100% Eat - Graysie Eats 7 Fortune Cookies - Ride Along PF Chang's

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Graysie really eats 7 fortune cookies and will become a doctor. Crumbs everywhere. We've got an axe to grind. Did you smoke something? Listen to Graysie open these zots. Is this doing ASMR? Nick hates it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Conditions apply. Ends December 15th. Rate is annual, calculated daily, and will vary based on account balance. Visit scotiabank.com slash right-sized savings for full details. Am I people? Do people like rolling? There are everyone. Hello, I'm trying to get my seatbelt on. There are everyone to us. A little crammed back here because we got Gracie in the front. Hi Gracie. Hi. Sorry. I didn't know we'd start. Sorry, she was reading all of her fine fortunes.

Were you looking up what your fortune meant? Where'd they go, hang on. I can present them to the group. Sure, why not? Present them. Wait, there's a new card. I don't know, I haven't heard them all yet. Look at them.

It's like someone going to my lottery ticket set. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, did you lose one? That one won't be true now. My spatula. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. It was one about me becoming a doctor that I almost lost. Oh no.

Okay. That's the most important one. Nothing mentioned you becoming a doctor. Just like that. I'm a doctor? That was you. I'm gonna receive a surprising gift very soon. Okay.

I.E. today. Probably after six. She's scheduled it. Soon my unique talents will be recognized. That's where you decided you're a doctor. Yeah, she's gonna be a doctor there. A surprising new offer will soon be presented to me from the hospital that I will work at.

Okay. Okay, your residence. A courageous act will propel me into my doctorhood when I save a person from choking at the sauna. And a new creative project will lead to great wealth. If you think about it, being a doctor is kind of creative. And wealthy. You know, if you think about it.

If you think about it, stupid. Think nice and hard. And one more. I just took one more for you. Oh, frick. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Shut up! Do you need me to shut up again? Do you need me to shut up? You dropped it. No! It flew out. It flew out. It flew out. Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Shut up! Do you need me to shut the door? Do you need me to clean it? You drop it. No! It flew out. It flew out.

It flew out. Do you want me to open it out of the window so I don't get crumbs in here? I don't give a shit. When it cracks? It's fine. Open it up where it cracks. Have you seen the outside of this car?

Dude, I'm like, oh, the rain'll clean it. Okay. What the fuck? It's not how that works. No kidding. Everyone listen up. Crumbs everywhere, by the way. A challenge will, ah!

A challenge will bring forth my finest abilities. When a man chokes, he better think. Oh my God, that's crazy. Here's a challenge. I got another one for you. Yeah. You said you wanted 20. How many more did you have?

I just took two more. Okay. The other two are for my children. Can I finish this one first? You can't have them. You know what I'm saying? In fact, you have to finish it first. Yeah, you have to finish it or else the next fortune doesn't count.

My wife says the same thing. You have to eat the cookie for it to come true. Mine are for sure coming true. Oh, it's never my first one. Because I dropped it in the sauce. You're never going to become a doctor. They were all built to fall in love. The chain is broken.

Wait, no. How could you do this to yourself? No, my first one was what? No. It was the one about creative projects. Yep. Oh, okay. Doctors aren't creative.

Oh, were you thinking about it? Don't think about it. Don't think about it. They're like, doctors, so we're doing a buy the book heart surgery. And you go, I think I'm gonna do a little different. I'm thinking about freewheeling the heart surgery. I think I'm about to rewrite the book Heart Surgery and you go, I think I'm gonna do a little different today. I'm thinking about freewheeling the Heart Surgery. Yeah, I might do it.

I think I'm about to rewrite the book on this. Hey Doc, go with your gut. Severus like. I'm still on track to be a doctor. Yeah. Oh good. Are you back on the? You could be on track to run Medicare. Yeah.

I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna. You're not gonna be on the park. You said that in the restaurant. Yeah, and Jordan went, no. Jordan fell a bow. I did think I put my head in my hand. Oh, Dr. Oz.

Why? I saw him on the TV. Oh, cool. All right, here we go, Gracie. Your seventh fortune. Who's looking at me? An optimistic outlook will take you far in the coming month. That is not a fortune.

Wow. That's a fortune. It is. That's the worst one you've got. That's the stick with your light. Yeah, that doesn't give me any gold. It's a rewardier. Did you write for that episode?

Yeah, when I was 10. Yeah. That's impressive. Right? Where's my money? You should have been a doctor. Oh man. Or at least-

The most creative ventures. Or at least Conan O'Brien. Yeah. Conan O'Brien could be a doctor. Oh man. The most creative ventures. Or at least Conan O'Brien. Conan O'Brien could be a doctor. Oh yeah. Yeah, Conan could. Yeah. I would trust Conan. And he would do really funny segments about it.

He would do so many funny segments. Oh, Conan needs a nurse. Oh, that's pretty good. Jordan Szlanski would be his nurse. They were getting so many arguments right as I were getting knocked out with anesthesia What do you mean? They're arguing about like Italy or yeah, it's not in the Scotty. It's a Scott toe You're like you're laughing and you like you're just You know, honestly what a great last thought to have because you'll probably you don't die

I love this episode. Oh Traffic it's uh Yeah, you won't remember it anyways. I love this episode. Oh hell. Speaking of love in this episode. Oh traffic. Hello. It's because the roads aren't straight. They have slight bends. So everyone. Everyone freaks out. Yeah, everyone jams on the brakes.

If Conan's my doctor, I want Matt Gourley to be there too. Whoa. I think Sona needs to be there to keep him straight. He sets a better producer than you. Whoa. What the fuck? How are you feeling about Conan O'Brien as a friend? How do you feel?

How do you feel? I think Eric needs a friend now. I feel pessimistic about it. But why? The Magrulli show with mall walkers or mall walk-in or whatever, I think that's cool. He has a fun time walking in the mall with friends and he went, time to monetize this.

I gotta find a way to make money off this. Yep, and he did. And he fucking did. Who walks the mall anymore? Matt Gourley and Jeff Ramsey. He walks the mall. He does say the mall is back, right? Jeff loves the mall.

It's like how Eric keeps saying that Wendy's is down. He goes to Martin Luther King Mall just like John? Oh yeah, he'll, he keeps pitching us ideas. He's like, here's what we can do at the mall. That actually adds up because he wanted to do the red boots at the mall. And he wants to do more stuff at the mall. Now we're gonna do,

Nick's gonna wear big blasting boots at the mall. I can't hear you, my mic's not working. Has that happened yet? No. I turned those on. We'll let you know. Okay. You can come.

Rent a space in the mall. Oh, that was a good one. I'm sure there's plenty of availability. Did we talk about that before we started doing all this? There's a podcast, I'd seen TikToks about it or whatever. It's like a podcast or some show or whatever. They just rent a space in the mall. And then where it's like the big bay window, that's like their set.

Oh, I love that. And so the backdrop is the mall. Oh. And it's like- Can people come in and shop? No, there's no store inside their business. Right, but can they walk in and go, what is this business?

What is this? Yeah, what are you? Oh, this is podcast? I'd like to buy one. What mall? Oh, this is like, I'm sure it's in like Virginia. Mall of America. Mall of America. Mall of America. That's interesting. They got what mall? Oh, this is like it's I'm sure it's in like They got Dairy Queen out in this podcast in yeah

They have a radio station in the middle of town that is like totally visible from all sides like it's all windows So you can just go and like watch the the jocks That sounds terrible that sucks Yeah, if you've ever really on display if you've ever looked at radio DJs, that sucks. Well, they have to get a little more dressed than sweats and whatever else. But then how are they supposed to drink one whole bottle of whiskey during their morning show?

I mean, with everyone watching, that's how. There is a way to disguise it. Talk about it. What are you talking about? Don't disguise it, be your true self. Yeah, drink. They got a face for radio. Yeah.

That happened when I worked in radio, one of the morning shows was guys who did that. Oh yeah. And I was like, wow, that's crazy. And they're like, that's every morning show. I didn't know that. They all drink, fucking nuts. I used to listen to, on my way to school,

Kid Craddock in the morning. Oh, Kid Craddock. Yeah. Classic. I used to listen to, on my way to school, Kid Craddick in the morning. Oh, Kid Craddick. Yeah. Kid Craddick. Classy. I remember that, man. Now you're speaking Nick's language. Yeah.

Kid Craddick? He used to shop at Pure One. Yeah. Oh, man. He came into Hollister. They're closed now. Is that where you worked? Which one?

The one you just said. Oh, I don't remember. What? No, he worked at Puckety. It, I don't remember. What? He worked at Wicked Cheese. He keeps saying Hollister. I was trying to drop hints for Gracie. I figured it out in the restaurant.

Well, I didn't figure it out when he told me. I figured it out after he told me. Eduardo. Did he make fun of Eduardo? I figured it out because he told me. That's great. What are you talking about? I totally agree.

What? I'm doing the slogan, what is it? Just forget. Just forgetful. Oh shit. You know that is my bad. Hey, that's how you raise it. Whoa. Nick, free pass for you.

This episode is brought to you by Missouri. From November 25th to December 2nd, get 25% off everything on orders over $150 in Missouri's biggest sale ever. From bold hoops to minimalist stacks, Missouri has something for everyone. Missouri makes handcrafted fine jewelry for every day made with responsibly sourced materials.

So you can look and feel good about gifting and wearing them. Shop your wishlist 25% off at majurie.com today. You've always wanted to be part of something bigger than yourself. You live for experience and lead by example. You want the most out of life and realize what you're looking for is already in you. This is for you. The Canadian Armed Forces. A message from the government of Canada. We notice that Nick keeps saying that's on me every time he fucks up. Or just does something that only he does.

And I'll go, no shit. Wait, that's me. Yeah, yeah, that's on me. Yeah, it wouldn't be on anyone else. You know what else is on you? You forgot to steal all those sauce bottles. You know what else is on Nick? The fucking vote that y'all blamed me for.

Yeah! Oh, we all know that's Nick. Now, it was not me, I swear. It was not me. Yeah, it was me. Unless I had a lucid. Oh, here we go. I love that. Here we go.

There's no way it was me. Here are all the ways it could have been me. Officer, officer, I blacked out. I woke up and he was dead and the gun was there, but I didn't do it, I don't think. And that's why Matt Gaetz is the attorney general. God. He's gonna lock you up, throw away the key. Uh-oh. Mm don't think that's why Matt Gates is the attorney God he's gonna lock you up throw away the key. Oh, he's gonna he's got an accident That's judge dread to you

Dr. Oz and Matt Gates are gonna set us straight. And RFK. Yeah, oh that's right. Don't forget about him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have to say junior at this point? Don't you know who you're talking about? Yeah, it's certainly not the one who's dead. You know what I mean? It's the one who's half dead.

Yeah, he's just got a couple more brain worms in there. Yeah. Guys, I'm just saying though, I said this last week, look, times might be tough. People might not be happy about certain things, but we have to accept the reality and put that aside. It's going to be four years of some really good content. We're going to have a new thing to talk about every single week. We thought that like before the election when we would say something and it would be dated

We thought like oh man This is a pretty crazy couple of months where this is happening four more years of saying something and it is Yeah, there yes, he just heard about dr. Oz to I liked his shirt. What did it say? Turn around, tell him you like your shirt. Turn around, turn around. It was a striped. You have a fortune cookie.

They're all gone. I got two left, they're for my kids. Give them one of yours. Mine are gone. I'll give them a fortune cookie. You ate all the fortunes? I ate all seven of my fortune cookies. You have to eat them or they won't go through.

Exactly. Honestly, I think we could have convinced Gracie that was true. Oh, you've never eaten your paper? Yeah. I've told you all the story about the bird poop, haven't I? Oh, yeah. Yes, you have.

Yeah. Did you ever figure out if that dessert was real, that you kept poking? Yeah, it was real. OK. Oh, yeah. Oh, the one. Did you compare with the dessert that we got?

Where the texture is different? No, I didn't touch the one I was eating with my bare hands. You didn't touch it? You ate it. I know, with the fork I touched it. I touched the other one with the finger. I touched it with your mouth though. Well, oh sure.

She refused to touch it with her bare hands. Yeah, I didn't manhandle it. Manhandle it? I manhandled the dessert at the hostess' desk. I consumed it without touching the dessert on my plate. Correct. I'm glad we could figure that out. You're welcome.

She just faced the plate. Yeah. She was demure about it. Demure. Ah, shit. No shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

What's happening? What is happening? Taking a picture of Vin, like the Vin of that car. I'm gonna get me. Do you think it's her car? What is that? That's a building. Let's not say what it is. I don't know what it is

But the unit number is I just wanted somebody to describe Okay, if it were if it were one of the 26 letters in the alphabet, which one would it be? Take your fortune. Wait, where's my mic? Oh Gracie don't forget your fortunes, let's go. Wait, where's my mic? Oh. Mine just fell. Oh god. Gracie, don't forget your fortunes. I have lots of things together really quickly. I have lots of things together! All my fortunes!

You're gonna hear a lot of rustling at this point. Well, no you won't, because I'm gonna edit it. I said you're gonna hear a lot of rustling, Nick. Yeah, alright, well if you're talking to me, yeah. You will fucking hear it, because you're gonna hear a lot of us You will fucking hear it because you're editing it I Wash this car rained I wash this car rained I went the rain a wash in like at least five What is what is she doing over there she she was like did I hit someone and walked over? Oh, no, I hit an Android from alien and he bled white goo likely would it have been that you?

the whole time No, don't talk into it, but do tap it and wave it around Me on track No, don't talk into it, but do tap it and wave it around. I've already done that a few times. Oh man. I think you're on track. We got- Do I turn this off now or what? No, you keep talking into it. So, Gracie, here's some snacks that we film reviews for,

but unfortunately they're chocolate. You can eat a bunch of Zots though. Are there more blue ones? I don't know. You probably ate all the blue ones. You and Nick were fucking blue ones. Blue ones are good ones. Blue was always the best. Blue and the yellow. We got a blue. We are good. You and Nick was fucking blue ones, man. Blue ones are good ones. Blue was always the best.

You got a blue. They are good. You know what else is good? Pink lemonade. Oh. It's pretty good. Nice. You gotta get one of those ones that plays music.

Hang on. I'm gonna pulse for you. It puts a little rocket on there. Oh. Because you're really blasting off. Oh, wait. So you can't hit it till it points. Wait, is it weed?

No. Oh, you said blasting off. Yeah, it was a rocket. Oh. What are you said glassing off. Yeah, it was a rabbit. What are you talking about? I thought you were, I thought that was weed. What are you talking about? You always do. Did you smoke something?

Did you smoke something? Did you smoke something? Did you smoke something? I can't get this Zot open. It's right into Nick, it's right into the microphone. I'm sorry. Where's the clip? Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. Okay, Gracie. I'm sorry. Where's the clip?

Crinkle, crinkle. Crinkle, crinkle. OK, Gracie, it's gone. Where's the clip? It's gone. We're going to end it. We're going to end it right now. No, we're not.

We have an episode to do. 345. Give me your microphone, not the piece of paper. Now crinkle it right into it. No. I want to do it. Perfect. He's got it.

No. Crinkle it right into the case. You still haven't gotten to it yet. Because it He's got it. I got it. No. Crinkle it right into the case. You're opening, you still haven't gotten to it yet. Because it's stuck in there. There you go. Oh my God. Wait. Who's watching this?

This is fascinating content. This is on audio now. Oh my God. Oh, they can't see this? No. It's both. They can. They can hear it.

But they could also choose to just hear it. Why do you, what do you think? She waved if you're listening. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Apology accepted. And now it's time to do the episode. Jordan, take us out. Goodbye.

Bye. Take me out. Take me out. Take me home. What?