100% Eat - Little Caesars Crazy Calzony

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Little Caesars Crazy Calzony so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about reheating while bathing, slapping a wall, the need for a spaghetti bucket return, and more. Sponsored by DoorDash (download DoorDash app + FACEJAM2021) and Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. What? What's up? It's not you, there's more. Oh! You have to read it out loud. Oh. Yeah. I was reading it to myself. Yeah, no, I got that. I'm not- I don't- I don't do good in public. We're in-

We're in a very small room. Well, you're my public. We're- We're your- your- Well, yeah, I'm talking and you're listening. The other peo- Right? Is that what constitutes public?

Yeah. Four bug kings. Hey, welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do.

Thanks to DoorDash and Honey for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you?

I'm good, thanks. Yeah, we're very close today. Yeah, very small room. Small table, small room. Very close quarters. We're in a temporary setup. It's fine. It's somehow nicer than our other room.

He says it's temporary. Fast forward like five years, we're still here. It's not the worst. Besides the small table, the room is in much better shape. Yeah, that's true. There's not trash everywhere. Yeah. A little...

I'm missing something, though, like something red with like a flower on it. Yeah. I will figure it out. We really tied the room together. Today, boy, we got a corker of an episode for you. I know. Because. I don't know.

Well, I don't know. Because you're corked. I don't know if you know, if the audience knows how Face Jam works is we record this bit at the end. So we already did the episode. Right. And now we're doing, you know, the intro, outros and stuff. So I know it's very good. But

today, we're reviewing the McDonald's Sweetie Meal. No, that's not what it is. That's not what we're doing. Isn't that what we ate? No. And that's also not what it says on the sheet. Didn't you eat the Sweetie Meal? No. No one ate the Sweetie Meal. Are you sure? I'm with you where, like, you should project you know, the feelings you want into the world

and manifest them. But for a sweetie meal. You know, it works for certain people to just lie about what happened, so maybe we should do it. Sweetie meal. You think that we should just lie about what we did? Michael's eyes lit up when you said that. Well, I'm just saying I do have a sweet tooth. I don't actually.

I was going to say, I think we showed that you don't. I was going to say you don don't but I think he's just leaning into it so it's like I believe him yeah hey well we'll get it today we're reviewing Little Caesars crazy calzoni that's right the little guy is back Mike Illich still dead not not alive again not a zombie yet we're working on it we've got top men the scientists are in the lab top men

the best scientist Detroit can offer some of them moonlight as Detroit Tigers players but so Crazy Calzoni was probably Some of them moonlight as Detroit Tigers players. So Crazy Calzone was probably... It's a calzone at the end of a pizza? It's also shaped like a cross for some reason. Well, it's because we're good Christian boys.

Because we are? Yeah, that's why it's shaped like a cross. They did it for us? Yes. Just like he did it for us. Oh. Joe. Joe. Somebody said,

somebody called it the passion of the crust, and that was very well done. Yeah, that was Nick. That was a great joke. That was very good. This is probably, we always tell people, don't send us,

we'll pick the food, don't worry about it. You don't have to send it. I have not had a glut of people sending me things in so long not even bugs not even bugs where people are just going you have to eat the fucking calzone thing it was insane the amount of people that requested that we eat that's crazy because i feel like that happened too with the sweetie meal and we didn't know i don't i don't think anybody said a lot of

people were so many no i don't think i remember i mean i know because we talked about it on the last episode and people were like Yeah, Sweetie rules Gracie doesn't even know who Sweetie is Well, now she does She's done her homework She's done her research? Yeah

You did your research? I did Oh, she did Don't ever question her again Yeah Smart That's good She wants a job

I mean Past experience with the restaurant You know If you don't It't like three months ago listen It was longer than that certainly three months You know what we'll learn more about that

No, don't you have to learn about the facts actually No, don't. You have to learn about it in the facts. It was actually two months ago. So, you're right. I was incorrect. It's because that was one of our first repeats, and it was the Cheezer Cheezer. This is the restaurant that should have been the three-peat. This is our first three-peat. Yeah. No, Jack in the Box was our first three-peat.

Yeah, but they got blacklisted. What? Who's Jack in the Box? Yeah, Jack in the Box, the restaurant we ate at. But when you get blacklisted, you get disqualified. Disqualified from what? Just never being like. We take the episodes down. You can't download them anymore.

We actually got to delete them. You think that we should just get rid of three episodes of this podcast? Well, I'm just saying if you get the medal taken away from you, you still don't go, I got this medal. Right. Because you don't. Reggie Bush cheated. He didn't win the Heisman. Uh-huh.

And those wins didn't happen. We need to make. If you check the record books, they don't. Reggie Bush cheated. He didn't win the Heisman. Uh-huh. And those wins didn't happen. We need to make. If you check the record books, they don't exist. So Jack in the Box is going to be the Neil Armstrong of this podcast. Disqualified. Neil Armstrong? Yeah, he lied about going to the moon. What?

It was fake. Did you think you had a gotcha moment? going to the moon. What? It was fake. Did you think you had a gotcha moment? I was considering what you might have meant. Yeah. And then you were talking about

Neil Armstrong lied about going to the moon. Yeah. They took away his moon medal? His moon medal. He had the moon medal.

You think the government is against Neil Armstrong? Oh, absolutely. I think they would be together in that lie. Well, that's why his son Lance cheated. Dude, I'd want revenge from my dad, too. I'm gonna ride this bike!

Lance Armstrong didn't cheat. He just replaced his blood with different blood. Like, there's no rule that says you can't do that. Can you do that? Is that gonna help Michael with his cheese blood? Oh, yeah. Is that the problem? Is it your blood?

I think so. Okay. Yeah. So you got to get different blood. What kind of blood would you want? Like a dog blood or? No. Tiger blood was a Charlie Sheen thing, and he's.

I don't think you want to be like him. I don't want to be like him. Maybe like bat blood. Oh, wow. Bat blood could be cool. How many bats do you think it would take to fill your body with blood? A lot. A lot of bats.

But there are a lot of bats. You could stack the bats higher than Mount Everest. There'd be so many bats. They travel in herds, right? So it's like, you don't see one bat. I don't think herd is the right word. That's right. The concept is.

Gracie, look up what a herd of bats is called. Also, we're in Austin. I'll just go get a big net and go to the bridge. Yeah, you don't even have to, like, you don't even probably have to get a net. You can probably just lay down a bucket and then bats will fly into the bucket and then you have a bucket of bats.

Then it turns out the bucket was my mouth. You ate the bats? Well, how do I... And that's how I get the blood. Ozzy Osbourne over here. I figured one arm had blood going out and one arm had bat blood going in. I just figure if I eat them all, it'll slowly replace itself.

The stronger blood will take over and become more dominant. We need to make sure that we're not mistreating the bats. Are they getting your blood in their place? They're just being tossed aside. They're not being tossed aside. I'm absorbing their nutrients along with their blood. A real Morbius situation that Batman, well, he's a man bat, Spider-Man movie that's coming out.

You're talking about Owen Wilson? No, the Jared Leto one. No, that's Mobius. Same thing. Too close. Watch. You all watch. At the end of the bat movie, he's going to be like, I'm Owen Wilson.

That would be a crazy ending. He comes in. Oh, wow. Gracie, what's it called? What's a bunch of bats? A flock. A flock? That's what I said.

That's not a cool name. That's also a bad name. I thought it was going to be a cool. You thought it was going to be something cool. I thought it was going to be like an echo. Just like you were wrong about the Saweetie meal. An echo of bats. Anyway.

Echo of bats isn't bad. That's some bat talk. How do you feel about Little Caesars food in general? You know, having it as the first three-peat, now that we've come to that conclusion, I have to say, when we first, you know, 10 years ago started this crazy little podcast, had Little Caesars.

What a journey. Dude, it was like forever since I've had it. And we all had our thoughts had Little Caesars dude it was like forever since I've had it and we all had our thoughts on Little Caesars can I say now having it the third time I feel like it's the underdog of this show yeah they're scrappy

the same thing for the reason that we attack Pizza Hut because they're like king of the mountain and they just disappoint and they should be better I feel like Little Caesars just disappoint and they should be better. I feel like Little Caesars should be trash. It should be way worse than it is. It's better than trash and it's cheap and it's scrappy and it's kind of like of the people, like us.

And so I feel like Little Caesars is our restaurant in the pocket. I agree. I think that what Little Caesars does well is that their most expensive pizza is like the same price or cheaper than what the cheapest pizza is at like other fast food pizza places yeah they're carrying on mike illich's like dream yeah you know of the affordable pizza for your family was his dream to get you greasy? Oh, man. The dream achieved. He lived it out for a day. I think the grease might be a byproduct that unfortunately is unavoidable.

Oh, you got dream grease? It's dream byproduct. We grabbed a slice. Nick grabbed a slice. Crazy. Nick jumped right into the pizza. Grabbed a slice and showed me the greasiest paw I've ever seen in my life. It was a monkey paw.

It was a monkey's paw situation. And then as we ate, Michael just started getting mad. And then he was saying that he was imagining eating the pizza without napkins. Yeah. I would like to state, we had plenty of napkins. Right. We were also eating with napkins. But that didn't stop you from becoming

mad at the thought I had the thought of anger because I was like yeah imagine the scenario without napkins I'd be furious it's just so greasy it's you think of pizza as more or less not a messy food to eat with your hands yeah I mean

any pizza is greasy but this was like buckets that was insane you know this was like buckets. That was insane. You know, this was one of those, go back to I don't like being sticky, I don't like being messy. Yep. Um, the pizza also, it just completely deteriorates the second you touch it. It's like, I don't know.

On contact, it like, falls apart. There's no bonding agent in this food. It's like all the atoms and molecules know that they don't belong together, and they're just trying to separate from each other constantly. I think with Little Caesars, there's no preservatives. So, you know, you have to eat it really fast. I took a bite and was like, ooh, organic.

Yeah, organic cheese goo. Squirted right from the cow. Yeah, organic cheese goo squirted right from the cow. Seriously, though. I'll even say this. There were napkins, and I just bypassed the napkins. That was a paper towel job. You went to a paper towel.

Because you deal with napkins, and then they rip, and you get little napkin bits, and I just avoided the whole to the paper towels. The best way to eat this is probably in a bath. Oh. You know what? I agree. You should order this pizza and draw yourself a bath. Bubble bath if you're feeling luxurious. Have a bubble.

Don't take a bath if you're not going to have bubbles. Right, right. What's the point? Or a bath bomb. Yeah. But sometimes you're in the bath for a long period of time you don't want to rush i i also say maybe prop up a little portable toaster oven next to you so you can reheat it while you're bathing yeah it might get cold just you know pop in lean over pull it towards you whatever heat it up then you're good to go and the outside of those stay pretty cool

You can just hold it while you're in the bath just put the pizza. Oh, I'm always grabbing Toaster ovens while they're on I figure if it's elevated. What's the worst hotter? What's the worst that can happen and like it burns you you just drop it Yeah, I don't want I don't want the you have on top of it to fall into the bathtub. Please. Well, I don't like it. I don't take a bath unless I'm watching my stories. Not to mention my Tesla coil there, too.

Well, that's the thing, because I wear my headphones at the same time, but I don't like when my hair gets wet, so I'm constantly running the blow dryer and just keeping- You don't want wet hair in the bath. No, that would be terrible. No, no. So you just constantly run in the blow dryer to keep your hair nice and dry. Bath is a place for dry hair. Shower is a place for wet hair. Yeah, think about it. In a dry body.

If I'm even a little bit wet when I take a shower, I'm furious. Reverse shower cap. It goes around your body. So only your hair gets wet. You're like Cyclops from the 90s X-Men. Just his hair sticking out the top.

From the forehead down. His shower cap. This is a good idea. That's where you should eat this pizza. Also, Little Caesar's bath bomb. Not a bad idea. I don't think not a good idea. Not a bad one.

It was an idea. It's somewhere in the middle. Certainly, it's an idea. I'll lap in the middle. Certainly it's an idea. I'll lap up the water. Do you think it would? Jordan's bath water. Available now for one million dollars.

Hey, if someone's buying, supply and demand. This, um, this episode. The monkey agreed. No,

this is pretty good. I'm pretty sure at this point, when we record the intro later, I'm going to say this was a real corp. Because this is starting off great. I'm that confident. Sticking strong with the...

Just make reality what you want it oh it'll work oh man it'll work sometimes you just say things and then you know I say things I let them go out to the world and then I don't even remember them when people start asking questions that is true you also didn't remember I just say we need to talk in the box I didn't remember it today I didn't remember it two weeks ago yeah it's not for me our second three-peat. What was our first three feet? No, this is Jack in the box Cuz I forgot we took away their metal. Yeah

Listen after that we let him slide after that Popcorn chicken. Yeah, well they were on thin robbery. Well this guy tricks. I think he's at home painting tacos Tricking on like Wile E. Coyote, tricking us into eating the same thing again. Classic Wile E. Coyote. I was wondering why the tacos came from Acme. Well, I was dressed like a bat, and I was ready to jump off a cliff and fly down

and drop the tacos off to you, but I ran face first into a cliff. Yeah, also, if you were dressed like a bat, I would have eaten you. That's a big bat. That's a lot of blood. We only need one We got a huge bat Do you think we wet our whistle or do you think we should now try to wet our whistle? I feel like we probably accomplished. I feel like my whistles wet. I'm greasy. Yeah, ooh

Hmm. I don't know if you want a greasy whistle I don't know if you want a greasy whistle. Mm-mm. I don't like it. He liked it a lot. He's a big fan. Well, we see what's next after that. Yeah, what's next? It's Jordan's haiku.

Oh. He at least, Eric added in parentheses, Jordan will give a haiku, parentheses, or flyku if he decides he's too good for this segment again, which at least he knew what was going to happen. Well, you said it last week, so I had to make sure it made it in there. This might be a good time. 4.30 a.m. this morning.

Do you ever sleep? Yeah, you know, sometimes. Well, nighttime is my daytime. I am a bat. Oh, blood. I think this might be- Oh, no, he's licking his lips. This might be a good time to talk about what we can do instead of a haiku for these repeat restaurants.

What? For these three-peat restaurants. What are you talking about? I'm running out of syllables. There's no syllables left. Hey, little bat fang, let him talk. Okay, so what is... Put those little teeth away.

So I feel like the haiku had its moment, and we should come up with something like the format joke. It just got old. I think we should brainstorm, have a production meeting in the space of the haiku segment and talk about what we can do that's like a haiku. Okay, I think you could do a haiku. Well, that's one

idea. This guy doesn't want to come up with ideas. I think in fresh, like Little Caesars here, you're thinking, you know, frozen. Yeah, what if we, what if, ooh, a Bible verse. Reservatives. Because of the cross of the pizza. All right, never mind.

I'm taking a hard left from there. Hold on. Okay. It's just, let's keep workshopping. Okay. No bad ideas except for that one bad idea. Hey, you came up with the bad idea first. Now, could you read something from the Torah?

Oh. I could certainly try. I need the pointer thing. Yeah, there's a little stick involved. And it's like a little finger on the end. Is that what it is? I don't know. I don't know if that was just in Hey Arnold or if that's a real thing.

Oh, okay. The Torah? Yeah, no, it's real. It's true. They didn't just make that up. They didn't make that up for Hey Arnold. Made up a whole religion. He's not part of...

It's weird that they also carry it on in Rugrats, too. It's the same universe. Oh, a lot of people don't remember. You gotta remember those Nickelodeon shows. Shalom, football head. All right. Oh, my God. Gracie, do you know what Hey Arnold is? I do

Okay cool alright good Oh that was close She sounded a little insulted I'm just making sure Did anyone else see the cartoon during the Harriet the Spy movie? No I remember Harriet the Spy movie I remember Harriet the Spy That was the first time they aired

it before it was a show it was a little cartoon at the beginning of the was it before the movie yeah i played well it was like the intro and then they were like anyway i don't feel like i yeah it was the first episode was it like was it like how pilots never look like the final like look of the show it's all kind of like wonky i mean i think, but they did use that as the pilot. It was the same episode as the pilot when he goes crazy at the end. From episode two on, he looks normal. It's a little rough. Anyway.

Rosie O'Donnell was in that. What was the guy's name in the glasses? The kid in the show. In the hair and all show. The one who breathes? Yeah, the one who breathes. Is that Eugene? No, Eugene was the redhead guy who was like he wore sandals was it was it bifka was it bifka i don't know oh it's bifco ah where the biffs go and that's how we stumble through Jordan's haiku. And that's a haiku.

I don't understand. Just do the haiku. He didn't make one. Why are you so pushy today? It just seems like the haiku is a good segment. What if he does the haiku if you let us do the sweetie meal? Yeah. So you're saying if there's a sweetie meal, then you'll do a haiku?

If there's a sweetie meal episode, I will do it for sweetie. I think by the time we do our next episode, sweetie meal will be accept these lies from I know He's just saying yes to get what he wants now. He's a little child. I want it my way go to Burger King Weird I feel like we just settle that and that's how we do Jordan's haiku. On to the Little Caesars fact. I'm sure there's a haiku in there somewhere. You got it. Just make your own haiku out of that. Decide which words to use.

Tweet at Jordan and let him know what your haiku would be. Okay, here we go. As I said earlier, it was two months ago. Our previous Little Caesars episode was released June 8th, 2021, where we ate the pepperoni cheeser cheeser pizza. It received an average score of 78.1. Pretty good score.

Yeah. That is a pretty good score. Do you remember anything about it? Whatever you're going to say, the answer is no. I think it was a cheese pizza. It was a lot of cheese. Do you remember? I think it fell on the ground at one point.

It was just a lot of cheese. Sounds right. We were still probably rolling around outside in the mud. Yes, we were. And he was screaming about something getting on his car. Something definitely got on my car, yeah. As it always did. Simpler times.

More annoying times. First introduced in the United States in 2018, Breakthrough Pizza Portal Technology was the industry's first heated self-service mobile order pickup portal, and today we used it. And then in parentheses, God, I hope we used it.

Man, you want to look like an idiot. Which we did. We did. We did, but Eric got so excited, he ran in and opened it before we took a picture. We didn't film it. What were we going to do?

Are we going to Fucking film a video? You using it! It opened! What are we gonna do? It was so cool! What, that's what we did in the making? Ten years in the making? It was fine!

There was no- Ten years in the making? There's not a big deal. You just went over and hit the button? He fucking like, had the code memorized. He didn't even like look at his phone. He was like, He was on the phone and looked at the phone right before I walked in it!

And it was right there! He ran in screaming, Nobody look, nobody look, nobody look! And then he opened it! It- I got a glimpse of it. It like slowly opened, like steam came out, and it went like. It went.

Yeah. Pizza portal activated. It also wasn't all the stuff that we ordered. This is the voice of Mike Phillips. No, then you turned and said, we'll take the rest. Yeah, there should be way more than this. Right, the pizza was in there. No.

It is the pizza portal, not the rest portal. Yeah, Mountain Dew. Right, and then a man got screamed portal. Not the rest. Yeah. Yeah. Mountain Dew. Right. And then a man got screamed at for five minutes. Everything changed. So, so yeah, let's talk about the guy.

Whenever we ordered, right? Like I guess we asked for sauce or there was no, no, I ordered sauce. Okay. So you ordered sauce. Yes.

There's, there was sauces that came with the pizzas and then additional sauces that we were supposed to get. It was in the picture, Michael. It's true. On the menu. Oh, I learned. That was a woman who sticks by what they're selling. Yes, absolutely.

She needs to go reorganize Subway and how they work. When someone comes in and says, I want this deal. She knows exactly what's in that deal, not what do you want. I want that. Right. Okay, so you had ordered extra sauce. So there was like one big marinara sauce or whatever it is for the order. And then she basically berated this man, screaming

at him to get the sauce. And he basically had no words. He was just like, and he just kept like pointing at the sauce. What kind of sauce is that? And she was just like, and he just kept pointing at the sauce. What kind of sauce is that? And she was just like, they got another one! She was like pointing at the menu on the wall.

The marinara sauce! Oh! Get sauce, buddy! And the whole time Nick's going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The sauce, the sauce, the sauce. Murder this man, the sauce. She's like, do you want? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, say yes, say yes. It doesn't matter what she's offering. Take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The sauce, the sauce, the sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Murder this man. The sauce. She's like, do you want? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, say yes, say yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter what she's offering. Take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We want it. He's just like nodding. He's like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get it, boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that guy said a single word. Nothing. He was just like. He tried to. He made noises. The sauce! I'm there! tried to, he made noises. The thorn!

The man! So he disappeared and got that while she grabbed breadsticks and like there was so much. Get the brownies! The brownies! Two! Screaming at this guy. They were like the only two people in there, right?

Yeah, and we were the only other four people in the whole fucking place. Oh, man. That was a great... And you know what? We got everything. It's true. It's true. We got everything.

She made sure. I have more to talk about, but I think we should get through the facts first. Let's do it. Let's do it. A lot happened. The grand total of our meal that fed five people today. Why five? Experts still don't know to this day.

Was $34. And yeah, maybe it tasted like it, but Little Caesars is forever the king of affordable meals for families. Pizza pizza? Family family. Little Caesars, the official pizza of Fast and the Furious. Pizza pizza, family family. Little Caesars, the official pizza, Fast and the Furious. I'm just saying, if you have a family... Should've got Corona. Oh, damn.

Imagine drinking a lukewarm Corona right now. I don't have to wash this cheese. Cheese and grease? Cheese goop down. I still have cheese goop stuck in my throat trying to work down. We were saying it earlier. Little Caesars is like, it's so affordable. It's like insanely affordable to buy just full meals from that place.

And it's totally like respectable. It doesn't taste like cardboard. Pizza is easy to taste like cardboard. It's good enough and it's cheap. Yeah, because look look everyone in your family Might eat different amounts some people might Dive right into a crazy calzoni And get sauce all over their paws

Some people might be dipping sauces In everything and making sure they get extra stuff And then some people might finish Half a slice of a crazy calzoni and go Okay I get it I'm working on it. You're like, how is it?

And I was like, no. A lot of faces, not a lot of words. So you can feed your whole family just like that. Incredible. On August 22nd, 2021. That was like two days ago. Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera hit his 500th home run, becoming only the 28th player in MLB history to achieve this.

It is rumored that Mike Illich's last words were, quote, Miguel Cabrera, end quote, Walt Disney style. Or they might have been, quote, I don't want to die. We're not sure. He died alone. He died alone and nobody knew until 2019. We broke the news.

It was like he died all over again. Sad stuff. But Miguel Cabrera, people kept saying, no, I just saw him last week. Didn't I? I just saw him last week. Didn't I? I saw a picture of him. Oh, no. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Oh, no. He went to the beach. Mommy, mommy. Mommy, I'm big, mommy. Mommy. Make a pizza. The more you describe that movie, the more everyone in the car just kept on fuck Mommy my bathing suit small Can I just ask real quick? Why were Walt Disney's last words Miguel Cabrera? No his last words were Kurt Russell

Do you know about that? Walt Disney's last words were Kurt Russell you that would have been cool if they were Miguel Cabrera though these last words were Kurt Russell. He knew. That would have been cool if they were Miguel Cabrera, though. That would have been awesome. That would have been like foreshadowing. That would have been so sick.

What if he said like, Rert Cussle, and someone would go. Rert. And someone would go. And someone would go. Oh, he fucked that up. I just remembered,

Kurt Russell was the name of his sled when he was a kid. Oh. He actually used Kurt Russell as a sled. Kurt Russell was a kid. It's true. Fond memories. And the final fact

of the first ever three-peat. From pretzel crust to french fry crust, Little Caesars has had its share of wacky limited run items, but none are closer to our hearts than the spaghetti bucket. You fucks bring it back already.

We want our spaghetti in a bucket, and we want it now. Bring back the bucket. Give me the bucket. I want a pail full of spaghetti, and I want to dump it out on my son's plate and go, eat up, asshole. Also, you know what? I want to take it to the beach and make a spaghetti castle. Guys, we've been talking about spaghetti for 10 years, not until today have I wanted to go

SPAGHETTI! GET THE- I'M AT THE SPAGHETTI BUCKET! GO GET THE BUCKETS! Oh man, that would be- I can see it now. I can share that man's stare as he goes back to the- I didn't know we had buckets of spaghetti in the bathtub Why

Wait is that so let's let's figure that out real quick If the spaghetti bucket comes back and Gracie is here and there's five of us, do we get five buckets of spaghetti? I'm going to share my bucket with you fucks. You fuckets? Yeah, they should call it a fuck bucket. I don't think Little Caesars is going to call their spaghetti bucket the fuck bucket. They could. They should do that.

I don't think they're going to. Five fuck buckets. I don't think they're gonna. Five-foot bucket! It's because you already know the bucket is going to be smaller than you think. No way! It's going to be so big. It's going to be a personal size bucket. You can't be using the word bucket and have it be small. No, because think about how much spaghetti you would eat in they trick you, Michael. Think about how much spaghetti you would eat in one sitting.

That's less than a bucket's worth. If you buy a bucket of spaghetti. Did Nick turn into a Muppet? That's right. Spaghetti bucket. You have to think about how much. He's like Kermit in Swedish. More Parmesan, please.

You have to think about how much spaghetti would be contained inside of a bucket. Think about a bucket and then spaghetti. I want a Home Depot orange. I want them to put a piece of tape over the logo. And then just fill it with spaghetti. They're like, it's orange. We're orange. It works.

We're going to have to get five buckets of spaghetti? Yeah. That's so much spaghetti. Look, in the long run, though, it's going to be cost effective. Think about all the things you can use that bucket for afterward, too. You know how you go to Rudy's and you keep those cups? Yeah, you bring the bucket back. You fill it up.

Use it on house. Spaghetti, please. Use it on house. Spaghetti, please. Use it on house chores. Don't worry. I brought my own bucket. Fill her up. What is this? That's my spackle butt.

That's my spaghetti. You ruined it. Or did we create something new and delicious? Introducing spaghetti. Spaghetti. Spaghetti's so thick. My throat's closing. This spaghetti tastes like a house.

Do you think that 7-Eleven would honor the spaghetti bucket as a drink if you came in and filled up a big gulp style thing? I don't think they would. If you can put a lid on it. And then put a little straw. Because that's the thing. They have a thing at 7-Eleven.

I think it's on 7-Eleven. You come in and you fill up, you know, you bring your own cup if you want and fill up a Slurpee. And so I want a whole spaghetti bucket full of Slurpee as long as I can put a straw in it. And then it's a Slurpee bucket? Yeah. A Slucket.

I think Slurk it is that's better probably more appropriate and those are the facts we learned a lot about little caesars you wouldn't think that we'd learn so much the third time i learned a lot about Walt Disney. Rort Custle. And now, Spittin' Silly. Oh, good. So, to Spittin' Silly, boy, that location was a treat. That's, man,

when you said it's like out of 1997, it was like we made a right turn and went back in time. Because... That little strip of storefronts is like untouched by the passage of time yeah really it's 2021 here it's 1997 there uh i think michael described it as a place where you would see someone on a payphone yeah it was the best description it was just so bizarre looking um and also just just to like squeeze it in there there's a sign pole to see what stores are in there.

It looks like the sign and the pole was designed for AutoZone, which is the biggest store there. Then underneath it, there's another sign for Rick's Cleaners. And then smushed in between those two is just the Little Caesars guy. Yeah. It's like the circle logo. There's not even any words. Nope. It's just a man in a toga eating pizza.

And I went, man, they're just kind of here. They really are. It's hard to know where the Little Caesars is. You just kind of got to walk and then hope one of these doors leads to a pizza place it's right next it's across like the parking lot from like a Goodwill and it's a big Goodwill there are a lot of

people in that Goodwill and then they would leave the Goodwill and jump in front of your car oh yeah they're hoping for is they get hit and then you go oh my god and they say alright look I won't I won't tell your insurance if you buy me a little Caesar. And that's how they eat for the day. Everybody wins.

And you'll do it because you go, well, this is quite affordable. Yeah, this is nothing. It all feeds your whole family. Hot and ready. And they go, no problem. Yeah. Here's $15. Eat for a week.

Whoa. Ask them about the buckets. Buckets! That whole parking lot is just so old. It has like that dry cleaner. There's like a screen print shop where you can get like shirts made. There was a guy selling stuff out of the back of his truck.

There was a guy selling stuff out of the back of his truck. It was... And then people just going, yeah, the whole time you're driving through, you're mystified by what these storefronts are but don't you dare take your eyes off the road if you don't look directly in front of you you will hit someone because they will walk out of a building and don't direct like right in front of your car they kept saying it was fucking crazy it was crazy how

close it was every time to getting hit somebody getting car. I just feel like also it's like a curse with Face Jam because now every time we drive with you guys, things just start happening. It's true. The moment we got in the car to leave the parking lot here. Because we yell action. Some guy's just driving along

and decides to stop in the middle of the parking lot. That was, okay, that was the very beginning. We're in a of the parking lot. That was, okay, that was the very beginning. We're in a giant empty parking lot. I mean, spots everywhere you looked. This guy's just in the road, almost directly in front of where we're going, stopped. On his phone, mystified by everything around him.

It was shocking to see the oldest man going, how did I get out of 1997? He's from the Little Caesars. Somebody get me back to Little Caesars. Me and Mike Gillich got a meeting. It was, man, I don't know what it is. And it was such a short drive. It was very short.

For this show, it was such a short drive compared to when we go up to like Red Robin and stuff. And this was like just as fucking enthralling. It's like, are we going to get in an accident? Are we just going to run someone over? That'll be the day. Michael thought we were leaving Nick in the parking lot. Oh, yeah. The parking spots are so small.

That Nick couldn't get out. If he didn't have the food, I think we would have left. Yeah. I went. I was like, there's some men trying to get in.

He's kidding, Nick. Oh, man. Eric's the one that left you behind. Remember? Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah, but then I'm the one

who also invited him. Well, after we told you that. Well, let's be honest I don't know that it was you I think it was the entire broadcast post room that went why didn't you invite Nick and I went and that's how it that's how it went right they told you after

me though oh right yeah right I forgot you're the hero well I was at the restaurant staring at the space next to you where I was so I was honestly so comfortable as Eric's just going I'm on one side and there's only one of me and the two of you are on another side and Michael's just sitting there with his

eyes closed going I need to ruin this for him yeah and I kept going not today not ever again one and done Jordan when we do I leaned over and I said when we do the three don't do the haiku. We're going to bury this fucker. Oh, man.

Did we spit silly? Why not? We spit. I don't know how silly it was. All right. On to the press. Let's read some announcements. Then press material.

The Little Caesars Crazy Calzone. That's such a bad name. Crazy Calzone features a pepperoni pizza with a parmesan. I like the alliteration. And buttery tasting calzone like crust filled with garlic white sauce. What? What the fuck? Hey, just like a calzone. That was the cheese goo.

Cheese goo and julienne pepperoni served with crazy sauce. Registered trademark for dipping. The garlic white sauce was the cheese goo. I said that it had the consistency of Alfredo sauce. Yeah. And I guess it was just Alfredo sauce. What the fuck? Eric looks dumbfounded.

I can't believe that it was garlic white sauce. But you printed this. But every calzone has that. Yeah. You made this, though. Yeah, 4.30 in the morning. I'm just saying, you still, you're like, I can't believe this information. I don't remember this part.

That I gave to you. He didn't say what morning it was either Could have been six weeks ago No, it was this morning I don't Try to give him an out Garlic white sauce thing is like fucking me up There was just that much

It's fucking me up too right now I'm not talking about the words There's that much Garlic white sauce in it Gracie, is that why you didn't like it? right now. I'm not talking about the words. There's that much garlic white sauce in it? Gracie, is that why you didn't like it? I like garlic and I like white sauce. I don't know why I didn't like it. Must have been everything else.

Oh no. That was the only part she liked. Everything else was bad. I like garlic and white sauce. Fuck this pizza. Alright, let's see how they explain this monstrosity in their press material.

Quote, our pizza visionaries, off to a good start, have been working on this innovation for months. There's the word. Ding, ding, ding. Said Jeff Klein, chief marketing officer at Little Caesars. I'm eager for customers to finally get the chance to taste the cheesy goodness of one of our

most exciting products yet. Wow! That was a good product. Thanks, Jeff. I love eating products. I love content about products. It's my favorite. This is good content about products. Apparently, that's all we do. What I love is

in this room, it's like a pillow is on the wall. It's warm in this room. It's warm and soft. What I love is in this room, it's like a pillow is on the wall. You are. It's warm in this room. It's warm and soft, dude. We got to figure that out. And then because I'm full of cheese. That's always a problem in this room. Baby, I'm sleepy.

It's rad. I'm fading. Is there a way we can do a laying down podcast? Ooh, maybe a nap time podcast? Get to the sweetie meal. No. Okay. Well. You have it? No, I don't have it. I'll make room. ooh maybe a halftime podcast until we get to the Saweetie meal no okay well you have it?

no I don't have it I'll make room oh I've always got Saweetie room and that's it yeah that's all it said getting the food

I like how we always talk about it way before this point yeah well this is well it's kind of a just in case it's like if you haven't

talked about it yet or if you have anything else to say. Yep, last chance for romance. Get it in there. What do you got? Were you talking to me directly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I liked the poster of the brownie.

It had the sassy red M&M on it. Yeah. And it said, cookie dough, read it. I'll tell you what it said, because I too took a picture of it. I only like the green M&M. It said cookie dough brownie topped with M&M's

and then under it it said what were you expecting? Pepperoni? That's pretty funny, right? Why would I expect to eat pepperoni? Because it's a pizza place. It's like the red M&M's saying it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

I don't like the way you say it. It's Billy West. Yeah. Billy West is going. Pepperoni. I like it. He's got a lot of. What did you expect?

A spaghetti bucket? Yeah. It's me, Fry. No, no. He's Doug. Doug? The red M&M is more Doug-like. Oh.

It looks like somebody drew his eyebrows on later. Look how sassy Jordan looks next to it I was doing my red M&M impression I like the JK Simmons M&M I went to take a picture And then Jordan said I already took a picture of it And then I said get in there I took a picture of him

And then the woman that was in there. I took a picture of him. And then the woman that was screaming at the man jeered. She loved it. And then we walked out and I said, we're grammars. We're about to put Little Caesars on the map. I also have a picture of Eric standing in front of the pizza portal. And he's kind of showing off. It's already open. As far as the audience knows, it didn't work. No, no, it worked.

You can see because it's open. It was stuck open. I took two pictures of him and then I said, now do one where you don't look like an idiot or something like that. And then he sighed. That's the one we're going to use. That's some bullshit. We obviously know, the audience

knows that we were able to use the pizza portal because when we tried to use the pizza portal before the guy wouldn't put it in the pizza portal and then would not

let us open it so if it's open that means we use the pizza portal how'd you get around that this time well that woman

runs a tight ship she is pro pizza portal so I think that worked out now to be fair that usually when I order it's pretty close to when we're gonna go pick it up right i made sure to order earlier and then it

was ready even earlier than that it was fucking crazy they were like on the ball today it's like when you tell your friend who's always late oh it's at 11 yeah it's at 11 20 when really it's at 11 30 so he gets there at 11 30 think it. I don't think 10 minutes is enough. Right? My friend is the red M&M. If you cared about 10 minutes, I would just be like, you're 10 minutes late.

You know? It's the people that are like an hour late that you gotta worry about. You gotta put them in the pizza bucket and bury them in the sand. It's a pizza bucket now? How come they don't have pizza in a bucket? That's a nice one now how come they don't beat Dude you ever like gonna make a spaghetti. Oh, no, what do I here's another reason we need this spaghetti pizza bucket

Oh, no, I've killed this man what I do with the body I need five spaghetti bucket, huh? And then you dump them all out. And then you bury them. Yep. You cut them up piece by piece and you put them in the bucket. And then put the spaghetti on top. Yep. That's why you need the extra big bucket. It's one of those things that didn't age well in The Sopranos because they go and pick up a little Caesar spaghetti bucket

to bury a guy in. See? It's like, oh, man, this is a different time. That's one of those things I lean over and I go, couldn't do that now. Yeah. I guess I'm just stuck with this glug.

Anyway, bring back the spaghetti bucket already. You fucks. All right, let's get into the food. What'd you think? Greasy. True. Mm-hmm.

Very small. All of the pictures are... It was small. Look, one, it's like... It makes it look like a cross where it's, like, rounded straight on the edges. Ours were pointed. Like, they came to a point,

and it kind of looked more like a star than a cross. Ours looked sharper. Yeah. I was afraid I was going to get poked. I think it looked like a cross. I think you were just looking at it sideways. You just have to look at it... The Lord's way? cross. I think you were just looking at it sideways. You just have to look at it. The Lord's way?

I think you're the devil. What? I think you're the devil. Me? Or him. You. What I do? You might be the antichrist for all we know.

No. Why won't you let us have Saweetie? Don't blame me. Blame the jammers. All right. I'm sorry. So really, it's just a regular ass pizza With this big butt

On the end Say something else about a sphincter Hey Why is there so much teeth? Michael I calls them like I sees them I'm just saying You used ass and butt Why is there so much teeth? Michael, I calls them like I sees them. I'm just saying you used ass and butt like four words apart.

Are you talking about ass man Jordan Sweers? Yeah. Jordan ass man. I hadn't thought about him in a minute. Yeah. That's true. For a thing that was going to be a thing, we kind of dropped the ball on that. I mean, the booty never forgets. It's true.

The booty never quits. 100% eat ass. And eat ass we did. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. There's somebody listening to this for the first time. Oh! There's some girlfriend who's being made

to listen to this for the first time. She's just going, what the No, baby. It's funny. What the fuck? It's not always it's not always like this. It's no they're usually it's funny. It's always like this. Yes, it is Yep, what was break up break up with this guy break break up with him right now, dude I'm telling you right now if your boyfriend listens to face to him Step on him That's a bug. Yeah him squish him squish this bug tell him

look at him dead in the eyes and say I'm the queen bug and then you step on him oh I eat you yeah and then he'll go he'll squirm on the ground it's gonna

he's uh yup the one time I wish there were a video element Eric recreating that oh so it's like a million Eric is creating that

So it's like a million you're giving it a million I gotta try this new food. It sounds really greasy and pointy. I should have been wearing my stab proof vest. It was so pointy. Well, he needs to buy four of them. We don't know. Buy us the vests before we get stabbed. That pizza could have gotten us.

That's true. Very sharp, like an Evangelion monster or whatever. Eric won't get us the Saweetie mealal, and he won't protect us from knives. That's true. And because of that, I have to give this a 45. Wow. A low blow. Tough.

Could have been higher if we just had that vest. The thing I found out about this morning? Yeah. Eric. You could have agreed this morning. Or you could have given us the Saweetie Me given us the I'm just saying you know maybe peel back the curtain a little bit I'm just saying I found a

bulletproof and stab proof vest recommended it to Eric and said get four of them and his reply was uh I said do you want them after we need them that's it. That's the pitch.

And that's the pitch. We've scrimped and saved on the man. He said it would be cheaper for us to all buy guns. That's absolutely true. That would protect me. I want to be protected. I want to be defensive, not offensive. Well, the best defense is a good offense.

I don't like that. Just ask the Tampa Bay Bucks. Whoa. And Miguel't like that. Just ask the Tampa Bay Bucks. Whoa. And Miguel Cabrera. Do you like my quick wit? Yeah, way to go, man. Hold on. Let me rifle through this thing real quick.

I think it was in quotes. Imagine if there were more than one page. Shuffle, shuffle. Alright, so what'd you give it? 40? 45? What do you think of the greasy, sharp food? It over-promised and under-delivered. Basically.

I don't know that anything does anything. It just sort of is. I'm sort of there, and it's sort of there and then it goes away forever inside me. Two passing ships vibing. It was small. It was a mess all around. To pull apart, to hold, to eat.

It disintegrates. There was cream. Did it taste good? It tasted fine, honestly. I feel like it lived up to the Little Caesar standard of what we said earlier Where it certainly wasn't bad It was affordable. I enjoyed it probably more than a 40. I didn't really like that garlic sauce Um, and there was a lot of it

Gracie likes garlic sauce and she did not like this pizza. So no way something to think about Not for you. Her rating doesn't matter. Oh, I was thinking. No. Michael's computer's gone. I'm going to give it a 68. Okay.

Okay. It's a 56.5. That is fair. I think it's better. I think it's better than i think i think 56 is underperforming i agree i think it's more of exactly what i think i agree i think i agree with michael i think i agree with michael i think that's where that's where it sits it sits somewhere in the 60s it was pretty good i think it i think it sits somewhere at a d plus low c i don't know

why it's not in that over a just a Little Caesars pizza. Yeah. But it wasn't bad. No. I think for, I think the thing about this particular pizza is that a lot of people

are going to go get it because it's kind of a meme right now. Yeah, it's just a wacky thing. Well, they're going to get it because we got it. Well, that's obvious. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The bugs will swarm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then their girlfriends will step on them and it'll be full of pizza. It'll be a whole thing. The herds and the flocks and bats. Yeah, think about it. But I think and then their girlfriends will step on him. We know pizza. It'll be a whole thing Yeah, think about it, but I think that you won't be eating it. Hmm Neil Armstrong. That's true fucking cheater Yeah, he's little Caesars will not serve liars. Yeah, also. He's dead well. That's oh

We to bring down the mood Sorry, I just Want to make sure all the information's out there. I think people eat it for the meme, and I think that they'll want to say bad things about it, but they'll eat it and end up going... They will? And I think... Because they'll want to dunk on it. They'll want to go, this fucking sucks! Do you think there's little Caesars

haters out there? I think there are going to be people who go to eat it, and then they end up going like, it's not bad. Damn. I think that's what's going to happen. So there you go. 56.5. There you go. Gracie, will you hand me that box? It could have benefited from being an actual pizza.

Hang on, hang on. First, before that. Oh, yeah. What is this? Well, you wouldn't do your job, so Gracie had to do it for you. This is the McDonald's Saweetie Meal Facts. What the fuck is this? The Gracie Saweetie Meal Facts. Now, unbeknownst to you, because you wouldn't let us have our way,

Jordan and I both ate the Saweetie Meal last night. We gave you every opportunity. I gave you time after time after time on this very episode to let us review the Saweetie Meal. What is this? We are taking matters into our own hands. And originally, we were going to tank this whole episode, but I really Jordan and I really wanted to eat this pizza.

So we said, we'll just do it at the end. So now, here we go. You should be thanking Mike Illich. The third act. Jordan and I now review the McDonald's Saweetie Meal. Well, I don't understand. What's not to get? What's not to get? As he said,

the people wanted the Caesars, and they wanted the McSweetie. Double-crossed. What the fuck? Undermined by your own intern. Double-crossed. Oh, shit. Wow.

Yes, yes, we had our own little secret plan. Lying in wait. So secretive, in fact, Jordan said, oh, yeah, I forgot. Is this why you've been saying forever, oh, we should get an intern, we should get an intern, so that way you could do something like this? Well, no. It kind of just worked out, to be honest. He refused to

adhere to the people's call. Yeah, do your fucking sweetie facts. Okay, here we go. McDonald's sweetie meal facts. Fact number one, are you excited yet, Eric? Yeah. McDonald's Saweetie Meal Facts. Fact number one. Are you excited yet, Eric? Yeah. McDonald's began its famous orders program in 2020 to share celebrity fast food orders with fans. Saweetie is the first female and, more specifically, African-American musician to have a celebrity menu collaboration with McDonald's.

A fact Eric himself could have gotten at 5 o'clock in the morning if he had bothered to spend the effort. Okay, uh-huh. Yep. Yeah, now I'm learning. Can you imagine if Gracie did this during his lackluster facts? My facts were good! We had a good Miguel Cabrera fact. We had Pizza Portal.

This is a good fact. The Sweetie Meal includes a Big Mac, four-piece chicken McNuggets, medium fries, a medium Sprite. It also comes with tangy barbecue sauce and the sweet and sour sauce going by the name of Sweetie and Sour Sauce during the collaboration. And I'll give you another little tidbit as I ate it last night. They – I forget what they said. They said on the board, but they like rebranded the Sweet and Sour. It's got like a metallic sheen it had a real stupid word for it i don't remember what it was but on the it was like we even blinged it up or something like that now it's icy probably that's what it was we iced it that's it was

something iced related i ordered i ordered mine delivery so i didn't i didn't see it at the store i mean if jordan guessed at it and got it right how cool could it really be very cool oh very cool the franchise designed a revamped label for the Saweetie and sour sauce I just said that which is a metallic finished picture of a diamond behind the ingredients and a funky font we forgot the funky font whose wording wording is funky font? Did you write funky font? That's awesome. Hang on. We're easing into it, okay? For the duration of the collaboration,

McDonald's employees are being asked to wrap the opening line of Saweetie and Doja Cat's hit song, Best Friend, before taking your order. A move that will no doubt force McDonald's to raise their hourly pay even more. Saweetie is known for remixing meals to her liking, which inspired the collaboration with McDonald's.

She has a large social media following, partially from her viral food recommendations, which led McDonald's to notice her and want to collab. When will they be noticing and asking for the face jam meal? Gracie is better at this than I am. This sucks. That is a good question. Also, even the paper that I was handed is better.

It's literally a better piece of paper. It's a more expensive piece of paper. The font is like nicer to read. I can read it. It really is better to hold in my hand. I hope you're taking notes, Eric. I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing.

I saw that she did, Sweetie did a like, she put ranch in spaghetti. What the fuck? Did she put it in a bucket? No bucket. That would have been the, like, that would have really sealed the deal. But I can't

imagine that tasting good. Like, she does a lot of weird crap, apparently. Oh, and we'll get to this weird crap. The advertisement for the meal encourages customers to try all kinds of crazy combinations, like swapping out the burger bun for fries or hamburger patties, using sauce as the topping drizzled over your nuggets, like swapping out the burger bun for fries or hamburger patties using sauce

as the topping drizzled over your nuggets and swapping out the patty for McNuggets just like Saweetie does. Saweetie does. The dude at the ordering window will definitely be loving it.

McDonald's is even serving the Saweetie meal in a branded bag with a branded fry box while supplies last. Have you bought your face jam box yet? Jesus. And the final.

I didn't get a branded box. I guess supplies ran out. I think I got a branded box. You must have gone to a different one. Definitely. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I mean, for sure.

And the final fact. When you download the McDonald's app and order the Saweetie meal, you are entered into a sweepstakes with the chance to win a five-day trip with your best friend to Las Vegas to watch Saweetie perform. But this isn't the only thing you have a chance at winning. The winner will also receive two limited edition handbags from American fashion designer Brandon Blackwood. One for you and your best friend. Incredible. We're gonna get those bags, baby. Yeah! I can't wait. So

who am I going to Vegas with? You're not going with anybody because you wouldn't let us do this. Wait. So I'm Eric. Alright. Take me to Vegas. And those are the McDonald's Sweetie Meal facts. And I'll say that was all, not even just McDonald's facts are the McDonald's Sweetie Meal facts. And I'll say, that was all not even just McDonald's facts. That was just Sweetie Meal facts.

I learned so much. That was a sweet fact sheet. It really is a better piece of paper. You know what? Absolutely. I could tell just holding it. No, it's like you can really hold them and just go like one of these. You have inferior wood.

Whatever tree you're using, kill it. Stop using a bush Oh my god And now it's time for the Saweetie haiku What the fuck? Oh well he What? He can only do one haiku

This is I told you I would do one for Saweetie Why do you think I backed him when he didn't do it? You didn't find that suspect? I absolutely did I'm just saying Cause I knew

You didn't seem to press it I knew he put saying, cause I knew he put the work in! I knew he put the work in where it mattered. Jordan, go ahead. On the good part. Nugs between the buns. Your besties in a tessie. Icy Queen Hero. Excellent!

And he even mentioned ass! Oh my god. Is Icy Queen hero Gracie? She came in and just froze me out? It's open to interpretation. The line about your bestie in a Tessie is from one of her songs, and I figured it applied to us. Did you Google that?

I wouldn't have even known that because it does apply to us. I don't think she froze you so much as you froze yourself and she just kind of pushed your frozen body out of the way. But then like you were standing in front of the freeze ray and we were telling you you should move and you were like, no, I don't think so. And then you shattered like

Boris from GoldenEye. Well, I am invincible. That's what he thought. He's like, I control the fact sheet and then shattered. He's like, I control the fat cheese. And then it shatters. He's clicking the pen. Yeah. It blows up. Hey, click this.

Uh, so what kind of remixes did you do with your order? Okay, so- What the fuck? So, here's the thing- How is this still going? Here's the thing. Let's- let's fire into this. Um, when you order the Saweetie meal,

I was expecting some sort of Saweetie creations, right? Some sort of, like, I knew what the meal was, right? It was a burger and fries and nuggets. The components of it. But, like, what is it going to be? Well, let me tell you. They handed me a burger and nuggets and fries, and that was it. And they were like, do it yourself.

And if I had not had my step-by-step tutorial flyer that I had gotten a month ago, I wouldn't have even known how to eat it like Saweetie. Thankfully, I put it on my refrigerator and saved it. So I came home with the Saweetie meal, ran over to the instructions, and then I was like, which one do I want? So what I did was I took the top and bottom bun of the Big Mac. And then I left the middle bun because I was going to use the sweet and sour sauce in the special Sweetie branded packet.

They didn't give it to me. They gave me spicy mustard, which is not part of the Sweetie meal. I got Cajun instead of barbecue. I'll also have you know, I ordered the Sweetie meal, which is as we described, and they said, great.

What kind of sauce do you want? And I scoffed. What is this, Subway? And I said, well, the sweet and sour. And then looked and saw on the board right in front of me where the person I was speaking to worked said, and tangy barbecue. And I said, oh, and the barbecue. I want what it comes with. Got it.

What do you want to drink? I want a Sprite. I want what it comes with. Got it. What do you want to drink? I want a Sprite! I want what Saweetie wants! So, flashbacks. I had to explain it to them. Don't you know who this is? Pointing to a picture of Saweetie. And they're going, no. So, I took the top and

bottom bun off, and then I picked up the top burger, threw some french fries in there, and ate it. And it was like eating a Big Mac with french fries but no buns to protect your hands from the sauce everywhere and the mess then wait hang on I saved I saved those buns put the nuggets inside of them and just like sweetie she uses ketchup didn't give me ketchup either I took the tangy barbecue sauce and I put it all over the top of the bun and then ate it as sauce got everywhere. It sounds like hell.

All over my hands. This sounds awful. This sounds like shit. Well, no, but look. What the fuck? I don't want to look at your gross hands. Michael. Look how good that looks.

Michael got messy. Look how good that looks. I took pictures. Look, you thought it was a Big Mac, but it's chicken nuggets inside with the sauce on top. I'm a sweetie. I did the same thing. Yeah, you're a sweetie. That looks like shit.

The buns. The buns with the nuggets, surprisingly good. It was pretty tasty. Wow. Sauce on the inside or outside? I put it on top. I used the sweet and sour.

You're a sweetie too? I used the sweet and sour sauce on top. I would have used it if I had it. But it's really hard. They do such a good job of drizzling it, like zig and zagging. I did the same thing and it wasn't a good job. I did my best. I can only zig.

I just did zigs. I did one zig and then it all poured out. And then I was eating it going, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I'm messy, I'm messy, I'm messy, I'm messy. Here, this is what I did. Oh! He had fun with it. And then there was another one.

Here's a picture that Jordan sent of him eating it last night. This is ridiculous. I did patties. What the fuck? That was like shit. This is one of the ones she did. I would say this is not her best work. Eric is like, you should be honored right now.

You're like the fake alien invasion in Watchmen. And we had to band together to defeat you. It was the only way to get this group to put our differences aside. When we were handing out the papers, you were like, I'm going to stop you. Do you think we would tell you our plan if there was any way you could stop us? We did it last night. It's already been done. And then I think this summarizes it perfectly.

I said, this will teach him for some reason. And Jordan said, we we forget but we never forgive because I didn't remember why we were doing it but Gracie already wrote the fact sheet so we had to do it Nick said just sitting there mad as hell

for some reason and you know what? You didn't disappoint. I did not disappoint. You were mad. You stewed. You know what? Since it's Topsy Turvy, I'm going to rate it 10.

It was awful. It was absolutely terrible. Why would you eat food like this? Why did you put sauce on top? It doesn't make any sense. It was so stupid. I was so angry. Also, you know what's even better?

As we were discussing it last night, because Nick said, here's the fact sheets, and Jordan went, oh my God, I forgot about this. I had already eaten McDonald's. That day? Like 10 minutes before that. So I had to go back and eat it again. Guess what I had? I had a Big Mac.

And I went, oh no. So I pushed it off as long as possible and I went at like 1130. And I ate it angry and messy. Was it us who were talking about like how we've never, someone had never had a Big Mac and I feel like I was trying to remember if I had ever had one. You've never had one? But like, I don't think I had either and I feel like I still haven't because I didn't eat it right. You haven't.

No, no. According to the pictures you just showed us, you have still not had a Big Mac. Also, he took that picture, and I just replied, he loves it. Oh, that was fun. All right, Jordan, what do you rate it? I'm going to give it a 29. I think the spirit of it I appreciate. Uh, I think the, the, the spirit of it. I appreciate,

you know, just have fun with it. Uh, screw your friends over like him. Yeah. It's all. I had a great time. So good job.

What did the sweetie meal get? 19.5. So if people ask Gracie, how was your internship? I give Gracie 100 How was your internship it was good the guy who hired me I made sure I stabbed him in the back Well if only you had that vest God damn it! Yeah! We did it! Yeah, we did it! Bulls win!

Bulls win! This sucks. It's a level three, just so you know. Whoa. That'll protect you from stabbings from every direction. Every angle. Just don't aim for my head. If Caesar was wearing that, it'd be like, at two brutes a day, he'd still be alive.

He'd still be giving us pizza. Yep. Well, do we even do the snack attack? Absolutely we do. We're only an hour and seven minutes in. This helps stick it to you by how long it is. That's what you get. That was part of the fun. This sucks.

I disagree. Eric's gonna go home and be in a bad mood. And his dog's going to be like, what's wrong, Papa? Probably business as usual. Work sucked. I don't want to read all that. Oh my God.

You don't have to read all of it. I can't even pick out what I want to read. I'm so hot and tired. You want me to read it and we'll just pick out what I want to read. I'm so hot and tired. You want me to read it and we'll just edit out what we don't read? Yeah, you read it. Okay, it says, It says, Snack boys, my mom and I are sending in more spicy snacks.

We live in Pennsylvania, so we have a lot of snack brands that don't get distributed elsewhere. We have included some spicy Wise chips and cheese doodles. I have those in here too, yeah. We have also included facts. They crossed out snacks. Snack facts. Here are the facts. Wise potato chips are 100 this year. Happy birthday!

These are probably expired. That's a full life. Wow, old bag. Wise chips are the official chips of the New York Mets. Boo. Go Phillies. Oh. Hey, Mr. Met. Hey, you Mr. Met guy.

Right? He's a baseball. He's a big old baseball. Philly fanatic would fuck him up. Wise chips are only distributed in 15 states on the East Coast. Page two. We haven't eaten the snacks we sent. I am 100% a spice mouse.

Hopefully you enjoy them, and good luck surviving the spice, Jordan. Oh, you got a call out. Marissa and Jen. Thanks. MTZ 93 on the site. So these are Wise potato chips, Southern Peach Habanero. Whoa. Can you get these in Georgia?

Probably not. Weird. Why not? East Coast only. Georgia's not on the East Coast. It's next to Russia. Mm-hmm. Oh.

Think about it. You didn't know which one I was talking about. I still don't know which one I'm talking about. Are we next to Russia? We used to be. Am I Russia? Alaska is, I guess. Does that make us next to us?

Does that make us next to us? I'm always next to me. This tastes like barbecue chips. Yeah, there's no peach at all. It's a little spicy. There's a sweetness. They're sweet. They're tangy barbecue chips is what they are.

They're good. They're tangy barbecue chips is what they are. They're good. Mm-hmm. They're very salty. They're very salty. Like, the salt is attacking me. Yeah. I'll give it a 61. Okay.

There's a little bit of zing. Not much. Tiny little mouth's worth. Mm-hmm. More than those fake tacos you painted, though. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. What do you think? Oh, I don't get to rate it. I didn't ask what your rating was. That's what you think. That's what you thought. I think that they taste like a tingy barbecue. They're a little sweeter, but that's it. I agree. 68.

That's a 64.5. Don't get upset. These are the cheese doodles. Don't get upset. These are the cheese doodles. Don't get upset. These are hot and honey. Hot and honey. Do you think they'll be either of those things? Probably not.

I'm going to guess no. These are just knockoff Cheeto puffs. Yes, they are. Maybe it doesn't mean honey as flavor. Maybe it means like, honey, we're hot. Honey, we're cheese doodles. Right. Very airy. Nick's thrown his hands in the air. These are like, oh, we have enough

material to make half of a bag, but if we use half the product and more air, we can fill up the bag. I feel like if I close my eyes, I can taste the honey like a tiny little bit. And there is a bit of heat. There's more heat than the chips Um I disagree with that really yeah

Hmm I feel like the the habanero chips kicked a little bit more like this well you're wrong I felt like this was a kicker and that was a stinker. I think it's a corker When we do the intro after we finish this part, then he's going to mention it. Yeah, yeah. I like that. That's what I'm talking about. Like that, boy.

72. All right. I like it less. 55. Punch me right in the heart. 63.5. Those were fine snacks. They were...

Fine snacks. Fine snacks indeed. Mm-hmm. So, if you want to send us snacks, you can. Send them to Face Jam, Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas,

78723. But wait! The third food we're reviewing... This sucks. No! Nick, hand me your facts that you've written for the spaghetti bucket

that Nick made himself. Hand out the spaghetti. Just hand pulls out of his backpack. There you go. Don't forget, store.roosterteeth.com is the place for all your Face Jam needs. You can go pick up

the Face Jam retro stuff, the Sauce Monkey shirt. We have the Monkey Meal Box, which I think is called the Face Jam Meal Box. The Space Jam shirt. No the uh the monkey meal box which i think is called the face jam meal space jam shirt that no marvin the martian no that you said that your mom got you that yeah from our store i think a year and a half ago yeah did you not i don't think so did that come from our store i thought we made space jam i mean we should uh well no no no no we made face jam oh that's this show isn't that what this says?

No. You can also get the compliments, Crackle Hat. Most troubling. Yeah, I was wondering if he was going to do a Marvin the Martian. That was fun. Get the donkey muscle shirt, all kinds of stuff as we get ready for our trip to Colorado. Very, very soon. We'll have more information on that soon.

But I ain't going unless I have a vest. Well, Jordan had a good idea that we line the inside of the van with them. We should buy a bunch of them. Very expensive. Hey, you know what? Honestly, I'm on board because Drew's gonna be real bummed out when he has to pay for this.

Yeah. Exactly. That'll be fine. So there you go We did it another episode of face jam which only had one review in the short one All right, let me read the end yeah when you download the McDonald's that oh wait wrong one, okay All right. Yeah, yeah fine too many too many paper. Sorry Naturally gravitated towards the better. Too many papers. Sorry. You naturally gravitated towards the better feeling. It leaps into your hand.

I swear, I put this down. How'd it get back here? Look at the difference. One episode's worth of moving. All these crinkles. Oh, crinkle, crankle. Crankle Christmas. Don't even want to read it. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend, or an enemy,

about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Stab your friends in the back, unless they have a vest. Then they're protected. Then don't even try it. Don't even try it, you idiot. They thought ahead. Thanks for nothing, Gracie. Damn, dude.

I just noticed Eric's got a little bat sticker on his laptop. Well, because he wants me to eat him.