100% Eat - It’s Worse Every Time %% Jack in the Box Mummy Wrapped Monster Taco

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Because of YOU (through your vote on Patreon.com/100percenteat exclusively) Our Heroes have to return to Jack in the Box. What is with this place? There are no drinks, it is 90 degrees, jalapeños.�...�It’s not banned anymore but we’re not allowed to get breakfast from here even though it’s served all day? This whole thing is confusing and Nick is making it worse. But wait, what’s this shake? Sponsored by HelloFresh. Thanks HelloFresh! Get 10 FREE meals at HelloFresh.com/freepercent. Applied across 7 boxes, new subscribers only, varies by plan. We also just released some new designs on 100percenteat.store so drop by and grab a Cinnamon Lives shirt or a spice rat hat. Good stuff. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, it's Eric. Go to 100%eat.store right now to check out all of our new designs and a new hat. That's 100%eat.store. But for now, enjoy the show. Welcome to 100%eat, the show where we're trying to make you guys a fast food restaurant. You know if you're new, you probably do know I'm here with Michael Jones. I'm Michael Jones. How are you? Holy moly, that was a speed run. It was. Do you think- End the podcast. Now go Jordan. How are you? Holy moly that was a speedrun. It was do you think and the podcast now go he didn't start the timer You saw do you think Nick's gonna forget the clock after I told him to forget the clock and he said yeah
Starting point is 00:00:30 Yeah, he did. Okay, don't worry. I I clocked it. Thank you. Oh now he's gonna get clocked Are you guys shaking it around looking at it? Yeah Guys he's going Yeah, yes Guys Yes, we've been talking about the possibility in the future of finding the right time to pivot hard, right? Hmm. Oh, right. Yeah, the time real money the time is now because up for auction right here in Austin is free speech systems media holdings doing business as info wars all of Alex Jones's shit is up for auction.
Starting point is 00:01:07 His intellectual property, his physical property. Okay, we can buy Alex Jones the man? What about the desk that says Infowars? Can that be our new table? That is part of a package where you can get the production rights and materials, the domain names, the social media accounts, podcast sites, newsletter subscribers, and the production equipment and materials the domain names the social media accounts podcast sites newsletter subscribers How much is it and the production equipment optional how much is it? I'm gonna say two million. This is starting on November 8th, and you have to sign an NDA before you get any more
Starting point is 00:01:39 What you own all the rights not yet you don't I'll sign an NDA and then I'll go and I own the NDA and I'm throwing it out If we get it and we divvy it up, I want anything that has a horse on it I just want to know do drugs medicine. Yeah anything anything worse. Yeah going into me. There's a lot of there's a lot of horse imagery Yeah, you're actually Free speech, of course. There's a lot of horse in there. It is The freest of all the animals the horse. I just want to know the secret of how he got so red oh He worked out so much or he was standing in the 45 days later. He was redder
Starting point is 00:02:15 Yeah, but he used like a supple oh yeah, and you believe that that he got right Did you not learn anything from Alex Jones my twisted brain totally believed it dude you probably you probably think the frogs are straight That's what I think they frogs they were when I was done with them what? Not sure what that means. I only went after the lady frogs Okay I don't I don't they were they were croaking I Don't want all this stuff. I just want I want that desk to be our desk.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Why do you think that's what everyone wants? Why do you think it was packaged well? Yeah, you're right all this shit nobody wants. I want to try. I like how the production equipment is optional. Oh, yeah You don't have to take it, but you have to own everything else. Yeah, yeah Like imagine if all of a sudden like the next episode of this is like we're reviewing In-N-Out Burger and it just says Infowars What if we just- Hey follow us at 100% of the people? Go to go to info wars.com. That'd be good. Yo, what if I just turn the corner on this?
Starting point is 00:03:13 We want to get the imagery but not pay the millions of dollars inside the NDAs. And we just put letters in front of us that says info fight. Oh, that's info fight. Info conflict. This is a good idea. This is great. I really think if we could get Infowars.com and it just leads to our podcast,
Starting point is 00:03:30 we would be crushing it. The other thing they sell as a package is the Infowars store, which has the trademarks, the vendor contacts, the e-commerce platform, and associated customer lists. Oh, excellent. I'm gonna buy these rights, and then I'm gonna sell all these rights. You're so screwed. I'm gonna. I'm gonna buy I'm gonna buy these rights, and I'm gonna sell all these rights You're so screwed. I'm gonna sell all your information
Starting point is 00:03:50 Does he selling is anything in that list of the do with jack-in-the-box mummy wrapped monster taco no what's that about? I have no idea. It's just it's part of I've heard I've heard a jack-in-the-box before yeah never been there. Oh Yeah, that's what you think not that I can remember you fool that's what you think hey where'd this come from yeah hey wait honestly where'd it go it was really good where's everyone else's in the trash well you had to pull a drink about a third of it and then I'm like I'll die yeah that was the problem cuz I was then talking and I picked it back up and I was drinking it and I already had a bad tummy this morning. Uh I had some spicy chicken last night good thing
Starting point is 00:04:29 You didn't have any more spicy chicken. Yeah, I literally said today I hope and then I had and then I had like two slices of pizza for lunch And I went I really hope we don't have wings or pizza today, and then we had wings wings The wings were a last-second pivot Yeah, because they didn't have the sourdough Breakfast was also a last second pivot yeah, or addition. It was just an addition It was just what else do you guys want and Nick wanted breakfast at 630 at night? Made that noise while you were driving, and you were upset with him shit
Starting point is 00:04:58 Watch watch the ride along and tell me I'm wrong. It's pretty good when you're dry Eric's mom is there You want if you want to see Eric's mom, check out the ride. You wish. Honestly, I do wish that he was your mom. That would be great. Somebody, if you're driving the car and then someone in the back seat starts going, not just a loud noise, it's a gasp.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Yeah, the gasp. Like you could just go, ah! And that wouldn't really bother me and then silence monster tacos No, no it was Sourdough so scream we went to that jack-in-the-box again the same jack-in-the-box that declines every time we go It is simply decaying eventually the next time next time we go to those nice chandeliers
Starting point is 00:05:46 that they put up, they're gonna be like, they're gonna just be dangling there or have fallen off. They'll be hanging from the wires exposed. Right, one will be on the ground and they're too lazy to pick it up. We're gonna go in, there's gonna be like, shrubbery and sort of forest taking over and there'll be monkeys swinging through the chandeliers.
Starting point is 00:06:02 It's like the last of us. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Yes. A giraffe walks up to us. The Earth is taking back its rightful place, starting with Jack in the Box. Frankly, they can have it. Yeah, that Jack in the Box, they can absolutely have it. Just let it go. It's like...
Starting point is 00:06:17 This thing, coal opens up, swallows the Jack in the Box. It's like the houses on the beach, you know, and the hurricanes are coming. You just got to let the Earth take it. That's that Jack in the Box. Do you think that's what happened to all the soda? The earth started taking it? Dude, good question. I've never seen that before. The freestyle was totally empty. It was empty.
Starting point is 00:06:32 And the AC was broken. It was so hot in there. Jordan was like, you have to prioritize one. It's either fixing the Coke freestyle machine or the AC. It might go in, or neither. It was definitely a neither. It was so hot in there. It was so uncomfortable. Not a single other soul in there
Starting point is 00:06:49 besides the one person working. It was pretty dystopian. That guy did not want to be helping us, but he did a great job at getting the order right. He did get all the food right. He nailed it. You also were fumbling a little bit with the chicken. I don't know what you were doing.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Yeah, you wanted three of the six. Because there's six piece, but needed three you need there's three different Yes, and you asked Nick what he wanted and he answered you and you got pissed That's why we wanted He looked at me he went yeah, yeah, he wanted me he wanted me to There are there are youpeño. There are, You asked for it, bitch. There are,
Starting point is 00:07:27 There are stuffed jalapenos at Jack in the Box. I love them. I think it's a great idea to get them. Yeah. There are two different sizes with the order. And also he didn't say that that's what he wanted in specific, just jalapeno. Jalapeño.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Jalapeño. Stop saying it. I felt like we really did ourselves a favor by just saying no to everything he asked Like do you want anything else? No, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want anything to drink? No, I scoped out the freestyle that was you went over to drink looked at it came back and you went to throw water at the office You're looking at it, but that's okay because we got the which please shake also which please which isn't I didn't Like on which is it what what confused me which isn't which please? So it's not technically on the format But I did include I did include the description in the thing later, so you'll learn about what it is good because I'm very curious
Starting point is 00:08:24 You okay? Yeah, I was just wondering what that sound was, and it was him sneaking into the beer. There's no water. I'll drink beer. Hey! Hey guys, check it out! It's Atomic Pumpkin Spicy Release New Belgian Voodoo Ranger. And it's 17%. Jesus! What?!
Starting point is 00:08:44 Nah, I'm just making it up. It's Voodoo Ranger. Dude's 17% cheese what I'm just making it up. It's food right dude. I would believe it Okay, okay I picked a number that was impossible It's like drinking wine Okay, why I'll we're not sip. I don't want to drink. We're not sponsored I'm gonna have a simple mind um we're not sponsored here you go by Voodoo Ranger, but we will be I get a voodoo ranger, but we will be hey voodoo remember us Oh, that's pretty good. Is it go for it? Waterfall this shit. Yeah, I got all my vaccines. I'm up to date. Oh, dude. I just got mine. Yeah me too. I
Starting point is 00:09:18 Don't know why I didn't believe him info were stuck Sorry, I just went to the veterinarian horses what do you think um you want one shut up yeah you do shut up oh fuck it's pretty good you're gonna talk to Eric's mom that way it's it's it's just pumpkin enough yeah it's pretty good it's a spice release doesn't indeed mean pumpkin spice. It's spice. It's not spicy No, it is it tastes like pumpkin bread Like it has like that flavor profile to it was that strange an inquisitive sound or or like a Okay, you're not how it sounded oh sorry I was just curious
Starting point is 00:10:05 But the glass is a new thing for you. Yeah, I wasn't gonna say anything look I I'll be honest. That's actually pretty cool. Yeah, that was actually pretty cool. What you doing there? Hell like little that's cool. We logos. Okay. That's actually pretty cool. I like that. I like that That was cool. If you're watching the you thought you did it you't do that once on my podcast you fucker. I knocked him off accidentally Nobody saw the thing or just the frames the frames. Oh, I missed it. I try not to look at you. Well He was on the Mikey Freda podcast. Yeah. Yeah, he was on it this morning. How was that? That's good. Yeah He got a just show up and be talent. Yeah. Yeah You didn't have to you didn't have to set up anything doing Yeah, it was great. Sure didn't do anything was it super uncomfortable to show up and not sat down and rap
Starting point is 00:10:49 No, it was 50-50. Yeah What does that mean? What does that what does that? Something came up. Oh Oh, that's exciting. Okay. I see interesting. I didn't know he was gonna bring it up this well I can't I can't wait to listen. Oh, no well It's relevant to us as well. Oh is that right cool. What is it? I was gonna wait to the Michael Jordan podcast, but I feel like It's something relevant to us that's that you guys might be upset about no oh great. Oh, no I think
Starting point is 00:11:23 That's fine. Let's not let's not ponder on it. Well. Let's not ponder on it Let me just ask a question that maybe has nothing related, okay? Should I not call the bank? Cool that would have been insane if you told you She's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. We've been here. It was very funny. We've already been here for hours doing these two tricks. Oh no! We've we've
Starting point is 00:11:57 He's fine. He's fine. Hey, let's focus on the show here. He's not the show. No, we've been here for- I disagree. We've been here for hours because we had to get this streaming computer set up and everything. Me and Nick. Yeah, I was wanting to get that clear. And it was us doing a live stream going,
Starting point is 00:12:12 is this good? Does this sound good? Oh, does this sound good? Okay, now you do it. Does this sound good? It was that for about 40 minutes. I like the setup he's got, man. It's really clean.
Starting point is 00:12:24 There's like a lot to it. I like that I can see oh you're also video folder here yeah well that's where all our videos it kind of it looks like a populating as we go like a doctor's office was like a hospital yeah yeah put some extra here's what your organs look like yeah as you can see here not good yeah this is how it was when I was at the dentist last time and they went see these teeth. That's bad Yeah, we did an x-ray of your chest and all we got back was a WMV I've been doing a VI file shit Just make sure you run it through the conversion correctly. Yep. So what do you guys think about it? I'm sorry the VLC we don't have VLC
Starting point is 00:13:00 It's it's it's HK6 it just keeps opening a Windows media player if I you see something and it's not wave or mp3. It's it's it's it's HK6 it's just opening a Windows Media player If I you see something that's not wave or mp3, it's not gonna work. Oh This is it. It's st. Four six. Oh, you got a download codex. Don't worry You know, we have we take you to the right page. It's totally fine. You don't know we use divx here Open real-time media player. We got quick time it it needs an update. Yeah, it's not good. Just hit just hit skip just hit skip again It's fine. Yeah, what do you guys think about Jack in the Box in general? It's high food right? Yes, like munchy food. Yeah, that's definitely like the thing. It's like Sonic. I don't know if they have more options
Starting point is 00:13:38 But it's similar to me when their breakfast is available. They have Like their their sh's like endless. Because they go breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night. Like, they go insane. Every time we go there, I do notice that their menu seems to get more expansive. Yes. Like, the wings this time were new. Totally. You coolin' off? You put the milkshake on his neck.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Oh no. Usually that's a bad sign. What about that? He's thinking about nervous about the I thought I was thinking about the Phillies it is fighting a junkie related. Yeah, I uh I Really want the Phillies and the Padres to win so that they can face each other and you guys can just be enemies for like We put money on it too. Yeah. Yeah, we just have that text group too still. I would love to watch along a game as well. Oh, that'd be a lot of fun.
Starting point is 00:14:30 We can do that now because we have it so set up. So you're right, it's high food. This is a get breakfast your construction worker, get the sausage like sourdough jack or like the biscuit egg thing or whatever. I've never had their breakfast. It's fucking good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:47 It is like. It looked good. I'll be honest, that sourdough thing that they didn't have. Yeah, it takes your breath away. It was a. It was a. Mom. Mom.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Mom. The, they didn't have the breakfast thing because they were out of the breakfast meat is what the guy said. The breakfast meat. He's like, oh, we're not serving breakfast. And it's like, oh. Well, there are literally assignments
Starting point is 00:15:12 as breakfast all day. And then he went, oh, we're out of, he's like, we're out of the meat that we have at breakfast, which is, I think, the bacon and the sausage. He knew someone was about to complain. Yeah. Okay. It's what freak.
Starting point is 00:15:25 So we ended up not getting their breakfast, but their breakfast is like, it's good in the way that their tacos are good, in the way that their jalapeno poppers are good, where you're like, this is garbage, but boy, it's scratching that itch. Yeah. That thing I like.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Fried garbage and the girlies. They do. Girlie fries are fucking good. Yep. Yeah. Niche garbage is really, it's a good target. But but they hit don't they feel like they were the first ones doing niche garbage Yes, like they feel like they were ahead of it well before Sonic. Yeah. Yeah And they also leaned into their gonna say it They leaned into that
Starting point is 00:16:02 That kind of genre early on to you with like their commercials and stuff of the high guy going, uh, can I get a... One 99 tacos. Yeah. Um, and like their boxes of... Oh, the munchy meals. Where it's just, we have fried up tiny tacos. The stoner sampler. We right up tiny tacos. We fried up
Starting point is 00:16:27 Curly rings we've put them in a box with cheese, and then we threw a hamburger on top of it I feel like at the same time Taco Bell was doing fourth meal. Yes, but they were doing they were doing it No, they weren't They weren't leaning into that kind of subculture like Jack in the Box was. No, they were just reaping the benefits of that subculture. But when they were advertising it, they were like, oh, it's sophisticated. Yes, it was fourth meal. It was definitely not the...
Starting point is 00:16:56 When you're out and you're open until 2 a.m. Yeah, it's fourth meal. When you're sophisticated. Yeah, right. When there's no other place open after your after your life show in Chicago. Absolutely. The Jack in the Box commercials are definitely how it felt growing up in San Diego, where it is a long haired guy in one
Starting point is 00:17:14 of those hoodies that you get at the beach that's like woven. And then like he's like driving a van and it's just like, hey, can I get tacos? Like that is- Hey, can I get a, and then the guy on the other side's a. Yeah, yeah, it's just that. It's that at 1.30 and they nailed it.
Starting point is 00:17:32 It's just what they do and that's good. But you guys don't know shit about Jack in the Box. I know the burgers are bad. Yes, it's a Sonic situation, we don't do it. Went four other times, right? Yeah, but let's learn about- So I feel like we know maybe the most about Jack in the Box coming up. Right, I don't know, for a writer- I don't do it. Yeah four other times, right? Yeah, but let's learn about no maybe the most about Jack in the Box right? I don't know for a restaurant that member a past life. We sure are going to it a lot
Starting point is 00:17:51 Yeah, right. Well, this was a vote that you voted. Oh, that's right. You did this Yeah, it's not Nick. You did it Nick keeps saying he didn't vote. I the patreon has a vote It's no one clicked on Jack in the box You gotta stop that gotta get around to that. Okay, so just canceled my sub to him. Yeah, that's true This episode of 100% eat is brought to you by HelloFresh. 100% Eat is not a cooking show, it's an eating show. But secretly, behind the scenes, when we go home, me and my next door neighbor Michael, who you all know,
Starting point is 00:18:39 we love getting HelloFresh because they always send us delicious food that we then turn into delicious meals. And you can get 10 free meals at HelloFresh because they always send us delicious food that we then turn into delicious meals. And you can get 10 free meals at HelloFresh.com slash free percent and they make it so easy for you. HelloFresh delivers all the proportioned ingredients you'll need to make easy homemade meals. All the proteins, veggies, and most importantly, the sauces are all included in your box
Starting point is 00:19:04 along with simple instructions that walk you through each step of the cooking process. It's so easy a sauce monkey could do it. And HelloFresh has a changing menu of over 50 recipes each week, so there's always plenty of options for whatever you're craving. Plus they have over 100 market add-on items like desserts, breakfast, and snacks. Just this week I made a Mushu Pork Bowl from HelloFresh. First of all, one of the easiest dishes I've ever made.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Super easy recipe to follow. And it made me a delicious meal that I instantly devoured. It was easily the best thing I ate this week. So if you want to get cooking, you can get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com slash free percent. Apply it across seven boxes. New subscribers only. Various by plan.
Starting point is 00:19:51 That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to hellofresh.com slash free percent. F-R-E-E percent. Thank you, HelloFresh. Let's learn about Jack in the Box. All right. Percent thank you hello fresh. Let's learn about Jack in the Box all right our last Jack in the box episode was May 14th 2024 where we ate whatever we were trying a new format it received an average rating of 41 So we quickly threw out the we'll just get whatever at this restaurant with Michael's protests, which was correct I think we all agreed that
Starting point is 00:20:21 We did that like the second that was a soda. That was like the first one first one Yeah, you know it was fine for the first one. Yeah, and then it was like this is all We need to try to get the same thing But I do reserve the right if we can't if we're finding shit and it like the limited time stuff sucks We got to just go to a place get the same thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's totally fine Yeah, I think 41 in general is a great rating for Jack in the Box. Very after being banned Yeah, I think I think you know it was a wise decision to change it if this show is going Mmm. It needs to be a little more focused. Yeah
Starting point is 00:20:55 Same page. Uh-huh. Wait, wait, I got about 10 more minutes of info So you have seen Terminator 2? As long as we all ate the same food. Continue? What's AJ up to? Yeah. Okay, let's keep going. In 2020, Jack in the Box sued a franchise owner in San Antonio because he would not stop operating as Jack in the Box after they
Starting point is 00:21:18 terminated his contract with the company. We might start doing this with a podcast, honestly. Thanks for listening to the Rooster Teeth podcast. There's nothing you can do about it Collusion going on here. Yeah, yeah Well, it's a little harder for them to stop us because they don't exist. Yeah You know Jack in the Box does When you get stuff from roosterteeth now, it's from an LA address and it looks weird to see that hey, it's us rooster
Starting point is 00:21:49 Yeah, hey. Hello. It's us that LA based company doing business as roosterteeth productions LLC They could just start calling this podcast info wars, right? info fight Give it time. We're getting that table. I don't know how we're getting it in here. We're getting it in here It's probably bigger than it's gonna be there's no way we're getting to that fucking door Yeah, the glass comes out. Yeah, yeah, it does not go back in Piece by piece I don't think it whatever I think that's the start of the first episode Shot of this room empty and then we smash the desk through the window
Starting point is 00:22:24 Deal with that later. Do you know how much money we're gonna have we can pay for new windows, dude episode is a shot of this room empty and then we smash the desk through the window. Deal with that later. Do you know how much money we're gonna have? We can pay for new windows, dude. We'll buy this whole goddamn complex. And Gus. Welcome to the Info Wars compound. We own everything. We go door to door and they're like, oh hey, it's the guy with the flyer about fixing his toilet. Sorry, we're kicking you out We own the place. Get the hell out In March of 2021 a Houston man was shot at by a jack-in-the-box employee in the drive-thru after he demanded his curly fries Which are quite good the employee threw ketchup packets at the man the man responded by throwing his food Then the employee pulled out a gun and started blasting measure Measured. In an interview conducted by Inside Edition from within the porta-potty, the man claimed he did not yell anything racial at the employee.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Okay. It's weird that he brings that up. Jack in the Box is maybe the only job where you can open fire on customers, and people will say the customer probably deserved it based on nothing but them ordering food at Jack in the Box. I watched this interview because the new story was out, and it's like, oh, he said this, and she said that, whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:31 And then Inside Edition's like, we're gonna get to the bottom of this, we're gonna interview the guy. Yeah, Inside Edition would. It was him holding his phone, no headphones, talking to his phone. In a porta potty. Inside of a porta potty.
Starting point is 00:23:43 There's no two ways about it. If you watch this interview, it's inside of a porta potty. There's no two ways about it If you watch this interview, it's inside of a portable from his office. It sounds like it's inside of a portable It looks like it's inside of a portable. It's inside of like it's If you look at this guy, it smells like it's inside of The idea that Jack in the Box employee pull out guns start blasting What how do you miss? No idea shot shot at this guy didn't even hit his car Cheers there's video of it happening with the bullet goes out the gun the guy starts driving off and it's like hey
Starting point is 00:24:20 We thought that rat got flattened. Yeah He hit a stray rat. Yeah We thought that rat got flattened. Yeah He hit a stray rat though. Yeah Well the rat was asking for curly fries too, so he deserved it I also be there that last line is great because then you could just like you're working at Jack in the Box somebody pulls Up like I'm here for my order Sorry, they're at a jack-in-the-box I feared for my life Sorry, they ran a Jack in the Box.
Starting point is 00:24:45 I feared for my life. In September of this year, it was 2024, Jack in the Box announced a partnership with No Kid Hungry, helping to fight childhood food insecurity. Wait, is this because, is this because, what was it, Einstein? They stopped? The restaurant, which killed four children in the 90s I remember that is hoping that through this alliance they can finally wipe out the pest known as children once and for all oh You're hungry says Jack take a bite out of this click click boom Houston style Craziest charity to partner with for Jack Security makes it sound like the food is insecure Like shortage, I don't know
Starting point is 00:25:38 Like for Jack in the box yeah, it's like even even hungry kids won't eat Jack in the box I'll starve. Do you have any jalapeno? Do you have breakfast? We don't have breakfast. Okay. We don't have the meat and there's no soda Do you have an option? You're not available your vitamin water. Do you have coolly flies? flies And the final fact hey gamers jack-in-the-box is running a PC giveaway We need one app to buy food their press release says you can order 13 tiny tacos one for every hour you'll spend pwning noobs after chowing down or Hot and salty fries and seasoned curly fries perfect for sharing with your NPC buddies.
Starting point is 00:26:25 What an insult. This shit stinks out loud. Win the computer and throw it through a jack-in-the-box window, then make it a looter shooter by stealing the Coke Freestyle Machine while employees shoot at you. Epic win. Epic win. That Coke Freestyle Machine-er. That Coke Freestyle Machine has to be so light right now. There's no
Starting point is 00:26:47 Pick it up. You can pick it up so it's full of peace tea, and that's it. It's a drought Texas drought dude those are your NPC buddies. I know right why did they write that? I don't think they know what that means I've heard my kid call me an NPC Good friend I've heard my kid call me an NPC. I assume it's a good friend Fucking crazy means adventure friend, but if you're watching this right now, you can win this PC. It goes until the 30th Oh, I'll soon be watching you get up right now You know what I mean? No, I mean like well when Eric says if you're watching this right now Yeah, watching this right on the day comes out I mean, but if Eric is saying you're watching this right now as we record it that's impossible are you
Starting point is 00:27:28 watching this I just mean any test you watch so is right now right cuz they're watching no it's right now they're watching it it's later yeah so if you're watching this later but they couldn't be watching are you watching this right now you're somewhere else yeah What was that Christopher Nolan movie? Prime yeah, so good so confusing hey primer primer This is just like that almost hit you in the head I'm going to chuck out the door went too high Christopher Nolan didn't make primer did he yeah, I thought he did didn't he hold on stop the podcast yeah Movie talk this is where we get them who is getting this order or Chris Nolan both
Starting point is 00:28:09 This is how we get Chris Nolan on the podcast One is he American? What is he see British? I think so Shane Carruth writer director, huh? Who what did uh? So he was born in England and he spent a lot of his childhood in Chicago Which is why his brother Jonathan sounds American and he's That's confusing a little bit yeah, yeah fix it you don't like it Christopher Nolan it also your back story It also is weird that it's England in Chicago right like not New York the closer city. That's much bigger, Chicago Yes, do you think he has hot dog opinions? Like, not New York, the closer city that's much bigger? Chicago? Yes. Do you think he has hot dog opinions?
Starting point is 00:28:48 Like, it feels like that's a Chicago thing, right? It's like, you all put ketchup on it, you gotta get the crazy relish. I can't imagine Christopher Nolan eating a hot dog. He would eat it with a fork and a knife if he could struct it. Yeah. For consumption.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Well, he would reverse it out of his mouth and it's style. Right, yeah. Oh out of his mouth, Tenet style. Yeah, shit. Yeah, ingredient by ingredient. This is a good idea. Christopher Nolan, we know you're watching this. Check out Tenet right now. The movie you made.
Starting point is 00:29:16 I like Memento better. I think Memento's his best movie. Conceptually. I think Dark Nights is the best movie by a mile. Mmm, as far as his like, his-the most Christopher Nolan ideas, I like Memento. Did you see how the truck went? Mm-hmm. Remember when the-remember when the um- I feel like Tenet is his worst concept because it's like-
Starting point is 00:29:41 Tenet is too fucking confusing. He's like unhinged. He's like unleashed. Like Inception is the thing where people like to say it's like tenet is too fucking confused. He's like it's just like he's like unleashed like inception is the thing where people like to Say it's confusing. It's no it's so straight. It's just like there's a lot going on and it's like it's a bizarre concept Yes, but you're not like ah Tenet I'm going I just I yeah, I couldn't tell you too much and also at least seeing it upon release It was so hard to fucking hear don't worry. It was like what it was so hard to fucking hear. Don't worry if you watch it. What? It was like the mixing was way off and like the sound effects were so fucking loud. I think it was an iMac. Well watch it with subtitles.
Starting point is 00:30:09 WHAAAAAA! I was like I don't know what is. I already don't know what's happening and I don't know what they're saying. If you watch it now it's the same it sounds like shit. They never fixed it and the subtitles they're all like. Unintelligible? Are you serious? Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Yeah. By design. That's a. The best part of that movie is when they go through the little like I don't know what you would call it, but like where it finally like loops around comes back Long sequence yeah, and like it goes from red to blue vice versa, and it's like cool I don't think I needed the first two hours of this for this moment, but this is neat It's not a movie where I was like oh now that I've seen it I don't think I needed the first two hours of this for this moment, but this is neat. It's not a movie where I was like, oh, now that I've seen it, I understand the concept more. And I'm going to rewatch it. Yeah. Because now knowing what's going on, I just I just went, I'm just not watching it. Yeah, I watched it one time. I don't plan on watching it again. Same.
Starting point is 00:30:57 He's just I've seen I saw Dark Knight five times in the theater. Oh, yeah. Woo. Yeah. The Chris Reynolds, a guy who I I boot every time the Joker lost. Yeah. Uh, Christopher Nolan's a guy who works just better with like constraints. Like, you gotta time up. You can't let him get too
Starting point is 00:31:14 unleashed. Cause you watch, if you just watch like the Batman saga that he made, Batman Begins is too much studio, not enough Christopher Nolan. Dark Knight? Perfect balance. What? Fuckin' perfect perfect, they nailed it. Incredible, he got all of his ideas,
Starting point is 00:31:27 it's a little too long, but that's the way he gets whatever. And then Dark Knight Rises, you just go, it's too much. It's too much Nolan again. Why, simply did you make this? Yeah, I wish I liked the third one more. Me too. It's fine, but like, it just sucks that it's like
Starting point is 00:31:40 the ending of a trilogy, and the first one's fine. The second one is fucking amazing. And the third one's okay. I thought you couldn't understand anything in Tenet. Yeah, and the first one first one's fine. Yep second one is fucking amazing Football stadium, what is he saying? What the hell is he saying? There are so many moments. Let's do Bane and let's do Taj Taj al Ghul yeah and a Cat Catwoman. Yeah. And then we'll put Robin in. A Scarecrow's back. We'll put Robin in, but it won't say until the very end of the movie, that's Robin. Even though we're not making anymore. So who cares?
Starting point is 00:32:10 But also his name is Robin. Why we got to introduce him? I don't understand. The Scarecrow. Oh, he's gone. There are so many parts in that movie. He's a judge. It's a lot.
Starting point is 00:32:18 There are moments in that movie that I could watch a lot, where the guy's telling Bane, I paid you a small fortune, all this stuff. I'm in control. And Bane like I paid you a small fortune all this stuff I'm in control and Bane just goes do you feel in control? And it was like oh my god that's the fucking coolest thing ever and then a bunch more happens and you go this sucks! Oh no the movie peaked at the first scene! The opening was cool yeah that was cool as shit. That's the Nolan I want. The Nolan-y like mid-air heist. Four white guys talking about Batman. This is a podcast, baby. We're podcasting now. Oh shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think we have- oh no, we are all fucked up. Okay, great. No, we're fucked up. Okay, cool. Fuck you. Whoa! In fact. We gotta- we gotta win that computer. This one works. We gotta what?
Starting point is 00:33:00 We gotta win that computer. Oh, so I said lean that computer and you gesture towards neck I'm gonna push him over. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah after I find out what he did on Michael You might oh no It's gonna be the both of you he looks like a sneaky cat the way he looked at me bullshit They're gonna be equally upset. No I Cannot wait to find out whatever the fuck this is what's like crazy. He's really pushing this Who did Tracy it couldn't have been Gracie doesn't know how to work a computer
Starting point is 00:33:38 She'd figure it out for that. I'm texting the ultimate betrayal great. Hey Gracie. Did you go on the page you're on a vote? Did I what yeah Yeah. What do those words mean? You guys have a Patreon? Vote for what? You guys have a Patreon? Can I have my fucking Cinnamon shirt? Yeah. When I told her that it's on its way, she like flipped.
Starting point is 00:33:55 She went crazy. And then she also got one of the embroidered shirts. Wow. Yeah, she like that. Did she pay for it? Fuck no. God damn it. Hey, we're out.
Starting point is 00:34:04 So I need you to subscribe to this Patreon at a higher tier. If that's... We'll give you a shout out. I'm already a grackle. We'll give you, yeah, just move up. We'll give you, 100% fan, we'll give you a shout out. I'll get one?
Starting point is 00:34:15 Yeah. If I just do $1 more? No. Oh, well, no. Moving up is convalescent grackle. You said it. You heard, he said move up. That's true. And I made very clear, I'm just a grackle. And then he said, we'll give you a shout out. You're it. You heard he said, he said, move up. And I made very clear.
Starting point is 00:34:26 I'm just a grackle. And then he said, we'll give you a shout out. You're boxed in, dude. We got you. Yeah, we got to do, we got to do one free compliments. Grackle shot. It's gonna be mine. I'm very disappointed. He is. He is shoring up. I love it. You're just watching him put down sandbags. Just getting ready. Oh, by the way, the thing you said, I'm mad at you. Here comes Milton because Sandbags Here comes Milton because Nick insisted he did not vote on the patreon poll we did he is throwing you under the bus Defend yourself Her response all caps excuse me Oh no, she's not she's in the slack Hang on. Um, Nick?
Starting point is 00:35:08 I hear you're accusing me of acts. I have no committed. Or she fixed it. Not committed. She did fix it immediately. I'm like a Yelp review. Oh my god. Well this is where, oh now Nick's replying. This is where the podcast is taking a turn. Again, remember
Starting point is 00:35:24 when we went, guys we just can't get That's too it's too much. Hang on. Hang on. There's another slide, but Gracie it wasn't me I just took a picture of it says Nick Schwartz and Gracie well Nick that doesn't make it me Dude oh Someone's sowing little seeds of doubt. This is pretty good If it's to be believed which I might as well go along with this journey. It must be one of you two Thing situation oh, I'm sure Russell. Oh, we have been betrayed. Yeah Nick All caps fucking love that You literally like
Starting point is 00:36:14 Nick that doesn't stop working. Yeah, just side-swiped a car driving right now He's flying out the windshield She's like scrambling through broken bones and glass to get to her phone She's like the crow after getting out of that car. Yeah, rolling on the ground. I have to tell Nick. He's an idiot crazy. He's gone chromo. Hell. Yeah Jordan you ready to learn about the food. Yeah, I want to I wish Gracie were here to argue with Yes, we call her You stop I guess Confidence are in I'm gonna conference in Gracie. It's fine. Mommy wrapped monster taco Yeah, a monster sized crispy taco topped with melty American cheese shredded lettuce and taco sauce
Starting point is 00:36:55 Mommy wrapped in a cheesy bacon stuffed warm flour tortilla. Did you get bacon? Excuse me? I barely got the tortilla Mine was all messed up. You think bacon came through? No. Nick's screaming. Oh wait, they were out of breakfast food. Bacon is breakfast food. Bacon is breakfast food.
Starting point is 00:37:15 So that was the mush in there. That mush isn't on this list. It's cheap. What do you mean? The meat. The mystery meat. Oh, it's just their regular, that's what's in their taco. That's in the monster sized crispy taco. Yeah, that's just what's... I's what's in their taco. That's in the monster-sized crispy taco.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Yeah, that's just- I get it, it's just weird you list all the ingredients but not the meat? Well, I think that that might be on purpose. Does the bacon go in the tortilla? The bacon goes- it's tortilla, cheese, bacon, then the taco... Oh! Yeah. They didn't fucking warn us!
Starting point is 00:37:42 He didn't warn us. I mean, he did say they were out of breakfast meats But he didn't say your tacos don't have bacon. It's true. He's right about that Yeah, that place is falling into disrepair. Let's not go back It's gonna be 95 degrees. Yeah That guy's already cooking man Let's go back and talk to him and his NPC buddies Here's the thing if we win the computer,
Starting point is 00:38:06 we'll throw it through the window and we'll go back and recuse him. Also, he can have the computer. Yeah, he can have it. That's fine. I don't want it. The witch please shake. Oreo shake mixed with sweet ube flavors and topped with Oreo cookie pieces and whipped topping. Get two.
Starting point is 00:38:22 One for you and one for your boo. But why does it even say boo? Like a ghost like like they really just wanted to make a joke yeah But like the other one didn't but you you really you could have just went and one for your boo. Yes We're gonna need to go your boo. I just feel like it didn't I got the job I don't think it's a nice to ghost instead of staying on topic with witch like you could say for your coven It's true. You got witch and mummy. I don't see no ghost in your room. You're familiar Your broomstick. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Your... Ube? What are they called? You call that what are they called? Oh your demon or daemon? Sometimes it's spelled daemon. Matt daemon? No, Matt daemon. Matt that's how it all makes sense. I've seen dogma. Pretty good.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Yeah, but he was an asshole. Did he go up at the end? Uh-uh. Well, hell's up. Wow! Matt Demon. Yep, Matt Demon. Uh, Ube. Yeah, I totally called that before the podcast started.
Starting point is 00:39:24 I was like, usually when I see purple I think ube, but I don't think this could be ube simply because I don't think jack-in-the-box knows what that is Yeah, well they fucking tricked you dude. It is a somebody tricked them. It's a very prevalent It's a very prevalent flavor to like you're you're drinking it You're like this is an Oreo shake, but there's something else and whatever else they put in it. It's fucking good Yeah, it was it was great I mean as you can tell yeah, that's why I had to throw it away. Yeah full disclosure Yeah, that's why you can't I said that first I went I sipped it first and 40 seconds later when it went through the straw
Starting point is 00:39:55 Yeah, it was right good. You went here we go Here we go Any day now it's coming. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it was I was very surprised like their Oreo shake is good It's just an Oreo shake, but the it's good with this He's drinking the shake and the beer they go together just like mom does Mom put down the voodoo ranger. Yeah, you gotta take me to soccer practice You have to watch the ride along. Yeah, and then when you're done with the ride along, come back and watch this whole episode.
Starting point is 00:40:29 It'll make more sense than Tenet. Yeah, definitely. It actually will. Loop it all the way through, it's fine. Right, yeah. At some point we loop back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll get it, you'll get it, you'll get it. No, it'll make sense. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is there for some reason.
Starting point is 00:40:44 It's so cool. Yeah, no it'll make sense. Yeah, um well Taylor Johnson is there for some reason We have our own review jack-in-the-box, but before we get to that we need to know what you think in a segment We call you review. What kind of spin would you use? Bar pulse oh is that one that you can make make a phone call on it like it no It just hides the cancer But it's good dude, but a high blue raspberry ice the flavor. Yeah, they have They have like a bunch of these where it's like, oh, it's also like a burner cell phone and you can like Bluetooth Can I look at it? Do you do all your drug deals? This seems like too much lights and shit. Yeah, just thrown away. Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:21 how many uh How many puffs you get on that? I don't know, but there's just a percentage, which is a lot easier to understand. Actually, I do know I lied. It's like 1500. Yeah. Unless you put it on Pulse. Nice!
Starting point is 00:41:32 Then it's like 700. So I don't know what that is. I guess it does. You really want to cut down your life expectancy even faster. You put it on Pulse. You're trying to speed run life. Yeah. I like to mix Blue Razz with cherry and pina colada
Starting point is 00:41:47 And I just take a suck at it in a row well. I've heard of suicides, but this is ridiculous Say it, but I know people to understand what that was yeah didn't say it, but then you said it. That's fine You know I just watched something they talk about that penguin. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah Suicide it's fucking very good. It's really it's shockingly. It's so surprising so much better than Batman. It's like yes, dude It's awesome. Yeah, it's actually awesome. It's like premier. Oh goddamn good Colin Farrell's fucking incredible. Yeah, it's captain It's an actual great like mob story. It's fucking cool. was just like I kept on who gives a shit about I know I was gonna watch like I'm not gonna watch I watch one episode. I was fucking hooked. I barely watched the Batman three-hour movie And I don't remember it. Yeah, it takes place like right after that. I even have like like scenes not from it, but like
Starting point is 00:42:41 Intertwined with it's good. All I remember is the penguin teaching Spanish to buy watched I watched an eight-minute recap Fuck happened to Batman before I watched this because I'm not watching that movie again, right and fortunately very little It's all about like the Falcone family. Yeah. Yeah, it's like okay. Got it. This guy's dead No, it's it's great. And this is a super niche fun fact, but the guy who's an executive producer and he's directed every, I think he directed every episode in this series, he is like childhood friends with the guys who made Homestar Runner.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, crazy. I think he's the one who he may have been like the co-writer of like the little book they did that like spawned the whole thing and then they turned it into a web series. So like he's like deep in the Homestar runner lore and now he's working at HBO as a director.
Starting point is 00:43:33 The cheat making episodes of The Penguin, that's so cool. I watched the first episode and it ended and it said directed by Craig Zobel. And I was like, why do I know that name? Oh, that's crazy. It was somewhere deep in my mind. How funny. I want to watch, now I want to watch that if you guys are you sure it's really
Starting point is 00:43:48 That and there's a three episodes out. There's a show on Hulu Called drama English teacher Yeah, I'm Jordan Alvarez. Yeah, I've seen a lot of clips of that and stuff I saw one clip that made me not want to watch it. Oh really? Yeah, cuz it seemed kind of dumb like in a in a like That's not my style kind of way, but um I I hear good things about yeah, otherwise. Yeah, it looks it looks really funny I want to check that out also, but we need to get to these reviews. Yeah, we need to figure out You kind of kind of just kind of got like a penguin style. Yeah, it's good. Yeah quack quack Well, I mean we're at like four like 44 minutes
Starting point is 00:44:26 You gotta think about the amount of time that he didn't hit the button. It was certainly not two minutes Yeah, I was like six or seven minutes. It was like 15 or 20, but then he fumbled it for a while And then he went it was on Michael Jordan podcast Yeah, anyway the you review Michael I think you should read this first these look like some winners Yeah, they do first review from Daniela G. Oh, I want to point out. This is the first return to the same location Yes, oh Okay, were these ones mined I had to in the interim or I there were some that were more recent Okay, some that I didn't use last time and then I also had to go to one other Jack in the box to find it
Starting point is 00:45:04 So couldn't couldn't quite get them all from this one. You figure out which one it is. Yeah, there you go. All right. Here we go. Daniela G says, I just bought a burger right now. August 25th, 2023. First, they were very rude while ordering. Once I got the food, checked, everything was there. I started eating.
Starting point is 00:45:23 The bacon was very, very hard. The cheese wasn't even melted correctly. And not just that as I was taking a bite, a hair came along. It wasn't mine. One. My hair is straight. That hair was wavy. Food is always cold as well. The place itself looks dirty and not very sanitary now here now here's why my hair is straight that was wavy Uh-huh food is always cool. Where's do now? Here's the thing about her review. I agree with it Which part the last? The place itself looks dirty and not very sanitary yes, sorry Yeah, that place that place is a dump the parking lot's crazy dead rats is squished in the dead squished rats in the yeah
Starting point is 00:46:06 I mean, I can't argue with that um Absolutely zero punctuation. Yeah one comma. No there's a common there somewhere. Yeah, okay two commas. There's also One sentence there's yeah There's not a single period entire thing. I was taking a bite a hair came out a long. Ick is that I know No, I don't think so long a long hair. Oh, do you think your hair came along? I know it wasn't mine. It could be I know It's got also it works. Yeah along a hair came along ick. It wasn't mine Who's the same I just don't know the burger we don't know no, I just bought a burger right now. Yeah
Starting point is 00:46:44 I just don't know the burger. We don't know no. I just bought a burger right now. Yeah Oh, is she listening right now? Yeah, she is listening right now. Yeah. Yeah, you're listening right now. I'm listening later. Mm-hmm During you want to do KS. I'll do KS. Okay KS says if I could give no stars I would. Rude, disrespectful of our money, tried to steal. Told me items were out, yet still charged and I had to say something, they didn't offer money back. They don't need to be in customer services. Fake GM never calls back.
Starting point is 00:47:16 You skipped a whole line. Oh I did? Yeah, I washed their hands. Oh yeah, here it is. Money back. They don't wash their hands. Went at 3 a.m. and they're very dense at that time. Day or night shift, they don't need to be in customer services.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Fake GM never calls back, ever. He played on my phone, did not leave a VM. Voice message. They allow this bald-headed behavior. Trash. That's what I'm telling you, people don't respect bald men. They respect bald eagles, but not bald men. I don't understand it. That's a bald eagles, but not bald men. I don't understand it
Starting point is 00:47:45 That's a bald head behavior bald behavior What do you think he played on my phone? Played on my phone did not leave a well the general manager came over to my house asked if I had any games on my Yeah, he went do you have snake? I oh? So you got candy crush or what? You owe me. Either way, this is bald headed behavior. When you say he played on my phone, did not leave a VM.
Starting point is 00:48:14 It just makes me, it sounds like an STI. Yeah. He was playing on my phone, if you know what I mean. Did not leave a VM. Got no VM. Went at 3 AM and they're very dense at that time Why aren't they at the top of their game at 3 in the matter because they are night shift They don't need to be in customer services. I don't think I don't I don't I don't know
Starting point is 00:48:41 It's a whole jack-in-the-box full of bald-headed behavior I don't know. It's a whole jack-in-the-box full of bald-headed behavior You gotta start saying it Yeah, I could just mean whatever Could be like one of the three stooges or it could be like Lex Luthor or The extra take the world over each other with oversized mallets could be it could be anything Yeah, could be like could be like from the avatar. Yeah, right That kids got some That hook is running around bald head behavior big time
Starting point is 00:49:23 I'm so excited to find out Come back and listen to this episode we're going that little kid from avatars got baldhead behavior Oh my god you want to read the third one um it's up to you coin toss what you think I don't I'll do it Okay, he usually does okay cool because this I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I read the first line of this one. Yeah. Hey, hey That's always a good sign. This one's this is pretty good. Okay Always try to save the best for last always try save the best. All right. This is Elizabeth II. Okay. She says two employees laughed about pissing in my water during COVID-19 a New manager called Cecil and a female who refused to tell me who she was no uniform name tag
Starting point is 00:50:14 Said none of my business called police officers for saying they contaminated my food during COVID-19 also took video of them both handing me a water telling me it piss in it. All because I asked for a free large water or agreed to pay for the large cup Argued they could only give me a medium free when I asked for two medium free cups if they will not let me pay for a large cup one dollar then they left here is your free large water with piss Tried to charge me four dollars for water Then said he is a large
Starting point is 00:50:50 Contaminating a person's food not a funny joke police were called Do you Do you think it's only a problem to give you pissing a cup during COVID-19? Guys, it's COVID-19. I can't be drinking your piss water. I'm gonna get sick. Maybe in a year. This will be fine Maybe in two years, but this is a goddamn pandemic. This isn't 2018. God damn it It's not 2019 anymore. You can't be drinking piss water Also pee sterile I can't be drinking piss water. What?
Starting point is 00:51:23 Also pee sterile. No covenant, no covenant in your pee. Hey, here's your water. There's piss in it. Not funny. Police were called. What are they saying? When I ask for two medium free cups,
Starting point is 00:51:39 if they will not let me pay for a large cup, one dollar that they left here is your free large water with piss Jordan It's also you also made it sound like they give her piss and water there was piss in that water Go back and watch Jordan just struggle try to charge me four dollars for water dot dot dot dot. Then he's a large. Now see that's funny though. There's no jokes. There's no COVID jokes there. He is a large. I am a large. He's talking about his shirt size That was fucking good. To start a review two employees laughed about pissing in my water during COVID-19
Starting point is 00:52:41 And it just gets crazier. I read that before he started and I stopped and I have to be honest Just assumed the rest of it would be normal and about his daughter And it just kept going I saw I saw the movie titane the other day. Oh, yeah, just kept going Yeah, just like that just like that review. Oh I can't recommend that film. I gotta be honest. I wouldn't watch it again. I feel like Megalopolis might be prime We should go see that movie together Boy, it's gonna be something There are no places in Austin where the screen talks to the guy I know, I was looking for it on like the opening weekend You said that and I was thinking about it And I was like, why would Jordan want us to go see that
Starting point is 00:53:14 I don't understand, and then I realized you weren't talking about Megamind That was like a burp laugh throughout I know, it's a funny movie dude you got Brad Pitt, you got Bill Farrell. I'm picturing Adam Driver doing the eyebrow thing. Yeah, I was thinking about it. I was like hmmm. You think one year of medical school entitles you to plunge the depths of my emersonian mind? I'm more feral
Starting point is 00:53:45 You really said mega mind and I fucking lost it I almost fucking puked You really almost fucking threw up I threw up once like that from alcohol as a kid We were drinking, I was probably like 17 or 18 We had fucking Mike's Heart Lemonades Oh yeah, the good stuff It's like I was probably like 17 or 18. We had we had fucking Mike's heart lemonades. Oh, yeah We got the good stuff we we bought a fucking
Starting point is 00:54:10 we bought like a tube and A valve from Home Depot and we made it we made a funnel. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah, but so so you guys are so new We have to drink right away. Yeah, just close the valve Yeah, and then and then pour it and then you yeah I'm sorry did that with with like a bottle or two bottles of Microsoft lemonade Oh my god, and I drank the whole thing and then I burped anyway It was just a belt there was but I instantly got drunk My body absorbed out the alcohol and I've run it everything else
Starting point is 00:54:41 It was as what he just did All the impurities left here, and you just retained My god anyway police were 21 so 21 sir he were at the Home Depot. We asked a guy like hey How would you make this and he's like oh, I'll show you And he got the to be cut it. He's like you put this in here, and you put it in that and you're like, this is awesome. You guys are 21, right?
Starting point is 00:55:09 Thanks man. No, no, he was like, I don't care how old you are, can I come? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm 21, do you need someone to buy you a beer? I was just gonna say, you have 25 bucks, I'll buy you a sixer. My shift's over in an hour. I do want to touch on this because this feels like a person that is trying to get so much and Then oh my face probably do this so often. Oh, yeah, the people working there are just like here's your water. There's piss in it
Starting point is 00:55:35 No, we pissed in it Can I have a free large water no I could give you medium I am a free large water? No, I give you media I am a large Medium or large piss and you're gonna want the large Take the piss water. Yeah, I guess I could dump it out. You won't give me a large. Can I have two mediums? Yeah, two medium pisses We'll call the cops We're pissing off the law. Stop!
Starting point is 00:56:03 We'll call the cops! Exactly. That's how all this went. This is my female friend who won't tell you their name, no uniform name tag. But there's piss in this! I'm Cecil. Well, we don't think that there's piss in any of our food. I don't think there was piss in it.
Starting point is 00:56:20 No. Dude, if there was piss in the shake, load it up with some more. I'll have another. One piss please! Fill her up. No, if there was pissing the shake Because this was good, I'll have what you're pissing But we need to get to the actual review and what you guys thought about This mummy wrapped monster taco and and the witch shake. Taco fucking sucks. The shake was great. You didn't like the taco? Mine was all messed up.
Starting point is 00:56:48 His was a fucking shit show. I gotta be honest, his was an absolute shit show. Although I think if it had been made correctly, I'm not sure the structural integrity would have been any better. It would have been exactly the same. It was a mess. The whole thing was a mess.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Like I would have kept eating it. It was just so hard to handle that I gave up on it. But the shake was great. This is like easily like a 90. The shake is so fucking good. On its own. The fucking messy, the gasp was, like you just saw a sourdough sandwich.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Ah! The, the taco was- We've been doing this show for a long time. which The taco was doing the show for a long time Motherfuckers gasping like you saw breakfast I Break he was already fed up with him at that point so yeah, I said all of jalapeno Forgot I also forgot he he he ordered it he tried to order the breakfast they didn't have it Then he got the wings Got a little tripped up sorted out got the wings then turned, I was gonna get something and then you got so many wings and I was like I don't want anything. Especially because I just sat in the car like I'm not that hungry.
Starting point is 00:58:11 I was like just gonna be so mad if I had something else when I thought about it. Like no I'm good. He turned to him and he went, jalapeno. And you went, you turned around to the guy working there and you went I fucking had it with this You can rehear it on the ride alone, but There has to be more than just a word. There has to be large, medium, seven. It's a fucking large! Fuck it! Fuck it!
Starting point is 00:58:55 Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it! The grand total of all our food was so ex- it was so expensive. How much was it? I feel like you were gonna tell us. $77. Whoa. That was a lot. That lot is a lot of food how much are those wings? Yeah, the shakes are six a piece the tacos all expensive all in all or 12 bucks
Starting point is 00:59:16 That's nothing yeah, talk of fucking cheap. Yeah, and they suck the wings were nine dollars each They're not good enough for that. The curly fry was $4.50. The jalapeno poppers was $6.30. What the fuck? Well, they charge you more because they don't shoot at you. Oh, that's, yeah. Anymore.
Starting point is 00:59:36 And you get a no piss surcharge. Sir, take that off. Yeah. I want 50 cents back and piss in my cup. Piss in the large, I'll give you bacon I didn't so that's a little disappointing Yeah, so that is gonna bring it down significantly am I throwing the wings in this equation, too No, they're not technically part of it, but I mean if you want to well You can put this on. The fucking like the sriracha honey Tick tock tick tock
Starting point is 01:00:20 That was the worst thing that fucking sucked What was wrong with those? The other wings were fine Garlic parmesan was pretty good garlic parmesan was okay That was the worst thing that fucking Fine Okay, it's pretty good. I'll just always okay. That was pretty good the buffalo was whatever yeah, the buffalo was buffalo honey sriracha That I literally that was the last thing I ate and everyone had finished eating and you were like cleaning up the shit Yeah, I've been holding off on this. It's a good bite. What the fuck? Hey, this fucking sucks. It's really fucked. I went for it before anyone else
Starting point is 01:00:48 and I like kept my opinion to myself because I was like I probably just don't like this I imagine everyone else will You want to taint the pool. Yeah and I'm not going to rain on everyone's parade proactively, preemptively and then Michael had it and goes what the fuck I was like okay good, it wasn't just me
Starting point is 01:01:04 He's like it fucking sucks right? Okay good. Yeah. And then Michael had it goes what the fuck I was like okay good Alright so not throwing the wings into the equation. I'm gonna say the fucking taco brings it down Brings it down to like a 57 okay, and a lot of that is the heavy lifting from the shake get get this shake Yeah, the shake was really really good It was a fucking good shake, and if you only order the shake it should probably only take 20 minutes Michael just kept looking around the restaurant going did you order 1 million items? Yeah? We kept talking and I would I would alternate back and forth by going it's not a video, but I would go And then I every now and I go You'll hear it several times Whistling the empty
Starting point is 01:01:51 95 degree Rest and it goes do you think we can hear this like on the mic and he just dropped the packet on the ground Probably can't we heard it. Yep. Oh, we all you can hear was the sound of heat. Yep nothing no human life And the moves that and boy band yeah boy band the band is like AI Go to our description at this episode if it says music from or from the ride along if it says like Music from and an artist then you too heard it also. Yeah From the right along if it says like music from and an artist then you too heard it also. Yeah
Starting point is 01:02:31 That's how quiet it was um, but I was actually surprised with the taco for as much as it had going on It had a lot of good elements and mine yours was a fucking mess mine came out like I think as it's supposed to like a crunch Rat but yes this this like they didn't have the bacon mm-hmm, okay, and I was like what is the like your meat product here? I was like what is the meat product here? I got no answers for you because it's like it it was like refried pinto beans but not beans that's their meat it was just mush yeah and it was like flavorless soy yes and so I'm just like man if there was a meat in here like this might actually be a good taco If they're like the taco was crunchy yeah, I was like the cheese was good the sauce like it actually had potential
Starting point is 01:03:12 But there was no goddamn meat And then it was missing the bacon like like that top if you put like Taco Bell meat in that taco It probably would have been pretty fucking good. Yeah, it's Taco Bell shit, but still. And I was just like, man, I feel like I'm eating just the toppings. Yeah. You know, it's like I'm eating all the ingredients at the salad bar to make the taco, but you didn't give me the goddamn meat.
Starting point is 01:03:35 That's what it tasted like. So that sucked. The shake was fucking great. And then the, you know, not rating, but the wings are fine. The sriracha sucked ass. Curly fries, fucking delicious. They're so good, aren't they? I'm not going to put them into the rating, but the wings are fine. This is just sucked ass Curly fries fucking delicious. They're so good. I'm not gonna put them into the rating, but they were More than Jordan and here's the other thing too the shake was good like it's sweet It's a fucking milkshake, but it wasn't like heinous cuz I would be like no yeah
Starting point is 01:04:02 Very nice balance so thick I'm gonna give it a 65 65 That's an average score of 61 for Jack in the Box for this one 61 61 Jack in the Box dude You think that's the highest they've ever gotten definitely for higher than 41. Yeah, I mean I mean, it was definitely better than the last time but but the trade-off is we have to go there to get it And it's not feeling good. We should pick a different one next time. Yeah, but now we're gonna break tradition Yeah, tough, but then how else is this? Well, where am I supposed to circle in the parking lot Jordan?
Starting point is 01:04:36 Where will I get my piss? Why she was so was gonna say was the piss one. I know it's a different one Yeah, I think it was I go to the piss one. I think that was the one at the Hancock Center. Ah, we've been to that one before. Oh yes, we have. Cock and piss go hand in hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where I had Kat grab the,
Starting point is 01:04:51 or where Kat decided to get the tiny tacos from the Hancock Center. She decided. My best interest. Wow. I'm gonna text Kat and say you're throwing her under the bus. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:05:01 She's not in the Slack, it's okay. I bet she won't reply. No. I don't have her number. Well, that's what we thought about this. I agree. I think in large part with what you guys said, it's Monster Taco. Pretty decent. I love the tacos there because it's just trash.
Starting point is 01:05:18 What is it? YouTube short? You don't get a review. And good. Good shake. Found a way. But you can go 100 eat dot store right now for our new merch which is out now probably international shipping new
Starting point is 01:05:33 designs go check it out do you think we're rich yet no you think we're gonna throw up again priming less yeah yeah i think yeah i think we're like a 10 cents i think we might be poor i think we're coming in under i don't know i don't know how we're in the red, but we're in red. We're breaking uneven. Absolutely. Um, it's going to be we'll see how it goes. But you can go to full of confidence 100% eat.my Shopify.com if 100% eat.store doesn't work one way or the other. You can also listen to the Michael Jordan podcast this week on patreon.com slash 100%eat. What the fuck are we about to get into with Nick? Very excited to find out. Listen to that in every other episode as well. Follow us at 100%eat on Twitter and Instagram.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Stay up to date on everything. And you can send us stuff to PO Box 143241 Austin, Texas 78714. PO Box 143241 Austin, Texas 78714 PO Box 143241 Austin, Texas 78714 Very nice. Wow. We don't have any fan shoutouts, but I'm thinking We should like reset it. Oh, yeah, definitely or something. Yeah, and I'll do the first one Yeah, sign up cuz he said all I gotta do is well I mean you'll work your way up like one dollar
Starting point is 01:06:42 No, you'll go up to compliments crackle and then we'll need you to up again, and you'll go to 100% fan. Oh That's perfect. That was pretty good alright, so write and subscribe to a friend about the show we eat the food and write the food and Sign up for a patreon alright. Let's go else. Let's end this so we can find out what Nick did Holy shit he got it. Yeah, ding ding ding. He like put Shinco in the background.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.