100% Eat - IHOP Pancake Tacos

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review IHOP Pancake Tacos so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the name Mike, RTX, scalding hot water, and liking the food too much?  Sponsored by http://shadyrays.com and use code FACEJAM, Katos Koffee http://katoskoffee.com, and http://factormeals.com/facejam50 and use code facejam50 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every nude faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavavava Was that a rhythm game we just played? I just got a perfect score. Somebody put that on Beat Saber. Weird Mike Yankovic. I was thinking about it the other day. Jordan, how are you? I have a whole thing I can get into, but I want to know more about Mike Yankovic. That's what I was thinking the other day. I was like, oh, because we just got done with RTX and we saw each other the whole time. Yeah, it was great.

I didn't want to see. Yeah, it was great. I think it would be. I didn't want to see anyone else. It was great. I think we talked about it before, but if people call you Mike, that doesn't fit. Like, your name is Michael, but Mike doesn't fit you in so many different ways that it is, like, calling you Jacob.

This happened. It's so weird. This conversation happened when I wasn't there. What's also weird is that. No, I'm just saying if you're talking about this. Like, it's just. No, no, no. He's just bringing it up now. I was just thinking about it. Oh, okay. I was thinking about it. Gotcha. And now he's talking about it. Yeah. No, I see. Okay.

He turned thoughts into words. No, we didn't talk about it at our TX. It was just like, you've never been Mike. I've been counting on one hand probably the people in my life that refer to me by that. And one's dead. So, number went down. It's strange that Mikey worked so well for you. Yeah, that's the thing. And that's me.

Because I made it. When I was ready. I didn't start Mikey probably until a couple years ago. It was a coordinated branding effort. Very recent. I went in big with Mikey J. You went in? And it was in long enough where I could remove the J, and it still makes sense. I will say.

Fiona also helps my Mikey-ness. Yes. I'm in Mikey mode with Fiona, a friend of mine. Well, then it becomes Mikey and Fifi. Yes. Exactly. Yep. Of G4.

And that's when you were like big Mikey too. Like Mikey, I feel like in the middle of Mikey is when you were at like, uh, like 10 and 10. Oh yeah. That's when you were, when I was large and in charge. Yes.

You were, you were so close to becoming red. Um, when he was quote so little. Yeah. So small. That's when the pictures that they use for all your promo stuff where it's like kind of

like a little bit long almost like mullet hair and completely clean shaven and I go that's Mikey I got Mikey your head is about twice as wide dude old head old head

got that head out of here I kept posing next to that picture whenever I could find it and say, look, it's me. That's really funny. I was gonna say when prompted about how I am, I'm tired. I'm borderline

haggard. Especially compounded by the fact that I woke up at 4.30 today. Whoa, why? AM style? Let me tell you. This is before the meridian.

Oh, wow. Because apparently, nowadays, going to a theme park involves planning 60 days out what you're going to do yeah and if you want to get the things you want to do you better wake up early yeah that's like you better wake up early and yeah it's fishing time it's um i was fishing for some sweet dinner reservation i think i had tweeted something like that like a week ago where i just said i'll probably never go to disneyland

again and talked to my wife about it she went why, why? And I went, because you can't just go. Because it's a thing where it's like, did you sign up for the Fast Pass Genie thing? And also, did you get reservations for this other thing? And it's like about Disneyland. They're just being the one. Yeah. Where Six Flags, there's the lots. But that's why we got it.

Because he just gets walks in. But that's why we got to do Knott's Berry Farm. Snoopy says, oh, welcome. Knott's Berry Farm is really a walk in and see what happens kind of place. Snoopy's there and he goes, he's smoking a cigarette

and he goes, how the fuck did you find me? I'm not even in camp Snoopy right now. I'm in the bathroom. The fuck do you want, kid? Hey, what you doing over here? It's me, Snoopy.

Snoopy, we're in Buena Park. Why do you sound like that? The other thing with the tiredness is it's fucking hot as shit again. Oh, dude. It is. It relented for maybe two weeks. Yeah. And it's like 104 every day.

For 10 days. Is the high. Yeah, is the high. And it's supposed to rain more. I went to lunch with my friend Gustavo. You guys don't know him. I know him. I've seen him. Eric doesn't. Eric went to lunch with my friend Gustavo. You guys don't know him. I know him. I've seen him.

Eric doesn't. Eric was invited, but he could not go. I was invited, but I had other things I had to do. Anyway, we had to sit outside. We went to Home Slice, and we sat outside. It wasn't too bad at first, but surely by existing outside for over 20 minutes, you begin to sweat as if you're in a sauna. Yeah.

Outside for over 20 minutes, you begin to sweat as if you're in a sauna. Yeah. And I just, I was such a fucking drippy mess when I got back to my car. I hated it. I was like, all I did was sit. But it's so hot and humid that it's truly miserable. Did you guys just get pizza? Or did you have the Gustavo experience? Yeah, mystic pizza.

Gus got three slices of pizza. He was hungry. Oh, I thought maybe, so I went to Homeic pizza. Gus got three slices of pizza. He was hungry. Oh, I thought maybe, so I went to Home Slice with Gus and we started with wings and then got pizza and then got dessert. And it was like,

what happened? It was one in the afternoon and I'm just like, I don't want to go back to work. Nick is holding up his phone and says, let's go. We just ate, Nick. Now I'm going to say,

I don't feel like that's in the millennial, let's go. Let's go. I think that's him saying, can we go now? We're going to drop him, boys. Can we go there now? I want to go. Right. That's what he's saying.

And he's not denying it. Yeah. He wants boots on the ground at a home slice now. He wants an invasion plan. Oh, absolutely. Because you know what he wants? He's ready to support our troops. When he's sucking down them tacos and, not tacos,

the wings and the pizza and the dessert. What he is going to want is the IHOP pancake tacos, that thing that we supposed to be talking about today. That we ate. And you guys got way off track. Yeah, it's true. But I'm bringing it back. I'm the collector.

I'm the one that brings everyone together. Michael, when was the last time you had IHOP? Today. Okay. Before today. Oh, about 80 hours ago. I was doing the math. It was so close to now that it's like a baby when you go in months instead of years.

Yeah. You go in hours. Because it was the same IHOP, too. Oh, really? You went to the same IHOP? It wasn't even the downtown IHOP? I thought you were downtown. No, it was the same IHOP too. Oh really? You went to the same IHOP? It wasn't even the downtown IHOP? No, I went to that one. Oh my god.

I would never willingly go to that IHOP. What time did you go to that IHOP? 4? AM style? Oh no, see I would never willingly go to that IHOP 4 AM style. Oink oink piggy style. Oh really?

That's the second time I fucking heard him do it today. He did it again. I was just talking about sausage. Oh. He was, Nick was snorting like a piggy. He was. In the booth. In the booth at IHOP.

And I'm going to tell you this, it wasn't empty. No, it was fucking crowded. It was pretty crowded. At the IHOP for 1pm. Usually we go. Usually we go. Usually we go. I'm not going to say the place was full, but there were

more than many tables. I think this is our third time at that IHOP for Face Jam and it's the fullest it's ever been. Guys, that IHOP, again, it's just calling to us. Each of us individually. I think then Eric's going to find his way there in the next couple weeks. Nick is probably going to

trick his family into going. Nick's going to have his way there in the next couple weeks. Nick is probably going to trick his family into going. Yeah, Nick's going to have it for dinner, just so we're all clear. What did you get when you were at 4 a.m. Stiley's? It was some kind of egg pancake sausage situation. I don't remember exactly what it was. Did they not have the pancake tacos format? I don't think they did. I really don't think they did.

Thanks. I don't think I would have ordered that format at 4 in the morning. I said I went Saturday. Obviously it was Sunday morning when I got there. But fortunately, beat the rush. And so I had to go home and take a quick nap, fire up a tiny little nap, and then

do some, I was doing something Sunday. What time did you get home? 508. And what time did you leave? Well, that was our signing, which I was only late about two minutes to. Maybe five. Maybe. So I'd say I left at

sometime around 10 something. Okay. Because there's like parking garages to deal with. The walking. So we'll say that you were at home for, let's say conservatively, let's say five hours. How many of those hours were sleep? Probably three. Oh, cool.

Hey, the lion's share. I mean, that's fine. That's probably three. I would say, because I had to wake up and go in my hot tub first. Just over half. Like of the two, of the like, I could have slept more, more than three, but I wanted to use my hot tub. You didn't work out Sunday morning, did you? I did not Sunday.

I did Saturday. Yes. Well, you had a cosplay to do. Big O. That was... Not Big O. The robot, not the guy. I'll be the robot

because it's show time. Big O. Big O. I'm in a subway system was that a real anime getting traveled around the city and fucking it up

anytime I come out Godzilla's style I don't really understand it was like what if Batman the animated series had a big robot that fucked up

everything just fucked it up and it's sort of post apocalyptic but not but there's still rich people I butlers. I'll tell you what.

I never watched it, but the promos, the Toonami promos specifically, are ingrained in my brain. Oh, absolutely. But I don't know if it's a real anime. Like, is it a thing that you could watch? Oh, is this a, oh, he was meeting America. Is it anime? Is that what you're doing? Is that what you're doing?

Or is it a cartoon? Yeah. I think it's an anime. That is what he's doing. Yeah. I think it's an anime. That is what he's doing. Yeah. Did Hannah fucking Barbera make it? Nah, because it's got them. Is that Drew B. Dogg in it or what?

It's got them voice actors in it. It's true. Usually anime style. Yeah. Pretty much. Chris Abbott in it. Probably. I don't know.

I know. I think maybe original Vegeta. We talked about original Vegeta many times over the weekend. Reddit's there. For some reason, I sound like a snake. You could pull off original Vegeta's height.

Oh, yeah. And give it a couple more years. Start wearing a shirt that says Batman. At some point, we're going to get to the IHOP. Real quick, did you see the picture of Hugh Jackman? Oh, yeah. He's like comic accurate, but then people was squishing him to make him shorter. To make him Wolverine.

He looked like Wolverine. I didn't recognize him at first because he was too tall. Yeah. If he's going to be yellow, he can't be that tall. If he's going to be yellow, he has to be short. He's only done 40 films. Nope. They're going to start reverse making him taller?

What's going to happen? It's crazy how recognizable the original outfit is when he's supposed to be small. Yeah. What's going to happen if if uh seg after goes on strike because solidarity i'm i'm for it they should go on strike um because all of the promotion for that movie is gonna go through like ryan reynolds twitter or whatever and like he can't do that while they're on strike like social media promotion is part of the package. Right.

So what is that? Is Deadpool dead in the water? No, I could write for Variety. I could fucking write for Variety. That's so easy. It's even better. Deadpool's going to fix it. Deadpool's probably going to be the one that have the negotiations.

Wow. Wow. Ryan Reynolds will show up. Wow, I signed this contract for 500 chimichangas. If anybody can do it. He'll show up to the contract negotiations and be like, this isn't where the bathroom is. Maybe that's why he sold

Mint Mobile. He'll come in with sacks of money and start throwing it around, raining it down. I don't fucking know. You'd think they'd have to have some sort of plan in mind, right? Like they're not going, I don't know. What do you think? They're definitely going to have a plan but like all of the

promotion is Ryan Reynolds as the guy being Deadpool the guy you know what I mean fourth wall break Deadpool knows who Ryan Reynolds is wow pretty crazy when you think about it Green Lantern killed him

it's weird they like there was that one Green Lantern movie and they just went, I'm done with that character. Like, we're not doing it again. And it's like, you could. There's like a bunch of Green Lanterns. You could do a lot. Yeah.

You don't have to go back to Hal Jordan. You can go to John Stewart. John Stewart. The Daily Show. Yeah. Skip Guy Gardner. Go ahead. Jordan will give a haiku.

Yeah. Why did you point at me instead of going ahead? I guess we are 13 minutes in. Yeah, we're fucking around a little bit. He wanted me to do something. I hop pancake taco. A breakfast taco. Tainted by hoggish flapjacks.

Who came up with this? Wow, sounds like you really made up your mind. So hateful. Is that indicative of the food we ate? Stick around and find out. It certainly is indicative of my first impression of it. Absolutely. We'd just rather eat a breakfast taco, thank you.

Would you say hoggish flapjack? Yeah. Nice. I like that. That's pretty good. That sounds like an anime character. When we did RTX, we did an episode of the show that ended up being spit and silly because somebody ate pizza during it.

I mean, yeah, that's why. Yeah. It should have been an episode of the show that ended up being spit and silly because somebody ate pizza during it um i mean yeah that's why yeah that's what that should have been an episode of the show because that one slice of pizza not the shit show that it was uh when jordan did his haiku there he said don't clap for the haiku snap your fingers and everyone did it and it made my i can't stop thinking about the sound it made my skin crawl so bad they did it in unison it sound. It made my skin crawl so bad. They did it in unison. It was gross. That made your skin crawl? It really was. I don't know what it was about that sound that just made me go like, oh.

Like it made my butthole so tight. And then like my stomach turned to glass. Now you're making my skin crawl. It was just like. Now you're making my butthole loose. It just, like, you're making my butthole loose. It just, the sound is just like in my brain now. It's gross.

It's like when everyone like cracks their knuckles at the same time, like that kind of. Yeah, exactly. I've heard that before. I don't like that. Don't like it. What were your guys' first impressions of this

when Eric shared it? Oh yeah, that's right. Like, did you know we were eating this today? Did you see it? No, I read it. I read it. I went, what?'s right. Like, did you know we were eating this today? Did you see it? No, I read it. I read it. I went, what?

And there was talk about pancake taco talk. Mostly, mostly I knew what it was because of the potential of Nick swapping for Kelly. Yeah. And there was talk of pancake and tacos. Yeah. And so I cemented what it was. Had no idea what the hell it looked like or what was on it. I was just concerned about my protes,

which is why I kept going, what's on, what's on this thing? What's on this thing? And so how did you take care of that? Well, I got a breakfast sampler. I,

I, I said, I'll do my, I'll do my job first and then I'll sample. And I got it. I put it to the side. You did. You did a great job of waiting and then wolfing

down tacos and then going, game time. And then going to town. Yeah. It was, you did good. I did good. I looked at you because I also ordered it right at the end when we were done ordering. And the guy was taking all the menus and leaving and I said, oh no breakfast sampler. Just because I was like, look, even if

Eric's not happy about it, it's already done. It's already done. Nothing else is happening. There's nothing we can do about it. It was a small little look and I just went, look, even if Eric's not happy about it, it's already done. It's already done. Nothing else is happening. There's nothing we can do about it. It was a small little look, and I just went, look, I'm hungry. You deserved it. I looked at you and I said, I'm going to eat it. You've been hungry for six months. You deserve a breakfast sampler.

You're good. I'm not even hungry. I just need it. Yeah. You had to get your protein way up, and boy, you ate a lot of fucking protein on that day. It's more the thing I'm not going to be annoyed enough to exercise so much and not eat food. You.

What you need is another goal six months down the road. 10 and 10. In what way, though? Don't know. Maybe 10 inches? 10. 10% body fat? Yeah.

Or lose 10% body fat and become a. I don't think that's possible. I don't think so fat? Yeah. Or lose 10% body fat and become a... I don't think that's possible. I don't think so either. I checked after RTX and I was 13.7. Wow. And that was with a body suit.

How could you... I don't know where else you could have lost body fat. I don't know where else it... I don't know where you had... You just have it. It's in my tummy. No, Jordan signed your abs.

I'm telling you. You really got to get the 10 if you want to. Jordan plus BJ. Look, I fucking forgot about that. I'm going to sit at a comfortable 15 now. It's pretty good. Don't worry about me. Yeah, I'm not.

It's not anymore. I was for a while. No longer. You want me to get red again? I'm worry about me. Yeah, I'm not. It's not anymore. I was for a while. No longer. You want me to get red again? I'm thinking about it. Oh, yeah? I got no medicine again. Red in 10.

Here we go. Here we go. On to the IHOP facts. You've been waiting for them. Eric's been dreading writing them. Here we go. Our previous IHOP. Did you also wake up at 4.30 to write these?

No, no. These were done at 2.09. You did not AM style these. Oh, yeah. Well, these were AM style, but not 4 AM style. 8 AM style. Oh.

Can I come a coffee? Oh, yeah. Woke up late. Is that the first spit in Sulu that didn't have a fact sheet? Yeah, probably. Probably, yeah.

So if you want to hear our RTX episode, it'll be out next week. Okay. It'll be out next week. Might as well. Yeah. Our previous...

Wow, I can't own this, son. He got so mad. He was not. He got so mad. Because it was the second time that happened. Right. Our previous IHOP episode was released March 2nd, 2021, where we ate the IHOP Halloween menu and received an average score of 44.5. That date might be wrong.

No. Are you sure about that? March 2nd, 2021, where we ate the IHOP Halloween menu. No, it was Halloween in Australia. Yeah, trick or treat. I don't even know which one is wrong. The date. Is it the date?

Yeah. It's definitely got to be the date. Because the Halloween menu we did. But we did. Because this is only a Christmas. But a Christmas style and a Halloween style. Yeah. But technically.

This is our first taco style. Technically, if you count all the times we've done it, even not on like the regular show. Yeah. It's fourth. Because remember when we did the post show for Off Topic? That was right. And it was the Adams family menu. The fucking burrito and everything.

That was, I think, technically like the second episode we ever did or something. That was. That's true. Because we made one and we were like, let's do that thing we did again. Yeah. We ate. That was, I think, technically like the second episode we ever did or something. That's true. Because we made one and we were like, let's do that thing we did again. That was us. Let's see if we can get people behind this idea. Yeah, because that was us going, we want to make this show, so we're going to ram jam it into everything until we're making the show. Right, it was a lot of Michael talking about it a whole lot and being like, check it out.

Tyler, we need food. Take it on the show like the other show we just made. And he went, I get the food. Yep. And I just remember cutting into the tins. Yeah. Like the food trays. Yeah.

Right. So that is the right score. We did keep the Halloween menu, but it was in 2021. Different date. Hey. Yep. Go with the flow. Okay.

Period. Texting is no match for actual talking, especially when it's over a cup of coffee. We'll keep the conversation flowing so you can keep the conversation going. Fact? Lot of, just lot of brackets and parentheses here. Fact? Question mark. Taken from the IHOP website.

So, so that, is that like on the main page? Did you dig around for that? I searched IHOP crazy facts, and then This guy's a producer. And then found the IHOP fact page. And it was like, why is this on here? Yeah, man, we'll keep giving you coffee. Was it strewn about with mixed in with a bunch of other actual facts?

Yeah. It was kind of weird. They were all kind of about this tempo. Uh-huh. Where it's like, this isn't really anything. These sound more like marketing features. Yes, uh-huh. But it was their FAQ section.

You'd go around and find these in like an AR style IHOP contest. Yes, yeah. Like, oh, did you find her sweet message in the filthy bathroom? This sounds like if Jon Hamm were to record this over footage of a Mercedes Benz, it sounds like it'd be a car commercial. But I like the idea of having it AR sort of IHOP thing, but instead you do it in VR chat so that way Kermit the Frog is fighting Hank Hill inside of like an IHOP sponsored VR chat sort of like situation.

Like Courage the Cowardly Dog is like slinging pancakes or whatever. Dude. Like that sounds like the kind of thing. That sounds cool. That sounds awesome. I want to do that now see it's a great idea do they have servers can we make a face jam server where like grimace shows up if you are if you are a jammer and you know how to do that let us know because i wonder if that's something we know how to do yeah i'm not gonna fucking learn is that fred michael yeah wonder if that's something we can do. If you know how to do it. Yeah, I'm not going to fucking learn. Is that Fred, Michael? Yeah, I think that's what his name was. With love, Fred.

If you could pick anything that you could be in a VR chat thing, what would you pick? As my avatar? Yeah, yeah. I know you could choose as much as you want. I would be an avatar. Oh, wow. From the movie Avatar. Wow. A big old blue person. Everyone's favorite

Sam Worthington. The white guy one? Jake Scully? Jake Sully. Sully. Jake Sully. What would you pick? What avatar would you pick for me on chat?

Never mind. No, go ahead. Buy me time. Yeah, I want to know. I'm thinking of a real answer. What's Ripley's name? Believe it or not? No, the actress. There we go. Sigour not? No the actor we go Sigourney Weaver

It's the Gordy Gordy Weaver from as we have a little avatar from Avatar I like that you would do that, but you got I'm Ripley Any other aliens What would you buy on the clone one from Alien 3. Oh, absolutely. He would have to be the sauce monkey. There's no other. Oh, yeah.

We can custom make a model for him 100%. I want to be a falcon, but like a man falcon. Like a man falcon kind of situation? Like I can sit on his shoulders, but also I'm bigger than him. Oh, that's pretty cool. And so he's kind of just going like. Like you could take off with him if you wanted to. Does, I don't know anything about VR chat,

does it have little pets and summonables? I mean, yeah, probably. Can I summon a Grackle? Yeah, sure. Is it as good as Diablo? I was just going to say. Yeah, it's neck and neck. It's a complicated way to just play Diablo.

So let us know if you know how to do that. Who's banging around on what? That's Nick. There's lots of banging going on. Yeah, it's him. I don't know if this date is right. In May of 2021, a Charlotte, North Carolina IHOP cook was fired after having his religious exemption revoked by a new general manager who expressed hostility over the cook having

Sundays off. The EEOC is suing IHOP and the general manager who expressed hostility over the cook having Sundays off. The EEOC is suing IHOP and the general manager said the cook, quote, thinks it's more important to go to church than to pay his bills. We at FaceJam respect this religious observance. And also, we need the other six days off for religious reasons, too. We're going to be rich. We shouldn't technically even be recording this right now. Whoa.

Does this count as screen acting? Yeah. We gotta figure out what religious exemption we can get to have like Wednesdays off. You know what I mean? I want a God. Like wacky Wednesdays? I want a God that turns that smites my enemies to gold. Whoa! And then I get

rich quick. What religion is that? Hell yeah, thanks God. Who's out here thundering people into gold? Who's doing gold kind of stuff? And then giving it to me. Yeah. Right.

Yeah, give me that. That's what I want. That's good. Then you don't have to work Wednesdays. I'll take off every day of the week for that. Hell yeah. Okay. I don't know what the hell he's talking about,

but we are still chasing the elusive I hopple bees somehow, despite God's best efforts. God again? Whoever's making people into gold is still open in Detroit. Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he has created. You go down to IHOP in Detroit, you start making golden pancakes. Golden pancakes. Golden pancakes at the IHOP-lebees.

It's a combination IHOP and Applebee's. I've heard that line so many times on like TikTok and stuff. It's Steve Buscemi. It is. And I was like, what movie is this from? It's from fucking Spy Kids 2. Spy Kids 2. Spy Kids 2.

That line has no business being in a movie like that. Steve Buscemi says it in a Spy Kids movie, and it's such a good line. Do you think Steve Buscemi just had it written, and he was like, I'm using it in the next fucking movie I'm in. What's next on the budget? And he just had a bunch of hits lined up. And he was like, I'm using it in the next fucking movie I'm in. I don't give a shit. What's next on the doctor?

And he just had a bunch of hits lined up, and he was like, oh, fuck. I wrote this one. Do you think we can fit it in the next movie? Yeah, yeah, whatever. And then he's on set, and he goes, uh-oh. Might be wasting this one. Oh, hell yeah. Dude, it's a Robert Rodriguez movie?

This is going to be so sick for, like, El Mariachi or whatever? Oh, this is Spy Kids. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Spy Kids 2, though. I guess Sharkboy could say it. Fuck. Spy Kids 2, though. I guess Shark Boy could say it. I could say it, I guess.

Ihopalbees, we gotta go. Okay. Detroit Ihopalbees. I wanted to go to Mott's Berry Farm. Yeah. And you wouldn't let it happen. That's not exactly

the way it happened. Well, it was him. You were definitely the reason. It was definitely you. He had, his excuse was just as valid. I didn't have an excuse. I was jumping through hoops to go. Yeah, he was making it work.

I was like, okay. Okay, I will give that there was a three-day window. There's a three-day window. She's straight. She doesn't know what's going on. It's fine. It really was. I'll just get back a little bit after she gets here.

After my mother goes. It's fine. She'll wander around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. She'll wander around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five hours is the limit before she starts screaming. She'll talk to people at the airport for nine hours. Get a taco. There's a four-hour window for you to actually get her.

I'll get back, and she'll not be done yet. She'll be like, I'm not done at the airport yet. Hang on. Four hours. Did you get my Diet Coke? Yep. Sorry, Coke Zero. Last fact. Last fact. In a 2018, who get my diet coke? Yep. Sorry, coke zero. Last fact. Last

fact. In a 2018, who knows if that year's right. In 2018, a Staten Island boy suffered second degree burns from hot water after an IHOP server, quote, raised the vessel holding the liquid over the child's head. When reached for comment,

Stella Liebeck, the New Mexico woman who received third degree burns from McDonald's coffee, said, Fucking pussy, get on my level, and hung up. He's too, lady. Come on. WTF. I believe everything I read, and that's fucked up. I believe everything I read.

That's pretty fucked up. Don't be dripping coffee on babies. So she was bringing water over for tea to the table. I don't know why she raised the vessel of liquid over the child's head. What? How did it? She must have gone like. I get it.

I get it. So it's like She's probably reaching Around the table Yeah And the baby's head Is just there And Either

Baby was probably on the end Yep Yep I'm picturing it Probably T at an I hot I don't even Okay

Hold it up one more time And you're against this I guess Well I think he's saying If they had ordered coffee This never would have happened. But you're wrong. You just would have got burned with the coffee part.

Yeah. I don't know what's worse, to be honest, being burned by coffee or being burned by just hot water. I don't think there's a difference. Yeah. I guess you smell a little different if it's coffee. I mean, I will say that Stella Liebeck got burned by coffee, and it was way, way, way, way, way hotter because she got third-degree burns. Right. So I guess there is a difference, you know, think about it.

Coffee stays hotter longer. I mean, no, they just keep it hot. I don't think it stays. Well, I think that could you. She was the one who she had it in her cup. Yes. And then it was in her lap and it fell. Yeah.

Yeah. So it had time to cool. Yeah. But it her lap. And it fell, yeah. Yeah. So it had time to cool. Yeah. But it didn't. The only way we can... Like two seconds? The only way we can know for sure, Michael, is if we get this kid

and we just recreate the... The same kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We burn him again? He's the only one that can give us the data. He's gonna know if it was worse or not. Jesus Christ. He's the only one who will know the data.

Yeah, but he can't be two again. He could be... He could crouch. I'm just saying, we either need the same kid or we need another two-year be two again. He could crouch. I'm just saying, we either need the same kid or we need another two-year-old. We could do both. I'm not really happy

about either scenario. We could do both. He's smiling, saying, let's do it. I don't know. Well, Nick's worse than my hand. Nick's like, I got a two-year-old.

Let's go. He's 23 months. No. At least he stopped pig oinking. I don't know. He's like nine. How many hours old is your kid, Nick? He had a very panicked look.

He doesn't like any of this. This is the only time in the history of Face Jam Nick is not on board. Right. Strangely for a man who doesn't talk, speechless. Yep. Those are the facts. Those are the facts. Did you guys learn a lot about IHOP?

Didn't learn much about dates. I'll talk, speechless. Yep. Those are the facts. Those are the facts. Did you guys learn a lot about IHOP? Didn't learn much about dates. I'll tell you that. Okay. The other dates are alright. Are any of them right? How do I know? Are they alright or are they just alright? The one is just wrong. Don't worry about it. The other one's alright. How wrong is it? Like, real wrong? Do you think it was 2022

when we had it? No. Do you think so? I don't. I don't think so. Because that would have been too recent. Yeah. It had to be 2021. Where did this March 2nd date even come from? It was the previous. The other two holiday things we hate.

Nowhere near March. Yeah. Nowhere near March. September 28th, 2021. That makes sense. That's such a different day. Halloween menu. Yeah. Halloween starts around August, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, 2021. That makes sense. That's such a different day. Halloween menu. Yeah.

Halloween starts around August, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they already got the Halloween stuff out now with like Joanne's Fabrics, so. You making any spooky masks? No, I was thinking about it, and I just went, I don't really want to,

I don't feel like it. I don't have any, I don't really have anything like orange. You should just do, do like a Garfield thing. If you had orange. That would be my, that would be my VR chat character. Scratch that. Heathcliff. Yeah.

I'd pick Garfield. With sunglasses on. I'd be Heathcliff and I'd fight you. And I would win because Heathcliff's better. I have a helmet that says fight. Yeah. Just as I win. And then the garbage ape shows up and dunks your ass. I could pick Snoopy for my VR chat character.

Oh, Snoopy's good. Would it be Sweater Snoopy? Parker Snoopy? I think it would be Snoopy in like a Hawaiian t-shirt with Bart Simpson on it. Michael, are you enjoying this? Yeah. Okay. He looked at me with disdain in his eyes. Well, he couldn't believe he was thinking

about his eyes rolled back his head. I couldn't believe he was saying he's gonna be Garfield, which is just absurd. What do you mean? I'm a classic Garfield type. Even in the canon of these other shitty shows he's on. I'm a classic Garfield type. There's clearly a more big Garfield guy than you. Who?

No. Big guy racing Garfield champion. You're going to come and be the Garfield guy? Get out of here. Could you imagine Andrew Panton being a Garfield though? No way. He would be the weirdest Garfield. He's a friend of mine.

No, he's not a Garfield.'s okay he's lyman cool the original the original owner of od okay so i just don't think you're you know you're you're more of a pig pen no if eric snoopy who's his Woodstock? Nick But again, he's not a little bird He's a little monkey Nothing else is different When he gets mad, he still gets the little Grumpy scribbles

We go fishing, and then he sits at the end of my fishing pole And he's a little monkey So small We both try to catch fish, it's pretty exciting What were we talking about? That was fitting silly. My hopplebees. Oh, right.

Is it a combination affair? Yes. Where they're kind of mixed together? Or is it like the combination taco hut? It's inside. Pizza hut taco bell. It's inside. I want to say like a Marriott or something in Detroit.

And it's an IHOP buffet and an Applebee's sit-down restaurant so you can get both. So you get like... You can't order IHOP though. No, you would... Well, I guess like the individual things. Like I guess you would go in and be like, I'm here for the IHOP buffet or Applebee's.

I wonder if you could do both. I want both. I mean, you already have that place. Why would you sit the fuck down and order both? You have the IHOP-lebees. Let me have both. Why don't you sit down restaurants? What would your combination be? What would you sit the fuck down and order both? I'm gonna get You have your hopplebees Let me have hopplebees Sit down restaurants

What would your combination be? What would your combination food be? Uh Sigourney Weaver Okay no and Beetscliff

Uh I think I would do pancakes and then put the uh buffalo wings from Applebee's on top I would do some sort of

pancake taco Okay I would do some kind of runny egg breakfast and put it on an Applebee's burger.

Oh! I wouldn't order a burger from IHOP. But I'd order a burger from Applebee's. You definitely

wouldn't get a waffle. You'd get a burger with an egg on it. Yeah. I'd get a burger and an egg and put it on it. And I went egg place, burger

place, heck yeah. If you made that egg in Applebee's, fuck you. If you cooked that burger in the IHOP side of the kitchen, send it back. Oh. I'll know. I will know. I've been

to IHOP, it'll be the third time this week if I go. In as many hours. Yeah, that's quite a bit. That's a lot of IHOP. If I go within the next two days. Are you going to do it just to be a guy who goes to IHOP that many times in a week? I will not go to IHOP three times in a week. Nick?

But four? Maybe it's time IHOP gets the grand slam. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I've got two days left. Maybe it's time IHOP gets the grand slam You're just Oh my god Oh my god I've got two days left Airline miles I'm gonna get up at 5am tomorrow So I can wake up

Go in my hot tub Exercise Then drive to IHOP Eat breakfast Then come here No I won't Oh thank god But

But if Nick's wife Picks me up IHOP I won't. Oh, thank God. But, but if Nick's wife picks me up, I hop all you do. Oh, wow. You can have some too. That's so lucky for him. Michael wants some. Uh-huh.

Thank you. Was IHOP a restaurant that you went to a lot when you were like... No, it was Denny's. Between like... Yeah, I never went to IHOP. I feel the same way. Denny's kid, IHOP adult. Well, Denny's is older than IHOP too, right? Yes.

I feel like I remember when there wasn't IHOP. Or even when there was, there wasn't. They like weren't around us. I remember when IHOP opened in my town. See, I don't remember that specifically. I'm sure that happened. And so then it was like,

well, we'll keep going to Denny's and fucking hate that. Yeah. Because this sucks. Yeah, this is new and I'm scared. No, I just mean like, Denny's fucking sucks ass

and we're perfectly fine with that. We'll keep going to this piece of shit. For me, it was just because Denny's was closer to my house. It's crazy. When I was at, my grandma lived in a different town

kind of like 30 minutes away. And so we would spend a lot of time there in the summer because she had a pool and IHOP was closer. I don't think there was a Denny's really close to her. So IHOP would be like grandma time and Denny's would be regular home styles.

It's crazy for me to think right now that maybe it was like church. Maybe it was Sunday is the day I'm thinking of. The day you don't work. That's right. I definitely was not working. And neither was anyone at IHOP. Well, Denny's, well, people were there.

I don't know if they were working, but they were there. And I just think of it as a place like. Like so many Denny's employees are. Like we go to right now. We're like, wow, like surprisingly busy and I still walked in and immediately sat down oh yeah absolutely you know yeah and most of the time that's the world now at a place like IHOP or Denny's or whatever they're still in business at an Applebee's at a Friday's I remember going to Denny's on the weekend and fucking waiting an hour oh yeah to eat at Denny's yeah yeah sucked then it was worse then.

And people are fucking smoking in the restaurant. You're standing there and everyone's smoking, like smoking or non-smoking. Snoopy was there. Non-smoking. Dude.

And I'm just like, thank you, what you doing here? I don't know why, like just more, more food stuff humans make in the last 25 years,

but I'm glad we kind of moved on as a society from waiting an hour for Denny's. I'm sure it happens in of moved on as a society from waiting an hour for Denny's. I'm sure it happens in small towns where it's like the only place to eat. But as far as just being like in a, in a suburb somewhere or like a city somewhere and walking to a place that

I'll be honest, they should be thankful that you get there. Thank you for coming. Thank you for choosing Denny's of all the options. Every option you had, you still, you still lowered yourself and came to Denny's. And we thank you with no wait.

Was snooze booked? Welcome to Denny's. That's just crazy. And you had nothing to do. You weren't playing with your phone. You were just standing there. Oh, you just stood there. In silence.

Being bored out of your fucking mind forever. Yeah, I remember the lobby had some plants in it. You could look at those in the grain game. There's a fucking dumbass old painting or framed picture on the wall and you're just reading it over and over and over. Maybe if you're lucky you'll get a quarter and you can get a rubber ball

or something out of the machine. Do something with this quarter. Fuck you. That's about it. And that's Denny's. Yep. Now let's get into IHOP. Pancake. Pancake quarter. Fuck you. That's about it. And that's Denny's. Yep. Now let's get into IHOP. Pancake. Pancake tacos. Tacos.

Fresh strawberry cheesecake pancake taco. Hoggish flapjacks. Fresh sliced strawberries and creamy cheesecake mousse inside a folded silver dollar hoggish flapjack. Top it with chocolate chips for extra indulgence. Which we were given. It was indulging. We had with chocolate chips for extra indulgence. Which we were given. It was indulging. We had the chocolate chips. I'll say this.

Just as you read through all of these different pancake tacos, they did actually have every ingredient. Yeah. Just saying for a spread. It's not like, and they didn't have half of it, which happens all the time. Yep. Oh, IHOP is one where I worry that they're not gonna have the limited

food there they haven't yet it's just a restaurant that i go this one's not gonna happen the only time it's really happened to us was the uh the cheetle situation where they are they were out of the the flame and hot oh yeah yeah and the guy came and sat down at our just kept explaining the distribution and here's how he was so excited. The trucks come in. There was no one else in the fucking restaurant. He came out from the back, sat on a table,

and then talked to us about distribution systems and how he wanted to try these. And they fucking sucked. What an idiot. They sucked and he was excited about them. Yes, he was.

He doesn't even have a fucking podcast to do about it. Not even a... You don't know that. That's true. You don he was. He doesn't even have a fucking podcast to do about it. He's not even a... You don't know that. That's true. You don't know that. He probably does have a podcast. He's way more popular than this one.

Probably is. Yeah. Probably is. He already reviewed this. The only people that are more popular than this eat all their food in their fucking car. What is that? Why do people do that?

We used to eat the food in our car. No, no, no. We had to because he wouldn't let us in the building. That's right. I chose not to let us do that. He chose to film themselves in the fucking driver's seat going here's like we just got it we just got it it's like the first reaction of the game i bought a game stop there's the disc all right i don't care if you know who give they gotta it It means this Here's the other thing

About people reviewing Food in their cars They actually review The food too Yeah Not just in their cars Jordan Boring

They talk about it And usually All they talk about I just bought this food I know you want me To talk about the food I'm gonna talk about the food And I start screaming

Yep Do they No banter before Like for like 45 minutes But what was the restaurant like Yeah Any freaks Weirdosos, or mutants? I need to know.

I need to know about the mutants. That's crazy. I need facts. I feel like maybe we're still a little tired from RTX that we're getting to the press. We're actually doing something. It's only 40 minutes. I know. What the fuck?

We gotta go slower. I actually think we're right on schedule. Yeah, I think so too. Keep it going. Caramel banana pancake taco. Creamy cheesecake mousse. It's back. Yeah.

Drizzled with vanilla sauce and dulce de leche caramel sauce topped with sliced bananas inside a folded silver dollar pancake. Wait. Go ahead. Top it with chocolate chips for extra indulgence. We didn't get chocolate chips for those. I mean, we did. He We didn't get chocolate chips for those I mean we did He just didn't specify to use them

I think we were just more liberal with them on the strawberry one I didn't know they were supposed to go on that one He made it seem like it was the other one He made it seem like it was only for the strawberries He did you weren't there at the time You're right Because when I sat down the food was there And then chocolate chips happened

Everyone said don't eat yet We said don't touch that one So you there and then chocolate chips happened. Yeah. Everyone said, don't eat yet. Chocolate chips are coming. We said, don't touch that one. Yeah. So you haven't put chocolate chips on that one yet. Yeah.

Breakfast pancake taco. Scrambled eggs, hickory smoked bacon, jack and cheddar cheese blend, and white cheese sauce inside a folded silver dollar pancake. Top it with chocolate chips.

Kidding. I'm just kidding. Top it with salsa for a hint of spice. No salsa provided. Where was the salsa? No salsa provided. They just started screaming. So'm just kidding. Top it with salsa for a hint of spice. No salsa provided. Where was the salsa? No salsa provided. He just started screaming.

So much for it. They had all the ingredients. Whoa. I mean, he didn't plan it out, though, either. I didn't realize there was supposed to be salsa. I didn't know the salsa was a thing. Maybe they knew we didn't know. I was making a fucking joke.

They were like, get away with it. Country chicken and gravy pancake taco. Crispy chicken, shredded hash browns, and country gravy inside a folded silver dollar pancake. Is there something I should top it with? Top it with pickles for an extra salty crunch. There were pickles. There were pickles. We decided not to use them.

I don't think any of us used the pickles. That sounds gross. Okay, sorry. And was it a salty extra crunch? He was actually talking about the pickles on the way out. So I know he used them. He absolutely was. He was like, and the pickles too.

This is my head. Crunchy. All right, let's get some press material. Dude, why is this so long? There's press material. Because it's going to be so good and important. And you got to wonder, is it related to this food at all? This one is the press release for this food.

Maybe this one will be about a dentist. Listen to Spit and Silly next week. As the leader in breakfast, we were inspired to expand the pancake taco concept following IHOP's ChocoPancake Cultural Innovation. Was it? I'm sorry. What are they talking about? I'm sorry.

What are they talking about? I'm sorry. They put chocolate chips on pancake and that was Innovate and Choco-vation? I'm not caught up on IHOP lore. Me neither. I haven't watched the other preceding movies. What did we miss last year?

We're stuck back in 2021. Apparently there's a whole cultural innovation that happened and we missed it. Oh, shit. That was all said by Chef Arthur Carl II. Are you sure it's not Carl Ill? Nope.

Two. Okay. Vice President Culinary at IHOP. We didn't want to simply redo that item, but rather bring to life a dish that leverages our best-selling pancakes in an innovative way that is both fun rather bring to life a dish that leverages our best-selling pancakes in an innovative way that is both fun and different to deliver guests a unique dining experience. These handheld pancake creations lean into sound good. While giving everyone a choice on sweet or savory, or both, to enjoy during all day parts.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've never read a word that has stopped me in my tracks more than day parts. Anyway, what are you doing later in the day parts? What? You up to that tomorrow? Yeah. Which day part will that be taking place? Like the morning style part or afternoon?

Well, AM style, you know? Are you doing AM style day parts? What? Oh, man. Nick just said, is this radio? Is day parts a radio word? Yeah. The whole thing is very like, it's inside lingo for something that this isn't.

I cannot wait to enjoy during all day parts. I will be leveraging my equity for guests in a unique dining experience. All day parts will be realized. How many day parts are there? Are there just two or are there more? Is it three, four? Is it four day parts? Four day parts.

What day part are we in right now? Morning, day, afternoon, night. Yeah, right? Morning. Morning, day. I mean, what the fuck? There's not a day part between we in right now? It's morning, day, afternoon, night. Yeah, right? Morning. Morning, day. I mean, what the fuck? There's not a day part between night and morning? That seems... No.

Because night is overnight. Sounds like there's a fifth day part. 4 a.m. style. Yeah. Is 4 a.m. night or morning? Well, that's morning at that point. The morning DJs are just getting there, opening the bottle of whiskey, starting to drink, and getting ready for the show. Maybe three is like night, part, end.

Day part, night, end, three, four, beginning, whiskey, morning part. Morning. Whiskey morning night. Foxtrot, tango. TV man, woman. Morning. Whiskey morning night. Fox trot. Tango. TV man woman. Camera. I remembered all of them. Microphone.

I remembered all of them. Gatorade. Watch this. Rat man. There is another one. Yeah. So let's read that one. Whether you prefer pancakes or tacos for breakfast, IHOP's pancake tacos satisfy every craving.

Yet, the question remains, is it a pancake or a taco? It's a pancake. To answer that query, IHOP has partnered with TikTok creators. What? And not us? To weigh in on the debate. In true social media fashion, it's awful and everyone hates it. I mean, creators will turn to their followers To spark discussions on if IHOP's new pancake tacos are in fact

A pancake or a taco And encourage others to join in by sharing Hashtag pancake or taco You know what's great about this Is we read this and it's like Hey creators are gonna do this And you guys are so fucking stupid And they're talking about us

And even we hate it They mean us and we're not involved us yeah and even we hate it they mean we're making a show about it not involved right should we anyway guys leave a comment down below hashtag pancake or taco and it is a pancake is there a way that we could take there's no tortilla can we have the jammers use this hashtag and we just make them all tag Face Jam but just say it's a pancake hashtag pancake your taco and so they really we really get this skewed to pancake

yeah yeah and also we're not even no they're gonna be like who's this yeah IHOP's gonna go who the fuck is Face Jam what the fuck is this they're not on our spreadsheet of creators not on our radar it's a pancake on their radar but seriously though what's the debate? It's a pancake. How is it?

Who would say, oh, this is a taco. It's a pancake that you just hold in your hand. They're called International House of Pancakes. Remember when they were International House of Burgers? That's beside the point. They took the international part of the breakfast taco and replaced it with

pancake. That's correct. It's a pancake. It's pancake. It's not a taco. Nope. Looks like we are in on the debate. See? Oh man, I can't believe it worked. We're all in agreeance on the one side. Are we though? He thinks it's a taco. That was way too eloquent. Wow.

I mean, really to the point. So anyway, hashtag pancake or taco, tag FaceJam, and just say it's a pancake. Even if you haven't eaten it or looked at it, if you're blind, trust me. Yeah. Tag IHOP too, so that way they really know that we're fucking coming for them and that it is a pancake.

You just reminded me of something, Michael. Probably one of the best fan interactions we had at RTX. There was a fan who came up who was blind, but he said he lost his vision in 2015. And he said the nicest thing to Eric. Because he said he was watching before that. Right.

He was a big fan and he went blind in 2015. And he said to him, Eric still looks good. To me. Yeah. He said still looks good. To me. Yeah. He said, you'll always look good to me. Yeah. And I said,

that's great. He looks awful now. Yeah. He still looks young to me, he said. And I was like, well, you should,

you're probably lucky you can't see him. Thanks, man. He also, he also, that was the best fan interaction. Well, he also said,

I'm going to dunk you in the dunk tank. Then he came to the dunk tank. Did he really? He did. And he almost got you, right? The first throw almost hit it. No way. Because they, the person running it was just like standing in front of it.

And he was like pointing his arm to like point, like get a direction where it was. Should have done like a little beeper sound or something. Like, like beat ball. I mean, you know, I didn't have it on me. I'm just telling it on me i'm just telling you what happened you were wearing shorts and nothing else uh let me tell you dude he threw that first and it almost hit and i was like whoa and then the other ones were nowhere near but that first one the first one got you also also we had another fan who she said she didn't know what to have us sign. So she just was like, here, sign this. And it was a ticket for the 9-11 Memorial Museum.

Oh my God. And I think hands down, that was the best thing we signed all weekend. Yep. Pretty good. 9-11 Memorial. I'll never forget. Absolutely. That autograph.

She actually missed me too. Right. She had to come back and get you. Really? And then she still got me. Absolutely. That autograph. She actually missed me too. Right. She had to come back. And saw you guys. Really? And then she still got me. Yeah. Yeah. You was telling me about it story style. I wasn't there for real. I think I took a picture of it and showed you. You did. You absolutely did. And I was like, oh no!

Story style. And then she's like she kept saying, oh my god, I'm so glad I found you. It would have been a tragedy. The greatest tragedy this country's ever faced if I didn't get you to sign this ticket. And Eric said, Eric said, I still don't think it should have happened. I'd be like,

Eric, but would this joke have happened? 13 seconds of silence. So many people tweeting hashtag got me. We got so many people. We got everyone. Everyone got got. Everyone got got.

Did they just, was that just the consensus or did they, anyone elaborate really on what they thought was happening? Oh, there were people going like, oh, I was, I was driving and I thought I went through a bad service zone and like my phone stopped uh i just got out of the

gym and yeah it was a lot of that and then people going like and i checked my phone and it was still going and then all of a sudden it was you guys laughing it was really good it was great um but we should talk about this food the food um doesn't have to be the review part let's just talk about uh the food i'm gonna talk about so we were there ordered it i got my food too got a look from eric a dirty glance um we're waiting a little bit not that long jordan went to go destroy the bathroom and i took a phone call yeah that's what. Yeah, and I don't know why you ripped the dryer off the wall. So, sorry. Sorry about your bad investment. Anyway. What?

I'm trying to connect the dots here. Well, I was implying you took a shit. Yeah. Then you swerved a phone call, so then I doubled back. Okay. There was my accountant. I was trying to save myself. Right, right, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it, got it. I couldn't wait to explain it. Well, now it's funny. The food started coming out. And first of all, what I did not expect is they came out in actual, like those little taco trays. Yeah. Like the little zigzag metal things.

Absolutely no way these things could stay folded without them. No fucking way, right? And so, yeah, they're silver dollar pancakes. They're little little pancakes smaller than a taco i would say than like a tortilla yeah um and they got all the stuff in it and so you got there was three in each and there was four kinds so you got two of each yeah so there was eight yeah eight of these fucking things there were six six a piece so six six of each i just mean how many trays

On the table Right It was like eight trays Eight trays Yeah Yeah so eight of these Metal taco trays And we're like whoa

And then comes out With my sampler Which is another plate We can't go to IHOP Without filling the table Filling the fucking tables And then And that's when the guy goes

I'll be back with the chocolate chips Yep And then Jordan came out From the bathroom We came out from the bathroom we were sitting from the bathroom having ruined it vaguely vaguely it's ruined like that when i got in the the first thing i said when they put all the mountains of food down because it was half like sweets and half breakfast as i look at eric and i go this looks fucking good like it looks good like the preparation was surprisingly

good, right, with the trays. Everything was sitting perfectly. It was all cooked. It wasn't fucking slopping everywhere. It wasn't spilling everywhere. It wasn't melting into itself. It all was just sitting there. Self on the shelf style. At most what was happening is like shit like the caramel drizzle and stuff would come out the side of the tacos.

But it was still onto like a plate underneath it. It was all very neat. The breakfast ones were packed. They were loaded. They were loaded with all the stuff that they says they had. And they didn't like scrimp on anything. And it was like, it looked good. It looked like the picture.

It looked like the picture and I was blown away. They could have easily like just thrown like half an egg and like a little bit of like unmelted cheese on top and like a smattering of gravy or whatever and thrown it on the table and fed it to us but it looked surprisingly well presented

it was like one of those things where I think maybe someone working at at this IHOP had like a brother or something that is like down on their luck and like I got you this jobHOP had like a brother or something that is like down on their luck and like, yeah, you this job, but they're like a fucking three-star chef. And they're just like, it's like if Carmen Berzato had to work at IHOP.

The bear style? We're in a bear situation at that IHOP. I did hear a lot of people saying, Carter! Yeah, it seems a lot less bearish. Maybe food styles. I don't know what was going on in the kitchen. I didn't see any guns. I'm sure they were there.

They were there. Nobody got stabbed or something like that. But yeah, it really was like, I would not have ever believed the establishment IHOP was capable of this quality. Correct. Just from looking at it. It looked like a chef made it.

And as far as like the idea, because on paper it's like, you you're going to make a taco pancake? Someone's going to get mad I said it wasn't a chef that works there. Uh-oh. You know, like a real chef. Like a real chef. Yeah, I don't mean not a chef. Like a real chef, you know?

Like a serious chef. Like not putting something on my plate, slide off, sloppy, half-cooked style. Yeah, real chef. Which is what we've gotten every time we've eaten there. Which would lead one to believe a real chef made this. We went for the chicken one first. Yeah, I went straight

for the foodie food. Yes. Before the dessert. Before the dessert. Thoughts on the chicken one? The best one. And really good. Good.

Very good. I took a bite and was like, holy shit. We usually don't talk about the food uh-huh the fry on the chicken was so good yes it was like perfectly breaded and fried we don't typically talk about the food while we're eating it we save it for the show and then I think Michael said I'll give a fuck about the show this is good I was like well because I had already said not judging the food but looking at it it looked good and I'm like wait it is good and Eric started almost getting

mad it was just kind of like it was fucking I couldn't, wait, it is good. And Eric started almost getting mad. It was just kind of like, it was fucking, I couldn't believe that it was fucking good. Am I getting trick seed? He just kept saying, am I getting trick seed? I kept saying, keep looking under his seat and saying,

keep going. Where's the whoopee cushion? I thought the practical jokers were going to come out. Yeah. A bunch of 60 year old men just kind of stumbled out of the kitchen and they're like, we got you. Ah, the food's good.

Can we reshoot that? Hear your lines. Can you do that again? And again, we were in the back telling the chef, yeah, make it good. Can we reshoot that? Hear your lines. Can you do that again and again? This is going to be so funny. We were in the back telling the chef, yeah, make it good. Yeah. Now fry the chicken perfectly.

Now, like, you know, the dumb fucking pancake actually perfectly compliments the food. So we have that one. I'm going to say, because this applies to all of them, the pancake works so well. So well. Stupid well. And again, because this applies to all of them. The pancake works so well. So well. Stupid well. And again, it would never work without these trays. Nope. Because it goes right from folded to you pick it up and you never put it down.

You can never put it down because it'll fall apart. You didn't get messy. It wasn't. It wasn't pulling a whole handful of this thing. You grab it from like the side and you pick it up. Everything's packed in there. It stays together. Yeah.

Yeah. Not a mess at all. So we had the country um not a mess at all so we had the country chicken and gravy one first then we had the breakfast pancake taco thoughts on the breakfast pancake also good yeah it was good it was a good breakfast taco that one was the most breakfast taco like yeah because it was the best kind of breakfast taco and to the point about the pancake i thought without the tortilla it just wasn't going to taste right yeah about the pancake, I thought without the tortilla, it just wasn't going to taste right. Yeah. But the pancake, you know, you don't lose anything with it. It wasn't sweet. It was a nice down-the-middle pancake that didn't have a sweetness to it.

I guess it wasn't too hoggy. The easiest thing I can think of is a McGriddle that is loaded with syrup and it's sweet as fuck. It's not. It's like a plain pancake, but everything else you're eating has all the flavor that you need. And it was just so soft. It just works so well. The fresh strawberry cheesecake pancake and the caramel banana pancake taco,

I feel are interchangeable. Disagree. Yeah, you're wrong. You think so? I disagree. Okay, no, it's only for you guys. It's only for us! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What did you think about them? I had the strawberry first, and I was like, that is fucking sweet. It packs a punch. It's like a real, like, lip purser sweet. That one's too sweet for me. I mean, it was still good, but that one is, in my opinion, like, I would not order that one. What sucks is that you can only order three of every kind. I fucking hate when they do that shit.

You can't interchange them. You can't get like, oh, I would love two. Two chickens? Two chickens and a bacon and mayonnaise. No, no. You have to get three of the chicken. So I would, it would be impossible for me to eat three of those strawberry ones. I could barely eat one.

Yeah, it was a lot. I tried one without syrup and then used the syrup provided, not the syrup Nick brought. What do you mean? Oh yeah, I mentioned that real quick. Yeah, it's back. Nick brought his own syrup again. Again. In another weird little specimen container.

Yeah, I don't know where he gets that. That's what it is. Tyler Hazard, who's one of our editors, saw it and he said, this looks like a really fucked up urine test. Yeah. And it did. I think we said that last time. You need to drink some water.

I think we did. Me and Nick thought the caramel banana pancake one was the sweeter one. That one is sweet, but definitely not as sweet. Interesting. And what's weird is that it has that same mousse thing too. Yeah, the cheesecake-y mousse thing. So I don't know where it's coming from. I think the banana helps cut it a lot.

And probably the fact that we didn't put chocolate chips on that one. Yeah, that, yeah. Probably would help. I would really suggest going with another human being and doing a mix and match. Yeah. Yes, 100%. I would say if you're only gonna eat like three of the same, obviously make it the chicken. Yeah.

Right. But also the breakfast would be fine. I like the banana more, because to me it was less sweet moving on to that one. Like I found it considerably less just sugary, I guess, than like, than the strawberry one.

I would get like one of those as a dessert because I do like bananas. Yeah. And it's good. But I would not eat three of either. But again, three of them is just too much. Unless you're getting the breakfast

or the chicken. It's too much. It's go with the chicken. Definitely the chicken. But they too much. It's go with the chicken. Definitely the chicken. But they were all edible. Yeah. Yeah, and they all looked good. They looked good.

One wasn't more messy than the other or anything. They all held up surprisingly well. You talked about the last, you know, again, the other slop that IHOP's made that we've eaten. And it's true. It's just like a sugary mess. But again, I think of IHOP still, it's a breakfast place, and when you go into pancakes it's just fucking syrup and shit. You know what I mean?

Like beyond the meat and the eggs, everything's sweet, right? And that's the problem with American breakfast. I think of when we went to Friday's and they had all the sweet shit. It was so sweet but it's like, but you're Friday's. You have real food. You know what I mean? You could have done so much better than this. I don't want a sugar on sugar on sugar on sugar. I don't want a donut burger.

I want a burger. And that to me is kind of the strawberry one. But even then, say you're a maniac and you have a really sweet tooth, eat one. It's acceptable. Yeah. None of this like doesn't make sense to exist. Yeah. It was pushing it for me. I have a sweet tooth, but like I was like, oh, this is right on the edge

for me. Yeah, I can see that. Also, I don't know. The strawberry one, weird textures going on you think so for me i i don't know if it was just the one in particular i had because i think it had a lot of that mousse and that reminded me i told you guys about the the foamy fluoride yeah that like you did your dentist used to give you mentioned it and because because that was also sometimes strawberry flavored i You just have to sit with your mouth full of foam.

I didn't eat dentist food. I was mid-bite and you said that and I went, fuck. Yep, there it is. So I definitely had that. But what would you rate

these all together? Clearly the chicken's the best one. Right. The chicken's the best one and that one is like upper 80s, 90s territory. Wow.

Because I think it's that good. Well, look who's here. On the whole, this menu is I'm not going to dock it too much. I'm going's that good. Yep. Well, look who's here. Mm-hmm. On the whole, this menu is... I'm not going to dock it too much. I'm going to give it an 81. Wow, 81. I just really...

I was really impressed by it. So was I. Like I said, the good... Based on my haiku, not high hopes. Yeah, he hammered it. Hoggish. The good stuff was real good. Yeah.

And the sweet stuff was like a little too sweet but not non-people food. Yeah. Not melting into the pancake like other shit. Most of what we've eaten there is just like this is unedible. Who the fuck would come here

and eat this sweet hard candy? You could never finish that. It's just a bunch of shit. Right. Meme food. The sweetest one here is still food.

I think there's plenty of gremlins out there that it's not too sweet for. It's too sweet for me. But as a whole, this was a delicious meal. Oh, and we didn't even mention, fucking cheap. Six bucks for three tacos. That's two bucks a pop.

What was the whole meal? All in all, with tip, plus your food. With my $14 sampler. And ordering two of everything. It was $90 with tax and tip. We got eight plates

of tacos plus Michael's sampler plus two cups of coffee. $90 everything all together. For too much food for four people. It was too much food. We had to bring it back and give it to Gremlins. But not that much. Not a lot.

But for comparison, do you remember Ballpark? What was the stubs? How much did that cost? Oh, jeez. Way more. Yeah, because we did two of the major plates. Yeah, two of the major plates and that was a considerable amount. This place, different food, this was better.

If I had to eat Stubb's again or this again, I would eat this. I'm definitely less disappointed. I would just get more chicken. Yeah. I would swap out some more chickens for dessert. Right. And I would absolutely go to IHOP over Stubb's barbecue. Yep.

What does that say? That says, Michael, 92. Wow. Get your ass to IHOP while this shit is there 86.5 one of our higher ratings they're everywhere

it's cheap it's been a while since we've had one this high and I'm happy about it 86.5 is high I like it he likes it he got Diner Bar in him

July 30th these are available until so you definitely have to date get out there now these are like I'm really surprised by have to date. Now, these are like, I'm really surprised by how good it was.

Try and just ask in person if you could do like a sampler. Not my sampler. See if you can do two chickens and then a sweet one. Or even one of each, right? Do a chicken, a breakfast, and the banana. That would be my recommendation.

Yeah, I think the banana one would be the one. I would eat those three. Also tell them to make it on the menu more. Also tell them to refill the condoms in the bathroom. Jordan ripped them all out. Well, refill them. He ripped them out, but he didn't have to blow them all up like balloons. No, I put them in the hand dryer.

But somehow they're all like floating like it's helium, and I don't know how he did that. He's got helio breath. Oh! You didn't know that? Okay, I'm going to how he did that. He's got helio breath. Okay, I'm going to go get the snack. Gracie, come be on this mic. God, I forgot there's a snack. This was too long.

I told you to go faster. We got to the press material at 40 minutes and kind of fucked around a little too long on that part, I think. But you know, we just got a lot to say. Not only about this food, but about the friends we made at RTX as well. What? Because that was part of the segment.

I thought you were going to talk about that now. I definitely lost friends at RTX. I made enemies. I went out of my way. And I said, I don't want to see you around here next year. You better watch out. You might be smitten in gold. I said, watch out. You'll be smut. You'll be gold.

I'll harvest you. Also, next year, I'll be three times the size. I know there is that one fan who stole your hat. Dude. Well. Although. Although. I've heard a different story.

Thank you for acknowledging her. Yeah, you heard it. Every side has two sides, but mine's the truth. Also, she did give me a spinny hat. Like a blippy hat. Did Gracie say anything we have to cut out? No, Gracie didn't say anything. Good job, Gracie. She sat down in your chair. Jordan looked at her a couple times. I thought

he was maybe going to acknowledge her. He didn't. That's fine. I didn't either. And I thought she'd jump in if she wants to. I don't know if Eric kind of hired her. We don't know. Gracie's back. Gracie's now in your chair. He said that outside, but didn't say much about it Hello everybody

Yay Whoa She's back And no betrayals happened Well yeah Yeah She just said not yet This sucks

By the way We should start planning some stuff This sucks Fuck this Gracie's back She's gonna be associate producing Some of this stuff And some other shows

Whoa But we don't care about the other shows Unless I'm in them. Exactly. Okay, we got a snack. What is that? Looks like a bag of cat food. Why is it so big? This is from user Esteemed Broccoli.

Honorable Justices, with all the talk of food court about how many fucked up ways there are to eat cereal, I thought I would submit the snack. Enjoy. No milk required, but you do you. This is Haldiriam's Corn Flakes Mixture.

A sweet and spicy blend of corn flakes, potato sticks, cashews, and raisins. Okay. He was really about it. He was a rollercoaster over there. He's up and down all around. That sounds like all the worst parts of town. Let me tell you, you should have seen this guy at RTX. He was really about it. He was a roller coaster over there. He's up and down and all around. It sounds like all the worst parts of town. You should have seen this guy at RTX.

He was M-O-N-K-E-Y bananas. Oh, yeah. He doesn't deny it. All right. You poured it in my hand. I got nothing but cornflakes. Yeah. You named 50 things, and I got 12 cornflakes in my hand.

Literally not a single other fucking thing. Can't wait to try the cornflakes. Well, they're spicy. Well, they're not spicy, but they don't taste like cornflakes, I'll tell you that. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Hit the back of my throat.

I got that scratchy throat. Post-convention throat scratch. Oh, God. Yep. Same thing happened to me. It's powder, man. Yep. It's hitting me. Why is it sweet and then spicy? It's like it's sugar-coated and spice-infused.

I don't get any sweet. Except from the raisin. I don't know. This is... It's hurting the back of the throat. It's kind of impossible to avoid. If you have a scratchy throat, you can't eat shit like this. The second you swallow it, it's like a poof clings.

Oh, my God. Where'd that come from? Yeah, Gracie has a good question. Is this cereal? Is this... This is not how I want to wake up in the morning. No, imagine having a big old bowl of this. I don't want to eat this, dude.

I don't want to eat this. It's fine as a snack, not for breakfast. No, it's a weird... You know, as a snack, it's okay. It's fine as a... I had one bite.

It's like rabbit food. It kind of is like rabbit food. She said no milk necessary but what you want. Uh-huh. That is what she says. Esteemed broccoli, I don't know about you.

I got... Listen, I'll be honest with you. I can never eat shit like this because I always have a sore throat, believe it or not. Oh, man you I can never eat shit like this Because I always have a sore throat Believe it or not Oh my god I can never eat stuff like this You're always yelling

Am I? It really It really cuts you up in the back huh? Like it's really Yeah no it's still there They get me going You're fine I very rarely yell at George

Yeah not yelling at me What would you You guys are always on the same fucking team What would you guys rate this? What would you... You guys are always on the same fucking team. What would you guys rate this? What'd you say? I said this is the only... He can't talk. He can't talk. Yeah. Put him in his place. What would you

rate it? This ain't for me, man. Yeah. I imagine somebody out there likes this, but it's too much for me. 30. Nick likes it. Average score of 35. Nick, how many monkey paws would you give this? That's not a number.

I don't know. I don't know. You had your chance. Five. Five. It's five out of we don't know how many. I asked for how many monkey paws. I didn't ask. I didn't give or ask for the system. No. You wanted the system. We were not willing to go. We'll figure it out as we go because next time he'll go, I give it 100.

That's how we learn. Although, that's going to be difficult because he really liked this and he's five. So 100 has to be crazy. But also, he doesn't know what math is. That's true. Oh, man. It could just be all over the place. You're hooked.

I like it. We did it. A nice short episode. Woo. Hey, if you want to send us a cough in a bag If you want to send us snacks, you can Please don't cough on it You can send them to Face Jam Care

Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas 78723 The Cat Trilogy has concluded The Cat Trilogy is over Congratulations to the Cat Trilogy Congratulations to the lucky few who got a picture with her too at RTX She was there So She was, yeah.

Soaking up the stage. When does the prequel trilogy start? Oh, shit. Oh, I hadn't considered a prequel trilogy. We have to go back and see how she became Darth Vader. Cat origins? I think cat origins is Gracie. Stay tuned for the Gracie trilogy.

One betrayal. How did RTX go? I think we're happy about it. Oh, yeah. We just hung out together. We talked about it. We talked about it in one minute. Oh, man.

We didn't even talk about the escape room. That'd be a whole other podcast. It's a bit silly. I can't stop eating it. I know you can. You should maybe consider it. Oh, man. RTX was very good.

It was just us hanging out together all fucking weekend. One of us would have to peel off and go do something else. And me going to gay clubs every night. You really went to a lot of... You were like three in the morning, five in the morning. Big time. Cheer up, Charlies. Yep.

Getting touched. Coco nut club. Crazy. Party time. Did you go to Barbarella's at all? I don't thinkies. Yep. Getting touched. Coco Nut Club. Crazy. Party time. Did you go to Barbarella's at all? I don't think so. Wow. I don't think so.

Fiona was in town. You didn't go to Barbarella? I feel like we always go to Barbarella. That's why I'm saying I'm surprised you didn't. That's why I'm saying I didn't mix it up. I like it. Well, if you want to follow us on Instagram or Twitter, you can. At Face Jam Pod.

Stay up to date with everything. Spitting Silly is next week. That'll be our RTX episode, yeah? And you can email your food conundrums into Food Court, a show that we announced will be coming out in 2024, I think. I don't know. That's forever from now. Yeah, probably 2026. Just say it, and then if it comes out early, we rule.

We're heroes. We're writing it now. Think about two years early. You can email facejamppod at roosterteeth.com, but we are doing a video version of the show is what the plan is. We are doing a video food court. Very excited. Judges, are you excited?

It's kind of like jury duty, but food court. It's kind of like jury duty, but food court. I'm talking about the show. Oh. I thought you kind of like jury duty, but food court. So we skip that. I'm talking about the show. Oh. That's what I thought you were talking about. I thought we were talking about what I... Has anyone served yet? I mean, I've been to jury duty.

Right, but have you served? Me neither. I haven't even gotten summoned. You have. You have. Your name's on a list. Gracie has jury duty coming up. Oh, no.

Get out of it. Just ignore it. They probably won't do anything. They're throwing the trash. Cut this out of the episode. If they don't do anything, they only have a couple years to get you. Yep.

There you have it. Jordan, grab a sip. All right, let's end this thing. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. Stop eating more. Just a little bit, though. Sometimes you got to get your friends to stop.

He's sweating. I can see him sweating. Just a little bit. No! There's a hot. If only there was a way to stop. I can see him sweating. Just a little bit. There's a hot. If only there was a way to stop this. If only.