100% Eat - Jordan Go Home %% Subway Footlong Oreo Cookie

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

As an empath Nick screams because there have been sauce changes at a different restaurant. Why did Jordan derail the podcast? Anyway, Our Heroes head back to Subway to get ANOTHER footlong cookie but this time its Oreo. What are the Monkey Macros on this thing? Ready to learn about Subway and subway? What's the plan, Ted? FRWBYS forever. FOOD COURT RETURNS Monday February 17th at 6pm CT on our discord. Join at patreon.com/100percenteat Sponsored by Mando. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code EAT at shopmando.com! #mandopod Also sponsored by ExpressVPN. Get an extra four months FREE at ExpressVPN.com/percent And you can grab a shirt or hat now at https://100percenteat.store/ because maybe some news coming soon on this. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Court is in session. Food Court returns this Monday, February 17th at 6 p.m. Central time. That's 4 p.m. Pacific, 7 p.m. Eastern. You can check it out on our Discord. Get access to the Discord at patreon.com slash 100 percent eat. Summons have been sent. The Monkey Bailiff is ready to kick you out. Be there for all the action this Monday, February 17th at 6 p.m. Central.

But for now, enjoy the episode. Welcome to 100% Eat, the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. Swear word. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my cohost, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you?

I'm good. Happy to be here. Excellent. I have... I didn't know we were giving that. I have to, I'm gonna derail the podcast immediately. Is that possible? We are not even on the... How do you derail?

How do you derail this? Because I'm gonna spin him up. Oh, this is exciting. Oh shit, are you Miles Morales? Because you're about to get spun. There's a- there's a sauce controversy going on. What? A sauce-a-versy? A sauce-a-versy?

Where? I'll tell you where. The- the aisles of our very own HEBs. Taco Deli has changed the recipe of the salsa-donut. No! The-donut? I'll kill you! That they sell at HEB. Taco Deli has changed the recipe of the salsa donna. No, the don't. Yeah, that that kill you. They sell at H.E.B. No. What do you do?

And I know this because he doesn't he doesn't even know. Is it better? I know this because my my wife orders it and she she uses she uses the salsa on her breakfast. She makes like a yeah, he's there. Being watching an egg sandwich with the jal on her breakfast. She makes like a vegan egg sandwich with the jalapeno sauce. And we order like a new one every week. Holly goes through like hot sauce.

She's a fiend. She's a spice rat of the highest order. Big time, big time. It was not available for a couple of weeks. They were like, what is going on? It was just gone everywhere. And she couldn't find it anywhere. Not just at our HEB, any HEB.

Did she check Reddit? And then, they know everything. They'll come into play later. Oh! This is getting derailed at the beginning. I like this. This is exciting. And then it popped back up.

Thank God, right? Thank God. That's what we all thought. That's what Nick was saying. You were saying, thank God. I'm right there And then it popped back up. Thank God, right? Thank God! That's what we all thought. That's what Nick was saying. You were saying thank God. You were telling him. She opened it.

Before you got to what you were saying, he was like this. She opened it and she tried it and she goes, I think they changed it. No! It's now like 100% garlic. Wow, really? And no like spicy. Yeah, it's just like she said she can't eat it anymore And she wanted to still eat it. Hold on. There's any left. I

have like she She stocked up on them when they came back just in case they went away again, so we have way too many I mean, they're all in a how many hollies they got out there Stocked up money. I'll take it. You just laid out how it's inedible, she doesn't want it, and Nick the whole time has been screaming, No, no, no! And then also, I'll have it. I want all of it.

And then it's ending with, and can I have it, and I can take it, and it will be mine. It will be Bunky Money. The only thing he loves more than sauce, especially spicy sauce, is sauce is free sauce right, but also we don't know I don't know what it tastes like it. Why are you screaming? No, because are you screaming? No? Her I hate that that that happened her No, he's not I wish She was An empath he would he would act differently if he was in a bath this is a different show

The actual taco deli now to get the don't you to see if the real one is now see that's what that's where I'm yeah We gotta figure out too is like is it different at the restaurant or is it just different at the store level? To make sure she keeps saying Michael Jordan podcast to make sure she- Just keep saying Michael Jordan podcast. To make sure she wasn't just imagining this. She did check Reddit. He doesn't have anything- by the way, his idea is to compare these two flavors. He doesn't have the thing to compare it to.

Not yet. Jordan go home. I was gonna bring it, but I forgot. Jordan go home. Jordan go home. Will go home. His idea- Sorry, I got excited. His idea is let's go eat Jordan go home. Jordan go home. We'll go home. His idea. Sorry, I got excited. His idea is let's go eat Jordan go home. Look at Banner Michael. This is Nick the empath who had to be told by Jordan, you are now annoying me.

Maybe I should vocalize it more. I should let him know. No, you don't need to do that anymore. Clearly he's not picking up on my think. That's not what you think. That's not what you think. Jordan, go home. Jordan will go home. He can bring it back.

Michael will go home too when we're done. So, some of the speculation on Reddit is that they have a new CEO. And they're trying to cut costs. And, you know, you always get experts in the comments on reddit. Oh, yeah, they know that's where experts are bred This person says as a former GM for taco deli I can tell for absolute sure Good sentence that the company is cutting cost and milking every location for every penny to get to 20 restaurants So that they can bring an investment company to go national. Oh, the franchise did. The same way Torchies did.

So that's why the sauce is bad now. Guaranteed. You are reading, we're getting to the you review segment in five minutes. Maybe it's just that batch. Like, that's where we're at. Most of the comments also say, oh, make it yourself. Yeah, it's just, it's just a, it's a pretty basic sauce, I think. That also, I don't want to make anything myself. No, hell's just, it's just a, it's a pretty basic sauce. I think. That also, I don't wanna make anything myself.

No, hell no. I don't want to. Not, not just the will it taste the same. I don't wanna make it. I agree. That's why I'm going to Subway and buying a sandwich. I could make that. I don't want to.

I don't wanna go. We should go to Subway. I don't wanna go shopping and get the ingredients and make it and then go, it's just as good. It'd probably be better, but I don't give a shit. I don't wanna go shopping and get the ingredients and make it and then go, it's just as good. It'd probably be better, but I don't give a shit. I don't wanna eat the goddamn sandwich now. They have that new Subway Oreo Footlong thing. I've heard about that.

We should try that. Here's the thing. I agree with Michael. I also don't wanna make the food. I want Jordan's wife to not eat it so I can have it. Okay. And also I want him to go home. And I want Jordan to go home. And I want Jordan to go home.

Jordan go home? Jordan go home? Will go home. I'm just excited. So I think it's probably the title of the episode is Jordan go home. Jordan go home? Yeah.

Yeah. Hang on, let me check right now. I really feel for your wife. I feel like I can. As an empath. As an empath. It's been a huge disruption to- Yep, there it is. Oh, there it is. There it's been a huge disruption disruptions. Yeah, it is

Stop showing me your Pokemon. I'm not showing you I'm gonna battle except how many hours you up to These are rookie numbers. I just got the game. You know last weekend. Mm-hmm 532 that's pretty good that you're making the most of your time because the curve is up there, yeah. I've been putting the work in. What are you giggling about over there? You guys started talking about Pokemon and Nick went, and reached for the cookie

and then saw me looking at him and he went, I see. No? Yep, he's still shoveling it in. It's for a job well done. He's rewarding himself. I contribute it and I felt. So somebody left a comment

And we are stealing this and it is given to us and we are doing this you've been talking about monkey money for a long time Yeah, absolutely we get longer than we even remembered actually yeah If you make a comment, it's a good idea we get oh yeah, that's ours um so they it's a if it's a bad idea Fuck you. That's right, and honestly, most of them are that. We're still gonna take it. But, yeah, pretty good. So they said, oh, it's like, hey, monkey money. We know what that is.

They introduced monkey macros, which is calories don't count when it's monkey money. Right, if you had eaten the other half of that burger, you didn't bet I didn't eat. It didn't count. It wouldn't have counted. So here's the thing. I gave- Monkey macros. I only ate half of my sandwich, and I gave the rest to Nick. Yeah, I didn't eat and it wouldn't have counted so so here's the thing I gave monkey macarons

I only ate half of my sandwich, and I gave the rest to Nick It does Are you eating the monkey Oreo thing that it's just still the first one okay? The other ones in the fridge where you are hey if you are freaking out looking for it Jordan I just want to remind me to remind Nick that Michael stuck his finger in that one. He doesn't give a shit Yeah, he thought he thought about it. There's like do I give a shit no he didn't he didn't think that long about do I give a shit He instantly didn't give it show and his thought was how should I react? How would an empath be? Yeah, that's an empath.

How do I convey? I felt for him, so I did it. He wanted to feel what I touched. Nick is eating the food today of what we got. What did we get? What's the food today? I don't know. No, it's on the paper.

It's way down there though. He just showed it. You put it at the top for you. All right. Subway Oreo Footlong Cookie And that's it! I said it, why are you laughing? And Nick was- Empathize with me!

And Nick was howling for it. He was going fucking nuts as usual. He also was bewildered about what to order at Subway. And started yelling, What happened to you? Go now, you know what you want, you know what you want. He just kept going, too many things, too much, it's Subway. First time he's been to a Subway.

No. It's not the same without his dad. No one was there to hold up the line and go, convention in town? He wouldn't have let me get mayonnaise. I'm kidding, that's not true. He would make me get extra mayonnaise. And I hated it. I hated it. Last true. He would make me get extra mayonnaise. And I hated it! I hated it!

Last time... He said mayonnaise makes men. Ha ha ha ha ha! Eat the mayonnaise or Nick go home. This is the same subway we went to last time. And if you remember, that was the second subway that we went to because the boss in his subway didn't have the foods, we had to go to this other one.

We just started and went to this one. Yeah. Yeah, which was I'm a little disappointed Jordan wanted to go You know, even if he didn't have it, which he probably didn't he would have been nice to it would have been nice to see Disputing hey, it would have been fun. It also would have taken longer. I am disputing is maybe they have it. No, they don't Came out nationwide like two days ago. He does not have it. I don't think anyone is under The delusion that he would have had no no, but I would have liked to see yeah Yeah, what I check in on the boss So we go back we go we can do with the ball

We can go there and then the other one. Wow. Go home. The skies go home. Jordan, go home. I gotta go home first and then we can do the podcast. Yeah, we'll meet you there. No, you won't. Subway or at his house? This guy's dope. You gotta ask, dude. He's empathizing with you so he wants to live in your house. This guy's crazy. He's just trying to understand how. Also, how is this gonna take the sauce from you? It doesn't go to your house. Doesn't even have Sriracha sauce in the drawer. Yeah, what's up with that? I'm just kidding that wasn't Sriracha. No, it wasn't and and I found chili sauce and he kept going there It is I went that's not Sriracha. That's chili and he went same thing same and I looked at Nick

I went and he went it's not the same thing. Which I'm willing to believe him because it doesn't say Sriracha So it's expert He can also read I was inclined to believe it's not in big letters. This is not I've never seen sriracha not called But it's it that's close enough And then also that Nick was talking about how this where the sriracha is at his house and what the bottle size is Yeah, and like where it's kept. I was like, you don't have any?

And he's like, well, I have some at my office. It's at home, right? It's at home, in my desk. Maybe. And I went, great. That's helpful to me right now. That is a, I have a flight coming back from Chicago. Does that help Mo?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy. Also, even if he wouldn't give it to me anyway, right? Yeah. Yes, it is You would just give me your bottle a small one. You only have one what size

Okay, would you give a bottle this size? Yeah, sure would you give a bottle this size size size size is irrelevant to quantity He wouldn't give me a bottle of any size if it was the only one he had. That's not true! If he had a bottle this big and it was the only sriracha in his house, it would be even more valuable than a large bottle, because he couldn't part with it. Right, scarcity. Go get a bigger one later. I hardly added any size and he went, no. No!

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. My sriracha! If you were an empath, you know how fucking pissed I was right now. Take it from me, Nick. Don't count on the fact that you can just go to the store and get the same thing you've always had. Well, do you know about sriracha? Like they change their thing.

Like the peppers are different for like actual sriracha. And then the guy who had the pepper farm, it's like making his own brand. Yeah, yeah, I had heard about it. It's for investors. Oh, finally, private equity is coming to Atlanta sriracha. Great, finally. I love private equity. Thank you to Atlanta, Sriracha. Wow, great. Finally. I love private equity.

Thank you. Yeah, it's been doing great. Yeah. If there is there a way if you're involved in private equity and you want to and you want to buy this podcast, that's fine. I'll be into that. Like, yeah, he does like it. Yeah, money.

Yeah, now we're talking. Yeah. Yeah, that's just money. I think. Oh, everything isn't monkey money. Every transaction you can't just say everything He's getting otherwise it's like stops making sense. Yeah, cuz it made so much money Stops making sense is the day I throw in the towel that that's when you know this podcast is over. Take me off this earth

Take me off this tweet And you what are you guys's way pinions subway? It's subway you want to say much go to subway it good? Not really. I mean bad is it bad not really. I mean we were standing there waiting to shovel it down We're sitting there waiting to order. I started ordering and then I looked back and went You guys know what you want and then let me tell you why that surprised and then Nick went You immediately turn went you know what you want? And I went thanks. Thanks for passing it down the line. I didn't hear him four feet away from the other guy in the store I Even if you didn't know I didn't respond because I was like I'm not getting yeah, George

I was like I was like taking a back. It was like you're asking me if I want something other than the food We're getting yeah, yeah, what it's just even if you didn't know what is what he wanted Maybe like I'm not sure what I want you Michael you go. What do you want? What do're getting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? It's just, even if he didn't know what he wanted, maybe like, I'm not sure what I want yet. Uh-huh, yeah, Michael, you go. What do you want? What do you want? Yeah. I'll just repeat what I just heard, louder.

And then he's looking at the board, going, too many choices. He had to scream over the door buzzer. God damn, that thing was so loud. But Jordan didn't get a sandwich. I got a little six inch and I ate like part of it and then gave the rest to him. You got a footlong and you like housed that thing.

I was hungry, man. Man, that's wild. I was hungry, but not Nick-like, where I didn't come here and go, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Hey, he ate a piece of cheese to tie himself over. To tie him over. He ate a single piece of cheese.

Tied him over for what, three hours? And a juice. I was gonna eat before I came here. I worked out, which I was extra hungry then. I looked at the clock and I said, well, it makes no sense to eat now. I would get home, eat, and then leave, and then come here.

Where is that cutoff for you? Like, if I look at the clock. Depends on what we're eating. And it's like. I think that's a great point. Also just on like a regular day for like making it to dinner. I have no time, I don't.

Really? I don't have any dinner. That doesn't surprise me at all. I don't have dinner. I have no time. I don't really Eat when I want if it's two o'clock, and I haven't eaten lunch Because I'm so routine based. Yeah, you know like I'll probably we're probably eaten 637 yeah those nights, so I'm like well It's almost dinner. Mm-hmm, so I'll just have a little snack or something. Yeah, that'll be cheese to tie yourself That routine which I do sporadic he just went that's what I do Thing you reference that he did that's what he does just like not looking

I see him all over the place. I mean like I'm like in a semicircle this guy You think he can do that yourself over yourself over? Do you think he's picking up the vibe that I'm annoyed with him? No. Do you think I should tell him? There's low signal in here for his empathy. Empathy readings. I don't know that I'm ever gonna forget. And bring back the song. Yeah, but I'll come back. When are you coming back? And bring back the song. Go home.

When are you coming back? Are you on your way? Can you share your location with me? I know where he lives. That doesn't tell you how far away he is if he leaves. Don't worry. Jordan go home. I know where he lives. If he Don't worry Nick'll show up at your house and be like I know where he lives always not here. Yeah, well, I'll just wait out here eating my

No, I eat I'll stand at the door and eat slices of cheese absolutely. I don't do it to tide me Oh, no, I do it cuz I was like I'm looking for something to eat Let me eat this piece of cheese first and then get and then figure it out. I'll do that. This is my thinking cheese I just go I stand there You know what you ain't wrong yeah, look I don't have anything I don't have to think about it. She's good Yeah, look. I don't have anything. I don't have to think about it. She's good. Yeah Oh, dude, I've totally done that to where it's like I got all right now. Let's go back to business I don't I don't know what I want, but like let me like have this bag of chips

I'm eating a bunch of chips. We're like well I'm like what do I have and then I'm full on ships well see for me. It's risk-free though because We need cheese in my house for things like for school lunches and things. I will never go to my fridge and eat five slices of cheese because that would fuck me. I need to make like a sandwich and I don't have cheese. That would ruin your whole like economy. It would make it would be so much work for me. Yes. I would then have to get more cheese. I can't I can't just go like sucks for someone else. You describe this also you live in like an

Uncrustables economy where it's live in like an Uncrustables economy where it's like you have the Uncrustables but you can't be the one to eat. You don't, you're gonna- They're gonna tie me over. Exactly. They're not gonna tie me over. Yep.

Now that said, if it's brand new cheese unopened, I'll go for two, easy. I hear that. That's free, I just bought it. There are so many slices. But like today, I made, I made, I made, he's just, he's agreeing And it doesn't matter what he was gonna say is he's just on board here. Oh, he just like

We need to either put him back in the monkey mask so that like it's associated with like does not wear it very often Do you think he misses you or he needs to be like a does he make okay? I'm up it like a little like in the corner Yeah, oh, yeah Good job. I'm Nick. I'm fine with you freaking the fuck out I mean I hammer you for it, but I still like you I would rather you do it Um I made uh Big like and cheese sandwiches this morning.

I made two of them. I had four slices of cheese. Whoa! And I was like... Did he tie it over? No. This is... this guy... No, no. He's trying to get ahead of it.

Correct. Correct. Correct. Meaning... Am I right? Am I right? You're correct. Yeah? Meaning, there was only two slices left. Can't eat one. I can't eat a piece of cheese. There's only two slices left.

Right. So I didn't. I refrained. you you and you you had your indulgence. I Was making a sandwich? Yeah, that's right for slice of cheese We both eat four slices of cheese. There was four and I made two sandwiches. I was like only two left Can't just eat a slice of cheese. This cheese has a job to do Yes, when there's like 10 12 slices this some of this cheese has no job, right? So I'll eat it no world is your always no one will notice When your cheese rich matter one one one?

Yeah Boy that really describes like when you have a thousand hourglasses in the Pokemon go well on training. It's not like I would know You can't use them. Yeah, I say you could feel like you could go I and then you would use something to be like I just think it'd be a great I'm gonna use it. I'm glad you finally brought up Pokemon I Got I got his back So many level 14 back on track dude You were like level three when you sent me a friend I know and I changed to chubby Pikachu because you were slowpoke

And then is that what level were you when I said call me when you get hit, Montana? And then you called me to say Check your text Was funny is cuz initially I was gonna do exactly what Jordan just send him the picture I was gonna send a picture with the phone emoji and then I went no I'm actually gonna call him and then as I was orchestrating that you sent the text. Yeah perfect Yeah, getting from every it was very funny if any of us was going to do it. I knew it would be you My wife went I didn't what was that and I went um I told him call me you get a hitman Chan He already had one so he called me yeah, and she went I don't and then I also like that he

Has she not know what that is. I mean 151 dude. She doesn't know right one of the you know that is she was alive How do you avoid that that's like someone going? Come on dude the only fucking Pokemon boxing gloves. Yeah, you're always lying to you. She's a poke fan I know she just drinks Mountain Dew call a duty I did like that Eric followed up saying I did that assuming. I didn't film it. Yeah, he did it was very funny It's very funny We hangs up he goes all right. Yeah, bye lose this number. It was a very funny video. And then he ended up, he hangs up and he goes, all right, yeah, bye. Lose this number.

And then he goes, it's like, you called me. Yeah, and now you have my number, unfortunately. Delete it, please. Please. It's weird with him in the mask. No, it's not. It's normal. It's very normal.

It looks great. It looks great on me. It looks insane. That camera looks awesome. If you can watch the YouTube version, just for a second, come check it out right now and look it out. He's in freak mode in the bottom corner. That guy's chillin', man.

He's just chillin'. I'm cheesin'. I'll cheese you. This all started because you talked about how a hot sauce is different, and he screamed. It only took 20 minutes. He screamed no for like three straight Sauces Jordan go exactly what was going to happen it's like

I figured you know like it was Uneventful subway trips, I don't know We're good, that's fine. You know what I agree because I mean, we bail in eight minutes. We bail in eight minutes. No, no, we're good. All right, that's fine. You know what? I agree, because I just want to talk about Pokemon the whole time anyway. Yeah, that could be the Michael Jordan one.

Yeah, maybe we should play. Tune in. Pager.com slash 100%. Or BurgerGauntlet.com. BurgerGauntlet.com. Well, that's a roundabout way to get there. And honestly, don't all go to BurgerGauntlet.com. Everyone go now.

It breaks the website. Dude, dude, when I signed up for hosting, I was like, well, they have this one. It's like 15,000 like visitors it can handle. Yeah. I was like for a dollar more it could it could do like 25,000. Uh-huh. I guess I'll do that one. And I'm glad I did because the website is so slow. It got annihilated. I like I like I've looked at at it a couple times and it's straight-up like AOL Like it loads like this. It really? It loads the picture. There's all pictures and some words. The words are there and then the picture goes

Rrraaam, raaam, raaam. It's like downloading a Cindy Margolis photo like a JPEG in 1998. Let me tell you another thing too Is that Hot Woman? Yeah, she was like the most I was gonna say porn and he said a name and I went we must be thinking the same thing He's just more dialed in. Yeah, but I empathize. Well it was like when Nick is talking about loose change Not like that. Man he was really locked into that. He just knows more about it. Nick loves if you know about that just know what he was saying. I know what the fuck he was talking about We know you keep saying that he keeps saying 9-eleven 9-eleven I don't know what the fuck he was talking about. Fair enough. It's the 9-11 thing. You keep saying that. He keeps saying 9-11, 9-11. I don't believe it. He keeps telling us his

Rectile functions and I don't know what is going on. Watch the ride along. What do you usually do to feel your best before a big event? Like a first date or a job interview or something like that. I mean you're probably getting a haircut, cleaning yourself up. But in order to feel your best, you probably want to smell your best, maybe not something you usually talk about, but you can

smell your best with Mando because Mando helps you with 72 hour odor control. It's safe for your whole body. That includes your pits, your package, your feet, talk to Nick about that one and everywhere in between it stops odor before it starts and it has solid deodorant sticks, spray deodorant. It has creams. It has different scents. It's got everything you need. And let me tell you, it's the only deodorant full body all over the place that I

use. It's the only one I trust. I really enjoy it. I think Mando is fantastic and I think you should give it a try. Mando's Starter Pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick of deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping as a special offer for listeners,

which is you, new customers, get $5 off a Starter with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack use code eat at shopmando.com that's s h o p m a n d o.com with code eat. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you smell fresher stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with Mando. Thanks Mando, I really do use it. It's 100% true. If you're going online without ExpressVPN,

you might as well be going to the bathroom with the door wide open. Then anyone could be filming you. You gotta have some kind of privacy at least. You gotta have a door. And that's where ExpressVPN comes in. So let's all thank ExpressVPN for sponsoring 100% EAT. And that's where ExpressVPN comes in. So let's all thank ExpressVPN for sponsoring 100% EAT. And here's the deal. Visit expressvpn.com slash percent and you

can get an extra four months free. Now more than ever, online privacy is my number one priority. That's why I'm using ExpressVPN anytime I'm online. That way I'm stopping my ISP from tracking my data or I'm protecting my information if I'm using public wifi at the airport or sporting event. Because when I'm not using a VPN, all my traffic is flowing through my ISP's servers. So they're seeing everything I'm doing and then they're taking that data and then they're selling it to advertisers. But ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers so your ISP can't see your browsing history.

And that's why ExpressVPN is the best VPN. Hides your IP address, it's easy to use, you just fire up the app, you click one button, boom, you're protected. And it works on all your devices, phones, laptops, tablets, and more so you can stay private on the go. So now more than ever, protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com slash percent. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash P-E-R-C-E-N-T. And you can get an extra four months free.

Expressvpn.com slash percent. All right. Oh, you guys wanna learn about Subway? It's fucking Subway. What is there to learn? What is there to learn? Time to learn. We've had to learn.

We've gone to Subway like 10 times. Well, let's find out the last time we went. Wow! Is it right? Did you actually write it right this time? Yep. Okay. I made sure because I skipped it and went,

oh shit, and then came back and had to fix it. I almost said Wingstop again. Wow! Yep. Greener Road. Our last Subway episode was July 9, 2024, where we ate the dippers. It received an average rating of 54.

I feel like we go to Subway a lot. We do. It's only- Doesn't he only have a fourth chair? Why is he in that squeaky chair? I don't understand. Did we buy four of these? Yeah, there's another one out there.

He loves the squeaky one. Well, I have to switch it when Gracie's here, so it's just not worth the effort. How often is Gracie here? You have to switch it what? Once every six weeks? Hmm. You're a fucking mystery. You're a goddamn mystery. I have to switch it when Gracie's here, so it's not worth it.

That's like the ultimate laziest thing I've ever heard in my life. It's right, it's right. Gracie hasn't been here for like over a month. It's right over there and he's like, ah, but then she'll be back in a month. Let me also say, ever since you pointed it out 10 seconds ago, all I hear is that Cher Creek. Of course.

That's why I waited so long on reading the name when he said read it, is because I was just listening. He's going to stay so long on reading the name when he said read it is because it was just listening He's going to stay so still the rest of us. Yes Maybe yeah, that's why I made me laugh. Oh man. Oh man All right for real though. Mm-hmm October of 2024 a Los Angeles subway employee sued the franchise, claiming that in the decade she worked at the restaurant, she was routinely denied sick leave and worked over 100 hours a week with no overtime pay.

We're trying to get the sauce monkey on this schedule, but he keeps threatening to call his senator. But honestly, at this point, we think the senator will be on our side. Ted Cruz would love Subway if he ate human food. 100 hours a week? I was trying, I was doing some math to figure out like what she would have to do to do 100 hours a week. Are we talking like seven days a week? Like working every day?

It would have to be in order for it to be like 15 hour a day. Like yeah. Subway isn't open 24 hours. They're only open like 12 hours. Yes! And she was. But she would be there like maybe like an hour before and like an hour after. Who knows? And it's like 100 hours a week is there's only like 168 hours in a week. She's sleeping for 68 hours, I assume. That's crazy.

Yes. Crazy, crazy, crazy. 100 hours is a point you reach. I don probably going to win her job. Crazy, crazy, crazy. 100 hours is the point you reached. I don't think you can turn off. No. That's not like you work like a 50, 60, 80 hour week, you're exhausted. 100 hour week, that's your life. Making Subway sandwiches too, and cookies, which smelled more than the Subway. Sure, the one thing stronger than the smell of the Subway.

Yeah, finally I don't have to smell the Subway. Oh my god. I can smell Oreos. Alright, here's to the next one, finally. I don't have to smell the subway. Oh, yeah All right, all right. Yeah, let's go This is hamster pellets. Yeah, probably that's what I was thinking. Yeah. Yeah, do you think he uses like the water thing to you? Yeah, yeah, I think not because he has to but because he wants to yeah They also mix a little bit of water in with his hamster pellet So it like makes like a stew for him, and then he has something like a little bit like more. He likes the gravy Let's learn that's how they do it in Cancun

New York City subway rider who was inadvertently shot in the head by police at a station At a station subway station police station has filed an 80 million dollar lawsuit against the city accusing the officers of showing Disregard for the lives of others when they open fire on a man holding a knife in front of a train We're trying to get the sauce monkey to get shot in the head so he could get 80 million dollars He should call his senator Ted Cruz would pull the trigger no hesitation Well because he's so hamster like you would see, you would see Nick in the, in the monkey mask and go, ah, fight or flight. And then it's Texas. So you got one fact in all just subway. Yeah. You guys know about subway, right? I mean, it was funny

the last time when it was like, now it's just lazy. Like the other chair, Eric, it's about subway. We're going to doway again in a couple months. Yeah, why would I look up Subway facts? All the good Subway facts. All right, tell us more about public transportation, Michael. A man who was drunk at a Subway station and fell onto the Subway track. I would've thought they were calling

Subway restaurants Subway stations. Got run over by the Subway train and had his arm and leg severed by the Subway train. So he's suing the subway for 90 million dollars We're trying to get the sauce monkey to do this after working 100 hours in seven days and with the help of Ted Cruz He will be easily pushed onto the third rail so he can reap the benefits Thanks for your service Ted Cruz and the monkey whatever Hey

How early was it? Yeah, yeah one idea. Yeah, anyway early was it when you wrote this? He had one idea. And he went, this is the whole damn fact section. We gotta get paid. This is the whole fact section. We gotta get paid. And Ted Cruz has to help us. Ted Cruz is gonna help us. ChadGBT, if I was writing facts about Subway, but talking about the Subway and Ted Cruz,

what would that look like? Give me four facts. How's this? Ted Cruz pushes your friend onto the third rail. Oh, hell Give me four facts. How's this? Ted Cruz pushes your friend onto the third rail. Oh, hell yeah. Alright. How's this? Thanks.

Thanks, Deep State or whatever the fuck it's called. Can you say Subway Station more? Sure, I'll add it. And the final fact, in October of last year, a New York woman sued Subway, the restaurant, and claimed the restaurant quote, uses photographs in its advertisements that make it appear that the steak and cheese sandwich contains at least 200% more meat than the actual sandwich that customers receive end quote.

Imagine thinking that Subway is going to be the restaurant that looks like the picture. Have you seen who they've hired as spokespeople in the past? Subway's always got something to hide, and that's why the sauce monkey is teaming up with our senator Ted Cruz To free Jared from prison wait what the fuck Ted no come on Those are the facts are we Ted he just won his third turn right yeah, yeah finally yeah in six years in six years Yeah, and then we get another one. Yeah, is there is there an actual term limit on senators isn't there is it not three? Oh, it's I think it's different That's a different state

Good. Oh, there is time limits in some places. Yeah sure cool. Is here one of them I don't think so cool. I asked like Ask people like it would be great. I'd be celebrating with you. Like why did you vote for Ted Cruz again? Why I got a why not you vote down the line? Take Cruz. Yeah, I hate that guy. Yes. What are we doing? Yeah Nobody likes Ted Cruz. I don't think Ted Cruz his wife or his evil daughters like Ted Cruz. No, they don't they hate him Does evil daughters he makes you go to can't Kuno Ted Cruz He's gonna get to the bottom of this. He's gonna help Jared escape from jail

He thinks he's talking about Jared Kushner, yeah, oh no my friend Jared. Yeah, he keeps calling him my friend Jared Yeah, and everyone's going like behind the scenes But we need you to understand who we're talking about. Yeah, do you know who Yeah, my friend Jerry Jerry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like real thin Yeah, check out the mega 64 sketch with Jared Fogle. Yeah, great one having having a different It's just a guy named Jared Fogle going. I'm not that guy. It's not me. I just have the same name Yeah, and they're coming for me have the same name and they're coming for me. And then Garrett breaks down the door and is, we're looking for known child diddler, Jared Fogle.

Yeah, it's not him and he's dog the bounty hunter, but the other one, right? Not the racist one. No, no, no, he's dog the bounty hunter. He just has the same name. He's also a bounty hunter named dog. Yeah. It's a good, it's a great premise. He just has the same name.

Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. And then it ends with Rocco in like children's clothes. Yeah, they're gonna catch him Rocco in like children's clothes And they're gonna lure him out and it's rock holding big lollipop with like a totally hat and he goes Got big reaction at a convention, so I bet that's one of my favorite ones. Yep. Hey speaking of conventions your convention guy You excited? Yeah

Excited for what? Convention! What? Which one? The one you're going to. What are you doing? Yeah, what is he doing? I just wanted to ask him about his convention. Hey, the convention guy, Michael. Yeah.

Are you excited? Oh, that's right. Michael's the ideas guy. I'm thinking about going to a convention. Nice, baby! That's a great idea. Do you like doing conventions? Yeah.

I don't dislike them. That's good. Conventions, generally, I hate all of it except when I'm there. I get that, yeah, I get that. I just have to plan to travel, and it's a thing, and get there, like, I do enjoy meeting people. They're usually mostly normal.

Yeah. It's tiring, but easy. You just stand there and talk to people. And so it's, it's very easy to like get in the zone too. Or same thing. There's like schedule breaks or whatever. And I'm just like, I think I'll just stand here. Like if I'm there and there's people showing up, just motor through it. Yeah. So as much as I hate it, cause it's like the planning and like, you're not at home. And even when you're done working, you're at a fucking hotel. Yeah. I just want to like sit in my house and do nothing. I hate like people that always want to like explore

and shit like, oh, we're just, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I will go to a restaurant and then go back to my- We gotta go see, guys, we gotta see what Corpus Christi has to offer. Salina Museum. We gotta find a bar. Hey, guess what? Call the hotel.

Yep, I will go to the hotel bar, I will drink, and then I will go to bed because I have to work tomorrow morning. That's like the most- I would go to that Salina Museum. That's like the most boring part Lizzy went last year. We were there for we went to the beach. Oh cool I I was like not only not gonna go You're welcome. By the way, yeah, everyone really wanted to go and I did not want to go in any way So I'm just like this is the this is the professional thing to do. I agree. I think that's great.

I will hate it. I like Selena. Don't give a shit about the museum. Don't care. And they came back and they were like, oh, they have this jacket. And then there was this microphone. I'm like, you're so glad I didn't go.

Cause they were planning on going to the aquarium as well, which I also don't give a shit about, but I will go. And I went, let me throw this your way. I'm only going to one. You would rather have me at the aquarium as well, which I also don't give a shit about, but I will go and I went, let me throw this your way. I'm only going to one. You would rather have me at the aquarium than the Salina Museum. I will be contently in the back. You guys will be running around looking at fish. I don't give a fuck about fish, dude. Sharks cool. That, hey, you know what? I didn't say I don't want to go. I didn't say let's not go. I went, that's fine. Everyone wants to go to the aquarium. That makes sense.. It's right there It's a cool thing if you care about those things. I don't but being an empath I get it. Okay, so Salina Salina, I I'm not gonna be in a good mood and it's gonna bring down your mood

I'm gonna be muttering in the background. I'm gonna I was gonna be bored I'm so glad bored as fuck. Yeah And that was the right call That's what a bunch of people went to the Selena museum and I stayed with some other people back. We had a condo on the beach. I was like, we'll meet you at the fucking aquarium. Can I also say, it's nice in that situation

for everyone to just accept it. Yes. Instead of being like, no, Michael, come on. No one did. Michael, if we don't all go, it won't be fun. And I just said, I went, trust me, it'd be like no my no. Yeah, no one did Michael It won't be fun. I just said I went trust me. It will be worse having me there I will not come around I will not go Wow You know what I was wrong convinced me if anything you will be like this even if I'm there silent It's gonna be like oh, you're not having fun. Oh, you think that's cool. Yeah, why why do you want me there?

Yeah, well grown-ups. Yeah, so children. I think you're absolutely right. That's so that's where the convention is. It's at the Salina Museum. No way. No, but it's close You grace me the cast of Ruby at the Salina Museum Really? Yeah, you got Gracie and you left your keys there. Yeah, I threw it actually no the keys are the Aquarium not salina. I threw it in the shark tank. Oh! What about this guy? You bit your hat. You got rubies.

It did bite my hat. That's where I got my hat that got bit. There is rubies, you had sun, I like to call it rubies. Oh, that's fun. At Eric. Yeah, frubies. Frubies.

Come see frubies, frugo? Yeah, no. He said yeah, he said yeah first. Then no, but the yeah locked it in first It's just me. That's like filming under the bathroom door. It's allowed It's a I just have like my own table that I brought like meat forest. Guess what? No, you won't they want to space I usually don't get a table. I just really Which again people out of convention

That's people on a convention. It's like what a slide did it me ego This is so much better this right you don't have to always want to see me and Lindsay So even being at the same table makes sense and there are people that are like you should have your own space I don't want my own. Yeah. Yeah, they could just Yeah, it's like trust me. I know what works for me. Yeah, it's fine. I don't I don't care about um Like how dare you I'll take a slop yeah Fucking sloping table, but the organizers are more than happy to accommodate your stuff. Yeah Oh, thank God unless hotel room. Yeah, well you now you've understand why I get to go to conventions

Yeah, you posted about it. I money money you are my Money for organizers are just like that's what that's what they've been saying because you know you play son Yeah, you know, he's got the tail and everything. Yeah And they're just like yeah, this guy's monkey. I was a monkey before him. Yeah, it's true. Oh shit you wear it Well, thank you. Well when you choose to No, it definitely lives inside him That carries on we are almost 40 minutes. This is crazy. I'm just saying well. No I like it. I like that

Before before we get into all you're right all the, before we get into, Oh, you're right. All the, no! Before we get into like the food and everything, that was cool. That's cool. And that is exactly how I planned it. Do you like your cape? Before we get into the food and everything, we went to the same subway where we went last time.

The guy who was working there, who was a fucking space case, was not there, but the angry guy was there. And he was not through there I got to deal with a woman who's very nice yeah she was great she was okay showed up when we were supposed to order we knew what we were getting from subway Nick was like asking this guy's been raised on it sleeping sleeping in subways as a kid and he doesn't know what he's gonna get he don't understand grew up in the subway I

like to change it up anyway Anyway. What did you get? Changing it up doesn't mean knowing what you get. I asked for the subway club six inch on white. And then he went, walked over, came back and said, white. Yeah, I bet he did. He's Italian. Yeah.

Whatever. Well, that's why he signed it. Because white isn't an option. Whoops. I only, guessing this. Love it. Because it is white, the Italian bread is white. But I even ordered it, when I ordered it,

I was like, I get a foot long steak and cheese on white bread, Italian. Like I corrected myself. So him just telling me white, and the guy went, white, that's why he was mad. Which makes no sense. You know what he's talking about. But also, shame on you.

Shame on you. Don't you dare. He was pissed. Don't you dare come in there asking for white bread. No one, like. No whites at Downing's only. Finally. My rise.

I bet we made this joke last time, but that wasn't always the case. That's true. The bell at the door was so loud. No one is in there. It's so quiet. Every time that door opens, it's fucking crazy. I didn't super notice it when we first came in,

but then I forgot my phone in your car and I was talking Pokemon trading card game with Jordan. So I had to go get my phone. And then going by myself and it was quiet. I walked out and I was like, ah. Then when I walked back in, I was like, why? Yeah, so loud. Pissed me off, by the time I came back, I was pissed.

Yep, so loud. But mad guy was there, don't know what happened to the other guy, maybe killed him. Yeah. I mean like- He's in the Oreo cake. Oh no.

He has one whole one in there to eat. Your wife can eat it too. No, we all have it, it's in the fridge. If I tell her about it. You're saving it for us right that's why I don't know what hang that was an unnamed hang on what I asked if his wife would eat any of it yeah I heard what you said and I heard what he said I don't he's not going to tell her about it why would he what he's gonna eat it in the fucking car why wouldn't he is my question he's gonna eat eat it all she's probably not

gonna want it yeah she won't probably not gonna want it. Yeah, she won't probably not. And she'll never know. He's doing her a favor. She'll never know if he doesn't ask her. He's an empath and won't even bring it up to save her the stress of saying no. She said don't bring that shit home. He is helping by saying. When you came home with two bags of food last time.

She probably doesn't want it, but if she does, she'll be torn torn with like ah, but like you know should I eat this he needs my help? Yeah, I mean he's running her from that. I'm trying to get rid of his love handles Maybe I should eat some so he doesn't eat all of it because you know he's gonna eat all of it if no one else Yeah, why don't you go home and explain monkey macros to your wife? She buys it Okay She'll go you know I can see you right? Yeah, why don't you go home and explain monkey mag with your wife, she buys it. Okay. Okay. She'll go, you know I can see you, right? What? I can still see you. Incredible.

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hey, let's subway Oreo footlong cookie More of a cake in my it was absolutely a brownie cake. Yeah, it was not I got no Oreo There's cream in the middle. That's not cream. It looks like it looks like an Oreo. It's a little cake Like Subway's footlong chocolate chip the Oreo footlong cookie is served warm. I'm ready to show it wasn't that warm I poked it and was met with such resistance. Yeah It's like not quite ice cold. I thought my finger was gonna go in there

Inspired by the iconic sandwich cookie the cookie starts with subway's decadent chocolate cookie dough and Oreo cookie pieces Topped with sweet vanilla cream and finished with even more Oreo cookie pieces Okay, that's what we ate and the you know the boss heated it up for us last time the cream was Rosen solid last time. What I was blown away by when I had my two bites is the cream was so not Connected to it and not did not taste like Oreo cream. It was like take a cream like straw and just place it in. Like it peeled right off.

It was like, it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't part of it. It wasn't smoothed into it. It was very much like Play-Doh, a Play-Doh spaghetti. And I was like, what the fuck? I was eating it going, this is just like a chocolate brownie cake. You could take the cream off. And then the cream you want to fell off

Yeah, I didn't think cream could do that. You know what I mean like usually cream spreads. Yeah, it's not Yeah, he wants some cream art. I'll put it back Here catch It was like a rope it was just like a cream rope and it didn't taste none of it tasted like Oreos Except the Oreo pieces which also I didn't were overpowered by everything else so they didn't taste none of it tastes like Oreos except the Oreo pieces which also I didn't were Overpowered by everything else so they didn't taste like Oreos. I didn't find Oreo pieces in the two bites. Well Nick found them all Don't worry. It was dry. Quote. It was dry. Why are we reviewing it? We're in the middle of the press material We were already so far gone. Subway worked, I derailed us. Subway worked closely with the Oreo cookie experts. No they didn't!

No, they didn't! They're cookie experts, Michael! To create something that fans of both brands are going to love. I'm just gonna let that cross over. I've been waiting for. There are two things I love in this world. Everyone's talking about Secret Wars, X-Men, like the crossover of a generation. Finally. I love in this world. Everyone's talking about secret wars. Well, the thing is. X-Men, like.

But what about Subway and Oreo? The crossover of a generation, finally. I love Subway and my wife loves Oreo. Is there a food for us? Finally, the Oreo cookie experts have created something for my marriage. Fantastic. Does that help your wife like you?

They're still working on that. Hey, it doesn't solve older problems Or any really she's still awake. Yeah, she stayed woke up. Yeah If I saw someone with Oreo cookie expert on the resume I would throw it in the trash Also, I think that means you eat cookies. Yeah, I get it's a cookie, but who someone with Oreo cookie expert on their resume, I would throw it in the trash. Also, I think that just means you eat cookies. I get it's a cookie, but who calls it Oreo cookie? I know what the fuck you're talking about. Oreo cookie or like sandwich cookie.

It's a fucking Oreo. Just say Oreo. It's the thing of like, it's the thing of like Burger King calling it Whopper Sandwiches. Yeah. Like fuck off. Yeah, and fuck off Burger King.

That's right. Yeah No, you're an empath. You should feel bad for them because they like Burger King The worst thing the worst thing in life. Yeah, no kidding. Oh, we're almost one sentence in go ahead Yeah, they worked with the cookie experts something both fans of both brands are gonna Love the ideal blend of our popular double chocolate cookie with the delicious crunch of their signature cookie and cream filling spelled differently this time. Yep. Said Paul Faber, senior vice president, culinary and innovation at Subway. It's everything Oreo cookies capture our passion for quality ingredients and maximum flavor. That

was insulting, making them the ideal partner for Subway's first foot long cookie collaboration. Is that a tease? I think it's more insulting to Oreo. Yeah. That's what I meant. Hey! Like, oh yeah, oh, quality ingredients

and maximum flavor, Oreo. Maximum flavor. Yeah, that's Oreo to a T. Yeah, hey Oreo, you're kinda like the Subway of cookies. Isn't that great? Don't you love that? Do you love that I said that to you. Do you like it? Is that great? Do you love that? You're the smell of your cookie is the only thing that gives you the smell of our restaurant. Did you that was crazy. It smelled so strong. It's Subway. So it smells like Subway. And then all of a sudden it smelled like

Oreos only. It was wild. But then it was quickly overpowered by subway We took over so we left and everyone was like oh, yeah Strong they should do what the Carl's jr. Did and put pine tree scented About their air vents so when we went to the Carl's jr. They have like these big like air ducts They're probably like six of them like coming down at like the top of the restaurant And we saw like a pine tree car airs They were probably like six of them like coming down at like top of the restaurant and we saw like a pine tree car Air freshener hanging from one of them and we're like, what the fuck? Why would they do that? And we looked at all of them and we went they all they all have them

They all think I live in there. Yeah in the ducts They must duck to people and then they crawl down and they eat the LDL the obo burger and then they scatter back up So makes sense. Also is, is he teasing future collaborations with the footlong? Just by saying that this is their first. I think they're trying to make it seem like a bigger deal than it is. Yeah, I agree. Like, Oh, it's, you know, we had to go with someone iconic for our first collaboration. It's a milestone of our first collaboration for this thing that nobody likes. I'm in charge of innovation at Subway.

And nothing says innovation like making something a big deal when it isn't. And that's what all these press releases are. But here's the thing. We have our own review of what we ate, but we need to hear from you in a segment we call You Review. Hit the theme song. You Review. We got to have to use the cinnamon one.

I feel like I've heard it. It's pretty good. review We got to use the cinnamon one I've heard it. It's pretty good. It's pretty good good work. You can submit your you review Audio in our discord we find it we use it for the show. Thank you very much It's ours good once you post it. It's ours. It's like monkey macros. We own it. That's not like we got three reviews What do you think? What do you want to do Aaron P? Aaron probably read them. Okay, Aaron Paul Aaron Paul, I'm an easy one. Is he one of the brothers? Is he? Brothers at you Aaron Paul Jake Paul Logan Paul Chris Paul. Yeah, what a family. Yeah, so successful Who are you knocking Chris?

Great I liked Westworld God Paul isn't in my Westworld My Westworld He's in late my Westworld has Anthony Hopkins. Yeah, he's in late late Westworld Okay, a great addition to this subway would be people who actually speak English. I Don't think I want to read this one. Oh, baby. That's crazy weren't who was just saying this the other day was it Nick Yeah, yeah

Aaron P As an empath of myself I feel for me Also people who aren't extremely rude, uh-huh I asked for a water cup and she handed me a dirty cup and so I Asked for another and she literally said no dot dot dot she refused to hand me another water cup dot dot dot close it down boom wow what do you think his cup was dirty with they wouldn't give him another one interesting interesting what are the employees doing to these water cups interesting little piss boy going to get a piss cup at subway drink piss drink piss

Ma'am, I didn't ask for Mountain Dew Drink it drink it drink it. Why is it warm? Body temperature that person has never went in there and no one spoke English. Yeah, it's never happened. Nope. Yeah, also these are The subway we went to the nice nice one. Comparatively. Compared to the boss? Comparatively? Absolutely. Had the food.

It's modern. Although Nick and I were talking in the restaurant about how there's a certain nostalgia factor to the bosses. Oh, definitely. The old school wood paneling. That's subway to me. That's subway. It harkens back to the old logo that was like

brown and yellow, like your hat. Where am I? Subway hat. Be cool if you peeled that off and said Subway under it. No, not that. Nope, that doesn't say Subway. He didn't peel it off either, he just turned it around. It says San Diego, California.

Oh, somebody lied to me. It says San Diego, Ka. Ka. Hey, Michael, why don't you hit the next one? All right. GR says, No. Could be.

First, as I approached the door, a homeless man was harassing people going in and out of both subway and the GameStop next door. What's inside? I was greeted by a sullen, pissy boy with an attitude who spent most of his time giving me the evil eye and speaking Spanish To what appeared to be his father slash manager We don't know that the angry guy can't speak Spanish after receiving the order and saying also. Thank you Look odds are he glared at me again and walked off. Okay, finally at the soda fountain. I saw ants

Baby spiders and other unknown, disgusting creatures running everywhere. By far the worst experience I've ever had at Subway. Pretty sure I'll be calling the health inspectors ASAP. No, you won't. No. Is it possible to give them a zero rating? You know, that BTW, it was hotter inside than outside on an 86 degree afternoon. If this was like, they have ovens and shit running. Yeah. Not to like, hey, toast that, tot in here. Not to, you know, throw myself in front of a train

for Subway, but like the place is, you know, this big and there's like, they're just everything. They're just everything's heated. They're making bread. Yeah, they're making it. Yeah. They're heating the bread. That's how they make it. And they're just everything. They're just everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're making bread. Yeah, they're making it. Yeah. They're heating the bread. That's how they make it.

And they're heating the sandwiches. They heat it. You know, that, I mean, that kind of makes sense, right? Kitchens are hot, even if you have air conditioning. But how hot does it have to be for a sullen pissy boy to be giving you attitude? A sullen pissy boy. A sullen pissy boy.

Who's speaking to his father, most likely. I can only deduce that this other man who speaks Spanish exactly we're related they're at they're at the subway and they're talking to each other in Spanish they must be related classic gr what the fuck oh my god I was I was here with my friend Aaron and we were describing about all these people in the subway We kept going there. He is the pissy boy and he said that's the one who gave me the cup This cup you're telling to drink their pissy

piss cup Pissing well, those are two of the reviews We have one more one more from John, who I bet also has a problem with them speaking Spanish, but let's see. Who doesn't, Jordan? It makes me angry. Especially a father and son duo, I assume. Stop telling secrets.

I read a news. Should always be like, are you talking about me? I read a news article. And it's, boy, you walk up, you talking about me? I read a news article like two days ago, and it was about this like public school bus had a sign at the front of the bus. And it was like, it was like,

there will be no Spanish speaking on this bus because it's disrespectful for people who only speak English. Thank you owner slash management. And then someone like took a picture and the school's like, that's not us, that's not us, that's not us, that's not us, that's not us. We didn't do it, we didn't do it.

Yeah. Talk to the owner slash manager. Hey, be respectful. Stop speaking your language. Speak my language. Oh, I'm sorry. If you're gonna call me a piss baby, say it in English. Sorry, I didn't know If you're gonna call me a piss baby, say it in English.

Sorry, I didn't know this bus was your safe space. El Bebe De Piss? I know what that means! Surely some students complained and had the sign put up. Right. Yeah. Yeah, it was the students. Surely. It wasn't the- My friend Jaime's right- That's Jaime! There will be no gear most only Williams Dude what the fuck? Uh, okay John T. So, I like the subway. However, I'm always washed my hands before I go.

However, I'm always washed my hands before I go. However, I'm always washed my hands before I go. However, I'm always washed my hands before I go. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. Jordan go home, I'm always washed my hands. He just got excited. The bathroom sink in the men's room has been broken for almost two weeks. The bathroom sink in the men's room has been broken for almost two weeks.

How often is this? this guy comes here a lot This guy is your whole lot The last time I could not wash my hands in the ladies room because there what there was a line of females waiting That's usually how that works. And what's that word waiting to eat is the bathroom. What are they doing in the bathroom? Your women are eating men in the bathroom They're eating I've politely knocked on the employees only door and asked if I could use the sink to wash my hands I was met with a resounding no

the sink to wash my hands. I was met with a resounding no, no, we can't allow that. I tried to explain that the sink in the men's room was broken and they just stared at me like they really don't care. So I then waited for all the ladies to clear out that alone took 20 minutes. Am I right guys? By do you was done, my sandwich was cold. So, Oh, just threw it through, threw it away and went back to work. Sorry for the one star review, but this is just horrible customer service. You're almost there. Five. his also means that employees can't wash their hands after they use the restroom either well No, they go into the place. Yeah, you employees only people. They wouldn't let me in I not politely Employees only he write this on his phone is he trying to like I think his hands are wet from washing is he trying to Capitalize these kids. He's got his hands are too dry from licking. He's hitting the number row instead of the total number. Now there's a lot of numbers instead of

letters. The reason I picked this is because I think he wrote this as an alibi for why he went in the ladies room in case somebody. This is this reeks of Nick filming in the bathroom. This has this all over it which he's been talking about today a lot. We were all there remember remember Saying encore Nick you know already along You do yourself no favors when we're talking about joking about how like you can't go in the bathroom and I jokingly said, well, you can go in there. You just can't use it. But also when you're in there, I, you know, we can't open the door

and check on you because that'd be rude. Uh huh. Um, and then you said, yeah, but we film a lot when somebody's in the bathroom and Michael goes, yeah, we filmed Eric through the crack. I was like, no, he was like, yeah, the door was open. Yeah. The door is open. There's no crack at the doors closing. He goes under, under, under, under, underneath.

We did it. What are you talking about? He's like, yeah, yeah, we all did it. We all did it. Guys, it was a pact. Remember? It was for right along, man. Remember?

You liked it? It's just like, here's the thing. I don't, all jokes aside, you liked it? You thought it was good? Here's the thing. I don't, all jokes aside, I don't think it didn't happen. I think it's still strange how well you remember it and that you have such a stern recording under the door bathroom etiquette is where we're lying on. It's like the precedent, the precedent.

Yeah, it's more like we do it all the time. We do it all the time, sometimes together, sometimes alone. But here's the thing. I. Yeah, it's more like we do it all the time We don't all the time sometimes together sometimes alone, but here's the thing I see Nick Nick is the papers Nick is the bathroom guy shin chaos made that new low fire It's a good one. You can see monkey juice reaching out and flipping the sign. You can see everything over there, too I love their attention to detail. They it's so good. They have the exploded air spray. Yeah. Yep The Febreze you should check it out shouldn't chaos is putting these on YouTube They're really cool. There's two of them. There's one of the problem. What do you think we have a problem? What do you mean? That's what I kept saying when he was oh, I was fall back. Yeah, I don't pay attention

He remembers yeah, I mean great attention to detail the plant looks great They they wrote on the they got the water jug for plants Really good check them out shinkas put these on YouTube and we'll be sharing them on our socials So they gotta make them longer. Yeah, we need like a two-hour version two minutes is not enough You live if you make chill hop music that kind of like lo-fi beats study to people Chaos go to the discord like lo-fi beats to study to. People got hooked up on the background. Hook up with Shin Chaos, go to the Discord.

Hook up with Shin Chaos, make something crazy. Or if you are Shin Chaos, just make them longer, please. Yeah. Loop them. That works too. Please do it now. I'm not that productive.

I'm not getting my work done in two minutes. This is also where someone's gonna go, well actually there's an easy way you can do it. I don't want to. Going back to the sandwich argument, I want Shin Chaos to do it already. I want the long one, I don't wanna make this anyway. I don't wanna make my own song.

They already made it, just like loop it. I'm about to blow through this review. Well, those are your reviews, now it's time for our review of the Subway Oreo Footlong Cookie. Jordan. That thing fucking sucked. What? Get fucked! Weirdly, like, spongy? Very spongy.

Almost like you were chewing on Play-doh uh-huh and Just like no flavor with the chocolate real mud mouth. Yeah, it was money like Yeah, but I think that was the dryness that wasn't it like turning into mush. No. Yeah, it was it was like Give me some water. Yeah And just like the this is the cream. There's no like sweets. There's no oh yeah. Yeah, very disappointed by them. There's no Cohesion from the the creams of the rest of you. Yeah, none of it's black and white none of its Oreo Yeah, it's black and white yeah like an Oreo or cookie sandwich like a black and white cookie Sandwich, but it better only speak English Go home.

Or you go home. Don't play with Subway anymore. We don't like them. This thing sucked. You should get new friends. It was a... Call Ted. Go play with Kit Kat or something. The next one's gonna be like Kit Kat cookie. Stop talking to Subway, dude.

That one might be good. Yeah. Hopefully. It won't be, but yeah, maybe. Sure. Hey, next one, let, that one might be good. Yeah, hopefully it won't be but yeah, maybe Sure. Hey, next one. Let's go see the boss again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the chocolate chip one wasn't even good So this one's like a 33 33 what the hell and that's from the guy who likes sweets Well, I got a guy who doesn't like what are we doing? But also who does love Oreos. Yep. Mm-hmm. I bought a pack the other day After like five separate nights, not in a row,

of nights of taking like a gummy to go to sleep and then an hour and a half later going, fuck, why haven't I bought Oreos? Why didn't I think of that? Like eating Albanese before you go to sleep? That's so smart. Well, only eating one Albanese because two might be too strong.

Well, I ate one non-Albanese and then I could eat a whole bag of them. You get about 45 minutes, I could mow through an Albanese pack. Interesting. Yeah, but then I finally bought them. Gotta try this. And boy, they're good cookies.

That thing, not an Oreo? Nope. It was fine. If you're like this guy, and you're just like, me want chocolate monkey food, me no care free. It's not bad.

It's not like, ew, this tastes bad,. It's not bad. It's not like you this tastes bad But it's not good. I didn't like it. I took two bites and I went I've had enough My cheese steak was great. Okay for my Subway standard. It's exactly what I want. We're reviewing that though No, I know but my tummy's reviewing it right now. Yeah, and it likes it Oreo thing no, um 25 in. Oreo thing? No. 25. 25! I don't think Subway has the juice when it comes to desserts. I agree. 29! They barely have the juice for what they sell. It's just the fact that like, 29%! If someone had never been to Subway before, I imagine it's either this fucking sucks or I love this. Yeah. You talking about how much you love Oreos reminded me of a story of recently discovering someone like didn't know that it pairs well with

milk and I was like who was that it was Janice the basketball player. Oh yeah, that's right. That's their whole thing. Yep. He said he discovered it in 2021 what but he had there was eating my room and I dropped it into my cup of milk. I would know my milk and his milk is ruined and so is my Oreo, but they both got better I mean in his defense. I think he'd only been living America for four years at this point Wait till he finds out about chocolate and peanut butter. It's still cookie milk. Yeah, someone's gotta tell him. Yep Johnis chocolate peanut butter come to the Spurs. Yeah, dude, you'd be so good on the Spurs Whoa, he pulled that back. You don't want him?

How are we going to afford that? We don't own the team! We have to put our heads together and figure out how we, all the stakeholders of the Spurs, can own it. The Spurs spending money, but not him sharing cookie with wife. I don't understand. I don't get it. I'm not gonna tell her. The thing about sports teams where they go like,

well how are we gonna afford that? You could be like, I don't pay for it. You could be like the Dallas Mavericks and not tell anyone that you're doing a trade. You do secret style. Yeah. I didn't wanna hurt anyone's feelings. We didn't even tell Luca.

Yeah, have fun in LA. No, he's a mer-man. Well, you can check out 100 Have fun in LA. No, he's a merman. This is right. Well, uh, you can check out 100% eat at patreon.com slash 100% eat where you check out the Michael Jordan podcast should be out this Friday. We'll probably be talking

about Pokemon a lot, I assume. So if you're a Pokemon freak. Yeah, we're going to make you download it. There you go. You can also if you want to add one extra step, care about them. Don't forget burger gauntlet dot

com. You didn't hear that, did you? I'm not extra step care about them. Don't forget burger gauntlet.com I'm not gonna download Pokemon watch some Michael Jordan podcast. See if I download Pokemon dude any any day No burger gauntlet comms gonna no longer be under construction fingers crossed. You go 100% eat dot store to grab merch You can follow us on Twitter Instagram in blue sky 100% eat and you can send us 100% treats This is a video that just went out, at P.O. Box 1432-41, Austin, Texas, 78714. That's right, you can send your own treats to us at P.O. Box 1432-41, Austin, Texas, 78714. By the time this comes out,

we will have the taste test for the Sonic sodas and wine, Pizza Hut wine. You should go back. You should go back. Talk about bathroom filming sodas and wine, Pizza Hut wine. Oh, the worst thing we've ever drank. You should go. Talk about bathroom filming. Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's the bathroom filming. The door was open.

It was a jar. That's what open means. Yeah, it does. Yep. Yeah, hey, Michael. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get him. I eat cheese too to tide myself over. You do that too?

Also, it doesn't have to just be snacks. Oh man, yeah, you can send anything't have to just be snacks. Oh man. Yeah, you can send anything. As long as it's not bugs, you know? Anything. For anyone. What the? God damn it.

I still haven't gotten that to Jeff, so. Send more salami. Send more salami so he doesn't eat expired salami. Now we're gonna have too much salami. There's never too much salami. Rate and subscribe. Tell your friends about the show where we eat food and rate the food.

I feel like we've been on a cold streak lately, nothing good. So hopefully something good next time. Bye bye. I thought you were talking about throwing the paper. Were you trying to toss it to me, Nick? No, I was trying to knock yours down. Yeah, knock you down a peg. Ball on ball crime.

Empathetically. Yeah, go home. Seriously, get the sauce. I thought you were going to catch the paper that he threw Nailed it. Wow. Get him on the spurs. How are we gonna afford that guy? I think they can afford it. I think they can afford it