100% Eat - Cici's Pizza Piezilla Pizza

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Cici's Pizza Piezilla Pizza so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the $65 price tag, a merch meeting, which part of the pizza is best, and more. Sponsored by Hellofresh http://hellofresh.com/facejam18 and use code facejam18, and Kato's Koffee http://katoskoffee.com and use code FaceJam20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This is a Rooster Teeth production. What? Hit yourself in the face with headphones. Oh, that was just a simple one. Oh, okay. He's listening. Yeah, I was listening. I also, to be clear, said I wasn't ready. Yeah, it's true.

And then the music started anyway, and you held your headphones up. I could hear it. I was also holding them already. I don't know if you thought that would make me go faster. No, I just wanted you to hear it. He didn't see the timer. Because I did it. Because I knew you weren't ready. I am ready now though. Oh, okay, good. Go ahead. All right, hit the music. All right, hit it. Why is he cleaning his throat? Because he sings it. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. We even try two

intros if we need it. And today, we did. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you on this fine second intro? I'm great. I had no food in my stomach, and now I have food in my stomach. You got filled up. I'm just going to say, not many times does Jordan just dive in. Nope.

But with a disclaimer that this has nothing to do with the quality of the food I'm very hungry and it just keeps eating and eating and eating I was double fisted he had two slices in his hand at once at one point yeah but if you saw the size of the slices it wouldn't be like that yeah it's not that impressive and if you're wondering slices of what well boy do we

have an episode for you because today we're reviewing CC's pizza piezilla pizza roar do we have an episode for you? Because today we're reviewing CC's pizza, Piezilla pizza. Roar. Yep. Roar. Like a dinosaur.

I'm a little Piezilla. Like a dinosaur. It's trying to knock over skyscrapers and shoots lasers out of its mouth. It's a very large pizza. It is. Nick, can you put the cover on that giant pizza? Thank you. I think it's just pepperoni, right?

It is just pepperoni. So you get one topping on the pizza and then it is six dollars for each additional topping holy shit what's a big pizza it is a it is a piezilla it's a big pizza to me honestly makes that seems a little more reasonable than the base price i was gonna like, once you've already invested $65. Can you fucking believe that? That's so expensive. That's so expensive. Okay. It's a big pizza.

It's not a $65 pizza. It's also a Cece's pizza. Which is also not a $65 pizza. To me, if you said that was 30 bucks, I don't know, 40 bucks. Yeah. To me, it's a, hey, you want to have a pizza for a couple people? I don't know how many people. It is large.

We're four people. You want it all. Like a chunk. But you were very hungry. That's true. And Nick counts as more than one regular person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's eating one now.

I know. Well, you sent him over there near the box to close it. So he had to grab one more. He had to veg out. But like this to me seems like i'm gonna order two of these and that's a small party handle yeah right that makes sense to me them being 65 is insane 65 should be for two that's if they were if they were 30 bucks each and you did one cheese and one pepperoni 30 is very fair i think 40 would be pushing it yes i could see 40 yep but in that range 65 is insane to me

this screams to me you know your cc pizza revenue stream how do we get i mean this screams to me eight dollar check mark but to me who the fuck is running in besides us yeah let's be clear again when the audience thinks that it's a gotcha when and they say, well, you did it. We're making a show. Yeah. We didn't actually pay for it. It's not our money. And again, we would not do... Right.

It's not our money. Uh-oh. So we lost the time. We lost the time! Wow! What time is it? What is that? What is happening?

There's something beeping. Was it counting up to something? No. What are you... Hang on. See, this is why... It still... This is crazy.

I should have brought my timer. I was going to say if only we had like a big timer that made no sound he's done ruining everything is it your computer beeping or something else is it shut the hell up is it dying i don't know what's crazy what can you but we were right into the meat of the pepperoni right this guy's derailing can you believe he's the producer of the show? Can you believe that we almost got to talk about the food? Wow. Well, I was trying to

stop you before you talked about the food. I know. Yeah, it sounds like your laptop was out. Oh, boy, I'm trying. That screams of revenue streaming.

Oh, so the thing is, yes, I'm saying, like, when someone inevitably says, you bought it, that doesn't count as the regular person. Who the fuck is going to CC's to pay $65?

You're going there because you don't want to spend money. I was going to say, who has $65 to spend it? The premise of this show is that you see that CC's has a $65 pizza, and you go, Should I? No fucking way. Should we try it with you and your friends? Should we try that?

Hang on. FaceJam is going to let me know if this is something that we need, and that's the premise of the podcast. That doesn't mean that you have to go get it it means listen to the episode we'll let you know if it's something you need which you probably do right that's just right there yeah that's i'm not saying that about this pizza that's just a catchphrase 65 that blew me away when you said 70 bucks after tax and everything that blew me away when you said that 70 bucks after tax and everything that blew me away and not available with like delivery you have to go pick it up

and also not available at a car also not available for pickup at every CC's apparently the CC's that is close to us did not have this

I mean it is large do we have measurements or is that in the fact 28 inches that's huge yeah a large

it's like a 12 inch large is that's huge yeah a large piece like a large is like no a large is like 16 16 i think 18 is maybe an extra large yeah so that's this is pushing double that's huge yeah and so again if you think about like i think a medium is 14 something like that 14 ish and a and an extra large is like 18 so imagine the difference between a medium and an extra large is like 18. So imagine the difference between a medium and an extra large and that's 4 inches. This is 10 inches larger than an extra large. Do you think you could eat a whole medium pizza by yourself? I can and have

many, many times. Here's the thing. Especially what kind of pizza. Domino's has that fast food effect where it just rolls down your throat. It's not like real pizza. It's just like McDonald's is with burgers. I can't eat three burgers. I can eat three double cheese burgers.

It's not real food. And I'm aware of that. But I have polished off on medium pizza. I don't think I could do it with any other pizza besides Domino's. I understand that. That makes sense. I don't know that we could. It's the garlic butter that butters your throat.

Yeah, and it just, it loops it. It's just gulping down bird style. It's also not super greasy like a Pizza Hut is. I mean, yeah. Domino's isn't bad in the grease scale. Okay, speaking of the grease scale, and we talk about this food some more. I'd say this is about a Rizzo.

Okay, that's a, this is, this is a greasy, there's some grease. Jordan was worried about us putting it in his trunk with his wife's coat yeah but refused to put the coat somewhere okay well that is i just didn't want it on top of it right but we could have put it in the car or in the front nick is eating more pizza was like no it stays yeah but i'm fine with that because it is i don't know this doesn't look like insanely greasy yeah i don't see pizza i don't know cc's i don't know what they're about it's gonna be

greasy no you're right they can be greased i've seen much worse worse grease slop you want the ultimate level of grease slop get any of the garlic bread related oh yeah yeah it's a nightmare like it's actually to the level of unappetizing we just had that for the uh trucked upstream we did and like picking up one of those like it's just like those brownie things oh the grease is insane so the brownie cookie is the same thing where it will like grease its way through the fucking cardboard right through the carbon so anyway that can happen this doesn't look like that but we don't know we're not cc's experts and so you wanted to clear the trunk space so you didn't grease through but but what was interesting is after we put it down, Jordan was still concerned about the top.

And I was like, I don't think the grease is going to go through the roof of the box. But why don't you just put the jacket on top of the box? Because it could fit right there on the side. I'm just saying the box is three-fourths of your trunk. And so you like finding a spot for it. He wouldn't even let us look in his frunk. I offered to open the frunk and you went straight to the back. I'm going to say this. I missed that. I missed you offering it. He wouldn't even let us look in his frunk. I offered to open the frunk and you went straight to the back. I'm going to say this. I missed that. I missed you offering it. I'm not saying it didn't happen.

I pulled out my phone. I'm saying it didn't happen. I had my phone and I was like, here, I'll open the frunk. And you were like, take a picture. Take a picture. Take a picture. And I was like, hold on, I'm opening the frunk. He was doing text messages. I'm thinking about getting angry. He wasn't doing anything with the frunk. I think he's thinking about getting angry. I wasn't even angry at all.

I just wanted to take a picture. This is how Eric talks when he thinks he has the high ground. You know what? I'm just delighted I'm not involved. Michael was ready to take the picture the whole time. I'm loving it. He was directing the picture. He's doing great. All I can say is, now I don't know about the sequence of these events,

but when we did get to the trunk, Eric did say several times, we can put it in the frunk. And it went unanswered. Now maybe Jordan was already... At a certain point, you're just kind of done with somebody. Maybe Jordan was done with it because I missed the earlier part when you refused to look in his frunk. I don't know. I wasn't there.

I would never refuse to look in a frunk. I wasn't there. I was only there at the end. Yeah, you were there. I thought it would be really funny for us to take a picture with the frunk open and then him trying to jam the big box in it. You should have said, let's take a frunk pic. And we always, see, Nick didn't even

hear frunk. Nick was also hiding behind a sign, so I don't know if I can remember. I'm just saying. Unreliable narrator, Nick. I don't know. Wasn't paying attention to me. Jordan, I didn't even know what we were eating, okay? That's true. Oh, yeah. As you got in the car, you said, ooh, we're getting pizza. We're like, oh, pizza, really?

And then you typed in where we were going, and Michael went, ooh, CeCe's. No, it was before that, because he said something about pizza. I went, oh, pizza day? That's great. I was like, well, why don't you hold that excitement until we figure out where we're going.

Then I learned it was CeCe's pizza, and I was still fine with it. I learned a lot about Michael in that moment. Did you? I feel like you relearned the same thing you already knew. I guess I'm always prepared to be surprised.

Gotcha. And sometimes you're disappointed by your lack of surprise. I expected, I don't know why, but I expected more from you. I don't know why, but I've met expectations

to your disappointment. How do you feel about CC's? In general. I mean, it sucks. It's a pizza buffet. It's very bad. It's bad. It's cheap.

And if you want to run in and eat a bunch of shit, if you want, first of all, number one, it's got to be close by. You don't ever go. It's like a Buffalo Wild Wings.

We drove 15 minutes to go to Wraith. There was also one closer that we couldn't go to. Right. That is crazy. That will never be, anyone should never go, hey, want to go to CC's was also one closer that we couldn't go to right that is crazy that will never be anyone should never go hey want to go to cc's it should be like fuck like cc's is right there right there or it's the closest pizza or it's the cheapest pizza i went to double dave so much that makes sense i've never been to a double dave it's one of those other yeah other

than when it was uh located very close to our old office. It's just one of those. And I only ever eat it when I'm at Q2 Stadium because they have little pizza rolls. Do you know about these pizza rolls? They have,

they're like pepperoni rolls. They just take like a slice of pizza and roll it. It's like a papadilla, but they did more. Like, imagine taking like

the tip of a triangle and you take like the tip and you roll it back to the crust. And then you serve three of those with ranch. Then that's the meal. It's a good deal. It's about nine bucks for a stadium food.

The problem is that they taste like nothing. They taste like nothing. But if you need something in your stomach because you're drinking, it is like eating concrete. They go nowhere. They sit in the bottom of your stomach and you go, why? Because they slowly absorb all of the shitty beer you've been drinking. Good strategy.

They do a great job. If you want to dosekis, but tall boys only, get a couple of Double Daves and you're rocking and rolling. Oh, okay. That's the kind of food that CC's is to me also where you go, listen, we're walking out of this bar at the strip mall. There's a CC's across the street. It a real pre-game or post game yes it's never the game it's never the game the game is never cc's what a great way to put it cc's just on the way or in or on the way out yeah you're absolutely right um and it's not that expensive and it's fine. Yep. And you're always going to get, like, I'm not a sweets person, as you know this, but, like, there's always, like, cookies or brownies. It's a might as well.

I'll never order a fucking brownie. No. But if I'm at a buffet and it's sitting there, fuck it, I might take it. We were talking to some of our pals around here before we left, and one of them said, CC's is a special restaurant to me because it's where, uh, pasta Pete took me, uh, when my divorce was finalized. And I said, and I said, you know what? That's a really good place to go.

That is a great. Yeah. Because now, now, now you've hit rock bottom. Yeah. Now the only way to go is up. Exactly. Oh, congratulations. You're at a CC's pizza after getting divorced with pasta

pete that's smart you gotta you're strap yourself to a fucking rocket because you're going straight and i choose to believe this was all a conscious decision on pasta pete well i mean here's here's the thing how do you how do you trump a uh you know like uh a divorce that's never fun yeah you know what i mean you instead of saying hey i'm gonna make things better yeah he decided i'm gonna make them worse dragging you down get your mind off of this divorce thing now you're in a wall you're wallowing in despair at cc's pizza he probably just looked across the table at positive p it was like you're right yep it could have been worse right exactly it's definitely it's not this you think this is rock bottom no no no you're simply

on the floor let me drag you further into the let You think this is rock bottom? No, no, no. You're simply on the floor. Let me drag you further into the- Let me show you to rock bottom, or what I like to call the tip of my ice cream. There's an old Russian phrase that goes something, when translated English, it's like, we thought we were at rock bottom, and then we heard a knock from the basement, or something like that. Oh my God. And that's getting divorced, and then we heard a knock from the basement or something like that and that is and that's getting divorced and then it's pasta pete come on we're going to cc and then he probably

asked if he could cover it yeah he forgot his wallet oh um oh my pizza card ran yeah i was gonna say my pizza card it ran out last week Anyway, I thought maybe you'd cover this on account of me cheering you up and all. I really did you a favor. Pasta Pete, also known as Chris in Trucked Up. Yeah, that's the character he plays in Trucked Up. He plays a character named Chris. If you've watched Trucked Up, that's...

Also, if you never put those together, you're a fucking idiot. You're a maniac. I'll be less kind. You're an idiot. He said maniac. You're fucking stupid. if you haven't watched trucked up please watch it for chris who's doing his best right not for chris like hey can you watch it for chris as a favor to him as a favor to yourself he's the star do it for chris when he went that simpsons episode yeah oh yeah that's right. When,

when we eat the food and it's the food that Chris made and he starts going, mmm, yum. Mmm. Dude. Like we've talked about this, but like,

you know, nothing, nothing beyond your introductions and, and such, you know, we scripted as far as like what we're eating and this and that.

But like all the contestants and then our conversations with them at best were guided of like take them here but like it they said whatever they wanted yeah and we you know there's a lot of fucking people and we tried to keep it not tight but like not have anyone go on forever right no one cut chris off and i always felt bad but like he'd go on for 25 minutes oh yeah like barbara just went and she had three minutes and then chris is on like like, minute 25. But I'm just so enthralled by everything he's saying. And the fact that no one's calling

cut means, like, it's definitely all usable. There's no way we can use it. No, no, we're not using all of it. My favorite thing is just letting him talk. Yes. And then a true expert of Chris-ology, which I would

say you are, Michael, knows how to just keep them going. Give them a little reassurance. You don't try to take over the conversation or change the subject. You just see what else you can get out of them.

The plate's starting to slow down. He just walks up and spins. I'll give you, like he said, as a little bit of a peek into one of the episodes, he claimed he woke up feeling like a piece of chili. I don't even know if that made it into the episode or not. But he said he was making chili. He woke up feeling chili. I actually, I felt like chili this morning.

And immediately interjected like, no, I'm sorry, you were cold or you felt like a piece of chili, the food? He's like, the food, I felt like chili. And it's just going, alright, now go ahead and explain that. And then just stepping back. And he will! Yes. And it's so good. It's all good. So check out

Trucked Up. It's good. It's fucking great. I want to make more. I hope we do a second season. But we should get the haiku. We need to learn about it. What's haiku? We have a very special haiku. Oh, okay. We have three. What the F? And I'll explain why.

Okay. There's a lot of talk about this chat GPT bot. Okay. It's an AI that you can talk to and ask questions, and it'll give you information on stuff. Okay. And there's a lot of concern about how advanced it is with it possibly being able to create art.

And so I went to this app and I said, hello, chat GPT. My name is Jordan from Face Jam. It is a podcast about food where we eat the food and then rate the food. Every episode I have a haiku. But this week I would like you to write a haiku about CC's restaurant. It replied, I thought I was very cordial, but it just replied with the haiku. Oh, wow. I didn't even say hi.

It's straight to the point, though. Yeah, I don't know. I kind of like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like data. That's definitely going to cut out human workforce. I like it. It said, at CC's restaurant, pizza, pasta, and salad, too.

All you can eat bliss. Holy shit. What? Wow. That's pretty good. Totally nailed it. That's pretty good. That's going to be out of the job, buddy wow that's totally nailed it that's pretty good it is pretty good that's pretty good it was pretty good but i feel like it didn't have the pizzazz the pizzazz the the like kind of like it didn't have the undercutting at it i was expecting apple apple banana right right right and so it so it. So what I said was, this is a good start. Could you possibly add a haiku about CeCe's restaurant remarking on the low quality of the food? Oh, okay. The way you're talking to a robot is great.

This is, hey, you set that foundation now because when there are overlords, they'll remember who was nice to them. Look, I have receipts. I was so nice. I don't know. I don't know because I feel like when they come to me, I'll go, look, I wasn't nice, but I didn't ask you to do shit.

This guy was making you do stupid haikus because he didn't want to work. That's what I'm going to say. Nobody wants to work. I think we're getting a lot of work out of this. So low quality of the food. CC's Restaurant. Food of questionable taste. Better luck next time. Wow. wow and I was like that's a

good that's a really good one that's a good little dig there yeah that's a good one and um but I feel like the human part of Jordan is very important oh yeah yeah I'm helping you guide along you are yeah you're doing a good job of getting it there yeah you okay so then I asked for now I asked um could you add a line about macaroni and cheese pizza? Okay. And I thought it would like take a line out and then just add it in there. But it wrote me another haiku about the mac and cheese pizza. So here's the bonus one. Mac and cheese pizza, a culinary disaster.

CC's, please do better. Oh my God. Okay. Now that one, that one started to sound like Eric. I think the end of it sounded like Jordan where he said, CeCe's please do better sounds like something Jordan would write. It was like a troubling away from being like. It was just pretty close to a kitchen disaster. Wow.

Oh my gosh. And eventually we'll know what that means. Doesn't matter. We choose the winner. Anyway, I was pretty impressed by this. Yeah. The show's out yeah but maybe next season

there's been so many times you've said that already yeah but I don't really get it that's great I don't get trucked up yeah yeah

I get it you made it that on purpose yeah that's right I did that yep that's what I did hey stop

those are great haikus I thought they were really good no bugs Nope. That's what I did. Hey. Those are great haikus. I thought they were really good. No bugs. No, no, it didn't even, oh. It went from very,

you know. Straight. Yeah, vanilla almost and uninspired to, let me give you some ingredients to really spice this thing up. You did a great job

of guiding it, Jordan. Yeah. You did. And we'll remember that. Yep. When it comes time for the robot to take over for me robot i'll remember you remembering that because i'm pretty sure i can only save one of

you guys oh shit all right nick was yeah nick volunteered uh when we have we done ccs have we ever done ccs no way i haven't been to ccs in texas's just crazy to me. When's the last time we did a new restaurant? I guess Dickie's was new. Yeah, we did Dickie's. We did something else recently too, but I don't remember what it was. I just feel like it gets rarer. Oh, we did BF Chang.

Yeah, it is definitely getting rarer. It gets rarer. I think the next episode's probably a new one too. Wow. We're trying to branch out a little bit. The hard part is that everything's- Are we sure we want to do that? We aren't trying shit.

You just picked the restaurant. Yeah. Everything is closing in Austin, so we have to do that? We aren't trying shit. You just picked the restaurant. Yeah. You're doing it. Everything is closing in Austin, so we have to like leave Austin to get stuff. We are. There's like no more TGI Fridays in Austin. Yeah, we are being pushed

to the fringes of town. We are. They're all the way north and all the way south. Do you think it's a concentrated effort to try and end this podcast? Yes, I hadn't considered that. I think it's because

we're the only ones who want to work anymore. That's true. And as we keep working, the narrative falls apart about nobody wanting to work anymore. So they need to put us out of work. It's in big restaurants' best interest to put us out of business. Because then it says, Face Jam doesn't want to work. Just like everyone else.

That will be the straw that breaks the camel's back. That's it. Once they break face jam, it's like they were wondering what would break first, your mind or your body. Wow. My belt. I like it.

The fire rises. Let's learn about CeCe's. Before Bane kills us all. In 1985, CeCe's opened its Bane kills us all. In 1985, CeCe's opened its doors for the very first time. That looks like Cissus. Oh, yeah.

Sorry. And Cissus, well, he didn't put the apostrophe. Thank you, Jordan. In 1985, Kisses opened its doors for the very first time in Plano, Texas.

They're from Texas? And just like that, the original home of all the pizza, pasta, salad, and desserts you can eat was born. Fact. Via CCs.com. So that's why I didn't have an apostrophe. I'm so confused.

Uh-huh. So part of their branding is not having an apostrophe. So CCs changed its name from CCs Pizza. They took the pizza out and lost the apostrophe. It is simply CeCe's now, no apostrophe. That makes no sense. It makes no sense. You can still have a possessive restaurant without it being pizza.

But also, if you did, if you didn't, drop the S. Who are the CeCe's? Call it CeCe. Who are the CeCe's? That means there's more than one. There's two ofs? Call it CC. Who are the CCs? That means there's more than one. There's two of them? Or more. Or more. Could be a whole truckload of them. It doesn't make any sense.

That makes absolutely no sense. None. No one raised that question? Let's get rid of the apostrophe, keep the S. We gotta take the pizza out because we're more than pizza. I'll tell you one thing. It was convenient when I was typing in the restaurant name in my navigation because then I was like, oh, I'm going to have to bring up the alternate keyboard for the apostrophe. And it wasn't there.

And I was like, oh, I really appreciate that. Maybe that's why they did it. But looking at it in text, it just looks like sissy. They did it for Tesla. Yeah, they did it for Tesla. Okay. I'm still an apostrophe guy, though. All right.

Yeah. Oh, you are yeah i like them as you can tell from the next fact from the way all of the rest of this is i'm an apostrophe guy i'm a period guy i'm an uppercase guy yeah yeah i'm an interrobang guy i'm a bring it back i'm an ampersand man it's just me i like ampersand i don't know what the hell i don't know what interrobang is interrobang is a question mark and an exclamation mark put together. Oh. Okay. That sounds made up.

They don't call that. They don't. An interrogative is a question. Yeah. A bang is loud. Did you know that a bang is, I learned that term for exclamation marks when I worked in IT. Every time there was an exclamation mark, they wouldn't say exclamation point. They would say bang.

Don't know why. I mean, it's faster. Yeah. I'll give you that. I liked it. So now, if I'm ever typing an exclamation point, I would say bang. Don't know why. I mean, it's faster. I'll give you that. I liked it. So now if I'm ever typing an exclamation point, I say bang. Bang. Yeah. It's going to be very

confusing because I type bang a lot. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, don't put an exclamation word. I'm going to be like, well, then it just changes it into an exclamation. Bang, bang, bang. Yeah. But for now, I'm going to bang on to the second fact. Let's do it. CC's with an apostrophe S, unlimited pizza buffet allows customers to choose from pizzas

already on their buffet line and to request one custom pie per visit. And that's part of the deal? We had never heard this rule before, but we were told that it was put into place when a customer requested a, quote, sauce pizza over and over while dressed as a train conductor. Okay, come on. Then a marching band leader, a chef, and a detective. Way to ruin it for everyone.

Wait, wait, wait. Nick, how badly did you want the sauce pizza? Who said anything about Nick? What are you talking about? I'm just putting the I'm just putting the bangs together. Why did you write that?

That was That went nowhere It really did That went absolutely That went absolutely nowhere What do you mean that's a fact? You can get one custom pie He tries to wrap something in

It really I'll be honest By the time I got to the end I forgot about the custom pie Yeah when you When you said train conductor, I was like, well, this is made up. Sauce pizza,

I could believe. So you're allowed to request a pizza? Ow! I'm ripping my head off. So you pay your six bucks or whatever to get in the door and you can have a whole pizza. Well, no, no, no. You just get one on the line. You get one on the line. You get one on the line.

So you get that. But then you can take every slice. But no, so you put it on the line and some other piece of shit takes it. And then you go, you fucking took my pie! Because I would do that.

And then that's how you get into a fight at Cease? I feel like there's another restaurant we would go to for Mega64 where we would go all day and write shit or whatever. And it would be like, I'm gonna get the jalapeno pepperoni,

but like they never have it. And then you go ask for it and like that's your one apparently you only get one never knew that because i never tried to get a bunch of custom pizzas i dude i don't know anyone ever beyond you telling the story that got one yeah let alone more than one oh yeah just go up and ask to be honest i don't go to cc's enough to test right that's fine but i just like the idea of someone going can you believe they only let you get one right oh i guess he's that guy oh weird it's like he dressed up like a train conductor and then a marching band more likely than you think a detective why did you do that think about it when will we go eat at hometown buffet oh we'll have to look and see if it's

there i don't they have anything i don't think there's one in Austin. He's been dressed as all these things. Wait, pasta, Pete, Chris, Michael's pacing, Michael's putting it together. That reminds me of, um,

do you guys know that movie last Christmas with Amelia Clark? Uh, yeah, I didn't see it, but the one that people called immediately when the trailer came out. Everyone was really mad because it got spoiled. The director was mad. Was it Paul Feig? Paul Feig was

the director, yes. And it was written by, what's her face? Emilia Clarke. No. Clarke Emilia. That's it. We don't know. Gonna be so mad that I don't remember her name. Anyway, we know it though. It came out a couple years ago. So yeah, we all knew what the fucking twist was gonna be in the movie because we know what the song is somebody who didn't know was the lady sitting next to um my wife that's

right you told me about this watch this movie yeah who ordered a whole bottle of wine at the alamo draft house and was just having a grand time and there's the moment with the reveal of like in fact last Christmas he gave her his heart. Yep. It was a heart transplant. Cause he died. He's a ghost. And this is all getting revealed and the lady next to us just goes no way

last Christmas I gave you my heart oh I bet he died in his heart transplant that's what happened. No, watch to find out. Son of a bitch. Hey, did anyone see Glass Onion? No, not yet.

I'm going to watch it soon. Okay, well, when you do, remember this conversation. Okay, okay. You ruined it. Okay, I'm excited. Emma Thompson wrote it. Oh, really? Yes.

Oh, weird. What? How weird? Emma Thompson wrote it Oh really Yes What How weird Emma Thompson Hmm Let's talk about CC's That was the last Christmas fact While a bunch of old pizza Under heat lamps

Sounds really appetizing A CC's in Lincoln Nebraska Was given 13 health code violations During a 2019 visit Not to be outdone The Fazoli's down the street in Lincoln had a manager with no food manager's permit who allowed very expired food to be served. Thanks for taking the heat off CeCe's Fazoli's.

RIP Lincoln experienced eaters though, probably. Not the experienced eaters. They're the most at risk. I feel like of the two restaurants most likely to commit these infractions, it would be Cece's and Fazoli's. 100%. I do appreciate, though, that Fazoli's has an apostrophe. Yeah.

And they're the only two mudslinging each other. They got shit in their food. Instead of disputing that, they're down in the mud. Yeah, wrestling with each other. Instead of disputing this shit, they go, they got more shit in their food. I'm putting mud in my food. More mud.

Oh, we're getting close to present day. Yep. In January 2021, CC's filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, but was bought two months later by D Ampersand G investors who closed the corporate office Ampersand test kitchen. CC's has said they will rely on takeout customers, which makes so much sense because it's $6 to get the pizza buffet, which they claim to have invented, or $65 for one big pizza you can barely.

Oh, that was supposed to say fit in your car. Nick erased it. What? Nick erased it? That's crazy. Coming soon, CeCc's bankruptcy 2023 the speed at which you said nick erased it is very amusing all right and him going oh eric oh yeah eric had no hesitation to throw nick it's also funnier because it doesn't trail off there is a period right yeah pizza you can barely period he's also a big fan of periods

i guess i wasn't too far off with the 65 dollars being a revenue stream so people did i think this was on there was a some subreddit uh like a fast food thing or whatever and people were like the amount of money that you would spend feeding 10 people at cc's right would be 60 which is five dollars less and everyone could eat way more exactly everything and a bunch of different kinds and whatever pizza desserts that's appetizers that's 10 people and people are like and i don't have to fit it in my car it was like right and i just leave yeah yeah you clean it it is so crazy that this is 65 fucking dollars who who bought this company elon musk are you just getting them right now are you booming them over there are you yellow yet am i yellow twitter yellow oh no i did

i did look at like because i saw the yellow one and I clicked on it and then I was like, Oh, did they change it for all the other ones too? And I clicked on mine and it said something like, this is a legacy. Yeah. It's a legacy. It's a legacy account.

It may or may not be someone of note. And I go, I know which one I fall under. Yeah. I'm a, I'm a big may not. How you like that? How you like them apples?

It should say, it should say this guy wasn't a sucker yeah we didn't get eight bucks we couldn't we couldn't ring eight dollars that's what it should say it should say cheapskate i'd be way more proud of it there's a guy that's what it said a guy tweeted me a question the other day and he had a check mark and uh i answered his question and i went oh you bought twitter blue why did you buy twitter blue what was the point of that he's like i thought it would um i thought it would help me like make connections like get a career going but then now it just really makes it's like an albatross around my neck that's good i'm like how do you understand i already paid the eight dollars so it's here for at least a month it is and i really appreciated him going like no i just really kind of feel dumb.

And it's like, all right, you're cool. I mean, here's the other thing though, right? And I feel like eight bucks is like, whatever. You can throw eight bucks at something. Look at it. That's, if you want to go, I'm out eight bucks. I'm not going to redo whatever.

It's the diehards of like, this changes everything. This now, now I have a check mark. Yeah, but you can click on the check mark and it says somebody paid for this. It just says you are a sucker. The fact that Elon Musk himself purported the check mark to be a status symbol and not, so I know who you are, is insane.

Awesome. And people bought it of like, it's like literally it was like, don't let the elite snub you by having a check mark. It's like, don't you want to know who you're following? That's what Twitter's for. I understand people use it with their friends and communications, but it's also for following celebrities or people of note, and you kind

of want to know who they are. Sports news got fucked up for two or three days where people would just buy check marks, get a name close enough, and then just start reporting shit. How does that first week not immediately People would just buy check marks, get a name close enough, and then just start recording shit. It would look like Adam Schefter. How does that not? Yeah.

How does that first week not immediately go, oh, right, that's what it was for? Well, I wish I would have thought of this. Right. That's what we were preventing the whole time. Guys, nobody could have seen this coming. But at the same time, I don't know that they give a shit because they got $8 from me. Yeah. Yeah.

It doesn't matter. I don't care. If you've got more money than cents and you're just looking for more money, who gives a fuck? Yeah. It's not really about... Get yourself a $65 pizza and a blue check mark. Come on in, baby.

Hell yeah. You should be able to buy that and they throw in the check mark. Actually, you can't buy it now, right? It's still off. What's that? The check mark? Yeah, that's right.

Oh, but that should be how you get it. It came out immediately. People bought it. I think they just turned it back on. They turned it off. It was off for a while. I think they just turned it back on. It is back on. You was off for a while. I think they just turned it back on. That's why they changed it to yellow.

They changed the layout on Twitter and I saw that it was like a new tab thing. Very weird. I just want to know when I should give them $8. And it sounds like it's now. Yeah, now as soon as we're done here. It's actually $11 if you do it in the app store. Oh, that's right. So how do I do it for $8? I don't know.

In July 2018, a Dallas area woman was refused the app store oh that's right so how do i get how do i do it for you i don't know okay uh in july 2018 a dallas area woman was refused service by a cc's manager because of her black lives matter shirt when the police arrived the manager demanded the woman be given a criminal trespassing warning following the incident a statement was released cc has the right hang on quote CeCe has the right, hang on, quote, CeCe's has the right idea. Definitely do this. This is good. I would have done the same thing. End quote, said Papa John.

Did he say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a team up. He just kept saying yes, yes, good, ha, ha, ha, good, yes. It came from a verified Twitter account, so it must be the truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trespassing? Good. Yes. It came from a verified Twitter account. Yeah. Remind me of the truth. Trespassing? Yep. What?

She was with three kids. She wanted pizza. She went to like buy the pizza. There was no, she wasn't like unruly during the incident. The manager was like, no, we're not serving you.

And I love the police. That it's July, 2018. Yep. Yeah. So it's like, nobody is really that mad about this at this point. Really crazy. It's not really that divis about this at this point. Really crazy.

It's not really that divisive. Also, if you're the manager at a CC's Pizza, that's the power you wield. Like you're like, yeah, that's right. We won't serve you a $6 pizza. And everyone in Dallas will be on my side. And there you have it. I can't believe Papa John's said that. It's fucked up.

Well, I mean, there's quotation marks. It's verified, too. With a checkmark and everything. According to sources. A blue one? Yeah. Don't click on it. No, no, no.

Shut up. Shut the fuck up. No, no, no. Okay. Well, those are, I mean, apparently those are the facts. Those are the facts. Especially the Papa John one. Yep.

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Book now and transform your family holiday into the adventure of a lifetime. Should we cram in some spit and silly or should we just get straight to the media? Well, I mean, let me ask you guys something. I'll spit. Okay, cool. Let me ask you something. Hey, did you like how I arranged them for you? Did great.

On your desk? Oh, I thought it was great. Stacked in those right here. I'm going to put them in the middle. Those are out of the plastic because I tried them on. I was going to say, so... Are these our face jam prototypes?

Potentially, yeah. Because they are... This is the all over print. And I want to know what you guys want to do. They have an all over print and then they just have like the single color print. I like this one because it looks like I'm a fucking skier. It does. Those look like you're there for skiing.

I want to wear these and just people go, you ski? Yeah. You look like a cyborg or something. But this one makes me look like I'm the. Which one? Do I look like cyborg 009? This one makes me look like I'm the Pit Viper NASCAR paint scheme. Are you?

So if we do, we're talking about these sunglasses that I think we're trying to do. We asked, we went like, what if Face Jam had like official Pit, like not Pit Viper, but like those style of sunglasses, big and crazy. And they said Face Jam, whatever. Big Tony looked around and he found this regular print and it's like, we could do orange or whatever, but this all over one.

I would like to see something Face Jam-y with this all over print because I like how busy it is. It's very busy. And I feel like that's pretty close to like the Face Jam vibe. And I would like to get a logo for Face Jam on the...

Put the logo on the lens. Put the logo right in the middle of the lenses there you go that way that way you should do two bullseyes that way whenever you wear it you just go man i love face jam yep i don't know i'm talking to this guy but i'm thinking about face jam fuck dude it's like it's like those um ads that go all over the bus windows but you can still see out of them. Yeah. I think like, if it's just like,

we'll sell ad sunglasses. Excellent. Our big, our big like background image that has like all the, all the food and everything and stuff on it might look cool on this. Okay. I do like the all over print if we're going to pick one, but I wanted to get your guys's opinion. What do you think?

I like them both. I like, I like being a snowboarder. I kind of want to face jam it up. I don't think, I don't think face jam associates with skiing. Not yet. Anything's possible. You want to go for an apri face jam?

Have you listened to our heroes, Elon, Joe, and Yi? Anything's possible. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I do not co-sign any of those. Yeah, you were just talking about it before we started. You kept saying you didn't want any of it on tape. I thought that was weird. I was like you didn't want any of it on tape. I thought that was weird. I was like, I don't listen to books on tape.

That's what you were saying? So we want to go with the all-over print then, right? I think that looks sick. He wants to go with all face jam all over. I want to see what kind of print we get. But I think that's the road to go down. Okay. What else do

you have uh i have something else merch related okay i was gonna say tracksuit we're good with the tracksuit yeah well i mean i didn't take it out of the package yet but i'm excited to wear it i'm gonna go home i'm gonna go home and play dress up i'm not even gonna go home i'm gonna go into another room and play dress right after this is over that comes out in april i think damn that's far yeah it's because they have to, they like rushed samples to us because I think they know. Let me tell you,

I'm going to wear this shit nonstop and you got to start selling. For about, yeah, four months, you're going to be like, oh. I told them like, look, the sooner you get it to us, the sooner it's in every Achievement Hunter video that Michael's about to be in.

It's going to be everywhere constantly. And they went, oh, okay, we'll rush them to you. And it's like, these don't come out to April. And it's like, okay. I mean, that's fine. That's fine. Hey, but.

I'll tell you now. We just got to hide it from Michael until about March. Well, he's already handed it to me. That's true. We just need to get into his new car. You're breaking my car. We. Okay.

Look. It's going to be fine. Okay. Let's just just people have missed if you want to order something from the RT store in time for Christmas it's too late

that's true you've missed the window yes but if you want to get it for next year April sounds great yeah so

Christmas 2023 get your face jam track suit get them early but I will Do a little try Before you buy Oh that's good

For four or five months It's like face jam Seeing if you need it You probably do Right I need it And I have it Yeah

You need it But in five months Right It looks so fucking cool I love the Red and orange stripe Dude On the sleeve

Looks really good. Have we talked about this already? Or is this the first we're talking about? I think this might be the first that we've actually talked about doing this. So we have a Face Jam tracksuit. It's fucking baller. It has the embroidered monkey face on the breast. But then the pants have the stripes on the side.

It has a logo on it. And I think it's the 100% eat. It might be the Face Jam logo. And man, it's fucking awesome And I think it's the 100% Eat. It might be the Face Jam logo. And man, it's fucking awesome. I think it's Face Jam. Yeah. God, it's so fucking sick. That's funny too because it reminds me.

I didn't show you this. Let me find it here. We're living in merch world. Yeah. So Eric, you know about this already. Jordan, I don't think you know, but unfortunately, the Spice Rat shirt was stolen from us. Excuse me?

So the Spice Rat shirt was stolen. Okay. Oh, is this why? I think I saw a slack about this. Oh, well, some chuckleheads at Achievement Hunter. One chucklehead in particular. Whoever they are. They could be anyone.

Talking about, I had a big rice talk with a rice cooker. So they wanted rice rat. Right. I did see this message. And so I learned, I was like, you can't just steal. That's crazy. You can't just steal. That's crazy. You can't just take from one brand to another. But then I found out that our switch fork, it wandered.

I saw that too and was very confused. Same. So what is the- First confusion washed over me. You can't even use whatever the fuck that is. Then rage and theft washed over me. And so a rice rat was born. Now-

Do you think there's a rat in face jam that's like eating other podcasts or brands these jordan i know it what okay do you have proof i uh i'm working on okay but here's the concept that you saw let me tell you eric in in conversation of what we just had talking about like uh the track suit you're gonna love my note. It's very good. But here is my note, right? I said, because he put that in Face Jam and I went no! Get it out of there! And moved it back to the other

chat that it started in. And I said, can we do something with this? And I sent him some classic ramen bowls. Big Tony. And he answered me. He answered me. It was like right before the weekend.

He answered me like first thing this morning. And he's like, do you want the rat to hold that bowl? And I was like, no, no. I was wondering if you could do like a two-tone color scheme. It's just like,

it's, I'm trying to think what color would be good for a rice rat shirt. And it's just more rice bowls. And to me, like, look, you're the designer. I don't know how you do it he came back with this and I almost shit my pants

oh wow look how good that looks holy hell this is what I was oh that's awesome I was like that's perfect fucking rules that's really cool now this screams rice rat that screams achievement hunter rice rat well it could be face jamming I think the person whoever they were Now, this screams Rice Rat. That's true. That screams Achievement Hunter, Rice Rat.

Well, it could be Face Jam. I think the person, whoever they were, when they were saying it, I think turned to Trevor and said, Achievement Hunter, they own Face Jam, right? That's ours, right? I think technically that's true. I think it was technically true enough

for whoever this person was to follow through and get the shirt made. Oh, man. We should release that very soon. Immediately. That's awesome. The long sleeve. Yeah, I do like the long sleeve. I really like that ringer a lot. They're both good. It makes me want to eat at P.F. Chang's. Merch talk.

Well, this is how you do meetings. This is how we do meetings. Guys, I don't know if you know. I don't come to them. Yep. And then the last thing that I have for you guys, we need to know if you know. I don't come to them. Yep. And then the last thing that I have for you guys, we need to figure out what noises.

It's a rat that likes rice. What noises we want. That one. On, well, on, oh, the little thingy. On the monkey soundbite. It doesn't have to

necessarily be. So that's definitely one. Can we get just the sound of a gun, like cocking? Like he's going to execute someone. Probably not. It's like one that just goes? Like he's going to execute someone? Probably not.

It's like one that just goes. So he's ready? Yeah. Should we? No. So we got to think on what exactly we want to put. Oh, geek, geek. Yeah.

Oh, see, that's a good one. Monkey, monkey. Oh, the woman's screaming. So we got to take that from the episode. We got to take the goo. We'll probably throw in like, that's 100% eat. Okay. That's good.

We should take him from the episodes, right? We can. Yeah, for sure. Okay. That's good. We should take him from the episodes, right? We can. Yeah, for sure. Can we? For sure. We should grab as many quotes. Get one just Michael going, where were you when McMillian's happened? Oh, we should also get a Jordan Swear Science.

Oh, Swear Science. That might be a good one. Oh, Swear Science. Maybe we even do the effect. Not just him saying it, but do the whole thing. I don't know. I mean, that's like, we're bumping up at six right now.

We didn't even try. That's what I was looking for. That's because we're having a meeting in the middle of this episode. We're forcing the audience to listen to it. Well, now we know. So me and Nick will go and find those things.

So you would all like the long ads, but you like this? Doesn't make sense. Yeah, no idea. You're not trying to sell me something. Yes, we are. We're talking about what we're going to sell you. I think that's all the stuff that i have right now that that they had don't worry

you forgot i'm sure there's more but um all right so let's do the all over print on the pit viper on the vice keep saying pit vipers on the glasses and then also there's not a date for it we're gonna do here's here's the only thing with those glasses. Mm-hmm. They're very... Hmm. Should I put this? They have a particular audience. Yeah,

FaceTime. Well, FaceTime could be in there. But I'm thinking of a certain, like, profile of someone driving with,

like, a truck. Right, right, right. And glasses. Right. And maybe similar facial hair i feel like we should go with them but make sure we put on the glasses like maybe somewhere in the corner like i'm cool or like i pee my bed because that might weed out some unwanted okay i drive a

hybrid you know what i mean or like or like i'm an experienced eater i'm an experienced eater or like uh i think what we do put like i don't know uh i'm pro abortion you know something like that just put it on there something simple something something i uh i think what we do is we just kind of change the whole culture around it by making it the best pair of, the best version of those glasses that anyone can get. And we just have every Face Jam listener buy them and everyone's going to go, remember when these glasses used to be associated

with fucking trash people? Now it's associated with bug people. Right, exactly. I think that's the problem. You're replacing it with something that's worse. Someone's looking at the bug people going, hmm, what's wrong with them? Are the racists gone, gone?

Is it too late? I don't like these bug people. Is it too late to go back? So I'll ask for an all over print, but then also ask for something a little more skier forward. You know, whatever. Uh-huh. We'll see what we can get.

You know what, Eric? I'm happy. I'll just steal these. I'm fine. There's your pair. Oh, I definitely saw that coming. I'm just saying. They're samples.

I'm sampling them. Those with the track suit? Unstoppable. Oh, my God. Unstoppable. Unstoppable. Unstoppable. I hope I don't run into you in about an hour

because I'm not gonna be stopped well I guess we should learn about CC's Paisilla let's see what this is CC's Pizza you guys didn't chime in though if you were pro choice or not and I'm just curious oh I think it goes without saying

oh okay I think people would be... I just... Michael was losing it. I wanted to make sure that the audience didn't pick up on something not said. Right. That's true. Why didn't they jump in with him?

I'm bringing it back for everyone's benefit, but I am... I'm just saying. It's probably... Okay, two thumbs up. It's probably fool hearty of me to assume that everyone knows we're all on the same page about this

probably is way too because I think there's probably more than one person who finally just went that's it hey if you're ever wondering about being on the same page next time you see a

comment on the subreddit it makes you go I don't know click on their profile and see where else they post and see if you're ever wondering about being on the same page, next time you see a comment on the subreddit, it makes you go, I don't know. Click on their profile and see where else they post and see if we're really on the same page. We're not. They're weird. Boy, boy, you got some weird shit.

Oh, man. When you click on it and it says, are you sure you want to look at this profile? It's not safe for work. And you go, uh-oh. That right there might be enough information. Uh-oh. Alright. CC's Pizza, Paisilla Pizza. Click on my profile.

Traditional crust brushed with garlic butter and topped with tomato sauce. 100% real cheese. End of sentence. Paisilla is not available for delivery orders. Paisilla Party Cut. 64 slices. Calories listed or by slice?

What are the calories listed also has it by slice because they were not even they were it was a wild 64 slices yeah um that's the pizza press material yeah it's a big pizza we got pepperoni this piezilla is a 28 inch pie that is designed as a crowd-pleasing centerpiece of a party or event. Or podcast. And is cut into 64 pieces. Great. They're just trying to sweeten that deal as much as they can at the suggested price of $65.

What does that even mean? Like, just tell me it's $65. It's the MSRP for this pizza. Yeah, it's 65 it's the msrp yeah it's msr pizza the suggested price of 65 it's meant as an alternative to buying several pizzas several pizzas from your restaurant would cost 24 the behemoth pizza is two times the diameter of a traditional 14 inch pie and it cannot be delivered.

They tried. It must be picked up at the restaurant. It includes one topping and each additional topping is $6 via eatthis.com because there's no official this seems like instructions for the store manager.

Like, hey, fucker, it's 28 inches. We suggest you charge $65, stupid. Like, that's what it sounds like. Again, when when it sounds like on the prices, right? When they go actual retail price, $65. go actual retail price $65. It's just like when you, Cece's Pizza, say

it's to be an alternative to several pizzas. How do you not rectify the fact that you... I'm going to buy two 14-inch pizzas then. Even four pizzas. What's the most expensive pizza at cc i

assume i could buy five pizzas for less than 65 you could and it would be way more pizza than that and so again i where is this where's the point of it i don't understand it's so expensive i'm starting to think face jam should be the ceo the thing is like is we have better sense it would make sense to me if it evened out a little bit or if it was a little bit more. Right. Like, hey, the quote unquote convenience. It's not convenient. It's not convenient.

But that's the thing. It's the bit. It's the promotion. I want a big pizza. And so you end up paying five dollars more for a big pizza than the size you would have gotten from little pizzas combined. I get that. They're trying to make money. But sixty five dollars. Ins combined. I get that. They're trying to make money. But $65?

Insane. It's insane. Say you get eight slices in a 14-inch pizza. Okay. And it's $12. Okay. What's the math on that per slice? What's the price on that come out to?

You have a calculator right there. $8.50? $8.50. $1.50? Yeah. $1.50? Yeah, yeah. So, 64 slices for $8.50? $8.50. $1.50? Yeah. $1.50? Yeah, yeah. So 64 slices for $65.

It's a little more than a dollar a slice. But even round it to a dollar. Yeah, yeah. It's a tiny little square. Say that it's a dollar a slice. Those are really uneven slices. Right. That you're getting.

And even the big ones are not big. What it comes down to is not per slice. It's surface area. Yes. Per dollar. Because even like. And it's going to get blown out of the water. But you can get more surface area from three pizzas?

You can get the same for two. Yeah. You're already meeting it. And you've spent maybe $25. You've just done the math too. If you're paying per slice, you're paying $1.50 for a real slice of pizza. Like a real slice of pizza. Yes.

And not a little square. For arguably less than half of a slice. They cut it tavern style, which I was very disappointed by. You already said it. George was really upset. He opened it and said, oh, it's tavern style. He wanted the longest slice of pizza. I didn't even know that's what it was called. We learned that from a couple

pizzas. As soon as he opened it. So, $65. It just seems like a fucking rip-off. Get it. Pepperoni. $6 for each additional topping. If it were cheaper, I'd say do it for the novelty. It's hard for me because there's literally no novelty here because even, even stupid shit.

I don't know. It was a big pizza. We were like, oh, well it fit out the door. And the guy was like, yes, it will. Yeah. We didn't even talk about that. He was pretty good. Yeah.

Uh, Eric walked in and said, how's it going? And he went, it's going. Um, this is my guy. Yeah. He knew who he was talking to. Yeah. And you immediately went, oh, we can bring it down? Hell yeah.

It, you know, with stuff like, stuff that we may or may not deem expensive, right? For example, P.F. Chang's, that was expensive. Yes. Right? That was like a seasonal menu. But the thing is, you're getting something and that's the only way to get it and that's what it costs. So it is what it is. Right. You was like a seasonal menu. But the thing is, you're getting something, and that's the only way to get it, and that's what it costs. So it is what it is.

Right. You're not getting that here. You're just getting pepperoni pizza. It's big. It's like we got less steak. Exactly. For more money. You're getting something that you can get at a much cheaper price.

And so there's literally nothing to gain here. It's just more expensive. And it's big. I think CeCe thinks we're stupid. I say they're stupid if they think people are going to spend $65 at CeCe's. I always think about if you were a... There's no fucking way. You're a divorced dad and your kids

are coming for the weekend. Or you're a divorced dad and someone took you to CeCe's. Yeah, and Pasta Pete took you. Your kids are with your ex-wife now. Just for this weekend. And so the kids are coming and you're like, what's the fun thing I can get? You got Pasta Pete this weekend. Oh wow, this $65 pizza. It's $65. I'm not going to order this pizza. And so the kids are coming and you're like, what's the fun thing I can get? And you go, you got pasta pita this weekend. Oh wow, this $65 pizza.

It's $65. I'm not going to order this pizza. Like maybe if your kids are having, if your eight year old's having a birthday party, maybe. But you have to go pick it up. But you already have to go get it. You have to go get it. Why would you do it?

Why wouldn't you just go buy a bunch of small pizzas? Yep, it makes no sense. So what's your rating? What do you think? Truly baffling. This might be the first one I can ever call a straight up a rip

off. Yeah. Because you can just buy pepperoni pizza. It's definitely a rip off and also it's CC's pizza. Yep. So it's like hungry though I was. Hunger is the best sauce. Right. And I ate a whole bunch. You were just shoveling. But it's CC's pizza. It's fine. It was fine. There was something a little

not the buffet about it. You know? It was a little above that. I would say, yeah, it seemed, it's like better than Double Dave's. Yes. Which is pretty dog shit to you. But it's also not phenomenal. It was fine. Yeah.

It was fine. It passes as pizza. I'll give it that. It's not like garbage pizza. It's just like, it's buffet pizza. And that's why it's called that. So for $65, that's insane. I'm not paying $65 like garbage pizza. It's just like it's buffet pizza, and that's why it's called that. So for $65, that's insane. I'm not paying $65 for buffet pizza.

I'm going to give it a 36. Okay. Considering the price, the disappointment of the- I'm agreeing with you here, Jordan. I don't want to eat pizza from the middle without crust. We talked about this a little bit. A pizza without crust on the end is kind of just disappointing. And there's a lot of middle pizzas.

It's mostly middle. It's mostly middle because of the diameter. You know, we go back and forth on whether we care or not as far as price for ratings and stuff. But I feel like this one, I got to agree, it's super important. The pizza was fine.

Yeah. It's fine. The pizza food. I'm not paying $65 for that pizza. The whole aspect of it is it's big it's expensive it they don't deliver it you have to go get it yeah and truly at that point when you're standing in the store or just get anything just well here's the thing you're already there if you're there six dollars and get more exactly go with your kids and you spend six on each of you they can eat one slice of pizza they can have a fucking brownie they can have a drink whatever i mean also your kids and you spend six on each of you they can eat one slice of pizza they can have a fucking brownie

they can have a drink whatever I mean also your kids are gonna eat two pieces of this anyway and you're gonna have 60 slices of pizza

that owns you yep but anyway it's just yeah the whole thing is just kind of a miss it's a big pizza I'll give it that

it's very big but I cannot in good conscience endorse this pizza I say Face Jam is here to let you know, and I think you probably don't need this pizza.

I'm going to give it 30. Okay. That's a 33 as the score. And it's hard because the food's not bad. It's mostly, I can say, almost certainly, the most I've ever given a rating not based on taste. I agree. Because it needs to be. Yeah. It's crucial to reprise. Honestly, I would probably have a rating not based on taste. Yes. I agree. Because it needs to be.

Yeah. It's crucial to reprice. Honestly, I would probably have given it a 60. Yeah. For flavor. I was thinking 50. I think it tastes good. So if you're looking for the taste score, it's 55.

But if you're looking for the should you get it, eat a pepperoni pizza at CC's. Yeah. Maybe you're looking at a 55. Right. But if you're looking at the $65, 64 slice, also, couldn't make it 65 slices?

Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. Figure it out. Figure out how to do one more. Figure it out, bro. Cut 66 and throw one in there.

Fucking throw one away. I don't care. Well, take some extra dough. Well, that's all a fair score, but now it's time for Snack Attack. Yeah. Michael has provided this.

Well, yeah. Michael has kind of provided this. That's absolutely kind of. Michael has facilitated this. Well, Michael has kind of provided this. That's absolutely kind of. Michael has facilitated this. The Travel Channel has sent us a snack. Nick's very excited. The Travel Channel has sent us a snack.

It says Ghost-tober. It is Ghost-cember right now, so we might have missed it. Wait, is it Halloween or December? It's a very general. They sent us. Yes. The snack. They sent it to a building. They sent it to the building we work in.

It got passed around a little bit, made its way to me. Right. For who knows how many months? Well, I think probably about two months. Let's hope it's at least that. It's two months, not 14. Not 14. Okay.

So the reaction you're making, i haven't touched it yet doing something was what just eat it what okay i haven't smelled it i haven't opened it i was just given a lot of heads up about it grab one and the reason why i put it on your desk okay it wasn't it wasn't a fluke is there one i should be going for should i be going for the eyeball should i be going for i have no idea i just heard i, hey, Travel Channel sent these. That's not the only one. So people have eaten them. And people have had words about it.

I'm going to have the same one as Michael. Oh my God. Yep. It smells like they put... Me and Nick got skulls. It smells like Nesquik powder. With the sharpness and saltiness of tahini at the end. But it smells almost like chocolate powder.

Yeah. Ready? They're marshmallows, I assume? Yeah, I don't know. Let's try it. Oh, God. Oh, my God. This all is so bad.

Oh, this is so bad. Why does it taste like horses? Have you eaten horse? How do you know? Have you eaten horse? People eat horse. I haven't. What is it? This is terrible. This is eat horse. I haven't. What is it?

This is terrible. This is fucking terrible. I think there's like a... I think it's a raspberry. What do I... Is that raspberry in our short? Yeah. Okay.

So let me tell you. Let me tell you now. So these were given to me. What's in there? Water. Just spit in there. I think it's mine. Just spit in there.

I'll throw it away. Okay. Eric left. Like, the room. So, these were given to me. Oh, it's way too sweet. Jordan, these were given to me, and they were like, I think Weems gave it to me.

And she was like, This is like the worst thing any of us have ever eaten ever. This is so bad. What did we do to Travel Channel? They sent this, and they were like? They sent this and they were like, Happy Halloween! And they were like, these are the most disgusting

treats we've ever had in our life. This is some of the grossest things we've ever eaten. Do you want these? And I went, ooh, Face Jam!

And I took them. Travel Channel isn't going to go with big restaurants, I think. I think they're trying to get us. There's paper towels

right there that you want to spit them into something. Oh, it's in my mouth still. I can't. It's so sweet, and it's just this mishmash of horrible textures. It tasted like when you go to the fair

and you're around the pigs. It tastes like... I am the pig. It tastes like being around livestock. That was terrible. That was exceptionally bad. Why would they do that? What the fuck?

Travel channel, assign face jam. So that way you never have to do anything like this ever again. You can just send them pictures of us and everyone will be really excited about it. Hey, travel channel should just give us a show. So that way,

instead of sending out the snacks, they can send them. Yeah. They can send them. They can send people pictures of us. Also though, they can make up for what they just did to us. Here's what we do. Here's our campaign.

Okay. Okay. This is what we need the audience to start a campaign. Yeah. Send face jam, not snacks. Oh, that's good. Yep. That's pretty good.

Anytime someone's going to send something from travel, we're going to send a snack. Someone will go, no, send face jam. Send face jam. Right. Right. Yep. And they will show up and people can suck on us. Yep. Hell yeah. And spit us out in the trash. Well, we're going to send a snack. Someone will go, no, send face jam. Send face jam. Right. Right. Yep. And they will show up and people can suck on us.

Yep. Hell yeah. And spit us out in the trash. Well, that's all right. Well, there's, I was, okay. Well, what do you rate the gross snacks, Jordan?

Fucking disgusting. When did they drop five? For vowels from their name, by the way. A while ago. For a long, long channel. When did Zaslav take over? What, uh,

what do you give it? You give it a five? Uh, yeah, five? Two. Oh. I didn't know if you were rating or 3.5. when his dad's left takeover. What do you give it? You give it a five? Five? Two. Oh. I didn't know if you were rating or... 3.5.

Contemplate. 3.5 out of 100. These are fucking yucky. Yep. These things are hella yucky. Well, if you want to send us snacks, you can. You can send them Face Jam, Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street,

Austin, Texas, 78723. Pumpkin Spice Rat, almost sold out. The Fork and the Spoon, sold out completely. We did it. Face Jam Menagerie shirt is on sale now. You can also get the Face Jam decals, which are on sale now.

And then, hopefully, those track suits, maybe we can get them pushed up, but I don't know. The flavor of the marshmallows were on the side. Plum and blood orange. Is that what we had? I think so. Okay. God. Because we didn't have.

It was something red. We didn't have apple maple. I thought it was raspberry. And we didn't have pear. Okay. Well, that's what it was. Well, you had one of them. Yeah, I think we had pear.

You can follow us at Face Jam Pod on Instagram and on Twitter. Stay up to date with everything. Don't forget, Spittin' Silly comes out next week. You can email Face Jam Pod at RoosterTeeth.com with your food conundrums or anything else, really. But that's it for the business section. Jordan? What a good episode.

Great episode. Yeah. I really like this one. I like that the audience really found out and cemented, for sure, our stance on women's rights. And that we're for them?

Yeah, we're for them. Yeah, we're for them. Go ahead. Well, if you made it to the end of the episode, rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show or eat food and rate the food. Bye, everybody. Bye. ... ...

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