100% Eat - It's Fine, It's Meh, I Don't Know - Ride Along Zaxby's

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

You can vote at the water park. Do you like this shake, Larry the Cable Guy? Come get kicked out of the Grackle as Our Heroes make their way home after a trip to Zaxby's. Check out Hokum, in theaters now. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Download the Instacart app and shop today. Thank you. You're doing great. Oh, and bow? Yeah, anyway. Bow, wow. Yeah, fucking sure, man. Go, go, go, go, go, go, bow, bow.

Oh. Beautiful. What a weird song that could only exist in, like, the 80s. Yeah. Everyone at Zaxby's is really nice. Yeah. I wish their food was good. What the fuck are you talking about?

I watched you suck that down, you little piggy. I definitely didn't. I'm all about. I'm all about banana shake. Oh, he was snoring. Banana shake. Pretty good. Mm.

It was all right. It was all right. Snack. Snack rat Supreme. Don't break up the nilla wafer. Give me a full nilla wafer. That was their first error. Let's just get into it, guys.

The episode already came out. Hey, let's get into the food. Okay. Eric, you like the shake? That lives the algae. You like the disgusting shake. I have no problem with this, yeah. George, what are his thoughts on this?

Absolutely wretched, repulsive, even. Anyone who likes it is a freco. Whoa. Nick, what are your thoughts on this shake? Yeah. Okay. This is, Oh, yeah, that's right.

We're going in on. Are you agreeing with Eric or Jordan? Dick dog pile. I agree with neither. Okay. I'm my own party. What? Get him out.

You are giving him every, here's the thing. Here's the thing. To answer for him, he's on Jordan's side. You are? I am on Jordan's side. Yeah. Yeah, but also.

But also, it was tolerable. Right. It was tolerable. Michael. Here's what's happening. I like how we said it. We asked for smalls, by the way. They are, yeah.

Yeah, they're not. You gave him an opportunity to dogpile on me. He can't betray food. That's true. You know what? Food means so much to him. I know. He can't even get at.

Well, I'm not even asking him to make a leap. He was what you're saying. Like, wasn't that great? That's right. Quiet, piggy. I was going off what he said. Where are you going, by the way? Going up to get rid of you.

Oh, you could turn right right there. Anyway. After next explosive take on that shake, I agree with Eric. You're lucky you're not food. I gobble you up. But he'd also defend you. Don't be food. Well, I don't know.

Anyway, I would I defend them? I know, that was, it sounded like he had more to say and then stop. Now he's like, I mean, some food is just a rancin. Yeah. And you've gone sour. And we might be eating some of it tomorrow. I don't know. Okay.

So what do I do? I just keep going straight here. Let's go to the water park. Gracie wanted to go. Typhoon Texas. Great day. Great day. Yeah. You can vote there.

What? And I will be soon. Well, for Typhoon King. Yeah. They probably throw all the ballots. Turn right at the light. They pick one every third Saturday. And I go all the time.

And I never win. And I never learn. Do you think that's maybe something you can work on? Typh. Have you gone here with your kid, Nick? No. Not yet. Is he? I remember here. Oh, really?

Yeah, he loved it. Oh, sweet. Archie and I were here last weekend. Wow. Oh, he did say thank you, by the way. Yeah. I didn't know what he was talking about. Well, he left a note in the fort. And he was like, can you take me to the water park?

My dad won't. Dad won't. He just makes me eat in subways. I keep saying it's tradition. That's his pop. That's tradition. Carry on legacy. Legacy sublating. How looks RG, 6, 7?

He's 5. 6, 7! It's nice. You were close. Still a wide gap, though. He's a baby. What are you talking about? Yeah.

That's a baby talking, go to a water park. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think you should be taking babies to water parks. Yeah, you're... You're in, like, another, like, explosive error. Oh, yeah. It's like a year, year and a half. You're having a different kid, but your kid, like, his brain.

You see, like, all you like, all the whole thing. all these compartments unlocked. Yeah. You weren't even waiting for, you know what I mean? There's like these thresholds where you're like, oh, they're walking, all they're doing this. And then there's like, oh shit, you're doing that now? Yeah, yeah.

Fuck. They're like, oh, I can do this now. Sweet. I can show you this. I can do that. I'll tell you why life gets so much easier though once they can read. Holy shit. I'm waiting.

It's like a magic trick. We're on letters. For real. No, it's all right. Again, even that's like very parenting. Yeah. When it cuts to just like you. Somebody teaching me.

Well, you go. No, you have an instinct to go explain and they're like, I can read it. And you're like, shit. Right. You haven't been able until like last week. It's so helpful. And now you're just like editing videos. Yeah. Oh, it's a whole thing.

Yeah. Do you want a job? Yeah, I've been trying to talk her out of it. Right. Don't go in this line of work. Just keep doing this for fun. Yeah. We're talking about. You can be the next Larry.

Whoa. Larry! The cable guy? We had this joke last week. I don't know the other thing. Yeah, was it just as funny? Was it just a funny? He's the one who did it.

Then the answer is no. Yeah, you're right. He's the one who did it. Nick, don't pick from a corpse. You are, piggy? Yeah, you pig. So Nick, he's not a pig. He's a freco.

Nick, you didn't like the banana shake? That was fine. It was fine, but it wasn't great. Right. It wasn't slopped up. Yum, yum, yum. It was just me. It was meh.

Anyway. I'm glad we had that conversation. I was just going to say, Eric, I agree with you. Two weeks in a row, he's bringing shit back that we already went through. Yeah, why? I don't know. Is it a triple double or what?

Dude, it's the fucking, who is multiple? You, dude. Oh my God. It's such a regulation thing. Like, you just keep talking about birds. Why do you keep talking about it? And then you get mad when other people talk about it. I know, it's only funny when you do it.

I should do it. You make the content, you say a thing. It's the same fucking thing when I hear you saying and then I say it back to you later. It's the same thing. I'm funny. I'm just, I'm funnier, actually. I didn't be on the show. And scene. Well, Michael really got mad in that wrong boy.

He was thought he was funnier and Eric. I wouldn't say that bird joke. Yo, me and you joke off. Friday night outside the grackle. We have to see who's the funniest person in 100% even. 100% laugh off. Yeah. Whoa.

Oh, I can laugh you off so hard. Ooh, get him. Nick is the judge and he laughs at everything. He won't laugh at everything. No. I'm gonna pick and choose. All right, I think Nick just won the competition. Yeah.

Oh, it's a real, it's a real contest of champions. I'm gonna pick and put me up there. I'm gonna pick and choose. Nick's got some real odium vibes right now. He's doing Simon Cowl type stuff or he's going, not funny. Yeah, he'll say, that wasn't funny at all. It was hilarious.

Pack your bags are going to Hollywood. You're going to the crackle. Yeah, where there's an asshole door guy. I don't want to call him a bouncer. Just a door guy. But I've heard repeated things about a guy who works at the grackle. he's like one of those like power trip dudes and he's like five foot

awesome Diego Pavia style I've heard I've heard I've heard Prattel that's what he's doing now yeah that's what it's And what uh what Pratel does he do Does he just sort of

Oh just like total asshole Like ID ID Here take it back Take it just like shit like that Awesome Like taking someone's ID And then I was told in this instance

Not handing it back Like took it to look at it and then just stopped looking at it, but didn't move his hand. And I went, you're going to take it? Wow. Awesome. By force. What a miserable person.

Yeah, I got told that story. And then one day we were just out and about and we're going to end up at the grackle. It was like, oh, we go to the grackle. We started walking towards it. And it was like, nope, that's the guy. Fuck this guy. You just saw him. Wow.

He was still outside. It's like, it's again, real, like, club bouncer energy. Yeah. But it's 9 p.m. And you were standing outside the grackle. That right there is a perfect example of like why having a cordial person in that position matters. Because if you see the guy and go, I am deciding not to go there. You've just lost business.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like... The guy was like an asshole, like all night apparently. That's why whenever someone signs up on our Patreon, Nixon's them a personalized pleasant greeting. Yeah. Yeah, and those are piling up. Yeah. You have a couple thousand to the bots.

You know what I know. Lots. It's where all the money comes on. Was the Patreon announcement video. Oh. Where you guys sitting on the couch? Yeah. We're sorry.

We're sorry. It's so fucking funny. I think that is so funny. It's a great video. We can probably recut that and use that as an apology video when we have to put one out. Exactly. We just use the same time.

And then like in text goes by it says what we're saying. Oh, we'll do one of those Jordan edits where like every down to someone will come out. And then he'll just. Go. I do-do. I was like, previously on. He's like, where's our for everything Nick said?

Oh, it won't be me. No, it won't be you. You're bulletproof, buddy. Everyone loves the donkey. Everyone loves the monkey. You're the monkey, dude. Wow. You can do whatever you want.

Do it. Do whatever you want. Let's test this theory. You should say whatever you want. Do whatever you want. Any word that comes to mind. Anything Eric's thinking is saying. Uh,

Is he getting mad in the car? Nick, tell us what he's going to get me out of this neighborhood. Off of Nick's car. That street. Love that street. We only alluded to that. We never said what happened, huh? I mean, some heavy alluding.

Yeah. That's now... I mean, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I don't care. It's not, it is not a deal with me. Yeah.

Yeah, but we never actually talked about it. Yeah, it's your car or laying into him. Yeah. We're going to talk about when he told you the car? He nudged it. Me. He nudged it. Did you like it when Eric hit your car?

No, it was very quietly sitting in my own head. You, you was sitting and going, that's my car. Oh, my God. Michael said, Michael goes, as it's happening, there's a car right. Yeah, that was mid-sentence. I go, hey, Blah, Blach him. up up and I just looked at the name I was like you heard me saying it but I

wasn't I didn't feel like it was the need to tell you at the time you were pretty upset for some reason I wasn't going I told you I told you but I looked at Nick I was like I told him yeah he heard me tell him right yeah so that didn't even funnier when Nick was like anyway that was my question I was like oh shit and then I was like I tried to save you but now I learned uh let them keep rolling at you let them come and then and then just sort of put your hands up and go Last week, we were in a very similar situation. Happened again.

We were pulling out of the driveway. I just maintained. I didn't keep back to stop to it. What do you want? There are certain situations where you can't see the car. The car can see you. And they love coming right at you. And you expect them in that situation.

To be like, I will yield because of the uniqueness of this situation. You're backing out. They yield. But what if they keep going slow? Sort of little. You're backing out of the drive. but then turning to go in the direction of the car that's coming towards you. And they're coming forward.

And usually if there's two cars coming off as a ways, one has to pull over. So they yield when you're backing out. But then when you're shifting gears, go from reverse to drive, they keep inching forward. Yeah, what if they just came at you? Taking up all that space. That's what you need to turn. Stop moving towards me! And then they're like,

And then they're like, what's going on? And then they don't understand. understand why that's happening as they're moving. So the first time, uh-huh, a cool, Eric got swerp tracks on the bro. Somebody having some fun, I hope. Did you come this way?

Eric got scared and slammed next car, but the second time he said, I'm holding my ground. He did, and he did. And then the person kept me inching, inching, and you looked down and they were like, oh, oh. Wait, wait. They didn't know what was going on. Yeah, you just stopped.

Just stopped and put my hands up and stared out. Yeah. I'd like to go. Yeah. Would love the room. Nope. I guess they're just thinking like, well, I could just like go around him. I don't.

I don't think. Just wait. I don't think they're thinking. I don't know it right. I think there's no thought. We're lucky they slow down to be honest. I don't get you. It's an absolute mayhem in the neighborhood.

That street, they just fly on. Yeah. I'm not even a guy in my own neighborhood that's like, everyone, these people should slow down. I don't give a fuck. Oh yeah. These streets are so narrow. Oh, it's crazy. And there's cars all over the parked on it too.

People zip through my neighborhood. But there's also space. Right. There's no space here. There's cars backing out. Everyone is going. You also have never, ever, ever, have any idea which way they're going?

No. Because no one uses their blinkers. Right. We don't know if there's a turn coming. So when I do see a blinker on, I don't ever believe it. Yeah. I'm like, you probably just forgot it's on.

I watched the guy, I was driving around to my six minutes the other day. You got his left blinker on in the right lane on the highway. Oh, God. And I was like, bro, how have you not noticed yet? Yeah. It was so long. They're hard to hear the old folks.

Miles, I was assuming they were old. Yeah. Are they that high pitched? I don't know. I don't know. My dad can't hear him. Oh. Maybe it was your dad.

I doubt it. Your dad did that? No, maybe. Well, I was chasing him because I was trying to give him Archie back. Finished up at the water. We're done at the water park. You would have saved me a lot of time. I was like, pop, pop!

Is that what he called you? I was waving a subway sandwich out. That's what I called my grandfather. Oh, wow. Oh, nice. That was my grandfather too. My was poppy. Hey, pop.

I don't know where the fuck it came from. Yeah. Just pop. Pop. Hey, pop. Like your pops. I call my dad pops now. It's like old enough.

That's nice. To go from dad to pops. Hey, was a bobs. You know what I call my dad? It was on the phone? Absent father. Oh, no. Oh, no.

That's how you're going to have How do you call your body? Crystal ball? No, he wouldn't answer that shit. Ouija board? Dude, I think this is like a similar thing like you and I have Eric. My dad, like, if there's any sort of

like consciousness after death, he woke up dead and it was like, fucking finally. Thank God. The sweet relief. The guy who just worked his entire life nonstop all the time. Yeah.

He was just like, oh, fucking final. That long last that's quiet. Probably, dude. Fucking, fucking chill for us. Yeah. Yeah, I hope there's a little bit just so he can enjoy it. Like, I hope he knows he's dead so he knows he's done working.

I hope you know you're dead. Yeah. Just so you can enjoy it. Just so you know, you don't gotta do nothing anymore. Nothing. Oh, let's see where Prevent Horizon is doing. Oh, digital rights management error. What the fuck?

We don't have rights to this? What happened? To fix this, restart the app, restart your device, reset your network connection. Try playing that. Tell me, no! It betrayed us, Michael. They pulled it in the middle. It's turned on it.

Oh, yeah. This is still like the beginning. I thought the storm father was gone and then when there's no more storm light. What are the radiance going to do? Hey, hey, tomorrow. Oh, there it is. I bought the cheapest one they had. Hell yeah.

Do I need to blur any of that? Oh, probably. Probably. Yes. Gracie over here. Here, look. He had to run away from it. Oh, here's Hocom.

It's just our address. This was the trailer that we watched before Exit 8. Oh, let's see if it's... Is this the Irish Hotel? Yeah. The weird, like, rabbit dog or whatever that was Resident Evil. That picture that I sent you of the

guy with the eyeball thing was up in Discord. And I went to record. And I went to record something and Archie was like, Dad! He's like pointing at it all scared. That's awesome. Well, he got someone, we ate the food already. Yeah. So, did we like it?

Find out in the episode that already came out. He didn't like the shake. We know how Nick. It was fine. He's on my side. I'm on your side. Defend the food at all costs. Yeah, from Eric.

Yeah. I thought the shake was pretty good. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I'm torn. He doesn't, he doesn't know what it is. do.