100% Eat - Completing the Hat District %% Hat Creek Queso Fries & Tots

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Sure. Nick is a fiend for the queso but we had to finish the Hat District. Are you a Tall Shirt guy? We gotta make the Tall Shirt. There goes those Tall guys. Get water out of your lungs and get these queso fries & tots in you. Monkey Burger lives! New year, new merch (for you) https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here we got going. Welcome to 100% foot. The show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You definitely do. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my coach. Jordan Swears. Jordan, how are you? And your feet. And shoe.

Feet are good. Chew good. Hatt. Non-existent, but we did go back to the hat district. We did go back to the hat district. Specifically because we wanted to go to the hat district. We went to hat. We went to Hat Creek for

Caso Fries and Tots Nick actually pointed out that Hat Creek does Like we saw the Hat Creek when we were at Haddy B's talking about the Hat District and I don't know how much sleuthing he needed How much convincing he needed to look into it But he just Out of nowhere was like hey by the way Hat Creek does limited time food

So we should go there What's up with you? Okay I was waiting yeah I was waiting too Yeah suspiciously quiet over there. Okay. He was done. Eric,

do you want to record the podcast or do you want to do it later? Oh, hang on. I took too long to respond to you. Sure. We were on the way there. He did it wrong.

And Eric, Eric said, do you guys want to eat there or take it back? And he went, sure. Yes. No. That's what I'm sorry. That is exactly wrong.

On your side. I know what you did. So let's recreate it in his head. So Nick, I'm going to pause the question. And then you throw it out when you think it was the appropriate time. Hey, do you guys want to eat there or do you want to take it? No, it was, that's not how it happened. No, he was done talking to me.

Eric was done talking to me. Eric was. No, he wasn't. But you were done listening. And that I'm with you. I understand you stop listening. It's true. When he said, do you want to eat there?

Your brain went, sure. Michael figured it out. But he finished and posed the other one. I even knew immediately because I went, that's helpful. He said this or this and you said, sure. And I went, that helps. My response was to get mad for Eric just to give him a break or I was like, Nick, you're not helping. I appreciate it.

I appreciate it. There's a whole other company where I have to deal with that with three other guys who do the same thing. Sure. He doesn't. He doesn't because he takes a back seat to all of the other guys doing it. There's a line. The other fucking guys are all lining up to knock me down. And I just go, all right, great.

That's good. So this is like a reprieve for you. Oh, yeah. So actually, you should be thanking, Nick. Yeah, you are well. Thank you. You just completely changed this narrative. You just talked about how helpful Nick is.

Nick wins again. Nick wins again, baby. Yeah, that's how I feel. I feel like Nick wins again. He does. That's how Nick feels too. So I mentioned this on the ride along, but I bring it up again. I saw a woman wearing a shirt that said smart and it was like a logo or something.

And I was like, we should make a shirt that says dumb. But then it started thinking like funny or just more. like nonsensical things. Like even dumb, it's like clearly a joke or something. I'm like, what if we get a shirt that just says tall? God,

I love this idea so much. We've just been pitching ideas and ideas are word. Yeah. And I said foot. And Nick went, no. Right before we started the podcast,

he goes, chew. And I went, come on. What was that? You said pants. Oh, I went, oh no.

I went lower. Yeah, you went as low as you go, baby. Went all the way down to the sucking part. I did say, I said, out of the ground.

We should put a hat. No, no, pants. And then Nick Yel chew. Panny. Okay, don't put. No, don't put panty. You are not. You're trying to yourself.

I mean, panties aren't sucks. What you need to do is, stop. Stop. Hey, hey. Again, Nick's right again. Panties aren't socks. That's true. That's the bare minimum we're going for.

Hey, guys, Nick wins again. I guess you're done. Can't stop win it. Pannies aren't socks. There's another shirt. Write it down. Yeah, that's a different line. Panties aren't socks.

That's the, I don't know what to call that. The defensive line. You just put all your excuses on a shirt. Panties aren't socks. Panties aren't socks. He was done talking. You were done. You were done talking.

We all heard. Well, actually, I win. It was great. It was a great outing. I've, dude, my days have been going. I dealt with the whole car mess. Yeah. My tire exploded last night while driving.

That was fun. It is right there. And then I had it. It's cut chair. Jason. It is tough chair, it's not in the chair. No,

it's prop up against the chair. Like someone could like put their feet on it. Someone could sit in a cup chair like this. It's an Ottoman. Put their feet on the tire. Don't get any ideas. Yeah, it just went spaghetti on me. Yeah, it is.

It sure went spaghetti. There's nothing left. Are you really? I can't. We can talk about it. All right. I asked him you to catch it. He said no.

I've never seen a tired dude this, by the way. I don't know that it's still a tire at this point. It's spaghetti. I haven't seen a wheel do that. It's spaghetti. I haven't seen rubber look like that before. He told you that you should go wash your hands. No, but we should do it be really funny.

Let me put this on your face. No. But we'll smear it all over your face. It looks really funny. Yeah. Walk, waka, walk, walk, walka. No, just the face. She.

We parked at the Hat District. We parked at the same spot again. It's easy to go and back to the Hat District now because we know where to park now. And then when we go. We walked through the garage. Right. Watch the ride along this week and you can see Jordan Press F to pay respects. We had to pay our respects.

Drive right over to. We're all squared up now. Yep. It's like 85 degrees in Austin today. Yeah. It's unfortunate. It is January. It's so fucking hot.

We ate at the Hat Creek at the Behesse. of Nick and uh sure sure it was it was fine it was that TV was fucked up yeah they had two TVs and I was usually they're playing the same thing so I was like looking at one right and it was playing like something that was also sports and I was like what are they talking about oh look at this one that's closer it is a different sports show and it was like oh okay I guess I just won't know what's going on all the same shit then the other one was like it was zoomed in yeah but But not, it wasn't cut off on the left side. Oh, so it's just aspect ratio,

but only on one side? Only on the right side. Because you could read everything, the whole like, the whole like lower third that was like, Josh Allen, will he make the Super Bowl? Uh-huh. Yeah, push is play.

Yeah, we put push on. We pushed play on push. Whoa. And then I did a jumper to get it going. That was the other movie that we were talking about. Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen push, but I have seen jumper. But then we watched like an AI.

commercial. Probably talking about the TV. Yeah. The aspect ratio was all fucked up. Yeah, the website was crazy. The website name. I can't remember what it was, but it was like,

good Friday plans. Yeah, yeah. That's like, that's like what it was. It was like, can he get my dick hard on Friday? Friday's only. But it was like,

the website. The commercial was just like a phone going to this website or whatever with like AI hands. Fat sausage, like hot dog fingers. It's the kind of. To the kind of real at all.

It's the kind of fingers that are like square at the end where the nail is so bitten down that there's like no quick. They look like SpongeBob hands. Yeah. Dude, it looked like a SpongeBob joke like Ren and Sippy style cutaway. Yeah, where it's like super detailed.

Yeah, yeah. It was like, but the whole time we're watching, this is AI. They just kept showing the guy opening the package and looking at the pills. Just like over and over again. And then it would come back to the phone and be like, this is how much I paid.

It's definitely. meant to be for, it's a YouTube ad. So in the first five seconds, whatever you skip. Yeah. But they just went, well, I mean, skip on the TV. Well, fuck, we can just put this on Fox Sports One, a channel nobody fucking watches for zero dollars.

Because of the TV. Yeah. We should see how much it is to advertise on any of these sports channels to advertise a podcast. Fuck the podcast. You advertise the shirts. Yeah. Oh, dude.

Fucking tall shirt. People buy a tall shirt. And we should do it in the style where it's just like, I ordered the shirt. Now I'm tall. Yeah. And then we should. Ordered the shirt. Now I'm tall.

It's the same thing over and over it. They delivered in discrete packages. Eric puts it on and then it's just like a cut and he's just put him on an apple grade or something. He's redder. My head's here and then I put the shirt on and my head's here.

Whoa! That's awesome. Did that shirt make you tall? Well, it's tall shirt. Tall shirt. I bet it's like dirt cheap to advertise. Probably because nobody watches these channels. Yeah. That's why every middle of the day. It's why every.

Every channel is just like, I don't know, what TikTok influencer or whatever, can we just get on this? What John Boy Media fucking spinoff thing? Can we just get on here to license their content? Right. Because we're not going to make it. They don't have any money to make it. They have to pay the NBA. Like, they don't have any money to make a show.

It's fucking crazy. So we could definitely, we could definitely get on TV. We can get a Fox Sports or whatever. Fox Sports 2. I want Fox Forks. I said Spots Forks. I kind of like a Fox Forks. We could probably get on Fox Sports One is what I want.

I'm not going to settle for anything last. Speaking of Fox or Spock forts. I have a new critter in my backyard. It's a Fox. No way, really? Yeah, Fox has been showing up. Chris or Marshall. I named it Marshall.

I named the Fox Marshall. He's been staying in my backyard. Does he know anyone at FS1 that can get us on TV or is he just like not affiliated? I think he's, he's more of the swiper type of Oh So Nick Jr. maybe? Yeah, maybe Nick Jr.

I thought maybe he had like Venezuela opinions. No. Oh, is it not that one either? No. Drill baby drill. We're getting that nicotine. You also talked about drilling for nicotine early tonight. Oh yeah, because we saw a post that looked like a cigarette.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Nick like... First of all, what is the purpose of those things? I think it's because everyone in this neighborhood drives like fucking maniacs. Watch out. Tyre guy's coming. I put it so far in the middle of like the curve. Yeah.

Like you would have to be going way over. Yeah. That's not. Yeah. I don't. It's not like a barrier from the street. That was also my first reaction when you were like you sent us the picture of your, like your tire blown out.

I was like, did somebody in our neighborhood hit you? Yeah. Because that was where my mind's first. Just the assumption. No, but it made sense to bring that car here. Yeah.

I would drive where it makes sense. Yeah. Right. No. Look. It's like, it's like streets of rage. We were just talking about that

We were used to that Yeah, we were talking about Smoking cigarettes or whatever Nick was talking about gum and Well, we're talking about sucking juice We saw the thing that looked like a cigarette In the ground And then I was like, oh, they're growing the tobacco

Straight into it Yeah, and then we just went like We're all, I feel like America grows tobacco I'm sure other places do What is tobacco? This is stupid conflagration It was just like, I don't know And then it was like, yeah, it's like

Not even like a big deal You smoke tobacco, you smoke anything saying it's the nicotine that's addictive. And Nick went, what? It was like, yeah, anything that you smoke is bad for you. That smoke isn't supposed to go in your lungs. Blow it out. Vapor.

Blow it out. It's different. Yeah, it's water. It's fine. It's water. Yeah, water should be going inside your lungs. Yeah. Where do you keep yours?

This asshole? Where it's my big camel hump. Oh, are you thirsty? Hang on. Let me get some out of my lung. That's right. Pungure. I hit it from the side.

Yeah, hell, that's good. Did he just throw up my lung water? Yeah. Uh, but it's not throwing up. It's dispensing. Yeah. I'm sure a bunch of places grow tobacco, but no one like here, baby. USA, probably Cuba.

I'm just glad I didn't get pulled over. They don't want to deal with that. Yeah. Sorry, you realize you have three tires on your car? I know. Help me. I'm trying to get back to the house so I can fucking drink. I'm doing it in the right order, sir.

I know. I drank so much after I got back. What did you drink? Fireball. Was it, were you planning to do this? already or you were just like to fuck this? No, that it was a fuck this but I planned and got alcohol earlier

in the day so we happen to have some here. Uh-huh. I actually never have liquor. Yeah. And so I bought fireball and I bought vodka. And I was like, oh, I can have drinks if I feel like I'm gonna drink later at the house. I'll have it there. And then my tire exploded and you went, well, I guess I'm drinking at the house. Yep. Yep.

Jesus Christ. I got a donut on. Yeah, that's good. Oh, yeah, yeah. Watch ride along for Michael his whole experience with that, which did not know you could do that all over text. That's pretty incredible. Oh, yeah, like, schedule. And he called me, but like I found, I found, like, when he's like doing it.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah. No, I know. That was awesome. I found a guy that came out. But yeah, he never knocked on the door once. He never called me outside. He would just be like, doing it. Doing this.

Even when he got here, I knew he was coming because he gave me an ETA. He didn't even tell me he was here until he was already working on it. He's like, I'm outside getting started. Fucking crazy. This is awesome. Talk to me as little as possible. Yeah, it was super professional. Easy peasy.

man. When I have someone coming to my house for something, it's like my whole day. I know. That's what I was expected. He was here in less than an hour and he was probably done in 40 minutes. Wow. That's crazy. We were talking about like, well, if we show up and he's still here, maybe he'll be on the podcast.

Yeah, it's our new Tony. Yeah, we start talking about Tony. Your best friend. I don't even think. I don't even think he introduced himself, which is totally fine. I don't even think he told me his name and I did not tell him mine. Could have been Tony. That's so cool. He was outside on the ground jacking the car already. And I came outside.

I'm like, Oh. He's doing what? Yeah. 1,800 jack off. Um, I was like, I'll be inside if you need me.

And he was like, okay. No, that's 1,800 jack on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was jacking on. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You get jacked up. Seven, seven, seven. I couldn't. Oh, they're those tall guys.

All I could think was there go those tall guys. You know, I couldn't stop thinking about there with those tall guys. It was, I was, getting so angry you didn't say the word up.

You were like 7-Eleven. I went, that's what it says. And you're like, seven, uh, uh, I'm like, uh, why are you, can't you say it? I could not. First of all, that's a soda and you're looking at it. And you said, I could stop thinking about those tall guys. I could stop thinking about making a shirt so successful that we become known just

specifically for that. And then we were referred to as that, the tall guys. And finally being referred to as a tall guy. Yeah. It got me too excited. I couldn't read. He were, he didn't visit. You were standing.

You're like, I, I'm falling apart. Like my tire. I can't wait to be the tall guy. We got to hit the Express on tall shirt. You guys, uh, with some other ones. You guys ever been to a Hat Creek before?

A couple times. This is your first Hat Creek experience? Yeah, never been there. Whoa. It's a, uh, was in the burger rotation,

uh, back at Rooster Teeth going with Gus. Oh, really? Yeah. Uh, Hat Creek, Hat Creek is, uh, yeah, it's a solid place or whatever. Everything is a little too expensive.

It is pricey. Dude, that's, we got little baby burger. and they were $6. Yeah. I think that's pretty crazy. It is... Call me old fashion.

Was the cheese extra? What's that? Was the cheese extra? Yeah, I think so. Otherwise, they would include it. Yeah. That's why, I mean, great, he was asking you,

right, as I was saying it anyway. I give you a warning. I was like, there's no cheese on that, by the way. That was good looking out. Because I read it and I'm like, they fucking say cheese. There's seven bucks each. We got the queso fries,

the queso tots. We got drinks. And it's like, it was 75 bucks. And that is the common complaint across all like the Yelp reviews and everything that, hey, this is like fine, but there are so many better places to spend your money for what you're getting here. It is not worth it.

And it was like, damn, man. Because I thought, I've only been to Hat Creek like a handful of times. I like it every time I do. But I leave and I go, why the fuck did I just spend that money? Yeah. That is crazy. Yeah.

There's the reason I haven't been there in a while. Yeah. Like, it's not, not in the redshirt. I try to avoid the hat. Until they open that lids. Yeah. What other hat stores could they? Hat adjointed stores could they open?

I'm sure. Yeah, an actual. Yeah, an actual hat store. I'm sure the price has gone up like everything else, but compared to shit that's skyrocketed. Man, I just went to Rudy's the other day. Yeah. It's getting cheaper by comparison. Really?

Well, it's just like, it's always expensive as brisket, you know? And you get like a pound, whatever. I'd spend, I think I got a pound of brisket and it was like 30 bucks or something like that. But it's like, $6, fucking $7 dollar, $7 cheeseburger. The briskets looking pretty good. Not bad, right? Because I always know I'm gonna spend more money.

Just give me all the protein. You know, I don't get cheap lunch at Rudy's. I never get like a sandwich. I just get a pound of meat. Right. Right, right. Pound that meat, yeah. Yeah, 100 town meat.

To whore. Too whore. But Nick was the one. So Jordan was like, we got to go back to the hat district. But Nick was like, check it out. They got limited time. Caso fries and casso taut. So even like the burger wasn't,

what's wrong? I was just looking for the facts and I always think of the other sheet and I just read the first sentence Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. But, but we need to learn about Hat Creek since Michael's never been. I know nothing.

You guys know nothing. I didn't see a single hat in there. It's true. They may, they probably sell hats. Everybody fucking sells Oh yeah. They should be right out the fuck front though, man. $35. Should be shoving a hat down my fucking throat along with a cheeseburger. $35.

Oh, hamburger. It's still, yeah, isn't a hamburger? $7. Cheeseburger. Cheese is extra. So, all right. Hat Burger Company was founded in Austin, Texas in 2008 as a humble food truck serving up delicious burgers, fries, and shakes. Fact taken from Hat Creek website.

I didn't know that it was a food truck. No one ever talks about it being a food truck. No one ever talks about it being from Austin specifically. I knew that much. This is an Austin chain. I brought it up to Blaine and he had no idea. What? Yeah.

He was. That's crazy. Yeah, I had no idea. He's like, oh, I didn't know. It was local. We just knew that there are a few around here. Like that was. It's definitely Texas based.

There's a fuck ton. The Taylor's like, oldest time as far as like, like that used to be the way you did it. It was like you started as a food truck in 2008. But now you just remain the food truck and you make it so fucking difficult to just get food quickly.

Wait, no, when you tell me the other day you like standing at a food truck when it takes 20 minutes. I love standing near a trailer that's taking 45 minutes to make me.

food and also everything has bees around it for some reason. There's bees and every trash can. Don't forget you're standing next to the exhaust for the AC. Yeah, absolutely. It's really loud. You can't hear them call your name. It takes an hour. And if it's late at night,

which a lot of times you're getting food trucks at night, there's drunk people everywhere. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep. They're worse than the bees. It just, I think food trucks used to be a concept that really worked. There should be some sort of like,

I think Austin food trucks are different too. I think that so many of them became brick and mortar that everyone went, well, that's the path. And now nobody's doing the second fucking step. We should make a Meow Wolf style experience where it's the 100% eat food truck. We do not offer food, but you can wait in line next to bees. Oh shit. Yeah, I think I've done that at a place trying to get a bagel one time where it's just I've done this experience. Alvangar.

Yeah, I know it's not like a blanket statement, but generally speaking, I, I do associate or used to and wish to. Food truck fast food. Way fast. You fast. That's the point. Make me. It's always like a restaurant.

It is. It's now just like a restaurant. It is. And the busier it is, there's a line. It'll be 30 fucking minutes. It's a slower restaurant. It is, honestly.

It sucks. I'm anti-food truck. We need the next, like, because we've reached kind of the end of like, what made food truck special. Yeah. Whatever the new thing is needs to pop up. I think I know what it is.

It's fucking restaurants. Just open a restaurant. No, I want drone food. Like, why does Airbnb suck now? What can I possibly do? Oh,

wow. Oh, my God, dude. I've, I've, like, I know people that, like,

I was like, they were like talking about trips and shit. And it's like, the hoops. Yeah. You have the jump through to get it. It's so insane.

It's like, it's so not, unless you're going to have a huge group in one house. Like, you know, like, you got like,

like, you got like, you know, oh, make sure the blanket's folded. Yeah, like, I don't like deal with a purse. I would say, it's, it's not just like staying in someone's house, like, ooh, it's someone's house. It's, I'm like, now beholden to a person that can just annoy me. Yeah.

And complain, you have to, like, you rely on them. I'm drooling on myself. You rely on them. And it's not like it can't happen at a hotel. I'll go to hotel. All your room's not ready or whatever. But to need one person and it's like, oh, they're not here. Or like, they didn't unlock the key.

Oh, they didn't answer the phone. They're like, what the fucking let me in. Yeah. It's such a pain in the ass. I hate it. Like I understood like you said like in the beginning. Yep. It's not that. Dude, in the beginning it rocked. It's not that. It's not that.

Because it's gonna fucking hotel. It actually is disrupting it. But then it always turns out to be the thing that it was disrupted. Then it erupts again. Yeah. Right. Then it becomes. It was a self-rump. It becomes mainstream and becomes what it was trying to undercut. Anyway, check out Mickleth weight. That's my newest one

that was a food truck that I would go to sparingly and now a brick and mortar that I'll go to all the time. Yeah. It's a church. McElthwaite is an old church now. And it's good. So good. Not this one soon. We already have a plan for that one.

So it's pretty good. What's the plan? Chris. We're going to eat Chris from the M.J. podcast. We're going to dip them finally. Side of Chris. I didn't want to do this in the middle of the facts, but now it's a good segue.

What? Oh, that's right. I've got gift cards. Oh, thank you. Mama burger. And monkey burger. Oh, wow. Wait a second.

I'm Papa Burger. Oh, no. Oh, don't worry. Someone also made Bunky Merger. Oh, yeah. Their OC, who's like the anti-Monkey Burger. I really like shark hot dog, who is their own in all the powers of monkey burger. That's good.

But he's a shark. Now, don't be fooled by this somewhat generous gift. Yeah, it was mostly for me. Oh, to get my caseo gold card. He's a card carrying member. Yep. Wow, you can scratch off gently. Yeah.

That's my license to spill. Wow. One free full order of green chili queso. What happened? Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, so free queso for a year with any purchase at Torchis. Hell yeah, it's been $250.

Thank you. How many times have you gone so far? Once. Yeah. It's about to be twice. Yeah. Hell yeah. Thank you for the card.

Yeah. This is exciting. Can't we get side of bean. Yeah, I'm going to use this to get side of bean and then we can get unlimited queso. Right. So Chris told us about it in great detail as we talked about on Christmas Eve. Yep. So we're meeting him at Torchise after this.

We're gonna get two fucking Cases. Michael Jordan podcast this week is with pasta Pete. So you want to go to patreon.com slash 100% eat. Check it out. Boom boom. Could he be Caso Chris now? Wow. Could he be Casso?

Yeah, that's called him Case of Kyle or something. That's true. Second fact. Second fact, ranking 489th in sales nationwide, Hat Creek has expanded to 24 locations, ranging from all the way up in McKinney, Texas, to all the way down in lowly shirts. All occasions look like a bam.

A barn. Okay, I was confused. All occasions look like a barn and have a playground so your kids can fuck off for a little bit and you can have some peace and quiet, but ultimately you're still in shirts so you've got to start making some tough choices. Sauce Monkey gets it.

You saw him get it and then stop getting it. He got it immediately and then it was like, have you been to shirts? Yeah. Of course. Not the Hat Creek, but you've been to shirts. But I've been to shirts. And you wanted to get out.

Of course. Yeah. I don't think I've been to shirts. It's just down there. It's by San Antonio. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just, but it's spelled,

Shirts is spelled insane. Yeah. Well, it's clearly some sort of German name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But if you were to say like, it's actually spelled like next name.

Yeah. And then when people go like, oh, you know, shirts and you're like, right, in pants and tall and shoe. No. No, I don't like what I said. Digging you back. Okay.

Oh, this is a good one. Nick, listen to this. Austin Moms.com made a list of 11 reasons we love Hat Creek, listing reasons such as grab a beer or wine, and beer is $1.00 on Thursday. Whoa. Nick, these moms are drunk and look into dot dot dot, dot, you know, Milf Hunter Monkey is on the brow and he wants to make sure your backseat is big

enough for a car seat. Oook, ooh, mama. Whoa. Jesus Christ. Drinks are on me. Yeah. Monkey burgers got his sights. The sights on his gotten set on a new target.

I'll let you borrow the casso card that night. Ooh. How about a nightcap? Do you like bean? You like cider bean? You ever eat sushi off a Japanese woman? Try queso. It's hot!

Oh man. On February 3rd of last year, workers called out nationwide to participate in, quote, a day without immigrants protest. at the Hat Creek in Dripping Springs 8 workers who participated in the protest were fired on the spot when reached out for comment Hat Creek said sorry we don't speak English but they did it in the kind of voice we can't repeat here

but you know the one you're in your car alone and you're doing it Ew we can't believe you did that you should go work at Hat Creek make America hat again what the fuck I knew I really like I paused after I said a day without immigrants I misread that right nope that doesn't sound like a good protest. That's crazy.

I knew that Jordan was really going to resonate with this. I thought the connotation at first was also like, like, very bad, but then it clicked. I was like, oh, okay, I see what they're doing here. But then, of course, they just fired. They fired eight people on the spot. They fired people over text message. In dripping springs, dude, that's like,

that's too close to Austin. Yep. Yeah. It was a big, it was a, it was a, I remember when it happened, it was a really big deal. That, yeah. That's crazy. That's nuts. And the big issue, I think, and the reason that, like, raised a whole thing was everyone was

was fired, like, without cause on, like, first offenses over text message to be like, don't you, you can tell they really struck a nerve. Yeah. Yep. I wonder what kind of company this is then, huh? That's something to think about. Nick liked it so much, too. And their logos, right?

It's a red hat. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Real patriots. Yeah, go ahead. Let's do it. And the final fact in April of 2022, teachers got a free burger at Hat Creek when showing ID.

Teachers. The founder of Hat Creek said that celebrating teachers is close to the company's heart because his teacher used to be. Oh, his wife used to be a teacher. Yeah, sorry. I wrote these real late last night. Oh, were you helping Michael? Yeah. My teacher used to be a teacher.

Uh-huh. used to be one. His wife used to be one. Yeah, she was until Sauce Monkey got done with her. No regrets, no remorse. That's what he has tattooed on his leathery bat wings, but he doesn't need them to fly because he, because actually his dirty bike can fly fast enough to cut a school and a half.

So everyone gets a half day off from school. And they don't even have to go back sometimes. Checkmate teach. Whoa. You just drive by? No, he drove through. Yeah. Yeah.

I like that when he cuts the school and have to get a half day. Well, only that side of the school. You have to start sell a shirt that says teacher on it. You have to start thinking in like seventh grade logic of like, well, if I cut the school in half, then we will have a half day.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. The word half is in it. So it really makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Half school half day. Yeah. Think about it. Can't do a whole day of school without old school. You're just starting ringing very loud. Wow. You think when you're watching it, you went. It just went, like out of nowhere.

I can't believe how easy teachers have it. I'm sick of that. I wonder, this was, this was 2022. I wonder if the founders of Hat Creek still stand by teachers. Oh, probably not. Or if maybe they're totally for everything going on with the Department of Education these days. Oh, it's run by Vince McMahon's wife. She knows how to do school.

She doesn't know fucking shit about nothing. It's awesome. But somehow it's like here's the president and then here's former world heavyweight champion Triple H. And it's like this sucks. Did you see when she was like she was doing some sort of like congressional hearing or something? She was getting grilled and she kept calling AI A1. She kept saying A1. She kept saying A one.

Stake sauce. I don't know. It's not good sauce. It's the worst. I think what she saw. How did they also not good for school? They really pizza hudded themselves somehow. Like A1 is the sauce.

Everyone knows on the planet. It's terrible. It sucks. And also like an A1 is like top tier. Yeah. It's not. It's not. More like 4F.

Damn. Hey, speaking of sauce, this fucking guy. What? One of the reasons he wanted to eat at the Hat Creek. He made very clear. How'd you know? You can't. You said it.

I don't think so. You definitely. This is the only reason I know it. Yeah. I said that. That's why you wanted to eat there. You said... Why did you want to eat there?

See how easy you can get under his skin now? Yeah, I know. He just goes, he goes, I didn't say that. I love it. He said that he wanted to eat there because you can't take their sauce to go. Nick has just entered a thing.

He just does something and says, no, I didn't. And it drives him fucking insane. I thought he meant the reason that I wanted to go there originally. No, no, no. That was the reason why you wanted this. That was your...

Sure. Because you processed all that year. Eric, that one's on me. That one's on him. They're all. Thank you. You know what? Thank you for admitting.

You're welcome. Nicholas, you're welcome. Hey, oh. Yeah, but as a result, you won again. No, yeah, I don't think he lost. Thank you. Yes. Shirts.

So he brought these sauces back to the table. And he went, this is their hat sauce. It is, it is reminiscent of a cane sauce. And I just went, I just looked at Jordan like this. Reminiscent. What? Yeah, your little display. It was great to because he just,

he just brought it all and started talking. He had handles of it, set it down, and then started explaining it. Okay, it was a nice thing to do. So here's my collection. This one is, this one's, I thought it was a very generous thing to do.

Bunky Merger. Yeah. He cuts to school in half, and even half day. Bunky murder. He's like, He showed us like hummy mustard and it was like coming all over the place. It was dribbling down the side like cum and I was like, looks like gum.

And he goes, it's mustard. Well, no shit. Oh, thank God. It was like, it was like. I said the word come a couple times before I realized it was the guy who had his baby right behind me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he was having a fun time listening to us. It was.

I think it's fine. It's way more eye than anything his baby was saying. Better than the TV. God, no kidding. Although that commercial came on soon after. I interpreted Nick saying it's mustard. Like, don't insult it. It's mustard.

Hey, get it back. I interpreted it. No, no, it's not cum. It's not cum. It's mustard. That's all I interpret it. Just because you said it looks like cum, I feel like I should tell because again, Nick was being helpful.

Oh, you don't get it. Yeah. This is humming mustard. It is reminiscent of cum. It wasn't good mustard. It was very weird. I didn't even try it. I tried at the end because I forgot.

Why would we try any of the sauces? The fries were recovered. in casso. They were covered in a lot of things. There was a lot of stuff. Holy fuck. And here's the thing I didn't really understand at all. Uh-huh. So we got, fuck, how many things the queso came with like eight or pen? Yeah,

yeah, it was eight. So it was full. We got two orders of the casso fries, two orders of the queso tauts and they gave us eight casso like ramekin cups that we had to pour on ourselves. Which, which, I mean, we also have pictures. I understand sometimes you do it as like the customer.

Right. Like I get that. That's not what confused me. What confused me is surely it was way more work to put eight cups of Cato instead of just going and I can see if we got it to go, but we didn't. No. So I'm just like, very clear about there. We sat down, immediately open them and poured on and I said, why didn't they pour it up? Yeah. And they were like, I don't know. I brought two because you could see just two more of these, how much space it would take up. Yeah. It was a fucking whole tray of just caseo cups. Yeah.

I was like, I was taking it back by like, we were really surprised. being served in this style. The amount in this. This is like, this is a really good amount of, this is just the thoughts, that's just the fries. We got two each.

There's a lot. There's so, we didn't even use like half the queso. One of those ramekins of the casso was plenty. Yeah. So I don't know. It was way more than enough. It's a lot.

Yeah. Well, I would have used it. The reason we still have these is because Nick is taken it home. Oh, Nick. Yeah. Nick, it's gonna be so good.

Happy. Oh, I'm excited. New Year's saying Nick. Yeah. Hell yeah. Old fries. It doesn't matter. The peso will be good later.

The fries are merely a vessel to get all of the other stuff in. Like the crispiest bacon you've ever had in your life. The biggest pieces? The biggest pieces. Yeah. He missed that. What? I didn't know you were doing something.

We were getting ready to leave or. I was getting a drink. And Nick's getting up and he's walking around. And Jordan's talking to me. And he goes, as bacon's too crispy. Nick goes, it's perfect. I'm doing. getting a drink and Nick walked up

behind me and I didn't know why he asked this he just went Do you think the bacon was too push me? Whoa, two stories became one. And then Nick walked off and Jordan's just staring at me and I'm just staring at him and I was like

man, he's on another level this guy now. It's perfect. I didn't know why you asked me that. I thought going. Because I was right. He needed a reassure.

Essentially. Essentially, I'm saying, man, this bacon wasn't that good. And they're going, it's perfect. Yeah. Like, I know, right? It's perfect. It was just like, that's funny. Not at all what I said.

It's also funny because he was like leaving. Like, yeah. It wasn't the thing that was happening around him. He was, he was in ear shot. It's perfect. But then he brought the conversation to me. He was like, hey. Yeah.

The guy, the guy just saying some stuff about the baby. Yeah, right. I don't want to bring it up in front of everyone, but. I told Nick that I liked. that I like the bacon, but it's too fucking big. Yeah, some of it's giant. You cannot get it with your fore.

It's just sort of there. I'm like, if it was softer, you could poke at it and grab it and he's like, I thought it was perfect. I like it. It's like, okay.

Could have been smaller. And so I went, okay, I just thought it was like too big, like it was big, big pieces where it could have been like crumble. But it wasn't too Christian, right? It wasn't.

I just didn't make sure. I also, I also enjoy bacon on the softer side. So when you said that to me, Yeah. Regular crispy. Right. So I was like agreeing with you guys.

Right. We were like, we were like, oh, it's too crispy. It's perfect. He just, he was standing.

He was like, and he was standing over and he just goes, it's perfect. Yeah. It was like he spitted on this. I grabbed a piece of bacon off your guys's fries

and it was like half a fucking piece of bacon. That was the biggest piece in the whole thing. It was huge. It was huge. Surprise when you picked that. I was like, oh, that's the gigantic. Well,

it's because you can't eat it with the fucking french fries. You just have to eat the piece of bacon. It's big ass. Did you think the bacon was too crispy? Did you? No, I thought it was fine. Hearing a lot of talk. Jesus Christ.

A lot of, many are saying about this crispy bacon. I'm trying to quash this bacon talk. Bacon revolt. There's a bit of a bacon rebellion. I think we might need to depose the president. I think we should do a nighttime strike. I think that if the president was about to go,

up and do a speech, the monkey would go up to him and be like, and the bacon's not too crispy. You need to talk about how the bacon's fine. The bacon's not perfect. Yeah, right. The bacon's good. Everyone loves it. People are saying it's perfect and it's not too crispy. Sleepy Joe falling asleep, making his bacon too crispy. The bacon's so crispy.

That's from the Biden administration. Biden bacon. Oh, fuck. Biden bacon. is a thing he would say. Yeah. That's two bacon perfects. Yep.

Oh, fuck, man. Jordan, you want to teach us about this food? Yeah, this is real short. So it goes like this. Caso fries, fry is seasoned to perfection. It goes like this. With crispy bacon. Notice that the fries were seasoned to perfection,

the bacon was crispy. Uh-huh. So, so, and green chilies. Always gluten-free. There were a lot of green chilies. I wasn't expecting so many green chilies. And I had a lot of flavor. Yeah, I liked it a lot.

From the shit in it, not just the cheese. It was rich. I thought the cheese was going to do the heavy lifting and it did not have to. No. Casso tauts look like this. Tots with crispy bacon. Oh, crispy bacon?

Casso and green chilies. Always gluten-free. Those tots were fucking good. The tauts, I would say, were perfect. They were cooked to perfection. We all ate... It was so crispy and on the outside. It's so soft on the inside.

We all ate the fries first and we're like, oh, it's pretty good. We ate the tots and it was like, well, that's... I mean, like, what's the point of these? It's so much better. Yeah. Yeah, it really is. And it's even easier to fucking eat with a fork. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though the bacon's too big and crispy, it's like, you know, it's easy to get. How dare you? How dare you? Watch your mouth, son. You think that'd be crazy to say the Papa Burger? Oh, he's monkey burger. You know what I said when he walked off?

I think this is when I said it. When he walked off and we just kind of stare at each other, I went, he's not like this at home. Like, he's just on another level now. Like, I can't imagine living with that forever. Like, there's no way he's doing this Nick Antig. at home, like to his wife. Yeah. The way... This is the way he just contradicts everything here.

Specifically, it's 100% eat Nick. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Because... In regulation, he's waiting in line. What's the line? Oh, we're going to fuck up the guy at the front. Who's up front? He's in the low to the ground, though.

Some guy with a shirt that doesn't say tall on. He's behind the door and he's so low to the ground. Dude. I remember... I remember waiting in line. you could just like you could just berate the guy you didn't have to wait in line 30 minutes

Eric's become food truck cold yeah back in old Austin you could just insult the guy and keep going it takes 20 minutes now I got wait in line remember we worked at rooster keith Gracie was normal and Nick was closer to normal and now we're here he admits it finally he ended the free

finally home of the freaks all right all right Jesus you know Jesus fucking crazy. Okay.

Quote, nothing brings Texans together quite like football and burgers. Said Hat Creek founder and CEO. Drew Greshit. He said it at a release. Just a release. He just released it.

We're all in on sharing for the horns this weekend. And if they pull off a big win, we'll be ready to fire up the grills and celebrate right alongside our fans. What if they don't win? We're not making you shit. We're close. What do you think this was like posted?

So that, That was like their newest press release, and it was from like, when does college football season start? September? Yeah, it was right around. Yeah, it was, it was right around then.

Oh, and they lost to Ohio State. Yeah, remember that. Mm-hmm. They won at the end. Not that game. They won the ball game.

Oh, are they in the playoffs? No. But neither is Ohio State, bitch. Yeah. Yeah, fuck you. Ohio State famously losing in the playoffs was a better outcome. Listen, you know, you know, us three Ohio State fans.

Okay, I gotta stop reading. Are you, I can't believe you're reading ahead. These are so good. Well, I'm reading ahead. I'm getting ready. We're almost there. Well, we have our review of Hatt Creek. I also didn't realize the first sentence is the whole thing.

Michael, I think you should read the first one because we have our review of Hatt Creek, but we need to hear from you. In a second we call you review. Michael, I definitely think you should read the first one. Okay. I think you already has. Jordan, don't look. I'm not looking.

MC says Don't bother with the Fies Eglar or sweet potato As die wimpy and flavorless D. Y Does his R Does the R not work

Because there's no Arn fries No no no but there's an R in regular Oh yeah he's got the Rthian Wait there's an Arn bother You could have said EGula Don't bother with the Fies

Dash Eglar or sweet potato Dash as die Wimpy and flavorless Is it supposed to be ass dry Was dry Oh He cracked the coat He did he probably wrote it

Wimpy fries Wimpy Yeah wimpy little bitch fries This next one's a little longer Yeah sorry but Oh my God It is worth it It looks like the punctuation is good

Which is usually a bad side Yeah, it means they think they're witty. Uh-huh. Oh, Jordan, go for it. Yeah, this is Courtney W. The W stands for witty. This restaurant is odd and poorly run. After driving past it for ages and thinking nothing but obvious former Arby's.

What the fuck does that mean? Because they have a hat logo? I heard they had some sort of fried pickle happy hour. Stupid name and post-Arby's architecture aside. Barn. There is just no way I can say no to that. Smart marketing. What?

You're an idiot. You got me with the pickles. So we drive up and I think to myself that it doesn't really look much like an Arby's anymore. What? So here's a big reason I picked this is she really fascinated with the Arby's aspect of a thing that has nothing to do with Arby's.

She totally made up the fact that it was a former Arby's. It was like, huh. Yeah. It doesn't really look like a former Arby's. All the same people don't work. Maybe I'm wrong about this being a former herbees. It's walking into a CarMax and going, well, this isn't like GameStop at all. Like, what are you talking about?

It's sort of stylish. Hip. I begin to get excited about pickles. Christ. Not even halfway through. My husband and I go to the drive-through. The cashier couldn't hear us and the box was making a loud ringing noise. Whatever, I can deal.

We repeat our order three times. We wait. eventually we are told to drive up to the window. We wait. We pull up to the window. I'm confident that pickles are imminent. I am then informed that the fried pickle happy hour is only applicable for dying in. My husband and I exchange a look and decide that we like pickles that much.

There's another right here that's like calm down with the pickles, you guys. We ask him to put the order in and tell him we will walk around to pick it up. He says, okay, and slabs the window closed. I ignore his attitude and focus on the pickles. The pickles keep you centered. Being lazy, I wait in the car while my husband goes into pickle. Excuse me, to pick up. I watch the events unfold inside.

There are two couples with small children ahead of my husband. Children are everywhere. It looks loud. He waits. The front cashier doesn't have the order. My husband points at the drive-thru guy, literally eight feet away. Front cashier frowns and shakes his head. After 10 minutes or so, the food comes out.

The order is wrong. A manager is eventually summoned, apologizes, and corrects the order. I found out later that he also gave us vouchers for two free shakes. I assume that they are only good for dining or subject to some other stupid rule. So we probably... What are you complaining? More probably won't be back. And the worst part...

The pickles were not great. Not horrible, but definitely not worth the 25 minutes or kindergarten atmosphere. All right. Shut up. What the hell is she talking about? Dude, this place looks great. It's stylish and hip. The kids look loud.

They look loud. I mean, it is loud or it isn't. They look loud. Bitch, you don't even go inside. Are you guys talking about the... You just sat outside complaining from the fucking car. Also, the 25 minute wait, mostly you're doing. So I'm confused.

Is this an Arby's? Dude, count how many times the word Arby's and Pickle? She stops talking about Arby's and starts talking about Arby's and starts talking about pickles the way she was talking about Arby. It is definitely more concerning of the two things that like she's so fixated on the pickles. She's like all of the pickles so much. Also, this could have been a third of this. Oh yeah.

And had the exact same information. Why is she talking about Arby so much? But not even just that. Just the way she's structuring her sentences. Like pickles are imminent. Whatever. I can deal. Shit like that is just overflowing in here.

Just tell a fucking story. I'd be, you get excited about pickles. I tried to go to the drive-thru and I wanted the pickles. They said they got to come inside for the pickles. So my lazy ass sat outside and my husband went in to get the pickles. I don't like kids. It looks loud.

The pickles were okay. That's what you fucking said. All of this for a one star review is crazy. All of that for a one star review where the pickles weren't horrible. Right. They were fine. One star. It reminds me.

What the fuck? We were looking at the reviews for the tire guy. Yeah. It was a 4.9. They had like perfect ratings. One one star. And we were like, food was okay. Yeah.

This guy who changed my tire Looked like he worked at an Arby's Guy was great, showed up at an hour Looked at me funny But it was good Dude I just This review is Something

A long review that is needless And winding And they think they're so smart right Yeah You complained about getting free shake coupons Right Like didn't even Okay if you left it like

If they left it like doesn't matter, I'm not going to come back. Yeah, fine. But it was like, there's probably some catch or some other bullshit. Right. It's just like, so you don't know that there is. You're just probably only good for dining, I bet. I don't know. A pickle happy hour?

Who would ever think that's a drive-through thing? Also, what the fuck is a pickle happy hour? Nick, explain. They're like a dollar off probably? Yeah. Yeah, hey, you nailed it. The pickles are perfect. Sure.

I don't know. You ever been to Arby's? Man, I want more tots, but I want fresh tots. Yeah, I hear you. Yeah, I know. I was thinking about that too. They're probably nice and steamed. Hey, don't worry, we're gonna be getting queso in just a little bit. That's true. You should bring one of yours and then you can compare them. No?

Okay. It was either thinking or how dare you? Okay. And it was like, that's my at home case. I thought he was upset. I thought it was that's my at home case sale. I couldn't tell. I thought it was anger. It was contemplation.

I started reading the next point. Okay, yeah. Sorry, let me fire into this. Go ahead. This is from Sloan H. or is it? My name is Scarlett and I'm 10 years old. When I was nine

I went to Hat Creek. Their burger patties were dry and dense. Their buns were soggy and their fries soggy and some were burnt. They also messed up my order. Immediately I started getting thirsty. And when I went to bed,

my mom tried to pour some water on my lips when I was asleep but my dad took the water and guzzled it down. I turned out, we all got really thirsty. I will never go back to Hat Creek again. 11 exclamation marks

Is your dad Sloan? Sloan age. My name is Scarlet When I was nine. What the fuck? I'm 10 years old. When I was nine. Why are you writing this? What is this? Dude, when the What the hell is this? I hate when the fries are soggy and I immediately get thirsty. Oh, is that your problem? My problem is when my mom pours water on my

lips when I'm asleep of my dad takes the water and guzzles it down. From off your lips? What does that even mean? I feel like there's something sinister. There's something sinister at play with Scarlet. Right? Like, this is a cry for help, right?

I took the water and guzzled it down. This is a cry for help. Or she got confused and this was all a dream. Guys, we ate salty food and we all got thirsty. My mom pours water on my lips when I'm asleep. What the fuck are you? talking about.

What are you talking about? Just to moisten my lips. This is... That does something is sinister. This is the best thing is a foot. This is the best show in the world because no one would know that anyone else wrote this and we're bringing it to them.

Bringing this to life. Really is the public. We should get the Nobel Peace Prize. We should. We should. Or that FIFA one. It seems like they're just giving that to anyone. That used to mean something. If you're not careful, I'm to pour water on your lips while

you're going to... Michael's going to... I'm gonna guzzle it all down. And then we'll all be thirsty, except for me, because I'll have guzzled it down. But I'm asleep. Right. We'll tell you about it tomorrow. Anyway, anyway, someone helps Scarlett.

What's happening? Somebody help her or Sloan. Right. Is Scarlet and Sloan the same person? Water on my lips on the same. What the fuck are you talking about? Hey, do her lips dry? I'm gonna pour some water.

You better not because she. Honey, you pour water on it, I'm going to guzzle it down. If you try to pour water in her lips, I'm going to guzzle it right down. She's sleeping. It was like an interception. You were like, no, I'll do it. See, I think it was pouring from a height and dad slipped right in there anyway. He was so close to the ground.

That's going to make a lot of sense in about a week. Yeah, on a different show. Right, it won't make that much sense. Don't worry, they all listen to that one too. Oh, man. Oh, fuck. I'm okay with them listening to that one more than that one listening to this. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's true You guys can go over there But don't bring them back with you Okay, right, yeah Like I don't care Watch out with, they'll tag along Who you hang out with But I care who you bring home

Yeah, is what I'm saying Yeah, you can go to their house They're not coming around Right, I don't want those fucking delinquents over here Yeah, they smell, they smell weird Those 42 year old kids Oh, somebody, when I was talking about

My tire blowing out in the Discord And so someone was just like Man, it's like, it's bullshit. Why wasn't he? filming. I wish this happened on the ride along and someone else was like, how dare, it's like, I agree, how dare he had just blot this tire on his own? What is, what does he think he's doing this for? And I was just like, it's too good again. Right. Yeah. It's struck in. It's making me, Matt. It's making me thirsty. I had to do that too. We're like, you're being in

the other podcast. We're like, they were like being too good at joking about like, oh, sending in stuff into 100% for Eric to give to Jeff. And I was just like, guys, I know we're all joking. But I do need to reiterate. Don't do that. Yeah. Just want to be clear. Uh-uh. And that's where we're at. But those are your reviews. Don't do it. Yeah. But I still laugh when I have it. Right. I'm not encouraging it. I'm just telling you it makes me laugh. He hates it. Because it's a dumb ass thing to do. You're an idiot. And it won't make it over there. You're an idiot. It will not make it over. You throws it away or throws it in the corner. We have a bunch of shit downstairs that's just thrown in the corner. That's not from the show. I ain't old ago. Which makes it even funnier to

because I watched you get mad and then I also watch you just throw their thing away. Hey, give this to Jeff. No. It just goes in a corner. Very clear about that. Very clear.

Jeff can come here to get it. Yeah. Well, he'll wake him up. He'll get it. He'll follow the trail. Well, the next time I'm pouring water on his lips. Oh, yeah, Nick's not there to fucking intercept it. Guzzle it down.

Do you think that water's getting anywhere close to Jeff? Creedy little thing. Nick, you're another person that's created other people in this room. You know, a lot of times, especially newborn. you're like watching the baby. Like, oh,

I said, did you ever once, now again, you know, she's 10 years old. Well, she was nine, nine at the time. When this happened,

did you ever think at any point you needed to put water on your lips of, of your child while they were sleeping? No. Their lips look dry, I guess. Water doesn't help.

That makes it worse. Yeah. Right. You're right. I'll get the chapstick. Drop, drop, drop. What the fuck? Fuck.

Oh, that was such a good one after the second one, too. That was so weird. I do like when there's like some sort of like subplot where it's like, well, hold on here. It's either an unreliable narrator or the narrator is too reliable. Like Scarlett might be in danger. Dude, the woman with schizophrenia. I forgot. I forgot.

Maybe her mom is Courtney. Yeah. I forgot because it was so long ago when you got done reading this thing. I didn't understand right from the beginning, but this restaurant is odd. Yeah. What is that even if she didn't go into any detail, but then talked about like how hip and fun it looked.

It's odd. Which is it? It's odd because she thought it was an Arby's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the odd part. Like she has this preconceived notion as like, what place would ever become burning, I think? Yeah, I don't remember.

It probably could have been an Arbys before. Yeah. Fuck, man. It's just, obvious former Arbys. Dude, is Lucy's still there? Okay. Well, those are your reviews, but we have our review of Hat Creek's, Koso fries, and Koso Tots.

Jordan, we'll start with you. That Creek's not bad. $75. Pretty good burger. But we're reviewing these guys. I saved the good call getting grilled onions and I followed. Oh, yeah, that was cool. Hey, and the cashier really came through.

He's like making sure it was your burger. And on the receipt, they tell you one, two, three, and it matches to the burger. Yeah, that's great. I think they do that at Tories too. Do they? Man, it's great. What a great. They stole it from Patrick.

I did. I also forgot, though, because it was minor amongst everything that was going on. I did enjoy you over and over again, telling, not me, to order the food yourself.

You say it. You say it. You say it. I've ordered the thing that we need. And now it's, and now it's just you guys. I almost did it on purpose. I'll let it slide.

Nick's already inside your brain. He just like fingernails into your brain. He just, he just, pushing your gray parts. It's, it's ASMR but painful. So I don't, ASMR that hurts you.

I don't think the fries were dye or wimpy. No, I agree. They were flavorless. Yeah, if they were seasoned, I don't know where the seasoning ended up. Yeah, usually in this kind of format too, they won't season them because they're like, well,

they're going to get covered in slop anyway. Yeah. But it does make a difference. I agree. And the fry version of this is definitely the lesser of the two. Oh, yeah. The tots one is amazing. Tots are great.

The tight flavor, great crisp. Tots were stellar. Just get the tauts. Just get the tauts. Well, you don't even need the bacon and the green jillies. I'm not even like a tot guy. I'm not anti-tod. Yeah.

I'm not like, I'll get sides. I will get fries as a side just because it's standard. The only time I'll swap out is if like Waterberg always get onion rings because they're fucking onion rings. I do that at top notch. I will never find myself ordering tauts. I don't know. Like I eat them if they're there.

I would absolutely order the tots over the fries. They're fucking good. Yeah. And then the bacon was. You know, some would say perfect. Careful. Careful. Careful.

I thought I was old too crispy. Some would say too big. Someone would say perfect. Yeah. So it's really, you know, whoever's the opinion you want to trust. I don't care. And as a result of it being too crispy, I don't think it gets a lot of flavor. It just creates texture.

And then you add the cheese. The queso is actually pretty good. The queso was pretty good. Yeah. It is looking at it, I literally, I was like, 50-50. Yeah. Sometimes you can see it shit. You can tell what shitty queso looks like.

And this could have been that. It's very, very good. We were close. It's pretty good. We're flirting with disaster. Yeah. But we're okay. It's much better than say,

Chipotle trash. So, which is awful. You were saying that if this was Chipotle caseo, you'd be going crazy. Oh my God, I'd get it every time.

Yeah. Like I said, I don't think it's as good as Torchise thing now we're going later. But it's not bad queso. Yeah. It's good. I'd eat it.

I'd get that. Like, that's how bad Chipotle is. I don't get the case. I get fucking cheese on everything. everywhere. I get cheese. He wants the 5x cheese. I want 5x cheese. Yep.

2028. So what do you think? Pretzel. What do you think, Jordan? Between the two of them, kind of evens out. 66. 66.

And Michael, what do you think? I think that's pretty fair. Man, if it was just the tots. If they didn't offer the fries and it was the tots, it could be high 80s. Yeah. I would say, honestly. I don't know.

I mean, I guess I have to rate it. would feel, I don't even know, is it allowed to give like a hundred for a tot? It's just like, it's not enough of a food. I feel like there's like a cap. If we were doing like tot rankings, that's definitely a hundred there. It's not a 100 food for the show, but it's a 100 tot. That's true. It is a 100 tot.

Yeah. And I never had the burger, which I'm not really rating, but it was pretty good. It was not a bad burger. Again, I just think of like, I'm not, I don't think. It was the little one. Yeah. Which was like a. A normal sized burger?

It was just a regular burger. Yeah. It just wasn't a double. Yeah. Oh, I see. My metric now for burgers, especially places that I haven't been to before isn't compared to good ones. It's compared to shit.

Because we eat so much shit burgers. Is it better than fucking A&W? God, absolutely. Like, that's my new metric. Forgot about it. I just go, oh, it doesn't taste like shit. It doesn't taste like cafeteria food or shit.

So it's pretty good. But I'm with you. I'd give it a... 64. 64. Well, that's an average rating of 65. He did the math. Yeah, and I agree.

I would say the restaurant has a higher rating. Yeah. In general. Just talking about the size. This is because the fries are in. This is fairly slop food. Yes, oh, it's slop food.

The, if the fries... 60-something is pretty good for soft food. It is. Yeah. For a fast food thing. Yeah, because this isn't like your main thing. Like, Chipotle slop is entree slop. This is side slot.

There you go. Me and Nick were talking about it. Like, if I just went and I got this, myself, like the tots or whatever, I'd house the whole fucking thing. Even with the crispy giant bacon. But that's the review of Hat Creek. If you're in Texas, I think you should go out of your way and check it out. They're only in Texas and there's fucking 24 of them.

There's 24. It's crazy. That's so many, dude. It's all up and down 35 and then like a couple out towards like Houston. That's a lot here. Yeah. Yeah. That's how many.

There's like three or four. And then you go around like Flugreville and Round Rock. There's more. All over the place. They keep opening. Oh, there's one in the huddo, I think. Yeah. They just keep opening them.

And it's like, I think for the prices that they charge, they're going to be making money because it's fucking expensive to eat it at Greek. But it's good. It is expensive. Yep. And hey, if you want to check out pickle happy hour.

Yep, get the pickle happy hour. It's dining only. And don't fucking complain. Otherwise, these assholes will give you two free shake coupons. Yeah. And we're going to put water on your fucking lips. No, we're going to put water on your kids. Yeah.

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