100% Eat - Chuck E Cheese Grown Up Menu

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review the Chuck E Cheese grown up menu so you know if it’s worth eating. They also talk about the car accident, Graysie’s dad, Australia, different animal masks for Nick, and more. Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejamfree code facejamfree) and Fitbod (http://fitbod.me/FACEJAM). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Offer ends June 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024. Visit rbc.com slash student100. Do you want, I have Excedrin. Do you want some? You want something out of this bottle? I don't want your Excedrin.

I have Excedrin. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. Jordan has a headache, but he doesn't want Excedrin for it. I would. I would probably want it. I'm your host, Michael Jones. Alongside Michael is Jordan Sweers. He's the guy with the headache. Jordan, how are you? How's your head?

Guys, I'm fine. Okay. Everything's fine. The way he said it, I don't know that he meant it. I'm having a great time. It's just that when... Oh, that is Excedrin. Okay. Doy! Doy!

I don't know. You're such a trickster Sometimes you pull stuff out of that bottle That doesn't look Doesn't quite look like Excedrin You're such a trickster You ever been pranked? I drank all my tea Going to dry

That's tough That's not going to be good I'm working That's a chalk pill in your mouth? I'm working. It's oh That's a I can't do it in your mouth. No, no one should do that. It's not good They're too big to be doing it's not even more like the coated pills one more powdery. Yeah. Yeah, it's just chalk or whatever You ever see that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when he takes the pill without water and he just goes It's like the gross version of a fun dipstick. No, it's not at all in any way. No, it isn't.

They're both white and that's about it. Try to swallow the pill. Hey, if you're listening to this episode, thank you so much for sticking around so far. Hey, we're doing Chuck E. Cheese grown-up menu. Yeah. Because one, we're grown-ups. And two, got a lot to say about all this stuff. So earlier in the day,

Gracie said it was like the worst day of her life. And it was a joke. And then a little bit later, it was definitely the worst day of her life. Which part was it? All of it? Oh my God. It just kept getting worse.

So here's what happened. Here's what happened with the Chuck E. Cheese grown up menu I went to place the order online At like 9 this morning You were already having a fit out of the gate today It started early So we can put the order in because they open at 11 And I'm hoping that we can get it by 11.15

And we can do all this and just keep it going Nope So go to put in the order. You click on the grown-up menu and it's just. Because that's what it is. That's what it's called. And it's just meatballs. Well, that.

Oh, yeah. It's not just meatballs. It's just meatballs on the grown-up menu on the online ordering system. Saucy meatballs. They are saucy. Which to expand upon, there's more items on the menu than just meatballs. There are, but there are three different kinds of meatballs. Well, they're all the same

but they're in three different. How fun. I eat meatballs all the time as a grown up. Yeah, grown up meatball time. I like three different flavors. I didn't know meatballs came in flavors. They don't. Yeah, dude. They kind of do. I mean, usually it's, you know, the meat flavor.

They come with spaghetti. That's one flavor. And Ikea. And Ikea. That's the only time I eat meatballs. My wife fucking loves the Ikea meatballs. Everyone does. We have driven to the Ikea.

That's so far. You just make them. It's not the same. It is the same. Little point counterpoint that we had the argument of while in the Ikea after she ate the meatballs. It's like I'm in the marketplace. I can't section hearing this argument. And she went, that was so great.

Thank you. And I went, absolutely. Yeah. Hell yeah. And we're leaving. And I'm like, oh, they have them at the front. There's a freezer section with all the meatballs. And she went, that was so great. Thank you. And I went, absolutely. Yeah, hell yeah. And we're leaving. And I'm like, oh, they have them at the front. There's a freezer section with all the meatballs. And she went, it's not the same.

It's not. It is. Yeah, you're right. It's not the same. You don't have to drive 35 minutes to go get them. It's not like a McDonald's sandwich. Right? We're like, oh, the frozen one's not the same.

It's the same. So on the grown-up menu at Chuck E. Cheese, there are meatballs. And that is the only thing that I was capable of ordering at 9 a.m. from the grownup menu. I don't know why, because 9 a.m. is meatball time. You let us hear about it too.

I'm freaking out about it. Well, yeah, because then we couldn't get the food. And I know Michael's trying to get out of here and we got, there's a, we're right. We're pre-recording this on me, on the holiday.

I'm trying to be considerate. You're doing a terrible job. You're doing the worst fucking job you have ever done at anything. If you're trying to get me out of here early, you have failed

so hard today. Like, you cannot possibly believe. Like, it's insane. We met at 11. It's currently 1.20. We are four minutes into the episode.

You going, look, I'm trying my best is insane. As we'll come to find out, not all of it's Eric's fault. So, went to order this. I think the reason that it's closed off from ordering is that you are supposed to eat those pizzas dine-in only. Oh. When you go to order, it doesn't unlock until the restaurant's open. I don't know why that is. It just is what it is.

Well, they got to get grown-up butts in the seats so that they can play arcade games. So at 11 a.m., there it is. Great. Nick has justam there it is. Great. Yay. Nick has just simply written fucked up. I don't even know which part. All of it. The parts that I've said already and the parts I'm about to talk about. So, place the order

hop in the car in the face jam van Gracie is driving It's starting to resemble the face jam van Gracie Gracie's mad because she doesn't want to resemble the Face Jam fan. Gracie. Gracie's mad because she doesn't want to be going to Chuck E. Cheese again. Apparently, Gracie kept saying all morning, we're not fucking going to Chuck E. Cheese.

She really didn't want to go. To the point where Michael was like, are we not going to Chuck E. Cheese? I had him so convinced it really wasn't happening. I just assumed, because she doesn't, Gracie pretty much agrees with everything. And it's like, yeah, I'll do that. She's usually excited about something she shouldn't be excited about. You know what I mean? So it's out of nowhere like, fuck that place. What are you talking about?

As we're pulling up to the Chuck E. Cheese, she's like, can't believe I'm back here. Twice in one year. So we drive on up. It says, your order's going to be ready at 11.23am. And I went, not a fucking chance, your order's going to be ready at 11.23 a.m. And I went, not a fucking chance, but let's go do it. That's fine.

So we head on north. It's about a 12, 15-minute drive. Just about. We get to the Chuck E. Cheese that Gracie had been to once before in our spit-and-silly Chuck E. Cheese taste test. Which had pretty good pizza. It was fine. Yeah, it was pretty good. It was better than fine. It was pretty good. It was better than fine.

It was pretty good. It was pretty good and much better in comparison to the other pizza. Oh, no, I was talking about... So, we're not talking about the food yet. So, we walk in and everyone's very impressed

with the way that it looks inside except Nick, who's pointing out and critiquing all of the little things. Because it's different than it used to be when he was the rat.

Yeah. You said, yeah, already. You can't take that back. So walk in and I go hey I got an online order for Eric and she goes okay and walks to the back and comes back up probably two minutes later. She asked the question nobody wants to hear in this situation. We don't have an online order. Are you sure you ordered it

here? She said what time did you place it? And I was like, that's a problem. So, she goes, you sure it's the right location? And Eric takes his phone out, and I'm going, he's about to slam her. Oh, boy. She's going to get it. There's no way it's the wrong

location, lady. You're in for it. Eric would never. I would never. And in my life, I think, have never. Well, not anymore. Nope. Looked at it, and as I'm about to go, yeah, it's this. I looked never and in my life I think have never well not anymore nope looked at it and as I'm about to go yeah it's this

I looked and it says south I-35 he was like mid motion he already had it up and out as if to say to the woman no I ordered here

and was already there and had to go yup I ordered at the wrong one and then turned around and just turned around and I was like oh oh, my God. I did not expect those words to come out of your mouth.

So, Michael's like, just get the food here. Fuck the other order. Who cares? I wish we did. Me too. At this point now, yes. At this point now, yes. At this point now, yes.

That was right. Michael could have saved us all. At this point now, yes. I was right. Uh-huh. Michael could have saved us all. At this point now, yes. Gentle nudges. However, the reason that we did not do that is because the grand total of this meal, this adult meal, $185. No fucking way. That's ridiculous. That's so much.

For shit ass food. We're not talking about the food yet. But also, she's right. Oh my god. You can get like an environment spike. We can go back to PF Chase for that price. Oh man, we could eat like kings. So Michael

stops giving me shit because he realizes oh, this is not I literally said, oh, this is not... I literally said, oh, I bet it's the price. And so he just can't. He physically can't disregard the other one.

Never done anything like this before. Ever. Ever. Don't know how it ordered to that one. It was the first time for everything.

So we hop in the car and head on down to... 30 minutes south. Yeah, basically half an hour. Yeah, we go down a slide. It's all the way down where the old Rooster Pops used to be. 26 minutes, exactly.

But even more south than that. Uh-huh. So we hop out. We walk up. I got it all in order for Eric. It was fun to compare how it was different. Nick was pointing at stuff. It was bigger and nicer, I thought.

Oh. Uh-oh. Maybe it was just by comparison Maybe the wall was bigger Okay Jesus Christ So they have an online order for Eric And the guy leaves and then comes back With a co-worker Because it's so much food

And everyone just goes whoa Four pizzas Three of those start from to go things. And three little boxes for meatballs. Yep. So it's all that stuff. And then we jump back in the car and then we drive all the way to the office with no more

problems and now we're here. That's not what happened at all. What do you mean? We had a couple problems. After we were just squaring off downtown. After we'd gone We'd gone above downtown To the left side of downtown Below downtown

And now we're on the right side of downtown Going north When did we almost get into that car accident? Which time? Which one? The time Gracie shoved her hand in my face That was the second time it happened That was when we were making the U-turn to get to the Chuck E. Cheese

Can you believe it? Someone in the right lane almost merged right into us. Right, but again, that's the second time that it happened because the first time it happened was on 183, I think, and Gracie went, mm. To the first Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, that was going to the first Chuck E. Cheese. And put her hand out. Right. And then the second

one happened and almost got hit. That was a funny little thing Gracie did last time she was driving where somebody was kind of merging over and she was like, no. She puts her hand out and I'm just like, that does nothing. That doesn't work. I got startled on both sides. Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. But then you got shocked on one side

because as we were driving on 135, or 135, on I-35 North, Gracie got hit by a car jumping a lane in the right lane. Merging right into us. And then Michael got out of the car jumping a lane in the right lane merging right into us. And then Michael got out of the car with Gracie, went into dad mode, got out of the car

with Gracie. Well, at first Gracie was just like, I don't know what to do. I was like, guys, I can't do this. Hey, here's the thing. If you're like, wow, what happened? Watch Ride Along because the cameras and the audio are rolling.

Yeah. And there are parts that we can leave in and parts that we cannot. So, there's parts we took out, I'm sure,

and very weird stuff. But the guy But the guy apparently told Michael, like, yeah, I don't know what happened.

And Michael went, well, you merged into our car. Yeah, it was, I wasn't even really talking to him. I just could not say it. He just happened to come out and go like, oh, geez. Like, well, you just merged into us.

Yeah. I don't know how this happened. And Michael's like, I do. That's what happened, buddy. Then I hopped out, and we just sort of talked. And it was like, it's an accident. These things happen. We got info.

We got everything figured out. It wasn't a violent crash or anything. No, no, no. It's really not bad. It's just. Honestly, remarkable statistic for as long as we've been doing this show that this is the first time it's happened. And Michael said, ah, I think the camera cursed us.

Yeah, it's gotten so much worse once you started using the camera. It's so much worse. It does seem like it has gotten worse. Or maybe it's just, it coincided with people just forgetting how to drive. We all talked about this as we kind of like got back here or whatever. If it was any one of us driving and it happened, it would have been like, oh, fuck, man. Oh, that's crazy. Whatever.

I would have just left. It was just, yeah, right? For sure. I'll call an Uber. I'll meet you guys there. Oh, no. No, I'm saying I would have just been like, whatever. Yeah, I don't care.

I don't care about this. I would just have taken the damage and been like, I don't, even have just been like, whatever. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care about this. I would just have taken the damage and been like, I don't, even if like, I don't want to go through insurance. Like, because my car is a piece of shit and I have kids. Yeah, exactly. Whatever. This is going to get damaged again. It's just a whole, it's just me going, and I would have left.

I think all of us would have just gone like, fucking Jesus Christ, fine, whatever. We, it was just four adult men going, fuck, crazy. And she was like, what do I do? And I'm like, well, don't do what I would do because I would just say, oh, fucking hell, whatever. We wanted to play it as safe as possible to get as much information and stuff,

just in case the insurance doesn't work out. I just kept thinking about, she's going to have to explain this to her dad. And I need him to know that who she was with is a group of people that she can trust to get her through these situations. And get Chuck E. Cheese. And get Chuck E. Cheese. We kept saying, he's just going to be mad. Dad, no.

It's fine. Who are you with? These four guys I work with. We just went to the second Chuck E. Cheese of the day. We're going to eat all this pizza. It was for work. It was $180. So we got all the info.

We got pictures. We have the contact of this guy. And we got this car stuff figured out or whatever. But the whole time it was just like, the face jam van, no kept wondering what like what relation did he think we all had to each other i was gonna wonder that i got out of the car first and he's like okay young girl like he probably thinks he's off the hook and michael comes out four different grown men cycling in and out of the car trying to help how it happened was so funny because i was watching i was like

i was like i wonder if he thinks thinks like Michael and Gracie are like together or something. Or and then I was like, I was like, does he see us? Does he see the other men? Cloud car. Literally. Yeah. Just another.

So anyway, long story short. I should have said, son, come out here. Long story short, Michael needs to get Eric. Yeah. So then Eric comes out and he's got story short, Michael needs to get Eric. Yeah. So then Eric comes out and he's got to be the hammer. I just got to be straight. Sometimes people want to tell you a lot of information. This is my advice.

If you're listening to this, this is my advice to you. Sometimes things occur, accidents happen, this stuff, whatever. People want to give you their life fucking story people want to tell you what they were doing and why they were doing and all that and what you need is just the information yeah right you don't if a cop came along and he's like what happened here he doesn't need it oh man i was driving so we went to chucky okay so we went to a second chucky no that matters. What happened? I was in this lane.

He was in this lane. We collided. We exchanged information. That's what this is. Just the facts. If these things happen to you, just be really direct and go, hey, not trying to be a dick. Gotta get this info. Yeah.

And then it's like, okay, now let's all calm down and we're good. That's all this was. Or just only get in a wreck if you're in the car. Exactly. So it's just that. If you're going to crash, make sure Eric's in the car. Make sure there are four other people. And all together, they can sort of amalgamate one person who can get the information that you need. What if Nick would have had the monkey mask on?

He comes out. He would have stopped. He gets out to come help, and the guy's like, what the fuck? And he would have got back in his car and drove off. I think, I mean, honestly, he would have seen us coming. So, I don't know. So that was our Chuck E. Cheese adventure. And now we're doing a podcast.

Now we made it back. And Michael, we're going to try to get you out of here as soon as possible. It's fine, dude. It's fine. What a fucking day! Yeah, Eric,

when, after he first fucked up the pizza order, he issued like a cone of silence. Right. He was like, feel free to hammer me in the episode. Wait until it's content. Shut the fuck up now. I can't hear it right now. I know. I was trying to give him looks of encouragement.

Michael took his foot off the gas and you never see it. It was nice. We thought that was going to be the whole thing though. Things just kept piling on. Just kept getting worse. Oh, my God. So it was the worst day of my life.

Yeah, so two Chuck E. Cheese's one day. Yeah, so when we were driving to Chuck E. Cheese's. Chuck E. Cheese's pizza, at least. So initially, we were driving to Chuck E. Cheese's. And she's going, this is the worst day of my life. Like, this is the worst day of your life? And then later, like, yeah. He was like, no, it can't be.

And she went, I'll make it. Watch me pretend to have this guy merge into me. She was sending psychic signals over to him. Yeah, I said, come into my lane. I told Michael Azor to save my life. It has to be true. That's why he was like, I don't know what happened.

Something just called me to your lane. Dad, if you're listening to this, give me a call. Don't call Eric. Figure it out. Gracie's dad, if you're listening to this, give me a call. Don't call, Eric. Figure it out. What are you doing? Now you want people to call you? No, I just want her dad to know that everything's fine.

Yeah. We're good. Stuff's cool. We're good. I feel like you just want to hang out with Gracie's dad now. Is your dad cool? That's awesome. He's the coolest.

Does your dad drink light beer? Does he drink Cures? He drinks all beer. Cures? I think he's a big Corona guy. Nice. With a line. Yeah.

You get to an age. Yeah, you get to an age and you go, I don't need to get tough with this beer. Check out how many of these I can drink. Or he drinks something, Fireman Ale or something. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Fireman number four. So me and Grace's dad are going to hang out now.

Sounds good. We'll get him on the pod. That's cool. That's why he engineered this car accident. That's right. To get closer to your dad. All an elaborate scheme to hang out with. Sounds good. We'll get him on the pod. That's why he engineered this car accident. That's right. To get closer to your dad. All an elaborate scheme to hang out with my dad. That was my thought.

It's just it. Yeah, he kept saying, thanks. Thanks, Tony. That's why I shook his hand so many times. Jordan, do you have a haiku or a song? Dude. I'm not setting a precedent with the song. What the hell?

Jordan's song was so well received by the audience it was awesome it was such a great song way to go I really put myself out there I was impressed just a regular haiku here return all grown up playing rat dress up once more

too big for ball pit too big for ball pit no ball pit at the Chuck E. Cheese Just a lot of like Cut the rope and fruit ninja games Yeah It's like just a shit arcade

It's like if Dave and Buster's was lower Like I mean not like I mean it is worse But I just mean like lower to like the ground Everything's just like Everything's like shorter Sure For the short kids

Yes for the small children That annihilated Michael's dick while we were leaving. Oh, yeah. Not my dick. No. It was like one of those. Very clearly nutsack. I know.

He's just exaggerating. There was one of those swinging gate doors. I was like, kid-ite. It was like two feet tall or something. And of course the kid's going to play with it. Right as we were leaving, one just came swanging towards us. I looked back and saw the kid. He was in the position of letting it go like a slingshot.

Yeah, it wrapped all the way around for no reason. The door went too far for no reason, so just flanging it all the way. And I went to lean out of the way, and it just clipped me. And I went, oh, don't worry. It just hit me in the nutsack. Nick just says, now you know what it feels like to be the rat. What?

Did you have to stand in front of that dorg and hit it? Did kids hit you in the nuts when you were working there? Yeah, did you get fucking beanbagged every day? Beanbagged? They're at that height, you know? They just start punching. They're called a beanbag. They start swinging.

Man. Take that, rat. They start swinging. No one was dressed up like the rat the whole time we were there beanbag. They start swinging. Man. Take that, rat. They start swinging. No one was dressed up like the rat the whole time we were there, too. I saw someone related. I saw a video the other day. Somebody dressed as a Grinch. A kid punched him in the dick.

Oh. That's it. Awesome. Just made me think of that. Did he stay in character? The Grinch is here, and the kid just ran up to him. Boom. That's where all the hate comes from.

I get it. You're like, when his heart grows three sizes, guess what shrinks three sizes. Well, yeah, exactly. Uh-huh. All right, let's learn about Chuck E. Cheese. Grow up. This is a grown-up menu, and you guys are having children talk. Grow up.

Founded in 1977, Chuck E. Cheese Pizza Time Theater was created by Noah Bushnell, the inventor of Pong and one of the founders of Atari. Did you know that? No! What in the world? That's fucking crazy! The original parent company of Chuck E. Cheese is Atari. I'm not that surprised when I think about it because this does sound like somebody's third best idea.

Yes, absolutely. That's really a good way to put it. Okay, so I've invented, it's like ping pong, but digitally you play on your computer, like your TV. Wow, I'm going to start a whole company where we make games like that. Wow. So I'm thinking about a restaurant where the rat makes the pizza for you. And they're kind of just like, not your best work, but you haven't led a wrong guess. I mean, I guess your worst work could still be much

better than others' best. Yes. I mean, it's still around. It's still around. It's pretty, well, it's around. It's around. Michael, that's me, was tricked into buying this pizza during COVID, and now they've tricked me, Eric, the ultimate producer. Ultimate producer?

Hold on, you sure you want to go with that? That's what it says. He wrote that before we went to the wrong place. Let me take it back. Me, Eric, the ultimate producer,

into thinking you can buy their grown-up menu pizzas online. Did we eat this pizza from Rat Casino? That's a fact. We talked about it before, but during the pandemic this pizza from Rat Casino, that's a fact. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We talked about it before, but during the pandemic, there was Pasquale's.

Right. And Michael bought the Pasquale's pizza, and it's a very distinct box that it serves you in with the giant fucking rat face on the front. I hate it. Look at him.

I hate him. He's looking right at me. He's got one of those gimmicks where, like, no matter where you go, he's looking at you. He also, this is the worst iteration of Charles Entertainment. Oh, yeah. He looks like a fucking idiot.

Like, even in like the 90s when he wore like a skate helmet. He looks like a shithead. He looks like an idiot. Yeah. But then you go back further and he's smoking a cigar. Go back. Yeah, he kind of fucking, he has me Chuck E. Cheese. Welcome to Chuck E. Cheese Entertainment Pizza Parlor.

Like, that's what I want. It's anti-Italian discrimination. Tommy Cullets is gonna lead the Giants all the way. I knew it. I knew it. Chuck E. Cheese was Tommy DeVito's agent before the other guy.

Well, he got too young. Now he's cool and he skateboards or whatever. Boring. Now he talks like this. Yeah. Probably. Probably. Go ahead, Michael. In 1979.

No, I was good. I was perfectly winding down. In 1979, head engineers. Because there's some that aren't head engineers. There's regular engineers. These are the ones at the top. I'm surprised there are engineers anyway. Head engineers at Chuck E. Cheese

split from the company and created Showbiz Pizza Company. They were immediately sued. Then Chuck E. Cheese went public in 1981, lost $15 million, filed for bankruptcy in 1984, and was bought by Showbiz Pizza Company in 1985. Who's laughing now, rat?

What the fuck? That is awesome. Isn't that crazy crazy so this really was bushnell's third best idea yep so uh the head engineers were the guys who were like the animatronic creation guys or whatever yeah and they're like oh you know we don't really want to do what you're doing we're gonna do like our own thing and then their own thing was chucky cheese with different animals sure if you've ever looked up showbiz pizza, whatever, it's like a bear that plays a banjo. Oh, hell yeah.

Some other stuff. Yeah. That Rock-A-Fire explosion stuff. Yeah. It's those things. Is there a Kazooie? There's a Kazooie and a banjo. Holy shit. So they said, oh, we're going to split.

And then they sued them. And then within five years, they just went, oh. Oh, look who has the opportunity to just become Chuck E. Cheese. Look at this. What do they think of the company now? Because there's no animatronics there. They merged them all together through the 80s where showbiz and Chuck E. Cheese became one thing. And then they picked up Peter Piper pizza along the way.

And then it all just became sort of this bland thing that it is now. It's not really. Not really anything. Yeah, I'm tripping over there. No. You got a lot of burps coming out. They're little ones, but you just keep... That's it.

Okay. That was the last one. That was a super tiny one. It's little. Well, you're saying if there's anything left. So that's Showbiz Pizza. Fucking crazy. Take that, Atari.

Oof. Much like Burger King, Chuck E. Cheese expanded internationally to Australia, but changed its name from Chuck because it means puke. I mean, that means that here. Charles Cheese's Pizza Playhouse operated two locations in Australia until the mid-'80s, and to this day, we can't figure out why puke rat pizza never took off in Queensland. Very good.

That was the reasoning specifically given like, oh yeah, in Australia, Chuck means to throw up. You say up Chuck here. And it's like, yeah, but it's, it's still not like, I wouldn't say the most common way to say it.

I bet in Australia, in Australia, I bet it's not the most common way to say, oh, see, I don't know. See, I bet it's not the most common way to say puke. Hey, if you're Australian and listening to this, do you say chunder more than uh like what is the most common way to say like puke uh based on what i know about australians i feel like puke rat pizza

would do way better pizza feels like it would be a thing where if he had a mohawk and it was called yeah they would be he would be the most successful guy in aust. He would drive a U and he would go to the store all the time. I think we figured out what to do in Australia. We need to open a puke rat pizza. You should hire the engineers wherever they're at now. I think the plan is me and Jordan are going to start it and then he's going to split off and then I'm going to go bankrupt and he's going to buy me and then sell the whole thing. So I'm destitute.

You ever see the social network? It'll be like that. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. That's awesome. Okay. This is the last fact.

Let's do it. After COVID. You all remember that? Mm-hmm. Remember COVID? Mm-hmm. So long ago. Still not happening.

Okay. It's over. Remember COVID? So long ago. Still not happening. Okay. It's over. CEC Entertainment, parent company of Chuck E. Cheese,

is estimated to be $1 to $2 billion in debt and filed for bankruptcy in 2020. So we at Face Jam may step up to buy this company and rebrand it Monk E. Sauce, where you can see Nick perform with an animatronic band nightly, get sauced, go ape. Monk E. Sauce. That's pretty good. And then think about like we go into

australia call it puke wrap uh get sauced go ape feels like pretty good slogan go ape for the kids but you know you gotta have beer chucky she sells beer now oh really yeah yeah so you can oh that's why there's so many fights that happen that now. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was like... That was popping up all over the place. It was right after the pandemic and things were opening up again and parents were taking their kids to Chuck E. Cheese, getting sauced, and then getting in fights. Where's her peer? Clamoring for Chuck E. Cheese.

This guy. Yeah. In the back of the car after the incident. Which incident? All of them? While you guys were helping Gracie, I was in the car with him. And he was like, look at me. I'm shaking.

What? Why were you shaking? Was he hungry? I'm kind of freaked out about this. I go, oh, yeah, it's okay. He goes, we should get beer when we get back. He needed to calm his nerves. We need to get drunk.

Good Lord. Good Lord, man. Oh my god, dude. We're just trying to prepare you for your kid, man. Gracie's the one who got in an accident and Nick's back there like, I don't know, man. I might not make it. He starts doing puke rat pizza in the back seat. I'm pretty shook up.

Can you ask Gracie's dad to call me? Oh, man. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil.

Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. The world is yours to create. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Can I go back real quick to the Burger King comment in Australia? I was

always under the impression that somebody started their own Burger King ripoff. Called it Hungry Jack so that they could use the iconography. No, so there is already a Burger King ripoff. Yes. Called it Hungry Jack so that they could use the iconography. No. So there is already a Burger King in Australia.

Okay. Burger King wanted to expand Australia, tried to open Burger King and got sued. Okay. And when that happened, they went,

well, fuck, we have to name it something else. So they went Hungry Jack's. So Hungry Jack's is the name of Burger King down there. That's a very good Australian twist. I think that now

Hungry Jack's is split from Burger King, and I think it's its own thing. I think. That might be wrong. That's where the engineers work. Aren't Hardee's and Carl's Jr. technically two different companies? They were. Carl's Jr. bought Hardee's.

Yeah. And so now that's why Carl's Jr. is a West Coast thing, and Hardee's is an East Coast thing. And I want to say like St. Louis is like the market. Where's the nearest? We've done Carl's Jr., right? Oh, yeah. The nearest Carl's Jr. is Cedar Park. Ugh, die. Oh, that's right.

Die. God. I mean, if we get in the car, we might. Because we ended up... I do remember doing an episode up there. That was for the Jurassic Park one or something. So we ate up there and then came back and recorded, and then there was another one where we ate in the parking lot and recorded in the parking lot there.

I think that's where we came up with the monkey. The, yeah. Oh, that's right. I seem to, it was a parking lot. Some things are visions to me, much like where your small wife got her arm exploded. Yes. Where I was just like, I feel like it's over there. I remember just kind of sitting in a car staring out a window

in a parking lot going, we should make Nick a mascot. Like I just remember the place-ish. And it really worked. It worked great. It worked great. I finally got to tell his wife that I always had wanted to buy so many of them. And so the joke

was just going to be, he has just keep changing them. Just so he'd have to keep them all somewhere at his house. And he would just was just going to be he's going to be a different animal. Just so you don't have to keep them all somewhere at his house. And he would just keep coming home with these fucking animal hats. And he would say, I have to keep them for work. I'm glad the monkey worked out, but I still, in another timeline that happened. In another timeline, he's not just a monkey. He's a horse.

He's a cobra, but he could put his flaps in. Just happened to be the first one I bought. Can he, Eric? Can he put his flaps in Can he Eric Can he put his flaps in You got it seriously How did you walk into that wall again You already knew you were wrong That surprised me that he was still arguing

I know I thought it was settled It was settled That's why when you're going There's no arguing it's real Here's one video of one Cobra doing it one time. Okay. Say what? You need more evidence.

Do your own research. That Cobra could just be fucked up. I should just start. I'm just going to start saying, hey, Jordan, I'm right. Hey, do your own research and look at it. Or you tell them it's not my job to educate. That's right. Yeah, that's another go-to.

Or when Price was like, why don't you just tell me what sources you have? Just look them up. Yeah, just look them up. Call my office. Leave a message. We'll get back to you. Yeah, all these other states are doing it. What states?

Well, I don't have the information in front of me. Right. I do, right here. Okay. ChuckieT's grown-up menu. I read this part. Yeah, I know. What?

I'm trying to move it along. Michael's really trying to get out of here. We're trying to get him out of here. He's almost done. He's almost done. We're halfway through. No, we're not. This is probably going to be half the episode because there's a hundred things.

We're going to plow through. But they're short. There's not a lot. Signature meatball, marinara, shredded mozzarella cheese, topped with all beef meatballs and fresh spinach. I think that's that one. Can you look? Is that a real quick spinach? Where is the spinach in there? That is just meatballs on pizza. There's no spinach. There's no spinach? Nuh-uh. Fuck you. Not even a little bit.

Bullshit. I'm not even sure there's marinara. Yeah, I don't think there is. Homestyle barbecue chicken pizza, barbecue sauce, shredded mozzarella, and cheddar cheeses, Homestyle barbecue chicken pizza, barbecue sauce, shredded mozzarella, and cheddar cheeses topped with chicken, red onions, and green peppers. Now, there's two barbecue ones, and I don't know which one's which. Okay. I mean, one has chicken and the other one doesn't. One says piggy.

Oh. Didn't like that. Hey, that could have been a pig. There could be a second one. Spicy Hawaiian. Oh, a sauce pig. Rooting around for some sauces. We might be on to, a sauce pig. Rooting around for some sauces. I might be honest up there with sauce pig.

Show me how the piggies eat. Jeez. Spicy Hawaiian, sweet chili sauce, shredded mozzarella and cheddar cheeses topped with ham, pineapple and jalapenos. Did you feel like there was any sweet chili sauce on the spicy Hawaiian? No. I don't know. I don't even know. Do we have? Can I tell you after the ordeal?

I'm not going to look. So it's like he ordered this. 1123. Went to the wrong place. After 1130. Who knows what time it even was when we got it. Had to drive all the way to the other place Got it, accident

Sitting around Just sitting there Just fucking around We come back here, we slop it down It's just me walking in a square Because it's a square table Just picking up a piece of It was on all corners

What the fuck? What the fuck are we doing here, dude? It's me walking in a square, picking up. Picking up just like, I'm going to take a piece of this. Square of the food. Bite that, go over here. What's this shit? This is barbecue shit.

Oh, that's barbecue crap. Once we started calming down from the accident and stuff, we were like, oh man, I'm really hungry. But like coming back to it. What's Nick was calming down. And it's this. It's so disappointing. Yeah. It's just like it all looks like shit.

Now even reading it, half the shit wasn't on it. It doesn't surprise me at all. Let's see what wasn't on the spicy barbecue piggy. Yep. Spicy Korean barbecue sauce, shredded mozzarella and cheddar cheeses topped with ham, bacon, sausage, jalapenos, and red onions.

I think that one was horrible. It was only sausage. I didn't see any bacon. Yeah. Oh, man. Was there ham? I definitely didn't see ham. That one was-

Maybe there was some bacon. That one was the saltiest pizza. It was- That was the one I had first, and I was like, oh my God. It was so- That was so salty. It was crazy. I kept looking for like- I knew I was going to eat had first, and I was like, oh my God. It was so salty. That was so salty. It was crazy. I kept looking for like, I knew I was going to eat them all, right?

We're going to review them all. But I was like, as Jordan said, after our traumatic ordeal, I was like, I just want to start with a normal one. Oh, none of them are normal. Right. None of them. They're all stupid assholes. The meatball one is the closest to being normal. I was so annoyed by that.

It's the grown-up menu. I was so annoyed by that. It's the grown-up menu. I was so annoyed by that. I was like, surely there's gonna be like, oh, pepperoni or something. It's all stupid shit. Everybody's like, oh, that's not pizza sauce.

It's barbecue sauce. Right. Two of them had the barbecue sauce. This one's fucking dressing or some shit. I'm like, motherfucker. Gracie's right.

This is the worst day of my life. This is definitely the worst day Gracie's had. Alright, now we're entering the meatball section. Saucy meatballs. Saucy meatballs. Choose from three flavor explosions. Sweet chili, spicy

Korean barbecue, or buffalo barbecue. Each served with an additional side of sauce. No, they're not. No, they're not. And the option isn't there to get more. Because I was like, okay, cool. I'll get it. He slammed it.

This sauce pig back here is going free. Dude, put him back in his pen. He lifted the thing up, and I thought it was going to say something, but he had written nothing He just slammed the table He's just throwing around the whiteboard Yeah, he needs a sloppy pig pen

I wanted to get extra sides of these sauces Just in case Maybe you ordered those at another restaurant Maybe you got those at a third Chuck E Cheese We gotta go up to Round Rock Yeah, the third one These are the rat sauces The holy trinity of chucky cheese's

restaurant god um there's more interesting that yet again there was something we didn't get though uh i don't know why this is the longest one wings try three new wing sauces and two new rubs that are anything but basic the kitchen has masterfully curated three sauces and two new rubs, buffalo barbecue and a blend of two faves, spicy Korean barbecue, a sweet savory heat like you've never tasted before, Louisiana hot, this is all one sentence, a sweet Cajun

combo of flavors, a lemon pepper rub, the perfect mix of salty and tangy and chili lime rub that delivers that tangy heat ensuring that every bite is an explosion of flavor. That was one sentence. And it's not what we got. We got pepper, lemon pepper, and buffalo.

And I ordered the lemon pepper and the chili lime rub. Because we got... That wasn't a rub. No. We got the wets on the meatballs, and then that's what that is. So it's like, oh, here's the dry for the wings because they also don't have the dry on them. But they still fucked us up.

And they still fucked it up. So they gave us the lemon pepper, but then also, I guess, the buffalo barbecue because it was really sweet buffalo. I guess that was it. Michael, we're not done. Michael. Anywhere else, this is a bust. I mean, like, just all of it.

I'll tell you one thing. Everything sucks and we're just plowing through. Everything that happened around it certainly isn't helping, but also they're not helping themselves. We've become a Chuck E. Cheese podcast in the way that

we have recently even shut off. Let him finish his thought and then we'll hammer him or agree with him. Some thoughts you just don't want to give platforms to, Jordan, and I try to nip those in the bud. On Spittin' Silly, we ate the frozen Chuck E. Cheese pizza and the

regular pepperoni pizza. We cooked it, though. Yes, they were cooked, which we should have done if we had critically thought about what Nick thought he heard in Chicago one time. Right. Here's the critical error we made. That pizza, that day, whatever, it was good. It was good. Like the real Chuck E. Cheese pizza. And I think it helped greatly that we had that toaster oven that was warming them up.

My toaster oven. It was your toaster oven. For my house. Yep. I think it also helped that I hadn't sat in the back of my car for an hour. You should have brought your toaster oven because these things desperately needed it. We do. Oh, well.

That gets worse for Gracie. Jordan's going to go hit the other side of your car. With the toaster oven. I see this is from the ice. What's this huge dent in your driver's door? Call Eric. Don't worry. I know

a guy. It'll buff right out. I have a picture of my insurance that I downloaded from a scanned faxed document. Let me close my eyes and think about the thing and see if it appears on my phone.

Just give it a sec. Nothing's loading. Just give it a sec. Maybe it'll appear. Hold on. How long does it take to apply for insurance? What if he's a listener? What if he listens to something?

He doesn't seem to operate. We don't run in the same circle. On the grid. Nope. So to say. In the system. Absolutely not. This is what I expect. if he was a listener,

I expected you would throw yourselves at our feet. and absolutely be like, oh my god, I'm a jammer, what have I done? And then we'll hammer you

a bunch. Because then we could've used it as content. Yeah, that's true. Now, if somebody had gotten into, I guess I'll have to pose it

like this way to you. I just don't know who, like what the equivalent is. If I'm a jammer and I run into us in a car accident or whatever I'm literally run into us. Yes. I'm not saying

I love your podcast. Yeah, no. Yeah. I would never absolutely better say to me. I'm hiding my identity. A hundred percent. I'm probably never listening

to the podcast. No, no, no. I would run and hide and never Here's what I'll tell you. It's the only way to save yourself You gotta go into the Den of the lion sometimes That's where I would go

If ever I'm responsible for an accident I'm just gonna be like Shoot my shot and be like I'm such a big fan though I'm sorry this happened Oh you watch my streams I'm a this happened. And they're like, oh, you watch my streams. Right. That's right. I'm a huge fan of you.

You're a YouTube man. Big fan. Can I get a picture? Worst case scenario, they just go, what are you talking about? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else.

I thought you were Adam else. I thought you were Adam Driver. Worst case scenario they body snatch you actually. That's actually the worst. Because it's worse than death because your loved ones

are tricked and you're thinking you're still alive and some creature is manipulating every human body. That is the worst.

When Goku and Ginyu switch bodies and he's a frog or something, it's like you're powerless to do anything about it. What can you do? All you can do is watch and it's like, you can tell that's not who I am. Why are you buying this? That's a frog.

So that's the only reason I got out of the car with Gracie. Yeah, to make sure there was the AI. And then once I saw that was clear, I got out of the car. Thank you very much. Yeah, the guy started talking to Michael like, oh, what can we do? And he's like, I'm just here to make sure she doesn't get bodyslammed. I was like, I'm level. I'm ready and equipped

to deal with a certain level. And I saw go right past that level. And I know it's like, oh, I'll get the manager. It was just unannounced. All I saw was him walking away and I was like, alright. Oh no, Gracie, because it wasn't even worth

a discussion. The moment came, I was fending it off and fending it off and the moment came, like, I have to get out of here. Like, I came over to you and I talked to you and you're like, yeah, and I lingered like, you're gonna have to get out of the car. Yeah, you sit there a little bit longer and I went, I'm not, I didn't come over here to

shoot the shit. I came over here to get you. Maybe I wasn't clear. You're gonna have to get out of the shit. I came over here to get you. Maybe I wasn't clear. You're going to have to get out of the car. I regret doing this. When he came over to talk to me, I knew it was, hey, we need you. But I was hoping that it was just to inform me. I didn't want to. No, never.

I didn't want to. Nope. Totally understandable. And that's when Eric's cobra-like hood opened up. He went, I have this? I can do this? No one told me. I didn't think this was possible.

Press material. Okay. Quote, As pioneers in the FEC, brackets, Family Entertainment Center, industry, Chuck E. Cheese continues to evolve.

Shut up. Ensuring that every visit is not just a trip down memory lane, but an exploration of new tastes and experiences for our youngest guests and the millions of parents and adults who don't have children who visit us each year. I actually have a child. David McKillop's president and CEO of CEC Entertainment said in a statement. It's still fucking going. So many C sounds.

CEC is the parent company of Chuck E. Cheese. Why is that the end of that sentence? So I just want to backtrack. You said it about five minutes ago. Chuck E. Cheese is evolving like the dinosaurs.

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? You go in there, it's like, you know, even, okay, when Chuck E. Cheese was at the height, it sucked. Stupid. But it, commercially successful. Right?

How have you evolved from that? You don't have your dumb, like, the Amatron was your dumbest shit, but that was your thing. Now it's like, well, this is a shitty arcade. Now it's a shitty, low-ceiling arcade. Now you're saying this is an evolution? This menu? This food? Go to hell, you rat. Can a meteor

hit you immediately, please? Now consider this. Then if the meteor doesn't finish you off, we'll sit you under this vent that I sit under every episode. And you'll freeze the Ice Age, baby.

I was so annoyed I came in here. This is after everything. We sit down. I'm walking to my square getting the pizzas. And I'm like, Nick, you were out of the room

at the point. I went, Nick, turn the fucking AC off. It was like 40 degrees where I was standing it was like Michael Michael really was at the end of his right now it's like he snapped now I will say this he's doing his best to get me out of here

I'm trying I'm trying we're almost there we're so close you talked about at its height it was commercially successful and whatever but even it opened it went public it lost all of its money it went bankrupt it got bought it never really recovered and now it's between one and two billion dollars in debt some people say that's a struggling

business other people say that's evolution baby that's fucking crazy if it is evolution a big part of that is survival of the fittest i feel like this one ain't passing along any traits to the next generation but it's weird because it keeps consuming other things that are assisting it like yeah oh hey it started from atari chucky cheese consumed atari oh okay oh showbiz pizza split off and oh showbiz pizza is buying chucky cheese chucky cheese eats showbiz pizza oh wow we got peter piper pizza chucky cheese peter piper pizza it does none of this works i don't know why chucky cheese keeps going at this point he is not a beloved rat he's a little monster man he's a he's a parasite leeching off of us whoa you take off the the the mascot head? It's Nick. What? The parasite of Face Jam.

What the fuck? I mean, you are kind of parasitic. Just from a trait-wise. Don't defend him. I mean, he just... Gracie's not going to help? Well, Gracie's also like, well, he is I am.

No, no, he's not. If he goes down, we go down together. Also, I'll say this too. Somebody owes Grazy Gas money because I did it last time. Yeah. Okay. She was talking about that. I almost forgot.

Almost forgot about the accident. Y'all don't have to do it. No, they do. No, they do. No, yes, they do. I did. Yes, they do. Yes, they do.

One of you. You got in a car accident. Here's 20 bucks. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Eric should be. He made her drive to the wrong goddamn Chuck E. Cheese. All right. Now, exactly. Thank you. Eric should be. He made her drive to the wrong goddamn Chuck E. Cheese. All right, now this is.

Hold on. And throw in cash. And give me my gas. Oh, this is awesome. Gracie's up to $60. You have to spend it on gas. Gracie's made $80. That's immediately where I'm going after this.

Well, yeah, you have to because I don't think your car will make it anywhere else As I went to turn off Whenever we pulled in here I went to turn off my car As my fingers literally about to turn off the car Boom gas light You also said you were like we're hitting empty We got 45 miles Oh Jesus Christ

And then we were getting back here And Gracie went oh oh, that's crazy. So are we like still getting McDonald's? I know! It's true! It's true! Because we were talking about doing another episode.

No, that's in, that should be in that video, right? It has to be. It is. That part has to be. We had around it. Jesus Christ. Honestly, Nick,

when you edit, hard cut, ah, hard cut, and just have it, just have it, so Gracie goes, so are we, ah, hard cut, and just have it. Are we getting McDonald's? And have that be the video. That's all. It's crazy, but the best part is

it was her asking if we were getting McDonald's, us talking about it, then realizing the video was still going. Oh, it's still recording? So that was an even more genuine... Yeah, it wasn't for the camera. Are we getting McDonald's? I was also anticipating how shit this food was going to be.

So I was like, oh, I'm going to be hungry. How do I get my next meal later? Anyway, Nick is the most parasitic. Let's rate the food. It's bad. What? But even the signature meatball, homestyle, BBQ, chicken, spicy Hawaiian, spicy BBQ, pizza. All four pizzas bad.

Honestly, if 11 o'clock came around and you still couldn't get the pizzas, we would have been fine without them. Like, you went through too much trouble. Oh, I agree. 100%. I just had such a realistic expectation of the Chuck E. Cheese we just ate. Right. And this was fucking terrible. Yes.

They were all terrible toppings. It was all mush and shit and weird sauce. The meatball one is the saddest one. And not good pizza. It looks so dry. Like, the base pizza we had last time was good. It was in good territory. Like, good for, it was like bowling alley pizza.

This is Chuck E. Cheese? I agree. And in my head, that's what I was going to get today. Yeah. And it's shit. It sucks ass. All of it sucked. Yeah.

Two of the meatballs were good. I don't know which ones. I didn't like the chicken. I didn't think either one was good. The lemon really sucks. Yeah. I like the lemon one the best. No way.

I think it was the best food out of everything. I think I ate most of it. It was one of the meatballs for me. And then that third one was fucking terrible. The sauciest meatball is the worst one. It was shit. There's one that's kind of red. That one was good. I would have to say one of those two meatballs was probably the best thing.

Also, I just don't like barbecue pizza. I don't like barbecue anything. Replacing marinara sauce with barbecue sauce Is so gross I don't like it And when you get it from a place like Chuck E. Cheese It's not gonna be good It sucks when a good pizza place does it

So it's not gonna be better at Chuck E. Cheese I'm just not a fan of slop top pizzas And that's what these are They're slop top pizzas on some shit pizza There's nothing grown up about this It really is like the equivalent of the kid Getting every fucking soda pizzas on some shit pizza. There's nothing grown up about this. Yeah, it really is like the equivalent of the kid getting every fucking soda, which my kid does in one

cup. You just did that on a pizza. If I can quote Logan Roy. Go ahead. This is just not serious pizza. It's not serious pizza. Grow up and if you were a grown up pizza, you'd be out there smashing in the cars. Or getting smashed into. Yeah, either way. What do you rate it?

The grown-up menu from Chuck E. Cheese. Nine. Bad. Remember when we were on a run of good restaurants? Yeah. Gracie was trying. She was trying to find something to replace this. And instead, she made 80 bucks. It's not bad

Nick wants to make $80 somehow $100 more you can buy everything that we just made I'll be saving up for another Chuck E. Cheese Here's a business proposition Would it have been cheaper to pay another $180 or pay for Gracie's

car that If you're asking me right now, which I'd rather do, I would have just bought it. Would you do what I said? Yes. But here's the beauty of it, Jordan. Here's the beauty of it.

If we did what I said, we wouldn't know how right I was. Yes. I'd rather be right and it didn't happen. In the situation. But I'm... Yeah. It's like when people are like,

remember when the ozone layer was a thing? Well, it didn't get worse because we fixed it yeah and the terrible tragedy or catastrophe didn't happen so sometimes avoiding something terrible happening looks like nothing happened right and it's like why did we even bother my courageous comment would have been nothing and now it's everything and it's it's a fantasy we dream if michael had said it said let's just get it here a fantasy we dream for. If Michael had said, let's just get it here and we did,

he's not then going, I saved us all. I know. And the problem is though, I probably would have known because I live in alternate dimensions and there's no way for me to tell them what a hero I am.

That's what the other pills are. It would have been him going, you're welcome. I saved us a trip. Yeah. But we don't know how eventful that trip would be. It would have just been, it would have been a lot of, I was right. you're welcome. I saved us a trip. Yeah. But we don't know how eventful that trip would be. It would have just been, it would have been a lot of, I was right. You're welcome.

Honestly, we got to start looking at it. We got to spend less time on the road. Uh-huh. I think from now on, less time on the road. There's less opportunity for bad things to happen. What you got to do is always listen to me. Just don't do what I say. Problem solved.

Listen, but don't do. And then, yeah. And then later I go, I was right. I was right. So Jordan gave this a nine. Oh, it's a nine. Oh, okay. It sucks. What's the average? It's a piece of shit. Wow. This is terrible. This is actually so disappointing. Actually shit. Like, really,

really, not even the car accident, I'll let it deserve it. It couldn't even save it. It sucks. After the snack, I also have something. Whoa, really? Do you want to save? We. After the snack, I also have something. Whoa, really? We can save the snack. What do you have? It's not really a snack as much as it is a thing to try. Isn't that what a snack is?

What do you have? Oh, no. Alright, we're doing that instead. This is for Gracie. What is that? It's hot once hot's on. We'll save this snack. Wait, should we pull the wings back out?

Shit wings? Go for it. Get them out of the trash can. Where's the dry roast? Yeah, get the dry... Oh. Well, we don't want the wet ones. Oh, God.

These ones are so bad. All right. Guys, they're all bad. So, I bought for my wife's birthday a bunch of hot sauces from Hot Ones because she was curious about whether or not she could handle it. And this is the hottest one they have. On the scale of 1 to 10, this is an 11. This is the hottest one.

She tried it and said it wasn't that bad. So I'm really curious what Gracie thinks about this. So that's not like the dab, right? That's like an actual hot sauce? I don't know. This is a hot sauce. I know there's the one dab thing, which is another thing. I don't think this is that.

There's always new levels of shit coming out. This is Apollo's last dab, isn't it? This is the last dab experience. There you go. Yeah, so I think that's it. It says, welcome to the X-perience Spice Lords. I call them Spice Rats. And Extra Life.

Yeah, me too. Oh, did you already try this? Yeah, it's hot. It's so hot. I was eating that on the hottest Wait, am I the only one trying it? Yes, I'll try it. I'll die. There's four nuggets. Yep.

Tumble 22. I had that on the hottest chicken at Tumble 22 and my face was melting off oh boy so just so excited Gracie is so excited if I

if I could just get like a toothpick or something I see that picture and then I think I was watching the video when we got into the car accident my face I'm so mad

yeah it's the exact opposite of Gracie's face right there is it worse or better for me to use this or the crust of a pizza what are you saying you can do either just Just do the chicken.

I think it got thrown away. What are you looking for? Don't lick it. Just eat it. Oh. Oh, yeah. Wait, am I pouring this on here? Were they or not?

Whatever you want to bite, Gracie. Yeah, whatever you want to do. Put it on what you're going to eat. Here's what you should do. Just take a little pinky of it. No, it really should be like a boop. It's... Really?

But then it's Gracie. What am I talking about? She's not going to care. She's not going to care. Dude, it's so far away from me and I can smell it. Ew, the flavor of the other one is mixing. Right. It's a flavored chicken. Too sweet.

Well, you're eating the very sweet little wing. Yeah, that's hot. Dummy. Oh. That's hot? Is that the first time she's said that before? Whoa. Guys, it's happening.

I like it. That's good. You're turning a little red. Yeah, it's a little hot. Okay. Your voice is getting higher. It's a little thirsty. She didn't even dip it again. She only did the one.

You know what? I don't think I'm going to try it. I think I'm good. That's doing it. I really don't want to. She's human. I don't want this to be my worst day ever. Okay, so hang on.

Okay, so Gracie, rate it. One to 100. On spice scale or flavor? Sure. Spice. Hotness. Okay, so Gracie, rate it. One to a hundred. On spice scale or flavor? Sure. Spice. Hotness. No, hotness. Hotness? That's like a nine. Really? Out of a hundred? Pretty low. Pretty low. Out of a hundred, that's like

a ninety. I was gonna wait and see what she said, because if it wasn't ninety, I was gonna be really confused. I thought about changing it out of a hundred. It's actually like a seventy. Flavor? I thought I could smell it. I know. It has so much. Yeah, there's so much.

Put the fucking cap on it. No. Well, there's a little dip here, and I don't know what to do with it. Put your eye on it. What do you mean? You put the cap. He keeps yelling lick it. Are you gonna try it?

It's gonna make it all crusty. Did you try it? Lick it. Stop yelling lick it. There you go. You got the baby spit. But for Jordan, that's a lot. Here we go.

Yep. Holy fucking shit. Immediately. I placed it on... And my lips are choked. I placed it on my tongue. And that part of my tongue is just on fire. If you want to know what me and Michael think,

you can watch Extra Life because I ate a bunch of it and had to chug milk. I had a lot of them. Just by itself? We did hot and thick. It's not even flavored. No. It's just burning.

It's just hot. I don't... Yeah. I feel like my favorite is... Oh, definitely. Previously mentioned, no drink. You look like... Yeah.

You look like it's hot. Me? Yeah. It is hot. Dude, you saw how little I had. Yeah, yeah. You had the babiest bit. Yeah.

It's very hot. It's killing me. I had to eat so much. It's brutal. It's brutal. Well, my had the babiest bit. It's very hot. It's killing me. I had to eat so much. It's brutal. It's brutal. My wife can have the rest. What did she have? She'll enjoy it.

It wasn't that bad. She also had just a little bit, and she was like, yeah, she says it's hot, but it's fine. The problem with it is that it doesn't taste good, and it's not fun. I love a hot sauce that adds something.

It's just fire. There's no flavor. It's a chemical hot, but it's not like, have you had Da Bomb? No. That's brutal in a totally different way. Da Bomb is just like if somebody took the idea of hot and then you were able to taste it. I looked away. I don't know which one of you that was.

That's what this is really like. It's just like, this is hot paste. Yep. Well, if you want to send us snacks, you can. You can send the Face Jam care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. We should talk about this. Face Jamuary.

Face Jamuary is coming. The holidays don't end after the New Year's, guys. They come back around. That's right. But why wait until Valentine's Day? Boo. That's forever from now. Boo.

My tongue is still burning. Thanksgiving into Christmas. Wow, so much fun. Christmas and New Year's. Oh, that's so cool. And then New Year's into Valentine's. Boo. Get to the point. We're holding you over. It's Face January. Every Friday in January. Not every day? every day every friday in jam

in january shut up don't look at that we're going to every friday in january we're going to release a video from behind the first paywall just to give you a taste so you get fucking addicted to it and then you and then you need it so bad you to facejampod.com and sign up at facejampod.com slash first. So we're going to have- You said the quiet part out loud. We're going to have ride along, ride along, feeding pasta Pete

leftover fazoles. And then- That's one of our best episodes. And then I don't remember what the fourth one is. It is. We want to give you a taste of what we've been putting out for first. So face jam, every Friday.

And even, like, more so today. Just the amount we're putting our lives on the line here. Yep. I also think we're probably going to do James Giving. Oh, I mean, we are. James Giving! The holidays! I said we should have done it already, and I don't know why it hasn't happened yet.

The holidays! Because you made us watch Ambulance. Yeah. Well, somebody had to be right about something. It wasn't you today. No, not today, but previously, yes. I'm just saying, let's bring it back. So stay tuned in Face Jamuary.

Let your friends know. Go check out our YouTube channel and go to facejampod.com slash first to sign up. You can also grab a Monkey Mouse shirt, certified jammer shirt, all of our stuff over at store.wristerteeth.com or shouldermonkey.shop which takes you to the same place still. But we have none left. Right.

But it doesn't take you directly to the shoulder monkey. That's smart. Yeah. If you're looking for the shoulder monkey you don't find it. You forget.

Yep. You buy a sweet Monkey Mouse shirt. Yep. Head on over to shouldermonkey.shop. How do we capitalize on this car accident?

What do we sell? Gotta figure that out. Yeah. I mean we capitalize on this car accident? What do we sell? Gotta figure that out. Yeah, I mean, we should, right? We sell the old remnants of my car once they get sold. Can we keep it? It's not that damaged. No. Follow at FaceCamPod to stay up to date with everything. Twitter and Instagram. I was more thinking maybe we sell

like car dice or something. Spitting silly. Air freshener. That's it. Wow. Rate, subscribe, and tell a friend about the show where we eat the food, crash the food, and rate the food. One hour exactly. Good job, us.

That must have been the longest time ever from when the food was ready to we ate it. It had to be. It was like 90 minutes or more. You're probably right. Yeah. It was a long time. Well, I don't think it would have been good even if we ate it. Do you think that affected the score?

Fuck no. It was bad regardless. Yep. Bye!