100% Eat - Cheez-Its Are Sexy? %% Taco Bell Big Cheez-It

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

Our Heroes think big and run for the border as they review the Big Cheez-It offerings from Taco Bell. Who is getting more out of this relationship: Cheez-It or Taco Bell? What are the ground rules? Why does Cheez-It want us to think they're swingers? A lot of questions, not sure if we get a lot of answers but we're gonna get to the bottom of this one. We've opened up shop at store.100percenteat.com so check out our Launch Collection and grab a shirt to support Our Heroes and show your 100% Eat pride or that you used to listen to Face Jam. If you could fill out this anonymous survey, it would really help us out: http://survey.podtrac.com/start-survey.aspx?pubid=GOq92kfJo4gY&ver=standard Support us directly Patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everyone, it's Eric. Wanted to let you know that we got merch set up at store.100percenteat.com. We have some new shirts, we have some classic designs, a lot of great stuff over at store.100percenteat.com. Support 100% Eat, let people know that you used to listen to Face Jam. A lot of great stuff. But for now, enjoy the episode. Welcome to 100% Eat, the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside Michael's Jordan Sweers.

Jordan, how are you? She's another ho-hum episode. Low energy for Michael again. Can't you at least get a little amped up? You're about to get body slammed. I'm sorry, I'm just absorbing the environment. He didn't even go out and see the ring. Can't you at least get a little amped up? Right yeah, yeah, he didn't even go out and see the ring he doesn't need Oh, yeah, you know did you people yeah, well the doors open yeah, there's so I don't think the doors open as much as there's a hole in the wall yeah

What is a hole in the wall if not a door yep? There are uh it is it it is a restaurant. That's right Nick That's mm-hmm. We're at aves in Austin. We're at a APW America's Academy professional wrestling They're letting us record here, which is nice. It's very nice. Yeah, we have this beautiful set decoration Yep, and you might think oh wow is this just like a shitty plastic table your goddamn right it is right right This is the name even our temporary new home Yes, and we love it. Yeah, I described it as I'm being sarcastic as a long-term temporary solution yeah um I

This isn't even one of the tables they like break and no no no we have those those are stored They probably would have broken. Oh, yeah Yeah, oh shit. Yeah you know on paper, a relationship, a business relationship between the American Academy of Professional Wrestling and Striking Distance LLC is a match made in heaven. Right, and I feel like I helped bridge the gap

because it's like food monster but wrestling body. Oh, that's true. If you showed up. I can pop my shirt off and fucking go in the ring. I'm not joking. If you showed up my shirt off and fucking go in the ring I'm not joking if you showed up in the shape that you're in like this to One of the wrestling classes they would be like so when do you want to start? We don't you don't even know how to do anything. Just please. Yeah, dude I learned how to do a backflip in one four hour session all I'm telling you is the other

And you only hurt your neck once and that was not And that and that was on the second try. Yep, and that was not on a bouncy. No. No, this is uh, well the ring isn't bouncy It's probably got a little it's got a little little bit more than a floor. Uh, yeah. Yes. It's about neck-and-neck Look, I hope not. Yeah, it is you could do it. I could just go out there and get my ass kicked yeah, oh, yeah Yeah, well as long as Brad Stover doesn't come out as I kick soccer balls They'll teach you here how to tuck your chin and take a bump the right way. You're fine exactly see oh he does that all the time He's ready. Oh, you look like Pedro Pascal. Yeah Mama Mia

That's when he was what was he Luigi? Yeah, yeah, he was Luigi. No. That's Luigi Mario, right? Yeah He was Mario. Yeah, Luigi primo. Who's the pizza guy Luigi primo another rest my favorite wrestler orange Cassidy What did we eat here today? What are we doing this? But if you're not watching the Taco Bell cheese it crunchwrap supreme and Bitch is a toaster That is what it is the Taco Bell Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme and Big Cheez-It Tostada! That is what it is Cheez-It menu?

Two great brands that go together Taco Bell and Cheez-It They just made a big ol' fuckin' Cheez-It Yeah, I mean it really Like real big It really was Yeah, it showed up Way to go bud Talking about that burp parage

It's the size of the box Like it's about about that. It's I told you it just the size of the box Like it's about this size. It's a little smaller, but like that's how it fits it is It is really just a cheese it and they made it bigger And that's it it was not that nothing magic yeah, we can talk about the expectation Yeah, real quick because I was not expecting it to literally be a big cheese It no I thought maybe it was there were gonna be cut ease it does yeah cutting some corners recipe wise you can't cut this It's a huge I did a huge cracker I did think just because it's a big cracker of like man how like someone drops a box and it's like oh

I just broke 400 big cheese. Yes. You know I mean like it must be so fucking fragile How do they transport right? No 400 cheese it how many fucking cheese it so they break in a Taco Bell? They are they are pretty sturdy as well I mean I surprise like the the moisture did not sink down. No it survived Uh, it didn't sink down, but I ate it pretty quick. Yeah, I I did see speak of when this was a First came out people going don't let it sit now eat it quick I do think that that's the difference between the crunch wrap version and the tostada

Which is why I wanted to get both because I I had a feeling that that Crunchwrap, it's gonna be soft. It's just wet in there. It was pretty moist. It's just wet. But I figured the Tostado was gonna have barriers, so you could like pick it up. And I started that word,

and I thought you were gonna say berries, and I was like, why the fuck would it have berries? Well, yeah, it's like, you idiot. Barriers. Had a bunch of NoHo hanks, and it would, you pick it up, but you could pick it up gentle, and it would like, it it up But you could pick it up gentle and it would like it would hold together Biting it it would all fall apart. Yes. Why was there so much lettuce?

What why did why did Michaels have so much cheese? Why was there so little everything else? Right. Yeah question, but it's true. I think I had more cheese than the two of you combined. Definitely I think ours were the standard, yours was that normal. They knew. They took a very nice smiling picture of Jordan. Yep. I describe it as like, if you looked at mine, it would look like a piece of shit. Because it is a piece of shit.

But man, when you put it next to Jordan's, it's like we were saying, it's like mom got hungover and made your lunch in the school for morning and like forgot a bunch of shit. A bunch of Cheez-Iits and then a salad on top. It's just like four strings of cheese and some lettuce and you're like mom what the fuck? Yeah, the fuck's going on here. When you first open it that is the look that's the vibe And then also I was looking for the cheese-it. Why is there an empty martini glass? It was all stuff piled up onto it Eric took a great sequence of photos where I open it looking at the camera Yeah, look down at it and then get closer

Where's the food part? Yeah, I I do think that you could have used the breakfast salsa to dress your salad It's never gonna be not funny, I'm sorry It's never gonna be not funny. I'm sorry. It's just really It's not just the phrase right right like there's how many Nostrad I mean Nostrad doesn't have a memory with it. Yes That's just silly. Uh-huh because because because because is Eric trapped in the corner getting fucking pissed Nick breathing down his neck Me going. Oh, no, I have to ask about the drinks. Like all that is what makes it funny forever. Going, because Pete, because Pete, because Pete. And then it's not even the name. It's the fury that it caused.

And then finally went, and then in the middle of the episode he goes, oh. Texas Pete. It says Texas Pete. I... I... Fuck. Oh my God.

This breakfast salsa, you can watch on the ride along. Good. Whoa. I got it. You got it. It lived. That was crazy. Not the second time.

Nope. I'm strong. You can watch the ride along where we get out of the car. One, two, three. New champ. We had to get out of the car because we couldn't go through the drive-through to pick up our food. Is that the free deer flies? We're swashing on the swab.

So we had to walk in. You said had to, we got to. So we're so close to the Taco Bell, oh record the ride along on the way there and on the way back, and then we park and we're like, I mean we're not going to record inside the Taco Bell, and we're like, let's record audio. So record inside the Taco Bell We're like that's record audio So there's audio if you want to hear and maybe a picture of Lou Anne from King of the Hill remains to be seen Of us maybe a picture of the Lou Anne platter So then it's it's us inside the Taco Bell and

Me and Michael have a conversation about the breakfast salsa and I go hey, you ever had that like it's that snore Oh breakfast salsa right to normal people and then we go I'm waiting forever to pick up this fucking food because no one at Taco Bell will look at you or talk to you well if you're not in a car they yeah you could be dead to them you're a second-class citizen we in here. But then Nick sees the breakfast salsa. Oh! Breakfast salsa? I haven't tried this. For about 15-20 seconds I was I was pantomiming where I was like and we're walking in and we're inside now and we're doing it and then I was like anyway and then Nick started what he always does and I kept going by the way this is not a bit

The breakfast salsa fucking suck shit, what is that? It's it's like a vinaigrette. Yeah It tastes like salad dress you described it more as a dressing than anything Like what that even I tried it and was like like yeah, you're right. It's just vinegar. Yeah, it tastes like salad dress you described it more as a dressing than anything like what the hell even I tried it And was like like yeah, you're right. It's just vinegar. Yeah, it's not bad But what a fuck would I want a taco or breakfast? And it knows that in no world would you consider it salsa as well? No, no no no no you if you had a bunch of salsas laid out and that was on and be like it's it's like This one clearly doesn't so wet. There's no chunk to it in any way. I know thin there's someone revving up those fingers right now, and they're about to leave a comment Yeah, they're about to leave a comment. Well, maybe people don't want something spicy in the morning

Maybe you don't want fire sauce in the morning. You're eating Taco Bell Breakfast you have does not I don't doesn't matter what you want. Which by the way is Taco Bell just they add egg. There's a hash brown. It's not okay. Like like the breakfast quesadilla is a quesadilla with an egg in it. Uh-huh. And so just have the salsa. It's like that time we went to that restaurant. It's like that time we went to that restaurant. You got the burger. They put an egg on it. They put an egg on it. It was a breakfast burger. That goes back even further than Taco Bell. That was, God, that's probably 12 years ago. We were really reminiscing. We were really reminiscing in this one

because we were talking about the tostada and the Crunchwrap and everything. And I was saying, as far as a Crunchwrap goes, I think it's overrated. I think people like really love it and like abide by it. It's talked about a lot. It is, a lot. But then you started listing off the things that are like, here's like abide by it. It's talked about a lot. It is a lot. But then you started listing off the things

that are like, here's like the top tier. And it was just Jordan going, yep, yep, yep. Michael and I are aligning on Taco Bell. Fucking crazy. It never happens for it is why this show exists. Exactly. Yeah. In a lot of ways we do owe Taco Bell.

Yeah. It's true. It's true. Just you getting your guts fucking knocked around. Yeah, dude. Back before I had won. Yeah, oh, that's right. Before I getting your guts fucking knocked around back before I won. Yeah, oh that's right. I beat the lactose intolerance. Now I'm super tolerant. Did you hear that guy? He's lactose tolerant. Any cheese or dairy could be whatever they want inside me.

They can be anything. Happy Pride Month everybody. We do owe a lot to Taco Bell. We owe nothing to Cheese It though. Our review will not be clouded by rose tinted glasses. It never has been. No, but man, Cheese It, that is an all-timer snack for me. You can shovel them. The thing about Cheese It though, what I will say, for a packaged product, it's wildly all over the place. How much dust you get. Oh yeah.

Sometimes you get a Cheez-It, it's like Dust City, and sometimes it's like, where the fuck is the dust? You gotta have the dust. You can taste the difference. The dust that collects at the bottom of the package. No, no, I mean like sprinkle on the Cheez-It, right? I need the saltiest burned cheese it that's my shit Do you like they make an extra toasty one? Do you go for the extra toasted they suck? They're not they're not it's like they're trying to yes

They're not the truly burned flavor the truly burned ones are on accident. Yes, I can't recreate He just fell into a rage because on paper it is what he wants, but they didn't even do it right no anger It's I get it you justified in your anger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You dumb fuck. It's like using liquid smoke for something and going yeah it's smoky and it's like that's no it's not it's not the right thing. You're it's that simulacrum like you're close. You dumb fuck. Just burn the cheese. It's just okay we bake them for eight minutes. Bake them for eight minutes and 45 seconds right do it on accident the best What they need to do is collect the ones they accidentally that's what I'm saying one at a time

You know purpose there's just one person on the line is just like burn Cheese it burn box. Yeah, but then like every fifth one They leave they leave for the people who like the occasional burned one in there leave it in there You know it's just like a cheese it running in their regularization. You gotta leave it in there, you know? It's just like a Cheez-It running on like a mission. It's like, you just been burned. Yeah! UGH!

I think Todd Womack is a guy we used to work with all the time. We'd go like, Burn Notice was really like the last great show about a spy who was doing something with a Burn Notice. It was like, that's true. He's the last great guy to get burned notice. Yeah. And Bruce Campbell. Yes, Bruce Campbell was in it. Yeah, the burn cheez-its are my wife's least favorite They're my favorite. There is nothing better. You gotta get two separate cheez-its You got the burn one. I mean she'll just pick them out off to the side and she's like that's for you

It's and I go out and I fucking go crazy. It's like when you have a gremlin. Oh camera camera camera stop hang on hang on pause So so last time the video the camera was Yes, and it died on overheated. I yeah, yeah, I props off. Yeah, Nick's like I'm gonna monitor it this time then it just died again. We all cuz we're in this tiny room Yeah, we all know what the fuck huh. Oh, I didn't plug it in yeah What the fuck huh? Oh, I didn't plug it in yeah The batteries on the on these cameras are dog crap. It's old and shitty old and shitty But hey now it's plugged in but zero dollars there you go doll again this we I said this in the ride-along We appreciate the support so much. We are scrimping and saving we're show

We are trying to spend it. You don't want to spend any money, so we can blow it on frivolous shit, okay? We're gonna make this show We're gonna we're gonna do as little spending as possible and give you the best show as possible And you might think if you spend a little bit more it might be a little bit better And we say no, it's fine the way no no no the dump stuff will just be dumb It's fine the way it is The burn cheese it in the freshly opened package in the big box where you open the bag right away is the best flavor It's a top five flavor in the world for me. Do you ever go with like the white cheddar?

Every time I try a different kind of cheese it I'm disappointed. There's a Tabasco one. I've had it. It's fine It's not there's some the regular cheese it cannot be beat to me. That's like cool ranch Doritos It's right like be beat like they nailed it and this stuff is good It is anyway back to my cool. Yeah, the right the best one It's always the thing where work and where they call it cool American cool. Yeah Do they not know what a ranch is no? But they know what a cool American is yeah Well, they're not looking at you yeah, I'm in the room actually you're not in the room

It's a very small room But I think she's it I'm sort of impressed with what this thing is because I did sort of expect It to just be like the Doritos Locos tacos where you're like this is close and it doesn't also wouldn't have surprised me if they made a taco as they normally did and just threw a bunch of cheese it's in there it's just like what's the what's the shipment process there we have boxes of cheese it's chuck some in we can talk we could drop these ones yeah we can talk about it when we get into like the actual food like the review or whatever but I think maybe the Crunchwrap could have used that instead of the big one oh interesting point a handful I think a

handful would have been better all right well we gave our taco opinions that's me but also we know how obsessed this guy is with his burnt cheese it so like I didn't realize there would be such a I love cheese it's a bar for him going into it yeah he's a cheese evangelist top five flavor in the world Oh in the world burn cheese it freshly open from the it's like yeah I can feel like my taste buds and like the sides of my tongue like they're like activating I'm going ooh. I love it. It just has like a flavor that I love I watched Rocco and Kevin and Johnny for mega 64 who yeah friends Rocco the food guy yeah guys. I know yeah

Our enemy. They got that. Or Arch Nemesis. Dude. It's a one way rivalry. Yeah. He doesn't know anything about us. Send him an invitation, we'll meet him in the ring.

He wore nice. He wore a face-dress jacket. Put me, Rocko, and some fucking food and we wrestle on top of it. Yeah, you guys roll around in it. And we roll around, we eat each other. Oh man. I mean, we eat the food.

What was the, was this for their convention? Yeah, yeah. When they were in the wrestling ring doing a figure review while a wrestling match was going on? They were like, oh, that's such a good video. We double booked the event, so it's Rocco and Sean doing an anime figure review, and then Derek comes in and starts announcing a wrestling match, and then two wrestlers who review, and then Derek comes in and starts announcing

a wrestling match, and then two wrestlers who we know in San Diego came in and just had a match in the middle of them continuing to do this figure review, and they just start smashing into these fucking things. Oh, it's great. It's like two things happening simultaneously, not interacting, and then it bleeds over, and they're using the table, and then I think one of the wrestlers picks up the

Oh, yeah, and chucks it at rock Did you ever see that bit on Conan when he did the slip nuts? Oh, yeah Oh where the slip nuts slip floundering around it's slipping on nuts It's like it's like three like old-timey characters a bunch of nuts on the ground and they slip on them And it was like a thing of like we tried to book slipknot But we actually booked this but then after they did it a couple times they actually Went to a slipknot show they went to like a festival or like and they announced like slipknot Yes, and the ground crazy and they came out and did that and people started fucking booing

and just throwing shit at them It rocked. They did all they were like backstage and they're like praying backstage. It's so fucking funny. It's like people are fucking angry. It was awesome. It was not a big for the audience. No, no, no. It's like John Glaser and a couple like the other guys who are on pretty frequently.

Sounds like they're kind of a bit, yeah. Fucking great. But I watched Rocco and a couple of these guys eat this thing, and I didn't know what to expect from it because Johnny and Kevin were both like, yeah, it's whatever. Rocco ate it and was like, like sat silently for like minutes in like this, like middle distance glare

of like, did I like this? Right, right, being honest. Well he was talking to it, it was stomach. It was really like this? Right, being honest. He was talking to his stomach. It was really like a couple conversations going on. What do you think? What do you think, Leg? I think I was down there. I think he just didn't, I think he didn't like it and couldn't come to terms with it.

But really something. Usually you don't have to think that hard if you like something. That's what I thought, but hang on. I might like it. Give me a minute. Hey we should learn about Taco Bell. Teach me teach me. ASMR. Half the people just fell asleep. Yeah it was Nick in the hallway. All right here we go our last Taco Bell episode as Face Jam. Oh, so now this is a fact.

Right. Hey, if you used to listen to Face Jam, buy a shirt. Our last Taco Bell episode as Face Jam was February 27th, 2024, where we ate the cheesy chicken crispinata. It received an average rating of 79.5. Wow! That's good. Yeah, that was February got no memory that yeah yeah was I just I remember being disappointed by the Baja blast mm-hmm and here you are

it was watered down oh you are again oh we'll talk about Taco Bell's live moss scholarship awards ten million dollars it's live ma oh Taco Bell's live moss scholarship awards ten million dollars to students every year and all they have to do to be eligible is make a video less than two minutes long about their passion to make a difference. We had 100% love free money so maybe we want to fleece this award and record a video for this right now? Well dude, isn't the Taco Bell video I made, isn't that another two minutes?

Uh, no it's just over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so wouldn't count for this. Hang on. It doesn't even have anything to do with Taco Bell, just our passion about making a difference. Yeah, yeah. So, okay, ready? And, okay, action. Hello, I am a high school senior

looking for the LiveMoz scholarship, and I'm here to talk to you about my passion to make a difference. Here at 100% eat We believe that food is the thing that brings everyone together and the power to change the world They're in Don't eat the crunch wrap supreme get the cheesy cordita crunch give me ten million dollars We're gonna send that to Taco Bell excellent yeah what is it well this week scholarship now right now we have to invent a school

yeah that just funnels we can do it I saw that movie what was that movie I had the the Mac guy oh accepted yeah the Mac yeah yeah yeah yeah ask me yeah my wiener classic 2008 humor it's stuff. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, was that Jonah Hill? Yes Yeah, God, he was back then and then he was different then he was different then he was different And then he kind of went back. Yeah, and then he was different again. Don't worry asshole. Yeah Don't worry. He's going to there. He's different again. He's going to therapy. He's fine. The Taco Bell has donated The Taco Bell Foundation has donated 23 He's setting boundaries. The Taco Bell Foundation has donated $23 million in grants to over 450 youth-

Can we be one of them? organizations this year alone. Most recently, they bestowed $12,400 to fight youth food insecurity in Utica, New York. Taco Bell should just donate their Cheez-Its menu to these kids. Camera turned off again. Imagine not knowing where your next meal is coming from,

then someone hands you a fucking cheese it crunch wrap supreme The most Willy Wonka ass meal you could possibly have other than the Willy Wonka ass meal from IHOP life changer What happened this time? cool Guys, they might have to unscrimp and save a little yeah Yeah, there's some sort of stupid sleep mode thing going on with this snake mode sleep Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's some sort of stupid sleep mode thing going on with this slick mode sleep There's no I'll tell you what I'm exhausted with this god damn camera take the battery out do we know runs?

Do we really on the electrical input? He's jiggling? Why would that make it because because because it's it's the the connection isn't secure So it's plugged in and still not charging so now you got to do this thing where you like loop the Wire to hold it in a certain position. I know exactly what he's doing it He's got his eye on it dude there now my mic won't come on are we waiting or are we rolling? Good fact Willy Wonka ass meal from IHOP life changing. Seamless edit. $12,400 is really making a difference.

But we're going to get $10 million for the video we just did. We should get the other $23 million too. I know they said to have 450 youth focused organizations, but we just have to make 450 youth focused organizations. We could do that, right? Then we can use some of that you know how easy it was to make one company yeah some of that combined 43 million dollars to maybe buy a new camera um no this one works this one isn't gonna turn off whole like son of a bitch you Do you hit record? Imagine he didn't I'm not monitoring it. All right, but now now he did do that When we went in to do the Michael Jordan podcast when you didn't hit record on the zoom

That's that's the thing. He's good at this is totally different. He did that on purpose. That was all engineered All right Let's for the love of God try and get through this fact sheet before There's no way this camera turns off. This fucking phone explodes. That fucking blows up. I was literally just gonna say it. Remember when you were recording with your new iPhone 15 and it just froze? That was the fucking craziest shit. That was awesome. Like, how, why? Known issue, apparently.

Less than 24 hours ago, Mashed posted an article by Hannah Skinner stating that people miss the Belle Beaver and it ranks as the favorite discontinued item in Taco Bell history. Um, Mashed? Give him 30 minutes after finishing this Taco Bell and the monkey will show you a Belle Beaver. Stinky.

I feel like this tumor is below us to be honest. Ridiculous. It's just, it's hard to do. It's a callback, it's a callback to our very first Taco Bell episode where we talked about the BellBeefer being a fart. So this is for all those, this is all for the classic jammers who used to listen to face jam. No guys. 100% eat.com. You get the bell beaver reference.

Now you legally have to buy. Yeah you have to. Used to listen to face jam. Yeah. Available now. Yeah. One of the URLs will work. No actually this joke is good. Look if store.100%eat.com doesn't work. Try myshopify.100% Nope, it's wrong. 100%eat.myshopify.com That's correct. Yeah. Give that a shot. But it's not your Shopify, it's our Shopify.

Yeah, we've been really clear. Well, you guys have been really clear about that. Right, if you type in our Shopify, it will not take you to our Shopify. Yeah, again, been very, very clear about that off the jump. It's not yours, it's ours. Yeah, I understand. The final fact.

In February of this year, a West Virginia couple threatened workers at a Taco Bell so much that the manager had to call the police. The couple claimed their food was broken and quote, it's crap. I tried to call corporate, it's closed. Your manager Jeremy didn't give a fuck, just hung up the phone on me. The man yelled, I'm about to file a lawsuit against fucking Taco Bell. Y'all think I'm joking? Watch. It's unclear if the man filed a lawsuit against Taco Bell, but hey buddy, how about you shut up and just write a negative Yelp review like the rest of us? Fucking pussy.

Or do both, you know? Do the Yelp review. Let the Yelp review be like the complaint, the legal complaint. You take that, you write,? Do the Yelp review. Have the Yelp review be like the complaint, the legal complaint. You take that, you write, you write the Yelp review and then you print it out and you take it to a lawyer and you go, sue them. This is legally binding.

I just made us $10 million. That's, live moss. Live moss. I don't know that I would eat Taco Bell and then go like oh it's broken It's great. We spent five minutes talking about how we were impressed that it wasn't broke right? Yeah, it's a big fucking cheese it like how did it not break? They must break so many so many So man and and I bet they don't fucking care. I bet they broke. They'll probably give me one

I'm surprised one of these wasn't broken. Yep already. Yeah, I didn't break the cheese it, but it did break your spirit That's just the show in general honestly It's a bell be for is it Yeah, that was a stinker all right Is it a Is it a explicitly American stereotype that like when something doesn't go wrong, right? The biggest threat you can make is pursuing that? That has to be like uniquely American. No, it is.

A million percent. I feel like that is also a gross misunderstanding of how the legal system in this country works as well. You think that the people who are mad about their broken Taco misunderstanding of how the legal system in this country works as well. You think that the people who are mad about their broken Taco Bell know how the legal system works? Yeah. They just saw law and order.

They saw law and order and they went, that should be me against you. That's it. Well, it's easy when you got like the power of like, you know, the city or the state. No, no, you're going the state. No, no, no. You're going somewhere else. No, no.

Right behind that van. Gamer subs, gamer subs, gamer subs. Can I stop? My nose is going. These people have no idea what it's like, what the legal system is. The last lawsuit that was anything was the guy in like August of last year that's like, I'm suing Taco Bell and Chick-fil-A and Hershey's and whatever for gross misrepresentation

of like your food that I get doesn't look like what the picture is. And it's true now more than ever, but it's also been true our whole lives Yeah, like somebody finally did something about it finally instead of just talking a big game Like this fucking guy he went for yeah Fucking pussy. That's right. I'm gonna sue you Manager at Taco Bell

Jeremy doesn't fucking care Jeremy is a named defendant in the lawsuit. I'm suing Taco Bell and Jeremy. Just trying to think what law is broken here. Yeah. Well, it's, Jeremy didn't give a fuck and it's crap. Yeah. It's right there in the West Virginia state constitution. Taco Bell has to care.

It's the thing where it's like, I'm going into the target without my mask on even though COVID's happening. And then they're going, well, you can't come in without a mask. And they're like, bye. I'm going to film a confrontation. I thought this was a free country. I'm going to call the police and the police go, they're a private business. They can, they have a right to refuse you. No, I'm right. I'm inconvenienced. I'm there for Stan. Yeah, I'm gonna go home and drink some more lead. I'm really gonna I'm gonna finish sucking the mercury out of my thermostat. That's right We were the last generation to drink out of the hose. Yeah Hits different now I can the wall

Yeah, easy stuff we're starting first bit that comes out is always hot No matter the season, huh? Because it's just hanging out right there for me. Yeah, anyone else taste metal. Hmm. Yeah all the extra. Yeah, I Don't want else my god days when water tasted cheese. I got more metal than you fuck fluoride I'll put fluoride brainwash me For people they're going get this fluoride out. Don't you brainwash me? Might be backwards when every time you turn the faucet on you you gotta look for a second. Make sure you don't see any fluoride. Because if you see some coming out, turn it off, give it a minute, and then turn it back on. It should be fixed.

You want to run it. No, take the hose off, go straight from the pipe. Oh, that's good. Oh, you're just doing a little faucet subtle? Because there might be like fluoride residue inside your long, long hose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean they started lacing the hoses with it. It's all part of the conspiracy This is good. This is how that's why I'm selling go to a floor right free hose calm And buy my special floor free hoses for white guys on microphones. We're definitely gonna start some conspiracy theories here today

Yeah, we're gonna. It's about time. Yeah enough is enough. Yeah You're about fluoride in these hoses guys and now wait for our takes on the WNBA I'm a stone's throw away from talking about teachers again for too long hey we're all just jealous of Caitlin club oh oh what is it June 4th what are teachers doing nothing enjoy your summer vacation, you lazy bums. Speaking of, by the time this comes out, this coming Sunday, as of the release of this episode, we'll be doing a live show at the Sunset Room. This is all kind of like last minute. Which is in Austin, Texas.

It is. And it's part of Home Brew Austin, which I think is sort of like an RTX offshoot thing. I don't know if you know about Rooster Teeth. It was a company. It shut down. So these people are kind of trying to put something together. They asked, hey, do you want to do a show?

We said, yeah. It's June 16th, by the way. Fodder's Day. At 2 p.m. Central time. It won't be 24, but we are recording it. It will be an episode. There you go. And the reason I brought it up on the back of teachers

is that Brett will be there, the guy we helped in Hawaii. Yeah, and you said he's going to bring the big check for us. Yeah, all the money returned to us. Yeah, with interest. Oh, definitely with interest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A big novelty check that says thanks our heroes in the memo line.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a suitcase full of cash. And then we all, so he hands it to us and we all stand there like this Yeah, and then and then we say prayers up for Lahaina and then do nothing else But it says face you I'm on it we have to cross it out in front of 100% he is we're different now well then but then true heroes we write to Brett yeah Give it back to whoa that's whoa. That's that'd be so impressive for us. Yeah We're There you go We're now we're done. Yeah, but then but then we smash it over his head. Yeah wrestler comes

Power bomb them through the check The monkey comes out he starts pumping up the crowd Monkey in a speedo in the mask and oh hell yeah yeah he sounds like he's not doing that on Father's Day you know you love him daddy sauce monkey I think if anyone should probably go anywhere's a tie oh he's getting in the donkey on yeah yeah yeah I don't know if you should have the time Yeah, dad. Mmm. Nice. Fuck that guy. Yeah get off. Yeah, what family does Donkey Kong have like direct blood family? Did he is his nephew? Yeah, he has a sister. I guess he is his nephew cranky Kong is cranky

He's a grandpa. Yeah cranky Kong's like a red card in the movie. What they said, it's his father Oh really in the Mario movie? Yeah, it's my's like we're saying red cond in the movie what they said. It's his father. Oh really in the Mario movie Yeah, it's my dad and I was like lazy lazy Lazy honestly lazy dad his dad was the guy in Donkey Kong It's cranky Kong. Oh no. He was the one stealing Pauline. Yeah, yeah, that guy stealing Pauline throwing barrels at Mario That's donkey Kong's dad. Oh daddy died in the monkey wars It's just a bunch of apes fighting in the nick of man's going

If you remember early on in like Mario Kart on the SNES he was called Donkey Kong jr He was that's true Any. That they dropped the Jr. And he was like red and he wore a tank top. It's like, your dad's dead, but he's gone, you Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong Jr. was the one who climbed the vines, right? Yeah, yes. In the arcade game? He would swing over and.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Tarzan swang. Donkey Kong Jr. would also swing, but not sort of back and forth, he would like reach. Okay. Yeah, it was like a. Yeah, it was pretty good. That didn't look like swinging. Yeah, it was like yeah, that's pretty good. You know like when you're excelling Where's the key jar oh

Now we're Hollywood swinging. I like it. Do you want to wrestle? Anyway, we should fuck around a little bit. Yeah, yeah, I think I think we might be on to something there Taco Bell cheese at Crunchwrap Supreme, Big Cheese at Tostada. Hit us with what it is. Big Cheese at Crunchwrap Supreme $5.49. What a steal of a deal. Like its original counterpart, this Crunchwrap Supreme includes seasoned beef warm nacho cheese sauce crisp lettuce cool reduced fat sour cream and diced tomatoes But the typical tostada shell is replaced with a big Cheese it cracker before being wrapped inside a tortilla. That's grilled to go um We replaced the seasoned beef with steak yes,. And boy, that's what the fuck I'm doing from now on. Yeah?

Dude, that, yes. Oh, the steak's way better. The steak was so good. That was so much better than like the seasoned beef in that form. Cause I love this, I love Taco Bell seasoned beef. I fucking love it. It is trash food and I really, really enjoy it.

But that steak in that Crunchwrap gave it... Mm-hmm. So it wasn't a mush mess. At least there was like something. I have a system. I appreciate it. I have a system, right? If I get...

This thing's been around the Taco Bell a time or two. Couple million times. If I get a combo, right? I'll get the quesadilla. I always get steak. I get the steak quesadilla. Then I get a crunchy taco with it. I leave it the I'll get the quesadilla. I always get steak. I get this steak quesadilla Then I get a crunchy taco with it I leave it the beef and then if I get a cheesy Gordina crunch and make it chicken and so I hit the trifecta Wow steak the beef and the chicken make all three food groups. I got it the Holy Trinity. I got it, dude

This the snake the snake the state snake. They should do snake I've eaten snake and like in like a hot dog We went to the fair one time and they used to have rattlesnake and then we're like Oh, you guys still have snake and he's like no, but if you bring me one, I'll cook it. That's cool And we're like, haha, you know it Who's like I mean just would you bring it and I'll cook it All right, we gotta go do I have to kill it first if you want I mean you do every one bring bring me snake put it in a bucket

He's swinging from the snakes Swinging with those things. I'm one of the snakes then again. I'm gonna get my spatula, and I'm gonna cook it I'm cooking the snake I'm gonna get my spatula, and I'm gonna cook it and I'm cooking the snake He's cooking a snake and killing another snake at the same time Your chair squeaking while you did that Yeah So good

Big Cheez-It tostada $3.99 The Big Cheez-It tostada features the Big Cheez-It Cracker topped with layers of Taco Bell seasoned beef Diced tomatoes crisp lettuce Shredded cheese maybe and cool reduced fat sour cream. I don't know if layers is a word I don't know if I don't know if there was a layer Piling's yeah dumpings of these things and scripts of food

Sprinkling smatterings if you will. Oh he's definitely smattering. I don't know what's so cool about this sour cream. I didn't notice anything. It wasn't wearing sunglasses. Maybe it's like a temperature thing? Huh? Cause it's cold. The thing. Not in this room. What's getting there? The AC's on. I'm sure that vent's doing something. It's still better than outside. God damn right. Thank God they blacked out the windows. We'd be cooking in here.

Well, it is, we are attached to... What is behind this... I'm guessing a window. This floor mat. Kickboxing gym. Okay. Old guard kickboxing gym is right next door. And when we cut promos here on Mondays, we have to wait until they're done.

They're done kicking? Because they kick so loud. Are they going hi-yahs? There's a lot of yelling, like a lot of like force whatever, but when you can like hear the kicks through a wall, what the fuck? I mean, they're probably just kicking the wall. You think so? There's a bunch of people kicking this wall.

They're just gonna be like, they're gonna think this is so cool. Those wrestlers are gonna think we're awesome. I saw a kickboxing exhibition here during a wrestling show one time. They're like, oh, we're gonna have two of the guys from the old yard gym come over and do an exhibition. I don't remember what one guy's name is. The other guy's nickname was Raccoon Hands.

And I will never forget awesome raccoon hands Normal man hands that's what I'm saying. I needed him to be a little and squirrely, but what's the difference raccoons? Have very human like hands yeah, but they don't like thumb thumbs. You know what I mean? They got like maybe had a little thumb you just didn't look Yeah, yeah, it's a better name than little thumbs Just sounded better than guy with rabies yeah thumbs or Just sounded better than guy with rabies yeah

He was in there, and he's foaming he was like he's like I don't drink water Why there's no water in You were like oh, what are you doing raccoons? Like maybe we can drink out of the sink, and I want you should not do that here. Don't do it here, please. My grandpa says it's fine. Oh my god. Hey, press material. Wow, we got some.

Quote, Cheez-It has always been about more than just snacking. No, it hasn't. That's a snack. 100% not true. What else are you doing with Cheez-It if. Not true. What else are you doing with Jesus? What aren't you doing with it? Oh? We were right back to he went to rock oh Why was Nick jingling his put him in the bowl oh my god

That's what he's that's that's what they're doing. That's elevating cheese it right there It's more than just about snacking Jingle jangle who wants to cook some snakes? It's the swing from some vine You know how like what what is it like pineapple is like the symbol of quote the life Yeah, yeah, yeah of the lifestyle. It's upside down. He was so quick. Archers, pineapples upside down! I put golden arches around

and upside down pineapple and I'm all about swinging with feet. It's cold. It's going to turn into Cheez-Its in a ball or Donkey Kong Jr. specifically. He's going to go over someone's in a bowl or Donkey Kong junior specifically He's gonna go over someone's house and he's gonna go

I know what you're saying He puts his keys in the door He talks to the cheez-its They leave the room, they come back, he's like, he's taking all his clothes off He has the mask and the tie I'm ready to strangle snakes Daddy Kong It should be the tie should have a snake on it Oh man The Thai! I'm ready to strangle snakes! Daddy Kong!

It should be the Thai should have a snake on it. Oh man. We've added so many layers to this. Oh man, that's great. We almost got through like the food. I would say unlike our food. The dumpings. We almost got through one sentence. Cheese It has always been about more than just snacking. It's about elevating cheese.

Is it? To new heights for salty snack lovers with an obsession for cheese and an appetite for excitement Little crackers, right? I don't know what we're talking about the crackers at four-year-olds eat, right? I think we're talking about whatever Nick was talking about Jessica Waller general manager away from home. Yeah, Kelenova? I have no idea what that is. What does it mean to elevate cheese to new heights for people with an obsession for cheese?

What does that mean? And an appetite for excitement. I'm doing a kick flip and eating some brie and I'm like, I wish there was a snack for me. Only there was a better way. I just want you to get to the end. Teaming up with Taco Bell has been an incredible experience for Kelenova to bring the Cheez-It passion for cheesy flavor and fun into new culinary territories so that fans of both brands want it, need it, cheese

it. Damn. Damn. This is the first time territories has been Jessica Waller signing off I think the stable might break well. It's not made for that, but if it does it was part of the show. It's fine Right right yeah, uh didn't help that. I was kicking it. What the fuck you were kicking it I get that you have to talk about your product as like Bigger culinary territories well being away from home, Kelenova. What the fuck is that the better Spider-Man movie? No, it's daily Tucci, the Rhino! Nick's getting thirsty. Hmm, Cheez-Its.

I like the way he said lovers. Want it, need it, Cheez-It? The undertones with the swinging is... It can't be accidental We may have accidentally uncovered some sort of Underground cheese it lifestyle. That's what Kelenov is all about is exploring fun new territory. I'll cheese you if you cheese me I'm gonna make it Cheese me

cheese me It's not your cheese it's our cheese ourcheese Shopify.com we need to lay down some ground rules for this cheese you can't eat it if I'm not there also no one at a time Only no double dipping you can be like a little rough with the chair and break don't break the cheese can't break the cheese That's too far You can lick the dust

If you bite off more than you can chew All you need to do is use the the safe word you know in case you're choking on the Cheez-Its what are you talking about if you put it in your mouth you got to swallow it that's that's it that's just the cheese these are the rule these are the cheese it rules we're all responsible for what we put in our mouths listen if you're saying that you want it then you're saying that you need it and between us cheese it on the list of things, like, anticipating where an episode might go? We're never gonna know, dude.

We're never gonna know. This is really... Cheez-It's so sexy. I'm fucking... This is great. If you had said that 50 minutes ago, I'd be like, shut the fuck up. But now I'm like, this is right. Imagine we were writing the script for this and it's I don't know cheese. It's you fuck them Fucking stupid yeah, dude the writers stupid the writers room for this was like. I don't know cheese. It's like swinging

I don't know is that a hat on a hat is cheese it dust and pheromone. I don't know is it an aphrodisiac oh Fuck dude, Kellen Nova's fucking freakville dude. I don't know is it an aphrodisiac oh? Fuck dude, Kelenov is fucking freakville dude. I don't know about that place It's fucked up, but now is the time where we've learned about the food our favorite new section and only new section mm-hmm So far we got rid of some other ones and out of this We've learned about the food and we've learned about what the companies have to say But now it's time to hear what you have to say in our segment you review Who would like to take the first one? Okay? I'll dive right in okay. I'll pull my keys out

Jingle jangle Valencia B writes first if they were out of nacho fries That's a sentence period Then the credit card machine declined my car twice not a credit card machine Okay, so then after being on hold for 15 minutes with my bank why they tell me my card is fine. It's Taco Bell machines The tables were dirty. I had to ask for a straw and napkins because they weren't stocked I don't suggest going here. I still want to know what if the nacho fries First if they were out of the nacho fries, but were they I know but if they were but if they were I'd be mad

Imagine going to Taco Bell your card is declined twice. I gotta call my bank. In whatever world that's happening. I gotta call my bank. I gotta call my bank. I gotta get these nacho fries they might not have. I have all the time in the world to get the food I don't want now. So I'm gonna get on the phone with my bank. For 15 minutes.

To get Taco Bell food that I don't want because they don't have nacho fries. If I can review the review, I feel like at the point where Valencia starts talking about the tables being dirty, she's just looking for problems. I totally agree with you. Like, you know, the other stuff, the legitimate complaint, the tables were dirty, you weren't staying. You're just looking for something to complain about. I need a straw.

I need napkins. Sometimes you have to ask for a straw and napkins. Did they that's if they give you a hundred straws, and you stock it yourself. No then shut the hell up That's right. Yeah, they don't put you to work. You got nothing to complain. Yeah, I asked for a straw They gave it to me It's a worker right there the the straw presentation in our Order was was quite something our guy like taped a whole bunch of them to the top of one of the the cups yep And like so they don't go anywhere. Yeah, yeah, it was great That was really he was one of the stickers they used to like keep the bags

They take the bag orders yeah, and he went you know he's going. I'm telling you was gonna catch on Yeah, right. It's like good burger sauce my move Yo, when this fucking takes off. I'm gonna be rich! Dude, George at Taco Bell off of L.A. St. I tell you what it ain't. Fucking Jeremy. Jeremy would never. Jeremy ain't innovating like that. Crap! Sue his ass. Alright, here we go. Go for it. Stephanie A said, fool me once. Dot dot dot dot dot. So the saying goes.

Okay, did I learn from my previous visits? No! No more, Dash. Absolutely no more. I will give this place my money. I ordered a steak flatbread and it's chicken. I ordered a steak gordita. It has barely half a scoop of meat. I used to work for Taco Bell. I know the portions I should be getting. To say this is to make more profit is an understatement. All capital I-R-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. I'm done, Dash. Stay away, Dash. Even for a cheap price. You should be ashamed. Dude, you know that's like, you gotta listen to them because they used to work there. I'm done dash stay away dash even for a cheap price. You should be ashamed

You know that's like you gotta you gotta listen to them because they used to work there I used to work here used to work there and nothing in the 15 years I used to work at the Taco Bell if you've ever heard of it, and so I know everything about all uh-huh I know the portion. I know what it was like in 1996 don't fucking try to screw me We had this promotion with Godzilla the little dog loved it. Where is he? He'll set this straight no no Kero Taco Bell Roll that are as awesome. I know you don't need to but I need to you're showing it off doing it for fun Yeah, one we have one more you review. Jordan, go for it. Alright, Tom S. Not Tom S. Tom S.

Told me they had run out of beans at midnight. Closes at 1am. Just went by another Taco Bell and asked if this is even possible? What? To run out of beans. They told me unequivocally, no! Beef, yes, but they'd have it restocked within the hour. I Thought I smelled something fishy with this many years going to this location and you have to guess which end of the burrito has The sauce I got complacent or lazy Also, I'm sorry many years going to this location you have to guess which end of the burrito has the sauce. We're back to swinging.

Yeah, I was gonna say. Whoa! Do you have to wonder which end of the burrito has the sauce? Don't you put that on yourself? I'm very confused. You wonder which end of the burrito has the sauce, and then the other end has the cheese it. Something fishy? Who just runs out of beans at midnight?

That's right. And our foreclosing's suspicious. Is that even possible? Oh, oh, oh, us? Another Taco Bell? We say unequivocally, no! Panda Express runs out of food at 2 p.m. Like, I have gone to order Panda Express at 2 p.m. and they go, we have white rice and

orange chicken. And I'm like, oh, what else? Oh, that's it How what you've been open for four hours beans running out an hour for closing Suspicious behavior something's fishy. I bet they're in there fucking in the bean Bean swinging don't know hey Taco Bell. let me flick your bean Everywhere you look now your mind's eyes Out of the pineapple you'll see the arches everywhere you look oh My god

So that's that's another another Taco Bell told him unequivocally No, it's impossible. He knows never run out of beans. So it's like oh you're out of beans. I'm going somewhere else. Hold on Goes to another one is it possible to run Are you asking if we have beans? No, no, no, I'm asking if it's possible that some other taco could run out of beans Hell no, could you ever run out of beans anyway? I want to come to a party. I'm having later jingle jingle jingle. You know what said the sauce is in well Oh, what hotel you staying at I think this will answer your question handful of cheese. It's That's just the way your whistle by big cheese for you guess which end the sauce is in

Guess what Jen the sauce is in? This is a weird back half episode. Yeah, how long have we been going? I would say 53. That's my guess. But now, that's their review. Now it's time for our heroes to review. Taco Bell. The cheeseIt menu.

The true review. Yeah. So what did you guys think of what this was? Very sad looking, first of all. As we mentioned. It looks awful. It's a giant Cheez-It, which is cool. You know, if you're a kid, you're like, well, the Cheez-It's huge.

And then they just put some meat, cheese stuff on it. Very sad presentation. Here's the other thing that just kind of sucks, because I will say the most impressive part about it is the big cheese Yes, right. That's just like oh they did it and I understand because it wouldn't make sense otherwise But you don't even get to see it no Because all the shits on top of it Yeah, I feel like you I like I kind of just want to see one with nothing on yeah Well look at this big cheese it will burn it up a little bit. He can fucking

If cheese it were smart they'd just be selling these big cheese. It's I don't know why they don't sell Johnny you buy a giant cheese a box. It has four cheese. Yeah, fuck. It's broken. Oh I dropped it I really just want a regular bag smash Crush up these giant cheese and then sell them like that It's just the dust crum it's you know the say bum it and crumb it that's it hey Want it need it crumb it bum it? Twist it Need it crumb it bum it Bob it Pop it twist it pass. Oh, yeah We're getting to the bottom of this

And pass it oh my god Can only do so much me and you just the other way just the other way too far too far. I only got two hands It's supposed to be me and you! Just the other way, just the other way! I only got two hands! So you really can't see the cheese it in the tostada. It's there, that's where you can see it mostly. I'm fucking hard pressed to see it inside the crunch wrap. I was so surprised, biting into the crunch wrap, you get the cheese it immediately.

It's like 95%. You can't avoid it. It's mostly cheese it, is the flavor. And it blends so well. And so good. It's basically you take a bite and it's cheese it. That's basically it. And it's like cool, they did a good job.

They made it, they made a big cheese it. It's a good crunchy cheese it. It tastes like a cheese it. This cheese it does not belong here. Why it it tastes like a cheese it this cheese It does not belong here. I'm not eating this other stuff right right right. I just want the cheese it now That's good. Dude all this pasta is really good. Yeah, but with this is an ice cream They just it's not even like they should never go together. It's just that No, I don't want to go together. I don't I don't really think it's not even like they should never go together. It's just that... No, I don't think they should go together.

I don't really think it's a good idea. The thing is, it's impressive because I was expecting it to be bad cheese it, like soggy, and it's kind of mushy in the crunch wrap, but you can't really do anything about that because it's basically insulated in its own moisture. And it's gonna soften, so it's a little mush mush But the flavor is there and they executed a big cheese it But I don't want all the other stuff on it. Yeah, so I can't really give it points because it just tastes bad Even though they executed the cheese it part well cheese it brought their a game to this collaboration I've been doing all the lifting and Taco Bell is just like Dead weight yeah, yep. Sorry Taco Bell.

Shackles and heavy balls. The old ball and chain. The old taco ball and chain. We were saying that... Get bonged. Eric did earlier. He ordered the food and a big ol' bong. Scared the shit out of me.

We were saying that it was weird like Doritos does the whole shell, and it's like a taco, and Cheez-It just went like, here's this big old Cheez-It, what do you wanna do with it? We made a big Cheez-It. I don't know, I don't know.

Fuckin' put it in there. Dude, the tostada is like, is so lazy. Oh, I totally agree. Here's a big Cheez-It, put stuff on top of it. You can't hold it, you can't eat it right. It falls apart. It's a shittier version of Mexican pizza. Yes, literally what it is.

So I guess the Crunchwrap, I wouldn't say it tastes better, but it's kind of just the same thing in different vehicles. It makes more sense. Yeah, it makes more sense. If you want just the big cheese it, get the tostada and just like crap everything else off.

Yeah, because of your habit to remove everything. Just give me the big cheese it get the tostada and just like crap everything else off Yeah, because it happens remove that just give me the big cheese it dude. I might do that And remove everything and just get a fucking cheese it in a big cheese I guarantee you do your kids will love the window and they're like you just want the cheese it I just want the cheese it you want a $4 cheese it god damn right I do Hell yeah, give me my $ dollar cheese it I'll fucking sue you. Is Jeremy in there? One dollar per side of this cheese it. So what do you think? Where does it kind of like land in terms of Taco Bell and...

This is one of their swings and misses as far as their creations I would say. Again because cheese it is bringing keep the keys in your pocket Not worth it. Yeah decline this invitation Save your cheese it for another day drinking over there. He's getting sweaty. Yeah Lord have mercy I'd be great I'm giving this one. It's it's it's not the worst thing in the world, so I'm giving it a 38% Um this is everything you said is accurate what I what I said

Earlier was like the one of the best things that Taco Bell is the cheesy or dita crunch And I love that it's got the the soft Taco shell and then the crunchy like good the crunch it's all soft taco shell and then the crunchy. So good. It's all in the crunchy and then the soft wraps around it. We talk about it all the time. The contrast of textures is one of the best. It works so well.

It is an elevation. It's like, oh, I get this and that and they're both good. It's like the soft shell is better. But you just get like that extra, oh, there's a crunch. Right? And it's like, wow, that works. And this is the opposite. This is like, well, you just shove that in there. There's no like, ooh, the taco, works, and this is the opposite this is like they just shove that in there

There's no I mean crunchy the taco ooh and the cheese it it's like yep That's a cheese it you put that in there It's in there doesn't work at all cheese It is here and the cheese it because as a cheese it is fine, but compared to the taco. It's so dry Yep, it's just like and it's weird, not to have your whole mouth be dry, but part of your mouth, it's like, this part's dry, but this part's wet. Because I'm still eating sour cream. It's goop and then it's not.

And it's two very different things happening that don't really accent each other at all. So... They're two great tastes that don't go together. I'm gonna give it... Taco Bell, you fucked up, dude. Wow. I like Taco Bell and I like Cheez-Its. Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna go 25%. Wow. Dang. Yeah. Man, I thought I was... Thought I was being kind. I... 31... 31.5.

That's a 31.5. Yeah, but I was like too kind. Yeah. Yeah, you were. Yeah. I was expecting a lower rating from you, to be honest. Yeah. I just really hammered Wiener since the last time

Can't be worried about that's their fault. Yeah, that's their fault I'll hammer every goddamn week if I have to that's on you man I'm not here to feel bad about some way is there some way I can just give the money We spent to cheese it because I feel like they deserve they deserve more. There's like an 80-20 split. Yeah, she's oh, yeah Yeah, you know they really know I don't know. I don't know the big cheese came in and really big dick them probably And they're just like this is the cut jingle jingle The guy who runs cheese it his name is big cheese, and he's just a he's an even bigger cheese. Yeah Yeah, it's like it's like Jack. It's a bit. Just a fucking cheese. Oh

You mean the number one rated restaurant on the show yeah on the entirety of Yeah, I keep every week an episode comes out, and it's like another week of Jack Well, I mean talk about don't blame cheese it no you know you blame wiener schnitzel if you want to I mean I'll still hammer wiener schnitzel for what the fresh out was friendship with wiener schnitzel is over. Yeah, dude that cheese It is my new best friend that yeah that really changed my ways But I'm not I'm not letting talk about fuck me anymore either You mean like screw you over with like you know like the app being shitty oh You mean like BONG!

Exactly. Oh, I see. Hey Jordan, let's get to a 100% fan shout out. If you sign up for the Patreon and you become a 100% fan, we give you a shout out in an episode. You get your message, you get your name read, there's even a thing so that way we say your name the right way. It's great You can also have a special place in the patreon for only 100% fans where you can see Chris

Give us an almost daily update about how his wife eats pizza weird and how she's defending herself Endlessly, it's not weird. It's with a fork. It's normal And also we also drop little sneak previews. Oh, yeah, if you do go to a swinging cheese at party Just like let me know if you hit that c-spot He went I don't know if we're gonna be able to come back I'm see if we can circle this Yeah, let me know you hit the c-spot Even fully bottom man, it's so wrapped around my ass. All right, who do we got this time Jordan? All right, this is from 100% fan Chaz Tampa

Okay, that's awesome now I assume I'm saying this name right because in the do you have a specific pronunciation for your name section? He wrote Chaz Tampa private investigator whoa that's cool I'm a Chas Tampa guy dude this is pretty cool I'd be the official detective of 100% just as a great like film before we get to get to the bottom of this. The sauce, the, the, the, the, the, which side of the burrito the sauce is on, there's fishy beans, anyway. Chaz Tampa is definitely investigating the Maltese Falcon and the missing beans. That's absolutely right. Hey, fool me once, so the saying goes. Why? Just say the fucking saying, idiot. Chaz says, just casually checking out the new podcast.

That's it? That's as best as Chaz Tampa. casually checking out the new podcast That's it That's awesome Chaz Tampa rocks damn dude dude Chaz Tampa's my also. I think that was like a Thanks buzz marketing attempt at his private investigation. It wasn't it wasn't an attempt No, if you want to give us $100 so you can promote yourself be my fucking absolutely that's a steal Yep, thanks have to give us way more than $ dollars absolutely 101. Yep. Yep. Thanks jazz Tampa. Hey our store is open You go to store it out 100% eat comm for merch new designs classic designs

twists on classic designs multiple colors let people know that you used to listen to face jam also women's cut women's cuts That's a big deal. Yeah, we got we got a lot of positive feedback on that. Thank you for thinking of us We are you know we're all feminists here. We're we're trying to some more than others, but There's levels of feminism Watch you look at Nick. I'll be honest. I did that was all him That's all fucked up The store was a big success. And what we're hoping to do.

How big? How much did we make? I'll tell you. Give us hard numbers right now. I'll tell you off camera. Oh, damn. I almost got him. Get him later.

What we're looking to do is probably cycle in some new designs and everything every few months, get some different stuff, maybe some old stuff. This is stuff that we own now. Yes. That already existed, that some of it got minor adjustments to that Eric can do in Photoshop. Exactly, right, I used to.

Let me just scribble it out. There you go. I thought you were gonna write that on every shirt. Jordan was supposed to hand draw him, fuck. And you know when we can make some new designs and stuff. I think we're gonna have some cool lines and stuff Yeah, I think that that's the plan having one ahead having these like occasional drops and hats move baseball Oh, I want to do a poster. Yeah, our new logo. Yeah, give me my give me shirts. Okay. Yeah Yeah, we'll get those the thing that people are requesting will get those and I'm keep saying he's just trying to shut you up

I know The thing that people keep requesting and I don't know if we can do we have to look into it There are the 100% eat ass booty shorts. They want those shorts again. That is that is a pretty niche product Yeah, but we'll look into it and see what we can do And it's not apparel is gonna be us having to put in a little more effort or investigation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we'll look into it. We also can maybe do a variant that says 100% eat

and it has a picture of cheese it on the ass. Whoa! Now we're talking. Now we're talking. So you can go check out the store. It's stored at 100% eat. It's an upside down cheese it and it says do you? Use it upside down. I don't know

You can also patient sign up for the patreon if you don't have holes Patreon.com slash 100% eat you can stay up to date with everything everything that were posted everywhere. It's all going to there Thank you everyone who's already a patron by the way this one. Yeah, yeah Pretty good. Yeah Go there. That's where you can see everything we post everything's public the stuff that you can't see is the stuff That's behind that $10 paywall Become a grackle and you get the Michael Jordan podcast every Friday, which has been sort of different week to week and It's been a lot of fun. I really like the Mike we We're vibing yeah for sure and I think it's fun.

It's fun to experiment with that show. We'll also if you sign up for the patreon you get into our discord which has been fucking great I don't like discord this has been fantastic. The discord has been kind of all the things we've done kind of the most surprising like everyone on there so so engaged and funny yeah like yeah I'm I check out my wordle yeah Michael's person is wordles every day like a 19-day streak people are doing fan art my favorite one somebody made some fan art to Gracie oh it was like you need to put a truck in the back yeah

it's coming right for her. We're going to be doing some food courts coming up and we'll do that on the Patreon. Then we'll record it and we'll release it and everything later. But if you want to participate, you want to see that live and everything, it'll be on the Discord that you get through our Patreon.

So go sign up at patreon.com slash 100% eat. It's also a way you could end up in the food court. That's true. And you can follow us at 100% eat. It's also a way you could end up in the food court. That's true. And you can follow us at 100% eat on Twitter and Instagram. Stay up to date on everything. You can watch the video version of this. Nick, great job editing this one, because it's a fucking mess.

Hell yeah. Five files. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Hey, and if you want to send us stuff, we have a PO Box. PO Box is now open. PO Box 14-32-41, Austin, Texas, 78714. That's PO Box 14-32-41.

You're having them send stuff to your house? Austin, Texas, 78714. Feel free to address it to Eric. I mean, you can put my name on it, it's fine. But you can send us stuff, we'll get it eventually. Maybe we'll do some openings and everything, snack attacks, things like that. I checked the PO Box today. Is it empty? Oh, fuck. Em, and then empty. Oh fuck

Empty you guys well the video version of this hopefully up on YouTube the more you engage with that the better it is for us So thank you very much But what's the best way should I should I watch it and then download it and all she's Christ? I pirate into your podcast is that good what? Just listen just listen to the podcast. I shouldn't have said anything fuck. Yep, Michael anything else Just listen to the podcast. We appreciate it. I shouldn't have said anything. Fuck. Michael, anything else? I just want to jiggle my keys. Okay. Jordan, get us out of here.

Rate, subscribe, and tell a friend or a special friend who you eat your Cheez-Its with about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Goodbye. I came with no friends, but then I came with new friends. Alright, alright.. And the end. ["The Daily Show Theme Song"]