100% Eat - Hot Mess of a Burger with Alix Earle %% Carl's Jr Queso Crunch Burger

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

Nifty. Woop Woop. This one is off the rails from go when Our Heroes don't get the time from Nick. You voted for this one and we're eating it. It's mushy & mushy facts. Michael thinks Alix Earle is more like Alex Earl and there's some miscommunication but it's fine because Nick is feeling the momentum and really going for it. Is this a case of branding getting people to buy this burger because we can't figure it out. Grab a shirt and wait for the switchfork at https://100percenteat.store which old merch should we bring back?Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to 100%E, the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Swiris. Jordan, how are you? What happened with the music? He did fade it out pretty early, didn't he? You're holding it up, like, we can hear it. Yeah, but you've like turned it down.

Right. I was going to come out. I heard it and then I watched him, or I heard it go away, but him still go like this. Well, he can still hear it. He can hear it. He's over there. It's closely gone. Yeah.

Yeah. And also, like, when he edits it, he's not going to do that. Like, he's not going to fade it out super early. I just, I thought he stopped it since I started talking. Listen. I did, I had the thought where it was like, he's fading out really early. Like, Michael's on, like, word of five, and he's fading it out. And I know we don't have to talk about this every time we do the podcast.

But he's always doing something new. What he was talking about? I was being good. I was going to point out he's throwing curveballs. Ready? Ready? And then it started? Just like, all but.

I was being good. I was being good and this is how we're thanked. That's crazy. I was being good and we're thanked by turning the music off. Oh, but two times. I even had the thought as the music was playing. Man, I love this song. It's so good.

I can't wait to listen to it. Where to go? Oh, man. I now have to watch the episode and listen to it again. I want to go that far. Today we're reviewing Carl's Jr. Koso Crunch, Boyga. This was another poll.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. by the bugs. It was a slop food from a slop pole. And the reason it was picked is because it was the grossest looking food and Burger King was not on the choices.

Well, yeah, originally it was. And I was like, you can take them off. As we were listing all of the stuff, one of them that I had on there was Burger King and Jordan went, look, just... It was also like drinks. It was like, yeah, it was like ice coffee or something. It was like normal, whatever.

It was the easiest decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, yeah, whatever. So then this. Caseo thing came and Gracie is very into it but Gracie's not here. Gracie was in Alex Earl. Yeah, Gracie, yeah, super indial, rest and peace, Gracie?

Okay, where's a piece, Gracie? Well, yeah. She's not here. Yeah. She's not with us anymore. Kay, so. She's not with us right now. And as we discussed last week, object permanence is a problem with someone else. Yeah, it's a big thing. Speaking of object,

I hope she comes back to life. A new permanent object here. New camera. We do have a new camera. So if you're watching this on YouTube, looks slightly different. And if you're wondering, is it a little bit tilted, probably. Yeah.

Don't worry about that. That's not the camera's fault. No, that is, that's this tripod. Boy, it's this tripod. I think it looks better. The camera looks way better. The tripod was a problem with the last camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that camera was more like balanced. Yeah, yeah. This one definitely not, less so. So give us some grace and then it'll start looking at soon. The reason. Rest and peace. Shouts out. old camera. It's around here and we will still be using it but you know.

Over here. See there. Oh, okay. It's right there. Now you're thinking we could use it for Nick. We won't. No, no, no. Nick has his thing. Nick's got the best camera. He's locked in. I do. I brought that from home. We turned to autofocus off and made it blurry. I don't think this has a focus. Yeah, I think that's about where it's at. It's that old. The reason that we got a new camera and everything is we're trying to upgrade some of like the spaces here and get some food court stuff. Is that why we did it? Yeah.

I don't even think, have you seen the food court space that we started building? I mean, I looked over there at one point. Yeah, it's at one point that way, right? Yeah. No. We did some new stuff to it, built some stuff for it or whatever.

Did we get the jail put in? Not quite, not yet, but we gotta put some bars, right? But thanks to you, that computer works and the password, the password works also. So, stupid. Thanks for the consistency. It's not.

It's inconsistent. No, it's very consistent. It's very consistent. It's like saying one and then two is inconsistent because it's a different number. It's got a theme. It comes next, dude. The theme is consistent. It is very consistent.

Unfortunately, the theme is very consistent. And I'll tell you even like that, that's like a sub theme. Yeah, that's consistent. The overall theme was, as I turned to Jordan typing the matter, go, what would annoy him is the first thing I said? And boy, you did it. If we get a third computer, I know exactly what the past is. What? We're just upgrading some stuff around the spaces or whatever, so, uh, it's exciting. We, uh, we, uh, we've been, uh, Jesus great. I'm the Samantha.

Yeah. Pardon my dust. Is that good? It's more like Stanley Tucci. It is kind of like, wait, is, is Samantha just, just? Yes. I've been, I've been saying this. Samantha and Stanley Tucci are like the same, like, cadence of like, I'm saying something. Suggestive. And you didn't go, oh, Stanley Tucci. But now it's him, like, making a sandwich. Yeah. Stanley Tucci gets a phone call. It's over.

I left my husband. Who is this? Who is this? Mm, sex. There's a sex in the city joke and make a gun too. Really? Oh, really? Man.

Damn, they're just, they're on fire. At least it's a comedy with jokes. Incredible. Wow. The only one that's come out this year? If you were to say, I'm getting a phone call. Oh. They think you're watching.

I love my husband. They think you're watching Craven. Dude. I have no. I know who this is, so I'm not going to answer. Hello? They think you're watching. Great.

Take all phone calls now. Yeah. He's in the movie theory. He's not doing anything important. Dude, I walked in a naked and broke my phone. Yeah. No calls. I have correspondence to get to.

I'm watching Craven the Hunter. Now is the time. Yeah. Let me just bust it at my laptop. I'm not doing anything important. We are, it's exciting to be able to build out like the new space. It's true.

We're finally. Finally doing it. Yes. We bought some like set decoration as well. Yep. Which is going to be fun. a new logo coming. Yep.

What? I know. A new logo? Yeah. We spent the like the $8,000? Yeah, we spent the $8,000. Does it glow like neon? We don't know yet.

A neon sign. Like neon. Why would it glow like a neon sign? Because it's a neo. It's a neo logo. So when I say a neo food. So hang on, hang on. I just want to be clear.

When I say a new logo, do you think we physically printed out the old logo? No. So what do you? I'm just referencing when you tried to get a neon. sign. Funny joke. How do you about that asshole? Dude. Put it in naked gun. Put it in the window.

Nifty. Pretty nifty. That was a nifty joke, Nick. I got this. Yeah. I got this. Yeah. Not me, him. Bad. Bad. Bad air. Thwap. Bad short bitch. Next time I'm gonna rub your nose in a poop dollar.

We're going to the gathering? Woo-whoop. Mad motherfucking. We can clown love. Oh, my God. What? What? There comes a point where, you know, you're doing it facetiously. Niftily.

Nifty. Uh-huh. But, like, some people might be like, oh, I didn't know. Eric was, uh... Woo. Mad motherfucking, we can clown a lot. Part of the posse. Family.

You like Fago? Yeah. Have you ever had Fago? Uh, yeah, I went to Detroit. Yeah. It's just like the cheapest soda, I think. They're just like, it's, I think, they're like, oh, these are all different flavors. I think it's one flavor.

and they just go, this is the red one? This is the purple one. This is the blue one. And they mix them bad together. Are you watching Craven? Correspondence. Did you get a phone call, too? No, sorry, I was watching the crow.

You got to pay attention to that. Yeah, we got to watch the pro mode. We're all over the place there at the beginning. That's fine. Are we two minutes? Are we 20 or are we an hour? How far are we? I feel like it's got to be. He started looking.

Five minutes. I watched his eyes dart all around his screen to go. I was like, if we were five minutes, I'd just leave. Oh, we got to be five minutes. I was really worried. He said nine. Given the option. I was hoping it was 35.

Okay. There you go. I'm trying to make up for lost man. It's going backwards. You can't start it at nine minutes. Don't worry about it. Yeah. He couldn't start it at.

zero minutes. I am worried. Yeah, that's true. You want him to do nine times that? Hey, what do we eat today? We already talked about. I already said that. Yeah. Say it again. I want to say that,

ignore what he's saying. Given the options that we put out there, I was really concerned that we are going to have to go back to Wendy's. Yeah, me too, but in my concern was it wasn't even anything new. It was just like, it was just like, look, it's themed. So the thing that Wendy's, the thing that Wendy's, no, no, no, the thing that Wendy's was doing for the Wednesday meal for Wednesday meal for Wednesday. Sam Adams is now streaming on Netflix? I don't know.

Yeah, I think it's out now. The, they did chicken nuggets. They didn't do anything to them. There are four mystery sauces. Right. That's going to be like, this one's barbecue. Yep. Look, we're really good at talking about like nothing.

Uh-huh. And just making more content around something that's very thin. Don't tell that. Our secrets. That's pretty thin. That's pretty. It's, it's just, there's not a lot to grasp better. But man, that's just so par for the course for Wendy's for like the last year and a half.

Sure is. Many are saying Wendy's fell off. Many, I've heard. Many are saying this. There's a guy on the roof saying, they fell off like me. Where are the files? Wendy's fell off. Okay.

Oh, good. Thank you, Mr. President. Let's get you back in and get you inside. Thank you. both sides could have been about Joe Biden that's right because Wendy's has been so bad even since even with Joe Biden in office what were the do you remember what the other options were offhand

because it was like was Waterburger was one of them I actually thought we were going to Waterburger today oh really yeah I got those two crossed I knew this slop would win yeah Michael was Michael called that shot yeah long distance yeah because we were talking about Wendy's I wasn't worried about Wendy's Wendy's not a threat

It's still got more votes than it should have Yeah I was concerned Just because it was nothing And Nick what did you vote for? I didn't vote I abstained Okay I'm just making sure You should You should go back to vote

I think I voted for Waterberger Okay Oh yeah With my own account Yeah no And we thank you Thanks for the money Yeah we appreciate it

Um Yeah Got it again You want to How could I turn this $5 into about $3 Yeah

Avicadavra What a burger Got them? Yeah, the So this was another vote from you Which if you're not, if you don't know, on our Patreon Every once in a while

We put out a new poll And we have some choices for what you can Want us to eat So you influence the show And I would say in a very minor way But it is a major thing Because God damn what a fucking drive. It's a very minor way

It is a thing you get to do. You do influence it. It's minor in a way that sometimes you present you with only one clear choice. Yes. Yeah. We know what you're going to pick. We are a little bit guiding you. You might think.

Oh my God. Are we gerrymandering? You might think that you got us, but we let you get us. Nick's trying to fly out to like Boston just to get the fuck away from us. Also, yeah, I get it. Also, in an even more minor way, if there's multiple things on the list, we will do them anyway. Yeah. Later.

True. If there's ones that we feel like should be. I kind of wanted to go. So I just want to make, I just want to, we should make, how minor your choice is. Yeah.

But still a choice. You hurried, you hurried it up because I, I will say, I don't know that we would have gotten this casso burger otherwise. Probably. Because one that Carl's Jr.

So far. Carl's Jr. is a hard one for us because they have so many things. Hard one. Soft food. Yeah. Oh my God.

There are like none in Austin. We have to drive. We've got to drive. We're going to drive. We're going to drive. We're all the time now. It's true. God damn it everywhere we go

It's like a 20 minute drive You're getting another It's crazy for another podcast Wrapped Lowepard show Yeah but here's the thing That's the most work Driving there and back to back Because that Zaxby's was really part too

And Nick doesn't even Maybe go there all the time I know it's too far Raising Keyes is right down the street Yeah it's way This fucking this fucking guy 183A It's a toll

It is a toll It is a toll And it takes the toll Make sure you got your tags coming up to 130 great you notice

you notice he didn't do that at all today well we've been there yeah he he knew how to been there stupid yeah dumbass don't make me roll this up again it's halfway there

he feels momentum come from you so he like he tries to get behind you like push the ball no no he doesn't he doesn't try

there is there are there's an outline of two hands on my back and it says place here I well welcome it. When you saw one set of footsteps in the sand, that was Nick running exactly

in your footsteps. Yeah, exactly. Right behind you. Much like, and he's, and he's, um, he's still following the momentum of that we got that we need to try. It's in the fridge downstairs. The cake was real. Turns out the cake was real. Unbelievable. See the freezer? Yeah. Okay. He said freezing corrected at the freezer. Yeah. Why is it in the fridge? Is it with those chilled glasses? It melted a little on the way. Melted a little. What melted? Reconstitusting. You know, he still won't call it. it, cream cheese. It's still frosting. You don't need to specify. I have

the white frosting. But when you asked, he just won't even give you an answer. He said, what is it? I said it's chocolate cake. And I said, no shit. What's on top? And then I said. And then you said, frosting. Does he think he's proving his point? I don't know. I don't know. I was just like, I'll quantify it's like a cream cheese.

And he was like, yeah, I think so. I don't think I know. You didn't know because you just. Get a bitch. I guess. Get a Nick. Hey, now behind you. George. Jordan Jordan's just doing it too Jordan doesn't give his shit

George is like No he cares he doesn't give a shit He cares Yeah let's just keep this thing going Yeah yeah yeah Putting you in your place Yeah I care a lot Yeah

Bitch ass place Bitch ass place Yeah you're put your place Which is the bitch ass place I'm gonna draw a line on this table I'm gonna draw a line in this table I'm gonna this is the little bitch boys section Only little bitches

here Where's your little your... your pissed yeah where's your piss cup

piss boy it's over there drink your piss it's on the wrong side of the table oh my god

that's that's designated for the pissed bitch drink that that's

sorry yeah you little bitch hey how's it don't know the bitch

section oh bitch boy fuck you yeah he's loving it

Jesus yeah fuck man I think we should actually get into the facts. It looks like a hearty facts. So, mushy food is what we went to go get. So let's read some mushy facts.

Well, first, let me just, let me point out lemon pinions. Yeah. Just in case you got any opinions about any lemons that might have occurred there. Yeah, what does that mean? Lemon. That occurred? In case there were any luck. The fuse iced tea might have been lemon.

Oh. Oh, oh, you're a sour, puss. Oh, jeez. That one didn't even get anything. No, I was thinking to say, I was gonna say, hey, drop the sour. Yeah, you're sour bitch. He didn't drop the sour, actually. He kept the sour, and he dropped the puss and replaced it with a bitch.

He pushed bitch. Now I see. Yeah, that's right. We all get it. The last Carl Jr. episode was February 4th, 2025, with the Max Axel, Double, Diablo combo. I remember hating the name of this. It was right. It was 71. Yep. Wow, we liked it.

We ended up really, because it was. Was that a like or a, it wasn't offensive? No, I think it was a like. It ended up being something that was like pretty hearty. Everything came together, had the jalapeno poppers on it. What did they do different with the meat? Yeah. Oh, there was so much stuff on that one, you couldn't taste it.

That's what I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because unfortunately, this tastes it like Burger King the whole way. Yeah. It was fucking crazy. It really made me suspect. It was like, are we at Burger King? Yeah.

Carl's Jr. King. It was really strange. Carl Jr. in an apparent throwback to its early 2000s advertising is teamed up with Alex Earle to promote this burger, but it's not the first time Earl has starred in a Carl's Jr. ad. Tell me more. Their last team up was for the Hangover Burger. Also earlier this year, Alex Earle's podcast was dumped by Alex Cooper's network after Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy podcast got signed by SiriusXM for $125 million.

Anyway, check out patreon.com slash 100%E to support us directly and really stick it to SiriusXM, who we despise unless they want to sign us, then check out Howard 100 in Ozzie's Boneyard and all the great programming on the SiriusXM app. Yeah. That's why the fact she looks meaty, by the way. Yeah. That was it. Yeah.

Somehow it was an ad for us, but then like an ad also for Sirius XM. That's only an ad for Sirius XM. If they sign us, if they don't sign us, then we, then we didn't mean that. Yeah, we actually, we actually said that to make fun of that. Yeah, then don't check out how we're one hundred. We're being nifty. At this point, should we explain it? I don't know that I can't.

Who gives a shit? We were talking about how like the camera was like, crooked, tilting on the tripod. And then Nick said it's a nifty tripod, but he said it so genuinely. Yeah. But it's causing us problems. It's not nifty. Yeah. And then he said, I was being facetious.

With the word nifty. So now, I don't think nifty is the word you can use to like. So now, so now nifty. I say let a rip. Even if I really like laid it on, it's like, yeah, it's a real nifty tripod. It just doesn't seem. Nifty's a strange word to use. Yeah, it seems right.

Here's how I would use it if it was leaning a tripod. It's pretty nifty. Okay, okay. I get a cadence there. Yeah. But also, nifty is not a word I think you would pick. I would pick it only in a scenario where it would make the least sense.

But what's great now is that we can say the word nifty. Now we got it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So, we can also say, hey, you're well, I was just, a little puss bitch. Yeah. Hey, drop the bitch. Drop the sour.

Yeah, it's a little sour bitch. Habits are hard to break, dude. It's tough. All right. Nick's President Trump is building a 90,000 square foot ballroom in the east wing of the White House paid for by private donors. The decision to use private donations has drawn scrutiny as one representative question whether the White House could become, quote, sponsored by Carl's Jr.

And called for congressional oversight. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer echoed concerns remarking, quote, I don't need a $200 million ballroom to eat my cheeseburger. We're fucking doomed, dude. Chuck Schumer is the fucking lameest man alive. The fucking, like, what are you talking about? The fucking, you know, like, Schumer's humor?

I drooled on myself. Oh, we did a little Schumer here. Sorry, I was being Schumer. Yeah. Just like, oh, just like any other member of Congress. Like, feed me my soft burger. Schumer humor is definitely calling something nifty and not meaning it.

Yeah. That's some Schumer humor. That is some Schumer humor. God, I don't need a $200 million dollar ballroom to eat my cheeseburger. I can need it to mine in a $150 million in his actual probably $150 million ballroom. And just don't get like the layups of like the man is in Congress. Congress controls what happens to the White House, which they control.

Right. And then they're like he can't do this. Right. Unfortunately like what you're saying is like this is an easy layup. When Chuck Schumer was a child, layups had not been invented yet in back. basketball. They were all just pulling up for two. So he doesn't know. He had a granny shoot it.

Yeah, he wasn't, he, and that's what he's doing. Schumer humor is granny shooting the ball and going, I don't need a $200 million ball. Jump off a bridge. Yeah. Jump off a bridge. Or rooftop. We're not talking about the cheeseburgers. Chuck. Chuck fucking Schumer. Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser stage and the new Roger Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online eat tickets. fairs. A $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday

anywhere along the Go Network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online go pass ahead of the show at go-transit.com slash tickets. All right, next. On July 17th, Carl's Jr. offered 84-cent hamburgers to celebrate their 84th birthday. Oh. On August 3rd, former Carl's Jr. CEO and lifelong loser, Andrew Putter, was confirmed to be

the ambassador of the EU. Oh, brother. He just has a section in his Wikipedia entitled, Unsuccessful Nominations to the Cabinet of the United States. What a dork bitch. Do you remember talking about this guy? No. Like, at... I remember his name. Through our...

Putzer. Through our, like, tenure here of Face Jam and 100% eat. He is a guy who keeps coming up as a repeated fucking loser. Yeah. Like he was got... He can't get confirmed for anything. He was going to be like the labor secretary and they went to confirm him and they just

went, no. This guy doesn't know a damn thing about labor. And he just went... And that's a tall order when Sean Duffy is the, is both the head of NASA and the transportation department. So now he is the ambassador to the EU. That just happened. His favorite country.

Absolutely. He knows everything about the great nation. Probably said, well, well, very curious, maybe something happened in the last fact. Probably not. We'll find out. We don't talk about this a little bit more? Oh, you'll see. Right now.

Because he's going to read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. You'll see. All right. In April of this year, Carl's Jr. opened its first UK location with another set to open in September. Do you think this is anything to do with this has anything to do with Andrew Puzzter being confirmed at EU ambassador? A Masterstroke, Mr. Puzzter, brilliantly played both sides.

That's right. So I said it's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I, but also the UK's not in the EU. Exactly. Right. It's his favorite.

Yeah. Yeah. He started, he started wheeling and dealing in the UK going, hey, get some Carl's Jr. over there. I'm about to, I'm about to take over the EU, dude. And then you've seen those teeth? They'll gum up the soft food. This fucking.

This guy, I love that you can scroll on his Wikipedia. you can go to unsuccessful nominees or whatever, there's like less than 50, and he's one of them. That's it? Yeah, yeah. Damn. Yeah, he's a lifelong loser. I mean, usually people get confirmed pretty easily because they're already pretty qualified.

Exactly. Right, but what if the guy who ran Carl's Jr., who said, Paraseltin, ride around on this car? But what about Hardee's? Good call. They wanted the Hardee's guy. Good call. Did you know that they moved the headquarters of Carl's Jr.

from California to Tennessee? this happened like in and out did this happened like a few years ago yeah yeah why uh well does that mean all the hardies are now carls junior oh wow you think like they flipped them yeah you think they did an east west kind of flip that carls juniors are now hardy

that'd be pretty funny that would be awesome that'd be a lot of signs you got to change that would be way bad I think just hanging like a banner or something you think it'd be some turf war yeah shootings yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this is carls but they're all the same game you're fuck out of here what do you think the closest hardies carles junior is

Like, like, where- Oh, like the closest Carl's Jr. Yeah, like, what do you think like the proximity is? Do you think? Soon they're going to be

like across the street when they redraw the maps. That's, that's right. Well, I mean, you know, like we do, you got to pick your voters. Yeah.

We're given of the illusion of choice. Let me think. Closest hardies to a Carl's dream. Oh, hell yeah. I would, I would wager that it's like Oklahoma and like Arkansas. I bet it's like 150. miles. I bet like, I bet it's like a weird delineation over a river and then like across

they should build a two for building on the, like on the line. Oh, like half of it is Carl's Jr. and half of it's like Hardee's? Oh, that's pretty cool. Do you think it would be like a, a, you just call it like Carly's and then it's just, yeah, it's like half of it's like the Carl's sign and then like the other half is like the like the Hardy sign and it's Carly's. I can't find this information. Tough. And since they're two separate websites, I can look at all the locations of parties, and I can look at all the locations of Carl Street here.

Let us know in the comments. What are the two closest? And have you been to both in one day? You better be right. If you're wrong. Or you're going to sit at the little bitch table. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you don't want to be. If you forgot who sits there, it's him.

You don't want to be here. Like a sour bitch. Sour bitch. You nifty, sour bitch. He's trying to get, he's trying to go to it. He's trying to succeed. He's succeeding. Successfully.

I'm saying. He's succeeding successfully. The only way to succeed is to do it successfully. You wouldn't know, dude. This guy only succeeds unsuccessfully. Oh, there's Eric being pretty nifty. Uh-huh. When we, those are the facts.

When we originally said, hey, here's like this thing, this vote that's happening. Carl's, like, in the lead. And Gracie was like all over, like, oh, Alex Earle. Alex Earle's doing that. She knew all about it. Yeah. And then she was like, K-O? Yeah.

And we're like, what, it's Koso, yeah. Michael? I mean, she started saying that, and I was still stuck on who's Alex Earl. Yeah, I don't know who that is either. And it sounds like a fat old man. It does. It's not. Alex Earle?

No, in fact, very much the opposite. No, it's not at all. My name is Alex Earl. I'm Alex Earl. Yeah, yeah. Played by Jason Lee. This is definitely the opposite of what you just said. Welcome to Conspiracy Hour.

First, we're going to talk to the AI is dead kid. Welcome to the Alex Earle show. Part of the Alex Cooper Network. I think that's a good question. Why did you fake it? Sources say you're dead. It doesn't look like it to me. But have you ever lived?

Show me your birth certificate. I'm Alex Earl. This is pretty good Alex Earl. Anyway, catch the Howard 100. Ozzy's bone yard. She's not that at all. No, no. She's like, I don't know, an influencer.

The thing she got, the thing she got famous for was like, how nifty. Yeah, exactly. The thing she got, famous for her was get ready with me videos on tic talk like she invented them i don't know that she invented them but she just did them and people were like this is it she won get ready and then everyone just drove there or what do you mean they well no no they watch her she like puts sets like fun up and if i'm gonna get ready with you you better give me your address okay i love content like that

where if you just think about it for a second you're like none of this is like very genuine at all well it's like a genuine moment caught on camera's like yeah but who said that why is what why's the camera there? Clearly there's a tripod set up here. What they did, she did the, get ready with me. It's tilted. Pretty nifty. She didn't get you when Jack Osborne killed her dog. Just kidding. Gotcha. That's from the other podcast.

The one we'll record before this. God, no kidding. We, uh, the one where we're actually real. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we don't have to read this. Yeah, we don't have to put this away. Yeah. The Alex Earle stuff, she did get ready with me videos. And then somebody went, hey, you should have a podcast. and so that's

Oh And then she had a podcast And she did that good too And then it got dumped By this other girls network Well I mean listen If we had to dump The Michael Jordan podcast

For $125 million Like I'd say fuck those guys Yeah no shit Yeah They're not coming with us $125 million On Those guys are pretty funny

$125 million for three years A three All you would have to do Is a three year commitment You're done I feel like we've done That already So much more than three years

we've done way more than three years for way less money and it feels like it's been way long yeah we're coming up on six years which is crazy that's pretty crazy in fact like sometime this month will be six years since we recorded the first episode oh wow because there's a long gap between the first there was that's when people started talking about China a long

yeah yeah there was I remember there's a flag in that room nobody saw it not a video podcast put the flag up that was pretty cool. That was like... Well, the threat was green lighted or we're going to stop supporting this flag. No, that wasn't even the threat. The threat was they greenlit it and they wouldn't let us make it. Yeah. It was like,

but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It got green lit immediately. Let us make it or... And then it was months of waiting. But we're gonna change her to in Hong Kong. There was a lot going on in Hong Kong at the time. That's exactly what it was. There was a lot going on Hong Kong. And someone, I don't remember who it was. It could have been anyone. It could have been anyone. Someone started making threats. It was somebody from the Michael Jordan podcast.

I don't remember who was. But somebody started making internal threats that if this show was not allowed to start, that pro-China propaganda would start spreading up around the office. And some of the threats started coming to fruition in ways where things were popping up in backgrounds. Flags were maybe appearing in rooms. There was also like some things were added to some people's carts. Yeah. Some clothing was seen.

And it was, uh, we were looking at podcasts. uniforms. I remember that. It was going to be very communist-y. There was a couple messages posted that someone had to use Google Translate for you get perfectly right. Messages started

getting posted in Chinese in the slack. And then if you recall you've been with us since the beginning, you may have heard us every now in reference saluting a flag. If you go way, way, way back, Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. But that one, that was the Hong Kong flag. Yes. Because we were still, because when we were recording it, we were all in favor. Yeah, we were like. But when we weren't allowed to make it, we started. It was essentially like, you better let us make the show. We're going to be good boys or are we going to be bad boys?

We were. It was a pretty interesting. We never happened to that guy. I don't know. He got a new head or something. Yeah. He probably looks so different now you don't even recognize them. Like when it was Michael's birthday

And you posted Yeah Posted like the worst picture I just go I got a deep Why'd you post a different man I got a deep roster It's awesome pictures

It's not that hard to find It's true No I probably have more photos And videos of old Michael Yeah oh yeah yeah Yeah Well it was more fun to photograph

Hey Jordan Do you want to teach us about the food? Sure Okay So Carl's Jr. Casso Crunch Burger

Mm-hmm The burger features a 100% All beef patty, charbroiled over an open flame. Did they do that usually? I think they do? Probably. I don't know. This tasted different. It tasted like how Burger King does it.

Smothered in a warm, creamy queso. Topped with pepper jack cheese, fresh house-made pico de gallo, and Alex Earle's favorite chip. Seasoned crunchy tortilla strips. Yeah. Whoa! All served on a toasted bun. That was toasted? this new item is perfect for those who don't mind a bit of a mess

who seek out unique toppings and value flavor above all else Jordan took one bite and almost choked on a chip yeah they had a real small one in there that got past my teeth yeah and I was like oh a no chip bite swallow yeah scraped my esophagus on the way down Alex Earl's favorite chip that's my favorite chip see it's crunchy tortilla strip yeah

The queso was not warm. Yeah, it was definitely not toasted. Certainly not toasted. Everything about this was very soft. It was the softest hamburger we may have eaten. Even the tortilla chips were pretty soft. They were soft. They were soft. It was pretty interesting.

Now, I would really like to hear. Oh, you want some press material? How they're going to sell this thing to us. That's all they want to do is sell this to you. Our guests seek out indulgent menu items. and Carl's Jr. is known for our creative burgers and innovative flavors. Living up to

guest expectations, we combined warm creamy queso, please stop describing it. With our delicious charbroiled burger patty for the perfect pairing, said Paz Spanish for Peace, Romero, vice president of brand marketing at Carl's Jr. The Caso

Crunch Burger is so much more than a burger. It's a celebration of bold, craveable flavors with a fun twist. That's what it is. We're thrilled to once again partner with Alex Earle who fans and followers know loves an indulgent treat.

We all know this about her. Her craving for burgers and Kayso comes to life in this exciting culinary collab. It's a culinary collab. This is more than just a burger. It's a celebration of bold, craveable

flavors with a fun twist. What is the bold cravable flavor what is the fun twist smoke burger put the cheese on it have you tried cheese it taste smoke burger put the cheese on it yeah

and then put the gym in it that's what Alexer likes put the gym in it you should put two different types of cheese two different types of cheese it tasted like it tasted like liquid smoke it had mush cheese

the whole thing was mush city it was very it was the mushyest food we've ever had on the show it's very very mushy For something that had crispy tortillas strips Yeah, this could just get dumped directly into the feeding trough Yeah, this is feeding trough You could no hands eat the shit out of this little schlop

And then the whole Like marketing press for it or whatever Is Alex Earle going like If you don't know what Alex Earl is You gotta look up a picture Alex Earl Does not look like an Alex Earl Nope, it'll catch you Nick's on his phone looking up tons of pictures of Alex Earl right now

No, he's looking up his photos He already had them on his phone Oh, that's cool Oh, no, I'll play. No, I won't. Just kidding. Dude, I saw Alex Earl at the CVS. Wait, no, I did.

That was something else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Different Alex. I'm looking for some indulgent flavors. This Alex Earl is not big and red. That's a different Alex altogether. But like, as long as she's not talking about her genes. And Gracie knew all about this.

And, like, the marketing. is there. It works. Not for people who are going to go get it. I don't know anything about it. Nope. And do you think Gracie ran out and ate it? No. Fuck no. Does the marketing work?

When she saw this? It's like the people who follow Alex Earle are going to go running to the fucking Carl's Jr. I don't know. I don't get it. Like to me this is a this is a thing where your boyfriend

is going to Carl's Jr. after work and then you go oh Alex Earle is doing that hamburger boyfriend works that's a lucky cat that's pretty good yep yeah yeah yeah yeah coming back from the oil rig

yeah pretty much and it's like you're gonna stop at Carl's Jr. That guy's working on the oil rig and he just keeps talking about his girlfriend but he just keeps saying my partner Alex Earl and all the other guys

are just like I mean okay whatever I mean whatever you want to do man you know we support you and he's like yeah I'm going home now Alex, Alex, Earl. It's like a food influencer. They'd show you how to get ready in the morning. Okay.

Again, to be clear, not a food influencer, just gets ready with me. What the fuck is this? What the fuck do you call this? Are we not influenced? It's the only influence thing that worked on us. It's not even the hangover burger. She hasn't helped me get ready in the morning. She'll eat some mush burger.

Yeah, she makes you eat the mushrooms, dude. Yeah. She's in my mind. leave me give me peace Alex Earl what Alex Earl do right now it's our guiding light send me up to a rooftop so I may gaze at the stars

do we have roof access probably we can make some yeah we got a hole in something I think we have an attic space do we probably have an attic there's got to be an attic we got a hole in something do we have access we must there must be

do you think the drop-down ladder do you think the attic gives us access to the roof no not at all This is a separate thought from the... The attic is definitely not give us access to the roof. That's not how house's work. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

No way. I started thinking about just the top of the house in general. That's a ladder on the outside of the house. Yeah. I thought there might be a ledge there. If we... So you're going all the way to the second store.

If we find the attic, maybe we can find that internet cable. Oh! Hey. And then you can drop it. Give a fuck about the internet cables. Run a long cable. Through the attic, asshole!

I don't want to climb in the attic. Well, you won't climb in the attic. You can't walk down the stairs, bitch, boy. I can walk down the stairs just fine. Sliding down the stairs, not so easy. We'll be a little attic brains, push, bitch boy, pussy, bitch boy, sour, bitch.

Now his DNA's in the attic. Drop the sour. You got it, sour. Attic, bitch. Sour addict, bitch. Well, we have our review, but we need to hear from you in a segment we call you review. Any hot tips on who should read these?

No, no, no, no. I think either way. is good? I think either way is good. That's what you sound like. Yeah. Yeah, Nick. No, I was talking to you. I was talking to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the Nick part. Nick's going to edit that so it looks like it was about him. Who wants to read the first one? Why would I do that? I will. Layla C says, I'm so upset. This is the only Carl's Jr. in town and I drove a half hour here.

Excited as fuck. I'm censored. Why? It was on my Christmas list and one of my close guy friends took me. Why? I offered to pay since he drove. and my card couldn't communicate to the card reader He tried his card too And it did the same thing The workers did not say They were only taking cash

And now we're leaving After literally fasting all day To go ham on this food Now I'm upset and far from home And hungry And now other of us had cash Literally Fucking ATM

If you care that much There's like a bank right next door If you care that much You shouldn't This is all your Christmas lifts you drove half an hour you fasted all day, you're a fucking idiot for Carl's Jr.

But if you did all that, go to the bank all the surrounding stuff that has nothing, that shouldn't impact the one star review of Carl's Jr. does not make it so that they need to serve you correctly or like to your satisfaction. Because again, like in last episode

just because you drove a long way. That's why I picked this one. Doesn't mean. Michael had a great point of like that has nothing to do with the restaurant. You drove far. You just aren't near one. The end. Also, they can't control, like, usually it's an internet outage or something.

Right. That, like, it's not the Carl's Jr. Just go get cash. They knew I was coming. They were trying to ruin my Christmas. Keep it in your car, asshole. There's an Amy's ice cream. There's a V of 313.

There's a mighty fight. I don't want that. I want... I want to smoke 22. I want to smoke hamburger. It was on my Christmas list. Smoke Smush. Smoke Smush.

The people in Softest hamburger. The people in Cedar Park are living better than like, oh yeah. Real in Austin because they can go to one spot

and get all the best restaurant. All of the stuff is in like a line up there now. They moved it all up there. Yeah, and the only time I go up there is going to fucking Carl's Jr. And all I think about

is going anywhere else. We got here and Jordan went, is there like another Carl's Jr. That's like closer since like we moved? And I went, no. In fact, there's fewer. It's just,

yeah, they closed the other one. There was one in Georgetown. It closed. And Nick's friends out of a job. We're running out of places to go. Yeah. They're moving everything out of Austin. We should have stopped it, Mighty Fine.

We should stop the money. They have chicken tenders now. Yeah, so I have Chick-fil-A right there too. Yeah. Nick was, like, we like got the food. Like, we were getting the food and Nick was like, well, let's take one bite of this and we'll go to Mighty Fine. We should have done that. Dude, I fucking had that thought too where like I ate the mush burger and I was like, I'm still kind of hungry.

Like, what if we went to Mighty Fine? If we'd all said it, we would have done it. If we all said it, it's true. We didn't all have to say it. Yeah. Should have just given it to me. You should have given it to me, and I would have made it happen. Yeah, my bad.

Yeah, it is your bad. I think it's kind of your bad, too. Oh, I don't give a fuck where we go. It doesn't matter to me. That's why he's saying it's your bad. Yeah, no, I don't give a shit. Daddy let us down. Yeah, I don't give a shit.

We ate the Smush Burger, maybe. He's going to go home, cry himself to sleep. One weekend a month every month. Yeah. He would have had to drive us there. That's why it matters. One weekend a month every month. Eat your fucking hamburger.

Shut up. I feel like my hamburgers, it's already been eaten? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this pre-eaten food? Yeah, Alex Earle chewed it up. Oh, then it costs more. Yeah, different Alex Earle. The, no, it's the one your picture.

This is the one that you were talking about. Yeah, you know Alex with an E. Yeah, you know Alex Earl? Yeah, he lives down the street. Radio host? He says some horrible things to me. Absolutely, speaking of. Next one.

Horrible. This is A.S. Horrible. customer service and disgusting looking food. We went on a busy Saturday and the assistant manager was sadly, wait. Yeah, there's only one quotation.

They didn't do all of it. Yeah. We don't know when it ends. Yeah. When does this end? Okay, I'm just going to leave this open. The assistant manager was sadly yelling at the employees, making a scene, very rude woman. I felt horrible for the staff. They gave us the wrong, ugly food. So we went back.

And the assistant manager proceeded to yell at the employees were making mistakes. She could barely speak any English. Okay. Terrible. When I got home, I called to speak with manager, capital M. The assistant manager told me the manager wasn't there and she was in charge. She actually hung up on me. I called again a second later and told her she shouldn't be in her position.

She hung up on me again. dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot i called two days later and they apologized dot dot dot yet she still works there i will never go there again the quote never closed yeah hey hey me complaining one time on the phone didn't get somebody fired what's the fucking what's the fucking point of complaining i couldn't be the hero of this review but it's only because carls junior won't let me i hate when you get the wrong ugly food and not the right ugly food That's what I really like. We got the right ugly food.

This isn't the ugly food I ordered. Dude, our food was ugly. They're like, even if they got the right food, they're going to be disappointed. So what does it matter? Let me ask you a question here. You being nifty with me? Try to pull a fastball up by giving me the

and facetiousness. I'm using it now. Right. You think you could pull one on me? Give it the ugly food I ordered. I'm going to call you later. What do you think was really going on with, like, making a scene and yelling at the staff? Because I don't think that's how anybody who works at a Carl's Jr. would care enough.

No, I don't know. No. Also, if it was, I imagine the staff was fucking off, not doing their job. They grab-assing? They were probably grabbing-assing. Oh, shit. I also question when, uh, when she goes, she was barely speaking English. Was any of the staff speaking English, though?

Was she speaking in their language, maybe? Yeah. was he communicating to this I'm mad because I didn't understand there I don't work there and I'm pissed oh get fired she could barely speak in English

it just seems like a weird sentence to throw in there it's very weird to throw in there yeah because you know what they really mean yeah uh huh uh huh and it's just like there's some uh there's some like real like uh undertones there's some yeah let's just let's say it's a little xenophobic

mm-hmm okay I get it up yeah yeah Keep going, he's going, he's going Chuck Schumer style where he goes, I don't understand. What do you mean? What's the... You ever see alien? Yeah. Very scared of the xenomorph.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Think about it. Very xenophobic. They spoke Spanish? That's, again, we're going Schumer style. Oh, and they deport the alien off the ship. Uh-huh. They do.

And then it's airlock. And then it's Chuck Schuart, a press conference with his little glasses on the end of his the end of his nose, he's like, I've watched the alien movie and that's not what we should be doing to Americans. And everyone goes what? He's like, he's connected dots. He's making connections in his head that he's like,

oh, this is great. Yeah, but he's not communicating. No one can like follow that there and his little fucking glass and Pelosi's behind him. Well, she didn't clap that charge. She'll break her hand. Yeah. Well, she's got her like leg in a cast. She's giving a big thumbs.

Kind of like mech-a-legs. One more, one more. The last review from Clifford F. Me and my wife wanted something we could both eat. Okay. That's always a good start. Yeah. When you and your wife are eating.

Yeah. They love eating. So I told her. What are some places they can't both food at? I don't want to start this argument again. This is a real Schumer comment. Me and my wife wanted something we could both eat. So I told her Carl's Jr. was the spot.

That is some Schumer. shit. Well, didn't know what I was getting myself into, started at drive-thru when I ordered my food, and was cut off and asked if I was done. So I replied, no, I'm not. Please give me a bit longer. I told

her I would like a number one light on sauce because last visit couldn't taste the burger because it was dripping with mayo and ketchup. Then I asked for a grilled salad. She replied, don't have grilled. Didn't even ask me if I wanted fried. Just assumed, so I had to

stop her and tell her I did not want fried and what is the difference in price without chicken and she said none so i bit my tongue paid for order and left kind of got the feeling after all that i didn't want to eat the burger got home to liberty hill hang on hang on and i had got home to liberty hill and i had a half peas of lettuce and end of a tomato and to strings of onion skin lull sick i am a hard a yes fan and a Carl Jr. fan, but not the Georgetown location. Felt like I paid $8 for an MC Donald meal. Well, it might have been better. Can we trade parsing on just that last bit?

What are you talking about? When you went home? It felt like I paid $8 for an MC Donald when he means McDonald's. I feel like I paid $8 for a McDonald's meal. Well, it might have been better. To get the McDonald's meal? Yeah, it would have been.

Yeah. Yeah, I absolutely would have been better. It's better. Just the fact that there's no punctuation in this at all is like, I don't know where the sentences are. He also wrote MC Donald. Okay. So, go on. My favorite master, said, him on.

You got an MC Hammer, emcee Donald. Got home to Liberty Hill. And I had a half peas, P-E-A-S of lettuces. and end of a tomato and of a tomato yeah and two strings and two Tio strings of onion skin

lull sick lull sick lull sick I am a hearties fan Hardy space S space space fan Loll sick I am a hearty S fan This one's crazy me and my wife both wanted something to eat so I told her Carl's Jr. is the

spot. What the fuck are you talking about? We really should ended it there. We should have just been like this. Whatever else this guy has to say is not worth listening. Did I mention my wife is a mail order bride and I've actually never met her before and I've never left my home. She won't

keep this is the spot. She keeps going on about Borch and other things she misses from home. The thing that gets me is when he goes through the drive-thru, I ordered my food and was cut off and asked if I was done so I replied no please give me a bit longer what the fuck kind of ordering situation was he in where he needed more time after his order

started right he needed a bit longer in the middle of his can I get can I get this okay is that everything number one I haven't thought about it yet I just pulled up to the window light sauce do you Have something my wife can eat? Hey, me and my wife both want something to eat that we can both eat. What do you have? You run those down? Dude. He's back there.

Dude, how did I know when he said I asked for light sauce? He was going to explain why? Of course. Here's the reason I said. Because last visit couldn't taste the burger because it was dripping with mayo and ketchup. Then I asked for a grilled salad. You replied, don't have grilled.

Didn't even ask me if I wanted fried. Just assumed so I had to stop her and tell her I did not want fried, and what is the difference in price without chicken? And she said none, so I bit my tongue paid for order and kind of left gotten the feeling after all that. I didn't want to eat the burger, got home to Liberty Hill. And I had half a piece of lettuce and a tomato and two strings of onion skin, L.O. I am sick. This is why you can't just pick up in the middle. I was waiting for the end of the, yeah.

Oh, no, it's all, it's all one right. No, it's got to be right. I was hoping it was quoted from the second. Maybe it's in the like the P.O. box section of the podcast. It said, uh, there's no period. There's no end. There's, like, we get, I, it. It's a really special review. It's a really special review. Half a piece of lettuce.

Yeah. Half piece of lettues is great. Yeah. Yeah. It really reminds me of like free chavacadoo. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

What was the one? It's at like the subway and it's like, called like, um, legus. It's like it's labeled wrong. Lengus. I like, I like the one that's, uh, it's like cream cheese and it says cheem creams. It's also like. Those garage sale lines, it's like, Yale sale? Yeah, yeah.

Yard's hard. Yeah, check this out. Yeah, this out. Dude, there was a... Whoa. Somebody was having a garage sale. It's pretty cool. Somebody was having a garage sale in my neighborhood.

Nice. They advertise it in the best way. Yeah. It was a big sign that said, free beer. And then underneath, also garage sale. Oh, nice. Oh, that's brilliant.

Oh, hey, get thinking. Get shit face looking at my old shit. Yeah. You want any of this garbage? Look, and push the button. It's like a fidget. It's like a fidget. that you always win

yeah dude I just watched a video about like they look like little meth rocks about how people who play Tetris hardcore are like trying to perfect it oh yeah I never really understood the scoring and like how you can get a perfect score

in Tetris and stuff yeah it's like a whole thing yeah it's crazy yeah there was that kid who like got like one form of a perfect game but like apparently there's a bunch of different ways to do it Tetris is like God it's like so I can't my brain doesn't like It was a 30 minute video and it was like an overload of information that I don't want that I don't really need Yeah my friend Brian is really good at it and I watch him play it

He waits for long he waits for long pieces dude he's like he gets like so locked in and like hammer stuff in and all like the stuff or whatever It's like watching a magician when he's like I just like I don't know how he does he does he hold the control the vertically and tap the back No that's a cool idea though that's how I've seen some guys do that shit it's like an advanced technique to get like the pieces spun faster it's fucking crazy yeah it's crazy Yeah, way too much. Tetris is too much. I don't want to play Tetris. Tetris does make my brain hurt. What's too much is maybe what we're going to give is going to be what we give this hamburger.

No, I don't think it's our review. You don't think so of the Carl's Jr. Koso Crunchburger. This was poor tasting mush food. What? Um, so mushy, so soft. Not enough. But not messy. Not messy.

Jordan was begging for the slop we thought it was going. He needed it to go like further. If it had been sloppy, I'd be like, well, at least it was sloppy. It wasn't. It wasn't. It actually didn't look like the slop promo at all. And it tasted like Burger King. Yep. Which is the most damning thing I can say about something. Even the tortilla crunches had that thing where like they must be sitting out.

Yeah. From the time even when they put it on the burger, you get it. They're like mushy crunch. Yeah. They're in there. They're there's, they're there's like a little crunch left enough to stab your throat a little bit. Yep. Well, if it goes down your throat.

But it's still mush. Alex Earl's favorite. She eats them whole. It does not crunch like a tortilla chip. It's just sort of like a little snap. No, yeah. It's like a little twig. Like stale, like steel tortilla chips.

Yeah. So it's still like, it doesn't help the mushy food. It does not help the mush food at all. Because it's kind of gray. The queso all kind of sits and settles in like the middle. And then you just got a wet, wet, wet, wet middle. But it's not sloppy wet. And you're right.

Gray is right. Yeah. I wish they, like I said, I wish they had like gone a little more extreme. Like, and just like slather it on there and make it a big old slot burger. When we got the, the food, Nick opened his first, and he just went, hey, Eric, look, and he showed it to me, and I just went, oh, no, it looked, there was nothing to it. It was so flat, nothing was spilling out. Nothing was, like, overwhelming. It just looked like, oh, this is going to suck

ass. And it did. Mine looked a little more slop from having the two burgers. I don't know what that changed. I don't know if they added extra slop for the extra burger. Interesting. But it looked closer to the, to the advertisement. Definitely. Yeah. But also it just didn't taste good. The patty wasn't good. The queso didn't really have flavor. Or it did, but it was bad flavor. And then you got the halop, the queso halapeno popper things. And I asked, do they use the same queso in this? Because it actually tastes good. Yeah. Yeah, the halmina poppers are fine. It was, I think I said, pretty good. Which is higher praise than the burger. Yeah. I'm slamming this one with a 20. Wow. 20% eat. I'm right around the same ballpark. And it's

funny knowing gonna slam it, I was absolutely thinking in the 20s anyway, and also going, still way better than last week. Oh, my God. There's no way. There's no way. There's no life's food. Somebody would have had to like, come by and spray disinfectant in our mouths for it to be worse. It's so burger kingy.

Like that's what I asked, what's up with that? That's what I asked when we had it last time. How the hell did it get in 71? Was it burgers? It was not. It was. It was. It was not burglary or something? Because I've never had Carl's Jr. and gone. No. It's like burger was shit. As I'm sitting there eating it,

I was looking at all these other regular real people sit down and I go, you're choosing to come here? Yeah. Like construction guy walked in, you know, contractor guy comes in, he's getting a burger. I'm like, I would die before I came here. But it might have all been on their Christmas list.

Might have been. I hope they had cash. I'm going to give it a 28%. 28. That's a 24. Yeah, that's a total. It was not great. The poppers were pretty decent.

Yeah, the whole peanut povers were good. How was the cake, And now we can talk about the real star of the show, Nick's Chocolate Cake. It was good. It was enjoyable. It was kind of like a little Debbie or something. You know, good stuff. I mean, you also tried the cake. Yeah, no, it's awful. It's not awful. The cake sucks. There's worse shit than that. It was better than the burger. It was. It was like a... Don't make that face. I had a little piece and it tasted like...

Don't be a sour bitch. Don't put me in the bitch corner. There's been out of the space over the face. there. If you keep pushing his buttons, we're going to switch seats. He's going to get mad. Oh, you'll both stack. You'll stack.

Oh, dude, we're going to connect you. Oh, like Tetris. Like Tetris, and then you're going to disappear, bitch. It tastes... I'm going to slay you in perfectly. It tasted like grocery store cake. But not like bakery cake. Like, just like from the show.

I'll take a bite on the Michael Jordan podcast. Oh, wow. From the freezer? Yeah. It was melting a little bit. That's what I heard. He wouldn't say which part or what it was or anything like that. He just had to like pry it out of him, but it's fine.

How does cake melt? Answer the question. If no one had seen the cake, no one would know what you're talking about. There's pictures. This is insane. Got anything else? He's fucking shooting you down. He's got his bases cover.

Yeah, that's right. Your Honor, I'd like to report a murder. He has an answer for everything. I don't know if any of it's right. But he has an answer for everything. You're a witness. The defense rests. Here's the thing.

He's talking and you're not, which makes me think he's winning. Yeah. It's got to be in a top. I'm just saying. He's talking really fast and confidently. You're fucked. I watch a lot of those Jubilee videos

and I think I know who wins. On the other roof. Well, that makes like sparklers, right? Yeah. We both did it. That was pretty cool. What does that say about you? I'm right again.

Yeah. How's it feel to be on the right side for one? History for one time. Finally. That's our review of Carl's Jr. Koso Crunch Burger. Sorry,

Alex Searle. And like, I'm getting annoyed with the sucking having to drive so far. Yes. Just give me close suck. Yeah.

Don't give me far as fuck. Don't let me like I don't want to travel for a bad suck. Yeah. Okay. I'll take a good suck if it's close by.

I'm not going to say no to a good, like a close bad suck. Well, good suck I'll go far for. That's all anyone wants. But like a bad suck, if I'm in the area, that's fine, okay? But like, traveling for a bad suck is just a waste of my time. It's tough.

Yeah. Stuff. And then if Gracie were here, she'd be like, blow jobs. Wait, is that now what you're talking about? Yeah, yeah. I thought we were being subtle. You hit your head, you hit your head, you hit your head, you hit your head. You hit your head.

There you go. It's like Gracie was here the whole time. Hey, go to 100% eat. Store for merch. Switchfork's coming. We got middle of September. Yeah, yeah. We'll, we'll, no for sure the date.

We'll confirm the date in time soon. We're looking at September. Middle of September is what we're aiming for, so check it out. We'll also have, do we want to announce the... Can we put him out on 9-11? No, he'll be gone. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't get back to the 12th. I might all be gone. I don't get back until the 12th. the 12th. Right in the dick again. Yeah, that's crazy. He was close. He almost hit me in my phone

for taking phone calls during crazy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's still going. So we have some other stuff that we out that day. Let us know what we should be restocking. Go to streamly.com slash 100% eat for signed prints. And you can also watch the Michael Jordan podcast

on patreon.com slash 100% eat where you can support us directly and really stick it to SiriusXM. Thank you. Yeah, show them what they're missing. Yeah, that's right. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Blue Sky at 100% Eat

and if you want to send anything in to 100% treat or anything else, send it to PO Box 1432-41, Austin, Texas 787-14. That's PO Box 143-2-4-1, Austin, Texas 787-14. Wow, great.

I have been derelict in my duties of reading the 100% fan shout-outs. Oh, yeah. We had a little dry spell, but now it's flooding. Oh, shit, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're drenched.

Hit us to the one. Is this one time sensitive? No, it isn't. Great. Which is great. I have all those organized. This one is the most recent one. And it's a great one to read on this episode because I think Eric's been getting it a little too easy.

Yeah. Finally. I'll read who it's from at the end. I'm here to hammer Eric. Yeah! What is this fucking regulation podcast? Jesus Christ. Eric, you baldheaded Nebraska for it, dip shit.

Geez, can I get some pepper to go with that salty mustache? I don't think the mustache is salty I know it definitely is I knew ghosts listen to the show but I didn't know they also hosted It's not brown I know it's blonde I know it's not gray

You old suggie sleepy This is like pulling out every single one Wow Is this from Nick Get shlonged for a third time bozo Much love Dr. Robot Tomato Jesus Christ God damn

What the fuck Yeah I thought that was pretty harsh But he paid for it God damn. And you get what you paid for. Yeah. You definitely got it. I have to read it.

I'm sorry. Definitely got it. I didn't want to. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you definitely didn't pick it. Well, thank you. If you want to get a 100% fan shout out, you can't Patreon.com slash 100% eat.

Also, if you do this bit again, I probably won't read it. Yeah, well, there you go. Yeah, go after Nick. Everybody gets one. Probably. Whoa. He'll get you. Okay, do it.

Yeah. He said it like, he's like the. equalizer or something. He's Queen Lativa? Fuck yeah. That's the equalizer that he is. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. All right, let's a couple episodes. Yeah, let's equalize. Let's wrap this up and eat

some frozen cake. Frozen cake! Rate, subscribe and become a Patreon member. Yeah! And tell a friend about the show where you eat food and rate the mushy food. The ugly mushy food. The next one's got to be good, right? We got to get a good one. Get us some good food. Okay. You pick it. You always do, bye.

Wow. It's because you lowered it. Got it a little bit. The camera's new. I know, that's what makes it funny. Thank you.