100% Eat - KFC Jack Harlow Meal

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review KFC Jack Harlow Meal so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Cat getting hired but for a different show, who exactly Jack Harlow is, a deep fried rat, and more. Sponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam) and DoorDash (download DoorDash app + FACEJAM) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try to try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my ever-present, ever-vescent co-host. Ever-nescence? Yeah. Been here co-hosting with me since December of 2012, if memory serves. Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? December of 2012. Wow. Incredible.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm good we came very close to not trying the food today oh yeah honestly there's a couple of reasons there's a couple in fact we straight up didn't try the food we were supposed to eat when Eric started screaming

it's gone it's gone I think I wrote alert so today I started screaming, it's gone, it's gone. I think I wrote alert. Alert. So today we were supposed to be reviewing what? The Arby's Wagyu Steakhouse Burger. Which on the commercials they say Wagyu, which I thought was weird. Do they really? Yeah, that's why it was on my radar because it was always playing during the baseball games that are on in the background. Were anyone being chased

or consumed by dinosaurs in these commercials or no? No, I don't believe. No one went primal. Nobody went primal in these. And it wasn't Carl's Jr. It was Arby's. Two different restaurants. Some have dinosaurs and some don't. Which ones have which? Carl's Jr.

Hardee's has dinosaurs. But you can eat dinosaur at Arby's. Oh. Is that on the meat mountain? They have dinosaur meat. It's one of the meats they have. Did you know they do meat mountains? Did you know that? Jesus Christ.

Is that a no? No, I know. Yep. It's a mountain of meat, my man. It is. It's true. Still haven't gotten it. I know.

Not a limited time food. Keep asking. Yep. I mean, it's limited to me. I. Not a limited time food. Keep asking. Yep. I mean, it's limited to me. I think everything's limited to you. You know what was very limited? The food we didn't get. It was so limited we couldn't get it.

Where are you going? What are you doing? Where are you going? Nick is leaving. Why are you touching the thermostat? Are you making it warmer or colder? So as I was doing... No, he turned it on.

As I was doing the fact sheet at a reasonable time, I went to the... What time was that? What was the reasonable time? What time did I send... Yeah, let me just double check. What time did you say, alert, the food's gone? Around 10 a.m.? Yeah.

I want to say. Yes. So the fact sheet was done, what, last night? Night before? Fact sheet was done... He was just doing his due diligence where he wakes up after doing it yeah and to make sure the food is still there oh you were on your double maybe triple check this was 10 06 a.m and that's why i said alert all my hard work is down the drain oh no what

are we gonna do hard work i did um so arby's posted on their website i went to like their limited time items instead of 11 that are usually listed, five were listed. And I went, uh-oh. And then on the front of their site, it says, goodbye, burger. And then it says that because it's sold so well, which means supply chain. Supply chain. Supply chain. Yeah.

Let's get our Applebee's Chili's friend on this. You can't order it online. And they can't guarantee that it would be in store. They might have it in limited quantity. So you're saying we could have rooted around for it? I don't. I think there's like one Arby's. Yeah, we're not going to go to the one Arby's. Sounds like a root.

Can you imagine going to a restaurant and they didn't have the food? Could you imagine going to the restaurant and they were closed? It had a sign saying they were closing early. But it turns out it was earlier than what the sign said. Well, hang on, Jordan. You're getting ahead of ourselves here. Because instead what we ate was the groundbreaking new KFC Jack Harlow meal. Jack Harlow apparently is a person.

I learned about this morning. And so we ate that instead. That was the original food we were going to eat. Arby's came up. We said, let's do that. And Eric didn't check when it was going away. It went away. Goodbye, burger. Jordan asked earlier in the week, when's it going away? And I went like, oh,

it'll be here for another month. Bro, so much time. This is so wonderful. He was like, I guarantee you no supply chain issues in sight. He kept saying this. Inflation's a myth. Inflation's a myth. Yeah. People supply chain issues in sight. He kept saying this. Inflation's a myth. Inflation's a myth. Yeah.

People want to work. Yeah. He kept saying, I feel like this might not even be limited. And then it was gone. So then we went to KFC instead. And what happened there? We went to one KFC instead. The one where we filmed.

The tried and true. Our regular KFC. Yeah. We've been to that KFC instead. The one where we filmed. The tried and true. Our regular KFC. We've been to that KFC twice for Face Jam. So we tried to go to that KFC. No, we went to that KFC. We didn't try. We did.

We tried to order from that KFC. Something looked off when we pulled up. There were no cars parked up and there's a sign on the door. All the lights are off. There's a sign on the door

that said, and we're like, oh man, it looks like they're closed. Then the sign says uh close in early 7 p.m no night shift and we're like oh well well surely that's fine because it was implied yeah um it was implied noon so it's definitely not before 7 p.m it is yeah we got we got roughly seven here's the problem i don't know we found out that noon is after 7 p.m. Yeah.

Because the door was locked, but there was someone in the drive-thru. Yeah, there's another car in the drive-thru. So we waited behind the car. Took a minute. Took a minute. Took a minute. Oh, it doesn't look like they have the Jack Harlow. Oh, yeah, where's Jack Harlow?

Oh, there's the sign. Okay, cool. The car pulls up. That didn't really happen. But then doesn't stop at the window and just drives away. And then we sit and wait and just go, Hmm. This is suspicious.

Nobody's saying anything. Should we? Should we initiate? So there's a sign that says, Oh, close at 7 PM. No night shift. And then I go,

a second one. Hello. And on top of my hello, Nick just goes, hello. Yeah. Yelling past you too. Cause he's in the back passenger side and I like

He didn't say it, but it was like him it was basically like he was going my voice Let me try let me Eric's higher bitch. I'm more basic Through the air stop and what thank you So we went through the air a little bit more. Eric stopped and went, thank you. Because he was also already in a very crabby mood. Right. For reasons outside of the food not in there. Yeah.

So nobody takes our order. Right. And then Jordan in his space car looks up KFC. And Michael goes, oh, another one. It's 0.0 miles away. I thought we were close. We were. We were very close to a KFC.

Wow, there's another one around here? Turns out, red herring. So we had to go to another KFC. Luckily, there was one not too far away. And they were operating. Right. They didn't want to be. They kicked people out of the dining room

when they tried to order after us. It was... Here's the other mistake when they tried to order after us. Yeah. It was, boy. Here's the other mistake you made. They took our order. They took our order. Didn't write anything. I just said five Jack Carlin meals and she went, great. And walked away and then came back with our drink cups.

No transaction. Yeah. Whatsoever. Still haven't paid for it. You do it at the end. Like every food exchange. No money. Just cups handed to us and we went, oh, man.

Well, this is supposed to come with lemonade. Right. And there was no lemonade at the fountain machine. Uh-uh. And I was not going to ask any of the people who were so stressed. Well, they were stressed. Also, again, to reiterate, he was very crabby. Yeah.

And so he was not having it. If he was going to ask nice, it would just come out wrong. I will say I wasn't starting to think about getting mad. I was. Yeah, yeah. I think I was there. But they did have. So it appears in the Jack Harlow meal.

It's just like a regular lemonade. Regular lemonade. Yep. So that was not on display. No. But they were screaming from the rooftops. Oh, man. Even at the closed one.

Everywhere. Everywhere. Was the Mountain Dew Sweet Lightning, which Jordan very aptly described as when we were like, well, we got to try it just to see what it looks like. A little splash of it in our cups. And as I'm drinking it, he's looking in and he goes, it looks like someone who's kind of dehydrated.

Because that's exactly what it looks like. You just woke up from a nice nine-hour sleep. And then. Peed in my cup. Maybe did a little pee-pee. And then I'm busy sucking it down. That's exactly what it looked like. They don't have to use apple juice for fake pee anymore in the movies. They can just use sweet light.

It wasn't like this is orange, go to a doctor. But it was a pretty thick yellow cloud. And it... This was sent to the lab to make sure of color. As you said that, you're like, this looks like someone who's dehydrated. And I said, and it tastes like it. You had just taken a drink. I'm a Mountain Dew fan.

I don't like any other flavor. Not even the Code Red? I don't like the Baja. Code Red's okay. I think Code Red's my favorite. You know what. Not even the Code Red? Code Red's okay. I think Code Red's my favorite. You know what? I forgot about Code Red. Baja Blast is always like people freaking out about it.

Don't like it. Don't eat it. I think Baja Blast is fine. What was the name of the Halo 3 one? Sweet Lightning. Don't need it. Get it out of here. Not good.

It was orange. Oh. I'm talking about the one that came out with Halo 3. Cheetles. Is that it? They just put Cheetos out with Halo 3. Cheetles. Is that it? They just put Cheetos inside of Mountain Dew? No, Cheetles. Not Cheetos.

Just the Cheetos. The Cheetles. Not the actual Cheetos. Just the dust, bro. We had one at Applebee's. That one was purple. There's also the spicy one. That sucks ass, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The red hot Mountain Dew. And then there's one that- I think Buffalo Wild Wings has one. Another thing that I see a lot of commercials for in the background. Oh, yeah. They also had like a glacier one, too. The Red Hot Mountain Dew. And then there's one that... I think Buffalo Wild Wings has one. Another thing that I see a lot of commercials for in the background. Oh yeah, they also have a Glacier one too. Let's just stop. Just give me the... Too many mountains. Just give me that green yellow

fucking juice. Give me that gamer juice. You know what I mean? When I get real pro, I crack open a Dew. Yeah, you're doing it. You're doing the Dew. But I do like looking at that crazy old hillbilly on the classic cans, though. Oh, yeah. It'll tickle your innards, that guy.

Yeah, dude. Oh, he's tickling my innards, my outers. That used to be their slogan. Oh, yeah. That hillbilly guy with his big feet. Yeah. Busting out of his broken shoes because he's a hillbilly. I like to say it'll

tickle your innards. What I like to do with the hillbilly is you can shrink him down and I put him in my urethra. Oh, that's cool. And they actually took that and they used it in the boys. You got to make sure he doesn't stomp around with his big feet in there. Oh, he stomped. You got to take your shoes off.

You know what I mean? And leave the pickaxe outside. Oh, he stomped. I don't. You got to take your shoes off. You know what I mean? And leave the pickaxe outside. Oh, no. I don't remember the hillbilly from Mountain Dew. That's pretty exciting. No, I also don't remember. You're old enough to. I don't remember.

All right. That was like the original. It was hillbilly juice. I don't remember that. I don't remember that at all. Oh, this roof. You love this roof. I told you. He loves it too.

No. I just like. Anyway, we room. You love this room. I told you. He loves it too. No. I just like... Anyway, we ended up eating the KFC. The roof is lower. The roof is a lot lower. To expose ourselves to Jack Harlow, to acquaint ourselves with Jack Harlow. Since, you know, we're on the cutting edge of pop culture. I'm talking about my urethra, but you're taking it too far.

Chill out. Something, something Pedialyte. Yeah. Dude, I'm a big file. I'm a big Pedialyte. Where's it at? Let me get a quick, I feel a headache coming on.

Let me take care of that. So we drove over to, okay. We drove over to the KFC and we, I made Jordan listen to Jack Harlow the whole way except it was only about halfway

because he couldn't quite figure out the search function on his car. Well, what really happened was I... He just kept going, what is going... I think the car was like... I clicked on it and it was just like the album, Jack Harlow. I was like, okay, clicked on it.

It was like, it was the single really. So I was like, okay, I'm just going to play this one and the next light, I'll play the next one. And then it wouldn't play. So it was just loading., I'm just going to play this one and the next light, I'll play the next one. And then it wouldn't play. So it was just loading. It was on the loading little circle forever. I was like, fuck it. I took it as a smart car and it was so smart. It was

like, you don't want to play this. You don't want to do it. Because then when it started playing He kept pushing override, override, override. And finally it started playing. And we all went, is this it? Really? Oh, and it was that Fergie beat. Yeah it was like Lundy Lundy Lundy Lundy Lundy

Nope. Different Fergie beat. Same person though. That is the same person. And a woman. And a woman. Fergie's a woman. Eric didn't know that. Dude Dua Lipa. He has a song called Dua Lipa. It was really weird to go from that song to like Dua Lipa where it was like,

cause we were talking about how like, Oh, I bet he's so proud of himself. Like he, he fancies himself a creative genius for taking this Fergie beat and, and making a new song. I don't remember exactly what it was called, but the third song before you play it,

it was like, it was called like what's popping. And I go, and I go, Oh, what's popping. You play it. And he goes, what's popping. And I go, Oh, poppin'? Oh, yeah. And I go, oh, what's poppin'? You play it, and he goes, what's poppin'? And I go, oh.

And then Eric goes, oh, you know this song. And I said, dude, he's following that YouTube algorithm. You got it. You got to get to the point in the first 10 seconds, because people are going to click through. The engagement's going to fall off. It's like, quick, say the name of the song. All right, got it.

It's 100% how Jack Harlow is how he is. And then there was this picture at the KFC. He wouldn't look at the food. It's 100% how Jack Harlow is, how he is. And then there was this picture at the KFC. He wouldn't look at the food. It's true. It's a picture of him looking off in the distance. Also, he was saying finger looking good. It's got quotes under his name saying it's finger looking good. And I was like, it's just another thing he's stealing.

Right. He stole Fergus B. And then he made a quote. He's sampling a Colonel Sanders quote. Right. Yeah. I wanted there to be like the name underneath. He stole Fergie's beat. He's sampling a Colonel Sanders quote. Right, yeah. I wanted there to be like the name underneath. It's finger-licking good, Jack Harlow.

Is that like a trap quote? It's finger-licking good? Yeah. No, I don't think so. No, it's just everything he does is just trap beats. Michael learned trap beat. I know what trap beat is. That's just everything he does.

Hey, it's gotten this far. Is it this far? Truly the top of the mountain. You guys ever hear Peppa Pig trap beat? No, that's pretty cool though. That's awesome. You ever listen to Chopped and Screwed stuff? Where they'll just do stuff, slow it down 150%,

go nuts? Chop me up. Yeah, hell yeah. Chop me up. Cut me into pieces. Throw me in the river. You know what I mean? That's a good time.

Thanks, man. It's good stuff. So KFC or with Ford or against it in general? I got 10 fingers. That's, uh-huh. You know what I mean? Yeah. You ever cut a carrot?

You cut one finger and a lot of little pieces throw it off a bridge. Like a carrot? Yeah, when you chop it. Give you one of my fingers. Why would I do that? Why not?

If you ever just want to get choppy. You text me on a late Saturday night. You're like, I just got this. I got an itch to get choppy. I got ten favors for you. Let's make something happen. So you cut off one of your fingers and chop it into little pieces. Does it have to be fingers and the carrot?

No, I'm just saying you can chop it like a carrot. As far as the little slices. It's not just one chop. You can keep going. I'm not sure you can do that. I'm not sure you would allow that to happen. The first one, definitely. I'm saying you start at allow that to happen. The first one, definitely. Well, I'm saying you start at the bottom, Jordan. After the first

chop, I'm doing what you will with the finger. I'm done with it. You've really put a lot of thought into this. Don't start at the tip. That doesn't make any sense. I just thought you wanted to make it as painful as possible. Why else would you want your finger chopped off? I don't want it. I'm just saying he might want it.

And I might oblige, depending on the situation. Right. Okay. Situationally, we might be able to chop off one of Michael's fingers. And then cut it up into little pieces like a carrot. And then I think he said throw it off a bridge. Which bridge? Oh, that's...

We go to Bat Bridge. Yeah, we go to Bat Bridge. That was my first thought, too. Maybe some little soup out. Gobble it up. We throw the pieces of the fingers, and then before they hit the water, vampire bastards.

Yeah, and then maybe after that, we just go full Morb. I don't know. Wow. You know what I mean? You think they get a taste for your blood, and then they carry you away? Like, some kind of like...

That's how it works? Yeah. I, like a lot of people, haven't seen Morbius, but I think that's his origin story. Yeah. He chops off one of his fingers small like a carrot and throws it off.

He doesn't chop off his own finger. Eric chops off his finger. I'm in Morbius and I chop off his finger. Do you think we should fuck around a little bit? No, I think we got that. I think we should get to Jordan's haiku. I did have to

change gears at the last minute. Wait, you didn't write it at 11 a.m.? I wrote it at 1046. That's after I said we were getting this other thing. I feel like you didn't have to change anything. Because it means you didn't write the affirmative. Well, I had the Arby's one ready to go. Because I do the work the day before.

That's what I'm saying. Okay, so you did actually. Right. I feel like. I had to delete it. Which was kind of dumb. I should have saved it for the next one. Yeah, right. And you cut me off mid-sentence because I was going to say, hey you did actually. Right. Right. I feel like I have to delete it, which was kind of dumb. I should have saved it for the next time. Yeah, right.

And you cut me off mid-sentence because I was going to say, hey, read it. You're like, no, I wiped it. I needed the space on my phone. So I deleted that. I'm down to kilobytes. That's not really an efficient way to organize this. So it's like the most recent ones at the top. Why do you have all of them saved?

It's so that I can be like, how many times have we done this restaurant? Oh, wow. I only have one terabyte of storage on my phone so I had to delete that haiku. My data. Eric texted us walking into the building for some reason instead of slacking us and Michael was like my data.

Well I said my minutes. And then I said he's not at my pay five. I said why are you texting me about a work situation and not slacking me? This is egregious. I haven't thought about that. Using my personal number.

I haven't thought about that. My minutes, I yelled as I squeezed past the scissor lift in the hallway. Five is a deep cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. I like that. All right. KFC haiku.

Yep. An army of chicken founded by a false icon with stolen valor. Oh, no. Oh, that's right. Mule tender Sanders. Not a real colonel. Yeah, he was a mule tender. He's a mule tender.

He tended to the mules. I hope he's burning in hell. Wow. Stolen valor. It's true. Yeah. Don't do that. I think we should start calling Eric colonel.

You want me to go to hell? You're all about Stolen Valor. That's true. I am all about Stolen Valor. This is the year of Stolen Valor. That is some serious. Yep. You got to get on that level.

Valor's been stolen for me. Michael's out here with Valor. Yeah. Colonel Michael. You want to learn about KFC? Oh, sure. Yeah. Oh, wow.

He's saluting you. That's pretty cool. I wasn't looking. I was harlowing it in another direction. Harlow. That's what we call looking. Are his fans called Harloquins? Yeah.

Damn, dude. I'll be honest, they're probably not clever enough to come up with that name. Damn. They're like Jeff Harlow. Get them. They're called Jack Harlow. Get them. They're called jack-offs. KFC. Stop flipping your papers around, all right?

Now he's having fun. Dude, his attitude turned right around. Once I opened that door, his attitude turned right around. Because I can't check messages in the middle of this. Our previous, please, I'm reading the facts. Our previous KFC episode was released December 10th, 2019. Wow, that was seven years after Jordan got hired. Where we ate the Nashville hot chicken and waffles. Seven years

in a day. It received an average score of 82. That's high. Very high. Wow. Also, very early on. Very early episode. Sounds like episode three. Very, very early episode. Although. We weren't even eating in our cars yet. Also, you said I felt like we ate KFC recently.

Yeah. It was 2019. I thought it was Arby's that we ate. Yeah. I really, in my head, for like the last month. Meanwhile, we've eaten like bleep in the bleep four times for like the last month i've been going we can't do kfc it's been so recent i can't remember what it is there's so many things that haven't happened yet in december 10th like the pandemic's the easy

one but also like the witcher tv show wasn't out yet so many life events. January 6th has yet to occur. I mean, by a wide margin. Yeah. There's so many things in between December 10th and January 6th. Well, that's crazy. I do remember that being pretty good, though.

They were fine. I think definitely early back then, people wanted to work. That's true. They just gave it to us. Yeah. No problem. Oh do you remember from the top down? You know I think you know what it was why I think of KFC being recent

is because of filming in front of the KFC with the van but also I remember going to order there so vividly because everyone was like the woman who like took her order was like yeah and yeah she was like she was like i run this place yeah she was like i'm having a good time and it was like i had to think she probably doesn't work there you need more of that

that nobody works there anymore no well they're closed well they didn't want to what i deduced was they said they close at 7 p.m but they didn't want to. What I deduced was they said they close at 7 p.m., but they didn't say when they opened. That's true. And so they may have closed at 7 p.m.

It could have been weeks ago. It could have been weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's important information to not include. Although KFC is no longer

special to anyone in the United States, KFC is a big Christmas tradition in Japan with holiday sales accounting for over one-third of the chain's total revenue. This is tied big Christmas tradition in Japan with holiday sales accounting for over one third of the chain's total revenue this is tied with radish carving in Mexico as weird as Christmas tradition

where you should be opening presents and drinking years later and no one has figured out the KFC recipe no matter how many mashable listicles you find and tweet at us no one has done it and God is still in his throne and all is right in the world. That's a real 11 a.m. fact. Nah, it was like 10.15.

What? That was a scrambling fact. What's a mashable listicle? What is this? What's that? Did you make that word up which one both well i mean those are those are both words michael has never seen before well i thought when i started reading mashable i thought it was going to be something related to mashems the toys that you open in

blind box it's a blind oh yeah like you're not watching Mashable blind box openings on YouTube? No, I only do listicles. Dude, Mash... Mashems. Like, which squishy Mashem are you gonna get? Mashem Squishems? Mashem Squishems?

Eric's looking to me for help, and I was like, Are they, like, animals? Are they anything? Like, what? Like, Marvel? Like, DC? Like, Funko Pops?

Like, Disney? Like, Frozen? Mashables. Okay. Mashables. Okay. Mashems. What are you, stupid? I don't know. In February of 2020, KFC partnered with Crocs, not Killer Croc.

No. Who probably has a Mashem, to make exclusive collab shoes that sold out in minutes. The KFC X Crocs looked like a bucket holding fried chicken with two fried chicken gibbets attached. No word on if the shoes make your feet smell like KFC, but we know one little monkey who's willing to find out. Who? Nick's face reading that he in he i think he was trying to hold tough so that way no one

thought that he wanted to go find out if the feet smell like kfc he's waiting until no one looks at him what's happening i got it this is my second alert of the day of what you were the first alert alert oh you have another alert brown Brown water! Keep me away from pasta Pete. Oh no, we're out of water again? He'll be making me suck it down. No. Brown water! Brown water! What about brown

water? Well, probably drink it. It says, it says, alert, brown water. Don't worry about it. Don't be a baby. Brown water. And the final fact. In 2005, a Los Angeles KFC customer was served a piece of chicken that looked like a rat with its tail still attached.

After the suit was filed, the fried rat was tested at an independent lab and found to be chicken. KFC, like the police, are able to launch an internal investigation and clear themselves of any wrongdoing? I don't think so. I smell a rat. Was the rat the chicken or the KFC? Well, they found out that the rat was chicken, but I do think that the rat was a rat. And KFC is also a rat?

Well, KFC- Do you think Mule Tender Sanders was actually Rat Tender? I hadn't considered him tending to rats in the army, but- Who's to say? That's potentially- Probably a lot of rats that hang around mules anyway. It's just like a byproduct of mule tending. Apparently, it's a byproduct. Apparently you

haven't thought about anything, have you? Apparently it's also a byproduct of chicken frying. I hadn't thought about the rats who hang around mules in the army. Now, do you think rats can also be crisis actors? I do now. I hadn't thought about that. Oh no. This was

2015. This was years before january 6th that's true wow i think and they were already plotting it typical who was president then oh i don't know obama got him thanks thanks obama we're on to your little rat legion. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that was an Eric proxy. He got caught up in the fryer. It took them a decade to train them up, but they pulled it off. January 6th? Yeah. When did Obama start?

You know, what is it, 2008? He had 10 years to train those rats. Over. Over 10 years. train those rats. Over. Over 10 years. Michael sounds like every person interviewed by Andrew Callahan. Callahan Auto? I think. Do you need brakes pads?

It's Michael has. I go to Zelinsky's. Michael has theories. No, I have facts. theories. No, I have facts. Michael has theories about who does what and when they do these things and

how things come to pass. Right. And then I say debate me. I have no leg to stand on. However, I will be loud about it. I have no leg to stand on so you have nothing to counter. Good luck. Who knows what the fuck I'm going loud about it. I have no leg to stand on, so you have nothing to counter. Good luck.

Who knows what the fuck I'm going to say next. I have nothing but accusations. Good luck catching air, motherfucker. I will hurl accusations, and if you cannot defend them, I win. Refuse everything I'm saying immediately now, or I win. Or you're a lizard man. Suck on that. This is not the first time.

You reptilian piece of shit. I thought he was a rat. Go crawl into the sand. He's saying it like it's a joke, but not the first time he's talked to me about lizard people. Yeah. Because it's not a joke.

It's a very real situation. We know they walk amongst us, Eric. Yeah. They could be in this very room. I assume anyone denying them is one of them or one of their slaves. They have lizard people slaves? Well, yeah. There's going to be humans that are like-

Subserving to their will. Subserving to lizard people. Uh-huh. Obviously. You're both- Yeah. You're both looking at me and nodding and going, yes. Yes, obviously.

You think there's nobody that's going to side with the lizards? That's just stupid. That's just stupid. Actually, think about it for once. Think about why. There are people right now rejoicing for the lizard people going, yeah, that's my team. Like the Cleveland Browns. Yeah, dude.

They're wearing like jerseys. They're probably giving promises of like, yeah, we'll make you a lizard. They're not like the promises of like, yeah, we'll make you a lizard. They're not like the Cleveland Browns. But they don't know that. They're not like the Cleveland Browns because the lizards win. Oh, wow. And those are the facts.

They are? It was all written right here. We threw a couple at you. We just read everything you wrote, Eric. There are a couple right in there. Man. I thought we had already transitioned to the spit and silly portion. Yeah, me too.

Man, are you getting just brown water alerts? I got a second brown water alert! Brown water, watch the video till the end. What is this? Why are you getting clickbait alerts? Should we be concerned?

It's an advertisement. Maybe that's why they weren't serving the lemonade. The water was too brown. Hey, why do they make Jack Harlow look like the Unabomber? You are not kidding. What is this art? It's like a police sketch. 100%.

That's black and white. And it's, I mean, shy of having the hoodie, it looks like the Unabomber. He's got the glasses. It's the sketch. It's just wearing. Weird. I don't like, did they make that not trying to make him look like the Unabomber? Because it screams Unabomber.

I think people have just forgotten. Well, I think it's not so much forgotten as wasn't alive. Who the Unabomber is. You can't forget what you don't know. Exactly. Right. So I suppose the people who know Jack Harlow also don't know the Unabomber. Leslie, if anyone asks, this is the Unabomber.

Who's the Unabomber? The fucking Jack Harlow guy? What's his name? Ted Kaczynski? No, his name is Jack Harlow. Oh, Kaczynski. So this is the Unabomber. So what are your thoughts?

Right? This man blew people up and this guy is blowing up the charts, baby. He's blowing up with Lundy, Lundy, Lundy, Lundy. Oh, it's a different one. My favorite song is Dua Lipa. Why does he have a song called Dua Lipa?

I don't like it. I don't like it either. It's a bad song. It's just him standing on the shoulders of women better than him once again churchill look what i've achieved my song dualipa i can't believe churchill downs is like his single and it's like oh man this is why he got drake and it's like don't do this to yourself stop drake got him i don't think so i think i think drake was like i'll show up on this feature for this thing yeah you got it how much absolutely he's also got a little like uh gold i assume gold

chain uh necklace on this picture and the like the main part is the shape of kentucky yeah i think that's what it is yeah but also is he from there yes this answers this answers all of my questions it looks weird though too because it the it doesn't look like it's connected to the Is he from there? Yes. This answers all of my questions. It looks weird, though, too, because it doesn't look like it's connected to the chain. Yeah, it's just kind of floating there. But, you know, it's... Maybe it's a pin. Its impression is surreal art.

So you were talking about, like... Hang on. Do you like... You got to pick one. This or the Pig Wars clip art? I mean... Which one's better i mean i i appreciate the the uh the audacity to go with the the pig wars clip art and put that outside i'm just saying you had a lot to say

when talking about clipping on this let me break this down helmet doesn't fit his head this is an angry birds asset. I have notes. I think... This at least looks good. It's just the main problem is that he's the Unabomber. I think that's the thing. I think they were trying to make it look like the Colonel Sanders thing. No, the Colonel didn't blow up anybody.

No, but like... Not even except your toilets. Because I think... Terrible. I think that what the Jack Harlow thing is, is derivative of that. And it's a graphic designer. How dare you call Jack Harlow derivative of anything?

How is the man known for his original creativity? I did that. Jack Harlow. No, his would be, I made this. Oh, man. That's really something. I think there's a graphic designer that just went, I bet I can make him look like the fucking Uniball.

How close can I push you without getting a note about it? Are you telling me that that's not what happened? That's a coincidence. You can't. Absolutely. There's no way. No way it's a coincidence. That guy doesn't like Jack Harlow.

It's a graphic designer who went, we're doing a fucking Jack Harlow meal. And then drew something that probably looked good and then went, I make it look like a fucking Unabomber. Why not? And then pushed it and like really, really pushed it. He didn't look like the Unabomber in the store. He just looked like a guy that refused to look at his meal. Yeah, and he does have sunglasses on in the drawing.

He's just always wearing those sunglasses and never looking at the food. To promote this whole thing, in Kentucky this week, he worked a drive-thru. What was that like for him? He was in... Go ahead. He looked like a guy who just worked there. You wouldn't go to this KFC and go, wow, Jack Harlow.

Oh, wow, Jack Harlow. Wow, bearded white guy. You would just go, that guy must have quit GameStop and started working here. He's bearded like I'm bearded. I give him 10% more. That was another thing. It was like, some people just like should give up on beards.

Yeah. Like, who told them it was a good idea? Right. You know, when you see me, it's just laziness. Yeah. I know it looks like shit. I just don't care. So manufactured.

I'm not Jack Harlow. It's so. You think he was made in the lab? Yes. Jack Harlow. It's so... You think he was made in a lab? Yes. Jack Harlow. Wow. Leslie just fucking blew my mind with the worst

picture of Jack Harlow I've ever seen. I take back what I said. That person should have a beard. I don't care. I don't care how bad it is. Cover that man's face. Hey, Jack, cover it up. He looks like young Elon Musk. That was.

He does. Yeah, before the hair. Wow. The hair transplant. Before he just injected things into his face. Yeah. Wow. Damn.

Anyway. Poor Jack. All right, Jordan, you want to tell us about the meal? It sucks to be the king. The KFC Jack Harlow meal. Jack Harlow's meal combines some of Jack's favorite KFC items. A spicy chicken sandwich,

secret recipe fries, mac and cheese, a ranch dip cup, and an ice cold lemonade. Dude, Jack's a wild man at KFC. Give me the chicken sandwich. Whoa! So he just eats the ranch dip cup?

Yeah, yeah. One bite cup and all. Just domes it. Because I was like, do I dip the fries in it? I forgot. When Eric was very angry at the KFC, we were. I was angry inside of the KFC. You were angry at the KFC location, not angry at the employees of KFC.

Very cranky, though. Dude, the three of us, we were having so much fun. It was a good time. Eric was intentionally like several feet away just stealing. Right, yeah. He felt like he had to keep standing there, otherwise they'd forget he was there. He also made the mistake. Absolutely.

I forgot. I didn't get to this later. I was going to say it. I trailed off. All right. He ordered and then said, I. I forgot. I didn't get to this later. I was going to say it. I trailed off. All right. He ordered and then said, I don't know what the woman said to him. Like, I'll make your food now. And he went, oh, take your time.

No rush. And they took it to heart. But that was fine. I didn't mind how long they were taking. That was fine. But they really took their time. And I said it to Jordan. After minutes and minutes, you probably didn't realize time had passed

because your head was on fire. I went over to Jordan. I was like, wow, Eric fucked up again because they are really taking their time. And Jordan was like, yeah, you ordered. And then they went, go ahead and set this to priority zero. Because they took their time. So they finally get the food, and I overheard the woman say,

she was like, do you want the ranch cups? And I was just like, and I just yelled, gotta have the ranch cups. Gotta have it like Jack has it. Yeah. You were at the soda fountain sitting in front. I wasn't even looking at her. I was just yelling out loud. Yeah.

Gotta have it like Jack. Gotta have it like Jack. Gotta have it like Jack. My hero, Jack Harlow. There are other people. We already missed out on the lemonade. We can't give up the ranch cups he loves eating. There are people who came in to order food after us, and they were just told,

get out. Get out. And we only thought it was okay because somebody was coming out of the kfc yeah absolutely she also didn't say leave yeah she told everyone after and said hey what do you want yep um and eric said slow service and she went no problem but before we left too jordan you what did you say to nick about the sauce that was sitting there because i of course like saw him grab like a bunch of the hot sauce the one that was like closest to the bag and i saw that they had other

ones i was like it was like in case you know did you grab the other ones like they had the honey and the and the other one did you grab those ones and he's like oh yeah i fucking got it there was a pause and he kind of was like oh yeah i already got it like like not only did he get him you didn't see him do right? Yeah Oh, I see you want to see me do it again. I said I said he's already gotten him and he's actually eaten a few He's eating a couple on spec he's just gonna He's gonna see how these work out We were trying the Mountain Dew sweet lightning and he was trying the honey

He was trying the Mountain Dew Sweet Lightning and he was trying the Honey Apatis. I just didn't see what it tastes like. Yeah, it was in the cup already. Yeah, you're coming home with me. Oh, man. I'll have to send my wife back later to get some more. We should have the Jack Harlow meal. I'll trick her into getting KFC later. All right, it looks like we got two items here.

Oh, yes, we do. Two? Very rare that it's a bulleted list. Quote, partnering up with KFC feels like poetic justice. That's what happens when the bad guy kills your wife, and then you kill him at the end of the movie. That's poetic justice. What does that even mean?

Poetic justice. What does that even mean? Teaming up with KFC was ice cold vengeance on my part. KFC, a dish best served cold. What? I think his idea of poetry is from that behind the scenes of episode one, Star Wars. It's like poetry. It rhymes. What are you talking about? I've begun traveling the world. from that behind the scenes of episode one Star Wars? It's like poetry. It rhymes. Oh my God.

I've begun traveling the world and no matter how far I go, KFC is one of the first things people want to bring up when they find out where I'm from. Yeah, it's funny. And then I say, what about my music? And they say, quiet. I'm talking

about the Colonel. Do you have any chicken I heard you're from Kentucky give me chicken poetic justice and now for my suffering KFC shall pay

this is restitution Harlow said in a press release, I'm excited to align myself. Uh-oh, PR coming in. Align myself with something that started in Kentucky but resonates all over the globe. I grew up going to the restaurant with my family. Here are a few of the menu items I've been enjoying since I was a child.

Sounds just like something he said. Yeah. He's been eating ranch cups since I was a child. Sounds just like something he said. He's been eating ranch cups since he was a kid. I like the plastic. I've been fucking doming ranch cups since I was four. Eat up. Anyway, I'm a normal person. Next piece of press material says, quote, it goes without saying that our classics will never go out of style.

But as Jack's favorites, a few of them are getting celebrity status. Whoa. KFC CMO Nick Chavez said in the release. We are excited to make Jack's favorites available now. They were already available, available now on the KFC app and can't wait to share what's next with Jack. What? There's more. Stay tuned. You won't want to miss it. Whoa. Dude, turns out he's going to take something else. He's going to put his name on something else.

He's working his way in so he can take it down from the inside. They probably want to tap him for the McDonald's bop, bop, bop, bop. But I think he's just going to be the colonel next. I think he's just going to take that, slow it down a little bit and then say a couple of words on top.

Yeah. And that's going to be Jack Harlow's sort of call out for KFC. See that you're looking good. Jack horrible. And then Drake is in there for some reason. Yeah. Right. That's pretty gang. Right?

That's pretty good. Right? Yep. People say that. I've heard it. I hear it. That's what they've said. Did it need to be a fucking sampler, though?

Couldn't it have just been a meal instead of like, here are some items I like all together in a meal because this was too much food. This was way too much food. Fries, mac and cheese, and a big old sandwich. And I had a whole ranch cup I had to drink. Yeah, you kept drinking it too. Put a straw in it and everything. Like Jack does. Well, that's why we didn't have the lemonade

to wash it all down. Didn't miss it. Sweet lightning. By the way, I'll note, after I screamed, gotta have the ranch, gotta have it like Jack, didn't even open mine. Don't care. You were the one who not to eat it. After, by the way, I'll note, after I screamed, gotta have the ranch, gotta have it like Jack, didn't even open mine. Don't care. You were the one who didn't know. Oh, absolutely. I was like, I'm not eating this.

I was trying to figure it out. I was like, so does Jack dip his fries in it? Does he? They don't tell us. That's for you to decide. No instructions included. Yeah, apparently. Yeah, you gotta just shoot it down. Gun it like a jello shot. So what do you think, Jordan? Score-wise, what do you think of the Jack Harlow meal from KFC? A.K.A. a chicken sandwich.

Yeah. Some fries, some mac and cheese, and... The chicken sandwich isn't bad. But as a meal, my biggest problem with it is that it's too much food. By the time you get to the mac and cheese... Yeah, but you gotta be hungry like Jack Harlow. Did he ever mention how hungry he is all the time? I mean, he's that hungry.

Now you know. I know that these are some of his favorite items from when he was a child. Yeah. I don't know that he eats this all the time as a meal. I think so. I think he has to now. Well, people are always talking to him about it. Did you hear people, first thing they say to him?

First thing they say to him, no matter where he goes. Wow. So let's talk about KFC. You're from Kentucky? Chicken! Hey, I'm talking to Jack Harlow. Did you ask me about the chicken? First thing I said.

What's it like? Is it better there? Yeah. Wow, because they don't got to fly the chickens out, right? They just, they're there already. They're just there. The chicken and the rats, they're all there. In LA, I'm eating flown chicken.

And rats. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's a real problem because chickens can't fly. The rats are actually flown in. In LA. I'm eating flown chicken. And rats. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's a real problem because chickens can't. The rats are actually flown in from New York. That's sizable. Oh.

That's like how Home Slice does the New York pizza dough. Yep. Think about it. New York rats. I think the chicken sandwich is good. It's the best part. The mac and cheese is bad. It smells bad.

It tastes bad. No. Yeah. Did you pour the ranch in it? That's the one thing i didn't do with the ranch and i think all right hold on let's go back and get it we gotta try again um i mean it's no 82 but like these days what is you know nothing you know what i mean based purely on jack harlow as a person and how I perceive him, I'm giving this a 52. Oh, okay. Okay.

I don't rate this meal very highly. Okay. Or Jack. You definitely don't rate Jack Harlow very highly. I will say that's higher than I thought he was going to rate Jack Harlow. Yeah. He said something really nice about the chicken and then hit it with a 52. It's only one part of it.

Jack, you got to take in Jack. You got to take in the mac and cheese. Jack and cheese. I don't know that you actually have to take in Jack at all because as far as I'm aware, you did not chop off and eat his finger. He keeps looking at me. And not the food.

Right, he's looking at you because he wants you to rate him well. He's a five-star man. The other thing about this drug is that his mouth is just ever so slightly open in a very unsettling way. What, do you want him to breathe? Jack Harlow is definitely a mouth breather. Jordan's right. The chicken was good.

It was a good chicken sandwich. The mac and cheese, I don't think it was bad, but it's not good. It's just mediocre. It's just like tasteless mac and cheese. I don't remember KFC fries. I probably had KFC last time we had it. They were good, actually. Yeah.

They were actually pretty decent fries. They got a good seasoning. Crispy, too. They reminded me of Wendy's new fries. Totally different. But the chicken, well, I said reminded me of. I didn't say they were the same. Not even in the same neighborhood. No, they're in the same. Totally different. But the chicken, well, I said reminded me of. I didn't say they were the same. Not even in the same neighborhood.

No, they're in the same. Totally different. Don't even. How many times have you had Wendy's in the last week, Jordan? The last week. Yeah, exactly. Actually. Go ahead.

I'm trying to remember if it was Tuesday or Wednesday. It may have been. Maybe once. It may have been in the last seven days one time. Wow. Somebody give him his big boy pan. Hell yeah, get him. Well. Wow. Somebody give him his big boy. Hell yeah. Get him.

Well, boom. It was pretty good. And I knowing nothing about Jack Harlow, I think learning him as a human being today don't despise him nearly as much as Jordan. Well, I think we've constructed a better persona for him over the course of this episode. I agree. That if he takes to heart, maybe that score can change. I agree.

Yeah, we could make the guy successful, I think, because clearly he's not already. He's successful, but I mean, like... Is he face jam successful? Does he want to continue down this path? I think not. Let us fix you, Jack Harlow, and make you something that

no one will want, but we'll like. Okay? Jordan might retroactively give you a 55. Wow! If you follow some of his tips. I might bump it up to a 56. Wow! Okay. That said, ignoring the fact that he has killed and bombed,

I'm gonna say that was pretty good. I'm gonna say that was pretty good. We've had a lot of crap lately. I'm gonna hit it with a 70. That was pretty good. 61. That's fair for both this meal and Jack Harley.

I feel like it's better than a 61. And Jordan took some liberties. What do you mean it's better than a 61? The sandwich is certainly better than a 61. But this whole meal as you mean it's better than a 61? The sandwich is certainly better than a 61, but this whole meal as a thing is not better than a 61. Are we really going to argue about the scores like it's December 2019? I'm not going to argue about anything. I'm just going to say when Eric was mad and now Jordan sounds mad.

Jack Harlow. I will say it was like 45 bucks for five of these meals. So if that's... What are you saying? If that's a price point that you're like fine with for a chicken sandwich and fries and mac and cheese. I will say he kept saying it was a lot of food. I didn't think it was that much food at all. I mean, it's...

Nick, don't. He kept saying it was a lot of food. I didn't think it was that much food at all. I mean, it's... Nick, don't. It's a meal. You're a vacuum. You're a bottomless pit. A sandwich and fries. You might have a tapeworm. The only thing extra is a small cup of macaroni and cheese. Yeah.

I don't... We've eaten a lot bigger meals. Definitely. Yeah. I think it's... I think this was probably like the most fine meal that we've eaten in a while. We've eaten a lot of crap lately. This didn't suck. That's true. This probably the most fine meal that we've eaten in a while. We've eaten a lot of crap lately.

This didn't suck. That's true. We need a separate rating for these celebrity meals we've tried. It was a decent chicken sandwich. I think the whole meal gimmick is fucking stupid. It's a spicy chicken sandwich from KFC. So weed is still the best. By some maniac who just blows people up.

Really weird for them to align on this. I don't understand. Finally, my values align with KFC. Poetic justice! What the hell is he talking about? Why was my bag ticking? Okay, here's a snack attack.

This is from Jason M., who sent in a box of Milk Bar cookies. Are you guys familiar with Milk Bar? Oh, yeah, I've had these. Have you? Uh-huh. Oh, nice.

Not that one. Milk Bar. I thought these would be fitting since Milk Bar founder was interviewed on a show hosted by Face Jam breakfast taco recipe creator Roy Choi. Whoa! You mean founder of Best Friend, Roy Choi. I ate there when we went to Vegas. It was great.

Yeah, but ours was better, right? Yep. Well, because we had all the ingredients. Right. We had the right amount of soy sauce. Right, right, right. I see. This box has a lot of words on it.

It says, Milk Bar, Corn Flake Chocolate Chip Marshmallow Cookies, Soft Baked. I'm trying to remember the one I had. It came in a pink package. This package is yellow. Yeah, confetti flavor. This one has a lot of stuff in it. It's shaped like milk. Yeah, fun.

It's like you're tearing it. It did not click with me at all. Not many things do. All right. You want one of these, you monster? There's two in there, by the way. Thank you. There's extra to go around.

There's two in each package. He rarely shares. I had this problem with the other one I had. They come in the bag and then you open it and they're just stuck together. Used together? Yeah. Bottoms up. Nice.

Nope. This. Fucker. It's a little too soft bake for me. It's very soft. Yeah. This is like... Why is there cornflake? I don't understand that. Chips Ahoy used to have ones like this.

And, like, if you ever got them, they came in, like, the red package. If you ever got them and you, like... You're talking about chewy. Yeah, the chewy ones, like, they're so inferior. I'll tell you this. They're way chewier than this. I don't... They are.

Because I bought them specifically. This reminds me of this. I'llier than this. I don't. They are. Because I bought them specifically. This reminds me of this. I'll tell you this. I bought chewy chips away specifically because when you have two-year-olds eating cookies, boy, they bite into those and they fucking explode everywhere. Smart. Them soft cookies, no crumbs. Smart man.

That's why I bought them. This guy's got kids. So I'd suck down a chewy here and there. And you're right. They are softer, but this is a whole other level. This is like eggy soft. Yeah, right? It's still like

the batter was just made and they haven't been cooked yet. I can't read this far away. I also have problems reading. You're going to have to pass that to Eric so he can ignore you again. He's an advocate for missionary and calls himself Missionary Jack. Is this another Harlow fact? We're going back to Harlow?

We have a lot of Harlow facts. Do you work for him? Also, I don't think he should call himself that. He should call himself Cowgirl Jack. That'd be cool. Okay, so what do you give the cookie I mean the flavor's good but It's too soft Yeah texture's such a big part of it that I'm

It feels undercooked I'm a little torn I don't really know what to give it I don't want to slam it It's a good flavor but like yeah It's not for me, man. Give this one. I'm going to execute order 66 on this one. Got it.

Oh, wow. It's higher than I thought. I'm going to give it a 50. Just on texture. The flavor's good, but you got to leave that in the oven. Come on. That's a 58. Come on, milk bar cookie guy.

The other flavor I got, way better than this. Also, Jason M. Did he throw in some brown water? Is that a monkey safari hat? Monkey safari hat! More costumes. Put that fucking hat on right now, and then I want to hear this monkey screech.

He looks like the hunter from Jumanji. A book to read to your small child. Oh, is that a puppet? It's a finger puppet book. I have one like that, but it's a dragon. But I read it to myself. What's it say? It says daddy and wasn't daddy and me? Hell yeah.

Now make a monkey shriek sound. Wow. You didn't have a lot of confidence. I'll be honest. I did not. I thought like an ooh-ooh-ee-ee or something. Wow. You didn't have a lot of confidence. I'll be honest. I did not. I don't know what I expect. I thought like an ooh-ooh-ee-ee or something, but. Are you guys stoked for RTX and the live show we're going to do?

I was just about to say, if you want to send us snacks, you can. Send them to Face Jam, Caraveira, Padua, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. Here's the thing about RTX. We are doing a live show at RTX. And. I didn't agree to this. Do we also want to announce the merchandise that we're going to have at RTX?

I don't know what that is. The thing that you have. Now, when you say have at. You can buy it at RTX. Oh, baby. I lost it. Yeah, we should. We should definitely.

I want to hold it down, but I lost it. Is it under the papers? I don't know. Try lifting up the papers. I'm to hold it now, but I lost it. Is it under the papers? I don't know. Try lifting up the papers. I'm holding. You stole it. It was under your papers. I don't know why he's throwing his hands up in the air.

Saw that coming a mile away. He's got his own papers. Where the Eric didn't, honestly. This came from Michael from, I mean, months ago. I want to go back and see when this idea was put in the slack because I want to say it was a year and a half ago. No, you're crazy. You're a maniac.

It's nowhere near that long ago. It had to be at least six months ago. That's probably more accurate. We are selling at RTX the Face Jam Switch Fork. I know what you're thinking uh-huh did he's did he misspeak uh-huh just now is eric stroking out no no no in fact yes he is right but ignore that because what he's saying somehow but i've gotten all the information right somehow he's fighting through it yeah you can check out uh check it out on our Twitter and Instagram. This is a...

Michael said, wouldn't it be cool if there was a... Oh, really? Yeah. January 18th. Nice. Wow. It was six months ago. Cool.

There was some Face Jam merch going on. Uh-huh. We were talking about monkey stuff. And I put a link in. So what it actually was, I'll give Sean Hines credit. What it was was he tweeted and he said, this feels like something Eric would own, so it could be the next great Face Jam merch item.

How about it? And I think it's a Hamburglar Switchblade. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it made me laugh, and I posted that in the Slack, and I said, this but a fork. And you said yes, and then I said, never leave home without your Face Jam pocket fork. That was before we'd come up with switch fork.

And we're just going on about it. Jordan said, can it say gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat? Because I think that's what the Hamburglar one says. Right. And Tony replied basically going, we have these utensils. The ones that were already made. Which are great. You've heard me talk about it well after they were made that I approved them because I eat my soup with the spoon.

Because I like a long spoon, not a wide spoon. Don't get me started again. Okay. And I was like, hey, I'm just saying man, switch fork could be cool and it just was never mentioned again. No one was like we'll make this nothing and then I'll have to dig around some more. It was

probably another three months later and it was like, hey, so here we made that switch fork and I was like, oh! so we made that switch for it. It looks so fucking cool. It's like this, like, pearl-ish, like, marble-looking handle that says Face Jam in, like, an old English font. 100% eat, and you hit the button. March 15th. It was two entire months later. Just dropped a video, and he said, you guys still want to make this?

And we freaked out. We started freaking out. So listen to the quality of this. So sick. And it's even better. Yeah, dude. There's a lot of quotes I could put on this fork, right? Like, I've been showing everyone this video

because he had like a test model made a couple months ago and I showed everyone the video and the build up is great because it looks like a pocket knife. It looks like a switchblade, right? That's exactly and everyone's like, oh, you're doing that. And then it goes and a fork comes out. Whoa! Every single time, 100%. You showed it over

off to people over there. I showed it to STF, which is in the next room and you guys could hear them cheering through the wall. We were like, what in the room reacted. I was like, Michael just showed them the switchboard. This is the first day I've ever actually held it. It's in my hand, and I open it up, and we're like, whoa! The dream is a reality. Dude, it's a reality.

Every single person I've told about this thinks it's like the fucking coolest thing ever. Leslie, the intern, is here. I open it, and she goes, oh. Wow. And it's on video. Yeah, that's the video it, and she goes, oh. Wow. And it's on video. Yeah, that's the video of me. She goes, oh, wow.

The only person, the hundred people. She was like, okay. And that's the one, that's the one, that's the one we recorded. Like, I literally left the room to show the other room, and you can hear Blaine like, ah! Like, freaking out. We don't have that on video. Awesome. We have Leslie going, oh. Wow.

Pretty good. But this thing rules. So come to RTX. Come be part of our live episode and get a switch fork. How are we selling this in the convention? Isn't this like a weapon? No, it's a fork. Right. The Forks of Weapons.

Isn't a fork just like a knife times four? Yeah. No. Yeah. I feel like you wouldn't be able to get in the convention with this, but we're letting people buy it in the convention. They can't get out of the convention. So there's kind of like-

You live there. Here's the plan. We're going to buy it. You're going to turn around and walk away, and it's going to be confiscated. I think we're going to have to. And then we're going to resell that same fork over and over again. We're actually bringing this one fork. We've got to wash that one.

It's the only one we're bringing. I'm not washing it. I started licking it immediately. I ate my mac and cheese with it. Probably why I gave the food a higher rating, because I ate it with the switch fork. This, by the way, is the item we've talked about. Yes. If you've been like, what I'm excited for. because I ate it with the Switch 4. This, by the way, is the item we've talked about. Yes.

Whatever we sell at RTX is what we have of this and then have to try to reorder whatever. If we don't sell out of it, we're going to try to put it online so that way if you're not at RTX, you can buy it. I will say I don't think it's going to make it. If we don't sell out of this, you fucked up. This is your loss. This shit is fucking cool.

You're the one missing out if you do not buy this. It's even got a clip. You can put it on the outside of your belt or your pants just to warn people you're ready to eat. And then you go to like, if you go to Gus's Fried Chicken, like right across the street, you just go like, they're like, here's your silverware. And you go, don't worry, I got it covered. I brought my own. Yeah.

Snicked. We're science. Hey's your silverware. And you go, don't worry, I got it covered. I brought my own. Yeah. Snicked. Weird science. Hey, guys? Yeah. What's up? Why do you sound so weird? Yeah, where are you? Why are you interrupting the episode?

I'm at the Austin Convention Center. I wanted to check things out before RTX. And there's no way we're getting these switch forks. What do you mean? Well, like I said, it's like security. Yeah. That's not happening. Huh?

Well, okay. They have pictures of the switch fork with the Face Jam logo on it and one of those circles with the no through it. Oh, but maybe, no, I think that's just saying that they're fans of Ghostbusters. They're saying this is good for Ghostbusters. I'm starting to think that despite what Eric...

That means no ghosts, Eric. Oh. Despite what Eric said, I don't think it's, quote, fine. That's correct. That's correct. Oh. Well, what I'm understanding is they will not be available for purchase or bringing into the Austin Convention center, believe it or not.

So, so definitely don't bring your own. Okay. So maybe you're right. Maybe this one time you were right. Yeah, no, he's okay. So he's okay. We're really losing connection. I can't understand. Okay. So maybe in this one instance i can say that you were right and i was less right and that these may be wrong these maybe these won't be at rtx but will soon be available after rtx for all jammers across uh these beautiful united states i i assume you can get them internationally too,

but I can't, you know, at this point, I can't promise anything. I'll take a hot dog and a slice of pizza. Okay, no, stop. Don't order. We have to eat the food later. Like, why would you order more food? Yeah, what's up, Jordan?

What's up? Were you able to sneak your switch fork in so that we can still show it to all the jammers? I don't have to go through the metal detector. I sneak all kinds of contraband in. Oh, you're kind of like special and stuff. That's pretty cool.

Wow. Yeah, there's tons of stuff that I use. Well, you guys can come look but can't touch at RTX and then buy it soon after. Touch me or my switch fork. Right, right. You can look at the switch fork

and you can see the live taping of an episode at RTX. That's fun for you even though you can't have the switch fork and you can see the live taping of an episode at RTX. That's fun for you, even though you can't have a switch fork. Do we use tape? Well, okay, live recording. Yes, on this one, we are going to be using tape. It's going to be on film. This is one that's going to be on film.

I'll bust out my reel-a-reel. Wes, he's a friend that I know. He said that everything has to be on film. So he's going to explain the Green Knight during the panel, but I just don't know if we're going to have time for that. Big pizza guy. Well, I guess we'll see at RTX. Don't come looking to buy a switch fork.

It's weird science. And that's it. It's a weird thing. It reminds me of like, again, you got the comb, right? Like, oh, it's a knife. Oh, it's just a comb. I feel like you go, oh, it's a knife. Oh, it's a fork.

It's honestly just as dangerous. Or it's confusing. It's a fork? I don't feel threatened, but I should. You can still stab me. Right. We also have some more RTX. still stab me.

Right. We also have some more RTX. What? We also have some more RTX merch that's going to be in Austin July 1st through 3rd.

Are you serious? Yeah. But I'm only going to be there the first. Oh, okay. Find Michael on the first only, I guess. When's the Face Jam thing?

I don't remember. Probably the second. Probably. Good luck. Good luck. I guess we'll have to see if Nick will have to take over as the Michael.

Michael from the live show. Michael from the live show. Michael from the live show. Finally working it. See how much this guy's been talking? He's been practicing. He's been practicing his English. He's almost as good as I are. Wow.

So we have a lot of exclusive stuff, a lot of cool stuff. Legally, I now have to say I'll be there every day. Oh, okay, cool. Thank you. Someone will make Eric cranky again and tell him that you have to have Michael'll be there every day. Okay, cool. Thank you. Someone will make Eric cranky again and tell him that you have to have Michael re-record. Stop making jokes!

He better be there or else. This is what I think. So I'm going to start out RoosterTeeth.com to check out what we did not sell, but I don't know that you're going to. It might be Slim Pickens. Just come to RTX. It'll be easier. I think that's it from our merch side. Oh, 100% eat shorts are going to be reordered.

So just go to the website. Sign up for the notification so you can get them. Are we sold out? Yeah. Well, I still have a pair under my desk. Should we put that in the store? No, I think you can hang on to those. I don't want them, though.

Just in case. Okay. But if you need one more. Okay. There's a pair under my desk. I'll let them know. Okay. Thank you. Say goodbye. but if you need one more there's a pair under my desk I'll let them know say goodbye

rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food send it to the Jack Harlow lover in your life if such a thing exists rate 5 stars and comment switch fork can't wait I like it

snicked Oh wait, I like it. Snicket.