean uh-huh It was fine 43% okay. Yeah, it was fine. It's, they were donuts. It was a Starbucks-esque sandwich. Yeah. Not crap, but I wouldn't be like, I love it. I'll go there. I would, I would much sooner specifically go for it

cause I love it. And even though it's crap, it's crap I like, like people watching Practical Jokers, the steak egg and cheese bagel from McDonald's. Like that is like something I want that I know I like, like people watching practical jokers, the steak, egg, and cheese bagel from McDonald's. Like that is like something I want that I know I like. I pull up and they're like, hey, McDonald's, what can I get for you? And I go, I did the mobile order

and they can I have the code? And I go FK22. Order from Michael, spaghetti on your head. Spaghetti on your head, oh, what? Yeah, I got one spaghetti on my head and a steak, egg, and cheese bagel. This is not that It's not like I gotta have it. I'm with you. It's in the 40s. I get a 48 48 If you're a longtime Canadian, yeah

You know how it went down. Let us know in the comments if Tim Hortons is getting worse. Yeah, cuz I'm curious It doesn't affect my judgment much, but it is like it's okay That okay scale goes down Just based on the amount people talk about to your words like like we will talk about in and out Compared to mine. Yeah, I mean I guess I guess I didn't get the coffee, but I didn't feel like I'm missing out You miss anything you said it was like 7-eleven. Yeah, it's fine. Yep. Oh everything about this is not bad Yeah, but it's not like, I gotta go. I way more freaked the fuck out about going to Chick-fil-A.

Yeah. 45.5 is the score. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that for this Dunkin' Donuts ass place. Like this is Canadian Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' Donuts has bangin' bagels. And now I don't know if I want a booger bagel. Oh, but you can get a booger bagel.

I didn't know they had bagels. Yeah, if you want one with a booger in it, they can do that. I can do booger bagel. Oh, but you can get a booger bagel. I didn't know they had bagels. Yeah, if you want one with a booger in it, they can do that. I can do booger bagel. You do booger bagel? I'll put my own boogers. I think they're donuts. That's Impractical Jokers.

I think their donuts might be better than Dunkin's. Well, no, they do boogers probably too. I think their donuts are probably better than Dunkin's too. I didn't think we were going after Impractical Jokers again. That was fun. I'm not going after them. I'm going I'm going after yeah I love spaghetti head It's just my favorite thing

It's like a fucking it would be like on interdimensional cable and like Rick and Morty You watch the spaghetti head again? It's like, yeah, I don't know. It's like, I used to eat. Every episode, it gets kind of same-sy. It gets spaghetti in his head, and it's kind of same-sy, but, you know, at the same time, it just makes me feel good. Boy, it is. It's just my comfort.

It's just my comfort. Did you see that one episode where he didn't put spaghetti on his head? This is from KinglerKong on the subreddit. And it's just like a radical joke. He's like, I have spaghetti on his head. This was this is from Kingler Kong on the subreddit Somebody else was trying not to fall for the impractical Joker slander bait, and it's like Yeah, we baited you it's not bait. I feel like you're doing some inner reflection listen listen It's okay to like it. I'm trying to convince us. It's good. That's what I said I like a lot of crap that I like, but it's not good. I love stupid bullshit It's fine. That's popular. That's just not the kind of stupid bullshit I'm into. Yeah, it uh, but man the I just think that

Put the spaghetti on your head Sal is the funniest way to sum up It's for some reason is And for some reason That's it For some reason, boy, does it get the, it gets the mad It gets that pasta boiling They don't do that! They don't put spaghetti on their heads! They haven't done that since season 2!

They're on season 43! Oh my god Uh, well hey, if you want to support us Now they wear roller skates inside Whoa! The roller skate challenge! I'm gonna wear roller skates to the grocery store. Oh no, right into the spaghetti. Oh, not again.

Why, what did we make? Oh, I just stacked the melons. Yeah, and then it cuts to the guys in the other room. Hey, go into the melons. Yeah, just film it all later, it's great. Go to 100%eat.store for merch. Oh, we're done. Yeah, grab a shirt, grab a hat. You got Michael Jordan podcast. You get that week at patreon. Go to 100% eat dot store for merch. Oh, we're done. Yeah, grab a shirt. Grab a hat

You got Michael Jordan podcast you get that we hate patreon.com slash 100 We gotta sell this hat and then we could say my by Michaels hat You want to sell Michaels one specific hat? No, no, no, we get a hat like that. Oh, and then I stop I start wearing it and then people are just like I like this. I like this hat. Yeah Okay, do your Michael cosplay. There it is. Jordan, anything from Patreon you wanna talk about? Yeah, we have a 100% fan shout out.

Which, if you sign up at patreon.com slash 100% eat, become a 100% fan, you get a shout out on this show. Boom, hit them with it. Also, if you're already a 100% fan. Oh yeah, resend. Yeah, send in another shout out. New year? We resend for the new year. Yep. That's cool. This one is from Shamus, who is our newest 100% fan. Oh cool. And this is a hammering that says, this one goes out to my brother. Oh boy. Odin. It's a very Irish name spelling, but he said spell it, spell it. Oh, a D H

a N. Oh Jesus. Odin. Thanks for the Christmas present. Idiot. Did you think just because you paid a hundred dollars for this, I wouldn't use it to hammer you get real Bozo. A! Odin gifted Seamus And he got hammered That's fucking awesome The gift that keeps on getting That's pretty cool I got my brother's Christmas gift, I think this is so great Hey fucking idiot! Thanks for the gift

Wake up dipshit! Thanks Seamus and Odin That's fucking awesome, that's really funny That's really really great Jordan, take off your lid. Take off your lid. Monkey juice. You can also gift a sub at patreon.com slash 100% eat slash gift. Follow us at 100% eat on Twitter and Instagram.

Close. Glad you drank it. And send stuff to 100%treat. PO Box 14-3241 Austin, Texas 78714 PO box 14 32 41 Austin Texas 77 one speaking of Canada Madison our biggest Canadian fan sent us a huge box like when I went to the PO box had to go behind the counter for no cool oh my god why do one guys you know by the way talk about gifting got an email your payment for 100% eat failed to go through Your membership will expire on January 12 All right payment method couldn't be processed to keep your membership update your payment method in your membership settings

Are you gonna do it January 14? Well? You got now Michael. Here's the thing We'll just add you so you don't have to do it. Oh, I thought you could only have two people. Don't worry about it. Oh, okay. I mean, when I go to watch an episode and I can't, I'm gonna be pissed. Why?

Can I say I almost redid it? And I went, this just seems like the time. Yeah, yeah. It's a new year. He just went all trash at you now. Here was my- Dude, that's coffee. Here was what I was confused about. How am getting that now I was gonna say that was months ago

No, it's an old credit card. I think it was months ago. I think sometimes it gives you a grace period I gave a hell of a grace period If it gave me a bunch of grace period doesn't mean I owe money Yeah, yeah, you owe us money. Yeah, it would have been months. Yeah pay up I haven't had that I haven't had that card for a month. That's awesome That's why I was so confused cuz I just assumed it magic switched Yeah, and it's like hey, and it lists the last four digits, and it's my old card. I'm like January

So I've been in the system. We want to cut this out because people are gonna cancel and then get free for a couple So I've been gaming the system. We want to cut this out because people are going to cancel and then get free for a couple more. No! Were you getting charged? I have no idea. I assumed. I mean, I think I closely examined my bill that well.

I mean, maybe you should before we start telling people to steal from us. And we're back. I got boxed out. You got boxed out? I got boxed out and then Nick read my credit card out loud. So we had to cut it. Nick assaulted me with a coffee cup. Oh, yeah

He threw like 50 pieces of paper to you know time. It's cuz I'm not being funny enough There you go now you're doing better now you're doing better you got something you want to share or we know I want No, and wrap it up. All right, we're done. Shut up. Yeah, we did it I did everything else in the thing while you guys were playing with papers. I know I was just making sure I know if that was a you're checking out Waiting to share I didn't keep looking that way. I didn't keep looking. I'm looking at you. Yes. No, I know Hey that you can look at me on screen. Yeah, that's where the action is. I'm poor of me here Got him. I think okay, right subscribe tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food

You're off to done. Yep. It's done. He's done. Who's Frodo after that? You g-game nothing makes sense anymore Remember it I'm dotting the I