100% Eat - Crust-Lovers Died on the Crust %% Pizza Hut New Hut Crust

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Pizza Hut "redid" their crust. We don't believe it. It's got some seasoning. These crustlovers wouldn't know a good crust if it came up and kicked them. This place is more messed up than that looney tunes skunk, dude. Are you a Buster for Hut? Or are you a Buster for Lola? Bustin makes us feel good. New beanie, new magnet, & NEW SHIRT this FRIDAY! https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to 100% Eat the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-ist, Jordan, how are you? We were talking just before we start rolling about how. Yeah, it's a little, just a little off. And, like, it's always tricky to be in that state of mind when you're literally about to do a podcast or talk about show. Sometimes you eat good food. It makes you tired.

Sometimes you eat good food and it makes you tired. And at the end of the episode, find out what we think. This is a bad tire for sure. Pizza Hut sucks. I'm grading this one. Talking about the old pizza hot. Yeah, he, everything is new now.

Right. New and approved. I guess I just wasn't ready for noon and improved pizza hut, question mark. Be nice like Gracie. Be nice like Gracie. She can't have any negativity today. I don't know. I don't know pizza hut anything.

I get tired after I have like good barbecue. Yeah, so that's like a good time. That's the like, oh, I ate so much. I'm kind of sweating a little bit. I'm ready to take a nap. This food is mostly befuddling. And I think it like sapped a lot of my energy as I was thinking about what the fuck we were doing eating this. Because this was strange.

When we were breaking down. What? When we were breaking down the slices. No, we were breaking down. Yeah. When we were breaking down the slices and what was wrong with it, it was like, I've never had pizza like that before. It was like eating. It is new. It's definitely new.

Wow, they did it. It's almost like having pizza at a bowling alley, but I think that's like derogatory to the bowling alley. I like bowling alley. Yeah. Yeah. This was like... It's what I took a bite of the cheese one. It was like, I've had better like school cafeteria pizza. Jordan Square. Again, not getting

into spoilers. Right. But like, guys don't ever believe the scores on this. I had, I had a Totinos that was better yesterday. Was that the one that jammed your tooth? No, that was a salami sandwich. It was a sandwich. There was no jamming. It just popped right out. He's calling you full now.

One of my teeth broke in half. I'm simply trying to segue. And I'm like that. Eric and I have opposite mouth. We do. We're like mirrors. Yeah. You guys definitely are missing teeth.

Yeah, we're just missing teeth. I would say like opposite is me having all my teeth. No. Opposite mouth side. No, we have mirror. We have mirror teeth. Right. Here's a better word.

Yeah, we have mirror teeth. Yeah. You guys are definitely mirrors of each. Yeah. Welcome to your future. Yeah, exactly. Don't look at it. Just don't look at them. I don't think so. Are we doing a Dorian gray thing here? I think pizza might be doing the Dorian great thing and sucking our energy as we eat it. Are you Dorian graying me? This is, I think I'm the painting. You're definitely gray.

Yeah. Yeah. What's the fuck. Being Dorian grade the whole time. He's getting he's getting ripped. His hair's getting darker. It is. It's getting darker. It is. Look. Look, it's almost the same color as this brand new beanie. Wow. Where do you get that? Jordan gave it to me.

Oh, where can we get that? 100% eat dot stores. In place you can get a box that comes with the shirts in it. And. And tall shirt. You want to be a tall guy? Guys, is it working? Did you think maybe for a minute that Eric was tall?

Tall, tall he is. I love it. You know who should be wearing that shirt? Alan Richardson would look really good. Yeah. Been talking about it. Are you talking about the, yeah. I don't know him from anything else.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's all he did. I literally don't. I've not seen anything else, Alarich. That's impossible. I've seen two things that Alarges just said. I've seen laser team and I've seen beat up the neighbor. Have you seen?

Oh, I love that one. I love that one. I love that one. Where? Which one? He's in the newest one. I didn't see that one. Oh, he was like the, he's like, uh...

He's the guy standing in the green screen room the whole movie. Is it is. It is. It's like some sort of nebulous, like, government thing. And he just standing in the, is clearly in a green screen. Is he right next to Ice Cube? Oh, in the War of the World?

The War of the World. Hell yeah. That's a similar thing. It's him like watching on like monitors. Yeah. And they have like, they have like movie camera like feeds. Yeah.

It's like they're tapped into the DP. They're tapped into the Ari Alexa. They see every scene. Yeah. It's, he's there. So he doesn't drive car in that one. I don't think he drives a single car. Does he drive?

Does he drive? Motorbike? No, no. Does neighbor try to stop him? I think he drives a lot. Neighbor does try to stop him. He makes sure neighbor is stopped. Yeah, he's going to team up in the next one with Vin Diesel and they're going to get his neighbor.

Hell yeah. Family. They're going to drag a big magnet through his neighbor's house. That one I did say. Hell yeah. I was going to say it was watching, seeing, when I first saw the clips of him in Reacher. Yeah. I was like, who is this man?

Giant guys. did not look like Alan Ritson. He just got so buff. And then we saw him, we threw Laser Team on a couple weeks ago on 2B. He just looks like a totally different version. He's a, he looks like the guy that knew him.

He's got, yeah, he's twice as white. Yeah. This is the same. Everything else. That's it. Yeah.

Have you seen anything about his new movie on Netflix? No. Is it good? He plays a military guy who's joining like the Army Rangers. I know. And then they get sent on like this mission suddenly. And I'm not joking. Greenland, Greenland, Greenland.

He fights a metal gear. Oh, that's cool. Oh, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, Adam from Laser Team versus Shagohad. Whoa, cool. So crazy. And there's a guy, he's a Russian guy and he can control electricity. You're pretty good.

It was, it, I don't know what the movie is. I don't know anything about it other than I've seen a bunch of clips on TikTok where it's him going up against a metal gear. Huh. It's so crazy. What's it called? I don't remember. Netflix. Netflix?

Netflix vehicle for him. Metal gear? Metal gear. Metal gear. Behind D. Yeah. He wrote a Rathropist. He wrote Watchman, didn't he?

The Wally-L-L-L-O? Whoa! Now we're talking. Darpathief. What did you said? Didn't he write The Watchman? Oh, David Hater, yeah. The voice of solid.

He did. He did, yeah, he did. He did, he did X-Men. One of the X-Men. I think you're right. Might have an X-Men two. Not three. No.

I don't think anybody wrote three. Three. I think Chris Damarist style. They showed up, Chris Damaris style, and he just went, guys, guys, guys, I just, I've been up since five, eight. I just, I woke up and I wrote this, and then here you go. And they went, okay. And then someone was there that kept screaming, stop telling me that. That's not good.

That's not good. Stop telling me that. Was it Magneto? Yeah. Magneto. But they did. He got dragged through Ellen Richardson's neighbor. Well, he didn't have any direction for Magneto.

Magneto had to make up his whole character on the fly day of shooting. No prior conversation needed. So it all worked out. It's all good. Hey, what do we eat today? The Pizza Hut, new hand-tossed crust. So we talk a lot of here first. We talk a lot of shit on Pizza Hut because, rightfully so, they suck.

And we owe them nothing. Gracie style. And one thing we compare them a lot. to is like at their nadir, dominoes like totally reinvented themselves, came out with a new recipe, righted the ship, and now like they're arguably the best, like, their growth year on year has been really stellar. And, you know, they taste good and they're solid. So pizza hut we've been saying needs to do something like that.

And they finally did it. They have a new crust. They started with new crust. They didn't just do whole new pizza. They were like, let's start with crust. You know what they should have done? The sauce is coming later. Now, I am thinking they should have done a whole new pizza.

I'm thinking they should have just done. Throw out the baby with the bathwater. Do whole new pizza. My idea. New baby, new pizza. Papa John's. My idea. Oh, no, no, no.

Sorry, I got confused. So you're talking about a white baby. To be clear. And he's bringing the day of reckoning. That's what he's doing. The baby's doing. That's biblical. Yeah.

That's biblical. Yeah, this is, oh, go, goo, go. I've been playing Resident. Gone, gone. And I think that's what this is about, but I haven't figured it out yet. Oh, oh, I'm excited. I thought that was Death Stranding. Wow, that's pretty cool.

I think that straining is all a dream on the beach. I'm not really sure about that. Oh, that's the second one. Okay, cool. It was all a dream? Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut is a confounding thing because it's owned by Yum Brands, which also owns like KFC and Taco Bell.

And KFC is such a fucking mess, but Taco Bell seems to have it so figure out. And it's the same company. It must be a thing where Taco Bell is, pretty like insulated from the rest of the overarching. Oh, they're just hiding like achievement hunter. Yeah. They keep moving. They keep moving so that you can't find them.

So you were saying that you would. I want to go to the pizza hug guy. Where'd he go? You really didn't get a lot of notes, huh? So you were, it was pretty away from everything. That's interesting. This is the Gremlin room. I don't do notes.

I did also mention when we were going to go get this, that I was suspecting that this was going to be a different, but not better situation, kind of like back in rooster tea when we would get notes and the note would be like, just make it different. But didn't make it better though?

No, but that's my note. But it's different. Yeah, but I gave a note. But I give notes and now it's different and I had my input. What am I supposed to do if I don't give notes? Exactly. I go to meetings, I give notes.

Yeah, some would say, I'd do nothing. Yeah. Many would say that, I think. I think people are still saying it to this day. And I think that you're, I think that your analogy is pretty right because they changed the crust. I guess

I couldn't tell you what It's not I can't wait till we get to the part Where they explain what's new about Right Because I could not tell you I feel like I'd have to have an old one Next to a new one

To be able to fully tell Domino's when they changed it It was like This is totally totally different Even if it wasn't better It's totally different This is like It's different I guess

This is like Like I feel like I believe you that it's different But I couldn't really tell you Yeah We got two different pizzas. We got a cheese and we got a pepperoni. The cupped pepperoni that we did on the one

was like, oh, this is like a little strange with this pizza, but whatever. Stop kicking me, man. Well, you're stretching out, man. The cheese pizza. What are you doing? My one, now I'm stretching it in his way. Oh, my legs are back here. I'm tall. I'm keeping my foot out straight ahead. Yeah. Me and Michael were really breaking down that cheese pizza. And I looked at it and I thought what you thought, I just didn't say it. Yeah. And then you said it. And I was like, I was thinking the Same thing. There was a point I was eating it and I just went like this.

And I was looking at from the profile. You can see just so many defined layers. Yeah. It was like lasagna. Michael was like it's like they made. And then you put another pizza on top of it. Yeah. It's like it's a bigger pizza.

He said that it's like they baked the whole pizza and then it was done. And then they put the cheese layer on at the very end. Like a plate of pizza. Yeah. They cut a cheese. They cut cheese into a plate shape and place the. on top. Yeah, that's what it looks like.

And that, hey, hey, and that's how it tastes and that's how it feels when you bite it, when you can bite it and you feel your teeth go through the layers. It's bizarre. It's so strange. Did you use your front teeth? I used my front teeth. I ate it rabbit style. It's always got.

We know mirror teeth, so I know chewing on the back, you got to move it to one side than the other. You eat it rabbit style. That's easy. It's so weird because Michael took a bite of the pizza and went, is there sauce on this and then took another bite and went, oh, there it is. And it's way back

there. Pockets. It's so strange. And yeah, where all of the new crust is, because it's not throughout the rest of the pizza. It's not throughout the rest of the pizza. It's not throughout the rest of the pizza. You can taste it too. Yeah. I thought for sure new crust would be whole pizza because, you know, crust also on bottom. Crest is on bottom, but they didn't do anything different with that.

Even like turning it over. It's just fat crust. It's just back. Yeah. Which makes me think they didn't really do anything new with the crust. I think they just added something. I think they brushed it and put some seasoning on it and that was it. But the seasoning was like, what, what happened? The whole thing, Pizza Hut, we might have to have a conversation about Pizza Hut being on this show going forward. It's very confusing.

You think there's going to be any resistance if we, if we bring up the option of banning Pizza Hut? The thing is, the thing is. All of our days better. Honestly, I don't even think it's like impactful enough to deserve a ban. I think we just stop eating it. You know what I mean? Yeah, like just kind of like taking it out of the rotation, but it's not really like an outrage. It's like, we should just stop going there.

I kind of like that. I kind of as an insult. Because like Jack in the Box. A band is like, how dare you? Jack in the Box. Pizza, it's like, we knew it was going to suck. Right. You'll find out if it did.

Yeah. Wait and find out. Don't go anywhere. I know you're on the edge of your seat. And you're right about when we banned Jack in the Box. We were mad at show. We were outright mad at them. Well, we're also a little mad at you, but me?

Definitely you. No, no. This is, I'm a, I'm a spicy. tall guy in my red shirt. Speaking of my red shirt. Speaking of spicy, how about those wings? Yeah. The only spice on the wings was, chicken balls! I'm gonna have to

You guys want some chicken balls! I'm gonna have to drive home with my windows down. Yeah. The stink of those wings was crazy. It took like no time for it to start filling up to the car. Yes. I mean, it was hitting me outside, but I was holding the box. And at first it was like, whoa, those are kind of pung it. And then it was like, okay, this is getting out of control.

It was like 30 seconds later, it was like, We gotta get the smell out of here. It was crazy, but don't worry. If you only wanted like one wing, that's fine. You can have some French fries. All right. And that's, honestly, I don't even put that on pizza. I put that on you.

They sell it because that's part of their box. So is that what comes in the hut box, no matter what, is wings and fry? You can get chicken balls and potato slices. It's an entree and a side. Balls and sticks. You guys want some balls and sticks? So the entrees are boneless wings, bone in wings, and then like, what's the flatsa that was folded over? Oh, yeah.

They have those. Yeah. The sides. The pizza pockets. Yeah, it's those things. Sure. The sides are fries, four more boneless wings or four more bone in wings. So yeah.

You should try to bone in. Did you hear when you said, by the way, you were like, they got bone-in wings? They got Bonin. Did you hear him go? You got boneless? They're always nuggets. I heard you. Yeah.

Thank you. I don't think the Bonin was going to do anything. We'll never know. Well, yeah. We'll never fucking know. Yeah. We'll never go back. We might have to go back.

Ignorance is bliss in this case. We'll never go back. We just talked about never going back and we said we might have to go back. But I said, we'll never go back. Listen, open your ears, tall man. As Gracie said, you're a grown ass man. You can take yourself whenever you want.

It's true. You don't have to ask your parents. go to Outback Steakhouse like Gracie. They got mad and jealous that Gracie's going outback. She's like, I'm going outbacker my parents. No one asked. Just sharing. It wasn't just, it was no one asked, but sharing.

And then Nick got jealous and mad. And then we let Gracie know. And then Gracie, Gracie. Well, then the whole saga of like Nick hating the punch the monkey and all this stuff. And like, Gracie being like, just like over it. She's like, whatever. Yeah, she's not having fun with it anymore. She wasn't really having for.

And then she just said, I don't have time for negativity today. Which I thought was really funny. Dude, sent her a picture of the Cinebonds in the car less than 20 seconds. Yeah, we were in the ride along. We were like, how long? We were estimating. She had a meeting? How long do you think it'll be?

I said it doesn't matter. I was like under a minute, man, under a minute. 20 seconds, maybe. Maybe. You can time it. Crazy. Crazy. From when Michael says, it sent to, she just replied.

Oh, she's typing. Yeah, it was maybe 15. Typing might have been 15 seconds. Dude. It was a little bubble. It was crazy. She loves those little. She thought it was old, too.

She's like, this is a new picture? I thought you were giving me a stock photo. From the fault. We do send her a picture of it every time we go. That's why I get him. Because I want Gracie to know that we're eating him and Jordan could eat all 10 if you wanted to. Oh, no. What's wrong?

I was looking at the last one. Oh, yeah. Why don't you? Hey, do you want to get into the facts? You're talking about the flats? Our last Pizza Hut episode was September 16th, 2025, or we ate the Pizza Hut flats. It received an average rating of eight. Yikes. Similar editorializing.

Remember it was flatsas? They were just flat. Yeah. It was not anything like. No, it's flat. Flatson makes more sense. Again, it's just, they're just like, they're just coming up with ideas not to make the food better.

They're just like, here's how you can eat pizza in a new different way. Do you think that Pizza Hut is just doing like pizza by committee and like these ideas are just like think tank ideas? Is this the committee running the Trump Kennedy Center? Right. What committee is this? We're close. Pizza Hut is going to go to two years of renovations. Yeah.

I wish they would. I think they should close now for two years. No one's buying Pizza Hut closed down for two years. Maybe they should send ice to help make the pizza. It's two big fat guys leading on the counterhold. standing behind a guy to gather. Somebody slipping and falling. At least they'd be wearing masks, you know?

They won't be spitting on your pizza. No, no. If they're at a place like that, they're not wearing masks. At the airport, they're not wearing masks. At the Pizza Hut, they will not be wearing masks. They will have their guns and they will stand around on their phones. So it is like they're working at the Pizza Hut. It's not too far off, I guess.

I'm helping. Yeah. You like that? I helped. Hey, let me just make this... Yeah, let me make the situation worse. I'm helping. You can shoot the pizza.

I might make it better. It might. This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch. The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence. And accessing one of the big. data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move.

Pizza Hut and Warner Brothers Discovery Global Consumer Products are bringing bugs bunny and Lola Bunny into the real world during what the brand is calling rabbit season. The Looney Tunes characters will appear at the Pizza Hut stage during the March Madness Men's Final Four tip-off tailgate from April 3rd to 6th. It's a shame rooster teeth isn't around anymore. because this is the most tailor-made time we've ever seen. Who do you think sales would have sent?

I have some ideas. I think Gus would have been asked. Gus would have been asked. He would have said, yeah. Yep, for sure. I think they would have said,

Michael will go, and then you would have said no, and then they would have to send Joe. No, it depends. No, that's too high level. I'd probably have to go to that. I think it would, if it's global consumer products,

this is pretty big deal. Gus would say no, Jeff might do it, Because basketball. And then I'd probably take the bullet because I'd go with Jeff. Can I tell you who would volunteer to go? You.

Chris Damaris, because this is a Pizza Hut brand tie-in and there will be food. And he will get free stuff at the Pizza Hut tip-off tailgate. I don't know anything about basketball or frankly, Bugs Bunny. I don't think they'd send Chris.

No, I think he would volunteer to gun. I think they would politely decline. Exactly. That's Michael, 100%. That would be something you would hear about later is like, I wanted to go. Yeah. Barbara would go to this.

Yeah. Barbara would go to this. Yeah. That's a good way. Who wants to take the hit on this? Jeff, Jeff being basketball fan and going to this makes sense. It has to be someone that they didn't like important enough to go.

Yeah. But then who would take the hit. Yeah. Where is the part of the floor? For me, it greatly depends on who I have to go with to make it less painful. Which Lola Bunny? Right. That's also a very important question.

The hot one. Is it the hot one? Bring her back! Bring her back! It's probably the new ugly one. The woke bunny. The one with the long shorts? Ugh.

Dressed like an and one mixtape. Fuck you. How am I supposed to bust a rabbit? What are you doing? That's what they call me Buster Bunny. Getting so fired up watching a little they call me Buster Bunny. Yeah. Dogs ain't my uncle.

Talking about rabbit season. Oh, man. Wabbit Oh fuck Reported just four weeks ago Pizza Hut is looking to shut down 250 stores in the first half of this year due to declining sales

Quote The Pizza Hut team has been working hard To address business and category challenges Chris Turner chief executive Yum Brand said Don't know why they're closing all these stores When they're sending Daffy Duck

and the horny skunk to the final four tip off tailgate April 3rd through 6 That should fix most of this right Right? Talk about an activation. I think it should be fine. A bunch of people are going to lose their jobs, but the horny skunk is going to go to the final four

and he's going to stand there in a jersey. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's hanging out with Lola Bunny. I was trying to think like they could, they could each put them in a jersey of one of the final four teams. Uh-huh.

You know. That's a good idea, but that doesn't sell merchandise. Nobody wants the skunk on their team. Right. They're all going to be in team squad jersey. Yeah. The skunk will be in a Duke jersey. I was going to say the skunk represent Duke.

Specifically, the lacrosse team. There's something about this horny skunk that really speaks Duke to us. They should really like try and like re-image him. Like have him come out with like a lawyer or something. Oh, you think so? Oh, you think so? Well, they could, I feel like they could get a lot of eyes on it if they turn Pebb

ilipu into like a Harvey Weinstein. Oh. And it's like we're getting rid of him. He's very ill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His dicks all fucked up. What's wrong with this horny skunk? Oh, he ruined careers, this horny skunk. The thing is, like, nowadays, you could get away with horny skunk.

It's like rapy skunk. It is. That's kind of the thing. That's the problem. He wasn't, he was... He wasn't... That's what he does. He wasn't just a wuga.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was... He was... He was grabbing, roping, stalking. Yeah. Real Harvey Weinstein... Jerkoff Lola Bunny picture is not consent. You know?

You do that from the privacy. You bust her bunny from your own home. You don't go out there grabbing her. You just watch from afar. Get the horny skunk out of here. Go to a convention and buy Lola Bunny feet picks. Hand drawn. Yeah.

Directly from the author. Yeah. Support them. Yeah. That's what you do. That's what conventions mostly are now. Just hook the guy up with OnlyFans, man. It's hats that say like Ruby and then like Lola Bunny feet drawings.

And I think that's it. Can I get the? on the same hat? Yeah. I think you can. Can you take off the one, can you take off the letters to say Yang? Can you put Lola Bunny feet on it?

Like just a bunch of feet? Well, the foot could be a Y if they're like spreading toes. Oh, that's pretty cool. A bunny foot with spread toes. And then people are like, so what's with like the Lola Bunny Yang thing? And you just go, I just got hobbies. Yeah.

Just put it all in one bag, maybe. I like to mix my entrance. Yeah. I like to call my juice box. I love. I also like eating pizza and playing basketball. I'm eating a slice shooting hoops. Nobody in that regard is playing basketball.

You're lucky they're watching it. Definitely not playing it. After a lot of stumbling in the UK for the last decade, Pizza Hut has employed creative agencies to refresh the brand. Refresh the food. One proposal to do anything. Refresh the food. One proposal from creative agency Iris

was of a mysterious vertical pizza box that they gave to people in London hoping for a viral moment. They'll do anything but fix their pizza. It's mind-boggling. We will look up and whisper, rethink the way you make pizza, and they'll look down and shout,

Vertical Pizza Box, viral moment! Go bankrupt. For real. It is, what, it is so... What do they mean by vertical pizza box? It is so fucking funny because it's so blatant that it's like fake,

and then they went, look, check it out Pizza Hut, a viral moment. They gave model, like handsome guys and beautiful women, pizza boxes that says vertical pizza box that has a handle on it and then they're like walking down the street

but then also they're like posing, like talking on their phone and then they're filming people walking by looking at the vertical pizza box. Now, how am I supposed to engage with? Now, now here's what they want you to engage with. Because this was all laid out with what they did. they don't have a way for the pizza to be in it.

They don't have a way for it to be a method for the pizza to move. Right. But we're asking questions. Yes, that is all they want. They just go, this is a moment for you to engage with the community who will say, how does this work? And then we go. And what's your answer?

And we go, it doesn't. Yeah. There's no answer. And there's no pizza in it. Yeah. That is the whole. We should just be a creative agency. Here's all you had to do.

I have the answer. How does you go? I already ate it. Yeah. Sorry. It was so good. Vertical pizza just hit so hard. I ate it and I'm keeping this box as a souvenir.

I feel like Iris, your kid, come up with the photo idea. I agree with that. She could also do a drive-laws like make pizza hunt. She could make the vertical pizza box work. Like she'd probably have an answer. Yeah, here's how you could cook it.

It's like a helix or like a spiral pizza. Yeah, you just, you cook it in rectangles and stack them. There you go, yeah. It is just so. It's too hard to figure out a way to do. Do that. It's just so...

In the vertical box. Yeah, you just take a Totina's pizza. Yeah. And you cut it. And then you keep stacking them on top of each other. That might be too good for what we ate today. It's just such a creative agency thing of like, yeah, we're sparking the conversation. It's like, what is this cell?

Nothing. Goodwill. We're just trying to get people to engage with Pizza Hut. Right. But they're not. They're just trying to get paid from Pizza Hut to tell people that that's what they are... That's good, though. That's good.

If at the end of the day. Uh-huh. Say we made. People talked about. I don't think, and the vertical box. But I don't think they did. And what would the number be that would make it a success? A million like posts about it.

Right. And then, and then what? And then what? They're not selling. Then we got them. You don't turn that into money in any way. It is hiring a consulting firm to figure out what's wrong with Pizza Hut. You get pizza on the mind.

And you go, well, they don't have that box. I would be going to get a regular pizza now. I'd be that guy in that meme that's like, Maybe we could make the pizza better. And then I get thrown out the window. Yeah. They're going to get people thinking about Pizza Hut and they'll go, I do want pizza and they'll go somewhere else.

Oh, Domino. Yes. Let's get some Enoes. I had V-S-R-R-N-3 the other day. Never thought about pizza at once. Okay. Someone said, do you want pizza? And I went, let me think of every pizza place I know.

And I didn't think of pizza. Right. Nope. And it wasn't on purpose. Nope. We just don't think about them that much. Yeah. No.

It's real pizza or dominoes is the first question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Do you want like a local joint or like if you don't want that? Dominoes or real pizza? And then someone says real pizza.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Be a three and three. Deli. Home slice. Yep. Or what's a?

Jets. Eastside. Ysai is good. Hoboken. There's no pizza in there. No. It's just this is how much do you think this fucking cost them? How much do you think this fucking cost them?

Do vertical pizza box is also? I think someone. I'm going to. idea. I'm going to guess it cost him $220 million. And it was actually Christy Knoem was in charge of it. Freeple.

And then she shot a dog. That's not even for this. Yeah. She just did that. She just did it again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Different dog. She went time to put myself back in public good graces. Bang. Viral moment. People are going to ask, what's that vertical dog grace? You got a vertical casket going on? Yeah, I shot my dog.

He was barking. One more? One more fat? All right. Pizza Canada has launched a new short form podcast titled Bandwagon Hockey Coach to assist casual fans during the hockey playoffs. The podcast debuted March 18th on Spotify and features two AI hosts. Go out of business. Guys, I volunteer to personally murder pizza. Bandwagon hockey coach.

I've been to their headquarters. I know where it is. I can just destroy all of it. It is. They are, they are just like. a stunning display of ineptitude. There's just nothing here. Why did, okay, so pizza at Canada.

Okay, so hockey national sport of Canada. That's great. Van Wagon and Hockey coach. That's a good idea. Like even if you're sponsored by, like, if every ad is Pizza Hut, uh-huh. Whatever. AI hosts, that's where, like, not only did it like,

oh, you really stumbled down this part of the idea. You made it so bad. I now want you, like, erased from. Yep. The face of the earth. Yeah. Maybe this is the reckoning. If it's the hockey, if it's the hockey playoffs, buy this hat.

There you go. If it's the hockey playoffs. If you're thinking about eating Pizza Hut, eat this hat instead. Eat this hat instead. It's better. Buy this hat and eat it. Why wouldn't they just sponsor other podcasts and be top line sponsors for shows during the playoffs, which is when they are getting.

Because I think like most of the ideas that Pizza Hut's coming out with, they think this is cheaper and therefore better. That is. If they can save money doing something. That's a great idea. That's your, your read might be right on. They didn't do anything to this new pizza

except put a little something on it. That's what you think. Boom. We've just totally reinvented our pizza. We're gonna find out. We're gonna look like a fool. Without doing anything at all. I just,

the same thing with flats. It's like, we need a new item. But we're already making pizza. What if we make pizza? But like, what if we made it? Do it cheap?

How do we make pizza but less? Yeah. And then can we smash it? We have all this dehydrated potato lying around. That's what happened. Let's make some fries. They had the idea for flats, and they ran it over with a steamroller, and then somebody said, my God, it's like Looney Tunes.

And then someone else said, get Warner Brothers on the phone. Send us the horny skunk for the final four. Guys, I just came up with an idea to save pizza. He can run HR. Perfect guy for the job. They should fire their CEO for the job. He'll take you out to lunch. They should fire the CEO.

I was going to have a couple of people. Yeah. Huh? What? What? What are you talking about? They should hire Tasmanian Devil as their CEO. That's cool.

That would be fine. He's popular. He can't do worse. He can't do worse. Yeah. So if it's just commercials. If it's commercials of him. Spinning pizza.

Yeah. If it's commercials of him eating the pizza and he'll eat anything. Yeah. And he's going crazy. Oh, but you know what he won't eat? He won't eat the competitors. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, pizza hut. He loves it. Nobody out pizzas the hut. Everyone goes, oh! His first words. This is great.

You can't talk that much. Dude, this is how pizza the hut. And then he eats more of it and everyone's sense. And then and then Duffin' Duffin' Duffin shows out. I can't do it.

Why is his voice so low? You're still doing Taz. Were you saying? Are you saying he looks at Domino's and says it's despicable? Okay, okay. I couldn't get out. There's a trap. You're stuck in the cell.

Low register. I didn't know how to do it. I got to put it up on the shelf. I just didn't know how to get out of it. I think if the Looney Tunes started doing stuff with Pizza Hut, bro, I mean, it couldn't be worse. You got to be loony if you're eating pizza. Right.

Yeah, no, embrace your loony. Your loony tube. This all makes sense. The coyote is like out a slice of pizza and you're still a sign that says help. Yeah. And it's just him holding the pizza box. It's vertical.

Meat, me, this is. Yeah, he's just running his ass to Dominoes. It's so weird that Warner Brothers is sending Bugs and Lola Bunny for rabbit season when there's not a new space jam coming out. Yeah. Also, rabbit season means you kill them.

Yeah. Rabbit season. Basketball. It's nothing to do with, but like, it's college basketball. What does that have to do with rabbits? Rabbits don't celebrate rabbit season. They fear it.

Yeah. That's why they're trying to say it's rabbit season, duck season. Right. They don't want to get shot. They get their face blasted backwards. This is also. Diffy Duck.

Yeah. A boring mallpane. There is also another promotion going on at Pizza Hut right now. Two for one. But we didn't get it. it because it's not a food promotion in terms of like here's like here's limited time food. It is

Pizza Hut teams up with Space Jam for March Madness 2026 menu drop. That's professional basketball. It is a triple treat box which is just food. Food you can get to watch the game. Yes, exactly. But they have. Do they have any rabbits in there?

They have the rabbit and the bird on it. Oh, it's Tweety. Yeah. And that's so I don't know why space... So they're saying that this is for Space Jam's 30th anniversary. Oh, okay. And if... Okay. But like no one's clamoring for dude. Did you know it's a

30th anniversary for space? No one fucking cares. Yeah. We're in the middle of basketball season. If they wanted to pull that off, they've got to pull in Michael George. They have to. That's that. Then people would care. No, I know. The only thing he does weirdly is go to NASCAR races. Right. That's where he's hanging out. But like Jordan said for

Pizza Hut, doing something cheap means it's better. Warner Brothers is not going to go further. They could. They're not going to. They're doing it as

cheap as possible. So they're going to send Bugs Bunny and the sexy bunny and Chris. It's getting Chris to marry. Hey guys, I got it with another company. They're just like,

they're trying to tell Chris like, I'm actually facing off against rooster teeth. I know I still work there, but I'm here with the other company. You're trying to tell Chris, like, okay, so we're going to animate. the bunny over here and over there.

So pretend he goes, I'm not pretending. I can see. They're talking to me right now. Why is Davy's voice so deep? You go out, just record Chris, have a conversation, and then animate to that. Honestly, that's a good idea for a show. It's not a bad idea for your show.

It's not a bad idea. So I wonder what he's talking to would look like. Yeah, when you draw it. Yeah. What kind of creature he thinks is there? Because there'd be a Chris video and he would just be like, he'd be talking to the camera and then like, he might do something weird, like, kind of like

look over or something and then be like, anyway. And then you just draw like a little bird or something that lays on his shoulder and he goes. Yeah. You make it make sense. Yeah. That'd be good. Yeah, it just, it seems like Pizza Hut and Warner Brothers are a match made in heaven.

Just two corporate two corporate Titans. Do you think like the thought is 90s great pieces Pizza Hut has been around so long Clearly we don't need to invest in Pizza Hut It's already an established brand

We just need to Against all odds We just need to continue to eke out As much as we can Like ring it dry Until eventually They're ringing it All the pizza huts become dominoes

Oh sorry I thought you're talking about Warbrookers I started getting Yeah interesting that you thought that Are they releasing now They're releasing that Acme movie movie, right? Yeah, like August, I think. Yeah. I'm sure there's plenty of time between now and then to not release it. But I don't think it's actually being released by Warner Brothers. No, it's not. I think they found

someone else to do it. Yes. Tax ride off. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what I want. That's how you make $187 million dollars, baby. That's what I want for my entertainment brains. Who was in that? Will Forte? Yeah, Will Forte. John Cena, Wiley County. Odie. Yep. Or I'm just saying, he was like, I'm fucking mad. I'll kill these people. Oh yeah. That movie was so good. John Sina said the same thing. John Sina was like, I loved making this movie and it's a lot of fun.

Like, he loved it. Chris Tamaris was there too and he was like, I saw everything. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I lived it. I was like, it would bother me less if the movie sucked ass. Yeah, yes. It was really good. It makes me fucking mad.

I'm gonna see it now. I'm excited to see it. Yeah, yeah. What is it like? Coyote versus Acme or something is called? Is Acme v. Coyote. Yeah. He's suing him, I think, for not catching the bird.

Yeah, it's selling to make faulty products. Well, like a green flight bat suit and it just, it stops working. But I think he, I think it's user. I think he read the instructions wrong. Yeah, he's not supposed to do that. Yeah. They're jet skates and he put them on backwards. Fool?

Do you think that's going to come up in the film? Are you spoiling the plot? Have you seen it? Chris tell you what it is? Chris told me all about it. He was eating Koso and he went, yeah, and then the next scene it's in their court. And then he just keeps telling me that way. It was the whole way through.

Chris should defend widely coyote in that movie. Oh yeah. I don't know. I don't know who's Will Forte is he's for him or against him. I don't know. If there's a way.

Chris is also there on the defense team. Yeah. He's not on the defense team, but he is in the front row. And he keeps like quiet or like loud whispering like, no. Exhibit three.

I would love to see Chris in court. Not as like a defendant, but like no, because he's indefendable. Yeah. I want to see. him as like a lawyer.

Yeah. Yeah. Just, I think he would do a great job. He'd wear sneakers. He would, he would wear sneakers. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. He would run to court

with his backpack on his arms out. Yes, he would. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the jury's behind you, you're talking about a snographer. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Where's my mark? Sorry,

I was up all night writing this. Stop telling us that. Jordan, You want to teach them about the food? I liked when he kept telling you that. I know you did. That was my favorite part. Tune in May for Camp Betrayal commentary.

Where are my gloves? Come on, heat. Any day now? Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm. Tap the banner to order your groceries online at voila. com. Enjoy in-store price.

without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in store and online, though some may vary. When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim-on-denum was peak fashion, in-line skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to West Jetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at WestJet's dot com slash 30 years. Okay, the Pizza Hut, new hand-tossed crust. You're going to learn about it, Michael. Here it is. Here's what they did. Ready?

They did the following. Hit them with it. The refreshed crust delivers a lighter, airier bite. With just the right balance of softness and crisp, bringing a modern upgrade to a classic while staying true to what fans love most about Pizza Hut. That's what it tastes. What they do? Tell me, I want, I want to bring it.

I want to break something. Tangible, measurable data points of what they did. We used to do shit like that and it'd you went on her and it would break. The audio would stop. Honestly. Like, I'm dead serious. They'd be like, look at the fuse just blew out on the board. Look at the desk.

It's kind of like sagging in the way. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A little bow. What do you mean? I don't know what you don't get. Area by how much? A lighter and arrier.

It's right. Modern upgrade. Was it not the right balance of softness and crisp? It wasn't crisp at all. Their pizza is never crisp. It was so soft. It was so soft and not a good way. It was.

They took, that means they took stuff out. It was soft. It was soft all throughout the pizza and then you get to the crust and you go, it's a little bit stale already. So soft and not good soft. Oh, how'd that happen? What? Who did that?

There would be times where there'd be a recording and the video would break and then you go back and look at the footage like if it didn't get corrupted and it would break at like the slam or like the H-DMI would stop working. Weird that it stopped working right as the hand came down. That's a weird coincidence that keeps happening. I'll just say. Yeah. Not here. Not here. We're still going.

Bitch. Quote. Mr. White. Here we go. Check this out, Nick. Crust is the heart of a great pizza. Heartless bastards. And fans have been asked.

asking for more ways to celebrate it. It's been saying fix it, fix it, fix it. Fix it, fix it. Now, before we keep going, am I hearing correctly? Celebrate it. Like, before we keep going, what the fuck is he talking about? What the fuck does this mean? Crust is the heart of a great pizza.

It is the heart. That's why it's at the end of the pizza. Fans have been asking for more, more. more ways to celebrate. A few isn't enough. We're celebrating crust here. You know we all celebrated? How can we do it more?

Celebrating Christmas. He's still fixing his camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know we don't practice Christmas. Creester's right around the corner. The crust is resurrected. The crust. It has risen.

Passion of the crust This is fucking crazy All right So crust is in the heart Fans have been asking for more ways to celebrate It said Melissa Frebe Chief Marketing Officer at Pizza Hut With Hut crust

That sigh was so big I heard it across the room Hut and crust are both capitalized So this is a new product I imagine With Hut crust We're not only introducing a new hand-tossed recipe that elevates a fan favorite, but we're also offering a $10 large three-topping deal

that gives people real value every time they order. And for those, don't die, Michael, and for those who live for crust. And choked up at the savings. The new hot crust connoisseur is a dream come true, a way to get paid for tasting and loving crust every day. A way to get paid. Yeah, how do I get paid for crust loving?

It's just like their rewards program. You're like the number of one crust lover in North America. Now that feels, when you say it, that feels derogatory and pointed. You're like the biggest fucking crust lover I know. Wow. This guy loves crust. Like that, Krusty? What the fuck is?

We get press material and it's weird. This is out of hand. I love that they say elevates a fan favorite. Part of the pizza. No one's. favorite was this. No one's favorite is their crush. I like that even though.

So like they're saying too in this sales pitch here they're like we're changing it but don't worry. Not that much. It's still going to be just what you know. Half measures. It's a bad part.

But they don't tell you what they changed. I want it to taste not at all like what I knew. We still don't know what's new on it. What are you talking about? It's a lighter, area or bite. It's area. And we're celebrating. And it has the right balance of softness

and crisp. What are you talking about? Do you understand? You don't live for crust. Do you know what an upgrade is? He died for your sins. Climb back up, Nick. He's going to die on the crust.

Well, Zan, go nuts on that, aren't? Just two breadsticks? Yep. 100%. Absolutely. It's their only thing I still like. length there. The bread sticks. The breadsticks have always I feel like

yeah, we got fries. I feel like like you almost died. Imagine if we tried to put all stick down as well. I feel like whatever whatever they would put on those breadsticks is what they instead just put on the crust which would make sense because it's just another thing that they took from another thing. But still not enough of it. No.

There's hardly any. I mean on the pizza we got some of it didn't make it on the crust at all. Some of the breadsticks. Some of it was on the cheese. It's fucking crazy. That was like, I just, this is such a confounding thing to just go, well, we put like some herbs on it and like new crust.

It's the same. They think we're stupid. They probably don't think we're stupid. They think we're a bunch of fucking crust lovers. Yeah. They think everyone who goes to Pizza Hut is stupid. Because they are. They're going to Pizza Hut. They're right.

You've already made a mistake. They're right. Man. My favorite part when we were at the restaurant, picking up the food is when we came out and the guy walked by us smelling like cigarette smoke and then went into the delivery

driver's door. It's because he's just ripping darts in his car while he's bringing you the pizza. Fuck that. Enjoy. Now it tastes like Fazzoli's great. Another fan favorite. Yep. Yep. Yep. Okay. Well, we have our review of Pizza Hut

but we need to hear from you in a segment we call you review. Holy moly. One is lengthy. So whoever reads, one, the other person does two and three. I'll do one. Kylie L.

died right in. One star, absolutely disgusting and unprofessional. If I could give zero stars, I would. I know that feeling. My best friend and I went to pick up a pizza from this pizza hut. Is it this pizza hut that we went to? No, it's a different one. We were parked right in front of the windows, about to leave after getting our food.

I was on my phone checking wing stops wait times for her when she suddenly goes, oh my gosh, and tells me to look up. What happened? Right through the front window. We both saw an employee at the register. Picking his nose and eating it. Clear his day. His nose?

She immediately called the store, got transferred to the customer service who then transferred her back to the Buta location. While she was on hold, a delivery driver was on his way inside to grab another pizza for delivery. She told him what she saw,

and he said, I guess I'll go tell my manager. When someone finally answered, it was the same guy. We saw picking his nose. No, you didn't. You haven't seen nothing. My friend told him exactly what she saw.

He denied it. So she said, you literally have a black phone case. I saw you holding it one hand while picking your nose with the other. He looked up, make eye contact, and said, I'm not going to sit here and talk logistics with you. Then another manager came out with an attitude asking, what's the problem?

My friend told him what happened and said, I'm absolutely disgusted. That's unsanitary and not okay. I'd like a refund. You can have the pizza back. Instead of apologizing, he grabbed the pizza, stormed off and said, you'll get a refund.

Completely unprofessional and beyond gross. If that's what's happening, where customers can see them, I don't even want to imagine what's going on in the kitchen. we won't ever be back. I'm not going to sit here and talk logistics. That's a word I heard. That's cool.

That's cool. Where the boogers come from? Where did they go? It doesn't matter. I know where they end up. These things we don't know. I'm not a scientist. I'm not a doctor.

Looking up. I'm not punched a monkey. What are the booger logistics of this pizza hut? Looking up through the window and going, eye contact. Oh my God. This guy's eating his boogers and just going, I just don't know what. Now, now, listen,

you cross. But look, what did you expect for pizza? They got their refund, though. That, well, he took the pizza and stormed off and said, you'll get your refund.

Harumpf. Okay. Great. It sounds like you got what you wanted. That's it. So are you going to wing stop? Also, are you going to wing stop?

I don't know. I didn't understand that part. I didn't understand that part. I didn't understand that. I didn't really even. They didn't really even explain that. No, you can't fuck around. Did they think, wasn't it like Wing Street was part of?

Yeah, but that's not what they said. I was on my phone checking Wingstops wait times for her. I don't know. They're getting all the good stuff. I thought maybe that was like a Chekhov's gun thing and the wings. They're getting all the good. Wingstop wings are good. They're better than pizza.

I'm talking about Pizza Hut. Yeah, they're better than pizza. It seemed like you were insulting both. Great. He just doesn't want Wingstop catching strays Because of what Pizza Hut's doing Doesn't matter he'd go to Wingstop And he'd get you boneless everything

Yeah It's true He'd do it just to spite you His eyes His eyes Bones Bones You got boneless?

All right I'm not gonna say here to I'm thinking about that for ever I'm not gonna say here and talk logistics Just gonna start saying that Where it doesn't apply Like in this situation You should start saying that to Holly

Did you have to do the dishwasher? I'm not going to sit here and talk logistics with you. What? What are you saying? You don't want to know about feeding the cats. The logistics of them. This is Le Seven M. Worst experience ever.

I ordered a pizza and gave very specific instructions because there are two different houses slash families on my property. What does the driver do? One, deliver the pizza to the wrong house. Two, left the pizza outside on the point. of the wrong house because no one answered the door. Three, didn't call me to tell me he was here so I could help him locate me. So I called DoorDash and asked for my tip back.

I made a complaint. Results, this Pizza Hut location banned me from ordering from their location. How rude, as if it's my fault. The driver doesn't know how to follow simple instructions. Update, even though DoorDash is separate from Pizza Hut, for some reason I'm banned from ordering from this location. It doesn't matter. I've taken my business elsewhere. I'm not owned. I'm not owned. This sounds like the guy who got beat up by Allard Richardson. And then they banned me. See, I wouldn't say that because getting beat up by Alan Richie

at the end of the day is not good. Getting banned from pizza is good. That's going to benefit you. That is like a net positive in this situation. You're welcome. Yeah. Oh, and I got an order from Domino's. Yay. I love when it was so I called DoorDash and just went, like, like, of course. Like, of course, it's like, yeah, no shit. And then

only asked for her tip back. Right. Hey, give me money out of that guy's pocket. Yeah. I want to hurt him specifically. This complaint? Incredibly pointed. Pizza Hut, big corporation,

they can have all my money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. That guy, he deserves the dog. They need it. Do you think fucking low-la and bugs are working for free. They're closing 250 locations. We got to make sure Chris gets to the final four. If we see, if we want to see Lola Bunny do something,

and I mean really do something, they need all the money they can get. I'm a buster for Hutt. I'm a Hutt buster. But you were a crust lover. That's different. I'm in a different program. I see you're one of our Hutt Busters. Oh, Cust Buster. Buster makes me feel good.

Dude, crust lover is crazy. Like, it sounds so fucked up. It really does. It sounds like, fuck. Imagine it coming from like an old white thing. Yeah, yeah, right? Get off my brother,

you crush lover. Jesus Christ, dude. The fucks you all. There's kids around here. It feels like I'm gonna see a TikTok. You know, like that's the alternate type.

Get off my lawn. You're crust lovers. You get damn crush lover. I'm gonna see a TikTok of an old person calling someone a crust lover and I'm gonna go, so what is it? What are they what? What is it? Who's it too?

I heard so many new insults for when I saw that movie that had heard before. Like racist terms. Like what's he even saying? Kind of like a cotton mill kind of way. I was like, what's he saying? And then Clint is with, don't worry, I'm acting. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's like, what was it like getting into this role?

Roll. Documentary. Yeah. Yeah. Last one. Drew Pee or Drew Pee. Nice. Should have learned my lesson.

Last three times I ordered. Yeah, you should have. Hang on. Last three times I ordered for delivery parentheses because I did not want to drink and drive. Oh, nice. Ordered at 650 and pizza doesn't come till after night. Oh, my God. And yes, after waiting for over two hours, you receive a text stating it will now be delivered by DoorDash.

Do not order for delivery or do the tip online. Waste. Waste. Waste. Waste. Wrong waste. Waste of money and time. Plus pizzas are cold by the time they arrive. If they cannot provide the service they are claiming, stop advertising delivery.

Shame on this store! You said the three lessons, that's on you. I like how he said. Full me once. Should have learned my lesson, meaning should have just drunk drive. Yes, that is, I think that's what he's getting at here. There, my son. Learning the wrong lesson.

Nowhere in here does he say, like, I don't like pizza. I'm not going to order pizza anymore. Or have any problem with the food, which you should. It's not good if it gets their hot. either, sir. That's what he needs to do. Pizza Hut made me. He needs to drink a bunch right as he walks out the door and then race there.

So that way he can pick up his pizza and get home before it hit. You can have a slice on the way home too to really sort of like he's not slowing down. He's too drunk to drive at 6.50. It's 6.15 p.m. That's pretty crazy. By 9.20, I'm blacked out. Just drunk. starving for three hours

waiting for... Probably punching holes in his walls. You're waiting for pizza hut like a fucking crust lover. Just sitting there. Bald-headed crust lover. Bald-headed crust lover. Holy shit.

Oh, fuck, man. I know you're out there. Hey, get in the comments if you're a bald-headed crust lover. You go on YouTube. If you're a bald-headed crust lover, go on YouTube and hype this video. Yeah, but if you're a hut buster, show us your work.

What gets you bust in the most about Pizza Hut? Is it Lola Bunny? Is it the horny skunk? Oh man. Well, those are your reviews of Pizza Hut, but we have our reviews of Pizza Hut's new hand-tossed crust. Jordan. I start with you. I'm in favor of us

not banning them outright, but like just ignoring their existence. We should erase them from the timeline of our current thread. So when, exactly, when somebody else is like, did you see what pizza did it goes like, it's just static. It's like, oh, did you see the new thing at brang ro,

yeah. For some reason, it's the Tasmanian devil talking. Yeah. Well, it's Daffy. Or Daffy. He just sounds like that. Well, you guys know about that. Pitha did it with the thickle ball.

You guys know about Dap. It's like when they get Kermit the Frog's voice. Deep Daffy. It's funny. Hey, how y'all doing today? Oh shit, it's daffy dog. I got tongue surgery. There's not even much to say about this.

No, because it's not new. It's not even that different. They maybe have added something to it. It's not that different, and they're proud of that. We opened the box. And I was like, it looks like Pizza Hut. It tasted like Pizza Hut. The crust was not that different.

I couldn't place what the flavor was. It's like a garlicky kind of thing. I felt like they were trying to copy what Domino's does. I think they were trying to, but there's not enough. Sucks. The crust is terrible. It's the same shitty crust. It's always kind of like brown and you're like, is this burnt?

And then it's so soft in a bad way. It's chewy soft. It's on the inside and the, yeah, chewy on the outside. It's like, is this cartboard? But it has a staleness to like the around the crust part has like a staleness. And then the inside is chewy like you don't want a pretzel. Yeah. Yeah.

It's impressive the way they fuck it up so bad. But what if we kind of put some garlic on it? I refuse to acknowledge that Pizza Hut exists after this moment. Okay. And I give it a 10. Okay. 10. It's no eight, whatever the flats is.

But it still sucks. It's 20. 20. That's an average score of 15. It tastes just like Pizza Hut. 15. What? It tastes like Dap.

It tastes like worst. It tastes like worst dominoes. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Papa John's is better than pizza. It's better than what?

Yeah. It's like static in his brain. Roll. The pizza was just so strange. The wings were weird. I can't believe it like this is this. It's still it's pizza hut. Yeah.

You're fucking pizza hut. It was. Get it together. It was different. You're pizza hot, man. It's 2026. Make good pizza. Jesus.

How long can they just like keep like. they're falling down this hill they're coasting on it man they're doing it that that's the end game it's like we're not going to put any much certainly we're not going to take money that is ours out of this giant company I'm not interested in that

I'm interested in sucking the life out of it like if I were if I were I'm excited about one of my car car their door is praying the company if I were at someone's house and they were ordering anything say like you're in Chinese food I would whatever I wouldn't even ask where they're getting it from If someone were to say, I'm going to get pizza, I'm ordering pizza.

Let me stop you right there. I would absolutely be like, why are you eating pizza? Yeah. Why would you do? Is this, do you like pizza or you're just thinking, I don't know, we want pizza? I guess I'll go with pizza. Are we about to not be friends? Because I, like, it's not my house.

Hey, I'm not ordering it. If everyone here says, yes, I've thought about it. I want pizza hot. We're not going to. I'm not going to stop you. I'll think less of you. But like, everyone puts on their mask. I would, my genuine thinking would be like, you're just not thinking.

You must just be ordering. pizza because you forgot you've got dominoes you forgot and then they would go oh what's the difference yep uh like i would absolutely step and go just order domino yeah just order don't order pizza i'm doing everyone a favor or don't trust me that would that would blow my mind 15 like yeah we just have to like ignore what it sucks out at baseline pizza hut is the 15 it really is this is this is really what yum brands is that like pizza hut is truly what is taco bill doing to dodge all these I don't know. I don't know. Because they have it so figured out.

They're like playing with things, light and shit on fire. They're wrapping hooks through the ceiling. They like. KFC and they're just going nuts. And pizza out are in the corner. Talk about crazy. What are they going on where they're now? I just don't know what to.

It's so nuts. And then someone's like, someone's like, something's like nothing in return. Let's be like Taco Bell. Let's just do like, you know, we'll not put it in the effort or build the foundation like Taco Bell. We'll just do a Taco Bell thing over here.

Yeah. We're having fun too. Yeah. We can be like you. It'll be like crazy day where just like shenanigans happen and we record it and we catch it in the moment except we'll put it on like the calendar

and then we'll have people show up at a certain time and then say you stand over there and you stand over there and then everyone's having fun. And I assume Pizza Hut style. And I assume that's gonna work for Pizza Hut. Yeah. That's what people want.

For a while. That's what people want. They might get invited to the file four. Well, don't eat this. It's not even worth like ire. It's not worth outrage. It's just like, man. I'm not mad.

I got exactly what I expected. We just need to stop going to stop doing this or something. The thing, the thing about this is. Yeah. We went three times. But we had to try the new crust to be like really. Maybe the thing we complained about was the crust. Maybe we would try.

Maybe we try one more time. We'd get real drunk in the bag. Yeah. Yeah. That could work. And then we'll at least have like a drunk guy going and I don't know. Maybe it'll help. He's into it.

Yeah, maybe skip this one. Skip Pizza Hut all together. This is, it's tough. Um. Hey, you can go to 100% eat dot store, and you can grab this new beanie. You can also grab this tall shirt. You can be a tall guy.

You need a tall guy. We also have the 100% eat fridge magnet back here. Good magnet. Looks great, so check it out. I will say the stitching on this be on. Oh, God, I love it. The orange pops like crazy. It looks so good.

Not like pizza. We have other shirts also. Go check it out. I think the hats are still there maybe. Or is he gone? I saw some people get some hats. They go, ooh, what a shot. That's 100% eat.

It's streamly.com slash 100% eat. Michael Jordan podcast. Watch that in every other previous episode. Patreon.com slash 100% eat. Subscribe there. Hey, if you want to go to the lowest tier, you can get on the Discord, which is a lot of fun.

That's where we did our beekeeper watch along. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. There you go. Buzz, What a crazy time that was last week. Yeah. Did we order Pizza Hut? No.

What did we get in? Or what did we get? What did we get? What did we get? What did you want? Did you want good pizza? I don't want pizza again. Okay.

Pretzels? Is it for dinner? Yeah. Pretzels for dinner. Pretzels for fun. No one's gonna take home these leftovers, huh? No, it's trash. Crazy.

It's okay. Almost trash day. Wow. Anyway, five bucks you can get on the Discord and you get the ad-free version of this podcast, which is great. What a deal. Unlike Pizza Hut, we introduce increased value.

Good stuff for you. For your money. Follow us at 100% eat Twitter, Instagram of Blue Sky. And you can send stuff to 100% treat. P-O-Box 14-32-41-A-Texe-S-Tex 77-14. That's P-O-Box 1-4. 3-2-4-1-A-S-Texe-7-1-4.

Check it out. Oh, also, we decided, just so you guys know. We decided! We decided! We are not going to the Boysenberry Festival this year. We are saving it for maybe some special stuff that we want to do a little later this year. Yeah, we decided if we were going to travel, we want to make it really count.

Yeah, we want to make it really count. It was a decision we came to with a lot of thought and planning, not. We're like, oh shit, this is weird. This is too soon. We drunk. Yeah. It's just like, yeah, you want to that's not what happened. Yeah. It was good. Yeah. There you go. Well reasoned. Yeah. Rate, subscribe, tell for him about the show where we eat food and rate food.

And sometimes even like it. Sometimes. Sometimes. Honestly, when there's a bad one, I forget like the last time we had something good. One bad one. Although we had panda. One bad one undoes like three good ones. It does. It really does. And that's why the show is like. I got it again this weekend.

Yeah. I finished the leftovers. Did you like it? Did you try it? She didn't try it? What are you fucking nuts? What do you mean? Why not even say

have you met his wife? Have you seen his wife? She'd blow up. I know nothing about her. Like a frail Victorian child. She'd explode, dude. Yep. All right, one more.

It would not go well. All right. Well, there you go. You suck. All right. Nick's not in the final four. No, MJ.

He's going to go. He's going to go suck off the skunk crust lover style. We'll see you later. Bye. Wait, no. No. No, no, no.

Sorry. No, undo it. Sorry, it's confirmed.