100% Eat - Eric's Food Failure %% Papa John's Pan Pizza

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

The order never went through! Our Heroes have a food failure at Eric's behest but they make the best of it. 5 stars, they don't give you a chance. Why is it even called Papa John's anymore? Let us behind the counter NOW! New year, new merch (for you) https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the Golden Moment. Triumph on the podium, Golden Hand. But with Corona Cerro, Golden Moments go beyond the Winter Olympics. They're enjoying sunsets, time outside, reconnecting with nature, and laughs shared with friends. For every golden moment at the Winter Olympic Games, enjoy your own with Corona Serro, 0% alcohol and a source of vitamin D. Corona Ciro, the official non-alcoholic beer of Milano Cortina, 2026. Ben,

ban, Ben, Ben, uh, hasn't been that for a while. But can we go back? Simpleer times? Can we go back?

To the good old days? Nick, this week, put in the old theme song. Let's change it. I don't think we can afford that. Just do it anyway. Do it anyway.

You speed it up, speed it up 4% and no one even knows. Suddenly he's all about it. Yeah, who cares? If you only do seven seconds. If it makes Michael happy, I'm all for it.

You just want you to be happy. I want to be happy like the guy at Papa Johns was happy. That guy was thrilled. Welcome. The 100% eat the show where we try every fast food restaurant. You know if you need it, probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Swayors. Jordan, how are you?

Are you happy? Are you considered? You know, relatively great. Yeah. Excellent. Yeah. We did our job. That's the show.

That's the boys. My only complaint. I really need a haircut. Same brother. Same. Be careful with them, though. Yeah. Get you in hot water.

important to know. I've had to move this haircut four times. Wow. No, it's like three times. Oh, yeah. Don't exaggerate. There's no storm and then getting sick. Yeah. Sorry, yeah, I doubled up. Me and Jordan are sick. Is the hair harder to cut when it's sick? Yeah, it moves. It screams. I feel worse for the person cutting my hair when I'm like, wah! That's fine. They like it. Yeah, they actually think it's fun. They like it. It's like changing up. You know how you do like the same thing?

It's hot. Wow. Thank you for being in this confined space with me while I, like, work around your face. That's what you guys are both doing to me right now I mean between this like sick pod I'm better though you don't sound better No I'm fine and I can tell Jordan's not better This is even if he walked in today Hair like a crazy yeah, I mean look at it And I was like I was like Jordan I don't think I've ever seen your hair such a few

Ever ever ever It started like parting on its own Yeah, like it's so long You need to figure something else out It's tough yeah it's like water it's fighting the path of least resistance I will say a lot could have gone wrong today to make this a very difficult episode

for you Eric overcame great struggles did you? What'd you struggle with? Ordering the food apparently I well I mean you didn't really overcome it you failed yeah but then you failed and then just ordered it again overcame it made a new friend

I was I said and I said which seems like a normal sane thing to say when we were in the car after the food failure and I was like we should just order here right Because I feel like Eric goes about the drive away and goes so wild. No, no, I was had to confirm. Because that's what he does, though.

But he's like, it's all a wash. We're going somewhere else. And I'm like, I don't know. I was just like. The result is we got to go back. I was waiting. I was waiting for him to drive to another Papa John's and then place it in person anyway. I'm like, well, we should just do it here.

And then the guy goes six to ten minutes. Yeah. So. There's nothing at all. And boy, did we use that time? Oh, yeah. Hey, what are we eating today? Bob John's.

Yep. Apparently they have a pan pizza. A pan pizza. They've never had pans pizza before? How's that possible? I don't know. That's like, it's like regular paned thin crust. They maybe had it like over 10 years ago, but I don't think they did.

I don't think they did. I don't remember ever having it. Was it like the thing where like Domino's finally did? What did they finally do? It's like we've never had. Well, they did cross. They're like, we never did it. Yeah, they didn't.

Everyone keeps saying we did. We never did. We didn't. Fuck you. Yeah. That wasn't us. So, uh, they did like New York style. They did like New York style.

But then they were like, now we have Brooklyn style. That's right. It's like, it's the same thing. And then Chris is like, what's a bro? Chris had to name burrows. Didn't know any of them. Connecticut. Doesn't even like so. Queens?

Yeah. Zordom, ma'am domy. So went to order the food online this morning, placed the order, went to go pick up the food. And the guy went, could it be under a different name? And I went, yeah. Always a good sign. As that was happening, Nick leaned over to us and he's like, they don't have the food. Yeah.

I mean, we were just, we were hanging out. Yeah. You were up there and we were in the back. Nick, Nick's like, they don't have it. Nick's back, well, enough was like to the conversation, but his ears were like, backwards,

yeah, were like, backwards ears, sonar ears. And then they flipped back over, he's like, guys, I got bad news. And I went, oh no, and then immediately ran over to Eric. Yeah. And then,

Nick did not like that part. Nick was hiding in a sweatshirt. He was hiding in a sweatshirt in the car. I went back, reading the strip club reviews. So I went back to my car because I thought, when he's like,

that's your first, fucking problem. First mistake. Stop thinking, asshole. There's another location up further on this road. Really? Yeah.

And I went, oh, fuck, that's probably where I ordered it. That's it. Went back in the car, looked at the location when I put in the zip and all that stuff. And then it was like... You got no info or nothing.

It was like, oh, never mind. This was the location I ordered it to. It's funny. You said the address and I was like, that's definitely the address because I was standing off to the side. And it just happened at eye level was like their license.

And it had the address. Yeah, and you were like, it expires next week. Yeah, they got to renew that. Oh, no. They're probably on top of it. But Michael's right.

We did, we just placed the order, walked back in, placed the order real quick, came back to the car. Eric walked in with his tail between his legs. He was like,

I'm here to order a food. And he took his mustache off. Hey, the guy was, to be a different guy. Yeah, I'm a different guy. The guy was really fucking cool. He's like, you're not going to get charged twice, right?

Like your other transaction, Double chat. He like did not want to make more money for this company and I'm all for him. So he's a very cool guy. That's why I cheered for him. But then we got back in the car and he's like, it's like 10 minutes.

Six to eight, six to 10 minutes or something. Super fast. All right, cool. So hey, do we want to drive around or not? And Michael went, hey, check out these like Yelp reviews. I found out this strip club. And I'm like, this start rolling. Yeah.

The ride along this week is you review strip clubs. It's in two parts. Fucking awesome. this needs to be something we do. I have to go now to see if they're real. These are so... These reviews are so fucking good. It is just guys going,

I got scammed out of $200 and they kicked my ass out. It's the same people who... Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. Who would leave a one-star review for a fast food restaurant? Who's the person who would leave a one-star review for a... And most of them aren't about the strippers. No.

It's about how much water... were they gone? There was one guy who said that he had earned a nickname Lazy? Yeah, hey guys, it's me lazy. That's my name. One guy said he was cured of his erectile dysfunction. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, I have ED and even they got me hard. That's what the review says. That was the first review that made us go down this bath and we're like, this is fucking good. We need to judge, so like, Reminds me like a Gavin's little porno visit. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

One of her jack off. It's running out. 1,800 whore? We talked about that forever ago. Yeah, am I the whore? Yeah, right. Dude. Two whore.

What? I feel like we've only explored the fast food restaurants and now strip clubs with these reviews. I feel like these could be as good for anything. Yeah. Like, crazy people are leaving reviews for anything. Yeah. I mean, you do like SeaWorld. You can do a car wash.

It's kind of everything. Whoa. But my car got dirtier. Strip club, Sea, SeaWorld Car Wash. That can be the new combination. Mixing them up. Here's the thing.

I'll read a review and then you guys can tell me what it's for. The whale was rubbing themselves on me. I paid for a $50 dance with the whale. And then as soon as we got out of the room, they wanted another $200. And I'm like, who do you think you are? Shamu? Yeah. So anyway, this was Car Wash.

According to some of the reviews, they look like Shamu. They offered my boyfriend a hand job. Most of the people insulting the looks of the dancers were women, applying to be dancing. Crazy. They're like, I apply. These fat ugly bitches were fat and ugly. And then hire me. Right. And also, yeah, I'm a little overweight right now

in the review and you just go, what? Yellow rose off of me in application. Good enough for them. I should have taken it. They'll kick Shane out. And they'll hire me. So, uh, ride along really good. Got the food. The pan pizza. Right along really good.

Papa John's Papa John's and Bojangles curse This did seem like an apt follow-up after after last week's essence I could not believe when I saw that they were doing

a new like a pan pizza I went well we have to do this Yeah he's Papa John's guy Yeah through yeah all the way He bleeds Papa solidarity He bleeds sweat I just That's right

Remember when he eat 40 pizzas and 30 days He didn't even do that right Yeah that's what he said he did Yeah, and I rescheduled my hair point me four times. Yeah, more like three. Three pizzas. I just don't think that, like, will Papa John's ever shake that stigma? The restaurant?

Papa John hates black people? No, I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. Until they change the name, that's what it is, right? Judging by how every time we go there, we bring it up and talk about it and make sure. How can you not talk about it? It's the craziest. How can you not?

Dave Thomas, Reckoning? Dave Thomas would never. No. No. No. He unalived himself. That's for it. That's right. Yeah. He said, I will go out pure.

He bit the cyanide and he was done for. Sort of foam at the mouth. He got a false tooth. Yeah, he was hidden in his tooth. His whole life. He made it that far. He's had it in there. No!

Yeah. Dead! He was like, I'm in the Epstein files. Apparently everyone's in the Epstein files. Dude, so many people in there. Yeah. Also, and this is the shit they can... It's all via email.

This is the shit they kept saying to. Yeah, the files are just his email. This is the shit they kept saying to forever and ever. Like, there's nothing there. And it's like, anyway, here's some more shit. It's like, there's so much there. There's so much there. It's, uh...

And sure, it's not like most of it's not like black and white. No. Like, them, like being very overt about it. But if you read between the lines. Yeah. It's all the Pizza Gate stuff was true, but just there. All of the Wayfair stuff was true. Did you see the year?

It was crazy. the John Stewart mentioned. Oh yeah, yeah. That was great. It was John just saying Epstein pitching to CBS or whoever of like you guys should do a documentary on Woody Allen.

On Woody Allen basically to like turn this around for him you know and like focus on this and it should be narrated by a John Stewart like person. John Stewart or someone like him. He was like, is it me or not? He was offended.

Hey, getting banned on Xbox Live is crazy. That takes a lot of work. What kind of... Jeffrey Epstein got banned on Xbox? You don't see that? Yeah.

What do you think some kind of Papa John's language he was used on? Dude, I think he was saying... I feel like that, trust me, for my experience in the way, I played Xbox and the people I met,

that won't ban you. No. No. So, how did he get banned? Have you ever played Halo 2? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They loved it. Yeah.

I think he was saying, what's your name, who's your mom, I'm gonna fuck your mom. I'm gonna make this happen for real. Yeah, uh-huh. Can I fuck you and your mom at the same time? Would you like a million dollars?

Yeah. I think a lot of this stuff was like, dude, he got banned from Xbox. It's, you know, it's horrible and like, you know, villainous of like all the like immoral things he did and like the underage, you know, children and such. Sex trafficking. Yeah, right.

Sex trafficking, bad. You know what? I'm not afraid to admit. You're taking a stand? I'm taking a stand and I'm against it. Wow. Hey, and if we lose viewers over that, then.

sorry I take it back. Yep. But, but I, where's the like Jeffrey Epstein texting 30 year old Michael being like,

fuck you for a million dollars? I'm like, that's pretty good. Like as a rational adult who can, you know, make my own decisions, I'd be like,

that's a million dollars. I sure this guy's shady, but I just want to put this out there. I just want to ask, if he was playing Xbox, he got banned from Xbox alive, and that's the kind of guy that he was.

You think people banned him for being tall? Do you, yes, do you think he was watching Achievement Hunter? Him and Osama. Waiting for brothers in arms. That's the next batch where he's just like emailing. Bro, if Achievement Hunter gets mentioned in the Epstein files, that'd be awesome. Search Gavin.

He didn't earn the achievement in the Minecraft videos. They need to start taking the tower of him seriously. Pause this. Search Ray Brown Man. Don't search that second word. Mark Nuts. That's what he was called. Yeah, but something else is going to pop up in those eyes. What does that mean? Something else is going to pop up in those.

Popper John's, brown man. Mark Nut. Fish. Moonball. Iron lung. Hey, I got this idea for a movie. I think Woody Allen would be perfect for it. That and then him. Oh, and then they also came out like his daughter wife.

Uh-huh. They said an email. She was like, I think the Me Too movement went too far. Uh-huh. Of course that is what they think The stuff I really liked was him having influence To start like helping to like start 4chan And like slash it was like an adamant user Like slash pole like for like their politics for him

And you're just like oh cool So you guys are all orchestrated from the inside That's crazy Do you think he's Qanon? Yes 100% That's why he was that's the Annan part He just wanted to stay anon

Dude, why? Papa John We need to search Papa John to see if it's there To see if he emailed about like Snatter? Yeah, my food didn't even go through Like it's him emailing Papa John's

Because his food didn't go through But then also emailing about Papa John Is he trying to put himself In like an Epstein like situation What do you mean? I'm sure Jeffrey Epstein Order the food It happens to have it done

Everybody This happens everyone Notorious sex traffickers You need a John Stewart like person narrating Eric trying to get the Bojangles curse for Papa John's. They just want the pizza. They just want the pizza.

Is the Bojinkles curse something that happens to you or something Papa John says? There's a lot. I think it's something you're born with according to Papa John. Fuck. Whether there's any landmines in these years. Yeah, what are you talking about? I can't imagine what the Papa John U reviews are like. I think the U reviews will probably just be people who don't.

Let's cut to the chair. His views. Who's watching the All American Halftime show this Sunday? That's right. That's right. Kid Rock! They got Kid Rock! They got Kid Rock! He's gonna play all of his best songs. I can't believe it. Incredible.

Does he still have that little sidekick? Dude, all that forever. And then you announce Kid Rock. What? Josie is dead. Nick did no. So is Jean Bonnet. That was apparently

emcee files also. Wait, he did it? He got her? There's like weird crossover with it. What the fuck? Yeah. Damn, dude. This is crazy.

What a time to be alive. Hey, you know what? Jeff is my hero. There he is. But with the G, G, Jeff. Yeah, G, Jeff. Different one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Same guy, as far as I know. Every time somebody says, who hired me? I don't know. Some guy over email. I said, I'm here for the interview. They put the shackles on, put the fucking pillow kiss over my head. No way I went. Started working.

Sometimes you got. Started cranking out online content. Face down, ass up. Just keep making it. No wonder he was. as a fan. Fake it till you make you. That's regulation.

How's that going? Weirder now. Weirder now. Listen, there's, honestly, there's less email? I don't know. More in person communication. Benghazi. Yeah.

Think about it. That's worse, maybe, right? Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh. Hey, Papa John's in general? Four against?

I feel like we, every time we review it, it's like, all the, the Papa John, the human stuff, side. Yeah. The pizza's like okay. It's fine. It's better than pizza. It's better than Pizza Hut. Way, way, way worse than Dominos. Exactly. Why would you ever

order it? Exactly. Why would you ever write anything but Domino's if you have the choice? I need to really like we should sit down and like actually hash this out and like not just do like a tier list but like a quality like a ranking that shows like how far apart they are. Oh interesting. So like pizza would be like super

far away from Papa John's. If you're doing fast food pizza right, it's Domino's Pizza Hut Papa John's little cheese. I wouldn't even they count Little Caesar because they don't deliver. No, Little Caesars isn't even like one that I put on that list because it's a separate category. You got to at least like, will they deliver? It is. It's three. There are three.

I think Little Caesar should be included because. Uh-huh. And Mark, what? They're like an honorable man. They deliver? Do Little Seasers deliver? No, no. No, he's talking about.

He's whispering Gatties and all this stuff. And Marcos, you know, the pizza you always get. We're talking about this little Caesars make the list. What are you talking about? He's just said Gatty's and Marcos over and. They're lower than Little Caesars. Getty. Getty.

Yeah, but it's slop crap. No. I think with the value that they provide, Little Caesars needs to be in the discussion just because like, even if they don't deliver, they deliver good prices of us. They're the honorable mention.

They're like standing next to the podium, just nodding. I agree. And everyone's high-fived for them too. Everyone likes little seizures. There's nothing wrong. I think even little Cesar's coming in fourth is really number two.

Yes. Sure. I can say that. It's still better than pizza and Papa Johns. We can ring those three, but also like, If it's a pizza restaurant We would go to

What about C Cs Like Marko Well that's a pizza buffet I'm just I'm just throwing it out there For more things for him to say Marco, Marco's Gattie's Marco's Gattie's Cic's doesn't deliver We have a list

What about C CC's? What about C Cs? Can we go to C C Cs and then Scream and scream and scream out of for months And then we get there And then they go Oh they don't have that one pizza Oh but you could ask for it

I didn't I didn't I'll let you know about it What happened. That's what happened. Go back and watch the CC's episode. When we finally went. When we finally went, you're talking about the thing they didn't have that they usually

have, but you can ask for them to make it and then he didn't ask. It would have taken 10 minutes. Right. We were there for an hour. And we were there, you know, we were only there for five. You know, it's a pizza buffet. We were at the pizza buffet for five minutes. We were there cramming cinnamon rolls into a cup.

I'll say this though. We did go there. Yeah. Sat down, ate our food. There were people already there. We left before anybody who was there before us left. They were settling in. I remember that.

Some of them had kids, though. They were in the arcade. They were doing the arcade, the side room. The strip club day manager. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I'll see what's open.

Okay. Let us know. Leave a review. I'm gonna let you know because we're all going. Oh. Hey, do you guys are with 130. You guys want to learn about Papa John's? No.

Come on, baby. He doesn't like black people. I know that. He does. But no, but that's, I mean, that's not in here. He does? He does. He does?

He does. He does? agreeing he does, doesn't, or he's changed? Yeah, pro anti-Semitism or what? Pro anti-Semitism or? We're doing what we got out here. Our Papa John, our last Papa John's episode was on June 7th, 2025, where we ate the Papa John's cheddar crust pizza and cheddar cheese sticks.

He received an average rating 39, not good. Any memory of that at all? Not at all. Cheddar cheese sticks. I bet it sucked ass. I bet it was a regular pizza and they were like, look, we did something to it. like, doesn't look like it. That's exactly what happened.

You've ordered, open the pizza and went, huh. Been doing the show long enough. Oh, yeah. Yep. There you go. Don't remember the food? I can imagine it. Absolutely.

The cheddar cheesesticks were just their cheese sticks, but with some orange speckles in it. Yeah. I remember this now. Yep. Yep. That's Papa John for you. Yep. A new class action lawsuit alleges that Papa John's bombards consumers with spam emails that

that contain subject lines that create a false sense of urgency. Oh, no. Imagine getting a Papa John's email, dropping everything to order a pizza, then realize you got duped because the quote, last tins for Bogo pizzas tricked your stupid ass into ordering a shakeroni pizza with extra chasperonies. Okay, just making sure that's right. You stupid bitch, you deserve to get tricked. Just for that, sauce monkey is going to put a curse on you and on Papa Johns. Hit him with it. You're going to die.

Whoa. That's the curse. You're going to die. I was expecting like some, like, abracadabra handma. I was thinking like an uncle, like, you know, go, guy, fight, he's out. Oh, yeah. You're gonna die. You and your friends are dead.

You and your friends are dead. The curse. Should that be on the eight ball? That's good. Did that guy rule? Prison break season two, also drive 3D. Yeah. And prison break season two.

I didn't. No. said at the beginning. Oh, you did. Prison Break, season two. Oh, I'm sorry. I started with it. Sorry, guys.

I'm just tuning back in. Hey, do you know he's in prison break season two? Great season. I didn't know that you and your friends are dead was a thing that you guys quoted all the time. That was a thing that independent of that. It was being my friends quoted all the time. It's like my favorite quote from that movie. You and your friends are dead.

The way he delivers it is like, it's awesome. He's awesome. Yep, yep. It's so cool. It's so cool. It is very cool. Yep. And it turns out.

they were dead, but mostly killed by the Joker. That's right. Mount the curb. What's that? I said, Mount the Curb. Oh, I thought he said not the curse. Bojangles Curse. Mount the Cur!

Still trying to recoup after the disaster of Papa John himself. The Papa John's stock continues to tumble down 31% over the last three months. The valuation of Papa John's is roughly 30% under where analysts believe it should be, and there must be some kind of curse going on here. Any particular curse is you? you guys can think of that could be happening.

The sauce monkeys curse cannot be stopped unless you pay $10,000 to sit in the cuck chair. We gave him an out. Oh, I hope it curse is cured. We gave him an out. You can stop the curse. Save him. You can save them.

You and your friends can live. I thought we were making it more expensive. Yeah, next time. But the first time, but we have to wait and see. You know what I mean? Yeah. Someone has to do it first. You got to pretend like someone hasn't done it yet.

I don't know what you're talking about. Hey. Time will tell 31% That's just over the last three months That's crazy That's a lot They're

What year I'm glad my 401k Isn't invested in Papa John I'm all in on Papa John They're down so low And then more How low can they go What do you think

How low can they go? Is it just Papa? It's PZZA Okay that's How'd they get that How'd they get that? They're not worthy of that How'd they get that

First Nobody else thought of it? Who's sleeping on PZZZA? P-E-Z-A P-E-Z-A P-Z-A I want some pizza Yeah, hell yeah Probably

Yeah, dominoes should be dumb job Is it probably around $35? So 31 What year did the Dave reckoning stuff happen? Like 10 years ago? 2018?

18? No. I was older than that. Really? I feel like 2018's too great. I can only go back five years. I would say like 2016.

Let's see. Fuck if I know. Holy shit. Its peak was in 2021 actually. $128 and now it's $34. Oh, it's, I mean, that's... Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Say those numbers one more time? $128. Uh-huh. Was its all-time high? Five years ago. 132. Uh-huh. And now it's $34.

That's bad, dude. Wow. Hey. I know that that's... You got it. That's COVID juice, right? You gotta put a price. It was probably COVID juice.

You gotta put a price on hating black people. What's crazy is that like around 2019 when it was like really low? It was still around $46. Is it really affordable to be racist in this economy? I think not. Nope. I think it inside and don't say it. Jordan,

I can't believe that their high was $100 more than it is now. Yeah, that's crazy. That is crazy. Wow. The 2021, too, yeah. That's all just like people are ordering our pizzas. What's dominoes? Yeah.

What's the owner's stock at? What do you think it is? I bet it's $54. $58. How is it $58? They were worth $130. I guess I just don't think pizzas were... I think that's COVID.

Like, I think their stock went way, way up because people were investing in something because delivery... $100. Tomno's symbol is DPZ. All right, hell yeah. DPs. Their stock is...

Hold on. It took me to Yahoo Finance. Oh, great. That's where I do all my finances. Yeah, I don't know why it isn't just like listed. And then, yep. It's around $400. Oh, hell yeah.

I said 100. Dominoes. Let's go. LFG. I'm not going to look up every stock for every thing. No, that's fine. Their market cap is like different though. So it's like, it's hard to know exactly.

But still, I mean, 130, baby. $130. bucks, you're high, when you're competing with something like Domino's, that's pretty impressive. You're at $32. Fuck, dude. Not even Shaq can help. $400. That's crazy.

Should have invested at Domino. Yeah, no shit. Once they came out of that garlic crust, the garlic paste. I should have. Yeah, like, invested everything I had. It was 14. I was going to say, what were your teenagers? I know. They changed it. I shouldn't have bought the pizzas. I should have

taken that investing. They changed the goddamn game, dude. I could have been eating I'm buying stocks at $400. Fuck crazy. Who do you look like? Epstein? Do I? No, actually, don't.

He wishes. I'm alive. It's the pulse thing. Next one. That's the biggest difference. Can't believe he unalived himself. Dine Brands, owner of Applebee's and I-Hop, have seen stocks surge 66%

over the last six months. So they have appointed former Papa John C.O. Amanda Clark, their board of directors in an effort to crater the company, we assume. If you're on an upswing, why would you attach yourself to anything Papa John's related? Don't you know about

the curse? And doesn't Papa John know the only way to stop it is to give us them $10,000 or put the real actual Papa John in the couch chair? Wouldn't be the first time, probably. Papa John, it's a million to sit in this job. Yeah, yeah. A million? Then Nick can start planning

like he just hit the fucking lottery. like he has before with some other unrelated things. I'm going, I'm going to buy this, I'm going to buy this, I'm going to buy this, and I'm going to buy this, and now I'm getting this. I'm getting this. A million, but also he has to cover the taxes, right, Nick? God damn, right. Yeah. And flight.

And flight. And hotel, bitch. You can just sit in the chair quietly. Yeah, we'll take the million. 0.3 or whatever. So you cover all the taxes, but your ass is shuttling out the next 600. Yep. If you want to get from...

No negotiation. turn the deal down. Louisville to Austin. If you don't agree to pay for the hotel and flight, we'll just not take your $1.3 million. How about that? Popper. Buh. Bitch. Ball's in your court, John.

Can you believe that Dine Brands has gone up 66% in six months? Yeah, and they have to do something about it. And it's Papa John. Yeah. I think they also have like Culvers and a couple other ones, but I don't know how numbers work, but up is good.

It really just goes to show that the stock market makes no sense. It doesn't mean anything is bullshit. They have it. My number go up. I like that. That's what I'm saying. You want to do a last fact? Yeah.

We should probably, or we could do more stock talk. Well, that could be the last fact. If anything is 100% divested. Whoa. Are we rich? Yeah. Yeah, now we are. Can I mature?

Yeah. Am I vested? Are you? Am I vested? Did I vest? Yeah. Am I wearing a vest or not? Hey, I've got, I'll say.

this now, 38 years old and he'll be 39 a year. He's gonna be 40. I am, it's true. I've been talking about that in the Discord all a lot. And I was like, I can't believe it, he looks 50 already. Three gray hairs. I'm up to three. Wow. Three? Nice. I've noticed a couple. Another, another five, ten years.

Yeah, I'll think too. What the fuck are you talking about? I have so many gray hairs. They're not hairs at this point. It's just you're gray. Yeah. You don't count them where you're at. You just like, look, you go, one. They keep going up.

410 gray hairs, guys. It's weird. When they start showing up, they don't go back. So I have to keep dyeing my hair. Yep. That's the secret. That's why he doesn't cut his hair. Because when you cut it...

So I don't die and I don't cut it. I'm going to the landing strip, but you're not going to stop me. Five stars. Uh-huh. The paper is suffering. Watch fact. The Papa John's heart-shaped pizza is back, bitch. Saying I love you is easy with the heart-shaped pizza.

Share it with your loved ones. Or send a Valentine's Day treat to that special someone. More like threat. Don't forget the sides and desserts for the perfect Valentine's Day meal. If someone sends you this, please understand that the Day of Reckoning was really about you and your life. And now it's time for the Pizza Reaper to collect. Know that if you don't break up with that person,

Baba John is going to say the word. It's going to be your fault. Will he say it from the Cuckchair, though? Only one way to find out. No, they're not supposed to talk if they're in the car. That's what I'm saying. Beacon whispered under his breath. Yeah, and he does all day that.

He was trying to remove it from his vocabulary. It's too hard! It's too hard. I was programmed this way. He was working on it. Just struggling, just muttering around his house. He going, oh, it's so hard. His mansion.

Remember the commercials where his son was in the mansion? Then he had like his statues? Yeah. What a freak. Yeah, what a freak. He's nuts. It's funny how it's just like, you'll see doesn't be like, huh,

maybe he's just eccentric. And then all this stuff happens and you go, oh, he was crazy. You look at him and go, this guy seems like a real, not nice person. It's just crazy that he was like overtly racist. And it's like, was that overt? Maybe it wasn't overt on his scale.

Oh, you think he was like, you think he was being covert? Well, I think he needed to rebalance his own scale. I think he would be like maybe he thought he was doing some like dog whistles, but it's like, bro, you just keep saying the word. Yeah. Stop saying the word. Yeah, you know how when you blow your dog whistle? It goes, tweet, tweet, tweet.

You know, your regular dog whistle. Hey, dog. Over here. Yeah. It sounds like a referees whistle, my dog whistle. Yeah, all those dog whistles in the Bojangles, you reviews. Oh, Jesus gross. I'm being vague.

No, you're not. Sir, you're not. I assure you, you're not. It's like a cultural thing, I guess. There's a door. Yeah. It's just a little bit ghetto. Yeah.

That was, I think the hot, I think the loud. The comment that I pinned on our YouTube. video from the Bo Jingles episode is going, I don't know, I thought this episode was funny. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Like, that's fucking. That becoming like the new thing. The inside jokes is pretty funny.

Just the like, the weirdly overt racism, but they don't think they're being racist. Well, they think they're being so subtle. Like, clever about it? But yeah. No, that's how they know they aren't racist. They're like, look, I know this might seem

you leftist might jump the gun. Uh-huh. But I know very clearly what I'm saying. And it's just a cultural thing. Black. And just take my word for it at this value. It's just that. Black, loud, get out.

It's a... Geto. Napy. Yeah, but here's the thing. I'm looking at you, and I like when you do it. Napy-headed hoes. Oh, that, remember that? Of course I remember it.

I don't do sports and I remember that. Crazy. Dude can't be saying that. Crazy. That was the first time I heard about that guy. He was like, wow, this guy sucks. And then it turns out, he said a lot of other horrible... Oh, dude, I'd been hearing about that guy for years because of Stern.

Howard Stern had a huge feud with Don Imus. Wow. They were on the same station. He fucking hated Don Imus. Fucking hated Don Imus. He would make fun of Don Imus and they worked at the same fucking place. I mean, he's also like a guy, he's like, I don't know. Uh-huh.

When it would be like you making fun of somebody else that worked at rooster? Wouldn't that be crazy? That'd be crazy. First time for everything. You both work there? his like big like rectangular hair and then he wore a cowboy hat oh that's right he did don ivis wore a big cowboy hat

and it would just be like he was like the worst he uh he died a couple years ago and everyone was just like remember this guy and that braces thing he said anyway he's dead oh you went back for it because i started eating it is it the cheese one we got the cheese and the pepperoni we did um i don't know that it made much of a difference No, I'm not sure.

Not much to talk about on this. It's a... But I could read about it and see how they sell it. Different thing. Nope. The Papa John's pan pizza brings unique texture and bold flavor at every layer. So this is how they describe it in the press release is bullet pointed things. Why?

Yeah, I don't know. Is anything about this bold? So that's just a line. Yeah. But here it's listed as a word point. You got it. It ended with a colon. So here's the...

Here's what it brings. Colan, bullet point. A fluffy, thick crust with an airy interior. You getting that? Mm-hmm. Okay. Parmesan cheese

and Papa John's special garlic sauce baked directly into the bottom of the pan. I don't really getting the garlic sauce at all. For a golden caramelized finish and crispy, savory crunch. You got that on the bottom? No.

Yeah. Just a little bit of a crunch. It's yellow. I feel like the bottom is yellow. There's no garlic sauce. It's so oily. a decadent six cheese blend Decadent, fuck you

You can't use that word It's made with real cheese This is for a king, the decadence Made with real cheese For mozzarella, provolone Fontina Asiago Parmesan and Romano Ray Romano

Yep And then Oh Wheeh Ice Age I'm the Wooloo mammoth I like that I get it

And it's also built to hold up to seven edge to edge toppings. It's structurally engineered. Is it forklift certified? Also that. So the pepperoni one was weird because the pepperoni's were baked under the cheese. Well, that's how they can, you know,

they skirt those OSHA laws and now you can put more stuff on top. Yeah. Okay. And it keeps going and says a final dusting of Italian seasoning for a flavor packed finish. You got that dust? Final dusting sounds like the day of reckoning. It was good to say.

It was good to say. I'm not sure about that. I think that was draft one. Yeah, are you ready for a final, the final dusting is coming. I've eaten 40 pan pizzas 30 days.

Don't dust me, bro. You're about to get fucking dusted. And last but not least, no artificial colors or flavors. It's done? That's just what it looks like. Yeah.

That's, that's just what it looks like. I wish there was. Yeah. Right? You get added a couple. Yeah. And the press material reads,

Quote, after nearly a decade, we've reimagined Pan Pizza to bring it back onto our menu. But this isn't the pan pizza that they had previous. Yeah, because they've reimagined it. Exactly. Said Jenna Bromberg, Chief Marketing Officer of Papa Johns, consumer expectations for flavor and value are higher than ever, and we're struggling.

And the Pan Pizza category is crowded, which is why we took a deliberate... Even Crowder? Yeah. Uh-huh. Do you think he's down with Popper? Papa John? Prove me wrong.

Which is why we took a deliberate consumer-led approach to developing the perfect recipe and focused on getting every detail right. Pan pizza is nostalgic, indulgent, and so beloved. And we saw the chance to elevate a pan-style pizza in a way that feels distinctly Papa John's. I feel like after reading that, I need to say. What are you saying? They failed in every conceivable way. To meet anything that they laid out in that criteria.

Exactly. It didn't seem deliberate at all. It seemed hazard and, uh, honestly, I'm lucky that the dough made it into the pain. I've seen Papa John be deliberate. Yeah. And this ain't it. Okay. When he's serious, he lets you know.

Doesn't mince words. Why not just change the name? Why not just change the fucking name? No one is going like. Hey, Papa John is the brand I trust. They should have changed it to chakaronies. Dude, I don't trust police. Don't trust Papa John.

That's what I'm saying. They're on the same side. No, on the same side! Look at the stock, you can change the name. I can't believe what Michael said. Don't trust the police. We used to be brothers. We used to be brothers.

I used to watch raids group while I was committing hate crimes. And now I feel like I don't even know you anymore. Now what am I supposed to listen to while I do hate crimes? Now what? Just the old ones? Joe Roggan. Yeah, pretty much. This is a pan pizza.

That's... No way. That is what they're doing here. And they're like losing at every step. And I don't know how pan pizza is going to turn it around. It's true. Especially, again, not to get into the review section too early. Especially this pan pizza.

This is what you thought was going to get it done? This is what you thought was going to get people to flock back? I say it in the ride along that it's a strange in between. And that is really how it felt eating it. It was strange. Strange-ass pizza. It was. And Papa John's is just kind of a place without an identity at this point.

No, my Papa. Because it used to be, it used to be the garlic dipping sauce. I saw Uncle John. It used to be the garlic dipping sauce and the pepper that you got with it. Right. They still have that. Right. But now you have to eat the pizza and it sucks.

Yeah. And it's expensive. How much was this? We got a 10-piece wing, two medium pizzas. Then those wings looked suspect. It's 40 bucks. That's kind of a lot. Two pizzas and wings, 40 bucks?

That's not great. Two mediums. It's not great. Woof. You used to be able to get three for $15. Yep. Mediums is small. There is no small.

Mediums is small. Like even for Domino's, mediums is small. But even dollars, you get two mediums for $6.99 each. Exactly. These were, Hey, you feel about that. Oh, yeah.

Hell yeah. Joe Biden's ex-husband charged with murder and his wife's killing. Yeah, I saw that, but they were like married in like the 70s. Oh, is that right? So it like took him forever to snap. Yeah, I'm just saying. Still forever to finally get the guts. That's crazy.

Like the first lady's ex-husband murdered his. My first thought was like, it's a good thing she's with Joe. He can't even lift a gun, I bet. Oh, he can't lift if anything. Hey, lay down. Hang on. I'm gonna get you. All right, hang on.

Corn pop your toast. Yeah, but then you drink it like Trump, though. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of... What is up with that? What is up with that? Come on, dude. That has nothing to do with politics.

Yep. How are you going to drink a drink like this? Also, crazy shit in the Oval Office that had to... Literally. Everyone is awesome. Literally. That's like George Bush throwing up on the Japanese prime minister.

That's just news. I don't know what it's to tell you. But we have our review of Papa Johns. Everybody choked out on the pretzel. Yeah, hell yeah. That was the other one. That was crazy. Oh, that was the other George Bush.

That was the other George Bush. They just kept doing stuff. That was Baby Bush. Yeah, Baby Bush almost choked out of pretzel. Which is actually watching like football or something. We can go tonight. That's actually one of the dancers. Oh.

Baby Bush. It says $10 dances. They made me pay $20. Why are you charging $20? Baby Bush and dub you. Oh, hell yeah. Texas theme. baby. We have our review of Papa John's we need here from here

this segment we call Shane see what he's doing. You review! See where he's allowed to go. It looks like this far. There's only three. The last one just has like a weird break in line. Don't worry about it. Is it weird because you fucked it up? The first one. The first one is long. We don't ignore. We don't know why. The first one is long. Okay. I'll do the long one. Okay. So I can get it over it. All right, you did the long one.

A lot of shouting too. Yes. Here we go. I may I may miscalculated. No, you got it. This is from Adrian. It says this is the worst. First, Papa John's in Flugerville. You order one pizza, but they give you another. Oh, that's good. You order extra peppercini's for one dollar,

yeah, peppercini's for one dollar and receive half of one because someone clearly took a bite off of it. Why don't you secure the boxes if they're being delivered by a third party? Like DoorDash. Come on, here we go. You got it, you got it. Use tape if you have to. Uh-huh.

I called the restaurant and had to hold for about 10 minns before I got a real person. The person I got was rude as I'll get it. What? New phrase I'm trying. When in Rome, build it in a day. She kept cutting me off. And when I attempted to say something after a break in the conversation, she then says in a very rude way, can I finish what I'm saying? When she cut me off earlier, just rude.

Okay. I told them that the pepper was half eaten and she proceeded to swear up and down that she put stickers on the box. She then claimed that the DoorDash person must have taken the stickers off the box and compromised the food. I went back to look at the box

and did not see any remnants of a sticker whatsoever. I communicated this to her and she says she doesn't know how the DoorDash person took the sticker off. SMDH. I'm done. Don't order from this place. your food will be compromised, or you'll receive the wrong order indeed. P.S. Corporate says you're supposed to get two peppers for $1 that you pay.

Just checking with the corporate? Oh, my goodness. My food is compromised. It's been compromised. It's compromised. It's compromised. Don't eat that food. It's bites out of my peppers.

Compromise. One star reviews for a restaurant for something DoorDash got wrong is like top of my list for favorite things. It has the same energy. fucking compromised. Have you, twid? I've heard there are remnants of stickers here, thoughts?

No remnants. No remnants. No remnants whatsoever. I'm looking right at it. I'm looking right at it. You've got to believe me. I've got my fucking black light. Also,

there's no sticker remnants here. Also, nobody took a bite of the pepper and then left it there. No one took a bite of the pepper. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. Hey, someone's going to do that a little bit. Yo.

It's, yeah. Just take the pepper. Nobody. Right. Right, nobody's biting your pepper and putting it back, you whack job. Come on, Adrian. And no one's biting the pepper. Corporate says you get two.

I called corporate. They said two unbitten peppers. Having a DoorDash problem and leaving the review for the restaurant reminds me of people searching for Yelp in the app store. Oh! And leaving reviews for restaurants as a review for the app. Yeah. Whatever.

They'll pass it along. Yeah. Who cares? They'll let the Domino. They'll let Domino. They'll let Domino's in Des Moines, Iowa, know that I'm not happy. It's fine.

Des Moines knows. That really must affect Yelps' like App Store. Right. A lot of one stars. Yeah, a lot of one stars. Let's see if they got any of those. Let's see if we can cook one.

It's fucking crazy. I am just floored when people are like, yeah, I went through a third party delivery service. I better call the food place. to let them know I'm mad. They got a 4.5 rating. Hey, you get my pepper? Only half.

Only half, I put it back. You bite my pepper? Yeah, I only put it half back. I'm supposed to get two. No, let me, me, me, me, me, me, me, I'm supposed to get two. Unbitten peppers. I got rid of all the sticker remnants.

You'll never know. You never put a sticker. There's no remnants. There's no remnants. And, and you know what the worst part is? The delivery guy? He was black. Oh.

Oh, what's up, Jordan? What do you got? What are you got? Canister with Jordan? One star? This is on the... Jordan Happy Feed Spears over here. This is on the app store.

Rude! Took my car there as it died. It had 25,000 miles on it. Had it towed to the dealership? Well, it's been almost a week, and my car part has not come in. And the lady named Cammy is in the service department

was rude. Every time I talked to her. I went there in person quite aggravated that my car was not fixed. Camie didn't. not care. Never apologized for anything.

Talked condescending to me and told me not to get an attitude. Customer service that this place is not existing. At Yelp? Craziest part about this, five stars. What? Uh-huh. Cammy, Kimmy, Kimmy, Camillian. I'm Jordan.

Also. Come and go. That's from September. I don't know where they took it. They never named it. They went to Yelp. They just said, took my car to your. You ever get into accident, he pulled over, you go,

Yelp, Yelp! Yelp! Yel! Yel! Yel! Yel! Dude, there's so many. There's so many. We just ate here for a birthday lunch with our family. The location is perfect. I had an amazing experience with my dentist today. She went above and beyond and did care of my teeth.

Okay, okay. We need to do a video where we're reading Yelp reviews and strip clubs. Yeah. And then we go to the strip clubs and then we go to Yelp. And we go to Yelp. We go to Yelp and see how it fairs. All right, I'll do the next two. Okay.

Thank you. I'm done. Yeah, you're done. Rest up. Okay, I think you're going to like these. Tyler M says, my food was up. Nice.

They didn't want to give it to me. They got mad when I went behind the counter and found my food. The lady took the food I paid for and canceled my order. There were 10 other people in the lobby whose food was done. They just kept telling everyone their order wasn't done. LMFAO. Pamp bum bum, bum, bam bam bam bam. I'm Texiana, no way.

I'm in Papa John. B. They got mad when I went behind the counter and get the food. When I was putting this together, I couldn't believe it. I can't believe we got another one. We got another guy. Every time somebody goes behind the counter to fast food place, it is Oh, at least Gracie just reaches

across. Right. The other What was the other one where it's like they got Oh, the phone charger? Yeah, yeah, remember they wanted to go behind. They just wanted to charge their phones. Give me! Just looking for it outlay! Give me! Give me! Jesus, age, guys. What? My food's ready. like holding it.

Really big fan of went behind the food right, went behind the counter get his food late they took the food that I paid for

canceled the order there were 10 other people in the lobby whose food was done they just kept telling everyone their order wasn't done I don't believe him we're keeping all the food

for ourselves there were two other guys in there they were DoorDash guys and they were just waiting there were 10 people yeah and they were holding

to resched my haircuts four times they were holding holding the food hostage like Savannah Guthrie's mother. That's right. Well, hold on. We don't know for sure yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I think we know. At the time of this recording, do we not know? Not 100% of her. Well, they just keep saying there are signs that she didn't leave of her own, like, well, they said they got ransom notes. Oh, shit, really?

Yeah, TMZ and some other thing got ransom notes. TMZ probably made them. It was TMZ in some other place. The other place was like, we're not airing this. We're calling the authorities. TeamG is like, Matt! TeamZ is like, check this out.

Also, we got all of her medical records. That's got crazy. Yeah. Right. All right. She got a hysterectomy. Last review. Don't be kidnapping old people.

That ain't right. Especially hers. Her old people. All right. Last one from L.B. Uh-huh. I ordered their heart-shaped special today. Uh-oh.

Unfortunately, it was horrible. I'm attaching pictures. It took an hour to get here and was cold and not cut. Papa Johns dropped the ball. This one totally. I'm eight months pregnant. and very disappointed in my Valentine's Eve meal. Brownie looks burnt too.

I've ordered at least five times before, and it has been very inconsistent. Warm to cold pizza, delivery times vary. The only reason I begin to order from them is there's no Fiville. Dominoes any longer, and Papa Murphy's doesn't deliver and being pregnant with an almost year old,

I need a good reasonably price pizza delivery spot. So disappointing. Let's see those pictures. Here's the burnt crust. I wish ours look like that, to be honest. What kind of shape is that? Is that half the heart? Is she just like, oh, yeah, okay.

That doesn't look burnt at all. No. And also, this is the best looking heart pizza I've ever seen from there. And that's to say, it doesn't look good. No, no. But it doesn't look good for Papa John. It doesn't look burnt at all. Also, also, she's right.

It's not cut. Do they, do they not? Well, they should cut it. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if they, I don't know if that's practice or not. Yeah, they should. I think they looked at it and was like, I don't know how to do this. Slice my heart in two pieces.

Yeah. This is my last resort. Hey, Papa John. Hell yeah. That was pretty good. Valentine's. Yeah, that's right. Dude, I wouldn't be, hey, hey, hey, I wouldn't be upset with just Papa John.

Okay. Right. You got other people to blame here. It was supposed to be a magical evening. of a heart-shaped pizza. From Papa John. For Valentine's Day Eve. That's not burnt at all.

No. It wasn't burnt. It looked fine. There's Papa John. At least they're like, there's no domino's option. At least they knew that much. I know, they have good taste. They're just like, I'm just desperate. I'm settling for Papa John's. It's the only reason you should ever.

Well, okay, see, now that kind of ruins are settling already. Yeah, exactly. There's no dominoes I had to. Anyway, 40 times this month. Yeah. That's how I ate my 40 pizzas at 30 days. Starting to think it might be them. There's something wrong with that place.

I need a good reasonably priced pizza delivery spot. Also, Papa Murphy's doesn't deliver. Also, Papa Murphy's is not... Papa Murphy's is a pizza that you have to take home and cook. Oh, okay. I was gonna, I assume Nick knew. So why would they deliver it anyway? They deliver an uncooked pizza?

No, I know they don't, but even if they did, they would deliver an uncooked pizza? Crazy, right? Right? Yeah. I've had Papa Murphy's one time in my life. And it was so good. You were like, I didn't ever happen to get? Did you go to Buckees? You go Gaddies? See, Cs? Ah. I got Papa Murphy's one time when I was a kid. They opened one in my hometown.

Where was a kid? Was it 50 years ago? Okay, okay. We took it home and it was just my dad going, I don't understand why we did this. What's the appeal of this? Yeah, and he's like, we have to cook it? Yeah. Like, yeah, he's like, why? We could have ordered from a pizza place.

Right. And then they cook it. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah. Huh. Well, yeah. Huh. Same price.

It is the same price. Yeah. Wow. And then you cook it, you eat it and go. I assume it tastes better? No. So good. It was like.

So good. The whole time you're eating it, you just go, did you say hashtag yum? Hashtag yum. And then your dad was like, what are you talking about? What the fuck is hashtag? It's like, 1995. What are you saying? I knew I didn't like you.

It's called the pound key. Yeah. How do you know that, dad? And then we get to fight. Time fight. Yeah, well, those are your reviews of Papa John. Kyle stepped in, though. But we have, oh, that, do you know,

Carl broke it up. But we have our reviews of Papa John's pans pizza. We had to explain. He walked in and went, Ola. Yeah. They're like, this, I get with this guy, Cyan.

That hung out with Ray the other day. Not Big Ray. Smaller. Right. Yeah, Brown Rand. Ray. I explained him, I have a brother named Kyle and he couldn't believe it and then showed him a picture

and he just went, what? He looks like me. I was gonna say, he looks like Bra's brother. He was very confused. He was very confused. We're all confused. What the fuck? Don't worry. But those are your reviews of Papa John's.

Didn't show him a picture of your mom. Yeah, we have our review of Papa John's pan pizza. Jordan, what do you think of Papa John's effort and turn it all around? $100.00.000. Here we go. The stock price.

I took a dollar. deliberate consumer-led approach to develop with a perfect recipe. Yeah. I was on getting every detail right. Do you agree with these? Are these facts? Yeah, no, they failed in every regard.

What? Every detail was wrong, in fact. Wow. How did it taste? No. It didn't taste like anything. Do you feel any more or less hateful after eating it? I feel more hateful towards Papa John's.

I thought what they're going to. I don't know if that's what they wanted. Yeah. So, yeah, it was like very heavily sauced first and foremost. I feel like... I ate the pizza and I just... I really want to sign up for rice.

$50,000? $50,000 immediately right now. No street's attached? Yeah, yeah. I just sign right here. Don't worry about it. Don't read the fine print. Yeah, yeah.

They can read? Hey, no. The, uh... Hey, how greasy was it? They're heroes. Super greasy and super undercooked. They're talking about the crispy. Bottom and shit, soft as pizza.

Jordan was holding the pizza going, I think they glued the back part on. When I got to the cross, I was out of the room, I heard glue talk. The only crispy part is the little like ring that the pan, like fries. Right. On the edge.

Uh-huh, where it touched. And it just came off in like a piece. Like it was glued on. Yeah, for your convenience. Yeah. Right. It's for your pleasure. This is just what you wanted, right?

Just this part. Do you get that done? And then you also, the, the striver will ask, your girlfriend if you want a hand job. That's the package deal. That's right. That's the real heart shape. As long as she asks her first. Right. It's a heart shape pizza and then they cut a hole out of the middle.

No. It's pretty good. You got to watch a video for that one. Ain't like the ultimate enabler. Ain't no one going to the strip club is getting this. Just so you know. Just so you know. We got pepperoni. We also got cheese. I feel the emmy.

Yeah, it was good. I'm gonna break Miami. Don't break the... I'm not gonna break shit. Jesus Christ. I thought the chairs didn't come down on it. The... No.

He's fine. I would never do that. To Nick. Did they taste any different? No, not really. I didn't even taste the pepperoni. No. Again, it was just like...

It was just like flavorless... No cuparone. Textureless mush. Because there was no bake on the bread. Jordan... Just give you all like, no flavor. No flavor. No flavor.

No flavor. Just mush. And it was also like coming apart, like the cheese would slide off. Yeah, big time. And like, here's your ED though. I got EF now. Yeah. Help!

Help! This might be, I mean, I don't remember all the other Papa John stuff we ate, but like this is like a horrible entry. Oh, what do you mean? It's got to be better than the last one. You think it's, do you think it's worse than the cheddar? I do. Whatever. I don't remember that, but I think this was worse.

Oh, man. All right. Let's hear it. 21% Wow This pizza sucked It was not It really was like not very good

Michael what do you think I mean he's not wrong anything he says 20's crazy Uh huh it was still pizza uh huh It wasn't no it made me mad pizza hot stuff Yeah it wasn't good pizza but it was their day of reckoning It's a piece of shit But I was definitely better than the last thing in my opinion

I get a 47 47 I'm that 10 with a 20 that's it must be crazy Hey 34 It got lower. Which keeps it below that. 34 is, I think, a little low for what we ate, but also probably pretty close. I think it was almost, I think it almost broke 50. Yeah, it's, it didn't.

Pizza shouldn't be that. Jordan, it wasn't even a, oh, dude, it's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. It's funny is that the monkey blocked it. I saw the splash. Yeah, that was the best part. I saw the splash.

I thought the monkey thing fell back. Yeah. I saw the splash and I knew it happened. happened before I even put it together. That's very cool. Congratulations. Well, 34 is what it was. And on an auspicious episode.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a... Do not probably get... Just don't go to Papa Johns, I think. Probably don't go to Papa Johns. The wings that we got? Oh, yeah.

Dude. You opened those? One of them was stuck. One of them was stuck to the lid and I was like, I'm not even going to look at that. They were chicken nuggets just like, like, whacked. squirted with sauce. It was whack.

Wack is the perfect word for it. They were whack as fun. Papa Johns is whack as fun. Like they were big and thick and strange. Don't get the wing. Don't get Papa John. Just go to Domino's. Or a real pizza place. Absolutely. Domino's, I got Shabuzi now. Oh, so you think about that. He's saying

Dom. Mm, my nose. Thanks, man. That's what he's doing. Well, hey, you can go to 100% eat. Store or grab one of these hoodies. Boom. Hang on. You can also go to streamway.com slash 100-percent-e We got new merch in the works too. Dude, this is hot off the press.

This is rolling ravioli is a physics-based rage game where you are a can of ravioli adventuring through the world. Oh, cool. Finally. Check that out. I can play egg and ravioli. We have some new stuff coming,

probably a beanie, a new shirt. Oh, you're just going to let them have. Let them have it. Let them have. We want be. We are working on the monkey magic eight ball, hopefully. Fingers crossed.

That'll be a longer term thing. That is going to be way down the road. Yeah, and it's gonna cost $500. Something like that. Just so you know, it's gonna be expensive as fuck. But this thing is crazy. We're trying to break Nick's curse. This thing is crazy.

Like if someone can make this, it's gotta cost a fortune. It's so weird and not. That's why I was worried about the direction we were going or it's like, this could end up being more expensive. Hey, man, it is what it is. We're making sure. It is what it is. If the eaters want it, we're gonna tell you how much it costs. So let us know.

If it comes out and it's $200, don't sit there. I can't believe they're ripping it. That means it costs $198 to me. You know what I mean? Like, bitch is going to cost what's going to cost. You want the magic monkey eight ball. You just got to pay up. Hey, there's some whales out there.

We know. You got to patreon.com slash 100% eat to join up now. Watch the Michael Jordan podcast in every previous episode of the Michael Jordan podcast. We filmed that already. Uh-huh. And there's some really good ones. You can check out the range quit episode. I have the confession.

I was drinking. No. I drank a little bit. What? I was sauced. No. I couldn't tell. Huh.

And then I made you a sandwich. You did. Were you still drunk then? For sure. Oh. Yep. I couldn't tell. Well, you can follow us at 100% eat on Twitter, Instagram, and Blue Sky.

And if you want to send some of the PO Box for 100% treat, PO Box 14, 324, Austin, Texas, 78711. P.O.4.3241, Austin, Texas, 8,771. The eaters are starting to have what Michael calls. Thoughts? Eatups. Oh, yeah. What's that? What do you mean? Yeah.

So one of our compliments crackles, I think, and the Discord is on a cruise and it stopped in Hawaii. And they met up with Brett. No way! Oh, that's so cool. They had a teacher.

Right. Skeptical. But it was cool to see like their photos of them hanging out and stuff and Brett got a Maui Gold pineapple. Oh, that's so cool. For our Patreon

Shadow Shine. Oh, that's awesome. And there's some talk about more E-ups. I was like, whoa, they're meeting up, that's so cool. And then Michael came was like, they should be called E-Dubs. Fucking genius. Yeah, and Jordan immediately was like, this is excellent. Yes, and you announced it. You're like, I hereby announce. This is what they're called. Any future meetups will be called E-ups.

Henceforth. And then you were like, because Shadow Shine's like, I'm going off the grid again. I'll see you in a week. And you were like, they're going to freak out about this in a week. Yep. And they were like, I still have one bar. I'm freaking out right now. It was really funny. And I don't know if you saw this. The Discord's awesome. Spencer Bilk was saying, hey, I'm thinking about going on a trip to Hawaii.

Should I, should we meet up? Oh, wow. And I was like, don't call it a meetup. Don't call it a meetup. And fuck your trip to Hawaii. You pay to sit in the cuck chair. Yeah. Just think about that.

How about a trip for that instead? That's worth the vacation. That's worth paying us. You're going to spend that much money anyway on a trip. You might as well get a free flight. You'll sit there and a nice chair. suck on your bilk while the episodes going, just slurping and smacking. The bill, it's B-Y-O-B though.

You gotta bring your own bill. You gotta bring your milk, sorry. It's right there. It's right there. Spencer, you can have this bilk. That $10,000 cashier's check. Come on down. Do those cubes expire? It's probably like 10 years. They do expire. It's probably gross. Bro, I just went through like my medicine cabinet.

Yeah. Looking for anything to help me. Everything was. Of course. There's like one thing of Musinex that was like, you don't have kids and you don't have to go to an office. You don't see. You're good. You're not around anything that gets you sick. Why isn't this NyQuil working?

Oh, it expired in June. Yeah. I was around a bunch of dumb shit wrestlers that were just like, right before the snowstorm, I think we'll go to 8GB tonight and get all my groceries. Just like, hey, man, you're fucked with all the other geniuses. Exactly. Yep. March of this year? Yeah, I don't believe it.

Right. They got to put something on there. Spencer, you got till March. Time's dicking, bitch. Ryan is dickin. Take us out. Um, oh. Rate, subscribe, tell a friend about the show where you eat food and rate the food.

That's what it says. Thank you everybody. Goodbye. Hurry. Try to get it in the cup again. Try to get it- Let's go to the water bottle. The water bottle. The water bottle.

The water bottle. You got it. You got it.