100% Eat - Free Smells Are The Worst Smells %% Jimmy John's Toasted Pizza Sandwiches

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

Our Heroes are in it for the Free Smells and the trampoline. The smells are free and the subs suck. Buncha corpos eating provolone cheese ONLY. Enjoy this week's YouReview which is like a creative writing assignment that comes full circle. Wow. Not much to say about the food honestly. If you want to see them build a trampoline, it's on Patreon for all members, even free: https://www.patreon.com/posts/were-building-139667699?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_[…]copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_linkGrab a hat, a hoodie, and a shirt then https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. dot CA slash YMX It's going to be the best sounding intro ever

Welcome to 100% eat This is how Nick always wants me to look Welcome to 100% eat The show where we try every fast food restaurant To let you know if you need it You probably need it You probably need it do I'm your host Michael Jones

Alongside my co-host Jordan, how are you? And how's the audio quality? Where's that voice coming from my kids? I can't see, I can't see Michael. Look to your right. It came over before his head. Set the microphone run off.

Set it and stepped away. And it was literally like, let's see how that looks. And Eric was like, surely not. Dead center in his face and just went covering. Look, I get there we're an audio podcast first. We have to be aware of the video and not do that. Please. I mean, you're supposed to solve the problem of people who don't know where the voices are coming from.

And if we're blocking Michael's face, we don't know. where the voice is coming from. I forgot about the I don't know where the voices are coming from thing. Did you forget? I know who's talking. It's like crazy.

Crazy. Yeah, I don't know. Close my eyes and it's just, I'm not sure we should even like have bothered doing an episode. Why's that? I mean, what's going on? We all know Nick's getting raptured

in the middle of this. Oh, that's true. On the day we're recording this, the rapture is occurring when I believe the horns of Jerusalem sound for the final time then the rapture will. you know what the final time is? I don't know.

Well, when the person gets raptured, then... When we watch this and Nick starts getting sucked up in the air, but he gets caught in the corner, like a balloon, and he starts kicking around. I see. One of the fun things about the people talking about the rapture is that there has been a lot of logistical discussion about what to do when you're being raptured. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, avoids and shit.

Should you be outside at all times? Here's what I'm going to. You're sucked up into the sky. As not an expert on the subject. But you're the closest that we have. I feel like if we're entering the stage of rapture from God, he should be able to figure out the logistics. He or she.

Get out of your car! Pull over. It's just a voice in your head. Wait, I have to stop. Okay, you know, and if that's what they do, fine. That's like a PSA. But I would still, you can't rapture and go, well, they weren't ready. Yeah.

Oh, man. Yeah. That's like a great skit. Sorry you missed it I was on the toilet I missed It's also It's also I knew I shouldn't have had Taco Bell

Before the Rapture It's also one more before we all got It's also though like it's very You know Cinematic to see someone get sucked up In the sky but like why You get teleported You get stuck in the space and just die

But again Heaven is heaven isn't up Heaven is down Heaven's down and also up Is fucking outer space and the sun So it's like even in like Whoa they got raptured where Yeah. Right. How long are you in space until you get to heaven?

They got right above the cloud and then God rolls up in like a shitty Buick and he's like, all right, we're driving the rest of the way. That was just for show. Yeah, yeah. I don't have that much power. Also, you definitely go down. Heaven is down because when they bury you six feet deep, it's to put you closer with God. Thank you. Right. So it's like, duh. Another great thing I'm really proud of from just the creative juices of this podcast. It's a thing I like to, like, that's in my repertoire. I say it to anyone, knowing they won't get it, but then they will inquire and I can immediately explain.

And they don't need to understand or not. They now understand why I'm saying. Yep. It makes a lot of sense. No, no, no, actually. Hell's up. And they'll go, what do you, what? Yep.

Think about it. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. Basic thermodynamics. Uh-huh. He rises. Scary up there. What's out there? Nothing.

Blackness scary. Ooh, I'm, oh, what's down there? Comfort. Comfort. Ooh, I'm buried six feet deep in my coffin. Oh, this is so nice. Yeah, I'm so close to God. Godworms.

Yeah. God worms. God worms. So the problem is, I don't know where my hat is. It's in my house somewhere. I haven't surgically attached to my head yet. Oh. That's the problem.

We really should have gotten. So, yeah. Trust me, I'd be wearing it. Damn. You can get that head at 100% eat dot store. Check that out. Would you like to wear Knicks? No.

Nick, just show it. Nick showed off to your camera. Nice. Yeah. I see the hat for sure. Looks good. Yeah. Anything else? No. Any... Was there something else to see? I think he's talking about his new background image.

Oh. I don't think he was either, Jordan. I don't think you, I don't... What? You look great. This whole thing? This whole thing. What? I'm telling... Oh, do we ever get any other shit? No, I don't know. Do you... You've ordered it, so... I don't know if you have any, like, shipment information. I mean, I could look it up. I've just thought it'd be easier to, you know,

just have it be here and do no more work than I've already put it. I got it, right? Unless it was delivered by the postal service. In which case, it might be in the mailbox. But why would that come? And that's a whole trick. Yeah, I don't know. Hmm.

Well, I guess I'll find out maybe it's in there somewhere for 100% treat. I'll look in a few days. I'll look because it is my responsibility if it like went somewhere else or got delayed or whatever. What I don't want to do is look and see a delivery date and I've just wasted 30 seconds in my time. Right. That's the day it's coming. Yeah. So if it's not here by the end of this week, I might take 20 seconds and look at an email. And it's smart. Or I'll just call up little Gabby.

Yeah. Give it to Gabby Newsome. Yeah. Yo. Preach. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Nick wants you to move your microphone so bad.

Which way? Like straightening it? Yeah, there you go. Why the fuck don't you just say that? When I'm not looking at him. Yeah. Well, because I can see out of the corner of my eye. But he's doing this.

But also, this is Nick being a sound guy. Yep. Where he's trying to give notes silently. But he's also the same guy that's just like, what, what, no. That's different. No, no. Yes, it's different.

This is a way better reason to just say, move your microphone. It's a much better reason to just fucking say it. All the other bullshit. Do you know what we do on this show? You went outside and picked fucking vegetables off a fence and we cut them up and I ate it. Different show. Same show. It's the same show.

I'll strangle you. Jordan's going to flip out. Jordan's going to show right now, basically. I'm ordering, I'm actually ordering him a whiteboard to replace the, the one he used to have. Oh, that's cool. That'll be nice set dressing. Oh, shut him up. Oh, shit.

That's my. We talked about it earlier on the drive over to. Order, um, order that and then get some of Gracie's hostage tape. Yeah, some hostage tape. The hostage kidnap tape. The really quiet amongst That's okay The good ones

It's facial hair friendly Yeah friendly It's friendly to your facial hair We were talking about this on the way over To pick up Jimmy John's toasted pizza sandwiches That's right And we realized that

We could get this today Oh nice Jordan's ideas When we were coming over to 100% eat Was does the monkey talk Like does Nick wear the mask? He doesn't talk And it was like Oh

Whoa we were talking We were going to memory lane again about the road trip and I mentioned that car just drove by it and that he has no problem saying that's just in character

right all I'm asking is be in character as the audio guy too just throw that into your character yeah that should be part of the character is it oh thank you do you think 14 inches by 11 inches is too big I think that's about the size of the one it's not just too big it's impossible it's impossible

okay I'm ordering it. Perfect. I love this show. It's so much fun. It really is. It's impossible. It really is.

And it's really funny. Sometimes we come in here and we get going on this right away. It's just like preamble for like a couple minutes. The last one I was on, I know I was going for like 15, 20 minutes and you were trying to nudge it and I was like, we'll get there, baby. Come down. We got there. Still finished like right at the right time. It's true.

We know when to pick up a little bit. bit like I'm I go we know when to expand I also I also just so the audience knows I mean I assume you know but like there's a very clear choice when I'm rambling for 12 minutes about something at the beginning of the podcast because I know it's more interesting than what we're about to talk about I just let me get it out of the way that I get so I'm not worried about going too early like long too early like oh no already 15 minutes what I'm worried is getting to the end and we're at 47 minutes right yeah yeah that's oh I totally get oh what do we not that we have like a time No, but we shoot for an hour. We shoot for an hour. I'd like to go for an hour. And if we just talk about this shit sometimes, it's like 46 minutes. And then we'll just like have Nick do something silly or whatever.

That was me last week. I was on a tear last week. Yeah. Well, that was the, uh, it was the flu game. What's up? You were, you were sick the day before and you went and let's call it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you came back big style.

So what happened is, so we did. Michael Jordan. We did the, uh, the ride along. I was so not feeling well. Yeah. that right along I'd like push through I'm sure like

I was like disassociating I just didn't feel well so then yeah we pushed the podcast to the next day it was like 500% like I tried to make up for lost time

and you did it and you did it so it was extra like yeah and it was one of the first times like we're back we're in our like regular cadence I didn't want to do

yeah I know like episode's gonna suck yeah we're getting back into like a regular cadence we're also able to like with the way schedules have sort of shaken out

and after doing this for a while and we're like okay, we have like the stability and kind of like where we're at, we're able to do more. So we'll have like, there are weeks where we'll film two episodes. And then there's other weeks where it's like,

we have a day where we can do 100% treat and like random live streams. Tomorrow's our, it'll be like our first one. That we'll actually be able to do it. And like, I know we have stuff that's like on the schedule, but it's stuff that I also, like Michael is kicking around ideas

that I think are really good ideas. Yeah, he's going to say it later on a live stream and not credit me. My ideas. And, like, it's just, I like having the ability to do that and we have a place where we can do it in. I really like this house house. I like this idea to you. I don't want to say it just because we don't do it.

In case we don't do it, right. But, well, actually, if I say it, that means we have to do it. Well, we might get rained out. Well, no, it doesn't actually mean that. But if we get rained out, we still have to do it later, just not tomorrow. That's true. It doesn't change the idea at all. Okay.

Do you want to say it? We're not going out there, like, putting on fucking galoshes and doing it in the rain. We'll just do it another day. So we have the trampoline we're going to build. And like, what's great about this is it is content, but it's also so much of me removing anger and frustration from this potentially annoying thing. We have to build the trampoline.

I have no idea how long it's, like, estimated to take. I'm sure it'll say, like, one to two hours, I would guess. I don't know. I'm expecting at least 90 minutes to two hours. Right. Now, it shouldn't be that hard, but it's going to be annoying. And much like when you guys were pulling those shelves and shit, like, what the fuck is four people going to do?

Like, well, help, but there's, no way all of us are going to be building it at the same time. And it's just going to be frustrating. Many hands make light work is what I've been told. Yeah. Well, no. Fortunately though, like we don't really ever get like actually snippy or shit like that, but it's not fun. And I'm like, what if we're... Yeah, it's work. It's work.

I'm like, well, what have we live stream it? Then I'm not going to give a fuck. If it's frustrating his shit, I'm going to be like hammering Eric about it. He's going to be fucking taking his hat off so much. I said, I would rather I would rather not build it in 90 minutes to two hours off camera than I

I'd spend three to four hours building it on a live stream. Yeah. Because it would be so much more satisfying. We'll get content. We get the goddamn chore done. And anything that goes wrong is just funny. Yeah. Like, it would always be funny, but Eric won't find it as funny if it's not a live stream.

That's true. He'll get, like, real, actually, annoyed. And I'm still going to make fun of him the exact same way. And it'll kind of piss them off more. Might as well just make content out of it. Exactly. And you don't want to... You also don't want to be in a situation where you build the whole thing, you realize,

oh, I built the whole thing upside down. Right. God. And then it's like, well, that's really funny. It would have been great if we were filming that. Yeah, that would have been great on camera. That's what I'm saying. So I suggested we should just like set up a little tripod.

Yeah. Because it's also a thing that I don't want to like spend effort filming. Yeah. Trampoline's going to be enough pain in the ass. But we should just pop a little tripod. See what we're going to do for audio. Yeah. And I don't know.

It'll just be like a fucking stupid-ass stream. Has anyone tried that? What should guys build it? Build it. Build it. Build it. But we'll call it Gracie's Trampoline. Yeah.

Or Gracie's dream. Put her name in the title. It's clicks. Has anyone tried to build a trampoline upside down so you can go down faster? So you can go to heaven faster? Yeah. Is that how people are getting raptured? Rapture yourself? Interesting.

Oh, no. I sold my trampoline because I thought I was getting raptured. Now it's a gift of the magic situation. When I see stories of that stuff where it's like, oh, my aunt gave me $40,000, whatever, you just get like, this is fake. Like, shut up. This is, this didn't happen. Yeah, I saw like videos of people who were like sold my car and it's like being taken

on to the tow truck. Yeah. It's like, I doubt you really did. It's like, that's cool. I saw like three seconds of your 30 second video. I'm glad that got a click for you or whatever. That's very nice. That is a strange phenomenon where like people will just believe things.

Yeah. Like what they see on TikTok is like, well, I saw a TikTok where this happened. It's like, yeah, but did you think about like them setting up their camera? Yeah, the logistics of all this? And then, yeah, like how they got such a good shot of the stranger and the interaction. Yeah. Okay, there's that. But then the other thing that drives me fucking nuts is it.

does not dispute this could be staged or whatever, but I also don't give a fuck. People get so like into, into, yeah, I don't think I was staged, at least for like comedy sketches. Who cares if they're staged or not? I don't care, it's funny.

If it's rage bait, right, I immediately have just like, you are, you are contributing to the net decline in a lot of society. So many fucking stupid fucking people. So many dumb fuck people. And I especially see it with

like motorcycles. Something don't happen. Like I saw this is definitely not staged it's like someone was on a motorcycle and a car like pull it real close and like almost like bumped into them. It's like kind of being a dick or whatever drove around. And the person on the motorcycle is like like it's a woman driving and in the car and the motorcycle and she had like another friend in front of her on a motorcycle and the guy like saw her like almost crashing into her and shit. But like pushing her out of the lane like she's not in on a vehicle. And the other guy turns around zips in between the cars and just closes. is the woman's side mirror. Awesome. Which is so funny. That's fucking great. I'm not hurting.

I'm not damaging your car or whatever. But like fuck you. Yeah, but that's annoying. So then they go back up front. This woman like gets out of her car and like, oh, she takes pictures of their license plate on their motorcycle. Like they're in the wrong. Right. Anyway, point being someone was, many people in the comments are like, yeah.

And who happened to be filming all this? It's called the 360 camera. It's a 360 camera. There's so many motorcycles. There's so many 360 videos where someone goes, had they set up the camera. Yeah. fake yeah and it's that how dumb are you to not understand that what a 360 camera is and you can't

see the pole yep and it's kind of all point yeah and it's not weird that the cameras just floating there like a video game literally people are how would do that yeah fake so many people but the last bastion of a good comment section that will make me laugh a lot of times is the top two or three comments on a funny TikTok where i go like oh it's pretty they'll just reply with some like some person just fucking collect i've been watching a lot of intentional car accident videos where a guy is trying to like run over someone else and it's somebody filming from like an apartment and it's like midnight and you're like what is this now those are legit yeah and then it's are we doing shit like that it's crazy and then it's it's like i don't like we live in it although

people in this neighborhood can't drive dude right here no shit but then you get a lot of comments that They're like, oh, kachow, all right. You're just like, oh, this is pretty good. All right, cool, cool. It's a fun, just me-me-enough stuff. Dude, after two weeks of not driving. Oh, yeah, that's right. And then coming back here and having to go do an errand

and encountering Austin drivers. It really is like the percentage of people who can't drive is so high. It's just, they just aren't paying specifically. I mean, it's real bad everywhere. It's human beings. We're fucking brain dead We're stupid

Like people And they're just like Here drive this thing Yeah like it's insane How easy it is to get a license Yes There's just like anyone you know From your childhood

Whatever As like a teenager They all got it Teenager adult whatever You know you have people Like I don't know how the fucking guy gets dressed in the morning He's never paying his bills

on time But he also drives a car Yep And it's like Kind of risky there It's kind of risky It's people who just don't have like But

Not just like immediate situational awareness, but like the next level. Well, it's just like, of what they can't see. Most people are probably bad drivers just because people are like humans, right? We're error machines, okay? But on top of that, people don't know how the fuck to drive here. Like, like, situationally. I'm just talking mechanically, but they're like, oh, I'm not going to turn right on red.

I had that. The whole fucking, and it's not just wait for the lane to break. Sometimes you have your own lane. Yep. Yeah. And I can, I'm three cars back. I see two cars in the further lane, no one coming in this lane.

And I'll just go, turn, turn, turn, turn, go, go, go, go. Turn the car. Yep, right. Turn the car's right on red. Anytime I mention that, like in a podcast or whatever, always, that people who clearly don't turn on red come in the comments section. I'm actually in the legality. Sorry that people aren't trying to, like, get killed because you're in such a rush and you don't have any patience.

That is nothing to do with you don't know how to drive. Nope, don't know how to drive. Don't understand. Don't be polite. Be right. My logic doesn't turn around to you. Well, you know what? What does it 10 seconds?

What does it even matter? I mean, it matters because there's no reason to do it. I don't care if it's two seconds, 10 seconds, 30 seconds. There's a flow of traffic and everyone around you is waiting for you to turn right. The right thing that you're supposed to do by the law. When the light turns green, you should be going almost immediately. I'm not saying slam on the gas. I'm saying you see it turn green.

I go beat drive. Oh, I definitely look to. Let's see who's going to run this red. Yeah. Oh, I always check for that. Eric, no one ever runs the red. no one ever, ever starts faster than me.

And I get that, I get the concept is like, you just gun it? No, I just go. It turned green so I go. The safety part is over. We're at the red light. All the cars stopped. We're now given the right to go. But people treat it like Mario Kart, like that means three, two, no, it's already fucking green.

I didn't get the boost. Fuck. I can't believe people will sit at a green light for like a full two to three seconds. And it really matters if you're on like a really busy road and it's a very short left turn light. That drives me in the fucking wall. There's 12 cars. Two cars will go through

and it could have been four or five. Not running red light. Yeah, but what about you just paid the fuck attention, turned and went? I don't know why you're so upset. I'm on my phone. Yeah. It's people on their phone and just missing it.

Yep. But it enraged them even more. Watching them look at the green light. And I'll be like, go. Well, don't rush. Yep. I'm not rushing. No one's rushing.

You're driving the fucking car. We're going. Yeah, there is a thing. where like if everyone moved at the same time yeah like perfect harmony like you could you could you could make most lights but everyone waits for the car in front of them to go

yeah in the car in front of them to go I can't that's the other thing I try to try to yeah I try to go with the car I can't round my hand around someone being the second car in they're like halfway through the intersection and then they start yeah I love I so often and this would be cutting off if these people didn't drive like this like in New Jersey

that would never fucking happen yeah would be like have to cut someone off You're like, it's so easy for me to do here and then not cut people off because I'll be like, oh, fuck, I need to get in the left lane. Oh, there's a two-car gap. Yeah, it's always there.

At the red light, people leaving the full car gap. What is that? Oh, my favorite thing is, is trying to... I'll tell you. It ain't Jimmy Jones. Straight line. You're going straight here, straight only lane. Yeah.

A new lane opens up that's left turn only. I have to turn left, so I got to get there. Car here, just barely blocking like me being able to get in there. two, a car and a half gap. It's like, well, if you just scoot up, I could fit into the lane I need to get into and they're like on their phone.

I lay on my horn. Yeah, I just, I just make, I just make the move for it. I just, I just, I work around drivers around me constantly. I will speed up to get ahead of you. I will slow down to get behind you. That's the other thing that people just don't do. They'll be in a lane say they need to go two lanes over to make a right to like get on an exit and they're

driving the exact same speed as a car next to them. And they're just, they're blinkers on. There's no one in front of this car. Are you going to move? There's no one behind this car. You need to get over. They don't. I, if I was that person,

be like, this guy's a fucking idiot. Again, we'd do it for him. I'd drive faster so you can get in. But people don't have to do that. And I'll be behind the guy going, you're going to slow down? You're going to slow down? Like, just fucking slow down.

Make a move, yeah. It's speed. Yeah. It's going to blow. Just like, that. People fucking suck at driving. They suck at. You're talking about, like, people going at the green light.

When there is an arrow and you're, like, four cars deep on the, in line, and you see the first car. Because you can't see everything. You see the first car. All right. Cool. The second car should be right behind them. Don't turn yellow. Where are they?

Where are they? Where is the second car? Why are they going? Right. And if it's a giant huge truck tractor trailer, that makes sense. Yep. They go slow. They go.

They turn line. Yeah. But that shit takes forever. It never is. It's like, dude, you're in like a mini. I don't. Crazy. Well, 100% eat the giant.

driving podcast. Yeah. Welcome to it. You want to just go eight more minutes? Is that? No, I guess we could talk about Jimmy Johns.

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for complete terms and conditions. So, Jimmy John's toasted pizza sandwiches. Yep. Free smells. So Jimmy John. There's a neon sign in the window that says free smells.

Who the fuck wants to read that? Who wants things? Because it's like... But then you walk in and you're like... Then you're smelling. But also, you're aware of the... I'm not saying it would have come across, well, it had to be better. Now, I'm not saying this would be a good slogan, but you're, you're not even emphasizing their good smells.

Yeah. Just that they're free. Often free smells are the worst smells. You ever walk around New York? That's true. You ever walk around New York? Free smells. Yep.

Like, do you think people's good? People ever poke their head in and just go, I'm just here for the free smells. Oh, all right, thanks guys. You're giving them away. Oh, you want free smells? Hang on. Sal! Do your thing.

Three smells. Also, I did it, it smelled like Jimmy Johns, I guess. But it wasn't a thing where I'm like, ah, that's, now that's the smell. I mean, it didn't smell like, it wasn't even really like a thing. It wasn't overwhelming like a subway.

It didn't really smell like anything. It smelled like it was a place they made some food of something. Yeah. And that's what it smelled like. It wasn't specifically fresh bread or like. Right. But, but can't fault them.

Three smells. It is what they said. That is what they're offering. what they wear? They just said they were free. They didn't say you wanted them? Nuh. But you got them. One way or the other. It was that in a convention of people from Dell or Samsung or something just going in to like another person. A bunch of it was wearing the same blue shirt tucked in to some slacks. You see like lanyards? Yeah. A bunch of them like wearing lanyards and stuff.

Fucking crazy. And it was like going next door, it was like a little strip mall with like a Jimmy Johns in the middle. And that Jimmy Johns was not hopping. There was. No. And it was about lunchtime. Lunch time in the corporate business area. Well, they all went to Jimmy Johns yesterday. Oh, you know what I have it again. They already had the pizza subs. Oh, yeah.

They took, and they took some smells to go. Yeah, yeah. A guy went in with his own cup. Can you throw in some more in the bag for me? They can sniff it a little bit throughout the week. You're blowing this for me. It's a big bag. Can capture this.

I'm going to bring this back to the office. Show the guys. They were just giving them out. Dude, this is what you miss. This is what you miss. Do smell this. What the fuck? No, no, no, it's cool.

free. It's too many sea cakes. Yeah, but I'm my concern where it's like well hold on you're not

got a charge of me for these smells like a guy rolls up in a van he's like hey kid you want some free smells

oh shit all right I got all cam I got you I got all hey you want free smells

no no he's looking for free smells I heard you got free smells I can trade you some uh

where's the chicken where's the chicken Jimmy John's a restaurant that you guys are like going to or into

you have no I never go to Jimmy Johns ever I despised it from the second I got here I grew up eating a lot of sandwiches like sub sandwiches and shit

and I prefer American like my sub sandwich is nobody eats it I eat salami and cheese because it goes back to my baby roots but I understand provolone is the predominant cheese that is the case in Jersey as well it's standard usually is provolone and I would always just swap it out that's fine there's a bunch of sub-shops here

I fucking love Jersey mics like I think it's very very good Jersey Mike for Jersey Mike. Jimmy Johns, the first time I ever went there, I found out they only have provolone cheese. They only? And they'll never let you switch out. And I'm just like, well, what the fuck will come here? What kind of establishment is this?

How do you not have American? How do you not have options of cheese? But just, it's not even like saying, oh, this place has six cheeses, whatever. It's like having mustard in a restaurant, no ketchup. Right. Like, like it's provalone, it's American. Is the fact guaranteed locked in?

If you're lucky, they might do like slices of fresh fresh mozzarella. They might have like a pepper jack, whatever. That's a, if maybe sure, whatever. Yeah. You don't have American or even a second fucking choice. But is the Swiss? Most people of, I hate Swiss.

Is it a thing that they're like proud of? And they're like, yeah, we do provolone so good. It's all right off. I'm sure it's, like, I've never heard that. I guess their thing is very just like basic, but it's too basic. If you're, American can be also basic. Just have provolone of America. If you're as crazy.

She's to get in this country. other single sub shop that I've been to in this grows on trees. I've not run into this. I think if you're asking if Jimmy John is, I don't even know about the quality of their food, generally speaking, because fuck you, be a piece of shit. If you're asking

if Jimmy John is a proud boy, I think he, I think he might be if he's proud of what? His cheese or whatever. You know, but one way or the other. I know he's proud of his big game hunting. Yes, he is. Boy is he. It's his whole thing. It's, his whole thing

isn't it? Go out and kill a lion and then kill a hippo or I don't know, whatever you can get. We joked about it last time but he got cinnamon. Yeah, bang. And then and then, and then I don't know if you remember we were talking about, I don't know if we ate it or we were

just talking about Papa John's and Gracie's like, is that the guy? I do remember that. Well, it's the guy, but not for the thing you're thinking of. Right. Yeah. It's the guy, but a different, in a different way. He's somebody's guy. He's getting raptured for sure. Well, Speaking of Jimmy Jones, you guys want to learn about Jimmy Jones?

Well, Jordan, he didn't give your opinion. Do you eat Jimmy Jones? No, it's not even on my radar. If I were to make a list of like, oh, yeah, these are the common sub sandwich places. I would forget Jimmy Jones. It was so apparent, like early on. It's not that it's not on my radar. I don't need a radar.

It's over there and the fuck this place. You know what I mean? Like everything's on my radar. I forget about it. You put it in the hate pile. Right. Right. I'm saying, I will never go there ever, they don't have American cheese. And any time someone mentions Jimmy John's...

I forgot they existed. Anytime someone mentions Jimmy Johns, I go, fuck that place. They don't American cheese. And they'd be like, oh, I guess they don't. Or Nick thought they did. Nick's got this up one? Nick's got the app. He's a big Jimmy John.

He's a big Jimmy John's guy. He's a big supporter of Jimmy John Young. He loves... And everything he does. Not even like the sandwich, just like the politics. No, not since the hunting incident. And everything he shoots. Not since.

That was the line. That said. That's the line. That said Hunt and kill And just like destroy Wildlife just eviscerate anything you need I will eat every pro bonoan sandwich you want

Sponsor this show sponsor it just give us money and we'll say it's good You know you can hunt Nick we'll bring him out to like the safari Yeah the most dangerous game monkey we'll give you like We'll give you trink darts Trank darts bro we'll hang a fuck we'll hang a fucking Jimmy John's banner right here I can get over cheese You better like if you're talking about bank rolling Crazy

He just said you better be quick I'm quicker That's fine and I'm sure That's what Jimmy John's in is To thrill the hunt He's like two miles away In a tree with a sniper rifle There you go

He'd love to see how true that is Mm-hmm He won't see me coming Not after Nick You're hunting Jimmy John Not after Nick goes into settings And changes the date That's right

And kills Jimmy John Jesus Christ Our last Jimmy John's episode was on April 9th, 2024 where we ate the Jimmy John's Caprizi salami pesto sandwich it received an average rating

of 66.5. Totally forgot we had that. Yeah, probably the only reason I liked it is salami pesto. Yep. What were you going to say? I thought he was going to say me to 100%. I'm sure he was, right?

Yeah. You forgot it? I forgot it too. Oh, okay. No, that's fine. That was a deliberate pause. I thought we were going to say something. We'll check this out. Remember this. And hit him with it.

You have the second fact. The last time we ate Jimmy Johns, Gracie received the pluffle and her journey of snacks and relax began. The pluffle is now in our possession because many are saying Gracie does not even like or care about the pluffle anymore. She is not here and cannot defend herself. Maybe it's the sauce monkey's pluff monkey now. Pluff monkey question, question? Whoa.

Yeah, Gracie said hang on to this for a minute. I want to take a picture I want you to take a picture of me pointing a loaded handgun at it and like just film it so she knows it's live ammunition

I mean like look it's empty and now it's not actually if you do that and then a bullet comes out all the time by accident because it's so fun to do when you when you're like boom

oh oh it was ready to go one of the chamber it's so hard to put them in Yeah. Perce their little fingers. Takes forever. You got a little tool. The little tools good.

We were talking about getting firearms for the office because we could write them off. Yep. And I still think we should do that. We should all get to pick a cool gun out. Yeah. One cool gun. Like it's insane where we live.

Not just America, but Texas. It's outrageous. But I mean, like, well, I mean, I live here. We live here. Take the perk. Yep. Why not? Let's go buy a cool gun.

Yep. Let us know in the comments what cool gun we should get. Yeah! Any monkey gun? Yeah. In August of this year, Jimmy John's launched its second Canadian location

within the Fallsview Casino in Niagara Falls. So come eat a big ass pizza sub in the middle of a tourist trap casino and put it all on black but it comes us but it comes us double zero and you try to explain

that you actually didn't mean it and you try to take your chips back and get your ass kicked out of the casino so, hard that you end up in, I knew you were going here, in a barrel that goes over the edge of the waterfall, yeah, we would say that's pretty epic. I knew

you were going to this. I knew not just waterfall, I knew you're going to a barrel. Yeah, you're going in a barrel. You got to go in a barrel. You got to do it old school style. It's the safest way to go down the water bowl. The safest form of transportation is a barrel. That's why Donkey Kong. That's how we're going to transport Nick to the safari. We're going to put him on a boat.

Jimmy John opens a barrel and it's Nick pops in the mask pops out. Now run Did you get any text messages by the way? Oh no What did you do now? Did I? No, I'm not involved in this

My phone's on Do Not Disturb Gracie texted me Keep my name out of your mouth What the pluffle and I have Is none of your business Well, it's kind of our business This is where I have to I'm still on Gracie's side

but it is your pluffle, but it is our business. Right, we are in the business not protecting it. Not just, like, we helped get you the pluffle.

We are now watching the pluffle for you. Like, you can't say it's not our business. It's also here. That's what I'm saying. It's by just location, it's our business.

Don't tell her that Jimmy John is going to hump the pluffle. I just told her, Nick says it's his pluffle now. And she said, I'll share with him. All right, sure. She's probably the only one she would say that.

Yes. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. And you know it. No, it isn't. You know it. No.

No, she would share with anyone. She's just happy. She's happy to share. She would. You guys are thinking Gracie is like aligning again with Nick because she aligns, which she does, but also you're forgetting she says the same thing to anyone to ever.

That's why I'm worried she's getting raptured. Oh no. I said that's very nice. And she said, like I almost always am. Yeah, that's true. That's true. What is she not?

Like I almost always am. When she thinks I'm being mean to her. Yes. She's a mean back. She's not even mean. No. She's just not nice. No, yeah.

She's just, she like, she'll like ask a question. Yeah, or she'll go, oh, I don't know. I just, you look pissed off. Yeah. Why are you looking at me that? What are you talking about? Nope.

Everything's fine. I was just listening. I've had before where I was like, looking down and she's talking and I looked up and she was like, oh, what? And I was like, you're talking. Well, you just looked at me. I'm like, I'm looking at you because you're talking.

Like that's happened before. Like, and not in a podcast. I got a restaurant. Like, I was listening, but I'm now fully engaging with you so you don't think I'm ignoring you. I have been listening the whole time.

Yeah. But I'm now actively listening. And that cut you off. It totally derailed the, whatever discussion where you're having. Well, I don't know. You just look mad.

You just like, you looked at me and so I just like, I thought you was something to say. I thought I was in trouble. So it's 19. 78, Jimmy John. Jimmy Johns has been running the Pekin Marigold Festival medallion hunt in Pekin, Illinois. Okay.

Illinois. Is that it silent? I don't remember. It's Illinois. It's Illinois. Okay. Oh, thank God. The hunt occurs when a riddle is given and a medallion is hidden somewhere in Pekin City Park. Peckin, I don't know. I don't know. Allowing anyone who finds it to claim a $1,500 grand prize.

The only obstacle, Jimmy Craven the Hunter John. a weather by Mark 5 single whether be Mark 5 single action bolt rifle and a lust for blood make your peace with God because you may not make it home squid game style the $1,500 hunt is on That's a risk of willing to take

So risk I'm willing for Nick to take Yeah yeah they have a Nick enter it They have a website where they're bodyguard They put like this riddle out and it's like It's just so you can find a medallion in a park And get $1,500 But this should be where Jimmy John does his hunt.

Yeah. This is where it should be in. I mean, honestly, for a guy who loves hunting as this much, it sounds like something he would do to set up a human style. Yeah, thank you. Exactly. What this is is the hunties. Yeah.

Being fooled to think there's a medallion that doesn't exist. And then like the camera zooms out and then it's like hunger games. Yeah. And they don't even know. And it's crazy because they're like, well, it's just like a city park and they don't know that like he actually owns the park and it's technically like, his own country where there are no rules.

All the people are Westworld robots. Yeah. Right. Yeah. In Peking, Illinois. Every year. Dude, I've done the hunt three years in a row and every time this girl drops this can of bean.

It's fucking crazy. It rolls over to my foot. There's an old-timey candy store that's like just operating and a guy's like a soda jerk. I don't really understand what the city's all about, but I got to get that $1,500. Yeah. It's the only real people in the park. are the employees working at Jimmy Johns

making sandwiches without American cheese. I hang out with the candy shop guy long enough. He starts repeating the same thing. It's really weird cycle. They don't know. They don't know that that's home base. Because they don't know they're being hunted. They have no idea. They can't hunt.

You're out in the park talking to someone. You just see like a red dot come down right between their eyes. What's this? It's like, oh fuck. That's when the game turns on. That's when Jimmy Jee goes, I call this a number four. It's starting to sound like a Stephen King novel.

Swiss cheese. And then he looks at the camera, he goes, we don't have that. We should do some sort of like 100% eat style scavenger hunt. Like play some sort of secret medallion without the hunting the humans part. Well, I'm out. Maybe the monkey's there. So now, now going, anyway, we won't do that.

The monkey can hunt you. The monkey will, like, hide in the trees. You'll be, like, walking through. And if you hear, like, a rustle in the leaves. If you get monked, you're out. It's a jungle out there. I thought we were talking about the Tony Shalooop show. Get them.

Last fact. Munkalicious. I got it. The soda drink or whatever. I was like, what are you? he's saying right now, Mount McDonald's shake. Oh. Monkleish, what's it called?

Munkalicious? It was backwards. Couldn't read it. Mountain McDonald's is not Mungalicious backwards. Munkalicious shake. Shut up. I was like, what is, what are you saying? And he's like, whatever the thing is.

I get not knowing the name of it. It's right there and I get not knowing it. Right, you just made it up. But Mungaliyah, how is that I didn't even do with McDonald's? Munkalicious? Munkalicious. That would have made more sense. That's my whole point.

That's my whole point. I went, okay. Not knowing the name doesn't mean saying Munkalicious is a valid thing in response. You know what I mean? Oh, do you know what the sandwiches are ordering? Oh, no, I don't know.

Fuck. Hey, you got that new, like, rat shit sandwich? I don't know what it's called. I just, I just, I just came out of my mouth. I figured it had to be some letters arranged in some order. I went with my best guess. Munkalicious. Did. All right, finally, let's fucking put this turd in the ground.

Closer to God. In January of this year, Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan sued Jimmy Johns, citing the sandwich chain's use of non-compete clauses and contracts that restrict its workers can where its workers can get jobs after they leave the company. Imagine getting sued by Jimmy Johns because you got a job at subway. That's ends of time stuff. Anyone can work at subway unless it's the boss's subway. Nobody works at the boss's subway. Well, nobody works when you you're having fun you get worked over you get worked over we don't have the pretzel

let me make one for you nobody's got the pretzel you're not gonna find it hey Gracie don't go and if I find out you're looking hey Gracie found it right up the street and it's no issue and she ordered online and we can just walk in and get it yeah but this guy's talking about

like he has like cookies in the freezer and he can like heat him up really fast Fire them up. This is not cooked. Yeah, but it's also burned. Yeah. And they're still good. Yeah.

Okay. I don't know. I don't know about that. But that's all the Jimmy Jongs facts. What do you guys think of Jimmy Jons? You learn a lot? Really, nothing. What do you mean?

What about the Picking? That had nothing to do with Jimmy John's. Yeah. Jimmy John frozen. A bunch of people look at the thing. Jimmy Jum puts it out. I don't care. There's nothing to do about it.

Jimmy Jones is in a casino. It is cruel. to make employees that Jimmy John sign a non-compete. Yeah, that's insane. It's a fast food sandwich shop. Also, Jimmy, one cheese. It's not much of a competition. They can't take our trade secrets strictly.

Insane. Yeah. Nuts. Jimmy John's not a place I don't think any of us go to except Nick who has the app. There you have it. I guess the thing I would eat if it showed up. I ain't never gonna go there.

You're never gonna order it. And to me, that's what this restaurant is, is that you work in an office, it shows up in a box, here's what I would do. Here's what I would do. Again, I wouldn't complain, that's, it's fucking free food that someone got or whatever, da-da-da-da, like, I'm gonna eat a fucking little sandwich.

Yeah, my first thought would be though, you went with Jimmy Johns? Yeah. Like, I'm just thinking about the reason, like, you could have done this with another sub shop. Like, I'm not complaining for me, I'm just going, who is the person that what you're describing is correct.

Oh, it's at an office or whatever, but it's like, but someone made that decision. Who went, Jimmy Johnson? For everyone. At least do... They're gonna love it. At least do Firehouse subs. At least goes to firemen at that point.

Get that shit hose going to be. I just can't imagine being Jimmy Johns is your choice to bring subs to an office or something. They delivered before Uber Eats existed. Is that right? Okay. That's a reasonable thing. That makes a lot of sense then. But the other thing that I had going for me too is growing up all these, like pizza places I went through.

They were all local. It was like pizza, sometimes Italian, but pizza sandwich, da-da-da-da. They all delivered, too. So I also grew up being able to deliver a sandwich. Yeah, it's not like Uber Eats invented delivery of the restaurant. But I'm saying like fast food places like that don't really deliver. Right. So I get that being a reason why people in Austin would use it, like, and they're open real late.

Like, oh, you can get a sandwich like one. I'm like, right, right, right. I grew up my whole life being able to do that. Yeah. So getting it now at this one shitty sandwich place doesn't mean anything. Exactly. I don't care. Exactly.

I would rather drive to a better place. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy Jones just isn't it. I just don't know anyone who is also, like, a Jimmy Johns fan. I know a lot of people who really like... It's like this pizza sandwich, you know?

I just know, I know a lot of people who like Jersey Mike. Like, Jimmy Johns, and I can't wrap my head around. I just don't know who any... I don't know anyone personally who does, but I don't know. Jordan, teach us about what we ate. The toasted Sicilian pizza sandwich, layer salami, capacolo, and ham with gooey mozzarella mariner and a sprinkle of oregano basil for authentic Sicilian-inspired flavor. Now, the toasted three

cheese pizza sandwich is a dream for cheese lovers. Loaded with mozzarella, provolone, and parmesan finished with marinera and oregano basil. This sandwich marks the first vegetarian option on the toasted sandwich platform. Oh, okay. On toasted.

That's, yeah, not at Jimmy Chon's. Did you, but, you know, it was a real, a real milestone for them in the toasted sandwich platform. Yeah, it's an ecosystem, dude. Nothing. It's an ecosystem. Nothing was in the sandwich.

It's true. All of the cheese was out of my, I took a bite and I went, there's no cheese here. And I opened it and there was no cheese inside of my sandwich. It was just sauce and bread and cheese all around the outside. I don't know how it happened. I don't understand what the fuck how is that the sandwich

yours was vegan it's fucking terrible it's true maybe they put something in the bread and by the time we got it I don't think it looked good when it started

but it's like it was like it looked like like refrigerator plastic cheese yes it had really like it can come together it looks like cheese you take out of a wrapper

which should also not be coming from a sub shop yep that's the best goddamn cheese you know Watch them slice it. Supposed to be. You watch them slice it.

That's Jersey Mike. That's the other thing that blew my mind. And maybe it's just like my generation. Because like when I moved here, meeting a bunch of people of my age shopping and shit, that people would just buy packaged cheese at the grocery store. Oh yeah. And I'm like,

you fucking you fucking singles? What the fuck is wrong with you? And they're like, what? I'm like, go to the fucking deck. You go to the deli counter. Because it's like, I'm not saying like, go to the local debt. The delis right there.

They all just in the grocery store. Like people like our age like, they just, maybe our age. younger into 20s. That was like a foreign thing. Like, I gotta go talk to someone. I didn't have to talk to someone or whatever.

I never did it all growing up. You're buying shit crap ass and like the best fucking most delicious. And they'll give you a piece for free to. Yeah. Yeah. You can't try that. Yeah. It's the best.

And you can, if you use like H.E.B. delivery. Yep. You can just get stuff from the deli. You set like the way that you want. And that's the thing they have now because they still have the other disgusting package cheese. Yeah.

But usually, like, right in front of the deli, they'll be, like, one of those giant bins in the middle of the floor, like not in an aisle. And it's a fuck ton of cheese they've already sliced and packaged and put out. But it's the fresh cheese. And then they also have, like, the cheese. Because probably, like, I just said, people are too scared to ask. Sometimes they have a cheese monger who's like,

would you like to try cheese? Yes, yeah. Sample the cheese. Yeah, Nick always wants it. I spent so much time in a fucking supermarket holding this stupid ticket. Just waiting. Like, my mother's like, you stay in here and I'm going to go keep shopping. I want, you get two pounds.

Putting you to work. pounds of Capacola, whatever. It's the right way to do it, though. It is. Because, like, you know, that takes a long time. And it's way cheaper that way, too. And it's better than pack. It's better.

It's true. The cheapest, the cheapest brand cheese. I don't even give a fuck about getting into brands. There's really not that many. The Boar's Head. Boar's head's great. But there's no thing. I go, I'm buying because the brand.

Yeah. H.E.B. Cheese, which is like, you know, there's cheese they sell. It's so fucking unbelievably better than anything packaged. And it's the cheapest cheese you can get it. deli. I think it's cheaper. Yeah. It's great. It's like you're in the same store. I had no idea. Just didn't even know that was like a thing. I mean, I grew up in San Diego. It's not really a sub-place. Not a lot of delicatessence.

Not a time. That's what deli stands for. Not a time. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, Lisa, 2026 X-E-90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Well, Jordan, what do they have to say in press material? Who says you have to pick between pizza and a toasted sandwich?

No one said that. Asked Kate Carpenter, Vice President of Marketing at Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's toasted pizza sandwiches give our fans the best of both worlds, are perfectly toasted french bread, zesty mariner sauce, premium toppings, like cheese, and of course, a melty mozzarella cheese pole.

No cheese pole, no cheese pole whatsoever. It's more like a cheese chunk. Yep. Well... This is a long U review, so we should probably get into it. We have our review, but we need to hear from you in a second.

We call you review. Michael, you should read the first one. Okay. Oh, great. Okay. I love when he already knows How it's going to get doled out Yeah

Let's see here I want to be spectacles here Okay Candace M Stopped here on a whim And boy am I glad I don't live by here I knew what I wanted

And told the guy And he argued about What number sandwich I wanted Dada da da Weird So I left with half of things I didn't want And left without half of the things

I actually wanted Huh Gave my sandwich to a homeless guy And went to snarfs Should have gone there In the first place Older guy and, wait, what?

That's, that, okay, okay. Should have gotten there in the first place. Older guy and treated me like dirt, dot, dot, dot. And I'm not college age or a college kid, boo. You can't treat me like dirt? I'm not one of them, these fucking idiots. I'm not a college kid. You can treat these college kids like all you want.

Older guy. Huh? Older guy and treated me like dirt. Like two knocks against them. There's two things I can't stand. I don't like older guy. I don't like treating like dirt. That's crazy, too.

But, like, she not only didn't get half of what she wanted, she got half of what she didn't want. But how can you get half of something that's zero? Hey, you know what I say to that? Can you, how can I give you half of something you don't want? Right. The thing doesn't exist because you don't want it. How can I give you half of it?

You gave it to me. Sorry, logic bomb. Don't ever get into an argument with me. Hey, boo. Boo. It also, it also didn't, it didn't drag on. It's not like boo. It's all lowercase.

period, space, lowercase, boo. B, oh, boo. No ghost, no nothing. All right, hit us for this one, Jordan. All right, this is Sage S. He saw. He saw. I went to a landfill once with my father.

One thing I remember was the birds. There was a massive flock of birds that circled the garbage. Birds would descend, gather a piece of garbage, and then return to the flock. circling above. I remember being horrified that the birds were eating

society's refuse. I will never eat Jimmy Jones again. Fuck. Fuck off. Read it to your creative writing class. The last time

I ate a sandwich from this place, it literally induced a gag reflex. Before this experience, I had eaten Jimmy Johns a handful of times.

Also, it started out really good with punctuation and stuff. It's falling apart. He can only keep it up for so long. It was very close to campus and was cheap. I actually had a positive experience here, colon.

They had a special event where they offered $1 sandwiches. To pay $1 for a sandwich, felt good. No matter how subpar the food was. Oh, it felt so good. That was when I thought this place was just another subway. How foolish of me. This place doesn't hold a candle to Subway. Okay, no.

The business model of Jimmy Johns doesn't allow for as much customer choice. Subway. Why? It's because they think their recipes for sandwiches are better than what you can create yourself. You know, at any respectable, there's still so much left. At any respectable restaurant, that would be fine. In fact, any respectable restaurant could actually pull off a Jimmy John's recipe better than Jimmy John's. After all, how bad can a turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, onions, cheese, and avocado be? Pretty horrible. Evidently, I ordered such a sandwich on French bread. Fine.

As long as the food satisfied my hunger. It was immediately after the forced second bite when my mouth convulsed. Who's forcing you? What are you talking about? I think one of the birds

is making him do it? Gunpoint in the distance Jimmy John had his rifle trained on me. The bread was soggy. The turkey and cheese tasted dry and old. The onions and tomato

were slimy and warm. Disgusting. Was I a jerk on the phone or something? I disappointedly cast the sandwich into the trash. Perhaps a landfill bird ate it. I hope for its sake that it knew better. He brought it. What I like about it is that he brought it all back around.

Hey, hey, remember the landfill from the beginning of my essay? We all thought it didn't have a point. We didn't. Everything makes sense. It turns out it really didn't have a point. No, dude, next time we're like, next time we know in this, we watch this movie. We're going to know from the beginning that it's all about. the birds. And that's what he said. Yeah, when he says Rosebud, we'll know exactly what he's talking

about. The, uh, you know that he wrote that and then told so many people about what he wrote and then made them read it and they went, yeah, and saw how fucking long it was. Do you think he wrote like five different copies and then given different people and then just decided to combine them all and put them in one post? Hey, I'm going to talk about these landfill birds. You read that. Uh, let me get through this real quick. This is from, Phosphorescent L Fosferescent Cool name

Three stars? More like one star I ordered my sandwich 40 minutes ago And your slogan is freaky fresh And freaky fast That's a lie Freak y'all

Tell them Phosphorescent L Freak off Now I have to ask At the beginning of that They say three stars Why? Like is that their average rating

No it was lower three stars. Maybe at the time it wasn't. Maybe. He drug it down. Hey, freak y'all. Three stars? Who's talking? That's a lie! Who's talking about that? Who brought that up? You just did. What are you saying? Yeah. What? I went to a landfill

with my father once. Give me my white phosphorus. My white phosphorescent. This is not all of the reviews that I found. There was a longer review. It was longer than the sage-ass one. That's okay. That, like,

I could not get to fit on this page but wasn't good enough to warrant another page. It was just like this one is the creative writing class stuff that I cannot get enough of. Jordan can. I do like how in the middle

they really just gave up. It was almost like someone like their smarter friend wrote like the intro for them and they were like, ghost writer. Yeah. Okay, now I'm going to do my review.

I got it all. Yeah. I ordered such a sandwich. Okay. first of all you gagged on it yeah I mean did you chew is this like a not chewing thing and he took it and he went it was weird because he held it like this

and he started going right I don't like when you say I gagged on the sandwich I assume it's because you're choking not like it's repulsively gagging it's not that bad he said gag reflex right that so how far you shoved the sandwich out of me because like everything I've said about Jimmy Johnson

and shitting all over this entire time is not gag worthy for right no it's just like yeah it's just like it's not it's so how are you gagging and then almost right after that my fourth second bite you're gagging in his fort what are you talking about I think his dad was there with him and grab him by the back

of the shirt and he's like take another one fucking eat it go don't tell me about the fucking birds I don't care about the fucking birds those birds will haunt me I was my boy's not gonna have tassels on his bike I'm taking it to the dump but that they're black with white skull and crossbones

tassels are tassels son we're taking you to Jimmy Johns to get you provolone cheese and learn how to kill and then we're going to the park there's a scavenger hole only what he tells his wife only one of us will come home this is where the boy becomes a man

you can join the scavenger hunt or you can be the scavenger hunt decide shove that pizza sandwich down your throat they're the last two it's like the hunger games it's like one of us has to die they walk into the park and he's his armorice son there are boys there are men and there are

monsters today you become a monster and he fucking puts like mud on his face do do do do do do oh fuck hands of a gun get in there no one's taking home that $1,500 either either Jimmy John

is or you are. Last man standing, Jimmy John and my son. See, like that, so I'm going back right there. If I had like two lines from you guys or somewhere to start with that, I could have done that for 10 minutes on a stand-up riff. There you go. But that's not

a joke. No. Yeah. Right. I need the joke to get my foot in and then I can just do that. People will eat it up. You riff it and go. I got to write like four words first. Yep. Well, those are... And then the rest is just like vamp vamp vamp I just I don't have to write shit

it's on every card but it's it's not vamping to me though right that's where I live Eryffin people think vamping's like oh no nothing's going on

what do I do I go oh excellent nothing's going on my time to shine yeah time for me to make my one remember fuck I don't know if you were there it was like

two RTXs ago or some shit when they were doing the shows at the fuck the lounge where we It was like the stand-up thing? The sunset room. Yeah. The sunset room.

It was a stand-up thing, but I don't think they were even doing it at that time. But Lindsay was going on soon as Ruby, and they were doing like the V-tubing thing or whatever. And so it hadn't started yet. I was there, but I was leaving. And like right before it started, I just got up and I walked onto the stage. And there was a microphone that wasn't on, but it's a small venue. And I go, I was just like, hey, Michael from Roostee, it's like, oh, it must be starting, but like none of the equipment's on. and I go, I've actually

never done stand-up in my life before and I'm still not. And then I walked off. And I went out into the green room and just walked out of the building and left. Everyone's attention. That's my time. I'll see you later, guys.

That was not my time. Bye. Didn't start. Somebody else's. It's the closest thing I've ever done to stand-up. It's pretty good. Well, those are your reviews, but we have our own reviews

of Jimmy John's toasted pizza sandwiches. There's a reason we haven't talked much about this food. on this episode. Jordan, what do you think? Pretty bad. Yeah, I gotta be honest. It's pretty shit.

Uninspired, poorly executed. No cheese on half of them. Yeah. Ham on the pizza sandwich. I don't really even understand that. Yeah. With ham and salami, it's more like you're going Italian.

Yes. Like Italian sandwich. It's not pizza. Don't make any sense. Like they didn't do pepperoni. Do salami and pepperoni. Right. That's what you do.

Or like make it supreme or like some other pizza. I mean, the basic. I'll go back. to like fucking American cheese and provolone. You're doing pizza sandwiches, you do a fucking cheese one, and then you do a pepperoni one. It's that simple. Their mariner sauce is also not great.

It was like, even bad. When it's only that and the cheese or only that. Only that. And the cheese sucked. The cheese was like, you bit into it and like, it didn't pull, it didn't like, no. It was like you, in a very

unsatisfying way, you chewed it. It was the least. It was the least. Satisfly and cheese. Well, I kept telling him, take a second bite. Yeah, I was watching the birds. Tell me about the bird's son. Put his getting back in my head. I want to tend the bird.

Yeah, there's really not much to say about it. It's just like a slop pizza sandwich. The one with the deli meats was better, but like not by much. I mean, just that it was really, it was better because of that. Yeah, at least I had something to bite into. It didn't really make sense as a total recipe. Yeah. I don't know, fucking, like, 33%.

Like, not good. Yeah. I don't hate it that much. Again, it's so bland. It's so whatever. Yeah. It's not repulsive. It's not gross.

It's just why the fuck would you, why would you get this? Why did they do it? Why would you go to Jimmy Johns? And why would you get this? I thought it was pretty gross. And that's fair. That's the contrast we have here, Jordan.

So I'm giving it like this rating just because it's like, it's whatever. I would eat it if I had no food and someone said, you want this? I wouldn't go order or pay for it. Right. 48. Okay. It seems like I could have 50 to it.

Yeah. But I don't want to be too contrasting. 40. 40. Just the fact that like I'm also giving it lower than that just because I'm sure the last one got 66.5. I probably rated it higher than Jordan. Yeah. Yeah.

But that score you probably do. And but like and that means it was like, I liked it because I like salami or whatever. It definitely wasn't that good. Like not remembering this sandwich at all. I know how I would have judged. this, what we ate today. That one had like balsamic vinegar on it, right? That's under 50. I believe it did. It had like the pesto

and the balsamic and stuff and it just kind of like, that that I remember a little bit. I mostly remember like Gracie getting the pluffle and getting it, putting it like on the table because it was a video episode and a video episode where we filmed the table. It was the table top down. That was the most fun way to do it.

Yep. Yep. But that's our review. Frankly, we should go back to it. Yeah. Well no, now benefits us. Yeah, exactly. Jimmy John's too said, yeah, there was I don't know if people really understand the reason that like we do this and everything. It's we're trying to cast the light of snet and get all the attention or whatever. When we were doing this at Rooster Teeth, there's a reason we were doing it every other week.

Like nothing that we were doing as Face Jam was meant to succeed. But it succeeded because it was fun and we like doing it. It was fun and it was simple and like the shit we did have to do. It's like, okay, whatever. Like outside of our control. It just was like, why you know do video? It's like, well, if you recall, sir, the whole reason this fucking show exists is because you guys wanted audits. audio only podcast to cut down on like the production and the expense and da da da da and uh and like some

of those podcasts continued like ours and then some fell away and then it just at some point turned right back into like anyway let's slap a video on it yep and we were like no i like not having yes like it was it was a thing i pushed back against because there's no benefit to it if there's not that much of a disadvantage but there's also no advantage no and it's like such a stupid thing to give up that i like that it was different and you couldn't see us because you can see me and fucking everything ever at that company and I was like oh it's like they can't see us

I like the radio show vibe of it like is what I kept saying from early on with Nick and it's just like I'm it's not just like I'm gonna perform if there's a camera it's just like what you don't you don't fucking need it it's different it's just different so anyway I went oh we have to have one now we push back for a little bit and then like no you gotta make a video feed for first

or whatever it was and I was like bro we should use the Zoom the PTZ or whatever it was on the table and they can't see shit and maybe the food Maybe our legs a little bit. Yeah. That's funny. Yep.

Video podcast. We all laughed and just did that. And then we did it. That's why it was like that. And then right at the end and then now. That's why it was never an actual video. We stopped doing it here because now we need. Well, it makes sense.

And it's our goddamn decision and company and there's a reason we're doing it. Uh-huh. And that was not that. It was just, I want click button. You do video now. Yep. That's absolutely what it was. Well, if you like this, there's more coming at you.

Patreon.com slash 100%. What do you mean? I thought we were done. No, the Michael Jordan podcast is still to come. Oh, I'm at the company. You can subscribe, no, no, no. You got, you guys, we were said, you said we were getting all the 401K money.

No, that's next time. Close. Oh, that hit the lip. That was, you got really good shot. That's pretty crazy. I need to cancel that meeting. Yeah, is it guy. Because we're getting raptured.

What's the point? Yeah, there was the point. I want to take my investments with me. That's the point. Patreon.com slash 100% is where you can sign up now. Get the ad-free version of this show. If you don't want to listen to ads, it's very easy to set up.

You just, you go. gives you a link, you put it into wherever you listen to podcast and it's, that's it. Did people like that ad that we put in the middle that we recorded in the middle of the crow? Did that come out yet? Yeah. What episode was that in? Two or three episodes ago?

I don't remember. What, whatever the one, the one, okay. Whatever it was that after. It was good. I mean, yeah, it was people going like, oh, hell yeah, crow mode. Like, it was like those kind of comments.

I just, I think I forgot to, because we were filming so far ahead. Yeah. I just forgot to like see where that landed. Yeah. You can go to 100% eat. store to grab a new hat. We have a couple of shirts. Get the Pizza Reaper hoodie. If you want a hat, it's the

100% eat on the front and then on the back it's boom, Pizza Reaper, crazy. But you want to get that hat surgically attach it to your head Michael's style. Also get the hat because they're almost out of stock. Yes, they're almost I assume restocked them. I hope yeah, hopefully. I mean, don't say hopefully. Let's just restock them. Fingers crossed. If they sell out

we'll see. Restock them. Maybe. It's crazy that he is so hesitant but we will restock them for sure. But they are almost out of this run. So if you want to how it, I would buy it. There's probably like, what, 30 left or something? Like, it's a low number. Yeah. And then you go to streamly.com slash 100-present-d-eat for signed prints.

We don't go to conventions. We don't do this stuff. So that's the way to get that stuff. Yeah, but don't buy our shit. Buy mine and Gavin's. That's this week. Fuck. This isn't me out. Yeah. Damn it. Uh, you follow us at 100% eat on Twitter, Instagram. I tried. And blue sky to stay up to date on everything. And if you want to send stuff to 100% treat or to Gracie, I guess. P.O. Box 1432.41, Austin, Texas, 7-8, 7-7. That's P.O. Box 143241. Austin, Texas, 78714. Jordan, do we have a 100% fan this week? We do. Cool. You can sign up to become a 100% fan and get your message read, your shout out, or you're hammering Jordan. What you got?

Yeah, they would never. This is a special message from Ron to Graham. Okay. I assume it's pronounced Graham. Ron didn't use the, uh, uh, he didn't use the form correctly. And so, in the what is your name part he put Graham in the how do you pronounce your name part he put Ron that's a weird way to pronounce Graham and then and then wrote a message

I have water in here yeah that's why he's doing it I want to drink the water threatening you no so the message to Graham reads happy birthday Coke can Graham we hope that one day you figure out

what space is oatmeal raisin is the inferior your cookie. This I agree with. Chocolate chip gang rise up. We love you. I like oatmeal. We love you anyways, Ron, from the stone cutters. P.S. can't believe all the things you say about Eric.

What the fuck? I assume they're very good things. That's why he can't believe it. That was a very nice message to Ron to Graham. It was too gram from Ron. It was too gram from Ron. I see. Or Graham is pronounced Ron. Right. Why do you think they call him

Coke can Graham? I don't know. Maybe he You think he's got like a, like a, you think he's packed, you think he's packing like a Coke can down there? Like, like his dick? Mm-hmm. You think it's like a fucking Coke can? Dude, fucking pop it open. Oh.

Let's see if, let's see it fizz. Crack, crack a, crack a can. Whoa, make sure you shake gram first. Oh no. It's spraying everywhere. That's probably what they meant, right? We can only assume. Patreon.com slash 100% eat. You can become a 100%

fan and get your own big dick friend shout out right here on this show great stuff. You brag about how big guys you got to find Coke can't grain bro. Did you only cost $100 to like talk about my dick? What? No. What do you talk about? Yeah, they just kept

talking about my dick. They said it's fucking they said it's like a fucking Coke tank. What did you say to them? Oh my God. They told people like shake it up Crack? Yeah, they're like popping a top. I don't know what's going on. They wanted my fizz.

They said they like vanilla better? Does subscribe, tell a friend about the show where eat food and wait the food. Okay. All right. And read big dick messages. Okay, I'm getting raptured. Bye. Oh no! He's going down. Perfect.

That was a perfect throw. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. He didn't make it I'm going up for some reason Bro, no one in this fucking house is getting raptured, okay?

Let's all just put that to bed Now I'm looking right at you, motherfucker I'm three, eight two, one