100% Eat - Dairy Queen Rotisserie-Style Chicken Bites & Brownie Dough Blizzard

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Dairy Queen Rotisserie-style Chicken Bites & Brownie Dough Blizzard so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about ice cream after it snows, stopping the steal, what is house-made ranch, and more. Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/facejam) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam10 and use code facejam10) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. where we try every new fast food creation. We'll let you know if you need it. You probably do. Thanks to ExpressVPN and HelloFresh for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? Great. How are you? Jordan, how are you? I'm great.

Oh, okay. Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. How are you? Just living life, dude. Just living Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. How are you? Just living life, dude. Just living life. I was excited. We heard the intro again and, you know, we got to chat.

It's been like three weeks. It's been a while because we had to pre-tape for the holidays earlier than usual. And then I would say because of events we can discuss later, we were held up a little bit. So we got to chat a little more than usual. You know, usually we roll up, we nosh on the food a bit, and then we get rolling. Do those events have anything to do

with what happened at the Capitol? No. Okay. I was just checking. As far as I'm aware, unless you have something you want to admit. Actually, we should probably dive deeper and see if maybe it did cause a problem. We will. We're going to dive deeper.

Okay. What happened at the Capitol? Did you put this on the sheet anywhere, Eric? No, I'm not seeing... Is there a page two? I'm not seeing this in my notes. I'm just saying, when we get to it, I have some questions for Eric. I have some questions. Frankly, after speaking to it, I have some questions for Eric. I have some questions.

Well, frankly, after speaking with Michael, I have some questions for Jordan. Okay, I didn't know if this was going to come up, but yeah. Okay. Let's just say what we're reviewing first. Okay, let's just get through this. Today, we are reviewing Dairy Queen rotisserie-style chicken bites and brownie dough blizzard. we are reviewing Dairy Queen rotisserie style chicken bites and brownie dough blizzard da brownie dough

I'm so excited for this episode we had to include the blizzard because it's Dairy Queen it's Dairy Queen I think we talked about it before when we were kind of going through different restaurants and everything it's like if we do Dairy Queen like oh you know don't really eat the food at Dairy Queen ever so if we ever do Dairy

Queen we have to make sure we include the ice cream like that is not only must it was the Dairy Queen was tricky because it was like obviously we need to include the ice cream but also there needs to be food yeah right which is I don't want to just do ice cream uh-huh that's a whole other thing right as well like they're gonna do limited time food but that's the thing ever jordan that's that's the thing i guess we can get into your past experience with this restaurant have you ever eaten the food at dairy queen i have never eaten the food and and after today i'm not sure I did still. What? I didn't know. I didn't know that there was food at Dairy Queen for probably 16 years of my life.

Like until I was like a later teenager, it just never occurred to me. I only ever got ice cream at Dairy Queen, ever. As a kid, I would see the commercials for Dairy Queen this is out in California so totally different commercials than they have here in Texas no theme song whoa and they would show like the dipped ice cream cone

and the blizzard and stuff I'd be like ooh I like that and then just like always in the peripheral is like a basket with a hamburger in it or something. Even as a kid, I'm like, I don't want that. Get out of here. You'd just be kind of like out of focus at the edge of the shot. Yeah.

You thought it was set dressing. It's like it's a reminder. We have food. Yeah. You can come here and eat. And even as a kid, I never had a desire to have food there. I mean, I did not frequent Dairy Queen at all in any capacity. I've been there.

I may have eaten something if I was brought there by a parent or something, and chicken tenders was probably given to me. Does that count as child abuse? I didn't think so, but I mean, also

I love the play place at McDonald's so who's to say maybe I had questionable judgment maybe Michael's not the best barometer for that don't ask me okay but it's certainly even knowing yeah there's food there it was never a place in a million years you'd think I'm hungry let's go to Dairy Queen

yeah it's synonymous with ice cream and nothing else in a million years you'd think i'm hungry let's go to dairy queen yeah never would have that thought it's synonymous with ice cream and nothing else yeah i think it's different in texas right like i think people are and i don't nick's giving a big thumbs up it's a thing here like they call it the texas stop sign and they have a fucking theme song about it and like all these people that we work with are all about Dairy Queen and like eating there which is insane yeah

from what I hear Jordan's talking so you go no no I thought you were going to let me go and then I let you go and then you didn't go so it was weird. We were both at stop signs and I went, okay, I'll go.

Oh, he's going. I'll let him go. And then you don't go. And so then I say, okay, well, I'm not going to sit here forever. Then I'm going to go. Then you go. Now you go. Hey, go ahead.

I forgot what I was going to say. Well, you were going to go. I'll start talking and maybe that'll rile you up enough to remember it. No, what I was going to say is, much like if you're a native Texan, if you can do the stars at night are big and bright, they'll always clap. See, Nick's clapping over there. He's not clapping. If you say DQ, they always say, that's what I like about Texas.

Like, it's the theme song for Texas. The theme song for Texas? I don't know what any of it is. I don't know anything you're talking about right now. I'm completely lost I'm just saying it's ingrained in Texas culture which is weird because this place is not from here

no that's true it is from what I've learned in my years here it is very much like a subway whereas for some reason everyone in Texas loves it like loves it and it's very much a

you know after a baseball game you go to Dairy Queen I've been told that a lot it's like going to Shakey's Pizza but instead you're going to Dairy Queen so I will get more into this stuff in the facts and everything but Texas has the most Dairy Queen franchises of any state of any place in the facts and everything but texas has the most dairy queen franchises

of any state of any place in the world for some reason there are more here than anywhere else and i love it it's bizarre yeah like of all the restaurants dairy queen like it just doesn't strike me as like you know texas. Ice cream hot dog chicken finger basket. What? That's not us. He's still beeping. That's the dairy clip. We're trying to record a podcast.

This person pulled up in the parking lot that we are in and saw a woman from across the lot, drove at her and beeped five times. I'm watching the interaction now. Now the driver, now a passenger has exited the vehicle. The driver has remained in the car. Oh, driver's getting out. I don't know what's going on.

Do you think the passenger was really excited and was like, honk, honk. It's her. Okay, I don't know if this is. Honk, honk. The passenger's reaching over and he like honk honk it's her okay i don't know if this is the passengers reaching over and he's yeah he seemed very eager to get out of the car i'll leave it for now because nothing's happening but this is a tense situation and i'll i'll monitor it and let you know something else oh let me know if anyone pulls out a gun oh they're following her. Uh-oh. Anyway. I thought you were going to keep us updated, Michael.

If something happens. They're walking. They think they're happening. No, it looks like she is not being coerced. I think they may be known. She's leading them somewhere. Oh, she's the ringleader. Oh, shit. Okay, that's what it is. Oh, she's the ringleader. Oh, shit.

Okay, that's what it is. It was a boss beep. Like, beep, beep, we're here, boss. And she went, boss! About time! Boss! She went, about time! Where you mugs been? And they said, sorry, we just, we were held up at the DQ.

Had to get a blizzard before the big job. All right, let's go rob this place. Anyway, we witnessed a crime. What a mess. I think that Dairy Queen is like, I put it above Baskin Robbins when it comes to ice cream places. I was going to say that too, because it strikes me as a Dairy Queen versus Baskin Robbins type thing.

I mean, they both sell ice cream, but other than that they couldn't be more different. Because Dairy Queen has like three flavors and food and Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors and nothing but ice cream. Maybe some cakes.

So it's like, why compare them? And where I'm from, we had Friendly's. So fuck all this shit. Oh, what's Friendly's? Friendly's ice cream. Well, so they sell it in stores. I don't know if it was like a brand that became a restaurant. It was probably a restaurant and then a brand they exported to stores.

But you could also get it as just ice cream in stores. It was an ice cream brand. But it was like a, you know, kind of american diner type restaurant that their ice cream was their big thing you know like oh friendlies ice cream but they had real food kind of like a culver's or freddy's something like that yeah yeah um like like a like a decent sit-down place not as uh you know i wouldn't put it as kind of mainstreamy or pop culturey as a Fridays or something. It was just very much a

you absolutely went to Friendly's to get ice cream but you would be like, we're gonna go have lunch and then top it off with some nice Friendly's ice cream. You know what I mean? Again, they had chicken and burgers and again, just like again they had chicken and burgers and you know

just again like steak and shake kind of but more of a diner place though than steak and shake I would put it above like fast food it was more of a sit down restaurant got it

I didn't go to any of these places it's an east coast thing a memory lane trip on ice cream, but does the East Coast or New Jersey in particular have ice cream you can get in pharmacies? Like, say there's like the Baskin Robbins type bar of ice cream and there's like an attendant there to scoop out a cone for you I don't think so I mean we had the I'm thinking of thrifty at the Rite Aid

thrifty yeah I don't think uh no we just had like there'd be the little freezer box you know like the one you dive into yeah we had those I don't remember a person what Jordan's talking about is like it is like Baskin Robbins inside of like,

like imagine that you bought Tylenol at Rite Aid. And then as you left, there's a man there and he'll scoop you like a, like a two scoop cone of mint chip and like French vanilla. That's smart because I would eat so much more ice cream in that scenario. Right. Like, like I don't,

I don't ever went all the time. I don't ever pick up your lactate and right? Like, I don't ever- You eat it all the time. I don't ever give a shit- You pick up your lactate and you get some ice cream. That's it. I don't ever give a shit as an adult to wake up and go, I'm going to go get ice cream. Same. You know? I don't do it.

I don't do it. It has to be in places where people are going. If I'm walking by and some guy goes, hey, ice cream. I'd go, yeah, I'll eat it. Sure. I've never fucking thought about that before. I really like- Yeah, I don't go out of my way for ice cream. But man, if riding- If ice cream. I'd go, yeah, I'll eat it. Sure. I've never fucking thought about that before. I really like, yeah, I don't go out of my way for ice cream. But man, if Rite Aid-

If ice cream is there. If they had the thrifty ice cream at the front where it was like 99 cents for like a cone or whatever, I would get ice cream all the fucking time. We used to go with my parents- They put it right next to the line too. Yeah. We would want to go shopping at thrifty to go. It's like

just so we can get the ice cream I never even thought about that and like something like McDonald's comes to mind there

which is the same thing like you're already there the only reason I don't get it is because ice cream is a pain in the ass when you're driving you don't want a

fucking cone that's gonna get all over your car and shit if I'm out and about walking around like a real person like wow

look at that real guy I would get ice cream I'd be like I hold it I eat like, wow, look at that real guy. I would get ice cream. I'd be like, I hold it, I eat it, it's gone. Look at that real guy. Yeah, look at that. Whoa, there he is. This guy fucking made up. No, no, no.

Ma'am, that's a real guy. No, no, this guy's holding something. Look at this real guy. He's madder. He's existing in that space. That's a real guy eating ice cream if I've ever seen one. I try to put my hand through him to no avail. Stopped it.

Just stopped. You know, solid. Solid guy. Couldn't even move him. Solid guy here. Solid guy. Solid guy. Oh, he's a good guy?

No, no, no. He's a guy. He's a real guy. Tucking on ass. Yep. I'm talking about the state of... Just so you know,

we've got two more people now approaching where the other people were. I think this is the rest of the team. That's the hacker? Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. Oh, shit. She's got hacker vibes. Yeah. Special ops went in the building. Hacker is going to the van around the side. Not our van. It's a broken piece of shit.

Anyway, that's our experience with DQ. Who can say what it is? I can. I just did. Let's move on to Dairy Queen facts. The van's a piece of shit. You said it was fixed. You lied.

It's broken. No, it might be fixed. It's been a little while You lied. It's broken. No, it might be fixed. It's been a little while. Don't worry about it. No, it's broken. Are we good to move on to facts? Are we all in agreeance here? Yeah, yeah.

No, yeah, we can move on to facts as long as we all agree that the van works and it's good. Got it. Fact number one. The van's a piece of shit and it's broken. Fact number two. No! two. No!

The first Dairy Queen opened in 1940 in Joylet, Illinois where it still stands and is a city designated landmark. Don't correct him. It stands. I know you want to. Don't correct him. Oh, what? No, you said it right. No, you said it right.

Joletti? Joletti! Joletti? Joletti. Joletti. Joletti? Yes. Joletti. Joletti.

Stop. Go back one. What is it? What is it? Go back one. J-O-L-E-T. Joletti. Oh, Joletti.

I don't know why you spelled it. You said it like toilet. That's not how you spelled it. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. ToilE. Joliet. Joliet. Oh, Joliet. I don't know why you spelled it. You said it like toilet. That's not how you spelled it. Toilet. Toilet. There's a lot of E's and a lot of T's. You said it like eau de toilette. I was being classy.

Do you want to do another wine show? No. You want me to read some of those? I like, so that, was it a random steak and shake in missouri that was like a yeah national landmark this one's only a city doesn't yeah and it's the first one yeah it's because i'm mad at steak and shakes roll your fucking window up you're like echoing into someone else's mic no it's it's too warm. You hit Nick's mic. You're louder in Nick's mic than Nick is. The mic won't even pick Nick up, but it's

sometimes you. In 1942 in Romeo and Julietty, Illinois, it stands so it's not open, it's just standing or it's open for business? No, it's still there. It's still open. It's gotta standing? Or it's open for business? No, it's still there, it's still open. That's gotta be a piece of shit, right?

100%, yeah. But what do you expect from... 80 years old! What do you think... What else do you expect from Joylet, Illinois? I don't expect anything. I don't even know what it is. I don't know where it is.

You could have made it up, but I believe it. I don't know how to say it. If your city designated landmark is a Dairy Queen, I mean, you might be a redneck. And it's not Texas. Got him. Dairy Queen's Iconic Dilly Bar

was invented in 1955, and I don't know what a dilly bar is. Do you? What is it? What does dilly mean? Is that a threat? Do we know where Jordan was on the 6th? No. I don't have answers

to any of these questions. These are all big question marks for Face Jam right now. Just say it. I'll tell you where I was. I was picking up cat vomit when my cat decided to eat a purse strap and throw it up. That's a very specific memory.

It sounds a little too... It's an alibi, all right. I was by myself picking up cat throw up is where I was. Isn't a dilly-bor what they say in the Bud Light commercials? It was my 8,000th blink of the day, specifically. Do you want to know how many breaths I was on? Nobody blinks 8,000 times. I really, but I really don't know what a dilly bar is.

And everything that I read was like the iconic dilly bar. And I'm like, what the fuck is that? I thought maybe you guys would know. Do you know what a dilly bar is? Is a dilly bar like the thing you just said? Maybe they just slap dilly bars around town and you could just get an ice cream while you were out picking up cat vomit. And it's like, I'll just swing by the dilly bar like the thing you just said? Maybe they just slap dilly bars around town and you could just get an ice cream while you were out picking up cat vomit. And it's like, I'll just swing by the dilly bar and get some ice cream. Man, if there was an ice cream place in my house next to where the cat vomited, I would have gotten ice cream before I even cleaned up the cat vomit.

Like a Richie Rich McDonald situation? Like you're picking up cat vomit, but there's a dilly bar stand? See, that's the dream. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, I don't know what a Dilly Dilly Bar is. What is the fourth fact?

No. The first fact you made up is not a fact. No, no. I see it. It's right here. Third fact. The first fact you made up is not a fact. No, no.

I see it. It's right here. Third fact. In 2017, Illinois DQ franchise owner Jim Critchington had his store taken away after subjecting a woman and her two children to a racist rant. When police intervened, Critchington proudly declared his racist beliefs and later probably drove the 12 and a half hours to D.C. to stop the steal. Jordan, you know this guy or what?

Yeah, he brought dilly bars for everyone. Damn. There's one guy handing out fucking dilly bars. It's fucked up. As a DQ tradition, if any employee cannot turn their blizzard upside down, they can be removed from their job. Do you think they have to be removed upside down? You liked writing that one, didn't you?

I felt good about that. Did you giggle while you wrote it? I feel like if they can walk out of the store post dismissal, if they can walk out of the store upside down, like on their hands, they should be able to get their job back. It's like how they can save it.

This is interesting. Yeah, because again, not really frequenting DQ. I still know of that weird thing yeah where they turn it upside down yeah well they turn it upside down and it's

one of those things that I guess started from the company right and it was kind of their thing going ah look how I guess thick it is they stole it from a guy who used to sell concrete custards one of the franchise owners who saw this guy was like,

That sounds dangerous. Yeah. So he stole it and then made everyone at his Dairy Queen do it, and then it became a thing that everyone does. But I will let you know that when I bought the stuff today, the person at Dairy Queen handed me our blizzards and a drink holder and did not hold any of them upside down at all. Did she burp at you too?

No, I added that one. That was the flair. Well, here's the thing. It's one of those things of like ye olde, right? It's like a quaint, look at this guy. Uh-oh, they're boxing you and this is the bus.

You know when the bus pulls up alongside the armored car with the money? You just got bussed. You know when the bus pulls up alongside the armored car with the money? You just got bussed. Or like when the van sneaks up and happens to break down next to the AGM as it's getting restocked. Yeah, the guy loading it. This started as like a good old-fashioned, you know, yeah, they stole it, but still like, oh, look at us. You know, it's super thick.

Look, we'll show you. We can hold it upside down. And people in the 50s and the 60s probably went, oh, that's great. Look at that. It's upside down. I love it. And then slowly over time, you know, humans evolved

and they stopped doing that stupid shit because nobody gives a shit. I don't want you, just give me my fucking food. Don't hold it upside down. I could not care less if you can hold my food upside down. Could not care less. But, and I feel like the company now doesn't give a shit. I don't want you, just give me my fucking food. Don't hold it upside down. I could not care less if you can hold my food upside down. Could not care less. But, and I feel like the company now doesn't give a shit, because why would they? But you've got wackos

that are going to go in and go, it's only a thing that people are going to do now, and say, hey, can you hold it upside down? And the 17-year-old working there is going to go, what? What? What the hell are you talking about? Like you said today, you got it, and they gave it to you in cups with lids. And if you said, can you hold it upside down?

I bet they would take it and go, uh, and hold it upside down with the lid on. Because they wouldn't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yes, 100%. You're absolutely right. Mr. Hickrichington, what do I do? Yeah, this is like, you need Yoda to come in here. Let it burn, okay? Just let it burn. Dude, we don't, you need Yoda to come in here. Let it burn. Okay? Just let it burn.

Dude, we don't need to hold it upside down. Nobody gives a shit what happened in 1940. Just eat your fucking ice cream, shut the fuck up, and get out of here. Alright? Give us the money, here's the ice cream, get the fuck out. Hold it upside down all you want at home. Get the fuck out. And the

final fact. In 2019, we're getting recent here, the FBI raided a South Carolina Dairy Queen while a rumor spread that this particular chain's hamburgers contained human meat. A city coroner said there is little to no chance of human meat being in the burgers, but if Pizzagate taught me anything, the coroner is in on it,

and maybe it's in the hot dogs. Oh, it was a misdirect. Look, I can say... I think we can get Armie Hammer on this. He can tell us for sure. I can testify on record that it is not in the hamburgers. And then he looked

and he winked over to the franchisee owner. Yeah. Damn, dude. And then got paid by Soros. Damn! Damn.

Soros DQ City Coroner. Fuck! That's the headline. That's the headline. Wow. Well, a lot of facts. It turned out that the FBI raided the place Because there was like a weird money laundering Or like money transfer between business thing

Wait a minute So a real plausible thing? Yes Wait it wasn't the deep state? Were they laundering the money in the meat? That's the thing People are like so concerned Are we, are we eating human flesh? The government will intervene.

No, the government doesn't give a fuck if you're eating human flesh. If you are making money and not giving the government their cut of the money, they send in the FBI. They don't send in the FBI to be like, this Dairy Queen might be suspect. They just go, hey, there's money? Money here? Money for us? And then they take it. And then it's theirs now. Yeah. That's all that is. Money time. That's how they got

Al Capone. He had a Dairy Queen that was... He expressed racist views and that was stopping this deal. He wears a buffalo hat. He's breaking into the Capitol. Yeah, they needed five people to hold him upside down. I remember the iconic image

of Al Capone. They were like, guilty. And then it's those five guys hold him upside down leaving the courthouse. And they're like, that's how they got him. Damn, dude. They said he had DQ something different and then they held him upside down. It was fucked up. That's what I like about Illinois. Those are just the facts.

Absolutely. You learned a lot about Dairy Queen. The spitting silly segment. Now we can fuck around a little bit if we want. It raises a great question. Yeah, why do we do ice cream two days after it snowed? Well, that's because we planned it before it snowed. It's true.

It's true. Did we? I feel like we decided on this yesterday. No, I feel like it was decided before, and then it was just like, here are alternatives. And then it was like, no, let's just stick with our plan. It was a very bad idea to eat the blizzard outside my car. Yeah, but we wanted to be friends. I could have just been in the car.

Yeah, but we could have been friends together. No one forced you. Yeah, that's true. You held against your will. We've eaten meals outside of our cars while you ate meal inside your car a couple of times. And we've talked about it. Yeah. Every time.

We were going, this guy's in his car. And then you chose to eat an ice cream in, you know, let's be honest, chilly weather. You act like it's sub-zero. I just think it's weird how you would change your behavior just a few days after the 6th. Like, you almost want us to think you're a different person. Like, you went and did some stuff, and now you're just trying to change. I don't know. Something to think about, I guess.

You didn't shave your beard to hide your identity like all those other guys. No, I grew a beard to hide my identity. I was one of the few people wearing a mask, so they'll never find me. They'll never find you. Let me just ask you this, totally unrelated. Do you have any flights coming up? Is it? Because you might want to cancel them.

They're trying to ruin my life. You might not make your them. They're trying to ruin my life. You might not make your connection. Oh, man. It's really... Jordan, I just don't know how you're going to get anywhere on this list. I just don't know what you're going to do. There goes the road trip. Oh, he's on a list, alright.

VIP are the Jordan Sweers? Oh, come with us, sir. Yes, sir. That's what they should do. All this off-line list stuff. They should. They need to have the FBI go, wow.

Come with us. You do the fake. This is the very important Patriot List. Come with us. I mean, you just do the fake DVD thing, right? I always equate it to DVDs cause that's when I saw it the most in like the early 2000s when that was a big deal

right if you like got a free DVD player and the you know whatever it always they'd always film it but it'd be some sort of just like oh we just have all these outstanding it wasn't even really a sting it was just people that had outstanding warrants for their arrest, but it was too

trivial to, like, go to all their houses and get them, you know what I mean? So come here and get your DVD player. It'd be like unpaid parking tickets, or this bullshit, or that bullshit, so they'd just mass mail out, like, you got a free DVD player, come collect it, and then people would walk in

and go, and they'd be like, you won, they'd go, I won! And then they would arrest them, and they'd go I won and then they would arrest them and they'd go oh man and they would just take them away come pick up your free DVD player it's right through this door and then they walk through the door it's in like the back of a paddy wagon and the car drives off they just do that at the airport

like oh you're going to first class and it would just avoid the meltdowns that happen you know know, at the gate now. Because they just throw them off the plane and like, great, good, they threw them off the plane, but now all the people in the airport gotta deal with these maniacs.

I like how we've gone from having meetings to improve our podcast to meetings to improving. We arrest domestic terrorists. There was a loose thread. If you asked me to say what it was, I couldn't tell you, but there was a thread. And also, this is

spitting silly, okay? We're spitting silly. We're definitely spitting silly. We should change the name to coming up with solutions instead of spitting silly, because we're spitting good ideas. You think the name of the segment should be called Coming Up With Solutions?

I think it should be called Spittin' Solutions now. Oh! You know, I'm not opposed to that. A marginal. Yeah, really. Not that it was hard to do. Spittin' Solutions. How about

Really Good Concrete Idea Time? Concrete? Wait, are you talking about ice cream? Yeah. See, it's too confusing.

I got a lead belly. I, they used to, on like old mobsters, they used to feed people the concrete custards and then they'd drop them

in the river. I was gonna say. Sleep with the fishes. The guy who bullied me in second grade made me eat concrete all the river. Sleep with the fishes. The guy who bullied me in second grade made me eat concrete all the time. What? How? What? Pushing down on the ground.

Oh, I thought he was like buying a bag of ice cream. Because my thought is like, well, why'd you eat it when you got down there? Right? He must have shit so weird. That must have been insane.

I mean, like, that's a concrete rub. I could see if you were like, hey, he fed me a little bit of plaster of Paris. That would make sense. You know, because you could eat the powder, and then it would make the plaster in your mouth. Right, right, right. It's like how the Christmas story kid becomes a connoisseur of different soap flavors. My favorite

brand is Quick Crete. I'm a Quick Crete, Shock Crete guy. That's just me. I don't like that industrial grade stuff. Buying the powdered stuff is always cheaper than the pre-made. Oh, absolutely. You just go buy the powdered, mix it up throw it in a hole in your backyard

I don't know what you do with concrete, you figure it out feed it to Jordan Jordan eats concrete his cat eats leather straps I don't fucking know, it runs in the family and he's a patriot yeah I'm getting I'm getting the Medal of Freedom next week, guys. Oh, congratulations.

Oh, wow. Yeah, Belichick turned it down, so they're like, yeah, Jordan can have it, whatever. Yeah, well, let's see. Yeah, he's next on the list. Devin Nunez, Jordan Sweers. The MyPillow guy. Don't forget him. Did he get one? How has he not gotten one if he hasn't gotten one?

I don't know, dude. Maybe he's gonna maybe he checks under his MyPillow every night before bed to make sure the metal fairy didn't leave it. The reason he doesn't get one is because he's the mark. He's the one giving all the money so you just have to give him just enough love but you can't give him the medal.

You have to give the medal to the guys who don't necessarily give you money, but they do the dirty work. That's why Nunez gets it, but the MyPillow guy does not. Think about it. Yeah. He's too willing to shell out. Exactly. Exactly. And Nunez is like, yeah, I got you.

Yeah. Yep. I'm taking notes. Backroom dirty work shit. That's what's up. Fuck MyPillow. Gotcha. Yeah. Yep. I'm taking notes. Backroom dirty work shit. That's what's up. Fuck my pillow. Here's the thing, right? It's not even a good pillow.

It's a piece of shit. Yeah. The fuck's up with that? I mean, it doesn't have to be. No. You just need to appeal to a certain demographic. Yep. Like you?

Like your demographic? It's like someone with the ideals yeah patriots I don't wanna I don't wanna no but this bit but I think we're going too far with it nah I like it we should go deeper deep state shit

okay that's the best part about all this all these people are about to find out how deep the deep state really goes and they're gonna find out it's deep they got to face jam yep uh that's i mean i'm sure i'm sure deep state's listening to this podcast and then we're gonna see definitely about how how people were corralled at the airport thinking they got first class upgrades. DVD players. All right, Jordan, tell me about rotisserie bites.

What the fuck are rotisserie bites? Oh, um. That's what we ate, dude. Rotisserie style chicken bites feature 100% white meat chicken roasted until tender. No coating required. Damn. Rotisserie-style chicken bites paired with crispy fries, Texas toast, and house-made Hidden Valley Ranch. They make it there.

Or another dipping sauce of choice. No, that's the thing. They don't. They just give you, like, the prepackaged, like, Hidden Valley fucking thing with, like, the- What does house-made Hidden Valley Ranch mean, valley ranch mean then i think that's like it probably just says house made on the packet yeah i think that's like the trademark term house made hidden valley and it's like oh you're genius there is no there is no like registered trademark logo that's like so i wasn't sure that's like if we started calling this show artisanal face jam that's just like the name of it and it's like damn that's what you have to write the best podcast in the world face jam and then that's

what people have to write like variety magazine that's a good idea and variety writes about us a lot so that's a missed opportunity yeah yeah that's what i'm saying so you got to change the name quick we gotta pass it through legal i'm sure that shouldn't be a problem i like how it like this clearly is like they have to mention Hidden Valley Ranch because then they just go, or another one, we don't care. Whatever you want. Right. Or some other sauce. That's their thing. It's nice that you're allowed.

I was going to say, it's nice that you're allowed to use other sauce, though. Yeah, thank you for allowing us there, Green. You're welcome to if you can figure it out, idiot. That truck drove way too close to you. Very close and they're taking up two spots. I'm glad there's no passenger because Nick's

car was going to get pushed out of the way when that door opens. Because his car is tiny compared to... Amazing what just happened. He moved the monkey mask to look at the truck. Nick's got his monkey mask sitting on the headrest of his passenger seat, so it

looks like a person sitting there. I think there's some sort of carpool scam he's got going on. Yeah, smart. He drives in the carpool lane. Uh-huh. And that's the side the truck drove up on, and he just turned the head 90 degrees as if... The monkey's going, you parked too close. The monkey was going, hey,

back up. It was done in a very dramatic manner and i'm sure the lady saw it and thought it was funny the brownie dough blizzard says brownie dough choco chunks not chocolate and cocoa fudge blended with our world famous vanilla soft serve to blizzard perfection what does that mean i don't know they wouldn't hold it upside down so i don't know how perfect it really was are they using blizzard as a verb there we blizzarded it to perfection no i think it's like uh yeah maybe i don't well i mean too hard about it and it's like yeah i don't know what they mean i just took it at face value and now you're making me like peel back the layers and it's falling apart whoa i can tell you um see this is what happens when

you critically think yep holding it upside down is um uh served to blizzard perfection it was not because when i opened mind it was actively running yeah yeah. It jumped out and ran away from him. Wet Sunday. Yeah, it dove towards the concrete and said, I'm hungry. My name's Jordan and I'm starving. Good press material though, Jordan. Why don't you fire off on that one? Alright, everyone

buckle up. This is a long one. N.A. Could not find any Facebook posts about it. Couldn't find a press release. Didn't get word back. Interesting. Didn't get word back about these people. Like, nothing.

Went to their website. Went to their corporate site. Went to their press releases on their corporate site. Emailed to try to get word? Nothing. Jack shit. Did you make sure you weren't on the Dairy Queen Texas Facebook? Oh.

I was going to say, did you go to the corporate office physically and scream outside the building? Well, yeah. What I did, me and 13,000 of my closest friends stormed the dairy queen and we started throwing stuff through the windows let us in we yelled we the people have had enough we screamed and they still wouldn't yeah and then it didn't just then we got inside

but then we just stood around for about 45 minutes and they walked us out that was it and now Eric can't fly anywhere. So I've been to Joylet, Illinois, and I know what it's like. How'd you get back? I have work on Monday. Just gonna overthrow the Dairy Queen and get to work tomorrow.

No big deal. Overthrow the Dairy Monarchy? This is a dairy republic! Where is the dairy queen? Off with her head! Here's the thing. They do it because they love Dairy Queen. That's why they have to destroy it.

Yep. I love Dairy Queen so much. They're doing it to defend Dairy Queen. I want to burn it to the ground. So that way it's... still... we can. Well, the principles of Dairy Queen are so monumental and steadfast. Right.

You would you would never go against them unless you needed to. Right. Unless you were like upset all the rules of dairy queen are null and void except when they apply to me after i fucked it up and didn't go through with it either way don't tread on me yeah either way i will not be held responsible now is the time for unity be held responsible. Now is the time for unity. This is going to be such a time capsule. This is great. Dairy Queen. This really is a boring dystopia.

Dairy Queen really needs to be more like McDonald's McFlurry. Because they just mix it all together. You know what I mean? They mix it up. They put the, you know, you want some M&M's in there? We'll throw some M&M's. It doesn't matter.

Any candy. Just mix it all together. Just don't hold it upside down. Right. That's. Very fragile. There's a very clear warning on the side of the cup that says top. Yep.

And that needs to be up. Anyway, we should stick to food. We just talked about food. Yeah, that's all food related stuff. What do you want? And not only was it food. Food for thought. Yeah, I'm thinking.

As we just learned, if you try to go a layer deeper, your brain can start to hurt. You see the cracks. What I like about this episode is the subtlety that we've been kind of weaving through out. We're talking about a lot of stuff without talking about a lot of stuff. Yeah, it's true. It's smart. This is a real thinking man show. Hey, we're just like Joe Rogan.

We're just like him. All right. Can you tell us about getting the food? Yeah. I went to the Dairy Queen down the street. Joe Rogan. We're just like him. Alright. Can you tell us about getting the food? Yeah, I went to the Dairy Queen down the street. What was that like? I went to the Dairy Queen down the street and got it. I mean, do we want to get into the food? What do you want to...

We should probably... I mean, we should probably... He ordered it. Uh-huh. We ate it. Uh-huh. I think we should review it. Uh-huh.

There's a Dairy Queen not too far from here. I went there. Take it away. Damn. Alright. I think we should review the. There's a Dairy Queen not too far from here. I went there. Take it away. Damn. All right. I think we should review the blizzard first. Yeah, review the blizzard first. You want to do it in two segments or two parts?

Like we each go with the blizzard and then we do the rotisserie chicken bites? You know what? It's very odd, but we live in very odd times. I think we should try it. You know what I mean? Let's shake it up. Let's shake it up. Or maybe not. Who knows? Let's shake it up. Let's shake it up. Or,

or maybe not. Who knows? Let's shake it upside down. See what, see what falls out. Um, the blizzard was a blizzard. It was chocolate flavored.

It had little bits of, I guess, I guess that was brownie dough. Um, yeah, I didn't notice any choco chunks, but it had a, at some points, I guess that was the Cocoa Fudge.

I don't know. It kind of tastes like brownie batter at some points. Mine wasn't like fully mixed. It definitely had the vanilla soft serve to Blizzard perfection in there. But like they didn't mix it all the way into where it wasn't mixed with the other stuff anymore. Um, but I mean, it's a fucking blizzard. It was fine.

It was a tasty wintertime treat. Uh, I thought it was, I thought it was a 65, a 65. Okay. Yeah. It was wrong with a blizzard. It's not my favorite. Like I don't, I don't usually go for chocolate, but I go for Reese's. But whatever. Which is chocolate.

No. Chocolate and peanut butter. Oh. What the fuck is that? You had me on the first half. I didn't forget. I didn't forget. Chocolate and peanut butter. I don't go for chocolate.

I go for Reese's. I don't know. Chocolate and peanut butter. I'm going to go for chocolate. I go for Reese's. I don't know if you ever had a Reese's Blizzard, but there's not a lot of chocolate in it. I'm just going to move on. What are you eating? Chocolate? No, I'm eating a Reese's cup. What? I don't know why you say it like that's weird.

I think there's a very distinct- That's very weird, it's chocolate It's chocolate I'm not just eating chocolate though I'm eating Reese's which is chocolate and peanut butter But you said you don't like chocolate And chocolate is a Main component of it Yeah but when they put the

When they make a Reese's Blizzard They're not doing, let me put some chocolate in here and then some peanut butter. They're putting Reese's in it. And so you end up with a vanilla soft serve to Blizzard perfection with some Reese's in it. It's not chocolatey. It's not chocolatey. Blizzard. You know what I hate?

I fucking hate jelly. Love peanut butter and jelly. It's my favorite. It's my favorite snack pretty dope Liz you know what we're gonna leave it up to our audience they're gonna talk about it they're gonna debate it

send all of your thoughts and debates to Eric. At Eric Bedore on Twitter. He'll get them to us. They're going to get really riled up. There's going to be a lot of people agreeing with Jordan. There's going to be a lot of people agreeing with me. And we're not going to see or care about any of it. But Eric will.

Someone's going to listen to this. This first person that downloads this at 2 a.m., if you got an alert that said, ding, you're the first person in the world to have this listened to, and you went, I got to chime in right now, we're 12 days past it. We're never going to think about it again.

Never going to matter again. By the time you have something to say about this, this will be a long-forgotten conversation that we can never take apart of. It's never going to matter again. By the time you have something to say about this, this will be a long forgotten conversation that we can ever take apart of. I will probably, I'll probably read it and be like, what the fuck are they talking about? Yeah, Jordan is going to go, yeah, here's chocolate, what the fuck? Jordan will agree with Michael.

Look, it's vanilla soft serve. I didn't know what was in it as I was eating it. It went, this is brownie, and then this other stuff isn't brownie. That's the only way I could tell them apart. I wasn't like, ooh, choco chunk. Ooh, cocoa fudge blend. It was brownie, not brownie. But it was also, it was fine. It was tasty.

Uh, 75. 75. Okay. Well, that's an average score of 70 for the, uh, Blizzard. Um, Michael, since you went. Quick math. So, so you went second that time. Why don't you go first?

You know, unprecedented times. Dude, we're going crazy here. Man. Okay. Okay. So, the rotisserie-style chicken bits, bites. They were bits and bites. Again, DQs come up a lot just as like a potential

because it is a big Texas thing. Yep. They're all over the place. But we always needed a food. We needed a food to get in there. And so this was it with the rotisserie style chicken bites. So I pulled up today and everybody was standing around, just hanging out, you know, enjoying their blizzards.

Jordan was outside, didn't want to be, but he was. He stuck it out. First thing he said to me was, I can get in my car, but I won't. And Eric, you said, hey, I texted you. I don't know if you saw it or not. And I said, absolutely not. I don't text and drive. And what did you say to me when I got here?

I said that I went to the Dairy Queen to get the rotisserie-style chicken bites. And they don't serve them at this Dairy Queen. Not only not serve them, they didn't know what they were. No, I said, do you guys have the rotisserie-style chicken bites? And the woman went, what? And I said, they're like a limited thing. I just saw they're like a limited thing, the rotisserie-style chicken bites. And she said, no, I don't think I've heard of that.

And I started looking at the menu, and I started going, oh. Uh-oh. They don't have them. So I bought the blizzards because we have to at least get the blizzards. And then we figure out, hey, we gotta go find, you know, we gotta at least get the one thing. We'll get the rest of it later. So we got here. Go to another DQ.

Right. So I called another DQ and I said, hi, do you guys have the rotisserie-style chicken bites? And the woman said, steak fingers? And the woman said, steak fingers? And I... No. Reese's. And I think I said, what?

And then I said... Small bites of chicken. Could I offer you steak? The rotisserie style chicken bites. They're a limited a steak? The rotisserie-style chicken bites. They're a limited-time thing. They're like unbreaded chicken bites. And she said, what? And I said, limited-time rotisserie.

Did you tell her you contacted corporate about it? So, I have a sneaking suspicion that they do not have them in DQs in Texas. And I'm going to get messages from people going, they had it at mine. I understand they had it at yours. I understand they had it at yours. They did not have it at mine. I don't go to yours. You live in Arlington or some shit, and I don't go there.

So I don't know what to tell you. Why didn't you drive up to Arlington? It would have been a quick six-hour trip for you to go up to Arlington and come back. DQ in Texas is different and weird. And it's like, oh, last night I downloaded the app because it's like order ahead. I went on their website, order ahead on the app. Great.

Downloaded the app, put in the zip code, found the DQ that's down the street. And it said, oh, Dairy Queen of Texas here doesn't accept online orders through the app. Okay. So I tried a different one and it said the same thing and i kept zooming out and they were all gray until you got to like oklahoma or some shit and that's when the spoon started turning red and you went oh none of the texas ones take these online orders and then when i pulled up today at the dairy queen they had signs out front that said, order on the app. Curbside pickup. Order ahead.

I don't know what happened, but we did not get rotisserie-style chicken bites. Is there a separate Dairy Queen Texas app? Not that I know of. DQTX. Damn. That's it. My favorite convention. So then we entered aX. Damn. That's it. My favorite convention. So then we entered a dilemma that we've never faced before.

No, we've never run into this before. And that's why I didn't just make a call at the Dairy Queen for the pivot because I wanted to talk to you guys about it because it's fucking unusual that this happened. He brought it to the table. Yes. He brought it to the table. So we all have other things we have to do today. Yeah.

So we couldn't just go willy. As much as I would have loved to just go willy-nilly going to all the DQs, I wish we weren't in a pandemic because we could all hop in a car. That would have been, clear my schedule. That would have been an insane episode.

I'm driving around the DQs. Yep. That would have been so fun. Yep. That would have been fun. That would have been fun. It would have been fun times for everyone. So we thought we could reschedule. We had a couple other places we could have gone to,

but they're too far, and we didn't have time to do it. I mean, Eric's got a hard out in about 13 minutes. We're good, though. We're going to make it. Yeah, we got plenty of time. We got plenty of time. And I was like, what the fuck? and I don't remember his Nick Nick or Jordan When one of those one of those Patriots said I was like this is gonna piss me off and think oh what that you drove

All the way here to eat a blizzard Yeah, yeah, I'd like Michael Michael you said that Well, I was to like pack a bunch of equipment. Michael, you said that. That was you. Whoa, I was both sides of that conversation. A true patriot. He was a true patriot the whole way. You guys kept saying, why are you looking in your mirror? I was wearing the American flag as a cape, yes.

Because it's very cool. It's very cool. Very cool, very regular. So we made a judgment call that I think we all agreed was the right move to make. I agree. And it would maintain the sanctity of the show because this is a show where people, they come to us for information and for comfort of what can they eat, what should they be eating,

and it just didn't feel right to walk away. I would have been disappointed in myself. So, in place of the rotisserie chicken bites that don't exist, no coating required, if they existed, you wouldn't need to coat them, which is incredible. We just went and mcribs we got

mcrib that's so now mcrib is back and now you might wonder why is the episode still called rotisserie style chicken bites and the uh brownie dough blizzard because it's the same yeah it's the same reason we've been leading you on 53 minutes into this episode. Exactly. Right. We got tricked. You're going to get tricked.

Yep. Okay. I showed up today. Joke's on you. Equipment in my car, expecting. Joke's on you. Here's what I did say, right? Now, everything I said about the sanctity of the show is true.

I love this show. I'll die for this show. However, to put that in a second, quickly, you guys were all eating blizzards, and you're like, there's your blizzard, and I went, you know, what happened? You explained it, and I thought of everything I just said, but my first response was, but I'm hungry. Yeah. That was-

It's true. Michael was- You said it out loud also. I know. I'm just telling the audience. I was hungry. I was very excited to come here and eat food today know. I'm just telling the audience. I was hungry. I was very excited to come here and eat food today. And I was like, oh, no.

Yeah, the show. Fuck the show. Where's my lunch? I skipped breakfast for this. I skipped breakfast. Uh-huh. So, McRib, what do you give it? You know, ever heard of the McRib?

It's a slop of shit. It's got pickles and onions on it. And it's between two buns. This is probably the second McRib I've ever eaten. And the first time I had the McRib, I didn't like it at all. And I don't know if it was like the emotional journey that we were put through

today, but I thought it was pretty good today. Oh, and there's lots of sauce on it. Barbecue sauce. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A lot. A lot. Definitely didn't. I mean, I guess it tasted like chicken if it didn't have that sauce.

But who can really tell? I mean, and the McRib is not even rib meat, right? It's just like rib-shaped meat, I think is how they describe it. Yeah. Yeah, they squeeze it out into that weird rectangle. And then they flavor it with the sauce. And they throw some onions and pickles on it. Yeah, they squeeze it out into that weird rectangle. They flavor it with the sauce and they throw some onions and pickles on it. I thought it was a good little snack.

I'm not full. I'm not miserable. I didn't hate it. I can't say for sure that I endorse the ingredients of it as a healthy diet because who knows what it is. Has that been a thing that we've ever done on this show?

I mean, maybe not you guys, but I gotta look out for the uppity folks. I think it's clear I've sacrificed my body for this show. I think it's more than clear. I mean, look at you.

People beg me outside the show stop it's not this isn't even part of the show and I just keep saying for face jam and you say stop going to Wonder Burger at 2am on a Thursday we're not even eating there and I just say for face jam

I gotta do it for the show. Anyway, I'm probably I think you were supposed to go first. Do you want to rate it? Or are we going back to normal? I don't care. It was... I mean, you're going to give it a hundred because you love it. I enjoy the McRib. I don't love it.

I like it. I like the fanfare around it. I like how hotly debated it is, okay? Right. But it's fine. Is it food? Is it not food? It's fine.

The debate goes on. But you know what? I enjoyed this one, and I was hungry, and I'm feeling very hateful towards DQ right now. So I'm willing to reward McDonald's with it was pretty good 98.6. Oh my god. Wow, your body temperature?

That's pretty exciting. No, I usually sit at about 83. Oh, Jesus. Are you a lizard? I like to stay cool. When you're carrying around this much weight, your body needs to compensate. You have to stay cool. When you're carrying around this much weight, your body needs to compensate. You have to stay cool.

Yeah. We've talked about how the rating system has changed since the first episode. And so I'm trying to think of what to score this. And objectionably, I would give this... That's a word. I don't know if it applies, but it is a word. I think what I was trying to say is objectively. I think so, too. So just cut that, put that back there.

Yeah, we won't do that, but yeah, you're right. For sure. Objectively, I would rate this very middle of the road. Okay. But if you, the listener, if you were to go through what we went through today, step by step, as we described it, and then eat a McRib, you would also find yourself eating something that is not middle of the road,

but is in fact an 89. Oh, wow. Wow. Average score of 93.8 and Michael's fucking losing it. 94 for McRib. McRib with the big 93.8, a big 94 for McRib.

This is why we need to do that. Refused to review. And now it's in the top five. Oh, definitely. It might be number two. That's why we need to do that live stream where we

rate the food more objectively more objectionably you know what are you sniffing over there I watched Eric lean down I couldn't see the snack yet I watched him lean down and sniff and I got concerned and then I watched him recoil

like a snake ready to strike it must smell good I was like a cobra the whole time but what's weird is your face came back up, and it's all covered in white powder. TGIF, bro. Do you think we're going to wrap this up in the five minutes? Eric has left. He says three is his hard out.

Oh, I thought it was 2.30. No, no. Okay, we got plenty of time then. Why are you handing me a sausage? He needs to drive wherever he needs to go. Is this dog food? This looks like dog food. This does look like dog food. This does look like dog food.

That means it's dog food. Oh. That's how you know. Now, Nick, no. Give that to Kelly. Get that out of your mouth. Get that out of your mouth. Yeah, that's not for you.

You need to stop eating. What? Why are you here? I'm going to wait for Eric to get back in his car. I'm going to wait for Eric to get back in his car, and then I got a question. All right. Can I ask? Because we were saying Nick shouldn't eat this. Kelly should be eating this.

He's taking Kelly's little dog snack. What's going on with this show with our editors? What's going on? Are we cursed? No. This guy won't do it anymore. We had David. We had lost David. Now we have Kelly. I can't get attached to Kelly if she's gonna leave us too. Well, you can't keep toying with my emotions. Why won't he edit? Because the sauce

monkey baby was born and now we have to like, somebody has to step in while like he'd be- While he's here eating the food with us? Uh-huh. What you're saying makes sense if he's at home, not if he's here in the parking lot eating the food and sucking down these dog treats. He's right here. You can't have all this. Guys, I can't edit. I just had a baby. Oh, I'll come to the office and eat some fucking food. I got nothing but time. I'll come hang out. I'll chill.

You just like, you put the baby in the closet for a couple hours. You come and you eat a blizzard. You give it a rating. Easy. Oh, I can't edit it, though. I can't touch the stuff. So, these are Little Town Jerky Company snack sticks with hot wing seasoning from Samster8642. Um, you know, whenever...

Jerky comes in a lot of shapes. Uh-huh. It does. They come in, like... Usually not dog treat shape, though., whenever, jerky comes in a lot of shapes. Uh-huh. It does. They come in like. Usually not dog treat shape, though. They do, though. And I usually shy away from them. I just like good old, like, tough, but rippable jerky.

I don't like the jerky where I feel like my teeth are going to break. Uh-huh. Yep. Um, but then there's those weird, like, gooey jerky sticks. I don't like those either. It's like, it's kind of like the McRib. It's like, Jesus Christ, who was that? Who was that?

It's like vomiting over there. See, now he's interrupting the show. Now he's interrupting. You got that big head. Like that jerky stick, the gooey jerky stick, it's like they liquefied the jerky and then reformed it in that shape. I just like getting the raw like Jack Link's jerky or what have you.

I like it. Yes, Jack Link's is okay. I more eat it because they have a good relationship with Bigfoot, and I think that's very cool. That's very cool. Bigfoot was in all the commercials. Very playful relationship. It's very playful.

If Bigfoot endorses it, he's got to be like he's an environmentalist. They must be doing something right. But this is pretty good. It is spicy, though. I'm not that that's a bad thing. It's lingering. That's the hot wing seasoning. Yeah.

It just feels weird. I don't know why you would eat it in hot dog shape, because it still feels like you're eating a little hot dog. Well, I think when you describe it as dog food, it's like a treat. It's like what you give your dog is like a treat. Yeah. Fine.

I wouldn't go buy this. No. But I'm okay eating it. I've consumed almost the entire thing already. 55. Okay. Interesting. I was going to give it around a 70

because it's, yeah, it's perfectly fine. I do like the flavor. It's a little spicy. It's a good spice that lingers. Good for a little spice mouse like myself. So, yeah. 70? 70.

Yeah. You got? 70. Yeah. You got a 62.5. I think that's, you know, for a thing that's like a Slim Jim but different. Whatever. It's no McRib, though. Yeah. I want to thank Samster for sending in that snack. He also sent in another flake bar that we can split.

We already reviewed that because that's Mudmouth. That's the Mudmouth bar. Mudmouth. Oh. Yeah. So we can have that after this, but we already reviewed that. Dude, that was almost a year ago. Isn't that crazy?

We get to share Mudmouth. Mm-hmm. Uh-oh. That was in March. That's fucking wild. That blew my mind. Yeah. Yeah.

It's yucky. Yeah. It was right before the end times. Yeah. The new times took over. Yeah. It's yucky. Yeah. It was right before the end times. Yeah. The new times took over. Crazy. Well, if you want to send us snacks, you can.

And we might have to do a smack attack soon because I have a lot. And there's more inside that I can't go fucking get today. There's so many. Why didn't Michael get them? Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah, why didn't you tell me? Because I didn't think about, because I was trying to figure out what we were going to do. My time has passed, Eric. My time has passed. My time is expired now.

You're going to get yelled at. I'm going to get yelled at. And we don't want any of that. So if you want to send us snacks to review, you can. Send us to Face Jam Care of Eric Badour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. Do not send us bugs. People have been very good about not sending us bugs. Let's keep that streak alive.

But. But. People have been very good about not sending us bugs. Let's keep that streak alive. But given the discussion in this segment of Snack Attack, they might start sending us dog food. Don't send us dog food. We might need to nip that in the bud. Here's the thing. Don't send us bugs. Well, okay, I'm agreeing with you there.

It sounded like you were going to be asking for it. No, no, no. It sounded like he was starting saying, do send us dog food. We're going to have to start saying don't send us dog food either. Tell me if I'm wrong on this, Jordan. We can agree, you and I. Don't send

bugs. Don't send dog food. Definitely. Do send your thoughts about the chocolate or peanut butter thing to Eric. Yes. Exclusively. Do send Eric any pictures or information on the rotisserie chicken bites

if you got them at your location and tell him to have them at my Dairy Queen. Send that. I'm going to block and unblock so many fucking people in like the next two weeks. If you live in Joy-let, tell Eric how to pronounce it. Yeah.

And send me a, well, Eric, he'll pass along to me. Send Eric a picture of Joy. I don't want any of it. Who is she? Leave me alone. Leave me alone. But you can hit up Face Jam on Twitter at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date on everything going on with Face Jam.

And you can also go to store.roosterteeth.com for all your Face Jam needs. Bunch of stuff still on sale there. So check it out. There you go. Wow. Wow. What a nice, what a nice, neat. By the book episode.

A real by the book down the middle up. Yep. Good stuff. Nothing but food in this one. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Nothing but food. It's one final note. Last night, I had shepherd's pie for Yeah. Oh, you know what? Nothing but food. One final note.

Last night, I had shepherd's pie for dinner. What would you rate that? Where'd you get it from? Murray Calendars? I would rate it a 75. Wow. I would probably go higher if there weren't celery in it. Uh-huh.

I get that. Yeah. But it was good enough. There was enough other things where i would eat it and go this is good and there's that celery yep man what the fuck what the fuck's the point of celery right i don't know just to piss me off just to piss me off yep tell me about it anyway rate and subscribe tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food sometimes we rate foods that aren't in the title tell your friends we don't eat the food but we don't eat

the food on the podcast yeah let them know that we don't eat the food. But we don't eat the food on the podcast. Yeah, let them know that we don't eat food on the podcast. People think we do. We don't. That's all. Oh, go back and watch those van episodes too if you haven't. Those are fun. Or watch them again if you already have.

Fuck. Who cares? Put them on in the background and like go do chores. Yeah, there you go. I like it. Well, that's it. Michael, any last words? Something extra for pushing those van episodes?

No, I just thought that was like, you know, why not? Those are good apps. I don't want people to forget about them. I thought they were really good. Taking something off the top? I think he's taking something off the bottom. What does that mean? Because we're at the end of the production cycle.

Michael, is that? No. Cold. Cold. Michael's at, no. Cold, cold, cold. Oh, no, Michael, come back. Michael's driving away. Michael, don't drive away. Michael, stop. I forgot to talk about how he couldn't park today. Michael, there's a car behind you.

Michael. I'm out of here. I can see behind me, Eric. Yeah, no, I know. I said I don't text and drive. I didn't say I don't text and drive in reverse in a parking lot. I mean, you weren't texting. You were recording a podcast.

Yeah, that's what I meant. I fucked it up. Okay. Well, bye. All right, go ahead and fix that. Don't pod and drive. Bye, everybody. We'll see you next time.