100% Eat - Cheesecake Factory Bee Sting & Cacio E Pepe Flatbreads and Ahi Poke Nachos

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Cheesecake Factory Bee Sting & Cacio E Pepe Flatbreads and Ahi Poke Nachos so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about bee thoughts, pig's delight, architecture, David Overton's tastebuds and more. Sponsored by Shady Rays (http://shadyrays.com and use code FACEJAM) and Honey ( http://joinhoney.com/facejam ) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. You were about, after the second time you said shit, I was like, oh boy, when he gets to my name, it's going to be something. Thank you for not taking it out on me. Well, no, I was just trying to pump people up. People were talking about feeling a little bit sleepy. We kind of had like a packed meal. I'm winded. It's been a day already. I thought we needed some energy to swing in hot.

Oh, I like it. You were talking about like just we were going to start rolling and you were going to be on the other side, you know? Yeah. You were going to like disassociate for an hour. The only way to keep me from the other side is to hang on to everyone and drag you back from the depths of hell. Be extremely present as you drag us.

At all times. In all times. Simultaneously. I mean, so many times right now. There's a me that's still back at the cheesecake. I saw a movie about this once. I like the idea of using everyone else to drag yourself up. You're dragging.

He's climbing up. Yeah, you're just climbing bodies. No, no, no. It's like a slingshot. Everyone's being dragged. I'm at the bottom. But then I slingshot past everyone and then pull them out with me. Oh, you're pulling. Oh, I see. Oh, I see.

I used the small amount of energy that you had left in order to defeat the villain that is Sleepiness and dragged you with me into the clear blue skies, which is where we are now talking about reviewing the Cheesecake Factory bee sting

and cocky-o- Pee flatbreads. You know, it never once crossed my mind that it would be pronounced that way. It's like, why did they name that lake that? You know? I was, it really didn't. Come on. Like Kakio P really didn't... Come on. Like, cacao pee-pee? Come on.

Never... What did we eat? Yeah, what did... Eric, can you... How would you say it? Yeah. Cacao de pepe? You say, duh, pepe?

It's just E. Cacao de pepe? Cacao de pepe. That's how I would say it. You were adding a duh, though. Okay. Cacao de pepe. Cacao de pepe?

I'm sure it's not cacio. I don't know. I mean, I would say cacio, but I don't. Okay. Cacio de pepe. Cacio de pepe? I'm sure it's not cacio. I don't know. I mean, I would say cacio, but I don't know shit. See? How would you say it? Like a pistachio peanut. Oh. Are these pistachios?

It's not a peanut. It's just a nut. Pistachio peanut. The point is, we ate peanuts and bees, I guess. Yeah. Did we? I'm not sure what we ate. Yeah, which one was which you couldn't tell the bee sting is a stupid stupid name it doesn't describe anything yeah when you said that

uh when you were ordering it and we're gonna get the bee sting flatbread i was like what's this gonna be yeah like i couldn't even imagine and then what came out i was like which is this the bee sting one right so it was two flatbread pizzas. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. Tell you what wasn't there. Yep.

Nick's Good Time Spirit. No, Nick's Good Time Spirit was definitely there. Yeah, no, he was having a great time. He was excited. Did you see how fast he fucking grabbed that pizza? Because I kept indulging him. Yeah, man. Jesus Christ.

So I'm like putting a smile on a young man's face. The reason we went to Cheesecake Factory, which we've never been to, is they have these flatbreads, these pizzas. But they also had the ahi poke nachos. Which, like, if you're going to go anywhere to get that, it's got to be the Cheesecake Factory. So here's the thing. We ordered it, and she knew what it was. And she's like, be the Cheesecake Factory. Uh-huh. So here's the thing. We ordered it and she knew what it was and she's like,

great, hell yeah. And then we continued and then she walked away and came back a couple minutes later and she went, we don't have any of the poke. So.

Yeah, she said, we're out of the tuna right now. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Which is insane because this just came out. Right.

But maybe not that insane because this place was filled to the brim. Maybe everyone else was getting the fucking tuna. Everyone else was going twisty tuna. Yeah. We're just a lame old food review podcast. Yeah.

We got there late at 1230. Yeah. Everyone else there are diehard cheesecake factory heads. We were talking about it. That might be the most crowded restaurant. That might be the most crowded restaurant we've ever eaten at for this fucking show probably it was huge we got there about 12 30 yeah which you know on a tuesday is the middle of the working day and most people don't shoot out till lunch real quick to a cheese also no one there was dressed like they were at a business lunch thing no it was It was first of all, the place was ginormous.

It had a 45 foot tall ceiling. Yep. Yeah, so tall. I don't think that's an exaggeration. The outside was huge. Weirdly opulent as well. It's like a hotel. You walk in, it's like a hotel lobby. I think Nick made that joke when we walked

up and it was like, damn, that's exactly how it felt. It gave me Vegas hotel vibes. I was like, where's the casino? Well, the gambling is the tuna. Yeah. Roll the dice on it. I only eat my tuna fish from 7-Eleven, because I know where it came from.

I need to be in a landlocked state, and I need to be at the Cheesecake Factory. Cheesecake Factory is a place we haven't done on the show before. Have you guys eaten at it much at all i had thought maybe i had gone to a cheesecake factory maybe i i must have gotten it take out because if they're all like this i mean they're not i've never been in them they're not all like that they're not all that size but they are like they are structurally they are they are but like are they all the. The weird decor of Egyptian, Italian villa.

It's Vegas. It really is. It's like if the Bellagio and the Luxor fucked and came out with the Cheesecake Factory. It's what people who vote for Trump think is classy. They're like, look at this classy place. They got Egyptian

and they got Roman. roman oh and it's a place you like go after prom yeah it's ceiling weird can't touch them yep can't touch them too high up too high how'd they paint up there nobody knows people talking about the pyramids why not they're not talking about the cheesecake who made these these? How'd they get up there? Aliens. It really is like a Bass Pro Shop type of thing where you're like, this is too opulent for what we're about to do here. Yeah, but it was packed. It's specifically like the one in Memphis

where it's in the pyramid. Yeah. The Bass Pro Shop's in the pyramid. And you're right. It was fucking packed. And like, we talked about it. Have you been to Cheesecake Factory?

I haven't been to one since New Jersey. Yeah. So I've been there a couple of times in my life, not often. And I haven't been there easily in over a decade. I forgot how much fucking food they have. Yeah. Their menu is like seven pages. So much food.

There's so much shit there. It's like you go to the Cheesecake Factory, and as we learned at the restaurant, Eric didn't know it was an actual restaurant as a kid. Well, I didn't learn until I was 22 that it was like an actual restaurant. When friends were like, I'm hungry, let's go to Cheesecake Factory. And I went, I don't really want dessert. Can we get food? And they went, what?

They made fun of me for a long time. I was just saying. Like their radar when I was like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Get him, get him, get him, get him. Say what you said. Hold on, say it to Jimmy. I think it's just a bad name. Hold on. Get him. Get him. Get him. Say what you said. Hold on. Say it to Jimmy. Say it to Jimmy. I think it's just a bad name.

It's just a bad name for how much food they eat. That's what I was going to say. It's a terrible name. You just think cheesecake. And it's like, what would you say they do well besides the cheesecake? You have like dumb people like Eric who just think they only sell cheesecake. What the fuck? But then you probably have a lot of people that go, yeah, I know they have other food,

but they're mostly cheesecake. And then you get there. lot of people that go, yeah, I know they have other food, but they're mostly cheesecake. And then you get there. But what is the other food? And the other food is eight pages of like every single American cuisine. And it's like, go with this. Lead with this. Yeah. And also orange chicken just randomly.

I have gotten, I've eaten here a lot. Like just jobs that I've worked and places that I lived like in Orange County. I've eaten every day of my life. You're allowed we would just it would just be a place you end up at a bunch and uh i've eaten a lot of weird fucking shit at that place you could you could go there every day for lunch for three years and get something different yeah like i've had hamburgers i've had avocado egg rolls i've had orange chicken they have pastas like they're huge that isn't the place i want to go i don't want to go to cheesecake factory for those foods no so it's like why do they some people do they were there in droves the logistics of it too are also

interesting because you have so many ingredients yeah where are you keeping them all and are people ordering enough of all these different foods you're not keeping them in the conveniently uh like place storage attic that doesn't exist with 150 that's all i can think about right yeah it's like so much storage space it's such a texas thing to have like like not that this isn't cheesecake factories and other places but even apartments do you think the ceilings are so high in Texas? It's insane to me. And all I can think of, this is why you can't,

you don't have other rooms, the room where you don't have basements. You don't have addicts. What are you doing with all this space? The room we're in, I'm raising my arms because there's so much room. It has a very high ceiling. At least we work in a fucking hangar.

Right. But do you think the ceilings here are higher or lower? No, they're lower. They're way lower. Yeah, they're way lower than G's K factory. Not even close. No, I don't think it's close at all are higher or lower? No, they're lower. They're way lower. Yeah, they're way lower than the Cheesecake Factory. Not even close.

No, I don't think it's close at all. They realistically had to be, what, 30 feet? This is like maybe 20. Probably more. I mean, really at least. Yeah, and that's all I can think of is why. You walk in? I mean, we said that it's like a hotel.

How are people going to live above the Cheesecake Factory if there's no flat above the Cheesecake Factory? This is a problem with Austin. This is why no new TV shows are coming out. Think about it. If there was a show about, you're right, there should be a show Nobody wants to work in a cheesecake factory while living on top of it. sitcom is being made out of it.

Two guys, a girl, and a cheesecake factory. No, and just a cheesecake. It launched Ryan Reynolds. What could it do for us? Think about it. That place has a full fucking bar and a lot of bar seating. There was a lot i thought that we were going to get sat at the bar area when we just kept going back and we just kept going into this cat we parked underground where the mold men live and then we just kept walking

through a cavernous mine and the reason we parked underground is because there was no parking yeah yeah in the parking lot because so many people are at the fucking cheesecake. I mean, there was plenty of parking. And then we walked. There was. You just had to go left one time. And then we... I don't know why. And then we had to go inside the cheesecake factory and get like

a Sherpa and hike all the way back to the back of the cheesecake factory. And then even halfway he went, this is too dangerous for me. This leather is taking a turn. He was like, we should set up camp here. Also, this other Sherpa will take you the rest of the way. Well, he went halfway and found out there was no tuna, so he turned around.

He knew. He just did not reveal the secrets to us. No! Yeah. It's probably, we talked about it. Probably okay that we didn't get the ahi poke nachos. Yeah. It was a roll of the dice

well especially because eric kept ordering too much food fuck off that we ordered two of each kind of pizza and michael said what else are we getting right oh these nachos and he went right what else are we getting yeah michael michael just said but i don't want that yeah he just i'll get something else just kept talking about the other food that he was going to get. And then we ordered drinks and we all got water. And Michael's like, tropical punch. Fuck yeah, dude. Got like a tiki drink.

Yeah, I got a rum punch. Don't let me order last. Water, water, water. Can I get your tiki rum punch? And it was like, hell yeah. Somebody cool. And then they didn't have the nachos and nick was devastated but yeah but don't worry he had a solution while looking at the menu upside down well here's what happened we ordered after we ordered the drinks and eric was like we know what we want and then michael had been talking about

like oh i might get something else and so she was like is that everything and michael goes for now yeah and she's picking up the menus and i go michael do you want to hold on to your menu and he's like yeah yeah i'll hold on to my menu for later so he hung on to the menu and then when they came back and said oh we don't have these nachos she She walked away and Nick just went. Started panicking. Well, we should. Okay, hang on. It's Michael's menu, so he doesn't want to take it. So I think he immediately went, what are the other appetizers? So it's facing Michael.

Nick is on the other side of him. And Nick just starts opening it and looking through it upside down. A menu I wasn't looking at. No one was using. But it was your menu. It was mine. That's correct. But Nick, with no hesitation, looked at all the appetizers and decided that we should get the regular, the factory nachos.

Factory nachos. Another great appealing name. And he started assuring us, too. Like, don't worry, guys. Don't freak out. I found the solution. It's the factory nachos. And I'm going to be honest.

His impassioned speech mostly fell on deaf ears. Yes, it did. Because then when it came back around where we went, are we going to get those nachos? Nick just started going, whatever, whatever, whatever. It's whatever. Whatever you want to do.

I really want them. I'm not going to raise a stink. But I really want them. I already did. I already did raise a stink. I will. I won't raise another one, but them. I'm not going to raise a stink about it, but I really want them. But also, I already did. I already did raise a stink. I will. I won't raise another one, but whatever. I don't even care. So we ordered the nachos.

We can get into that when we get into the food, but it's also- And that's my history with Cheesecake Factory. The nachos that we ate don't factor into our score because we didn't get the ahi poke ones

and these are regular nachos. Also, if we didn't know about this food, there was no menu that this food was on yeah just we walked in you picked up the menu and we were and i mentioned wow it's a huge menu and you're like yeah and then you went but our food isn't on the menu it wasn't and there's so much food that's not on the menu how many other items this food the fucking sweat on his face yep waiting for her to go it was talking you talking about? Right. Yeah. He was like, it was like, if you have it, if you know what it is, I'd like this. And she's like, oh yeah.

Because I'm ordering something called a bee sting flatbread. Like a rooty tootie, fresh and fruity idiot. You even said that. If it wasn't on the menu. She like, before you even got it, you said bee sting and she was like, the pizzas. Yeah. You know, that's, they hate the names too. Thank you.

I will say before we move on though, under today's food, thoughts on bee stings. Yeah. Don't like them. thing and she was like the pizzas yeah you know that's they hate the names too yeah thank you um i will say before we move on though under today's food thoughts on bee stings yeah don't like them yeah i'm against i'm against bee stings there's a drink called the bee sting are we talking about that no i thought they were talking about bees sting you nick gave a thumbs down and slouch in his chair and then started poking himself i don't understand i thought he was like miming something and it turned into like him fighting bees i don't understand. I thought he was miming something and then it turned into him fighting bees. I don't know what. He just executed his own arm or something.

We should do a My Girl remake where he's the Macaulay Culkin. I've never been. He just gets stung by 100 bees. Never been stung by a bee. Really? Yeah. Really?

I find that incredibly hard to believe. My friend Brian, aka you're a liar. He's also never been stung by bees uh uh he is so afraid of getting stung by me too now and then he always goes i know it's not gonna be fucking bad i know it's not gonna hurt that much i don't want it it's like somebody walking up to you with a knife and just going yeah uh brian i feel the same way about these uh i'm i've made it this far without being stung by a bee. You're dead.

I don't want to find out what it feels like now. And I don't want to find out if I'm allergic now. I feel like now you need to carry an EpiPen. Just to be safe. Well, you don't know what you're going to do. Who knows what will happen. Most people deal with this trauma as children. And then I like the idea of someone seeing your EpiPen and saying,

oh, do you have like a bee or peanut allergy? And you say, I don't know, but I might. I have a peanut allergy, I don't know, but I might. I have a bee nut allergy. I don't know yet. I've never been stung. Why do you think I have the pen? If there's a bee eating a peanut, I'm so fucked. Oh, shit.

Do you have a bee or peanut allergy? Sir, drop the peanut. Do you have a bee or peanut allergy? Maybe. Bee nut. Where have you been stung? I don't know. Really?

My arm or something. Not anywhere cool like my anus. I don't know why. Where have you been stung? I got stung between the eyes. That was my first bee sting. Well, that explains why you asked. Because you had such a weird, oddly specific.

I thought maybe you were going to have a good bee sting story. Yeah, in the back corner of my left eye. Yeah. I went to blink and he got caught. Oh, no. The bee lives here. Rolled around back there. I've been stung like probably four times.

Yeah. What are you doing to these bees to like piss them off? I've been stung a human amount of time. I was a child. I was outside. Yeah, exactly. I also went outside, but I wasn't dumb enough to go on bees. Probably lesser.

Yeah. Probably you went outside to like go to the museum in the alley. But I guess it makes sense. Like an impromptu, like Banksy, like look at this. Like I found this turd on a flaming lunch bag and then a bunch of Jordans stood around and just saying, incredible. Yeah, that sounds right.

And there were no bees there. You started chanting art not bees art not bees art not bees that's how you keep the bees away yeah you chant art not bees yeah you just gotta say whatever and then not okay got it got it hey i julie arts i think i figured you just lived in cerritos the most toxic air pollution in the United States. Wow, there's that. So bees could not survive. One time when I was a kid, we were all piling up into the minivan to go somewhere.

And a swarm of bees flew over our car. Yeah, it was the most terrifying thing that eight-year-old Jordan had ever experienced. It's always wild when you see bees freaking the fuck out because like a queen got caught somewhere. Have you seen that? Like if a queen gets caught like in a car, the bees will just like follow the car around and shit.

That shit's crazy. I like when they end up- You realize how many of those fuckers there are. I like when you end up going to a baseball game and then bees attack the baseball game.

Oh yeah, that's always great. I love when they have to hit the deck. Yeah, it happens like more than you think. If you want to get stung by a bee just to figure it out, if you're allergic or not, and move past it,

just go stand next to the trash can at either a gas station or 7-Eleven. Go to 7-Eleven, yo. There's 10,000 bees. You go to throw away a cup and you go, should I be doing this? There's 150 bees guarding the door. Am I in there, Territory? Am I attacking if I put this cup in? Yeah, is this an act of aggression?

Or six flags. That's a lot of bees. They included six flags into the bee trash cans. That's true. There's a lot of sweets there. Yeah. Don't use the trash can right next to the Dippin' Dots cart. Oh, boy.

Because it's a goddamn kingdom. Knott's Berry Farm would be like, that's bee kingdom. That's where you would get bees? Disneyland? No bees in the trash cans. No bees in Disneyland. That's the difference. That's the Disneyland difference.

Well, they can't have they put enough poison in the air for every human and bee to come no it makes you feel happy they can't have bees there because pluto would eat the bees and then his face would swell up like those dogs on the internet that's the best when you see dogs with bee sting faces and then also goofy who for some reason is also a dog, but human intelligent level, also biting the bees. Biting bees. Well, not human intelligent. That's true.

Just maybe somewhere between human and dog. Smart between. He's not as smart as a mouse, but he's smarter than a dog. Smarter than Pluto. Dumber than Mickey. Yeah. Maybe dumber than Donald. Yeah.

I think Donald's pretty smart. Yeah, Donald feels like a schemer, so I feel like he's probably pretty smart. He's a real Eddie. Yeah, we gotta be honest. I don't know anything about Donald. I can't understand a word he's saying. We should figure out a time to rank intelligences of Disney characters and just sort of

take our time with that. Yeah. Do you think, like, Merlin Mickey is the smartest one? I mean, I don't know. No, because his magic screwed it all up. Yeah, his magic screwed some shit up fucking brought those brooms to life yeah what a dumbass how do you fuck up

cleaning what an idiot what a dumbass alright let's haiku cakes of cheese churn out working the assembly line big bang theory this is this is someone working the assembly why big bang theory

because it was like a place they would go to. That's all I knew about Cheesecake Factory. It was in the Big Bang Theory a lot. Why would they go to Cheesecake? I guess that's like a great product placement. They were probably there just now. They were eating ahi tuna nachos or whatever. They ate it all.

God damn it, Bazingo. It's Bazinga Dinga Doo. Bazinga Dinga Doo. That was all Leonard's fault? Oh, no. Leonard. I only like, Young Sheldon, no. Is there like a medium Sheldon?

Like a middle Sheldon? Yeah, that's called the good doctor. The good doctor and Young Sheldon kind of came out at the same time. I forgot about that show. I was like, this kid looks the same as The Good Doctor. He's got all your medium Sheldon vibe. Yeah. This is middle Sheldon.

I think medium Sheldon is like Harley Quinn on HBO Max. Okay. Is that still on? Kaley Cuoco is the voice. Is that still on HBO Max? It is. Okay. For now. I mean, I think the timing worked out

because season three just started airing and they're like, well, it's already made. We're not going to... Right, but they... We'll let it air and then we'll... They weren't doing a thing where it's like, as soon as they upload it, you better watch it because we're taking it down as it's going up.

Yeah. Sort of just like a snake, like an Ouroboros. Yeah. You need to push play as down as it's going up. Yeah. Sort of just like a snake. It's a snake, yeah. You need to push play as soon as it's uploaded. Because if you're a second late, that's gone. You're going to watch it in real time. That one second's gone. You're fucked. Let's learn about Cheesecake Factory.

Although officially founded in 1978, the beginnings of Cheesecake Factory trace back to Detroit in the mid-50s where Evelyn Overton began making cheesecakes from a recipe she found in the newspaper. Whoa, so she stole? Cheesecake Factory's just stolen? I think it's probably not stolen. It's probably just read. Yeah, so... It's in the newspaper. Whoa, so she stole? Cheesecake Factory's just stolen? I think it's probably not stolen. It's probably just read. Yeah, so...

It was in the newspaper. She started... But who posted it? I don't know. The newspaper. She found... Probably the World Times. Whatever the fuck they were called.

The World Times. There was like two newspapers. Oh, I assume it was a local newspaper that had two pages. One had the... Like, there was one page that just said the Tigers score really big. That's it. She found this recipe and then did, like, she, like, made the cheesecakes and then people liked it.

So she's like, I'm going to start making them in my basement. And then started cooking cheesecakes in her basement. Dude, it makes sense that it started in Detroit. That's where assembly line work and factories originated. It's true. That's where the factory comes from. Wow. There's not a lot of factory in the Cheese? Dude, it makes sense that it started in Detroit. That's where assembly line work and factories originated. It's true. That's where the factory comes from. Wow. There's not a lot of factory in the Cheesecake Factory, is there?

No, there's no factory. Well, it's in the back. Oh. The backtory. Okay. I'll move on there. Okay. Cheesecake Factory purchased Fox Restaurant Concepts, a brand of food concepts that were

expanding in the Southwest, housing a portfolio of nearly a dozen restaurants such as The Rocket, Pigs Delight, Culinary Dropout. These are all made up. Arrogant Butcher. That's not made up. Doughbird and more. I made one of those names up. It's not Arrogant Butcher. That's a real place.

It's definitely Pigs Delight is the made up one. Okay. He says dropout. And you say dropout? Culinary Dropout is to real place it's definitely definitely pig's delight is the is the made-up one okay well he says drop out and you say drop out culinary dropout is too that's not smart enough for to come from eric eric's not smart pigs delight wait i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry that's not smart enough to come from eric but pigs delight is smart you're right i did i did mess that up that's too smart to come from er. Okay. Got it. Pig's Delight seems too on the nose,

but maybe that's... He was typing this up thinking, I know exactly how this conversation's going to play out. Oh, no. I'm going to say Culinary Dropout as well. Pig's Delight is the main impression. I thought better of you.

Played him. There's a place called The Rocket. And if you don't eat inside of a rocket, what the fuck's the point? What is Arrogant Butcher? It's like a deli. Oh, is it? I've never heard of it.

It's like, I don't even know where I saw it. I think I saw it on a trip somewhere recently. Really? Must have been at a convention or something. Yeah. It was like in a city. It was not far.

I remember seeing it on my GPS and not eating there. Yeah. I'm not going there. Why would not going to go to a place. This guy's like chopping the meat and going. It was, it was one of those things where I'm like, Oh,

it's eight 30. Let's go out. Oh, every place closes at eight. Yes. Yeah. The arrogant butchers. Oh,

until nine. Were you in Phoenix? Maybe. Yeah. I might've been, I might've been, I think I was actually. I think,

man, this really drags yep Phoenix fucking sucks maybe you're in Tempe or Scottsdale or something I think I actually

was in Phoenix yeah it sounds like because I was I was there earlier this year I love the name restaurant concepts yeah

which makes me think yeah they make crazy concepts arrogant butcher is like a concept restaurant kind of like like a Karen's or something where it's like everyone is arrogant to you kind of like they're kind of like sno Karen's or something where it's like everyone is arrogant to you.

They're kind of like snooty. What's the fucking one where they call you a dumb little bitch and put a hat on you? Oh, shit. There's that hot dog place they want us to go to. Dick's Last Resort. Wiener Circle is everything. I was thinking about that the other day.

I saw a video of it and it was just like a hot dog place. Were you like, that could have been us? Yeah, and I just went, it could have been. I saw a video of it. And it was just like, oh, this sucks. Were you like, that could have been us? Yeah, and I just went, that could have been Nick. It could have been Nick. No, it could have been Nick

getting railed on. I mean, it would have been just people screaming at a guy in a monkey mask. Yeah. Not us. Somebody else. I want to go to Pig's Delight.

Here we go. I want to see if this delights you. Gotcha. Cheesecake Factory doesn't actually make the cheesecake in the restaurant. So the name is bullshit. And this place is a fucking Gotcha. Cheesecake factory doesn't actually make the cheesecake in the restaurant. So the name is bullshit. And this place is a fucking scam.

Dude, that's the American dream. It's like. And that is why it's probably pretty good cheesecake. Oh, yeah. Again, similar to the Ford company. You say it's made in America. You say it's a cheesecake factory. No, it's all just made it up somewhere else.

They make the cheesecake somewhere else and then they thaw them out at their respective cheesecake factories. Do they have a special room for cheesecake thawing? Yeah, they have to open the mummy's tomb. Or if you don't have that, it goes in the break room. It's one of the two. Is mummy's tomb or break room?

Is Brendan Fraser on call for when things go wrong? Right, but in both. He's on call for the cheesecake. They just go, Brendan, another one went bad. That's why that- We thought it out too much. His career kind of took a dip. And he was just like, the mummy's curse.

I will cleanse you of this curse by consuming this cheesecake. The mummy's curse. Emotep will not die again. Imhotep. Imhotep. I just found out that those first two movies rule. They do, yeah.

They hold up so well. Do you think when he says, you're on the wrong side of the river and then he takes a bite. Yeah, that's it. Jonathan! Jonathan!

I just found out that the mummy or whatever isn't Billy Zane. He takes a bite. Yeah. That's it. Jonathan! I just found out that the mummy or whatever isn't Billy Zane. I thought it was Billy Zane. It's not Billy Zane. That is not Billy Zane. No. But that's very funny that you thought it was Billy Zane. I thought it was Billy Zane.

Billy Zane is white. I thought. Billy Zane's white. I only found. I will let you know. I only found out like a week or two ago that it was not Billy Zane. Billy Zane is white. I thought. Billy Zane's white. I only found, I will let you know, I only found out like a week or two ago that it wasn't Billy Zane. Oh, I thought you were going to say you found out a week ago that Billy Zane is white. I was going to go, you should have known. I just didn't. Between this and you telling us that you didn't know Cheesecake Factory was a restaurant

until you were 22, you're really volunteering a lot of information here, Aaron. Look at pictures. It looks like Billy Zane. It kind of looks like Billy Zane. I mean... If you squint, it looks a little bit like Billy Zane. I mean, a guy without a mustache. Two guys without mustaches.

One guy's bald, the other guy's not. Billy Zane's bald? You see a bald guy and not. Billy Zane's guy, he's bald. You see a bald guy go, Billy Zane? I mean, he's bald when he's in the outfit and he's got the purple head. Do you know Billy Zane is in Titanic, but he has hair? Yes. Okay. That's like a Billy Corgan situation where he doesn't look right with hair to me.

He's a bald guy to me. Interesting. Yeah. Like, Billy Corgan is a bald guy to me. When you see videos of him with hair, you go, I don't know about this. He's also in, I believe, several episodes of the boys as billy zane oh because they're at like conventions or something they're at conventions in one but also you know how like they they they constantly have like tv shows and movies about the superheroes he plays

like a fictionalized person of somebody i think he he, I think he plays the, um, the fucking Fresca guy. He's like, want a Fresca? Oh yeah. I think he plays that guy. That guy was an ER too. I think he plays that guy in universe of the show. I just remember seeing Billy,

Billy Zane in the credits is, is listed as Billy Zane. That's awesome. Um, I just, I just, and I just found out he was in the Titanic. I was going to say,

I just watched all that show and totally slipped my mind he was in the Titanic I was going to say I just watched all that show and totally slipped my mind that Billy Zane was in it that's a good show unlike these facts but I'll get through them no we're learning maybe there's some boys facts in here I would hope with it's ever expanding menu

David Overton said quote my taste buds represent that of the regular people. We have dining at our restaurants. If I love the food, it goes in the menu. End quote. Coming next to the menu, slob. What an insane thing to say.

That's coming to pig's delight. If I like the food, it goes on the menu. That's right. We're now selling bubble gum. I love it. So basically the menu could just be called Dave's favorite food. Yeah, it's a very like, I'm nine and I want to open a restaurant. What do you want your restaurant to be?

I want it to be spaghetti and chicken nuggets. If I only put anything in it that I like, then it's always a thing that everyone likes. Then I'll always eat there. Yeah, what a bold claim to say, like, my taste buds represent regular people. It's fucking crazy. I have the same discerning taste. Of the regular people.

The first Cheesecake Factory opened in the late 70s in Beverly Hills. Hell yeah. Just a regular man. My taste buds represent the squabble and the filth that dine in my restaurants. My taste buds lower themselves to that of you animals. Got some real blue collar taste buds.

And that's it. It's the only thing blue collar taste buds. Yeah. And that's it. Yeah. It's the only thing blue collar all allow. Yeah. Is my taste buds. To get on your disgusting low intelligent level. In 2014, a family sued Cheesecake Factory when their nine-year-old child ordered a virgin pina colada but was served the drink containing alcohol. His father said his son was so drunk that he had to be carried to the car

while everyone at school said he is cool as hell now and that he's a fucking pimp. You think they would have learned to fucking pimp at alcohol a nine-year-old drinking alcohol damn dude also fuck their defenses i had to carry him to the car it was like crazy he's that he's nine so i bet i bet he was gonna get tired and you're gonna have to do that anyway i i read about this story he orders a virgin pina colada they give him a regular one he drinks a bunch of it and then he starts going like oh i don't feel good he keeps telling his mom i got a stomach ache i'm like dizzy he kept saying i'm dizzy and then his mom went like what the fuck checking the food and stuff and smelled the pina colada she's like it was just rum

he's like it's just rum his dad said they had to put him in the car and they took him to the er to get like his stomach pumped to get like an iv or whatever uh probably not stomach pumped right like i mean i mean nine years old maybe yeah yeah so i would have just given him a pedialyte i would have shared with my pedialyte they said that his uh his innocence was ripped away um wow he had to take him to the er and he said the whole way to the ER, he kept saying, Dad, the room is spinning. Can you stop it? And I'll be honest, I've been there too, man. I'm like, I

can't hit. I mean, I've been there in a stationary place. The first time you get drunk, that's how it is. I mean, he's just ahead of everyone. That's why he's so fucking cool. All the kids at school are like, what'd you do last night? He's like, I got fucking drunk at the Cheesecake Factory I go to Cheesecake Factory

I got hammered With my parents All these kids just start going to Cheesecake Factory Virgin pina colada Virgin Wink Wink Give me the old Timmy O'Doyle special

Whoa It was an O'Doyle boy? O'Doyle rules Now I'm thinking it wasn't an accident You know the O'Doyles Probably just taken after their father. Also, okay, here's the thing about that story.

Did they win? Yeah. Having your nine-year-old at a Cheesecake Factory order a virgin pina colada is very weird to me. Yeah, what kind of nine-year-old is going after a pina colada? Mom, do they have of nine-year-olds going after a pina colada mom do they have dacoys uh i mean what i'm what i'm guessing is old-fashioned as a parent what

i'm guessing is either the kid saw a picture of it or he was being a little asshole and like didn't want milk or juice and just wanted something fancy i will say having a kid getting them something that it just still sucks, but they don't know what it is, is very exciting. As I said earlier, I was out with my children the other day, and on the way home, I popped into a car wash, like a drive-thru, because I knew they would be like, whoa! I'll give a shit about my car. It's just a little treat for them.

I could see them going, here's a fancy pina colada. Shut the hell up. Yeah. But also, again, knowing Papa O'Doyle, he didn't order a virgin. He fucked up. Yeah. He fucked up. Oh, dude, they both ordered it.

And he was like, man, this isn't as strong as usual. And then little Timmy's just like, the room is spinning. This place is crazy. There you go, those are the facts. He wanted Timmy to take a nap so he could wrestle his mom. Ew. He got like a little smirk when he looked

at me and said it. Yeah, because, you know, they're wrestling. You get it? Yeah, no, I got it. Yeah, they're actually wrestling. Yeah, they're doing it. They have a ring in the garage. Greco-Roman. You get it? Yeah, no, I got it. Yeah, they're actually wrestling. Yeah, they're doing it. They have a ring in the garage. Greco-Roman.

Ring the bell. He's trying to make it into the WWE. It's not working out. He breaks his wife's eyes and then hits her with a steel chair. I have been communicating for a long time now with Vince McMahon, and I think I'm finally about to get my big break. How much money did he give you? He hasn't gotten back to me in a few weeks. I'm not sure why. He's been busy. He keeps saying I'm

on vacation. He hasn't been giving you any money, has he? I wish. I've been giving him money. He keeps saying my big break's around the corner. He's been giving Vince McMahon. Yeah, he's like the owner. He said there was like a Nigerian prince situation

he had to like unlock a fund and then the windfall was coming right right right and the windfall is you becoming the WWE champion

well I'll work my way up I don't expect to start as the champion I'll put in at least six months to a year imagine a wrestler

you've never seen he just comes in and wins immediately. Just fucking body slams the guy one time and pins him. And the arena is just quiet. Even the commentators are like, I'm not sure. Yeah, who the fuck is this? This guy in a hat and a t-shirt.

You just write a check and it says Vinceince mcmahon yeah hell yeah you're welcome so anyway i'll be looking down on you soon oh cool great yeah um yeah as soon as vince gets back in touch with you i'm sure say what you will but he's a good guy he's good to me that's it's great it's crazy all those stories that are coming out people are like guys that's crazy i'm finding out vince mcmahon's a bad guy and it's like we've known vince mcmahon yeah guys where have you been it's been the 80s since we've been like this guy sucks it's been it's been weird that honestly he was still in charge i think when you run the circus no one really cares about the circus yeah so you just sort of like... I mean, if Triple H isn't getting in there

and taking over, I mean, who would? Yeah. Michael. No, I'm not. No, I'm on the display. I don't work in the back room. You know what I mean? Right. I'll be the face. He doesn't work in the front office. I'll be a face who's the face. The face face, yeah.

But I'm not gonna be, you know, I'm not I'm not going to a meeting. Oh, okay. I'm not answering emails. Oh, that's good. The face face, yeah. But I'm not going to be, you know, I'm not going to a meeting. Okay. I'm not answering emails. Oh, that's good. No, no, no. Oh, so it's just like this job then.

Pretty much. Yeah. Think about it. Yeah, you did answer the face. I won't go to a meeting and I will look at an email. Yeah.

But I'm not going to reply. Nope. I have the information. I don't need to tell you I have it. Right. I got it. You're good. I've absorbed it. I mean, the email's sent, mean the email sent didn't it you gotta assume yeah yeah I saw him reply it's

fine Eric's got it he's got this fucking oh I'm at some meetings you've seen me I'm there with Jordan yeah it's true I was like when I go is the microphone broke yep Jordan were you saying something? I said bye. No, no, before that. I said hi. That was 30 minutes ago. That was about 30 minutes ago. It's about showing up, man.

Yeah, it is. It is. Don't see Nick in those meetings. Truly 80%. I know, that's right. He's not even in all the Slack channels. I don't know what to think about. Oh.

Jordan, you want to teach us about the food? Teach me. Teach me, teacher. Cheesecake Factory, bee sting, and Cacchio Pepe flatbreads. Bee sting flatbread pizza. Flatbread topped with Italian sausage,

pepperoni, bacon, and Calabrian chilies. Calabrian. Calabrian chilies. All right. With mozzarella cheese, Parmesan cheese, and a touch of honey. That's why it's called the bee sting. If you didn't read that and you didn't know it was called the bee sting or whatever,

would you have thought that there was honey on that? No. No. He gave it a thumbs up. He said yes. I only detected it because it was called the bee sting. I did not detect it at all. But yeah, I picked up on that.

It was- It was on the crust mostly. Yeah. It was sticky on my fingies. Yeah. But I could- That actually makes sense. It was sticky. I did not. But yeah, I picked up on that. It was on the crust mostly. Yeah. It was sticky on my fingies. Yeah. That actually makes sense. It was sticky. You're right.

But that's the only reason I ever would have thought that because it did not taste like it at all. I didn't taste any honey. It's a good pizza even without it, you know?

The chilies were a nice touch. They weren't too spicy. Yeah, put Calabrian chilies on everything. It's great. Calabrian. All right,

whatever. Like a collaboration of chilies were a nice touch. They weren't too spicy. Yeah, put Calabrian chilies on everything. It's great. Calabrian. All right, whatever. Like a collaboration. Yeah, got it. Of chilies. Got it. Cacchio, E Pippi, flatbread pizza. Flatbread topped with Romano and Parmesan cheeses and freshly ground black pepper. Wow, what a pizza.

I'm sorry, so you're not telling me what that sauce was? Right, where's the sauce? What do you mean? That's what I want to know. It's topped with Romano and Parmesan cheeses. I don't think that's what that was. Then it must be freshly ground black. It was a white sauce.

Was it ground white pepper? Pepper has that texture, right? Guys, what do we eat? I don't know. Who put that on there? Blizz took a bite and got it everywhere. It went all over Blaine. Squirted on Blaine.

What was that sauce? We didn't eat this, but cheesecake ahi poke nachos. Here's what we could have had. Crispy wontons covered with Hawaiian-style ahi tuna poke, avocado,

green onions, chilies, sesame seeds, and a drizzle of sriracha aioli. Dang, that sounds good. How many calories do you think that was? That's awful.

We didn't talk about that. Everything at Cheesecake Factory has the most insane calorie count you've ever fucking seen in your life. Because of the secret sauce. I bet when it became a law that restaurants had to start putting the calories on them, they were sweating.

Oh, yeah. But they were sweating. Cheesecake. They were sweating because they've been eating the food. But that's it. They were sweating. They were breathing hard. They were sweating because they've been eating the food. Yeah. But that's it. They were sweating. They were breathing hard. They were sweating because they don't work out.

They were groaning when they had to stand up. It is a place where all the food might as well have been a base of cheesecake and then turned into another kind of food. That would be a very interesting concept for a restaurant. Like the pizzas had to be like, what did the calorie count on them? That's why they didn't put them on the menu. Like over 2K on those. What were we looking at that was like?

The factory nachos, 2,670 calories. Fucking crazy. It was fucking crazy. Imagine eating all that. For nachos. We almost did. And they had a whole Skinnylicious menu. Yeah.

Skinnylicious. Was everything under $1,200? Yeah. No. Why the fuck? That's not even like, $1,200 is still a lot for a meal. It's used as a bookmarker. It was.

That was great when you said it's a bookmarker and you open it up. It's like, here's pastas. Like, oh, we found it. That's great. Yeah. It's like their calorie count stuff there is fucking crazy. Even like, I think when you get like their salads and shit, their salads are fucking huge.

Everything. They're huge and they probably have a lot of things that aren't good for you. In the salad. Do you think there's any pepperoni in the salad? That's a horrible idea. Oh, I bet cold marinara. That's a horrible idea for a salad. Nobody would ever eat that.

Pepperoni, maybe. Cold marinara? No. Just a thought I had. Here's the press material uh quote we were pleased with our second quarter top line results across our brands they're pleased hold on yeah keep going they're happy about it where's this where's this gonna go is it do you think it's a joke maybe it's a joke that they're that they're going to lean into here we got with the factory stuff okay please with our second quarter top line results across our brains as we continue to outperform the broader casual dining industry some of them just call it you know qprs or

whatever uh underscoring the strength of our portfolio said david overton chairman and chief executive officer with the best taste buds in the world. Within the four walls of our restaurant. Oh, geez. Way more than four. Way more than four walls. Oh, God. And the high, high ceilings.

Our tenured operators remain focused on delivering delicious, memorable experiences for our guests while maintaining our high labor productivity and food efficiency results? Dude, I want to hear him read this and then in front of someone and then say questions like, yes, you. Is there any way you can say that like a person?

Can you repeat that as a human? It's the most prepared statement I've ever seen. I love working at Cheesecake Factory where we provide memorable experiences while maintaining our high labor productivity and food efficiency. I want to know what's going on within these four walls. This is a family and we love our tenured

operators with all of our normal human grown hearts. Not from a seed. Not from an ocean. Starting to think the only human part of this guy are his taste buds. But even still, they're inhuman when he's just like, if I enjoy the food, it goes on the menu. Here's the thing, Jordan.

He didn't say he had the best taste buds. He just said, these are the only ones that matter. Right. He's got right taste buds. He's got the correct taste buds. How old is this guy? He said that his taste buds represent the regular people. So maybe he took a regular tongue out of a regular human man.

Right, yeah. Put it into his own tongue slot. The most regular man he could find. God. Underscoring the strength of our portfolio. What is food efficiency? Food portfolio! What does food efficiency results even mean?

None of it makes sense. Food efficiency. Oh, that's the guy? There's a picture of a- He's kind of far. He looks old. Yeah, he looks old and not regular. Let me know if you find a picture of his tongue.

I mean, just how he speaks. My taste buds represent that of the regular people. What? It's just how he speaks. My taste buds represent that of the regular people. Yep. What? I, too, represent a human being from the human being race. It goes to show anyone can be a CEO. It doesn't take anything special. Look at this straight-up knucklehead.

This is straight-up knucklehead. Looks like he sells insurance in the South. Kind of looks like Eric, though. What the fuck? No way. My dad? I don't have regular man taste buds. Knucklehead. Looks like he sells insurance in the South. Kind of looks like Eric, though. What the fuck? No way. My dad? I don't have regular man taste buds.

Our hardworking dad who took us out to the Cheesecake Factory. Oh, yeah, you guys. I have a regular man gray mustache. You guys kept saying just one dad taking his three sons to lunch. Yeah. When we were at the Cheesecake Factory. Yeah, I said you missed the, you'd mistaken us out after the game on Saturday, but Tuesday at noon seemed fine.

Pulled us all out of school. I'll take you out of school. I had a quiz. Teacher said if I miss it, I'm failing. Teacher! Thanks, Dad. I kept calling the waitress teacher. I thought I was in school. I kept calling the teacher mom, but I also call the teacher mom at school, so it's fine.

It's really working out for me. So what did you think of these pizzas? Get the final scores. You know, I really, having not been to a Cheesecake Factory, I think, ever in my life, I really wanted to rag on it. And you'll do so now. But I'll be honest rag on it. But, uh, do so now,

but I'll be honest, I'll be honest. They weren't that bad. They were, they were pretty, uh, I'd say even tolerable. Um,

and I couldn't really find anything like grossly, uh, problematic with them as far as my regular, and he's got a very discerning eye for that. This is, this is high praise from George. He's got a very discerning eye for that. This is high praise from George. That's the tough part. I couldn't find it being

fucked up. So naturally I'm upset. And boy, I fucking looked. I was looking. I looked under the cheese. I looked. I pulled it apart and I just went, where's it all fucked up? I tried Nick's to see if his was fucked up. But yeah, there was nothing really like overtly wrong with them um great i don't think there were things i would

ever go for or even there was nothing overtly wrong with it so you liked it yes i wouldn't go that far didn't say that yeah let that. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. It does, in fact, present an interesting score challenge where what is the baseline nothing's wrong with this score where I can't punish it, but also I can't reward it. Who knows?

And I was the one with the supposed complicated scoring system. Well, let's just say, we're just holding 12 cards going, which modifier do I use? Yeah, exactly. We're like three years into it now and the score system is, we have precedence set now. I'll never forget. No, fucking incredible. This is a by the book food rating show, damn it.

I'm going to just give it a solid kind of like C. So I'm gonna go with 75. It's extremely high. It's extremely high. It's incredibly high. I didn't say I liked it. I think that's what he gave.

I wonder if he gave the pretzel pub even a 75. Well, that's where yeah, it's a totally okay sandwich. I'm not even going to look at him. It's fine. He's not going to take that from me. Well, what's wrong? He's ugly.

Oh, you're talking about something different. Oh, yeah. Whoa. I think he might have cussed under his breath. Dad, not in front of the kids It was pretty good We're not rating them Those nachos were actually very good

The cheese was a little weird It tasted a little funny But I'm going to be honest It was better than usual nacho cheeses Look there's the square That's true It's either that garbage Movie theater nacho cheese,

hot yellow shit. Oh, yeah, just the very yellow melted cheese. Which is just awful. Or it's, well, I put three slices of cheese on and put it in the microwave. Yeah. This was actually melted. I don't think we got a single, like, 14 chip kind of monstrosity.

The chain, the monkey chain. Like, all the chips actually fell separately, which actually says a lot for nachos. The important thing I want you to realize here is that that's not the food that we went to go get. Yeah, that's how I started this. Incredible. I'm just saying.

Also, you gave the pretzel pub a 63. Yeah, well, he's hateful. You know this. He's got- Oh, you know what it was? The man's got hate in his heart. You know what it was? You didn't get me the spicy one.

Oh, no. So it's your fault. You didn't get him the Frosty Chino. That's what it was. Yeah, he wanted the Frosty Chino. You may have gotten me the Frosty Chino. That's what it was. Yeah, he wanted the Frosty Chino. You may have gotten me the Frosty Chino. I remember something about a Frosty Chino. I guess I didn't get it for him.

He said, I want Frosty Chino. He wants to make this Frosty Chino. So anyway, I rate that the nachos a 98. Okay. Whoa. That's cool for the nachos. I think that's way too high even for those nachos. Put that in like a subcategory or something. Did you get any of the chicken? I thought the chicken was cold.

No, I didn't get cold chicken. I mean, I got some chicken. It was fine. Maybe I had bad chicken. I'd get the nachos. Pizza! On to the pizza! Which I'm told is getting a rating. Yes, it is. It was good. It was good pizza. I think the bread is the most important. It was well-cooked.

Good crisp. It was good flat. I think the bread is the most important. It was well-cooked, good crisp. It was a good flatbread. I wasn't a huge fan of like, I don't know if it was the pepperoni or the sausage. The meat was kind of okay. I think it was the sausage. I didn't, I wasn't a big fan. It was like,

that's the only thing I think detracted because I liked the cheese better, I think just because it didn't have the sausage on it, but it was pretty good pizza. And I thought I was going to give it high praise. Jordan, not nice over here, outranking me. I'm going to give it a 72. Wow.

Whoa. Turns out this guy, cheesecake fanatic. 73.5. I guess I need to keep going back. Which one did you like better? It was pretty good. The cheese, by far. Yeah.

I like the plain one. 73.5 was... With the mystery white cream. Yeah. We'll never know. What do you mean? It was, it hadn't either be,

you know what it was? Romano and Parmesan cheeses or ground pepper. It was, it was all of garden Alfredo sauce that they just got from there. That's why they can't put it in the press release. It was on a cool X pattern. It was. It was.

Yeah. Yeah. I thought maybe it was like, it was like pizza was like, I think 73 is probably fair for like these pizzas. It just doesn't seem like a thing. I'm going to guess though.

It was expensive as shit. Altogether before tip, it was like 95 bucks. Do you think that's a lot for how much food we got? We didn't get a lot of food. 12 bucks. Even though I keep saying get more food, we wouldn't do it. Yes. For one of those flatbreads would be a lot.

Yes. But the reason it was $95 is because we also got a piece of cheesecake. Yeah. For the Cheesecake Factory. Well, you know it wasn't made there. Just to be clear, it wasn't for Snack Attack. I got it for Nick. And then Eric said, oh, what a great idea I had ordering that cheesecake.

We'll do it for Snack Attack. You're welcome. So I gave Nick nach had ordering that cheesecake. We'll do it for Snack Attack. You're welcome. So I gave Nick nachos and a cheesecake. I was such a good brother. So you guys don't know what kind it is. Our waitress was also like, which one, what kind do you want?

And Michael was just like, she could tell. Oh, she answered herself very quickly. I was like, can he, can he have a cheesecake? And she was like, yeah,

what kind? And I was about to say cheesecake again. And before I even said that, she went, you want me to pick? And I was like, excellent. So she just picked a kind. We got- I was right!

Banana! I was right! I guessed fruit. She didn't even know about sauce monkey. She got a monkey cheesecake. Monkey man got a banana cheesecake. Well, technically we did. We're about to eat it.

You can have the scraps. You can have some. That's so cool. I guessed fruit and or nut. Yep. Nut really threw me for a loop. I got little slices of banana next to it. I mean, all right.

I didn't invent it. It is a tall piece of cheesecake. Yep. Don't forget a banana. I really don't want this at all. Oops, I forgot. Okay. I'll grab that.

Do you not like bananas? Who passes up a piece of a cut banana? I don't know. It's already in the cheesecake. I don't need the banana. I don't think it is. It's banana-flavored cheesecake. Right, but that's a banana, not banana-flavored. Jesus fucking Christ. Do you think a banana and

banana flavor are the same thing? They're not. Mm-mm. He's about to... Nick said like he's talking to a movie. Don't go in there. Should I go in there? No Alright I got the cheesecake We're waiting for Michael to eat it

Get two pieces of banana Got him I'm gonna make a meal out of it you got it Eric wants a little food for some reason whoa is that banana flavoring mixed with banana Eric took a big boy bite

you gotta have an actual banana you gotta have a banana with the bite that's fucking good I um Big boy bite. You gotta have an actual banana. Mm-hmm. You gotta have a banana with the bite. That's fucking good. I, um... This was definitely better than the banana-flavored shake from Whataburger. Mm-hmm. But you still just ate banana flavoring. Yeah.

It was better banana flavoring. Whoa. Wow. They gotta get the Whataburger. The Whataburger's gotta get the cheesecake back. Why are you walking away with it? He just took it. It's his now.

It's his. It's his. He's gonna have it. We all took a bite. We cut and took a it. It's his now. It's his. It's his. He can have it. We all took a bite. We cut and took a bite. Nick took a bite. Went, mmm.

Walked off with it. Yeah. You're welcome. Okay. What do you rate it? Yeah, that's fucking good. Yeah, that's delicious. It's a little bit on the sweet side, but that doesn't attack the, like, it's not like artificially.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. It's not overtly like. It's still too sweet but it's got you know it's a cheesecake plus whipped cream and all that shit. But that's very good. I give that 88. I would never. That's very

good. I would never like want to get a banana cheesecake. Yeah. Right. Because it just doesn't sound like something I would you know all the other flavors. But having had this. Very nice. Very good. 85. It's a very good cheesecake. Yeah. They this, very nice, very good. 85. It's a very good cheesecake. Yeah.

They do it well. 86.5. Somebody else does it well. But yeah, whoever, that's, and you know what? Probably for the best.

Somebody else does it well. I bet they wouldn't do it that well. Someone else is doing it. Someone's doing a great job somewhere. Thank you for participating in Snack Attack. If you want to send snacks and you're not a restaurant, that's fine.

Send them Face Jam Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. You can also stay tuned for all our Face Jam news at Face Jam Pod on Twitter and on Instagram. Get pictures from the show and some videos trying to post more just because, uh, trying to find time. Wow, that was weird. Hey, number one selling item on the store last week. You know what it was? Let me think.

Could it have been like a shirt? The second shipment of Swiss Forks? One of those Red Web shirts? No. Are we still going to guess? It was a hat. I did that, Stickers. On sale now.

We did that? The number one selling item in the store the week it came out. You believe that? I can. Let's. Now, look. We take no responsibility over what you do with that. But if you do do something with it, send us a picture.

Definitely send us a picture at FaceJamPod on Twitter and on Instagram. Probably do it on Twitter so we can retweet it. Right? Do hashtag like I did that. Yes. If you're using the stickers. If you hashtag I did that and you're not sending a picture of a sticker, you will be destroyed. Yeah.

I don't want to destroy you, but I am saying I will. He has to. Yeah. I don't really have. He has to destroy you. Don't make us have to do a chore. not that's not a threat right it's a promise you have 24 hours to respond uh yeah it's it's great I love seeing those stickers they're very big uh you get uh you get that cheat and you get one of each of us. Dude, back to school, put it on your binder.

Yeah. Put it on your locker. Put it on your binder, guys. Put it on when you fail a test. Put it on there. Yeah. I did that. Have it pointing at the number. Yep.

I decorated our door with it. You did. Which isn't our door at all. Which is no. And this is also the room we're not going to be in forever. Yeah, but guess what? I set the tone. Yes, you did. And we got more stickers, we got more stickers too we can put it on no one will pull that down nope and that's uh i'm good with it uh so that's that switch fork restock coming soon uh we're

waiting for them to uh actually arrive and then we'll put them on uh sale which will be great subscribe to your teeth.com for the face store. You know what else is probably not coming soon, but is coming, if you heard me talk about it, our knockoff Torchy's hat. Oh, yeah. And I think it's awesome. Yeah. Have we talked about that in the show proper?

I've mentioned it a bunch. Yeah. Okay. Just in general saying, I want to make a knockoff of this Torchy's hat. Right. And I think we've done it. I think we've done it.

I think we've done it. It is done. It's pretty good. No, I would say it isn't. Oh I think we've done it. I think we've done it. I think we've done it. It is done. It's pretty good. No, I would say it isn't. Oh yeah, that's right. You're definitely right.

But that'll be out in about two years. Yeah. Yeah. Give it two years. When you see me wearing it, it's two months out. Give it, give it six.

We got it. So the first one comes in, I say, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme,

gimme, gimme. I mean, the way it works is that we have to find a bunch of hats already. Yeah. Like, we don't just buy them, we have to find them. You want to talk about the new thing? What's that?

I don't know. I thought maybe you had something new to talk about. Yeah, you got the new thing ready? What new thing? I don't know. You tell me. It's new. How would I know?

I don't know the new thing. Oh, then he didn't. Yeah, I guess he doesn't. I just want to know if you had something new and you wanted to talk about it. Did I? No. Yeah, you. Yeah, I'm looking at you.

This is you. This is you. Anything new? No. Yeah, you. Yeah, I'm looking at you. This is you. This is you. Anything new? No. It's okay if you don't. Hang on, I'm thinking. Yeah, just say yes or no. Don't let all this hang in.

This is weird. Rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Thank you so much for listening. Every fortnight. Trying to draw it out. Every fortnight. Continues to out every fortnight continues to think don't skip one don't know nothing that we do maybe next time Thank you.