100% Eat - Eating Mac n Cheese at the Waterpark? %% Whataburger Hot Honey Crisp Whatachick'n Sandwich

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

Who cares about more hot honey? Have you ever been to calamari waterpark or whatever? You can see it, asswipe. Get yourself into the Backrooms and build it so they will... come...? Catch Whataburger on TMZ. We'll be at HomeBrew on Saturday June 27th at 7pm. Full transparency: Sauce Monkey will not be there so we will be doing a Michael, Jordan Podcast and MORE. Get tickets: https://www.eventim.us/event/tickets/687902Grab some merch at https://100percenteat.store Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to 100% Calamari Grill Where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it You probably don't and you don't need to go to a water park It's outside. It's not a water park. That's why I didn't you don't need to go so stop saying we can't Idiot spill some more shit on your shirt I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my coach Jordan swears Jordan how are you? I didn't forget We don't even need to talk about what we ate or anything because what happened before we started rolling

was so much more interesting, which was we were kind of just like waiting to get going, we were sitting here. You were taking care of something. I was selling a ticket real quick. Oh, I see. Traffic ticket. I think it's selling it to buy his bed.

In the quiet lull, Nick just goes, we should really go to that mac and cheese restaurant at Calahari. Yeah. And I was standing in the doorway. I don't know if you looked up. I kept looking at you every time he said. He was looking this.

way at now. I don't like it was such a it was it felt like such a like man I really want to bring this up but I just need to find the right time and he he didn't find it no yeah he just he's like you know what I bet I could

squeeze this in real quiet the way he said it was like almost exasperated like huh fine I guess we should talk about this again guys we gotta find a wolf in the room yeah we got to find a way to get To Kalahari.

Where the elephant's There? He Nick, like, it took some like, weaseling to get more information out of them. No. Yeah, I did.

We were like, why did you bring this up? You were like, well, I was there. I was there yesterday. Right. Right. So that's usually where you can start. Hey, so yesterday,

I was actually doing this thing and I saw this thing. Why you explained all that when you could just get to the point? Fine. I guess we should go to gather. That wasn't quite like that. But the mind. You sat down and you were like, was that one of the places at the Mac and Cheese Fest I went to? Yeah.

And Nick Wait, yeah, he's like, then we should go. Uh-huh. Yeah. But we found out. Classic, classic encouragement. So Calahari is like, of course. The largest indoor water park or something. And it's just north of Austin.

Resort. Grill. Calahari Resort and Grill. Calamari Resort and Grill and Macon Cheese. They have ice cream. Calahari dessert. And Italian. They have ice cream.

It's no good. It is. It's smelled good. It wasn't open yet. Yeah, he went and like, the whole point of the story was like, he took, the point of the story was we should go over back and see. Yeah, but you went there and everything was closed. Right, but it smelled good.

It smelled good. It smelled good. They weren't open, but they were cooking it? What do you mean? Yeah, they were getting ready. They were opening in like 30 minutes. Oh, I see. Okay, I thought he meant like they were shut down.

He was also explaining. He's like, this is at Calahari. And I'm like, I don't want to go to an indoor water park. That's a separate building. Fool? Fool? And it's like, Right. None of this was explained.

You just said we should go to eat mac and cheese at the water park. Why don't you know everything about Kalahari like he does? You've been to Del Diamond. You can see it. You can see that it's a water park. You can see it's a giant fucking hotel. You actually can't see that it's a water park because it's true. It's inside. It looks like a big movie theater. Well, you can see the slides coming out.

They're on the outside. That's the egg. So why didn't you know the mac and cheese was on the inside, fool? It's halfway down the slide. I'm not talking to you. I'm being you talking to me. You got called an ass wipe. In 2026.

Bringing that back. It was so like, what? You fucking chode? It was like, okay, so we're gonna, so you want mac and, like, you want mac and cheese from not the indoor water park but near it. I told them. Jason. I told them if Cole ever comes back for a visit, then we'll go because Cole would always, like, When we would go to that Dell Diamond or something,

he's just like, Calahari is right there. It's right there. We can go, largest indoor water park. It's right there. So excited about the- But he actually wanted to go to the water park. Yes. Which would make him believe more

that when Nick says Calahari, he thinks the water park. They're like one and the same. They have an outdoor water park. Who? Does that change the ones? Hang on. Is that where the mechanism?

Did you know? No, no. It's outdoor as well. There's a convention center. Does that change everything you thought? 100% Eat Fest. Coming soon. Bring your swim,

trunks. Or don't. Going back to the the cold thing. Whoever in the history of their life has not planned for going to a water park and impromptu went to a water park.

Who? I'm talking about coal. Call me, man. Hey, it's right there. Are you prepared for it? It would be like coal. I'm always ready. Chris Damaris.

They sell swim trunks. So aliens. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yes. Aliens are ready. Don't worry. Nick knows they sell swim trucks.

They do. Him too. Still. I feel like there's like a time allotment. If you're there at the baseball stadium, therefore, I don't know, something else. Yeah. You just went through a whole thing. Like, it's never just, oh, you know what?

Actually, I'm totally prepared. I have hours and hours of free time. It's right there. I had nothing to do with this. I'm well prepared. I have no dogs to take care of. 9.45 p.m. Let's take a dip at the indoor water part.

And outdoor ass white and convention center with mac and cheese. It's on the way. I think you're bearing the lead on the mac and cheese. So wait, where is the mac and cheese? It's in between the main entryway and the convention hall. They put it in between the cracks. I clearly can't. I can't conceptualize the layout.

I don't understand at all. I just thought it was a big indoor water park. They sell mac and cheese and that's all that matters. Yeah. It's a very good mac and cheese. Because I tasted it. But, but, but to also maybe circle back to you, maybe just look up when the next mac and cheese,

It seems like we could enjoy that mac and cheese and many others if we just went to the mac and cheese best Hopefully they're the right dates listed this time Great crew I made it be lux bar and grill Zulu grill. I don't what is the mac and cheese place? I do know it's there though I got a card I sent pictures that's where he got the information from When was the mac and cheese it was it September? Is it called max? Yeah, max macaroni and cheese shop Yeah they're cooking it up shop M-A-C-S.

Yeah. Yep. There you go. I can look at Mac and Cheese Fest for this year. Could be September. That sounds right. It was right around that shithole panda fest. Oh, that's right.

I remember those being back-to-back. And one was definitely better than the other. Yeah, I don't remember what order I went. In the Men. Oh, my. But the Mac and Cheese Fest was awesome. Oh, my God. Is this right?

It could not be based on... I'm going to Mac and Cheese Fest on Instagram to see what's up. There's one in Austin. I think there was one in Portland. It was at Star Hill Ranch, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. November 15th.

Okay. That's so far away. Was it really? Yeah. Weather might be nice. It could be. I don't know, but the mac and cheese was nice. Macon cheese was nice.

When's the one in Portland? Let's go to Portland. Okay. They were talking. Events. Seattle. Time to be determined. Oh, well.

Macon cheese. That was bode well. That was bode well. Austin, November 16th, which is the other one said 15th, I think. See, this is what happened last year. And what day is it? November 17th also. So it's a few days.

Okay. Got a few off. I feel like it was just one when I just went. Portland Mac and Cheese. Portland Mac and Grilled Cheese Festival. Okay. May 5th. We just missed it.

Damn it. Next year. By a month. Yep. Yeah. And in Portland. Hey. Yeah.

Hey, Austin Mac and Grilled Cheese Festival, 2023, November 19th. So if you wanted to know when it was in 2023. Can we get tickets? Hang on me check. You want to spill some more on Taylor's face? Sorry, no. It's a page I found.

Dang. Yeah, sorry. Lou, do you got some pimento? Is there still a little pimento there? Oh, yeah, it's right there. I'm not buying you another one of those. No, that's on me. It's on me.

It's honestly on it. It's on Waterburger is what it is. It was literally on. It was Waterburger on you. Yeah, it was definitely on you. I saw it. So, yeah, well, I guess we went to Waterburger, huh? Ass wipe.

Bring it back. Grody. Today we're reviewing Waterburger. You've been waiting for it. Hot Honey Crisp. What a chicken sandwich. Wow. Hot honey.

Finally. And the Pimento cheese isn't even in the title? It isn't. Nope. I feel like it should be. Yep. Like hot, just call it hot honey and pomeano cheese.

Like they got to do their TM, you know, what a chicken. What a chicken. Just stupid. Yep. It's chicken. This is how non like meat replacers like write their stuff. So it's like it's chicken. Yes, it is.

And that is what this is. And also, Nick... It's steak. Nick didn't know that they just had regular chicken there. He was making a very big thing about like, it's either spicy and fried or grilled and normal. And we just got it regular, but not grilled. So they don't... I don't know if spicy would have helped it.

I don't think anything to do it. He didn't think they had regular fried? Like, yeah. Oh, that seems... It seems weird to not have it. It seems like the easiest way to do it if it's already fried something. way. I don't ever get chicken at water burger. Oh, is that right? Is it like the burgers

the go to for you? Yeah. If I go there, I get a burger. Wow. I think the chicken is way better than the burger. The only chicken I get is I'll get the honey butter chicken biscuit, but that's a breakfast thing. I get that. Makes sense. And it is gooey-goey and makes me angry, but I'll do it. I hate it. And this was only a little bit gooey-goo.

This was like goo. Like, goo. It wasn't gooey-go- I'm also finding I realized, like just how much I like the honey butter chicken biscuit. Like, I like I like honey more than hot honey. I don't know why hot honey keeps Just give me a little bit of honey on some chicken. What is that? With honey going.

You know, as a breakfast sandwich. Is it a thing where, like, people made deals that go on for years and years, and they're like, this will be popular forever. We'll keep breaking it back. It seems like it's a life on partnership thing. They have, like a reserve of hot honey. This is low, low, low and oil, but high and hot honey. We could turn this into some sort of consumable fuel.

Yeah. Put it in the, open the oil. Remind me to get gas when we leave. I have like eight miles. Oh, geez. Oh my God. Well, it didn't help that you had to like, well, that's why. Come here. I would, I would, I had, like, a good, you know, 20 or whatever.

And then I was two minutes away from the office and I got an alert that my front door was left open. So I had to turn around and you were like, who did that? Yeah, it was me. What the fuck? I mean, I know that. I tried because I have an electronic door too, right? Like the door lock. And I like hoped upon hopes.

Like, maybe it was just like, maybe it was just like a tiny little crack. Like, but I could still lock the deadbolt and latch it. and I tried it. It was like error. And I'm like, yep. Damn. That sucks. That sucks.

I was like down the block. The doors open and it's going, I know, dude. I was just like, I thought about leaving it, but I was like, no, I'd play into someone dumb enough to do that.

Come over here. Look at this. My door's wide open. I was going to be right on time and I was like, I can leave it. No one will probably rob me for like, we got to watch more staying house. Five hours.

I did say enjoy another 20 minutes of two. Dude. Stan Helsing is just like, I think it's a parody movie. Yeah, it is. But like, it didn't parody anything. I couldn't tell you what it was parrary. There was definitely like a Chucky doll. They were parroting a bunch of monster creatures.

They had those, all those at the end. The Texas Chancesattsincer and Freddie Kruger and all that. I did see the Freddie Krueger, yeah. Yeah, which is, which is, again, not Van Helsing. No. No. So that doesn't really even make sense. It is Stan Helsing.

It is Stan Helsing. It is Stan. It is Stan. It is Stan. It is Stan. saying, this is Stan Hells. It really, I've seen most of those movies, although apparently not all of them.

Because as I've seen on Tooby, there's more and more. Even for like the 2010s error, I'll say. I've seen most of those. There's still like one or two I haven't seen. That one I did not know of. But even then all the other ones, I still watch them and go, like, I know what they're parodying. I've seen all the other movies.

Yeah, I was just, because I was late with my door, you guys were walking down and you caught me just staring at it. And you're like, you're really locked in. I was looking at it for like three minutes. just, they're like in a restaurant and he's like avoiding like these disasters or something. And Michael's just watching it like two feet away just like staring at like this big screen TV. Just resting bitch face. I'm like, man, you're in, you're like really watching this.

And he's like, I'm trying to figure out what this is parodying. Like there's no jokes. By a guy named Bo Zanga. Okay. Bo Zay. Well, that's what they say in Big Bang Theory. Young Sheldon says, Bo Zanga. Nice.

No, old. Old Jones. Sheldon says, Bo Zeng. I don't know if Young Sheldon says it. Oh, I assume he... Does Young Sheldon say Bozanga? Maybe there'll be an episode where he discovers it. Oh, because he's a scientist and he discovers Bozanga.

Well, because he's younger and he, you know, see the origin story. Oh. There's a review I really want to read, but like... Of Stan Helson? Better than what a murder. Let's go. Yeah, the I.M.B. app, like, just... We have our reviews of Stan Helsing, but we didn't hear from you to say what we call you review.

See if I can... Clicked on it and then it shows me all of them. Click a button. Stan Helsing gets an A. This movie is very funny. Mia is hilarious as the ditsy blonde and her lines will make you laugh a lot. It is exactly as it describes itself, colon,

a parody. If this is one of the better ones, I recommend this to anyone who likes parodies. If you don't laugh at this, then you are seriously lacking in the humor department. Four stars. I... Wait, eight, four.

Guys, it goes on, but I'm not going to read it. I'm blown away. There's a human out there. Every other review is two stars. There's a human out there that wrote that. I think that might have been, let's see, B, Zanga. Also, was me the one I pointed out that had great lines? Uh-huh.

Yeah. Michael was watching, it was like wrapping up as we were eating and everything. It was still on when we came back. Yeah, and he was like, this was just like these movies. It was just like, okay, these aren't funny, but also we got these women with just huge breasts wearing nothing. The whole movie. The whole movie.

And that's all it was. That's all you needed in 2009 or whatever. You would ride your dirt bike and then go watch this on DVD like a fucking little creep, like an Inland Empire freak. Like you just, you had your metal militia or fox racing shirt. And then you'd like, I don't have any of these things.

I don't know what the hell he's talking about. It's just a certain kind of person. It's just a certain. a certain kind of person that would like watch this thing and then it would end and then they would watch whatever's on Spike TV.

Like that is what this is. The network first network for manned? Yeah. I got to say the thousand ways to die. I need them now. Let's watch the blade show. Stripperolla. Gary.

That's what it was called. I know it was called striperolla. Most extreme elimination challenge. Like the only good show. It's like the only good thing. Thousand ways to die. And a thousand ways to die. Yeah, then, dude.

Here comes Stephen Baba Ginoosh. They always had a Baba Ginoosh like every episode. They have the show where it was like the ancient weapons like fighting each other too. That one was pretty cool. Deadliest warrior or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Spike TV was. It was the network for men.

And then Mancers was that. It was like, hey, here's a question about balls. How do you make your balls even better? Yeah, it's crazy. You're like, what was the answer? Yeah, I don't know. Oh, excuse me. What was the main sir?

Also, what's better? Right? I'd like to know what the descriptor was. Yeah. Yeah. Am I in a state of like not as good? Could I improve? That's even an end.

Like, you guys are confused. Smaller might be better. No, no, no. You guys are like, it depends where we're starting from. I can see where the confusion is. They were talking about basketballs the whole time. And it's like, oh, they just sort of, they kept saying balls. Were they?

Off the more PSI. And that's Spike TV. That was just what it was. and then it was a woman that looked like she was in Stan Helsing sort of dancing around like in the corner of the screen and it said it would be. Yeah, that was like, and it said like coming up video game awards. Yeah, manseries.

Fuck, dude. Anyway, that's who watches Stan Helsing. Yeah. Well, now we're not. And us. If Spike TV exists now, it all be about looks maxing your balls and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Balls, balls.

Now, see, now that I understand how that could be better. Yeah. That's better. Looks maxing balls. What was the other one? Did you say that there was one that came out in 2024? A parody movie that came out?

No, there was a, it was called another Cabin in the Woods movie. Yeah. But I'm sure that's a parody movie. Yeah. So a second cabin, definitely not. Who knows?

I'd have any parody because that's the name. That's the stupid naming invention. All that to be said. Uh, scary movie comes out this week. Oh, that's right. Yeah, scary movie six. They're still happening. Yeah.

I think what are they just calling it? It's scary movie. I think so. Yeah, yeah. I'll probably go see it. Yeah. Report back. Yes.

Let's know. I saw, they had a trailer for that before backrooms. Oh, how was it? I like it. My kids really want me to take them. Hey, that's funny. It is. They keep asking to go.

It's weird and suspenseful. They do say fuck. Some of the subject matter. They will not understand. It doesn't matter. But it's like, hardly a horror movie. Oh, really?

There's like some scary stuff, but really it's more of like the ambiance. And if they've seen the YouTube videos. They have, and we've played them. But here's the thing. It is not like the video game lore of like crazy smiling face and dog man that chases. It's like, it is just like the liminal space and like some scary stuff that is like chasing after you, but you really don't see much. There's some blood.

It feels like dimensional stuff. Yeah, it feels a lot like that. It was, uh, I, I liked it. If this was somebody's third movie, I wouldn't have liked it. This was a 20-year-old's first movie. And for that, it was incredible. It was incredible. It's a little...

How does it compare to Exit 8? Way better than Exit 8. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, way better than Exit 8. The performances... Are you just an exit hater?

Yeah. Yes, absolutely. The performances in this movie were phenomenal. Your kids want to appreciate it. That's fine. Right. But it's the... The combo of his...

gonna be too scary where they're gonna want to leave or it's just too boring. No, it's not too boring. It takes a while to get into it but I don't think it's too boring. For a seven and a nine year old? So when we went, there were probably a dozen kids in the movie theater with parents.

One kid was probably 10. Maybe I'll take them. Two girls were probably like nine and 11 or 12 and then like a few other kids that were probably like the oldest child was probably like 15. But the rest was just like adults. But dude, It was like kids

were going to see this movie. Report back on that. I mean, fucking crazy. I mean, it's not crazy. My kids are asking. That's like I said. What's a YouTube video? This was...

Yeah. And it's Roblox. It's very... I feel like it's very targeted to like a Gen Z type of audience or whatever because it's trying to... It's like, and there's trauma. But it's using stuff that like Gen Alpha

really knows from like... the YouTube channels and Roblox and shit. It's the liminal space stuff and it's async and everything. I've already seen a liminal space horror movie based on an existing property. Right, right, right, right. But this is the other. This is the other little space horror movie based on an existing property. Yes, absolutely.

So I mean, I already saw X and 8. Might as well go see this too. I don't know anything about back rooms. Like I wasn't even familiar. It was like a YouTube thing. Yeah. Or like from 4chan? The original post was 4chan, and then it spun off.

Because no one owns it. No one owns the property. Yeah. It's just that's why there's so many games that aren't, none of the games are canon. All of it's just like a lore-based thing. And this is doing like a totally separate thing. I think you could probably take the older one.

No, no, I'd have to think both of them. Oh, that I can't condone. But I will say just do it. Yeah, that's fine. I don't have to deal with it, so I say do it. Drop Luna off at Mandalorian Grogu. Go see baby yoga. And you go see back rooms.

Yeah. They don't care about that. I don't think. based on the numbers, I don't think anybody cares about that. All I heard from that is the people who saw it and liked it really liked that there's like a huge segment where it's like just Muppets. And a lot of people were saying, make another Muppets movie.

Babu Frick? He's a Muppet. They have a bunch of Bobboo Fricks in this one. There's apparently like a good run where like nobody's talking. And it's all just like Muppets. And they said that was probably the best part of the movie. It was like Nistaltz. Pedro Piscow shut the fuck up. And we let the Muppets see the talking.

Yeah. It was just like Muppets and Animatronerical. Oh yeah. Look at those nice bookstand we got. Yeah. So we're still pushing Palenke. Oh, yeah. I went to Palenke over the weekend. You did. It was so good. Yeah, you were sending his pictures. Fucking gross of the dessert.

There's Papa's book. I was going to eat half of it. I ate the whole fucking thing. It was so good. Did you confirm if that was Caheta in the, in the Treslaetches? No, I didn't ask the guy who was working there. You didn't say, it's me again? Hey, what's up? It's me. And he is... I mean, you ate it. What did you think? Do you think it was caramel or Caheta? Oh, I don't know that it's caramel.

Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. I don't think it's caramel. There's a certain richness level to it. Yeah. Well, it's not like sticky like caramel. Like it didn't have like the like almost like. Was it sticky like this hot honey crisp what a chicken sandwich?

Fucking fuck the stupid fucking honey train. All right. Let's get into this turd we ate. You guys want to learn about. Yeah. Let's do some facts first. You guys don't. You guys don't shit about water.

Our last Waterberg episode was on August 26th, 2025 where we ate the Waterburger Bacon Wrangler double. It receives an average rating of 66. Any memory? I can't believe it's been that long. No. No memory of that, right? I probably liked it because I like their burgers.

It's a bacon double cheeseburger. I like Waterburger's cheeseburgers. I think it was that. Do you remember I have any memory of it? It was just, I think it was just like a double bacon cheeseburger. I probably wasn't too hot on it because... You probably were in like the high 50s or something. I was probably like in the 70s or some shit.

I probably wasn't too hot on it because it's a burger from Waterburger. Yeah, yeah. Yep. Right. That's why if it's a 66, I'm sure I did. Yep. Waterburger founded in 1950 in Corpus Christi. It operates more than 1,100 restaurants in 17 states.

It's planning on opening 15 more stores by the end of June. The 15 stores are an effort for Waterburger to continue to compete nationally and really make sure they can spread themselves too thin and blame that for raising prices and using lesser ingredients. Waterburger is owned by BDT and MSD partners, a Chicago-based merchant banking and private equity firm founded by Byron Trott. Trot was sued by Weber investors after he rigged a take-private sale of the company to favor him in the tune of $2.3 billion, real normal guy stuff,

of the earth. I don't know what I just said. He. Yeah, you just, you were taken over. Oh, yeah. All this private equity stuff is like, oh, of course, because Nick was telling me before we started, he's like, I don't even really go to Waterburger anymore. It's like, there's like a quality drop off and all this stuff and it's private equity taking over. And then it's private equity taking over from a guy who rigs the system to give himself $2 billion in a take public,

then take private steam with Weber Grills. What? Oh, that Weber. So it was during COVID when everyone was buying grills. Pretty good grill. Everyone was buying grills during COVID. So the stock price went fucking berserk. It like shot way, way up.

And then everyone owned a grill. So it went back down. And as it all this was happening, there's like this take private. And it was like to like 40% of like what the price was. going to be he gets this amount to buy it back so he can own all like this equity in it and it's like two billion dollars in his pocket on a fucking rigged system. Yeah, but now he can put it back into the meat. Yeah, any day now he's going to put it back in. From what I understand and correct me if I'm wrong because I don't think that I am. Billioners are creating jobs this way. Yeah,

he's going to simply trickle it down. Uh-huh. Oh, perfect. I heard he was going to flood it. Oh, flood downward. Flood down. Yeah. Oh, Reagan said that works. Simply reinvest it. Uh-huh. in the company by buying back stocks and that benefits everyone. Yeah, absolutely. So you're welcome. Isn't that great?

I feel like anyone in private equity is just playing a meta game of business. It's all it is. Like they don't actually care about anything. They're just like, how do I extract as much value from this and then pass it off? It's that it's that capitalism

that sort of just ends things and you go, oh, okay, well, I used to like this. Yeah. Well, everything's more expensive and worse. The late stage stuff where it's like this really nice ski. town like the swill of people who moved in and like drove up the prices and everyone got like pushed out and now nobody works at the restaurants because no one lives in the town did you hear about in

rigleyville they had that lucky strike bowl like they read it all of rigley like rigleyville around the uh where the chicago cubs play baseball i was just there a couple years ago they got rid of like it's weird they got rid of like all the bars and everything and then they moved all expensive bars in and then put high rise luxury apartments on top of it and then lucky strike was like you know it's that town bowling alley thing or whatever. It can't afford to stay there. So now it's just this big dump waste of space. But now nobody goes to any of like these bars or restaurants because they're too

expensive and nobody's moving into like these apartments. So everything just like, hey, we're going to take out all the charm and we're going to put in all this expensive stuff. That's what it felt like. I was walking down the street and like a lot of the houses and the neighborhood in general around Wrigley Field is like cool and old school and nice. And then you get closer and it's like. This is our sports betting bar right next to the stadium that we own.

And I'm just like, bleh. Yeah. I think that's the, that's kind of like the new meta game as well with people who own sports teams. Yeah. Is buy up the surrounding property and you make a district. Yep. Oh, yeah.

It's like everything you own, you own the hotel, you own the bars and restaurants around. Instead of like, you know, building up your community by being the restaurant being close and it's owned by someone else, you just own everything. Yeah, yeah. And then you get all the money. And you get all the money. And then you take Weber. grill private and you get $2.3 billion. I just read that the Mavericks are doing that.

They're moving to North Dallas. They are. So they can build a sports district. You can, where the Valley View Mall was. You can bet anything on Kalshi. You can. We got to start getting into sports betting.

I think that's the point. Oh, I leave out sports. Yeah. Michael wants to get into everything. Betting. Yeah. And you can do all sorts of inside trading stuff and there's no regulation.

If you guys want to do it on this show. Yeah. You guys can bet on regulation. You can bet on, no. I was going to say we bet on 100% eat. What will they eat next week? And we already know. What's the over under and how far in where Nick's going to call Eric and ass wipe?

Yeah. Did you have under five minutes? Under. Then we'll just manipulate it. Exactly. How many short bitches do we need this week to get rich? Right. We haven't got those in a while.

I keep seeing these headlines that are like so and so inside like with inside information. Place the like a cow she bet. And it's like for like a hundred thousand. $1,000. Yeah. Because if it's, if the, the profit's like so little, but you just bet so high. Yep. Yep.

It's like a $400,000 bet and I won $50,000. Yep. Right. But it's like, but it was rigged. They still, yeah, rigged. Yeah, profited. But I see the headline, but there's nothing else after that. Yeah, it's just like this happened.

Yep. And there's no accountability. And the end. There you go. Let's do it. I say we do it. Yeah. Maybe we should think about it.

Anyway, that was capitalism talking. What a Burger, which has moved away from their A-frame building in recent years, is reintroducing the look in a quote, modern, updated way. Which is just a regular building, but they kind of put an A-frame at the top of the middle of it, sort of. Finally, a restaurant that listens to their fans.

If you build it, they will come. Oh, Jesus. It's spelled like that. Yeah. You can't see it, but that's cum, spelled CUM. Oh, they're still doing regular buildings, too. Stuff to come back in.

What are you talking about? What time was it when you wrote this? That is late. What the hell? Also, like, you'd have to explain it. Like, I wasn't going to immediately mention it. Yeah. So the building that we went to is just a water burger, right?

It's just like, it's just a box. It's just a box covered and cum. It's just a regular box. They're getting peeked dust all over it. But now, you know, like, where, I didn't forget. Where, like, the door was where we walked in. Above that would have been just like a big A frame.

Uh-huh. That's it. So, like, that's what they're doing. So it's just the box and they go, like, kind of put an A on it. could just like get rid of it entirely. That's what they've done. And then they're like, we're doing this again. And it's like, this isn't again.

This is what are you talking about? How important is the A-frame building to you, Nick? I'd rather good food. Hmm, interesting. Okay, that's a great. Now, that's a great idea. I'm going to just kind of pause this back. What if neither?

A-frame? You didn't think about that, did you? There you go. We're not going to, you're not going to like this. That water burger was nice, though. It's, well, I don't know that it's nice. It is new. It was coming.

It's like, it's like new and nice. It's like new inside. That is how it, like, I do think that in a year, it'll be like, ooh, what happened here?

If it gets run down and stuff, then it won't be nice. There you go. I think it's nice and new now. It's a, it's a lot of screens. A lot of, like the screens up there.

You got to have them. You got to have them. I need my screens. Yeah. And they're changing. George's doing screens right now. No static screens. He's doing calcium bets.

Oh, shit. James Tala Rico texted me. Oh, dude, what he's... Personally? Yeah, he's saying he's asking me to chip in even $1. Wow. Take back Texas. Your friend James? That's awesome.

I met him. Now you're voting for the other guy. Yeah, why are you voting for James Talafrico? Because that's an awesome nickname. It's awesome. Do you buy a shirt? Wait, is that really the nickname they gave him? They are trying so many.

Tofu Tofu Tauu Taurorofo Tala. Did you like the whole? Tala Frico. Tala Frico. Oh, what was the other one? It was him like looking weird. There was a one. There was like a tweet or something.

If only Ken Paxton looked weird. That is one of his. There was a tweet that was like, that was like, Paxton, I don't know if it's Paxton or like his campaign or whatever, but they were like replying to one at Talauggo sweets. And it was like introducing your first ever transgender, Texas like nominee. And nine.

Tender's Tala Rico or something. Well, they just call him transgender. Yeah. On a picture of him. And then they replied back, shut up, you ugly fuck. Oh,

oh, that was like Stephen Miller. Yeah, it was pretty cool. That's right. That's right. That's right. It's so crazy that Ken Paxson is going after anyone over looks. It's so fucking nuts.

He's Ken Pact. Like, they don't have any substantive policy issues to discuss. Well, no, I know. But then why not just go after Ken Paxson and be like, this ugly pedophiles is a real fucking freak, huh guys?

indicted pedophon. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. fucking crazy. Get him. Get that fucking idiot. I see why Trump likes him so much. Oh God. Yeah. No kidding. Looking for it. I'm winning. Uh, Bethel Rebecca Nicola 50 is facing charges after allegedly driving over a Waterburger manager's foot while she was taking orders at around 1 a.m. in Byron, Texas. The officer on the scene noted that Nicola had bloodshot eyes, smelled of alcohol, and held an open container of natural light. Natty lights? That's pretty much water, dude. This is an open and shut case. Open a beer and don't shut the case till it's done. Study, sleep,

Natty, repeat. Sauce monkey. That's a, hey, if anyone knows. If anyone knows. Who hasn't taken a six-pack to the library? They let you do that? No. No. You tease wild. What the whole? They don't let you. But I do it. I put in a big cup. It's the five-gallon thing. It's full of Nettie Lyle. But it looks like water. Do you see that Dunkin' Donuts coffee bucket thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to get that for you. They're doing big buckets to bucket of coffee. Yeah. He's already drinking that much. It's just in one container. I've only had two today. But Nattie Lights is a crazy one to be drink.

I guess that's maybe like her come down drink. Like you got to like it's like keep the buzz going in the Waterburger Drive-Thru and run over the man. It's so much liquid to be drinking for not any... It's so much liquid for like a 4.1 maybe. Like, you're not getting anything. I had an uncle who like, was it Milwaukee Ice or Milwaukee Best? Oh, that shit.

Milwaukee Best sucked. But do you remember? The best is in the name. Yeah. Uh-huh. You remember when all the ice beers were like the trend? Oh, those were brutal. They are, dude, they like tasted like a headache.

It's so bad. They were so bad. I feel like there's always like a, like a, shitty beer that like gets like spikes in popularity. Yeah. When I was like turning drinking age, it was like Pavs Blue Ribbon. Yeah. That was the big one. Suddenly it was unironically, this bad beer is good. Bush Apple is the one right now. Have you seen those?

Oh. It's so it's like it's Bush Light or Bush and it is apple flavored. And people are like running to the liquor store to like buy them out immediately when they get a shipment. Like limes out the doors of people getting like racks. So I can't get my Bush Apple or my Pokemon cars because of these people. Bush Apple is like not, it's just, it's sort of sweet like Apple, but it tastes like Bush. Dude, Bud Light lime. Oh yeah.

Dude, B.OLs? Oh, I made a whole summer off of B2Ls. It might be the same thing because it's all Anheiser Bush. Exactly. They're just using the same beer. Lyme makes so much more sense to me than Apple. Apple's nuts. Apple beer.

Is that something? What to you, which one would you rather have? Lime or apple beer? I would have, I would have lime and I don't really like lime. Uh-huh, yeah. But Apple seems crazy, right? Apple is apple. Like, give me a cider if I want apple.

Yeah, just give me a cider. I'll do like an Austin E-Siders, so I want Apple. Yep. I don't want, I'm not going to have a beer. But that's the beer right now. E-sider, pineapple? Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's a real good one.

That's a real good one. Those were also in vogue for like. They were for like a while. A while. I mean, it was the, uh, the, the, the Seltzer for like a couple summers and now they really like tapers. Yeah, I mean, that was huge. Everything's kind of going back to normal.

During COVID, it was fantastic. I've had too many true leads for a lifetime. If I never have another one, that's fine. But here's the thing, I'll go to a place and they'll have it and I'll go. I'll drink it. I'll never buy it again in my life. That's it. It was just, that's all you got. Yep.

Yeah. Anyway, bring back Bud Light Lime. And the final fact, in April of this year, and go to Calamari Grill. In April of this year, a giant brawl broke out at a waterburger in Waco with women punching and kicking each other while employees filmed. By the time the police arrived everyone had left and the only statement they got was employees saying

that there was a dark defender protecting them from their shadows. The police said, quote, he's the hero Waco deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it because he's not our hero. He's not a silent guardian.

A watchful protector. A sauce knight. Wow. Yeah, how late was it? Yeah. What was on TV? It's going, oh, dark night? No.

Good. Not the curb. I saw that video. It was awesome. It was crazy. They were beating the fuck out of each other and what? So many women, too.

It's what a burger. It's so many. Oh! Oh! It's so cool. There's so many women, too, right? It's like. It's six or seven.

How did this happen? It was. In the, it was like one in the morning, everyone's drunk. Everyone's just fighting. Boom, boom, boom. They're fighting each other. It's crazy. They got posted like TMZ.

It was huge. And then, and then they dispersed. Cops arrived. They have like, I don't think they've arrested anyone. It is just like, what happened?

I don't know. Okay. Cool video, though. Yeah. You know? That's a fine outcome, I think. Like, if they just had a fight and left. Well, fight then go.

Yeah. There you go. No, no need to get the police involved. And the sauce night. was watching from the, he's watching from the shadows. He's standing on like a lamp post. Is that what he doesn't stand on lamp posts? Who? He does, he might.

I would never stand in a lamp post. It's like a Spider-Man thing. He, you know, he was hanging upside down. Like a bag. That's what I'm saying. We're a monkey. He'll do like a crouch. Yeah, usually he's like hunched over on the.

Yeah, lampposts. On the corner of a building. Oh, he was standing on the classic Waco Gargoyle. And there's he was hunched over and watching. A flash of lightning. I was gonna say when you when you said you couldn't get your Pokemon cards too, but I wanted to finish that last fact. When I was,

I was renting a carpet washer from, from Walmart, I was waiting in like the service, I don't even remember, the service line for like returns, which is like godly, no, no, no, it was like ungodly slow. But they were like three people in front of me and two of the people like, I don't know what, you know, they were too far ahead, something with receipts. I'm sure they were returning some things or whatever.

The last guy that goes up in front of me and had to be like older than me. So I fully suspect, like the other two guys look like construction guys. You know what I mean? Like just like, just shirts. They're just like shit all over and whatever. It's like that's what you wear.

You know, like the outfit like you'd wear it going to Home Depot. This guy fit like that. He goes up and he goes, do you have any Pokemon cards? What? And I was like, home? Yeah. And she's like, whatever's on.

And he's like, oh, you don't, there's not like, you don't have any the back or I'm looking for some pack. Check the back for your popcorn. I was like no way. That's crazy. No way. Like it blew me away. It's reached like a level. I couldn't believe it. Like you waited in line

to ask that. Wow. Like it was like that's like a game stop question. Yeah. And it was like some old black lady that he was talking to. And she was like, she was like, what? She's like, yeah, I mean, whatever we have is like on this. And clearly he had just come from there. Yeah. Right. And he's hoping he could get like. And she's like,

Like, no. When do you get a new shipment? I don't know. I don't fucking know. Yeah, right. What are you doing? It was one of those. I was shocked.

That's crazy. Wow. All right. Oh, do you want to learn about the food? Yeah, let's see how they explain this one. Oh, nice. Yeah. Do you guys know that the new hot honey crisp

What a Chicken sandwich features a juicy breaded What a Chicken Filet topped with a creamy red pepper cheddar cheese spread? It's not even Pimento. Finished with a giant. Generous coating of hot honey made with chili crisp. Didn't know that. Served on a golden soft potato bun, every layer is thoughtfully crafted.

For a sandwich that's as elevated as it is indulgent. It's a combination that delivers on all levels. A satisfying crunch. Nope. A smooth and luscious cheese. Nope. And a hot honey kick that lingers just long enough to make an impression. No, zero percent hot.

I would argue it sticks around on you. Boy. I would also, I would argue like, what layers? Yeah. The cheese is lumpy. I thought of layer. There was a second where I was like, they didn't put the cheese on this. Yeah, oh yeah.

Same year. I had, I had bites where I went, they forgot the honey. I lifted it up and was like, oh, there it all this. Is pimento cheese trademarked or something? I don't know. I've no idea. Red pepper cheddar cheese spread. I don't, maybe there's something in pimento cheese that they didn't put in this.

Right. So they can't call it. Yeah, right. And so they can't call it that. So they're like, what's the cheaper ingredient? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what's the cheaper thing? It's like, oh, I'll just cut up red peppers.

I don't give it a fuck. and then uh did you think that the honey was hot at all no it was just honey it was not no not at all it was so sweet it was not hot there was definitely a lot of it the honey yeah i didn't have a lot of honey except for like oh my god i had too much so much

i had so much of mine wow it was pouring out of mine quote we know our fans are always looking for their next flavor obsession is uh buzz marketing for that movie yeah yeah back rooms said Waterburger Chief Marketing Officer Scott Hudler

the hot honey crisp What a chicken sandwich delivers that balance of sweetness heat and texture in a way that feels fresh fun an unmistakably

Waterburger No heat whatsoever I'm glad this was a short one at least Like he could have He could have kept talking about Don't worry The next part isn't short

Don't worry potentially even longer Yeah In fact we should probably Just get to it You want to? Yeah Wow

Well we have our review Of What a burger The next 20 minutes But we need to hear, could be longer, but we want to hear from you to say we call you review. So there's just two and then one? There's one little baby one. Right. Right.

That's what I'm saying. So there's just two real ones. And then there's one. So we'll each take one. So if we. Someone do first and third. Okay. I'll do the first one.

Okay. Justin O'Keeth. Is this middle name O'Keeth? I have no idea. Yeah. O'Kee. That's a new one. You know, something told me to take myself home.

Look at this fucking... Something told me to take myself home and just eat what I had there. But no, I decided to not listen, and this was my karma. Imagine just getting out of a calm 90-minute massage. Thank you, Cloud 9, and ready to have some dinner. I pulled up to Waterburger. I go through the drive-thru and get to the speaker. Guy greets me and says his name is.

Rick tells me to go ahead with my order. I begin and he says, what? I repeat it again. And he says with his full chest, you need to speak up. Yeah, I hit a full palm. Go off. I literally had to process what happened. Really?

Literally? Instantly, come out of my post massage chill and say straight up. What? Say what? I read the sentence. Also had to catch my tongue because it took all of my self-control to legit, no cuss this dude out. So I used to be a cheerleader in college. Uh-huh.

So you want me to speak up? Let's go. What are you saying? This guy has a real cocky attitude and just funky by. He asked you to speak up. You just didn't? The entire interaction after that is just off-putting. I've been doing this Yelp thing for over 12 years.

And I can tell you this was one of the worst customer experiences I've encountered in my life. After reading all of the other reviews while ruminating in the drive-through line, yeah, I weighed a good bit as usual at this spot. This seems right on point for how they operate. Avoid at all cost, good yelpers. You deserve to give your money to a business that cares. This one does not. Michael thoughts?

I shouldn't say it. How many like filler like phrases could they fit? Dude. Just, oh, every, I don't ever, I don't ever want to be in the room with this. Just every single sense. My confusion was on point. This, what are you talking about? This guy was asked to just like speak up.

And he crashed out. He got, he like fell apart. What? He had to literally process that. Now, listen. Just coming out of my 90 minute massage. Yeah. Shut up.

90. Shut the. Fuck up. He said that and then Nick went, What a burger after a 90 minute was right? You're asking for it. You're asking to be. Well, that was his karma.

Yeah. Hey, he should have listened. Now listen, you guys are making fun of him, but he's been doing this Yelp thing for over 12. 12 years ago. Oh, wow. You know, hey guys, don't make fun of him. Yeah.

Not sure I would admit that. Justin O'Keeth, H. Good Yelpers. Just shut the fuck up. My people, my good yelpers. Yeah, I hit a full pause. Oh my God, shut the fuck up. Oh, you insufferable fuck.

Don't worry. There's another long one. Jesus Christ. I'm glad you read that one. All right. This is from blue, blue, blue. Spelled three different ways. B.

What do you think the B stands for? Blue. Oh. I was going to say brown. Oh. It's their last name. I have been waiting for almost three weeks to get refunded for the least visit that I had at this location.

I have also been waiting on a manager to call me with an apology for being called stupid by a drive-thru employee. I called last week to follow up with customer service and the customer service representative was dry and rude. She told me that they were to get back to me whenever. I told her that her customer service skills needed some work Within two minutes of ending the conversations with her, I received a text from an unknown number calling me a dumb bitch. When I responded to the message that it was the Waterberger customer service representative, she then accused me of sleeping with her husband.

I call customer service. I like to believe this is just totally unrelated. I called customer service the next day and spoke with the customer service manager. She looked up the call and there was no record of my call. I called at 607 and the call lasted nine minute, including the whole time, and I received the text two minutes after the call. The manager said that she would investigate the matter and call me back. I called the store tonight and asked for the manager. Oh my God.

He said to him that I still haven't received my refund. He proceeded to tell me that I needed to go on with my life and stop harassing them. He talked to me so horribly that I had to take the phone from my ear and look at it. He said that I needed to get over it. I told him that I hadn't received compensation for the bad experiences as well as the refunds. He said, quote, do not come back to the location. If you do, you will be trespassing. I told him that wouldn't go back there even not to use the bathroom. I ended up telling him off at the end of the conversation because I was very frustrated with his behavior.

He shouldn't be in that position if that's how he towards customers. This experience has been horrible. And I am not going to stop until I receive an apology and my refund. I will be filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. Wait, she's the BBB. She is the BB, blue, blue. She's blue, blue, blue, she's, she's the BBB. What?

That's crazy. That's just made up, right? I mean, like, someone just went on Yelp and made this up. It's either made up, it's either made up or there's like this long con going on where people are pretending that they're the Whataburger. If you're going to go and do any help creative writing, at least do that. Dude, I'm so glad I could read that one. I got angry. Dude, that first one, that one's real.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. The. Denging a text. Dumb bitch. For an unknown number calling me a dumb bitch. It's either connected or like some other separate event just happened to. Well, that was the McDonald's.

Right. There's no record of your call. What? What? That's what happened? This person called like 17 times. Stop harassing us. Like 19 different customer service managers.

I got to say, I agree with Mohammed. You need to move on with your wife. You definitely should. Mohammed shouldn't have been the one telling her this. I am not going to stop until I receive an apology. I think you should probably stop. That can't.

I want an apology for being called stupid by a drive-thru employee. So while waiting on that apology, I got called a dumb bitch. bitch. Like, that can't be real. It's just tacking up. Now I need an apology for that. If it is,

it's not worth the trade off. Oh, man. It is. It'd be great if it was all one person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Calling her the dumb bitch and the calling you stupid, tell him, she's also,

this person's also pretending to be Muhammad. Move on! Oh, oh, man. Wow. That was something. Yeah, they're really good. Blue Blue Blue Blue B is really, got a lot to say.

Blue, Blue, Blue, is calling the BBB. Yeah. Conversely, Edwin S, is very shorty out. And it reads, I was in the drive-thru and I had been waiting for at least 10 men

and they was walking around. Rude lady. That's more like it. That's a classic one star. They was walking around? They was walking around. Dude, going back to this. And also, I guess there's a rude lady.

I'm telling you, rude lady. This first obnoxious fuck. Justin. Yeah. Oh, Are you talking about Justin O'Keefe It was a cheerleader in college? You're about to find out.

Yeah. With my whole chest. I'll speak up. Yeah. I'll repeat my order. Let's go. Number one. So insufferable.

Of course they're like, as I was waiting in line, of course I was looking up the Yelp reviews for the Waterburger I was at. And it matches. Like, oh my God. Oh, crazy. Oh, just. Oh. Like it makes my skin crawl.

Speaking of crazy, should we do it? Now, Michael, it's up to you. Mm-hmm. We do have one bonus you review. Mm-hmm. Okay. It is. Are you gonna do it? So I printed them out for all of us.

I thought it was multiple. No, no, no. Give me, it. Don't do it. You wanna popcorn it? Oh no, so whoever reads it, you gotta go for it. Nick, you want one? Okay. All right. This is the bonus you review.

Here we go. From Daniel L. Just realized that I, picked the ones that we already did, found this and felt like I still had to include it. Okay. Welcome to You Review Theater.

In my mind, fast food is supposed to be a relaxing, caressing experience. You are clearly sick, tired, or otherwise overwhelmed to cook for yourself or arrange for a better meal for yourself. My experience at this freak show was not relaxing or caressing. It was more analogous...

I don't know if I'm about it. There you go. It was more analogous to walking through dark Brooklyn alleys on a stormy night while clutching a hello kitty lunchbox. I am sure the design of this place was super clever and artistic. But it's a freaking nightmare to get in

and out of the parking lot. Even if you know what you are doing. Because the odds are there are a few morons who don't. Understand how the surrounding streets work. Hongk honk, middle finger hunk hong hongk. Welcome to Houston. Get used to it. Based on my first paragraph, you can assume that I do

not expect much from a fast food experience. Somehow this Waterberger franchise managed to set that bar so low within 20 seconds of me walking in I probably should have just walked out instead of ordering and waiting around for 20 minutes But my new philosophy on life is quote I'm doing it for the story Just what Yelp is for and I have Yelp to broadcast my story these days Wow, it's like you knew it's like I fucking knew The inside is dirty not dirty like a stray ketchup packet that had just fallen on the floor dirty Dirty like what the fuck dirty

More dirty than prison mess halls Even at prison mess halls There would be no excuse for this kind of clap traps Since someone's face would have been used As a moist towelette on the floor By a larger more threatening in me What are we talking about now? It's a fan fig

Good thing I wasn't eating my burger off of the floor You know as you wouldn't be anywhere So I just shuddered and shuffled forward in line I then looked around the filth and Saul was in who was in line and waiting for their food. It looked like a carnival show of horrors. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Piercings here, there, and everywhere. Sleeve tattoos and monstrosities on legs. Skin condition this. Skin condition that on the few people without tattoos. A bald woman. Is this a grandma? Like, what were we just talking about? Oh, you'd be so cute without the peer.

This is worse. Yep. Extremely overweight dude that looked like his heart was going to explode before I placed my order. And to my external, and to my eternal rage,

only one girl working the register with a tenuous grasp on the English language. It's always interesting how it comes back to that, right, Jordan, isn't that? Isn't that shocking? Wow.

While the manager and some younger cashier is just standing around doing nothing, not lifting a finger or trying to get the people in and out of the restaurant. There was a large line

that had been, There was a large line that had formed. Unacceptable. And there was one guy making all the food. He was going as fast as he could. I don't blame him. I blame the Bonehead manager for having one dude on food patrol. And he didn't even look like he had chugged a few Red Bulls to amp up due to a lot of work really quickly.

He didn't look like that. He didn't look like that. He didn't. I waited a really long time for a simple, simple order. When I lived in San Antonio, they had my burgers down to a science. You were in and out so fast, and they knew what a mop was. Not only what a mop was, they knew how to use it. And they actually did use it.

That is the best sentence I've ever heard. Wow. Ernest Hemingway, eat your heart out. And there were not all sorts of carnival freak show sites around me. If I was the manager of this place, I would hang my head in shame. For $7, you get a number five with jalapenos, 40-ish cents extra, and drink and fries. Overpriced. I drank my weight in soda while I waited.

So joke is on you clowns. When the bag was handed to me, there were more fries outside the fry container milling around inside the bag than there were in my fry container. Your fries are milling around. Don't eat. With the freak shows. I am clumsy enough that probably would have happened on my own. after I walked out of the restaurant. So I guess they did me a favor by raising my self-esteem.

I just wonder who in the chain of custody defried my fry container. Oh, the humanity. I was sick and lazy and hungry. So I came for a caressing, uplifting awesome lunch to make me feel better. I came away with a disgust for this franchise and would never ever come back here. I hate this place with the fury of 100 Red Dwarf Sons. loser. This guy loved Stane Helsing. Yeah, absolutely.

He might have written Oh, dude, you know about Stan Helsing? No, it's Bozenga. Yeah, dude, Stan Helsing knew what a mop was. And not only what a mop was, you knew how to use it. It actually did use it. That is the three best sentences

I've ever heard. I love that. It's good that the cook didn't look like he drank a bunch of Red Bulls? Yeah. Is it good or bad? I don't. No. No. He should look like that. But then also he'd be one of the freaks you hated.

Yeah. Ugly, ugly, ugly. Woman, woman, immigrant. Bold woman! Jesus Christ. And you know Daniel, he looks like kid Paxson. Dude, you know, so you know he looks good. Isn't that, like, I read that and was just like, this is fucking ridiculous.

How long it is. It's the four page. This is one of the more insane ones. The creative writing. And this one, I believe. Yes. The creative writing. I believe this is a real person here.

The creative writing on Yelp is like, it's all like this. Man. It's people who really want. Like BB BB, B's. That's a funny story that I feel like they probably made up. That first one and this last one I don't like it. I'm a big fan of Edwin's favorite. They was walking around rude.

We need more people like Edwin. Oh my God. Well, those are your reviews. We should get Justin and Daniel to like meet each other. Oh, right. And they just put in a room? Yeah, and they just go forever. Yeah.

Well, they would be like, Um, me thinks you. Yeah, God. They would come out and be like, so we've decided we are the two funniest people in the world. Oh, hello, kind sir. Oh, hello, a good yelper. I see you're matching my wish. And here's what Mr.

Pohl's kind of wrong. Well, those are your reviews, but we have our reviews of what a burger's hot honey Chris. What a chicken sandwich. Jordan, we ate it. Today was close to 20 minutes. Yeah. Today, you're right. Pretty good. Today was the first day that this was

available at the day of this recording. Wow, so hot off the grill. It was a hot sandwich. We got it. The friar. It was hot when it came out. It was fucking hot. I will say there's bags they got. Yeah. They keep that shit hot. Yeah. What didn't do a good job of being hot was the hot honey. No, not at all. Just normal honey.

I feel like when I bit into it. Just normal red honey. Yeah. I mean, that's what it is. Normal red honey. Sticky red honey everywhere. So, I feel like all they did by combining whatever the hot is to make it the hot honey is it just makes it more liquidy.

Yeah, it's thin. It was really thin. But even messier in that way. Yeah. Like honey doesn't pour out like a sauce. This does. They just took honey and turned it into like a honey sauce. Yep.

Which just made it pour out of the sandwich even more. It was almost syrupy. Yeah. Yes. It was syrupy. Way beyond honey. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was syrupy.

I feel like honey is a little stronger and like, you know. Not, you go like this and it pours out. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it should have been like whatever the pimento cheese spread was or the hot honey and not both. Fucking say pimento. I'm sorry. Pimento-s choppy, red chili.

The cheddar spread. It should have been that or the hot honey and not both because I feel like for some reason it like really mushify. altogether. It was mushy. It was mushy. And they kind of like... Sticky mush.

They just like the flavor's like just butted heads when I was eating it. That I was like, well, I think I would have liked one or the other more. So I don't know why they made this. Again, I don't know what... Why do the cheese bread and then the hot honey? You should just do one or the other. I guess you got a lot of hot honey left over. It's just kind of a confusing mess.

And then it's just so sticky. And I also... How was the chicken? I also don't like how they fry anything there. Like I've never gotten like one of their fried chicken sandwiches or even their onion rings I don't like. Like they're always like cooked a little too much and I don't like the breading. The breading is always so much more dry than the chicken. Yeah.

So this one's definitely a miss for me. I'm going to give it a 38. 38. Michael, what do you think? Harsh. I like the flavor. I don't really care for their chicken either. I do like their burgers and I do like their onion rings.

They do fry them more. I like that they're thinner. Like I feel like frying them more by having the less breading. It's a, they're great. I like the onion rings we got the other day. The big giant ones. These are great.

I'm driving in my car. I'm going to shove these in my mouth as I drive home before I eat my sandwich. Yeah. That's when I always get them. And I have this little like perfect spot in front of my, my, my gear shift where I can shove the box in.

Yeah, it's where I put my fry boxes and shit and I shove it in there and I just eat them while I drive. I bet if they were hot, They had cooled down a little bit. You have to eat them immediately. Like, they're not great by the time I get home. And they were milling about in our bag.

But the hot honey wasn't hot at all. I don't really understand the point. It was so goddamn messy. The cheese sauce was good, but it was so not spread evenly. Which is, I feel like so important because it was so globular that you would get a bite, like, without it. And then a bite that, like, was too much. It was way too much. And it's, and it wasn't just because of, like,

the flavor of it. It's because it was just packets of it, like throughout. And it's like, I don't think there's a, take a knife and go like that and like spread it. And I feel like that was vitally important. Like,

yeah, it was like condensed in the middle. Like, they probably just squirted it on. Yeah. At first clients, it didn't look like there's any on it. But like,

it really would have benefited from just being evenly spread. Yeah. Um, I feel like it would have made the parts without it better and it would have made the parts with too much of it better. Yeah. The chicken's fine

But like why the honey you though? Yeah, no, I mean, you don't really need it. And again, it's not even hot at all, so especially why? It wasn't hot at all. It's just honey. You've simply just made my sandwich sticky. It's just sticky for no reason. And it was all right.

It was 54. 54. I like their burgers way more. Well, that's an average rating. 46. Which is 20 points lower than the last. time we had, what a burger. Well, I mean, what they had last time was probably more simple.

Yeah. Like just a bacon cheese burger. This is definitely going off the, uh, hot honey again, man. The expected thing, but like, I'm just, too. I'm just, go away. I bet I really like a cheeseburger with this cheese on it. Take off the hot honey and just do the cheeseburger, but evenly spread it. I probably really like that.

I'm just not interested in anything else that's hot honey. Yeah. Like, why are we still doing it? Why are we still rewarding them? Still a lot, man. There's like, I, I think we're gonna, I think we're gonna see it all summer. I think it's gonna keep coming. Cut it. I know. How do you spell it?

Summer? Hot honey. Come in! You'll never know, and I'll never tell. You did tell. What the fuck? You read it, you wrote it like four times. And spelled it out. We got a 100% eat.

Dot store for merch. You can also sign up to become a 100%. Oh! Finally got it! It's a new month! It's a new month, baby! Oh, here's finals. Here we go!

You needed the big cup. But still he got it. It's been a long drought. It sure is in there. Wow. If you like that, go to Patreon.com slash 100% eat to sign up now. What a shot, Nick.

That's for the Spurs. You're like the Corgi. You're like the Corgi that predicts it. They picked in seven for the Spurs. Did they pick in seven for this one for the finals? Wow. Wow. Tell them about the Cuck experience, Chair, that they can enter.

No, they already did that. Yeah. What do you mean? They can. No, it's over. What's you keep going? No, you can't keep going. It's done.

It's over, and it was a rousing success, I have to say. It was. We had a lot of entries, but because there were a lot of people who signed up become 100% fans, guess what? We have a lot of shoutouts. We got to get through. And Jordan is going to go through that. Here we go, reading four today because some of them are short. Wow!

This first one is from Fuzzy Wingman, who offers a hammering reading, I'm hammering myself. Nice. It's called Pleasure. For upgrading my second account to 100% fan, just for the bit of having two entries. Nice. Our second message is from Fuzzy Wingman 2. Yeah. Okay.

The creativity in the name is so funny. It's T-O-O. It's awesome. Oh, that's great. It says, this is getting out of hand. The other are two of them. I like that. You know, Fuzzy Wingman, you're good one.

Like, good ones. Yeah, not like these reviews. Thank you for signing out. Twice. You was walking around. and we got one from David Michael Escobedo Pacheco who leaves a message reading Howdy Kings, Elder Rat, and Sauce Monkey.

Thanks for keeping me company through the years and for the 100% food recommendations. We don't recommend this one. I'd like to ask you all to shout out my little monkey sister, Gabby, and call her a rat since it's her go-to comeback. Whoa! Gabby the Rat? Many are calling you Gabby the Rat.

Is the Gabby you, you're a rat. Yeah. Gabby, you rat fuck. I don't know if Gabby knows that one yet. Well, it's been sad. Try it out, Gabby. Try it out on David. Yeah.

Gabby, you rat, fuck. Have you tried ass wipe? How about rat wipe? Fucked up. All right. And our last one. We're going to get a lot of these, I feel. similar to one we got last week. This is from Alina.

Offers a hammering. To my brother for 100% dying before cashing out that sweet Make a Wish trip. Eye rolling emoji. God. He's your first confirmed ghost listener. Oh my God.

If I win the Cuxperience. Oh my God. He flies spirit free. RIP both. Us losing is basically like denying a child with a cancer wish crying face. It happens though. It happens. They get denied

though. Oh my God. I like the Spirit Airlines at rest of the feet boat. Holy shit. I love when like you can take a tragedy and make it funny. Wow. Well, if you want to become a 100% fan. Well, I hope

you win. Yep. Sorry, he can't. You miss the Cuckcher Experience entry, but you can still become a 100% fan at patreon.com slash 100%. You can also sign up at the $10. Greckle or Compliance Grackle tier. And you can watch the Michael Jordan podcast. It tastes worse.

Yeah. You're walking around. You follow us on Twitter and Instagram and Blue Sky at 100% Eat. And you can send stuff to PO Box. That's P.O. Box 143241, Austin, Texas, 87714. P.O.324. Austin, Texas, 8, 78714. 100% treat has been going off crazy style.

It's been a lot of fun. It's been really good. So, send some stuff in and see what happens. Nick? We will see. All right, one more. No, too bad. Now the spurs are going to lose.

It's still close. Well, if you get one in now, you can fix it. I would have kept it just at one in one, but you got great. He's throwing sauce packets. Last one for Nick. Here we go. Rate, subscribe, tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food and do slam dunks. Ooh.

Allie, oop. Nix and five? Whoa! Oh, I'll kill you. Bye. Said Nix, like Nick. Oh.