100% Eat - Food Court %% Impromptu Launch Day Edition

Episode Date: May 18, 2024

Our Heroes launched their Patreon with their new exclusive Discord. Emboldened by the news, Michael, Jordan, and Eric jump in the deep end and let these early bugs lay themselves at the mercy of the Food Court. Would you eat The Slop? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey, transforming into Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, nearest green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at TNVacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Hey everyone, it is your honorable Judge Jordan here with a surprise bonus episode this week that we're putting out for everyone. This is a special edition food court

recorded on the fly with our new patrons on our 100% eat discord this was all very impromptu But it was great to bring people on and get to talk to them About their food crimes and judge them in front of an audience And we think it's a pretty fun format that we're probably gonna experiment with more So we wanted to give everyone a taste and if you want to be part of the fun in the future So we wanted to give everyone a taste. And if you want to be part of the fun in the future, subscribe to our Patreon at any tier and you'll get access to our Discord server

and you'll get a priority submission form for the food court. Just go to patreon.com slash 100% eat or 100% eat.com. But this was a lot of fun. It was very impromptu. Michael was actually on location at a wedding He was on his phone. So that's why he sounds a little funky first

He was outside and then he was in a bathroom, but this was too fun not to put out So here it is for everyone special food court edition Guys, we're doing an impromptu food court right now for our new patreon subscribers we're on the discord and we are grabbing people so that way they can let us know their food crimes. We're physically grabbing you off the streets. We're grabbing you off the streets. Yeah absolutely and we're being mean to you. Okay let me see who else we can grab here that

feels like a real freak. Dude, this is so much more entertaining than the hour and 15 minutes of speeches I heard last night. That's not an evaluation is one hour and 15 minutes. One hour and 15 minutes. Oh my god, really? That's is that I mean, that's crazy. Okay. This is, let me see.

I'm looking for a good draw here for people in the chat, in our audience, that we feel like we can pull in. We got people that are saying cookie, they dip cookies in water when milk isn't available. I don't like that, but that's not I don't know. Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, we got one here. Let's invite them in. Let's invite invite you to speak. Where are you? That speak message. How do I invite these fucking freaks to speak? Come

here. Well, it's hard when they're there we go on letters. Yeah, no, I changed that. I fixed it. Don't worry. And we did nobody saw the jump. Okay. To go, you are throwing yourself at the mercy of this court. Go ahead and explain what you do. I so I buy Ritz bits, and then I I'll unscrew them all and I'll slowly scoop off You know you twist it off like an Oreo Yeah, you unscrew it like Do you need a do you need a screwdriver for that? No, just hands elbow grease

Then I just take them up and I just kind of get all the filling and put them in a big one And I need it that way Pretty simple. That's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. It's a real Nick move I think I totally agree. I mean you're making your own you're making your own double triple quadruple stuff What you're saying Oreo does that? Are you doing it? So you get the little bag right the little yeah? Little snack size are you doing that for all of them? No, I usually do for like maybe two okay, okay, that's I'm okay with this. Yeah pretty fair. Yeah, I know

No crimes detected on my crime radar. It'd be more work than I would put into it But now let me ask you to eat the extra crackers afterwards, or they're just discarded. Yeah, or those nice those two It's so wrong here at all. Yes, right, but what's the percent eat ways what you're describing? Which is exactly what we're talking about, but what's the point? It tastes good, and I want a little more of it with the crackers and sometimes it just wants Are these the cheese ones? Yeah It tastes good and I want a little more of it with the crackers. And sometimes I just want to be by themselves. Are these the cheese ones? Yeah. That cheese is like there's it's totally not real and definitely not good for you. It's probably more synthetic than anything.

But boy, does it like boy, does it like hit something in your brain that makes you. You know what? I'm just I'm pulling off the top my head. This isn't in reference to anything at all, but I feel like that cheese is more real and better than cheese at Arby's. You might be right. There's again, not in reference to anything or anything that will come up, because why would it?

Right, of course. I would rather eat that cheese. Okay, definitely no crimes committed. Somebody just said something in the chat that we need to address. Okay. I think we should bring them on. So we're just going to say the ruling right now, Tuco, you've committed no crimes. You're free and absolved.

Congratulations. One of the first times like, yeah, I mean, really a, this never happens. So congratulations. I wouldn't even say no crime. I'd even say like, pretty normal. Pretty, pretty above board. Yep. Well, they should do this if they want to. Yep. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Go try to go's recipe of

peeling, unscrewing, ritz, crash. Really set us off on a good. Yeah, that first there's a good foot forward. Yep. Thank you to go See ya. All right, Jordan, which one you just pull them in. Yep. Yep. All right. Hello got All right, hi, so my wife was sitting here thinking man, I don't have anything that's a food crime They always say that they always do they always do they don't look inward only outward So she will she loves KitKats, but she peels them layer by layer

to eat them What do you wait wait, I'm sorry hang on what does that mean? What do you so? You can separate the layers of the wafer into little thin wafers and eat them. So is she doing this by hand or like how do you get through the layer of chocolate coating? So is she biting through the chocolate to get to a layer and then ripping it apart with her teeth? She's shaking her head, yes. Okay. What?

She's just here if she can defend herself, I guess. Yeah, defend yourself. Get on here so we can hammer you. So yeah, no, I eat the chocolate around the outside first with just my teeth and then I'll eat the layers because it makes the KitKat last longer. Wait. So you're teething it like a beaver, is that what you're saying?

Well, you're eating it like corn on the cob. Well, not even a cob. You're just biting. This isn't a bite. This is a scrape. You're raking the chocolate off, is what you're saying. It's a Kit Zen garden. So, okay, wait, does she bite? So she bites gingerly to cut through the chocolate. So there's only wafer cookie left. Around the outside edges, yeah.

Not like the top and bottom, but like- Right, that would be insane. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that would be crazy. Yeah, that would be nuts, of course. So, and then, but then you start, you're saying peeling it, are you peeling it with your fingers,

like it's layered cookie? No, because then it just breaks and it's too hard. I just sort of also use my teeth. So she gnaws off the layers, I'm sorry. I guess peeling is the wrong. Okay. But I eat the layers individually. This seems very strange.

This seems like something I want to try because I need to know if I'm capable of doing it. It is... It's a mystery. I've never'm capable of doing it. It is. It's a mystery. I've never been able to do it. It seems like it takes such a fine touch. Yeah. Do you find that like over years of doing this, you've really perfected the technique? Yeah, probably.

I've practiced since I was a kid. So. Awesome. Zerpified in the chat says this is a rodent behavior. Very much. Oh, okay. Very, very, very much. Sure.

I get it. I get it. I'm not a rodent. A fucking SpongeBob GIF is what I was picturing. So you're saying that you do it because it makes it last longer Yeah Vacation as a kid, okay, but you're doing it as an adult another adult. Have you tried just buying more?

Maybe you buy two KitKats Also also get the Get the Walmart ones like what is the great value? Yes, those ones are those ones are way better. Really good. Those are really good. Yeah. Try peeling those ones. This is crazy. You're doing beaver behavior on Kit Kat, so it lasts longer.

So what do we say the ruling is here? We'll start with Jordan. What do you think? I can only rule on like is it unhinged or not? Like, uh-huh, you know, you're gonna you're we all know you're gonna keep doing it Yes. Yeah, yeah, it's not gonna stop so I mean I I don't think you really have a logical or rational defense um, so you're not immune to hammerings at whenever anybody hears about this.

Right. So so that's my ruling. You are vulnerable to hammerings, but I cannot make you stop doing it. In fact, I would almost encourage you to keep doing it because it's quite insane. And I think more people should like be exposed to this because I think it's very interesting. Yeah, it's also you're not you're not changing like the chemical makeup with the KitKat,

right? Right, right, right. You're not like and then add butter to it like people like to do, you know, or then I stick it in a well for a day and let it get soggy. That's what some people like to do. You just eating them in a very strange way. I agree with that. I'm agreeing with Jordan.

Go for it and you know what? I mean, and it sounds like you have at this point. You know, just lean into it. As long as you're not going, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is normal. This makes more sense. If you're not doing that, I think it's, you know,, no, no. This is normal. This makes more sense. Why are you not doing that? I think it's, you know, you just accept it.

Here's what I'll say. Someone in my Twitch chat, Pokey Batman, just said she's making it 200% eat. I think that's, it's still 100% eat. Yeah, I don't think that's a thing. No, but I think the goal, like the child thinking of this is I'm going to get the more than the maximum amount that I can possibly get out of a KitKat.

It's like you're eating two different things. Yeah, it's 100% eat, but it's like also 100% longer. Yeah, yes. You're doubling. Yeah, you're doubling your eat longer. Yeah, yes. You're doubling. Yeah. You're doubling your eat time. Yeah. Man, that's crazy.

Well, the ruling is- Somebody in our chats to 200% eat is buying more KitKats. Yeah. Correct. Correct. This is- That was my recommendation. I think the ruling is it's fine,

and we're gonna allow it, but also you are susceptible to hammerings. Yeah. So congratulations. That's a great one. That's a great. Thank you for sharing. Yeah. And thank you for joining the Patreon. We'll we'll talk with you again soon. Maybe if you were. Okay, let's see we could do a couple more. I don't want to keep Michael for too too long This okay, let's get let's get this. Yeah, what about me? Yeah, I got nothing going on sure yeah Yeah, I agree dude. I'm gonna get stung by a bee these bees out here. Oh, no. Okay. What's up? Okay, guys we have Brad in here Brad. You know it's a mercy of the core the cool one Yeah, this is Brad the cool one the guy named Brad and I decided to assert dominance as early as possible.

I appreciate it. Brad's the cool one. Go ahead, you're at the mercy of the court. Okay, so tomorrow is Mother's Day and I would really love to tell my mom how much her food taste sucks. Growing up, she once dropped that she used to make peanut butter and mayo sandwiches

Jesus Christ But in the last year, you know you get bored with just having peanut butter sandwiches I made one with peanut butter and sharp cheddar cheese. He tried jelly thought I was absolutely insane Which one of us is more of a freak. So you're saying what you're proposing is that one of you is worse because one is peanut butter and cheese and the other one is peanut butter and mayo? I can tell you, hers is peanut butter and mayo, mine's peanut butter and mayo. That's 100% correct. It is, but I don't think the cheese, I think these are symptoms of the same problem which is like...

Yes, I agree with you Jordan I don't know the fact you've acquired Yeah, I think you're trying to convince yourself that no I'm different I'm different you guys are the same person Yes, that is that's what I was gonna get at. I think that you're You know hang on you've presented this as if, isn't my mother insane? I eat peanut butter and cheese. Look, we're not- Well, no, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

His defense was actually, he said his mother is insane. His argument was, it's crazy that she thinks that's insane. He's questioning his, he's questioning his motives after peanut butter and mayo. Right. Like who is she to talk? That's the correct. Who is she to talk in my opinion is what's being presented. And in that case, you're a thousand percent correct.

Look in the mirror, mom. But also I don't want you to think that you're so high above yourself because Exactly! Just asking here, you seem like a sensible man. You like to eat the finer things in life. You know, you're not always just having the fast food. You want to have real food, right? Yes, please.

You want a whole food and you go shopping around and you see that little basket with the nubs of new cheeses you haven't tried and you want to grab a whole bunch of them. Oh, here's some, here's one that would pair great with a nice wine. Here's one that would be great with this fig jam. Here's one that's supposed to have nutty note. So nuts and cheese when there's already cheeses that are supposed to have a nutty note to them. Is it really that weird? You were so close to like just saying saying things that I agree with and here's what I've seen the cheese he's talking about this one's great with peanut butter what do all foods the other day I was I didn't belong there right right right right yeah yeah there

aren't any that go well with mayo. I'm very glad that at least Michael is really on my side there, that my mom- Dude, imagine mayo and cheddar. No, well, the thing that gets me- Brad the nutty one. Yeah, he's no longer the cool one. He's the nutty one. So the thing about the peanut butter and cheese,

I have had peanut butter and cheese before and it's fine, but it's not something I go, dude, I gotta go back to that. The thing that I don't get about the whole situation is I don't understand what the mayonnaise is adding to the peanut butter sandwich. What is that? What is it doing?

I mean, I guess when you live in a house with five kids you do stupid shit I went a little off the rails, but like Come on. Oh Well also in my defense well none of you will get it. I did grow up in the Midwest. So yeah, I mean, that's where a lot of food crimes like this tend to occur. Like we get it. Not in an abominable amount of cream cheese in a casserole dish or something. I mean, yeah, totally understand. It's the 1950s, like jello mold with fucking savory foods in it like yeah, yeah Just stop putting mayo in

Anything the supply chain from from mayo stop it from getting into the Midwest Yeah, I think mayo should just be bought out by big tuna and leave it there. That's where it stays. It's over there now. Okay, so what's- subway does that and they suck. What's the official ruling here?

Well, I guess the crux of it being, you know, your mom is weird for judging the peanut butter and cheese because it is less of a food crime. You guys are still both committing crimes in my mind, but the case as it is presented is it ruling in your favor in that your mom has no leg to stand on in this argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I think we're losing Brad to big mayonnaise. You're cutting out, Brad. Your mother is cutting the connection right now.

God, what I'm saying is you're saying that I'm getting off with a misdemeanor or a slap on the wrist and she has to go up on me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I can agree with that. Yeah, I think that's the right way to do it. I can agree with that. So we sentence you to misdemeanor. Fair enough, I'll make sure to use a better connection,

not my landline next time. The peanut butter doesn't fall far from the tree, but yours fell a little further from the mayo tree, so that's a deal. Also, don't even think about changing your nickname now. Yeah. But again, let me recommend. I'm talking about we're like a badge of honor.

Thank you. Let me recommend to both of you, looking for more flavors jelly. Yes. Yeah Okay, well alright now you're just now okay now you're being I'll say this tried Try the sharp cheddar and peanut butter one time and tell me it's trash. It's not trash. All right, it might not be your favorite It's not bad. All right, get Nuddy Brad, we've already made a ruling get out get back to the Your

What did you say Jordan? He's the nutty one No, you say be gone. What was that? Oh, yeah, he said be gone I'm gonna say I'm gonna say jog on. Oh Gone, that's pretty good. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, jog on. Oh! That's pretty good. I like that. I like jog on.

Let's see. What's up? Why, why are you looking for new things to mix with peanut butter? I don't, like cavemen go peanut butter jelly. And there's so many jellies. People think jelly means grape. No, jelly's the 1972. And yet today, we send 347 billion emails every single day. Crypto is no different. It's new, but like email, it's also revolutionary.

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We'll, we'll bring this. We'll bring a Hitchcock in here and see what they have to say. All right. Hitchcock 99. You are throwing yourself at the mercy of the food court. Go ahead. Okay. So my family or my fiance's family, rather, when they make fried dough, they will put powdered sugar and cinnamon sugar

on the fried dough. And usually I would top that with honey because that makes it a sweet, delicious treat. They put like pizza sauce or pasta sauce on top of the sugars. What, hang on. Wait, hang on. I have to go back to zero here.

What the fuck is making fried dough? What? What is making fried dough? It's like pizza dough that you just fry by itself. Jordan, have you ever done that? You talking about like, are you making a beignet? Like what is the end game? Is it funnel cake? I think some people call it funnel cake.

I'm not sure. Oh, okay. Okay. And this is a thing that you just- I'm back in the bathroom if you can't tell. No, no, yeah, we can tell. So you're saying that your fiance's family makes funnel cake and then they dip it in

pizza sauce? So they'll just cover it with pizza sauce. So in my childhood I would do all the sugars and then put honey on it. Right. So it's cinnamon and sugar and then you would go, ooh honey, and they go, ooh pizza sauce? Yes. What state is this occurring in? We all grew up in Connecticut, but now we live in Georgia.

So I don't think it's a Georgia thing. It doesn't sound like a Georgia thing. It doesn't sound like a Connecticut thing. It doesn't, but I think- No, if you said the Midwest, I wouldn't- Yes. I thought you were gonna hit. It doesn't, but I think- No, if you said the Midwest, I wouldn't. Yes. I thought you were gonna hit us with a Minnesota, dude. Fair food, you know?

People are saying it's a New England thing. Then other people are saying it's not a Connecticut thing. What? Nobody wants to take credit for this. Have you tried the pizza sauce on this? Absolutely not. Oh, so you just, you are a staunch, like you draw the line.

You can just tell. Yeah. Yeah, that's a no for me, but I need verification on this. Okay. Well, my gut definitely says, yeah, my gut says it's fucked up, and that the go the go to combination

is definitely the fried dough with the powdered sugar, a la a beignet or a funnel cake. That just seems right. Uh, I feel like marinara is just going to. It's going to get into like the the air pockets in there and stuff and oh it's gonna sog it it's fried dough but it's light and it's gonna just sog the fuck out of it yeah my family my family would do pizza sauce and like pizza toppings just cheese or Jesus Christ so it's just eat pizza why Jesus Christ. Just eat pizza!

Why don't they just eat fucking pizza? Well, because us kids wanted sugar, essentially. So my dad would just put pizza, sauce, and cheese on it. Wait! Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying your family does this? So, my family makes fried dough and her family makes

fried dough, but my family doesn't mix the sugar with the sauce. So you just make fried dough and then either you make it a sweet one or you make it a pizza one. Yeah. And they do both. This is so bizarre because it's like a food I'm not clear on still. It sounds like it's funnel cake, but I bet it looks different than funnel cake.

Right? It's just like a circle of dough that you put in like a frying pan with oil in it. And I don't know, there's probably a different name for it. So it looks like a donut without the hole in the middle. So it's a round thing of dough that is dipped in pizza sauce they don't dip it they just completely cover it they don't I can't I can't even process this is it is what kind of dough is it would you say it's like a pizza

crust oh in the in the chat in the theater oh so it's that that yeah that's just a small exactly what it looks like. That's just small pizza dough. Yeah. This is insane. We just called it fried dough because we wouldn't put anything specific on it until we were topping it ourselves.

You're just frying dough. This is, the whole thing about this is crazy. I've never heard of, yeah, we're just gonna fry this dough. Right? Well, I mean, if you're frying it just to eat the dough itself, that's crazy. Like what is the point of that?

But if you're putting some sugary toppings on it, that's cool. But like looking at the picture, honestly, marinara doesn't, it doesn't seem like it would be that bad if it's just the dough and in the sauce. Right, something, something that Michael said. Yeah, exactly. After looking at the picture, I get like what Michael was saying where he's like, just make pizza.

Like, what is this? Right. And I agree with that. Just make pizza. You're more than halfway there. You are so close to inventing pizza. In fact, in fact, if you put the sauce and the cheese on it before it's cooked, you're saving effort. And then at the end you're getting pizza. I, we have to get a ruling on the cinnamon and sugar

then mixed with the marinara and everything. What do you guys, Jordan, what do you say to that? Crime 100%. 100%, right? Yeah. 100% crime. Yeah, Michael, any thoughts? Yeah, it's a crime.

I feel like too, just to say the Hitchhawk here, you having said you refuse to even try it, you know how some families are like, I'm the first kid in my family to graduate college. Nobody's done it for me. You're like the first person in your family who like, I'm not a felon. I'm the first one in my family to not have committed a crime. And I also want to say, I like your avatar. Is that Foster's home from imaginary

friends? It absolutely is. Okay, so I in your favor 100% There you go. There you go. That's a good ruling. Um, thanks Hitchcock. Thank you for subscribing. Tell your fiance's family to fucking cut it out. This is terrible. Awful. Back it off.

Yeah, exactly. Let them know. Get back to the audience. Be gone. You really you really pull it back when you said tell your fiance's family to fucking cut it out. I was expecting a lot worse. Yep. Michael, you have time for another one? Yes. Okay. Now I'm gonna now I'm in a closet. Oh, that's cool. You sound better. So yeah, someone had to use the bathroom. Oh, nice. All right. We got working in here. I'm ruling. Yeah, this is work. Yep. All right. We got Max slash Zazie here. Max, you are throwing yourself at the mercy of the court. What is the food crime you're bringing? at the mercy of the court, what is the food crime you're bringing?

One of my favorite foods in the world is I take Kraftinner macaroni, instant mashed potatoes, and I put boiled hot dogs in it, and also ketchup. What are you saying right now? I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on, hang on. I don't want, I wanna make sure we hear the last part.

What do you call it? The ketchup is optional. Okay. I call it the slop. I call it the slop. You call it the slop. Yeah. I made it at work last night. Why? Just why?

OK, so let me define myself. What? There's dishes on my community that are really popular, which is hot dogs and macaroni, and on the side, uh ketchup and mashed potatoes. So I mixed it. I don't, I don't think either one of those are good separately. No they are good. It's a thing. It's a thing. It's a thing. I swear. I swear. As we drag them through the gallows. It's a thing, it's a thing. Cereal killing's a thing.

Yeah. Listen, I'm not lying. The hot dogs and the Kraft dinner is a very popular dish on most Native American reserves. Okay. It's a thing. And so is the mashed potatoes and ketchup. And I mixed them.

But here's the thing. I get like hot dog with macaroni and cheese, like where you cut up the hot dog and you put I mixed them. But here's the thing. I get like hot dog with macaroni and cheese, like where you cut up the hot dog and you put it in there. That's a thing. I get that. I'm from a river trash family. I totally understand it. I get it.

I don't like it, but I get it. You're saying there's that. And then you're saying there's mashed potatoes with ketchup, which again, that's fucking weird, uh But then you're saying yeah put it all together Yeah, mix it up man. The flop Here's the thing here's the thing I think with that I don't even know for we might have to recuse ourselves Because I'm not even able to grapple with this because I can't argue is assuming

this maniac is telling the truth. What he's saying is those side things are already widely accepted where he is. Okay. I can't wrap my head around that. Yeah. And you're saying the crazy part is combining them. I think it's all bat around that. Yeah. And you're saying the crazy part is combining them. I think it's all bat shit crazy. But if you're going to tell me they're already normal, that the normal separately, and that's not the weird part. The weird part is combining them. I think this I'm out of my depth here. Yeah, I think I have to recuse myself. We're working outside of a context that is so foreign to us that we can't even understand the bare minimum, the entry level, because we are so far removed from your life.

Let me put it this way. If you're, again, if the people, if your submission to the court is that the people questioning your slop also agree with you with the mashed potatoes and the ketchup and the macaroni and cheese and hot dogs if that's fine for everyone in the circle and their outrage is that you're combining them they can fuck off and ketchup my co-workers hate it i I mean, yeah. Yeah, heads up. Yeah. The thing I'm really liking right now is the chat where there's some people going,

I might wanna try this. And then other people going, this is food for raccoons. And then other people saying, I need to see how this contraption looks. Contraption. I'll make it tonight for work. I have to make more potatoes. You don't. Oh, also, thank you for your sacrifice. Oh, you know what? You know what? I'll make it tonight. I'll make it again. I'll make it again. I'll make it again and I'll eat it and I'll post pictures in one of the food chats.

Please do. Please do. I'll make it again and I'll eat it and I'll love it and I'll eat it and I'll just keep eating it. I'll take a picture and I'll eat it and I'll love it the whole fucking time. It'll be so good. I had it last night. I'll have it again. You need to- I had it last night and I'll have it again. I'll have it tomorrow. Happy Mother's Day. I'm gonna get off it tomorrow! Happy Mother's Day! Do it! Do it! Take a picture, send us the picture on our Discord or on Twitter or whatever.

We need to see it, because this is fucking crazy. This is- It's good! Stop saying that! I wanna see it all separate and then all mixed together. Two pictures. Why didn't you try them separately for me and then maybe maybe you can mix it He's trying the ways try to like maybe step us into it is like trying all different trying all different and Talking about our yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, this is fucked

This is and also here's the thing if Nick was here I do think that he would be like I need that I Really do but support me that's not you realize that's not in your favor, right? It's enough. It's something It's enough It's enough. I don't even. Well, this is a great one, by the way. I'm glad you brought this.

Yeah, yeah, I it's it's it's very rare for someone to have something so out there that it stumps us. Yeah, yeah. It's not that bad. Stop saying that. Stop. Stop saying it. Stop saying it! Look, far be it from us to tell you what's acceptable amongst, like, your peers, you know? Like, if everyone's okay with eating that stuff, that's cool.

But they're not! But you don't need these outside people who have no context for your community to tell you. Two foods I like and I put it together. You are taking like four foods. There are like four foods here that you are putting together and you just keep saying it's not that bad. It's not that bad, it's good. Did you just, were you here just now

when we hammered the guy for peanut butter and cheese? Yeah, peanut butter and cheese. Did you hear that? And you came in swinging with this? It's not that bad, it's not that bad. It's good! It's not that bad. Good. Jess in the chat just saying the panic in his voice. I really like the chat talking about rattling the jail bars. It's not that bad.

It's not that bad. Well, we will have to recuse ourselves, because we need to see a picture of this. And then we will make. It looks like shit. Yeah, no shit. It looks like shit. But yeah, this is my favorite food court we've ever done.

It's so good. It's good. It's not bad. It's fine. I like it. It looks like shit. I don't need my prime up there for hundreds of thousands of people to see. Oh, hey, don't worry. I am recording this and we will release this. So great. Yeah, no problem, man. Enjoy. Enjoy your weird slop. We'll let you know what we think later. Go back to the audience. No, we're not gonna fucking try it. That's awful. Jordan, tell him to be gone. Be gone, please. Well, I'm sorry. I just thrown out of the court. This is, guys, what we've just landed on here,

I'm feeling really like, this might be a new format for food court. Like, yeah, this is- Why are you saying what I just said? Well, I saw your text and I was trying to bring up naturally on this stream. Yeah, but he's trying to make it sound like it's his idea now I was also just trying to float the idea by you guys and not float it publicly in case we decide not to do it

And I just immediately did it and try to take credit for it. No, I'm not taking all the credit for it Right, but I But I mean but I mean I am the one but I am the one who started it. I'm the one who got it all together The one who used this yeah, they didn't tell me about it didn't invite me. I just showed up didn't tell me you're doing this Right right, and I think this just might be what were you what were you gonna do without me? Just you were you gonna promote yourself on judge no, no. I said I have the gavel. This gives me the ability to be a lower and I said probably the lowest court judge.

That's what I said. So yes, so yes. But but also it was my idea is a good idea and everyone loves it. And it's great. So good for me. Yeah, thanks, Eric. Yeah, no problem. So good for me. Yeah. Thanks Eric Here no problem Do people here listening into this discord? Would you would you like to see this in the future as an official way we handle food court?

Oh my god having like a good score. Jesus fuck where? You can come you can you can present yourself to the. You can defend yourself live because like we've got, we've got limited podcasts times, you know, on a hundred percent eat. And with the Michael Jordan podcast, and we're already talking about like, what do we do with food court? This, this is amazing. This is incredible. And here's the thing. These are all people who have already signed up for the Patreon, right? Like we have a submission form that we can still use.

And if you let us know your food court submission, when you get that form and you fill it out, we can get those together. And then we do the slides. We send you a summons on when to appear in court. Yep, you get a summons to appear in court. Yep, and we do it just like this. We record it.

Wow, great idea, Eric. Eric, such a good idea. Eric, this is awesome. This is why thank you for Jordan for setting up the business. Now I'm helping, now I'm helping. Yeah. This has been so good.

This has been phenomenal. has been so good. This has been phenomenal. People on, no, Jess, don't say great job, Michael. Great job, Eric. The, the people who have signed up for the Patreon are helping us so much. This is so much fucking fun too. I love this. This is a blast.

Um, do, do we want to take another one or do we want to call it there I? Think we got to end on a high note. Okay. All right. No, that's fine. All right. I'll agree. Okay That was a pretty that was a pretty high note. I mean, I thought I thought that was a really high one But let's see if we can get one good. It's good. Is it? This guy you're talking about it Defending his fucking slop food. This is crazy. He's giving recommendations. If you wanna make it how I make it, here's what I use.

Oh my God. Okay, let's see if we get one more that really bangs out on, ready? Alrighty. Okay, the Phoenix, you are here and you are throwing yourself on the moose and the mercy of the food court. On the moose. Don't, don't, don't. I know what I did and I stopped it and I corrected it.

On, shut up! On the mercy of the food court. Hammer him, hammer him, hammer him, hammer him. Mercy of the food court. The Phoenix. Remember all the typos Eric has in the 100% me thing? Those aren't out yet. Don't worry about those. We do, you support us. Do, we do more. Do more we. Dirty bike. Okay, go ahead.

So first and foremost, big fan. Thank you. Second most. Thank you. As a kid, and to this date, I put Parmesan on pretty much everything. As a matter of fact, I think I started the whole cheese with peanut butter, because I threw out that I put Parmesan cheese on my PB&J. You started that. What the fuck? That's not even the food crime I selected you for.

You're just, you're bringing in more insane shit. This is like somebody being on trial and being like, look, I know I'm being charged with this crime. I also committed these other crimes Here's the thing I know it's insane I just I just want to know how insane it is so I put parmesan on my PB&J and the big thing that my family Is weirded out about it is I put parmesan in my chocolate shake What the fuck? all right well be gone It is just saying ban him

What are you What the fuck are you again again? You've given you've given us money. We won't ban you we might jail you yeah, but you won't be banned What why why do you do this? I? Don't know man. I've had it likes parmesan cheese. He was pretty clear And it's not even the slices or anything it's that powdered shit that you get from craft. Oh boy What what you talk about it's're talking about grated Parmesan? Yeah, yeah, it's the powdery bullshit. The shit you put on your pizza,

like the little Caesar's box. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. What, I'm asking you though, you're saying that you do this and you like it. I'm asking, what does it do to the shake that makes you go, damn, that you do this and you like it I'm asking what

does it do to the shake that makes you go damn that's the stuff Oh cheese Jordan what's on the menu I guess for parmesan cheese so we'll just leave it at that. Wait, wait. You know what? I can understand that. Does it add? It's a powder, cocaine's a powder. We'll just leave it at that. Why do you gotta get it? I'm on your side with that one.

100%. What? It doesn't make it like thick? Well, no, if you only put a little bit of it and then stir it throughout the shake, you get the taste of Parmesan and the taste of the chocolate and you get like a chocolate cheese type of thing.

It's really good. Oh yeah, chocolate cheese, you know, the good stuff. You know what? You know what? I'm gonna try this. What? No. No.

You mean what? Don't do it. I just had a chocolate shake the other day. It's pretty good. And I'm thinking, why don little packet powers on cheese in it Then it would be bad. I imagine and then but you don't know and then you okay So you're saying you put the cheese in the shake not a lot just a little so you stir it throughout Yeah, and then you get

Bits as a change color throughout. Yeah. And then you get bits. Does it change color? You get the creaminess from the parmesan and a little bit of salty as well as the chocolate. You know, Jordan, you know how you're drinking a shake and you go, not creamy. I know I know the solution. Salty cheese.

I know the solution. Salty cheese. This is man. This is but I'm so glad we took one more. You are. We keep asking you why you keep going. I don't know. And then you are staunchly going. Love it though. Love it though. You're just in too deep. Well, here's the thing, I keep telling you,

I don't know why it's like cocaine to me, and you keep asking why. Yeah, no, I understand that. I'm gonna try this. I'm for sure gonna try this. Wow, okay. I'll report back. Okay, so the ruling is we have a split decision

because Jordan wants to try. Jordan wants to throw you off a cliff and Michael said he's gonna give it a shot. I That's about yeah, that's about what my family's like I've converted my brothers in my thinking and the rest of my family just wants to kill me So wait about the same thing wait you converted your brother to doing this also Yeah Incredible excellent, this is fucking crazy your brother to doing this also? Yeah. Incredible.

Excellent. This is fucking crazy. Well, can you convert your brother to joining, can you convert your brother to paying for this page? Yeah. Can you, can you? It's a family crime ring. Not to bring up past though,

but he was a big age fan and a big face jam fan when it was on. So I don't see that being as far-fetched. Get him, get him in here and make him fucking defend himself. He was a big face jam fan. Yeah. last used to be well. It's not face damn anymore. That's true. It's true Okay, so we'll convert his ass over here Can you next time you make a chocolate shake and you do this? Can you take a picture and like post it in the discord, please? We need a slop foods channel for sure

Or I guess that's what the food porn channels for. We just make a food court. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll go ahead and do that. Okay, cool. Thank you very much. Well, congratulations. For some reason you're not going to jail for this.

It is a split decision and Michael will report back. I mean, if I go to jail for it, then it is what it is. I did what I loved. No regrets. I lived as I died. I died the way I live. I appreciate that. Okay. Well, Jordan, tell me to be gone. So you gone. Oh man. Um, Oh, look who showed up at the end. Oh, wow. Wow, man. Just in time. You missed everything, dude. Jesus Christ. What happened? What happened? What happened? We busy? We were. I don't think your timing could be any more perfect, honestly.

Yeah, I mean, because we're just about to end this, which has been really great, Nick. But let me ask you. Did you show up because I posted my really good idea in the text chat? Yes. OK. OK, thank you. Uh, Nick. I'm gonna ask you.

And then Eric's trying to take credit for it. It's not that I'm trying to take credit, it's that I started this thing and it's a good idea and everyone loves it. It's, Nick, let me ask you, before we wrap up this food court, we had a food that was presented to us that is hot dogs in macaroni and

cheese mixed with mashed potatoes and ketchup thoughts. We're gonna have to give it a shot. Okay. Oh my god is this is in fucking dude this guy has been old and he's freaking out. He's been emboldened. We knew I fucking knew. I knew that you're not absolutely got this. This is ridiculous. Man has no say. This is not absolution.

No, absolutely not. If anything, it's worse. If anything, it's worse that he agrees. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. Well, that'll do it for this food court. All live on our Patreon, which is how we're probably gonna do it from now on. Great job, me.

If you subscribe to the Patreon, you'll get a priority submission form sent directly to you where you can put your submission in for food court. And if we choose it, you'll receive a summons to appear in the FaceJam food court. This has been great. I think that these people are freaks, but they're paying us.

So I love them. So thank you. Any other thoughts before we disband to the food court for the day? Let's try it. Okay. That's not you just got here. This is not. Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't get thoughts anymore what other

regulate that point i gotta come back here and save this thing no not no not at all i'm about to end this thing i'm about to end this thing so all right good work thanks guys bye