100% Eat - Dog Haus Oktoberwurst

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Dog Haus Oktoberwurst so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about GETTING THE VAN! Sponsored by HelloFresh ( http://hellofresh.com/facejam80 and use code facejam80) and Hawthorne (http://hawthorne.co/, code facejam). Get the Face Jam Van shirt here: http://bit.ly/FJvanBlack OR http://bit.ly/FJvanGold. Check out the Face Jam Van video at http://bit.ly/FJ_Van. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. That comes out next week. This episode comes out first and then the thing. Hey, welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. Thanks to HelloFresh and Hawthorne for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jemmels, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? I'm not a superstitious fellow, but at the beginning of this episode, a grackle flew overhead carrying a tater tot. Did you see him?

Is that the sign of the end times or something? Well, I mean, it would be a little more suspicious if we hadn't been feeding him tater tots. Having full scope of what transpired here uh i don't think it's that weird eric and i threw a bunch of tater tots with some graggle he was he was yucking it up we were feeding him tater tots for like minutes trying to get cool pictures yeah eric got picture he'd grab a tater i mean he or she i don't know oh that's a male you can tell by the coat whoa he'd grab a tater i mean he or she i don't know oh that's a male you can tell by the coat whoa he'd grab a tater and then sprint yeah he ran away he ran away but then when he ran he disappeared and then all of a sudden from where the grackle went even better appeared and was

like hey guys here i am and it was like what happened not only Not only did that happen. Maybe I was the grackle. But in between, that's what he was alluding to, in between him running away, the grackle ran away. You turned back, looked at Jordan's car, and he wasn't in it, and you said, where's Jordan? And then he came from where the grackle was, and we went, oh, my God. And he was chewing on a tater tot, and he's like, I just found this on the ground.

Some guy chewed it. It's really weird. Some just found this on the ground. It's really weird. Some idiot left this on the ground. Wow. So, by the way, today we're reviewing Dog House's October Worst. And also we had tater tots, which is why we're chucking them around.

What is this place? It's a hot dog place. And they sell hot dogs. I've never heard of it or been there. What kind of joint is it? Is it a drive-thru kind of place? Is it a wiener schnitzel deal? Originally, it was just a little hot dog place,

and then they started opening hot dog, they called them doghouse beer gardens, and it's a big beer tap room, and they do hot dogs. The one that we got ours from is from what they call, it's a kitchen mix, so it's a lot of different restaurants. They got a lot of different forms of this restaurant. Yeah, so it's very confusing. There aren't a lot of them, and they do hot dogs. And it's doghouse,

two words, H-A-U-S. Yes. Because if you type like, you know, I knew there was one in Austin that we were going to. If you type doghouse, you get a lot of, there are a lot of other places in Austin called doghouse that kind

of maybe sell hot dogs, but it's not this place.'s two words and that's very important which i learned halfway through the third fact and had to go back and make sure i put spaces in everything finding information on dog house to write the facts was incredibly difficult this this place has been around for like 10 years and there's still like not a lot of them and it's hard to find information about. I thought maybe you were giving us facts

of a different place called Dog House and halfway through you just type, ignore the first two and a half facts, I just realized. That would have been a way better, that's a good bit. If I could go back in time. That's where I thought you were going with it, too. Like, if there was like, if everyone got one time machine wish and you could go back and change anything, I think that would be mine.

That would be it? That's your biggest regret in your life so far? Damn, dude, it just happened. So far? No, that's the only one. That's the only regret. Everything else has been fine. Yeah.

Well, that's what so far means, yeah. No, I mean like, and I'm not, no, but I'm not planning on having any more regrets. Okay. I'm just saying you still said it in the past tense. Not like it's going to be good forever. I think Michael's going to make you regret saying this. Yeah. So far I am.

Maybe I, maybe I see, I do need to rewind it to change my two regrets. Uh oh. Yeah. But if I fix the one, then this one's solved also. Who knew that the only two regrets in your life would be so close together? It's crazy. Oh, man. So just just from the look of it, just from the dog I was presented without getting into the taste of it, it is a much, I would say superior or at least a, I don't know,

a lot more like real looking of like what you'd expect then, then wiener schnitzel wiener schnitzel was like, I would call it, I'd call it higher end premium, you know, I would call it food at least, but yeah, I'd call it,

they, they put some effort into it. Yeah, definitely. They put a lot of effort into the packaging. Yeah, very interesting. It was in a sleeve and then in a box. Yep. They know how much millennials love unboxing shit, so.

I know, dude. They were like, look at Apple. Put it in another box. It did kind of look like a, yeah, a little cell phone. Did you guys peel the plastic off of yours before you ate it? Oh man, I love that. I ate the plastic. I love the smell of it.

Yeah, I peeled it off and smelled it, but then I ate it anyway. Ugh, God. Everything about this place is, hey, this is a franchise and it started in LA, and you should take a picture and tell your friends that you ate this thing. Like, everything about it is that when you slide it out it's instantly grammable

like there's no it comes perfectly pristine and you're just like let me snap a pic and then get to eating it's funny because you know it kind of comes across as like even you could in my opinion tell from the tone Eric had you know it's a real Instagram place.

Like, hey, look, I'm eating this hot dog. Take a picture of this hot dog. Yeah, but he loves it. Well, I know. But also, if you're just there to eat a hot dog, you're like, fucking jerk-offs. But here we are doing a whole podcast on the hot dog. You're like, oh, wow, put it right on Instagram, asshole. All right, give it to the social team so they can post it on Facebook.

Yeah, well, we would never take pictures of the food. Oh, no. Oh. Oh. Now, I will say, I think you are paying for that extra dog sleeve and it being instantly grateful. You have to. You have to.

Yeah, it's all lumped in. For four dogs, their October worst, which is their limited time hot dog, and four tater tots, it was, I think, about $53. What? Holy shit. Holy hell. All right. And here's a thing that I feel like we should mention, too. Now, the hot dog, it was pretty big.

It was a pretty decent-sized hot dog. There was a good amount of toppings on it and such you definitely are paying for the sleeve I feel like all the money is going to the sleeve the only thing in that which I don't it's kind of forced upon you it's the biggest bag of tater tots I have ever seen

in my life who is asking for this many tots a serving now I don't know if it came in a size. Was it like a large or just here's the tots? Just bag. Bag is the size. There must have been 50 tater tots in a single serving.

I'm not kidding. It's the opposite of every other time you've ever gotten tater tots from any other restaurant in your entire life. It is. I feel like every time I get tater tots, I go, man, I should have just gotten fries. I would have gotten more. If this is the bag the fries come in to, you would never

be able to finish the amount of french fries they would give you. It would be astronomical. This bag probably weighed like two pounds. It's ridiculous. It's so much. You handed it to me and i couldn't believe it it's like it's like a sandbag usually when we do an episode we start eating we get through most of the food and then if we like it you know we're finishing it and whatever if we don't like it we kind of stop

and whatever we enjoyed the tater tots but michael just looked at us and went i can't keep i can't keep eating these i can't like i physically can't i had to throw mine away because i was going to keep eating them and i was already full yeah they're perfectly like the bite size they're a good size they just it just the bag never ran out and i just kept eating them and like every goddamn episode i just just hear Nick go, I'm going to eat them all. I'll eat them all. Yeah. And then he usually regrets it.

He always regrets it. However, now he's going to say, why did I eat all those tater tots? I shouldn't have done that. Anyway, they gave you so many, you have to feed them to the grackles. There's no other option. You did. That's why we were checking. See, Jordan threw us away. Eric and I were feeding nature. Yep. to the grackles. There's no other option. You did. That's why we were checking. See, Jordan threw us away.

Eric and I were feeding nature. Yep. Now the grackle's going to come back tomorrow looking for those greasy tots. That grackle's going to die of a heart attack. Yeah, he is. He's going to die of a broken heart. What's Eric doing with his phone? I'm trying to take a picture of this monkey in his car.

With the bag of fucking tots? Yep. Oh, shit. We need to talk about what happened after the Fazoli's episode. Oh my Jesus God. Yeah, I don't think we talked about it at all, did we? No, we haven't. We haven't. We haven't. No, we need to.

So, okay. So, this is crazy. So, it was like I was almost disappointed this wasn't in the episode but it was over so we finished the fasoli's episode and we got out even though even though several times on the episode you'll hear me state i refused to get out of the car to take a picture i then got out of the car to take a picture and that was the picture that that eric took and then they they used on face jam pod of us standing outside of fazoli's. So it's Jordan and I in the parking lot and Nick's in the background. And this woman at Fazoli's, I didn't see her.

She was like outside or whatever. She starts screaming about a monkey because she sees Nick wearing a monkey mask. And she's like, hey, monkey. Hey, monkey. And we all just kind of look at each other and ignore. I grew up in New York, New Jersey. People yell and scream. You just kind of look at each other and ignore, like, you know, I grew up in New York, New Jersey. People yell and scream. You just kind of ignore them. That's the best way to deal with them if they're not right next

to you. Because it only makes them worse to engage them. Yeah, we were not close to this person. No, we were so far away. We were maybe 50 feet away. Yeah. Without saying anything to each other, we all just kind of look and go, that's weird, and walk away. And she just keeps screaming. And then she starts

going, ooh, ooh, ooh, ee, ee, ee, monkey! Ooh, ooh, ooh, monkey, monkey, hey, monkey! And she just keeps going and going and going. Like, she was furious. We're getting in the car at this point, and still I hear her, ooh, ooh, ee, ee,

monkey! Dude, I was, like like parked in front of Nick and like I'm getting in my car and he's getting in his car. And we were just staring at each other, shaking our heads like, what the fuck? And this woman is still screaming going, monkey! Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh. And I'm like, is that the weirdest thing you've ever, like, I. Yeah, it's like, what's her end game it was so

what does she want from us yeah we got a monkey she wanted acknowledgement and we refused to give it and even as we were like driving away she was making monkey noises at us she was standing in front of her car

in front of the drive through Italian restaurant, she's screaming monkey noises. So the thing is, too, like, again, Jordan said we were at least 50 feet, maybe further, and we could hear her. There was people all around her because, as I said, Imagine being in the Fazoli's. They're all just going like, what the fuck is this woman talking about?

Who's shouting outside the Fazoli's? Did someone's monkey get out? Dude, that was crazy. So in case you were wondering what kind of person goes to Fazoli's. Yep. It's a woman who screams monkey noises at you in a parking lot. In fact, the people inside the restaurant were probably like, yo, there a monkey out there? I got to see this.

And as soon as we left, people were probably pouring out of the restaurant. And she's like, I saw it. It just drove away. Holy shit. So that's the Capra on the Fazoli's episode. But here we are with Doghouse. Yeah, well, that's good because I don't know shit about Doghouse.

Well, then hang on. Let me tell you, we're going to learn a lot this episode about Doghouse and other things. When? After the facts, oh okay yeah after the fact so we got to get through the facts and then we're gonna learn we're gonna learn here's the thing you'll learn in the facts and then i'll fucking teach you afterwards oh dang oh all right all right eric's kind of losing his cool with jordan today jordan was j Jordan was giving him some grief earlier.

I barely got into the call, and, you know, virtual punches were being thrown. He got mad because his internet no work. Yeah, yep. He's getting riled up again. He's looking at me. Jordan, so have you ever been to Dog House or no? No, I had never even heard of it.

Damn. I'm in the same boat as you. That's two episodes in a row. It's a fortnight. I apologize. I know. It's four weeks. Wild. That wasn't planned. Alright, we'll get into the doghouse facts. Maybe we'll learn something and maybe the audience will learn something too. Fact number one. Boasting more than just run-of-the-mill hot dogs,

doghouse offers a variety of plant-based, impossible and beyond meat options so everyone can enjoy. Wow. That's great. I can't see his face, but it looked like he was leaning into Jordan. Like, how do you like that? He's doing the thing where it's like, eh? Eh?

Good fact. I thought that was a very good fact, Jordan. Then you guys can have your vegan, everyone can have a vegan meal and you can eat a regular hot dog. I got to say, I kind of got in trouble because I told my wife, who's vegan, where I was going. And she was like, oh, look this place up. And she found the Impossible and Beyond Meat options. And she was like, so when you go, pick me up something. And then yesterday I reminded her that the episode was was happening

and she's like oh don't forget to get me something and i was like i got bad news eric's gonna go get it we're gonna meet in the parking lot that i'm gonna feed him a hot dog in a parking lot now i was like i don't i don't know if I can get Eric to get you something. Yeah. Now, let me ask you this. Is this Impossible and Beyond Meats or Impossible and Beyond? What's the difference between the two? They're two different brands. Impossible is the other.

Very rarely does a restaurant carry both. Yep. What's the difference? I'm confused. It's their name brands. It's Coke and Pepsi. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah that it's their name brands. It's just, it's Coke and Pepsi. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Gotcha. I find Impossible is a little more authentic and tastes a little better. Has a little more flavor. Well, if you go here, you can just get a regular hot dog. Oh, yeah. I'm just saying for the times where I'm forced to eat these. I'll say this too, though.

Just from like a layman's term, Impossible sounds more impressive. I agree. How'd you make that? It's impossible. We just did. Here we are. Going beyond isn't nearly as impressive as impossible. And the name beyond meat also implies that there's a bed meat and a bath meat.

Jesus Christ. I'm gonna give him that one. I like that. I like that a lot. I just had the funniest interaction where like I watched Eric think about it come to the conclusion that he liked it

but so I'm next to Eric and then Jordan's next to him but Jordan's a little behind like parked so I can't see him so Eric was smiling and then I slowly saw Jordan's head peek up

to check on us to see to see if we liked his joke he was like guys did you laugh I didn't see oh they're laughing okay saw Jordan's head peek up to check on us to see if we liked his joke. He was like, guys, did you laugh? I didn't see. Oh, they're laughing. Okay.

I liked it. It took me a second. I came around. Good job. Yeah, thanks. I read a tweet, so. Oh, Jesus. Never mind.

That's not my joke. Next act. Oh, God. Founded by friends Hagap Girogosian, Kwasim Riaz, and Andre Wiener, the first dog house opened in Pasadena in 2010. These names are more of a mouthful than those hot dogs. Am I right, fellas? I think I tried to romance Hagop Gareg Gossin in Mass Effect 2. Oh, shit. I was excited when I saw the names. Wow, Nick loved that one.

I was excited when I saw the names. It's a big Mass head. I knew Jordan was going to read them, or I knew Michael was going to read them, but I knew someone was going to read them, or I knew Michael was going to read them, but I knew someone was going to read them. So I was excited. Nobody was going to get this right. I was going to say, usually I'm the one struggling with the names in the press section, but Jesus Christ.

These are some names. Where do you think Haggop's name is from? Haggop. It's probably a super common name in Pasadena. Oh, are we talking about Haggup from Pasadena? Which one? Yeah. Can you be

a little more specific? We're out of Haggup license plates. Doghouse partnered with Michelin Star Chefs in a series of collabs bringing new food to the restaurant called Kick-Ass Chefs. I have a similar collab called Eat-Ass Chefs, but no one will allow us

in any establishment as of this writing. Now let me ask you this, Eric. Was this fact sheet, was this a late night or an early morning? This was like an afternoon yesterday because I went, ah, shit, my Tuesdays. Oh, my God.

My Tuesdays, I know I had to get my homework done on time, which is ridiculous. It's like the first time in history. That raises even more questions because you get those first lines like, kick-ass chefs, and then the thought process I imagine is, how do I riff off this? I could go anywhere. I could really do anything with this. How about eat ass? What you just did was probably three times as long as it took me to

come up with what ass chefs. You probably finished writing ass. It was like, eat ass. That's the next line. I'm already writing it. Yep. In a section of their website titled, We Keep Our Meat Clean, Doghouse asserts that their sausages are 100% nitrate and antibiotic free.

Wienerschnitzel has kind of the same thing, but it's a link to that clip from The Simpsons where they show hot dogs being made from a rat tail, raccoon hands, a pigeon head, and the tongue of a boot for some reason? Why would they do that? Oh, man. Wienerschnitzel's a weird place, guys.

Yeah. No, and like I said, the thing that lost points for Wienerschnitzel for me is they're a hot dog place. Yeah. There's not a lot of hot dog places or places you can get a hot dog in Austin. I'm pretty much cornered. They got the market.

You get a hot dog at Sonic. You go to Sonic. It's not great, but it's Sonic. I guess it's a burger joint first, but they got burger. They got chicken. They got a ton of sides like onion rings, mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers. They got a lot of variety. You don't expect them to do everything well, including the hot dogs.

Right. But Wienerschnitzel, all they got is hot dogs, and they were not great. It was disappointing. And I believe I rated them low. So I'm glad you're really digging into them here. They deserve it. I hope they feel bad. They should feel bad. And maybe if they listen to our episode, they can clean up their act a little bit.

Final fact, CNN ranked Dog House as one of the top five places to eat a hot dog in the United States. Looking at the rest of the list, it was unfortunately beat out by first place, quote, at home and runner up, not anywhere. Nick's dying over there Stupid Top five places to eat a hot dog In the United States Is so specific And so wide Where did in a hot tub rank

Just out of curiosity So specific and so wide. Where did in a hot tub rank? Just out of curiosity. I think it was probably an honorable mention. Hot dog in a hot tub? That makes sense. Well, you could cook them while you sat in the hot tub. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow, Nick was really into that idea. He's like, I'm eating one. I dive down. I get some more. Uh-oh. You go bobbing for hot dogs more It's got a fish around a little bit grab one take a bite oh, that's not a hot dog I forgot I wasn't alone oh No, well what did you guys think about the facts did you learn a lot about doghouse um I? Learned that I guess other people had heard of them before

Yeah, and apparently it's a top five place to eat a hot dog. Yeah, not top five hot dog. No. But top five place to eat a hot dog. Can I make a hot dog at home and bring it to Dog House and just enjoy the atmosphere? They actually recommend you bring a hot dog from an outside vendor. Don't eat the fucking hot dogs, please. But they give them to you in case you forget yours.

Right. Just in case. B-Y-O-D. So there you have it. Dog facts. I'm ashamed you laughed at that. I got nothing else to say about that. How many, like, what's the, where does this place exist?

What's the region? Yeah, where are the, give me some stats. How many restaurants they got. There aren't a lot, but they started in Pasadena, opened a second one in Old Pasadena, which is just a different part of Pasadena, and then started spreading around the U.S. Recently, this is like a very recent opening in Austin.

Dallas was their other one that was out this far that opened this way. I think they have a couple in Colorado. They're still trying to spread. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's a hot dog. It's a hot dog place.

It can't be like who's. Yeah, and I mean, they only opened 10 years ago, which isn't long in like a fast food chain. So there you have it. Well, good for them. No. So what do we move on to now? What does it say on the sheet? Well, when we move on, it says spittin'

I threw up a little bit in my mouth because I don't I can't comprehend what I'm reading here. It says spittin' silly slash van segment. We just took this out last week. Not only did we take it out, but he refused to ever put it in. You heard his tirades, his tantrums, his mental breakdowns every single episode.

We moved on. Are you trying to win? We won. You know, he admitted defeat. He didn't get us the van. We won. And we said we're never going to bring it up again. And the next episode, he writes van segment.

This is just petty is what this is. Hey, guys. I have to tell you right now. In the last week, a lot of things have happened. A lot of things moved and shaked. And a lot of people have been scrimping and saving. And there's been... What does that mean?

There's been a lot of movement. And I can reveal to you now that we do indeed have a face jam van. Wow. Yeah, right. I'm sorry. Was that Nick who said wow? I think that was Nick I thought it was Jordan but then Jordan kind of

talked over it and I thought wait a minute Nick's buying into the fake news too quickly no no no this is real news right after this we'll take you guys over and you can look at the van we have the actual face jam van we have the full on face jam van We have the full-on Face Jam van.

We have it? We have it. And we already recorded the video? Yeah, right. I can't believe Jordan doesn't know because the video's already out. The video's out. How doesn't he know? What kind of video comes out at 3 a.m.?

The video? I bet the video won't come out at 3 a.m. Yeah, I bet it won't either. I bet it won't. If you're a real 3 a.m. jammer, you're going, there's no video. If you're a true jammer. Because there isn't. Yeah.

You've got to wait like seven hours. So we were approached. We said, Voodoo Ranger is fans of Face Jam. And they said, let's make this van happen. So what we've done in partnering with Voodoo Ranger, we've created the ultimate Voodoo Ranger face jam van. We have a van. We've also done a full video where you guys do a whole bunch of cool stuff

to make the van awesome, to make it the ultimate face jam van. Whoa, you're throwing up too? Okay, Rick. Yeah, I can't believe it. I'm so excited. To make it the ultimate face jam van. Whoa, you're throwing up too? Okay, Rick. Yeah, I can't believe it. I'm so excited. To make it the ultimate face jam van. And then, guys, on top of that. What else are you going to tell us that we already recorded?

What else did we do? We have done four extra episodes of face jam. This is a Fortnite podcast. That means every other week. Not anymore. What the darn heck? We are off every other week. Guys, on that off week, you're going to get a special episode of Face Jam

where we are going to eat different foods that aren't limited time and rate them with different Voodoo Ranger beers. But guess what? We have guests never before seen on face jam or you can't watch this oh uh excuse me i said seen for a reason michael because these four episodes are video vodcasts that you'll be able to watch is that what vodcast oh my god jordan can't believe it he also doesn't realize there's like 300 people in this parking lot today. This is so many people, yeah.

Wow. So you're telling me, Eric, starting really this week, today, this week you're going to get like eight more Face Jams in a row? Yes, in a row. In a row there will be Face jam content every week for eight weeks. Incredible. That's amazing. Wow.

Wow, and it's all thanks to Voodoo Ranger and no one else. No, I also did it. Well, hang on, hang on, hang on. Give credit where credit's due. Thanks to us too, Jordan. We did it. Yeah, us. All three of us.

Well, me and Jordan. Okay. Well, all right. Okay. We're the ones who. And Nick because it. Yeah, us. All three of us. Well, me and Jordan. Okay. Well, all right. Okay. We're the ones who. And Nick. Yeah, he helped. Okay.

Okay, Nick too, I guess. The three of us. Yeah, me, Michael, and Nick. No, I'm the one who. Okay. Sorry, idiot. There's four of us. Tony.

We forgot about Tony. Don't forget about Tony. He's the of us. Tony! We forgot about Tony! Don't forget about Tony. He's the real hero. If you haven't watched the video yet, keep an eye out for a special appearance from our friend Tony. He's the star of the show. He's the star of my heart. Yep.

So that's what's happening. To recap, with this episode, you're going to get eight weeks of Face Jam. No off time, baby. So it's this episode this week. Next week is the Voodoo Ranger Face Jam Van supplementary episode, the vodcast. That means extra if you're afraid of that word he just used. And then after that, it's a regular episode.

And then the next episode is another vodcast, a regular episode, another vodcast. I think I'm picking up the pattern, yeah. So we are, here's the thing. We don't want to interrupt our regularly scheduled jamming. No, and we haven't. No, we got to get our jam on. We have all these

limited time things and if we don't eat them at a certain time, they're gone. So we said we can't take all this time off and they said, that's fine,

let's give the jammers more. We'll give them on the off weeks. And it's like, damn guys, great idea. Great thinking, Eric. You're so smart. Great idea. Well thinking, Eric. You're so smart.

This was a great idea. Well, okay. No. I was in those calls. I thought it was Drew's idea. No. Drew helped. His idea wasn't.

Yeah, he helped make, you know, mostly my idea a reality that Eric tried to shoot down. I helped. And I did it. And then at some point, they decided to loop Jordan in and then eventually Nick into the emails. That was a fight to just be like, hey, can you let the people on the show know what's going on? So how long do you think this has been in the works, Eric? It's been in the works for some time now. Like over two weeks?

Yeah. Who can say? Who can say? What's been secret and what's been happening and who's been doing what but either way it doesn't matter how long it took and how much credit i do deserve which is a lot we are doing a lot listen they'll see they'll see the video you can go to roosterteeth.com and you can watch these videos i think you can also go to the achievement hunter youtube channel i think they'll link there also. Yeah, I'm making them put it up there.

They really said they didn't want to, and I said, put up the VODs or I'm walking. Yep. So what you guys should know is that we got the van. We fixed it up. We did all this stuff in person. These four episodes are all in the back of the van together. We all got COVID tested. We were all safe.

We all came back negative. Everything was fine. And we shot all this stuff out and everything for you guys. But we just want to know, like, this is what you asked for. It's a video podcast of the show. And even better than we ever imagined, we were loaded up with beer. Dude. And we were loaded.

Loaded is the right word word but we weren't driving no nope we had the we had a designated monkey he he took care of it so but that's it guys we did it you're well let me be the first to say you're welcome that was such a long segment you're welcome for the van you're welcome the van segment has ever been you're welcome for the van. This is the longest the van segment has ever been. You're welcome, Jammers, for getting the van. I gotta say, it feels like we won again. We did. If people haven't watched the video yet,

because it's not even out yet, they haven't even seen the part yet where Eric breaks down and apologizes to us. It's true. He sees the light. Maybe that might be on the cutting room floor. I've seen four cuts of it, and every time only notice make sure that you haven't seen the secret you haven't seen the secret fifth cut when he talks about scrimping and saving it's really like not with money but with his soul and his heart well that's where he's been doing a lot of it yeah he's a

little soul scrimpter you're welcome but all of you guys are welcome all of the jammers are welcome I did it with the help of Voodoo Ranger I am the one who got the van and you're all very welcome

so you can watch those episodes now besides being there I mean you can't watch those episodes now they're not out yet well the first episode the video

showing the van the van unless it's 3am you can't you're probably gonna wait and it's probably not. Keep your eyes peeled. Here's why.

10 a.m. was a good guess. Here's why I can't believe you. Besides the fact that I was there and I witnessed you not do any of these things. Where's your hat today? You got nothing to point at. Oh, shit. It's because I got a haircut like an idiot. Oh, no.

Idiot. Anyway, back to the hot dog thing, whatever. Now, here to the hot dog thing, whatever. Now, now, here's the thing. When we quote unquote hear back from client and the dates get pushed, we cut that whole section out. Yep. Yep. Otherwise baby, we leave it in. And

this part. So what? The dog house October worst. Why are you clap syncing? Ugh. And welcome back. Jordan, let's talk about doghouse. Where'd you guys go?

I was sitting here for 20 minutes. Oh, I anamorphed into a grackle. Jordan, he ducked down. I saw him lean down in his car. I thought that was where the window opened, and a fucking bird flew out. Fucking crazy. Wow.

Anyway, let's not get into who's a bird and who isn't. Doghouse, October worst. One-third pound of Cajun Spice Im-immental cheese stuffed beerwurst. Pick this back up. You okay over there? Yeah, well I put the paper down and then I didn't know what word you were trying to say.

Would you like to help me sound this out? Im-immental. Im-im-im-pum. Okay. One third pound of Cajun Spice Im-im-im-im cheese stuffed beerwurst topped with caramelized onions, sauerkraut, mustard, aioli, and scallions all served on grilled King's Hawaiian rolls. Nice. Yeah, that-

What? What are you doing? Michael's throwing water at my car. What is happening? Can't prove that. What the- Imagine how much is inside my car. Imagine how worth it it might not have been to do that.

I'm all washed up. It's all over his car. I'm baffled. I have no words. Can we get back on track here? No, I was just taking out my frustrations on Eric But I didn't think he would interrupt you Why are you so frustrated?

Because you had him sound out a word You mean a mum-a-mum? No it was im-mim-able Im-mim-able The moo sound was pretty strong Im-mum-a-mum When you're right you're right I've never heard of this type of cheese me neither

but it had a lot of that it was Cajun spiced for sure oh boy I already love this press material okay Munich may have cancelled Oktoberfest but that won't stop us we're celebrating with Oktoberwurst, a one-third pound Cajun

spice. This is a different word. Yeah, it is. It's the same word with an E-R at the end. Why is it different? But why? And it's not capitalized. This is so confusing. A third pound Cajun spice.

Now you see why I was frustrated with him. He's making shit up. Now it's a mummuminer. The word is American. It's American cheese. American. You think that word is American? I think that's how you spelled it, you commie bastard.

Yeah. Eric can't type the word American or else he bursts into flames. So I had to write a Mentiler? One third pound Cajun spice, a Mentiler, a minimum cheese, stuffed beerwurst topped with caramelized onions. I already read this. It's the perfect solution for enjoying the season no matter where you are or who you're with. No matter where you are. All of our best friends together in a parking lot.

Are you in your house? Are you not anywhere? Are you in the doghouse restaurant? You can eat it in all of the top five places. Whoa. Okay, well, I was really excited at the start of that, and then it was just the description again. I feel like you just cut out the middle part of this

and put it at the segment. Nope, I found it in two different places. I mean, that might be the first one you trailed off on. You said, I've read this already. I didn't want to read it again. Well, you can pronounce all the other words. You just struggled on the one again. It's not that I struggled.

It's that I'm very confused why the word was different. I would definitely say it was a struggle Well, that's because you were making up words Yeah, you can't just change the word When you do it a second time I'll douse your ass Michael does not care if he is Caught in the crossfire

No So there you have it, that's Doghouse's october worst what do you think even though they canceled october fest did you feel like it was the october best well it's hard to say october isn't over yet so i can't it's true yeah we're about november 1st ask me again i'll hit you up november 1 uh he will be holding you accountable so what's the next section on the uh it says getting the food how's this parking lot? Having fun? I am. I'm having fun. I'm having a good time. It's another warm day.

And you guys think the episode's going. Yeah, the lighting is bad again. It's not as bad as Fazoli's. I can kinda see Eric, but I can only see Michael's hand. Well, you should've pulled up more. Eric and I are perfectly even. I can't. This car in front of me is like all the way into my lot.

It also has a dream catcher. Well, yeah. So when you fall asleep when you're driving, you don't have nightmares. You just dream sweet dreams. No, no. Crash and die. This person lives in their car and has nightmares sweet dreams oh man well 19th hour on the road night night you know how sometimes over nope

you know how sometimes you're you're in a dream and like something like outside like in the real in the real world like enters your dream like a sound like it's sometimes it's your alarm clock and it wakes you up yeah so this keeps that from happening so you'll never see that pole coming right when you wrap your car around it's the dream world and dream world in the real world in the real world it's smart good good until they are one yep um what is the inside of the doghouse restaurant like? Did you go inside? No.

So the doghouse here, even though it's a chain, the way that it works, the one in Austin, is that it's essentially part of a food collective or a food sort of like a restaurant. It sounds like a cult. It is kind of like a restaurant cult. I'm saying it's in a food court. Yeah, kind of. It really is. It's like a 20-20 white people food court.

You order online, and then they, when it's time for you to pick up your food, they put it on, like, these rolling carts outside so you can just grab it and go. So, really, if you wanted to just take free food and run away, like a little rat or a grackle, you could do it. Oh, I'm swooping in, baby. But we couldn't go inside. There was just a guy coming out to drop stuff off,

but it looks like it's that. It's one of those, you know, food court, food hall kind of areas. It had a bunch of different... It had a bunch of different restaurants in it that I want to try, so that's cool. So we can't even make fun of the inside? No, I didn't get to see it.

There was a guy who was really helpful who gave it to me, so... That's not funny. That was nice. No, I didn't get to see it. There was a guy who was really helpful who gave it to me. That's not funny. That was nice. No, I agree. That was nice. Yeah. I got my food.

That was nice. Next time, wear a monkey mask or something to see if anyone chirps at you. Yeah. No, we got to get this guy a grackle mask next. Oh, I don't need a mask.

Hey, bird. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Damn, I wonder if that lady's still there. She's like, I know that

monkey's gonna come back. Screaming monkey murder. Nick only knows because he's been back to Fazoli's three times since then. Yeah, no kidding. He's seen her standing there. He's giving a thumbs up. What do you got? You got a text? I got so many slacks right now. It's just non-stop. Jesus Christ.

Alright, that's okay. Let's rate this turd. Yeah, let's rate this. Turd? Right? Let's do it. Review the food. Let's tear this a new one. I can't wait to get into it. Guys, I'm going to say right off the bat,

this is a pretty dang good dog. It's a doggone good dog doggone good doggone good okay what's where's the i'll tell you who's not in the i'll tell you who's not in the dog house dog house what he's got a million of these he's just been that seems wrong bow wow where are i? No bad Bad wow Oh yeah hey hey hey Eric Don't try it That's his thing

His bark's worse than his bite I'll tell ya They say This is some Cajun spice Beerwurst going on here. It's not too spicy. It's good for a spice mouse like myself. Oh, I thought he was going to make a joke.

I thought he was taking a long walk towards a dog pun. And then he just went, I liked it. So I guess you could say this dog's bark is worse than its bite. I already made that one. He just said that. Yeah, but Nick will edit yours out so that mine stands supreme. No, he won't. No, he won't.

And that's not even like an I'm backing Eric thing. That's just work he's not going to do. No, he cut out five seconds of silence in the last episode. Dude, I can't explain that one. Made me look like an idiot. This segment's getting rough. Right, the food. I liked it. Remember, you're only rating the hot dog, the food. I liked it.

Remember, we are only rating, you're only rating the hot dog, not the million tater tots. Oh, in that case, it's all garbage. What? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He's kidding.

He's kidding. 26. I mean, there's not a whole lot to say other than it's just really good. It's got, I don't know how they prep it, but the dog was kind of nicely seared on the outside. You take a bite and you kind of tear into it. It's not like Wiener's Tissue where it kind of has perforated segments that you bite into And you tear off It's not like someone chewed it and spit it back Into the buns for you to

Easier to actually digest There's a restaurant I don't think it exists anymore Here in Austin called Frank Yeah it's gone It really reminds me of Frank And if there's a fast food version Of that place I'm all for it

I love the creativity of the King's Hawaiian roll I'm always down for those the mustard aioli is great on it like I said spicy but not too spicy my nose did run a little bit but I'm a big boy I can handle it you had napkins

I did and I used all of them it is a little messy but like every like Artisan craft hot dog is gonna be like that Because they try to like cram a bunch of shit On top of it But yeah I mean It's a fucking good hot dog

I'm giving it a 95 Wow That's the highest thing That's legitimately I think the highest rating Jordan's ever given oh my god how it has to be

because it's the best thing we've eaten on this show he's wow he just he cruised on into it so yeah

no kidding yeah gotcha that sounded like a 74 that he was about to hit us with and he wow and he went 95 95

now the the best food is like you don't need to you don't need to say a whole lot about it wow well you said a lot though yeah and he went 95. The best food is like, you don't need to say a whole lot about it. Wow. Well, you said a lot, though. Yeah.

But 95 was at the end of you saying a lot about it. It was mostly dog jokes. Yeah. I needed filler. It was a good hot dog. It was big. Not too big. was big that like you're like you're gonna like stretch your mouth and that's that's what really made it messy is because you kind of had to like mush it you couldn't get all of it in there all the time you couldn't fit the bun and the dog in with all the toppings and shit but nothing on there was out of place right there was no like

weird topping there was no gross topping perfectly harmonious it really was there was out of place. There was no weird topping. There was no gross topping. Perfectly harmonious. It really was. There was a perfect consistency of everything. It was a little spicy. That mustard was good. I've loved it. It was a good fucking hot dog.

I ate the shit out of it, and then I was still hungry, and then I ate about 45 tater tots. Still had too many. They're catching up to me now but I don't think I could have eaten two. I want to say I wish I had another one but I think halfway through the second one

I would have regretted it and then I would have been sick. I feel like portion wise it's perfect for a hot dog because it doesn't fill you dog. It really is. It doesn't fill you up. It's great because if we didn't have a million tater tots, I think it would still be good. But the million tater tots helped me be happy with, I could eat a second one of these, but now I really don't fucking have to. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It removed the FOMO I had of a second dog. Fear of missing out of a second hot dog. Yeah, dude. Because once you taste it, you want another one. It was delicious. It's what I was hoping from Wienerschnitzel and was massively disappointed by. Yeah, Wienerschnitzel better fucking watch out

because Doghouse is going to take over. Dude, Doghouse is going to take over as long as they pay their taxes. Uh-oh, Frank. It was fucking good. take over. Dude, doghouse is gonna take over as long as they pay their taxes. Uh-oh, Frank. Um... It was fucking good. Uh, I gotta agree with Jordan. One of the best things we've ever eaten.

I'm gonna give it a... 95.1. Wow! That's an average score of 95.05! That's the highest score... That's the highest score in Face Jam history. Why are we going to have the highest score for the foreseeable future be 95.05?

Why not? Because that's what it got rated, dude. I hate it. That's just what it is, you know? That's going to be on the Wikipedia page for the foreseeable future. I don't know that anything is going gonna top this for a really long like we're gonna have to really find something that's like fucking incredible why didn't he rate it 95 point or 94.9 you know because you probably would have just done the same thing you would have gone up to 0.2 and it would still be 90 minutes. Wow. Would I? Would I?

Yeah, it was good. Go. If you have a dog house near you, go eat this hot dog. If you don't have a dog house near you, email Haggup, and he'll get you hooked up. Dude, those three crazy guys, they made some good fucking hot dogs. I want to eat here. I want to eat like their regular non-seasonal food. I really want to. This makes me want to come back here.

This could be my next Wendy's pretzel bun beer craft burger. I've had that like seven times since that episode. Dude, me too. You, that's the surprising part. I've had that like seven times since that episode Me too You You have it and then you text me pictures of it So I go get it again Monkey see monkey do Alright what are you

Scraping at Oh it's time for snack attack I'm so full I keep burping's fucking hash browns, dude. All right. Ah, the hash browns. I sneaked a peek at what it is, so I'm ready for the Baconator Pringles.

Is this like an officially licensed Wendy's thing? Oh, my God, it is. She's on the fucking pan. They can't just use the word Baconator. They got to go through the proper channels. Shake one out. Too many! Not enough. Too many!

Alright, that's good. He went from giving me the whole can to none. To the whole can to none. Can you leave some on the ground for my grackle friend later? Hey Michael, Jordan, Eric, and Sauce Freak. Oh my god. I was looking for some weird snacks

to send you and found this shit. Just listened to the Wendy's episode and thought this would be appropriate. Much love from El Paso, Texas, from Alex. So this is Wendy's Baconator. They're Pringles, right? Pringle chips? Yep. Weird. I guess

are they supposed to taste like a bacon cheeseburger or just bacon? Weird. What do these taste like? It doesn't really taste like either. No. It doesn't taste like Wendy's or Baconator. I don't know how you put all that into a chip. If anything it's like bun?

You know what it kind of tastes like a ketchup or like a mustard. That's weird. It tastes like a ketchup hamburger. Yeah, it does taste like ketchup. I'm getting some hamburger seasoning. This is a real thinker.

It's mostly weird. You know, it doesn't taste bad, but I'm trying to get like the Wendy's Baconator flavor. I'm trying to get anything like, the Wendy's Baconator flavor. I'm trying to get anything. It doesn't make me, like, want to eat 50 more. No. And it's chips, and it's supposed to.

It's Pringles specifically. Very salty. I'll give it that. Once I pop, I'm stopping with ease. Uh-oh. I'm giving them a 20, mostly them a 20 mostly out of confusion someone patch me up uh oh I popped

I have a Hulk and someone blow in me that's a 20 from Jordan what do you got Michael um it's not it's not bad I am struggling to find the flavor of what you would say. Man, you got to try these. It tastes like, because Baconator ain't it. It doesn't taste like bacon.

It doesn't taste like cheese. It doesn't really taste like hamburgers. It's very weird. I don't hate it, though. But I would absolutely grab another flavor over this. 35? Okay. What's that? Is that a 90 what is it 27.5 i think 27.5 i think 27.5 is fair uh because yeah more than fair yep very weird so alex thank you for sending in a snack um let me ask you a question eric

yeah can you off the top of your head, can you think of something that was unfair? Like on the show. Yeah, I can. What was unfair? I absolutely can. It's the score you guys gave

that Wendy's... No. ...pub pretzel... No. ...pub cheeseburger. Yep. No. No.

That was not fair. That wasn't fair. No, it was fair because it had to do with the burger, too, and the burger wasn't as good. It wasn't as good, but it should have been way higher. The chicken sandwich should have been like, should have driven that score way up.

I'm not talking about what you gave it. I'm talking about if the average score was fair. The average score I thought was too low. No, they're crazy. No, that burger, drag it down. Okay, the burger brought this guy a night. This guy gave the burger like a 40 or something ridiculous. It was crazy.

I don't know. That's not true at all. I black out. You're asking me if something isn't fair. I'm telling you that the score you guys gave the Wendy's Pub

pretzel bacon cheeseburger it's not fair. Damn. Okay. It's way better than that. So there you go. So. He's mad at us.

You want to send us send us snacks. Is he a stock in that burger? Facejam. Care of. Eric. He's got a burger stock. 1901 East 51st Street.

Austin, Texas. 78723. Maybe he keeps buying the burger one. Don't send us bugs. That's the one he's eating. Please don't send us bugs. I'll throw away the bugs. But Eric, people eat bugs in other cultures.

Don't you think you're being exclusionary? Yeah, that's fine. No, that's cool. I don't want to eat bugs. Do you want to eat bugs? Oh, God, no. Oh, okay. Well, there you go. Problem solved. Don't want to eat bugs. Do you want to eat bugs? Oh God, no. Oh, okay.

Well, there you go. Problem solved. Don't want to eat bugs. We are not going to eat. We're probably not going to eat seafood on this podcast. We're not going to eat bugs. No,

we're not going to eat Long John Silver's specifically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll eat other seafood. Long John's got to go. In fact, not only should we not eat Long John Silver's,

I think we should take it upon ourselves to ruin the restaurant and make sure it closes down for good. Wow. I think that should be our next prime directive. I was gonna say, like, if we got the van, what do we do next? Let's go bigger. Shut down Long John Silver's. Let's fucking

destroy Long John Silver's. We'll get you Long John Silver if it's the last thing we ever do. Here's how we destroy you. We don't eat there. And we tell everyone we know not to eat there, which I don't know anyone who does. If there's a Long

John Silver in a parking lot, there's another restaurant in that parking lot. There's not just a Long John Silver in the parking lot. I mean, you're right, but did you see all those people at Fazoli's? Yeah, that's fu- yeah, fuck. It was packed! Yep. And there was a woman making monkey noises

that had everything. It was fucked up. And Fazoli's is part of the Long John Silver's cinematic restaurant universe. It's cinematic. Do you think that woman likes zoos? Do you think she likes zoos? Was she a zoo girl? As Tony's wife.

She's monkeying around. Oh my god. Hey guys. Hey guys, you can follow us at FaceJamPod on Twitter to stay up to date on everything. Hey guys, check this out. You can watch Snack Attack 2, the snackening, only on Rooster Teeth.

It was our RTX, like one of the highest rated, one of the most viewed things at RTX all year. Made lots of money. Everybody loved it. We were the heroes. They said, come save us. And they looked up and whispered, save us. And we looked down and screamed, okay. And then we saved them.

We got to rename that. It's just like, because people can't find it. It's just called like Snack Attack. Oh, yeah, yeah, on the site. Yes, I'll make sure it gets renamed. By the time this goes up. Snack Attack 2, the snackening. Because that's what we keep saying.

Let's get a bit.ly link for that too. Yeah. Okay, now here's the thing. I just want to make it easier for the jammers to find. Yeah, no, no, by the time this goes out, here's the thing. By the time this goes out, it'll be fixed. Problem solved. I didn't say...

I wasn't blaming you. No, no. I'm saying... You don't have to get so defensive. I'm saying people are going to go, I can find it just fine. Right. Because we fixed it. I'm talking about the people that already screamed out in pain.

Oh, no. Eric, I just want you to know, I am blaming you. Oh, okay. That's fine. Hey. All right, guys. I am blaming you. Oh, okay.

That's fine. Hey. All right, guys. And then we're here to announce our next live special. Again, only on Rooster Teeth and on Black Friday. Face Jam presents Snack Friday. That's right. We're going to be back. Holy shit.

I love that. We're going to be back live in person in studio together again where we're gonna be drinking Our way through an advent calendar of wine, so we will be going through 24 bottles of wine In roughly 60 to 90 minutes. Holy shit. Yeah, we have a hard out Not that I know of but I can get that sorted out. Okay, I would like I would like to have a hard out? Not that I know of, but I can get that sorted out. Okay. I would like to have a hard out. Can I get a designated driver to take me home? Oh, yeah. No.

Yeah. I'm not driving myself at all. No. No. The show will end when the wine ends. I mean, that's- Yes. What are we going to stop?

Halfway through the month? Yeah. It could be like a little Thanksgiving with us. Thanksgiving with Face Jam. Yep. All right. That'll be our next live stream special. Just so you guys know, it'll probably be taped because we don't want to, you know, on actual Black Friday, we don't want to come in and...

We got deals to get. Yeah, right? So we're getting, we're scripting and saving on those deals. I'll be here. Dang. Hot dog. No. Dog house.

I'll get another hot dog, dude. Stay tuned. More details at FaceJamPod very soon for Snack Friday, the Black Friday livestream from FaceJam. Stop calling it a livestream if it's not live.

It's going to be streamed live. It'll be streamed live. It's a live stream. It's weird. It's kind streamed live. It's a live stream. It's weird. It's kind of a lie. Hey guys, merch update! Spice Rats are currently sold out, but you can go to bit.ly slash fj spicerat to get notified

about our restock. I still love that link. So, go to it. Go to the site and you can get go to him can that be the

the name of our merch line now like what FJ Spice Rat oh you like that the new FJ Spice Rat merch line FJ Spice Rat it's not bad

if we have like a little a little subcategory in the store you click on the link that says FJ Spice Rat yep hey guys another little merch update check this out what we announced Like a little subcategory in the store. You click on the link that says FJ Spice Rat. Hey, guys, another little merch update. Check this out.

What we announced on Snack Attack 2, the snackening, the Face Jam Cup and the Sauce Monkey plush, plus the light-up acrylic sign that I don't think we've shown yet. Have we even talked about it? I don't think we have. So we're coming out with a small desktop light-up acrylic sign that's the Face Jam logo. All of those will be on sale on December 2nd. I just got word. 12-2.

Whoa. Hard day. Whoa. 12-2. So mark your calendars. We'll get the time sorted out. Again, follow at FaceJamPod on Twitter to stay up to date on everything. Guys, there's a lot happening at the FJ Spice Rat Factory. There is a lot happening.

It's hard to keep track. Yep. Oh, hey, speaking of our Twitter, I noticed that TikTok is becoming a big thing. So I went and claimed Face Jam Pod on TikTok. Oh, that was good. That's smart. I mean, we'll never put anything on it, but that's smart. No, never.

Yeah, but we have it, just in case we needed it. So that's like quick videos and edits and stuff, right? Yeah. Can they do still images? I mean, we could probably just like some music to some still images so no no music you want silent images i just yeah i just let's be the silent still image guys on tiktok see if it takes off okay but we'll try it we will because if you go to at face jam or you follow face jam pod on tiktok on TikTok. Jordan and the social team are going to post some really cool

still images of some merch coming out. So you can check it out there. With no music. Yep. There you have it. It's distracting. Eric, I was going to say before you got into this whole spiel, but when you were really upset with Jordan

before we started, I was going to ask you if you wanted me to throw water at his car for you. No, that's okay. I think it's fine. Because I think you'd have to roll down both your windows and I'd have to throw water at Yeah, no, I understand. Through your car. I can get him, dude.

Yeah, no, I started following along with you right away on that. Eric can be the middle man. No, thank you. Michael gives Eric the water. Eric takes the water and throws it on my car. I'm. No, thank you. Michael gives Eric the water. Eric takes the water and throws it on my car. No. I'm sure you'll catch it.

I don't like this. Nope. I think we're good. I think we're definitely good. Only one way to find out. Let's do it. Crank those windows down. And now let's wrap up the episode.

Oh, you're throwing it to me, but if I never say it, the episode can't end. Wrap up the episode. Go rate us, bitch. He's begging. Yeah, rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food.

All right. I'm going to fly home. I mean, drive my car home. I fucking knew he's a bird the whole time. Oh, hang on. Last closing. Yeah. Goodbye.