100% Eat - Madame Web Watchalong

Episode Date: December 7, 2024

Our Heroes grabbed some Busty’s (not what it sounds like) and settled in to watch Madame Web (2024). Forced to confront her past, Cassandra Webb, a Manhattan paramedic that may have clairvoyant abilities, forms a relationship with three young women destined for powerful futures, if they can survive their threatening present. Madame Web is (currently) on Netflix so put it on and sync it up with the timer on screen and be sure to check us out on Patreon for our next livestream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

70,000 people are here and Bob Dylan is the reason for it. Inspired by the true story. If anyone is going to hold your attention on stage, you have to kind of be a freak. Are you a freak? Hope so. And starring Timothy Chalamet as Bob Dylan, he defied everyone. Turn it down! Play it loud!

To change everything. Make some noise BD. Timothy Chalamet, Edward Norton, Elle Fanny, Monica Barbaro, a complete unknown. Only theaters Christmas day. Welcome to Madame, no, no, it's Madame Webb. The watch along Madame Jam. If you're watching this live, thank you for supporting us at patreon.com slash 100 percent eat if you're watching the VOD thank you also you're just seeing us and you will see a timer at the bottom so that

way you can sync up your movie with this but if you're watching this live with us you already know the movie's right here baby where we get it netflix netflix okay all right so if you have netflix yeah you can watch watch it or if you want to rent it Who the fuck doesn't have Netflix but has like listens to the- you don't have to subscribe Can you watch it on Voodoo? Yeah, probably If you're watching Madame Webb on your vape, let us know

Oh my god! If you're watching Madame Webb on a vape, that's awesome Are you caught in her web by a spidery villain? Do you have cool sunglasses? Alright, here we go that dude That's a spoiler and if you're just listening to the watch along later not live. Let me tell you you missed the TV setup Oh, that's all for patreon Again, that's for the sicko's you want to see it check it out. That's what I put together

That's like no doesn't think we could do it. Yeah, we did. Yeah Do it. Oh, that's right medium effort medium time. It not medium medium is very minor medium payoff alright guys here. We go madam web watch along begins now ready three two play He clicked it Is it's black okay? It's beginning. Okay here. We go all right, Sony 156 13. Yep. Can you bring the thank you very much Okay, I'm ready to get strong what's wrong Fix it on the fly don't pause it though. Don't fucking pause it. Don't pause

I was gonna make a joke that I couldn't hear to my head headphones because I just assumed it wouldn't have been set up that way. Yeah. We can't hear the movie. We know. And then he said that. Oh, there it goes. Yeah, Nick, Nick, I can hear it in the headphones now. No, I was just recreating the sound.

Nick's so good at this. Who is the spidery villain? Here's the thing, Nick, I said you're so good at this. That's not me making fun of you. If I was in your seat, I would kill myself. So I appreciate what you're doing. Hey, you can't say that anymore. Unalive yourself.

You would unalive yourself with a bullet through your skull. Yeah. Okay, no fucking stupid. The chat's so good. Hey, we also got skip step. I see. Hey, get oofed. Yeah.

Nick, make go full screen so I don't have to look at this crap at the bottom. Can you do that? Yeah, why is it? I want Discord, I don't want other crap. It just didn't move the cursor. I guess we can't have both. There it goes. Okay, cool.

Whatever, now we're good. That's fine enough. It's fine enough. Guys, is this the end result? I want to see all the Eric memes, so... Sacrifice this. That's why you have to be here live. Can you imagine if we were looking at this though on that smaller TV?

Yeah. We would be missing all the webbing. It's much better. Okay, I'm gonna throw this out here real quick piss people off do we turn on caption it's on okay nice I Live in just a caption world. I always have capsules are the way it. Yeah, I'm not a caption guy I'm not really What do you what do you mean? I can't read it. Oh you can't read the captions?

Well move it around. Um. So it's so burned in my brain now from like streaming. Like I always gotta turn it on. I just leave it on all the time. I get it. Even when I watch shit. I understand.

I'm so not locked into anything I'm watching anyway. It doesn't like take it out. Hold on, she's expositing. The cellular structure man. Is being what? It's expositing. The cellular structure, man. Is being what? It's supercharged. There you go, you got it. I was trying to make it so you were listening.

So, all of this guy's lines are 80 heart. Right, yeah. Every single one. I don't know why, can you make the movie a tiny bit louder? I really wanna get in there. There we go, that's good. That's good, thank you. I wanna make sure I can rip on sure I can yeah, Mr.. Smith effectively

Is it good people can see now yes now we're good Oh, so if you're like locked in if you're like hey something something walking it watch the fucking movie yourself on that yeah, yeah Yeah, another monitor This is good beer right oh dude this I'm going slow Oh, I'm gonna go fast, so it wears off by the time this movie's over. Oh, I'm not going slow Because I'm gonna want another one and we have two more when I can split why doesn't she have time? She's she could have the baby the spider will still be there. We don't know Spiders hate placenta. Oh, and so they'll flee the jungle.

They'll smell her. She- she- she- she- Greg- Greg- Greg- Greg- She- She- She-

She- She- She- She- She- I don't ever want to do a live stream without the channel. How is- how is Babby formed? We have the-

We have the- It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It genuinely, I hated Discord before we started this. Oh, I still hate discord I just like our our discord is awesome like it's mind-blowing How many people show up? Yeah, and how active they are it makes these so much more fun I hate to like tell the audience they do good. Yeah, but you guys do good Yeah, what year is it now? This has got to be the 70s, right? I know it's like the 80s right cuz oh no no no it's too okay, so 2003 is when the movie takes place

So is he found the spider off-screen? Look how real it looks Is he the spidery villain Is that his way by the way by the way just murder someone what are you doing? He's been searching for years What are you doing? Hey, you killed Nick. What are you doing like that's the reaction? Give me the spider give it to me that one might have been real. I think that was Well, no, don't you can't walk in and make him do that

That's what it is. He didn't want to he didn't want to do it, baby. She pulled the trigger She moved herself Get got shlong I got shlonged. Dude. Uh oh, he's about to get shlonged by these spider people. If this is the first time you're watching Madam Web, this is the craziest way to watch Madam Web. Also, by the way, if this is the first time you're watching Madam Web, you're welcome. Yeah.

Because then you'll say, that was fun. Yep. When we saw it in theaters, it was mind numbing. It was mind numbing. Here they are. Dude. That's a guy moving on wires. I mean it was so like, it was like Peter Pan.

The chat, as soon as these guys showed up, it's just everyone going, what? That was also the movie. Shut up. Their cellular structure is supercharged because of the spiders, you guys. Oh! What? I'm almost done with this. Oh my god. It's just a single can of beer. I'm almost done with this. Oh my god. It's just a single can of bear.

I'm almost done with this movie. You're not! No we're not. Oh, water birth. Get in your mouth. The spider has to bite her so that she can live. Or, so that the Dakota Johnson can live. But why does it have to keep touching your nipple?

She's like, is this important? And they're like, just let it do it. Dakota Johnson can live But why does it have to keep touching your nipple? She's like is this important and they're like Let it this is a part of the spider do what it wants let the spider touch you It's actually good you want that She'll find your body. This what dumb foreshadowing. I can't believe that this is the second time we've seen that baby in big dude Maybe got a big head. Do you think they changed anything from the theater to the no? I already noticed a difference in his lines versus the captions. Oh really yeah Oh, I didn't say he said I'm not interested in helping people and the caption said I'm not interested in that ah

Same thing see this is where in the theater when we were watching it I thought we were in trouble because this felt too much like ambulance and not just the fact that she's in an ambulance But because of the way, it's cut um Jordan. I'm gonna. I wish this movie was more like Blockbuster spotted What are you doing back there? What are you doing Uncle Ben? What are you doing back there? That's not who that is maybe We don't know yet is his name is yeah, it's Uncle Ben No, Ben Spiderman Spiderman Spiderman Spiderman hey, we're Sony we can't touch Spiderman, but but

But we will Not dry it up to it and try and like ride his coattails Can't believe Adam Scott did this movie I can what did it take him a week and he got to be uncle Ben Mm-hmm and also got to be like the best part of the movie by doing nothing just existing and having bland lines was the best Part of the movie is the best part of the movie. He is the best part of the movie. And he's not even trying that hard. He's not, it's just by... Oh! It's like...

Hold on, hold on, the web! It's just being surrounded by such crap. The web. All Spiderman's raise Adam Scott. That's what they say. A rising Spiderman. Spiderman, wait... There's no Spiderman in this movie. There's really not even... there's not even Spiderman in this movie. There's a future vision

I'm gonna tell you right now. There's a spidery villain that looks just like me If you didn't see this movie But you saw the trailer and you see when they're all the female Spiderman's that never happened right so you know happen It happens in a vision of the future Yeah, and and it's as long as it was in the trailer It's the the whole point of the movie is that the guy is trying to not make the thing that you saw in the trailer Happen right and spoiler he does everything he does is him making it happen if he does nothing it wouldn't happen Ben Parker?

I literally don't get it. Whoa, that guy's bald. It's a bald head of behavior. Keep your eyes out for all the bald head of behavior. She can't keep getting away with this. Sidney Sweeney has to do something. She has to be in something competent. She has to. Yeah, I mean, she can do whatever she wants. She's acting. Wasn't be in something competent. She has to.

Yeah, I mean she can do whatever she wants. Look, she's acting. Wasn't she in something competent? She was in Euphoria. Euphoria. And that was like the thing. Did you not buy her as the dorky girl with the glasses? And then since then...

And then she is, no, she's like filming stuff right now, she's getting jacked for it. Right? She's in like that, that, uh, the boxing movie, which I hope is so good. I want it to be so good. I don't trust it, but I want it to be. Just trust it, baby. You can trust it. It'll never hurt you again. Trust the process, Eric.

It'll never hurt you again. It, she means it this time. Yeah. Sydney Sweeney means it. She'll never do a Spiderman again. Jordan Caso. Jordan queso There you go under the screen Do you want the chips just putting him opposite to coda-johnson he'd like deserves an Oscar

It's like she's an energy vampire, and he's fighting so hard. It doesn't work on him He's just being a normal guy, but it just makes Her acting seem so bad, but she doesn't want kids. She's not interested in a family. She'll never adopt for random children No, she'll adopt for teenagers They grew up in the Spiderman and by her cool glasses the thing we talked about I think after we saw this movie was Dakota Johnson thought that- Say May, no, she's not May, dude. She thought that she was going to be in a- Well, they're talking about a girl that he likes.

She thought that she was going to be in a Marvel movie. Yeah, that's what this is! Yeah, she got scammed, she got scammed. I mean, she didn't read the fucking fine print. I'm sure Sony was slapped all over that. She probably doesn't know the difference, like the nuances of the Sony Spider-Man- She called Dad, she called Don. And she was just like,

What do you think? And he was like, I don't know, let me call Cheech. What? Gracie read that, be a doctor. You will become a doctor. And you will be Spiderman. You will eat seven fortune cookies At the time that we're doing this I watched the the ride-along comes out tomorrow

But I watched it again today to like write all like the metadata for it or whatever So much of it is talking about Gracie becoming a doctor based on seven cookies She eats and none of them are doctor-adjacent in any way, shape, or form. That is a stronger story and script than Madame Web. It is. Can you believe we once again probably spent, when we do Mikey Fredo and Friends over at patreon.com slash Mikey Fredo, my goal is 30-35 minutes, and if it's flowing, we just keep going.

And we went longer with you. We almost go longer every single time. Of course. It's not like we have to stop right now. It's just more like All right, we've done enough here. We've put in the work. We should end it now. And I did that like three times We just kept going. Yeah, I think we were right stories that we didn't we were right about an hour Yeah, probably 20 minutes Gracie talk. It's just unavoidable. Yeah, It's unavoidable. She is such a presence. Yeah. Well it's just talking about her explaining her to other people. Yeah. It's so hard to explain and it sounds like the things we say are exaggerations and they're not. And a lot of things I say are, it's like for like for content, Gracie, you just keep

it real and it's, it tracks dude. Seven fortune cookies. I don't believe anything bad happens to this cat in case anyone's no, there's no cat murder. Yeah Oh, yeah No, but doesn't the bird not die. Yes No, the bird that that's when she starts on web powers that a balloon does pop She saves the bird and then thinks nothing of it, right? That was weird anyway, the thing that keeps happening to her is that we all know what her power is she has to be and but also it's not like one time that's what happens like six times it happens so much like well this is weird yeah she just keeps going I got a try

doing drugs like what like what the fuck it nuts nuts all the pictures from mom took I'm glad they made it back to her. I'm glad those spider people brought it back to her. I'm so glad we're not in a movie theater and we have to be quiet. Hahaha! Because I could not watch this again, silently. Did the, uh, did the bad guy take that picture of her? Yeah.

Holding the camera? Uh-huh. I, I, I did tell Alfredo how Gracie was watching it 12 year old style. With her knees in her sweatshirt. Oh! Just bundled hood up. January was cold. I mean, it is generally cold in her sweatshirt all just bundled hood. I was cold I mean it is generally cold in movie theaters. She's just a girl She was have no circulation wrapped up eating a pretzel watching this movie ready to fall asleep

Like she was done. She didn't want to see this This box is the most random bullshit of family heirlooms This box is the most random bullshit of family heirlooms. Check it out. Now, Madame Webb hates spiders because a spider killed her mom. Spider killed my mother. Is this where it all starts? Has there been any sort of inciting incident yet? No, not yet.

No, this is where it starts and she does nothing to stop it. Right. Right? Isn't that what happens? She's like, that's weird. That guy died and then he dies again. Who is it again? Who is it that dies? I forget. It's the chief, right? Who is it? Who? Isn't it like the fire chief or something? It's like one of the other paramedics. No, it is, what I'm saying the actor Oh Mike Epps. That's right. Mike Epps. Mike Epps is in this movie for two minutes. Mike you watch it You go, oh shit Mike Epps and then you go. Oh, no Mike Epps. Mike Epps died. I hope she changed the future Nope, she doesn't know. Somebody in Chance says Ben Parker dies, which is technically correct. It's just not in this movie. Yeah She does have a vision of it and doesn't do anything She goes doesn't sound like it's my problem.

Yeah, do you think maybe she'd give him a call? Like give him a heads up? Like, hey, this whole movie is Dakota Johnson not hap- She lacks urgency the entire time. She lacks anything. Yeah. Yeah, ask her, I'll give us nothing. These onions are so salty.

I know. I think they're saltier than they were the other day.-hmm. It's cuz it's a double order. Do we go yesterday? It was two days ago. Okay, it's hard to remember more About webs for I don't so the inciting incident is she falls in the water. Yes and balloon balloon Yep And balloon. Oh the balloon. Yep.

I remember the one actual funny scene is when she goes to the baby shower. Oh, yeah. I do think we need to be quiet for that part because it really is funny. It's the only part like I can't I don't know if I can give her credit for it because she's dry and lifeless the entire film. But it's the only scene where like it's funny and makes sense. It's like that. It's it's where the broken clock is right. Yes. And it's like yay, baby, and she's like I hate everything babies die Everyone just saw the s underwater Not the s the s stands for hope that No, the s it's like an s But then like the s has nothing to do with it or something?

It moves all over the place. When you see what the S is from at the end of the movie, you're gonna be so excited. No! For Maddenweb. Hey guys, CNN update. Greenland is opening a new airport, but tourists are not in for a standard experience. No! Give me those this. Sure. Thank you. Ha ha ha! That actually has nothing to do with her going in the water. Yeah.

She's always just above dead fish. I'm gonna finish this. Absolutely. Yeah, the airport's gonna be cold as shit. Oh no! Light! Her enemy? Her enemy.

Dude, do not hang out with Bryce Quinlan. She's star born. Hey, tell your wife I'm almost done. I let her know that you were reading it, and she went... Which book again? Crescent City. But she knows I read all Akatar. Why is this surprising? Because I had to remind her. She totally forgot. Oh, that makes sense. I- it- that's a weird Venn diagram of like, I expected Akatar, but not Crescent City. No, she told her-

This- I'll be honest with you, this is far more entertaining. It's- there's like really not that much smut at all. Aww. It's like a procedural, like, cop detective novel. She liked fantasy elements. She didn't like Crescent City because it has all the fucking yeah because all of the stuff There I'm I'm like I'm like a last hour 45 minutes one sex scene the whole book There's nothing to clutch at that point hey hey

My pearls hey clutch my pearls boom she gonna love that I know that's why I said it Guys, this is the man right here. This is the spidery villain! Is he wearing shoes? He's wearing shoes. Is he wearing shoes? And he hasn't aged. He has to because society is forcing him. But not for long.

Here's my big problem in more of this movie. I'm listening on graphic audio, which I gotta be honest, so much cooler than audible. Okay. Because it's a fully, it's a full cast. they got sound effects. They got like music like it's literally Their thing is movie in your mind. It is it's just like watching a TV show and not looking at it But I scream because I can't hear their mouths moving or I can't see them Who's talking I did I did all at guitar they got all five on there. I'm doing Crescent City There's three books out right now. I'm gonna do the second one

The third one isn't on graphic audio yet. What a joker. And then the other series she did is Throne of Glass. Yeah. There's eight books. Yeah, eight and none of them are on graphic audio. Whoa! Because I think I think you know Akatars where she hit like super popularity. Yep. And now they're backtracking and like oh shit This she's popular shit We're gonna we're gonna do them all but they released them in parts too Because they'd like they do half and then throw it out Oh, so like Crescent City 3 part 1 comes out next month, but part 2 doesn't come out till March

Why the hell am I gonna listen to half a book and then wait four months? So I'm stuck either uh-huh audible But now cuz the voices are gonna be different to be one person or I gotta actually read it and I'm stuck either audible, but now because the voices are gonna be different It's be one person or I got to actually read it and I'm worried about it Neither of you can see Nick but for the last full minute. He's just been doing this and going God great No, he's having a nightmare. I just like all right here. We go guys now. This is what you saw in the trailer Wait, where's my spider? He's old in the future! In the future he looks like Eric. Okay see this? This never happens in this whole film. Yeah she never becomes a Spiderman and but

he's got no shoes on now. Bare feet. Now let me know. They took my spider. Is that good? They took my spider. I need my spiders. I fucked the CIA woman. We don't know that yet. Yeah we don't know that yet Well look at all these superheroes that aren't in this film they're not in the movie this never happens It doesn't fucking happen in the whole film How insane is that it's like whoa check out all these female Spiderman's it's not in the movie isn't that so interesting don't you? Want to see that it doesn't matter they took my spider oh? They took my mind it was just a dream my spider I'm dreaming about my spider that was a superhero landing out of nowhere. It's not a dream. It was absolutely was a dream Dude we're all gonna be murdered one day.

Yeah! I want you to remember too- What was that? I don't know. This takes place in 2003. Mm-hmm. What? Oh, right. So the technology you're gonna see in this movie

shouldn't really exist. The technology you're gonna see in this movie, yeah, is from 2011, but they're like, this is 2003. This is great because he just took this woman home for the first time, he sat up screaming, and then he went, I'm going to die. Oh no, no, no, I'm gonna get murdered. They took my spider.

They will take my spider. She's like CIA, right? Or DOJ or something. It doesn't match him at all. Yes it does, shut up. what are you talking about his mouth? Listen. I'm not even sure his mouth moved there Yes, is this guy's voice. Oh more than half of his lines are ADR in this film. Yeah, uh-huh.

Oh My god his accent that he's put it's also it's also like like you can see the difference between shirtless men in Marvel and Sony Marvel yes, but it really is this is like it's like hey Normal that's a good shit good. That's not what me being like that. It's like Marvel They're like alright, so you're gonna train for the next eight months. This is what you're gonna eat. You're gonna work out 40 hours. We're gonna come on, non-gianni you. We will take any normal human being and we will rip you apart and rebuild you into a god.

Sony's like, it's a show up, it's fine. If you watch Iron Man 1, that's how Robert Downey Jr. looks. Yeah. He's a normal looking guy. Robert Downey Jr., even though he did get in better shape throughout, he kind of survived the whole like him but doing that. Yeah I'll be in the suit. I'll keep my shirt on what else I'll wear it. I'm charming. I'm funny. Yep

I'm a silver Fox. Yep, and I'm in my 40s approaching 50s. I'm not doing that and then that's okay And now one else it was like get to the fucking gym and now I'm dr. Doom What it'll make sense. Don't worry. Wait, what? Why is he dr. Do? Yeah, why is he dr. Do? Yeah about comic-con. Yes And he's gonna be dr. Doom. He's not gonna be the dr. Doom. He is Yeah, but it's not gonna be though. Like you said, it's gonna be like a variant. Yeah, it's not gonna be the dr. Doom Yeah, but it's not gonna be the like you said it's gonna be like a variant. Yeah, it's not gonna be the doctor doom

Because they you can't you can't I will give them credit at least for not always killing her Uh-huh for not like bringing back Robert Downey Jr. As Iron Man. Yeah, but like they're gonna use him and He's gonna get that paycheck He's got it. He's gonna be on a tiny role and get eight million dollars He was again getting like 50 million for Iron Man or so, you know the end of it Do you not know how much he's making it's a hundred. He's making 100 million dollars to be dr. Doom. That's pretty nice That's a bone. I think that they went hey, we want you to come back to Marvel and he went I'll do it for a hundred million dollars they said okay, and they went Alright, and he went

Okay, this is the best part of the movie This is where we get Pepsi. Oh Do you guys know about Pepsi have you heard of it? It's 2003 and here's a Pepsi this is what Pepsi used to look like we'd be honest people weren't drinking Pepsi in 2003 They were only drinking it if it was the When did Pepsi burn? They were only drinking it if it was the prequel edition with Qui-Gon Gin on it. Hey, hey, at this point, at this point, Pepsi got a late though, 2003. Yeah, that's true. Pepsi Blue was available. No way. 2002 to 2004, Pepsi Blue. It was what if Pepsi

tasted like berries? They did something right. Oh, she also never They did something right? Oh, she also never drinks it right she plays with it the whole time. She's trying to open it. She can't Ah, you're pressing the burgers! You're squeezing the juice out! Don't push the burgers yo! But also some that but also that's like a whole style of burger, huh? Well, yeah, right like like iron-pressed burgers It's true you don't press them on the grill no You need like a magic press for it. Oh, no now. She has to be part of the girls thing nobody

This is uh Emma Thompson. Why didn't she use her powers to not take this role? This is Emma Thompson. Why didn't she use her powers to not take this role? Emma Thompson is apparently an actress that nobody likes. Really? What a bummer. Yeah. Is that not her name? That's her name, right? Emma Thompson is Emma Roberts. Emma Roberts.

Yeah. Emma Thompson somewhere else. Someone else. Is that Peter Parker's mom you're talking about? Yes. Apparently she's an actress that's Peter Parker's mom. That nobody about? Yes. Apparently she's an actress that nobody likes. Again, it's hard to work with. They're rubbing up against Spider-Man real close.

Yeah. As much as they can. What names are? Ben! Does it have a name? You'll never guess. Games? I hate games. Games? Other women? I hate women.

Games? I'm almost going to open this Pepsi. Pepsi? I hate games. Games? Other women? I hate women. Games? I'm almost going to open this Pepsi. Pepsi? I hate Pepsi. Word games. Word games.

So she's Julia Roberts niece, right? Oh, niece? That's funny. Eric Roberts is her brother. That's her dad. Hunt! This is the part you want to be quiet for. It's true. Oh, that's right

Watch intently fart fart noise How would you know It's in points I She points The only funny part in the entire movie oh Baby sausage baby sausage. Oh, oh am I dying in childbirth? Ha ha ha ha that's a weird name. Why do they keep going to her I know stop including her Zor Zorax They tried to say it, but then it went back in time. Oh you figured it out. She didn't

Baby sausage she knows this time not to eat it. When they say baby sausage, you're like, you're making sausage out of babies? It's not a baby sausage, it's a sausage of baby. Succulent. She's so crazy. Dude, she's so weird. She just said I was going to die in childbirth and now she's being fucking weird. This is because her mother died in the Amazon. I was gonna die in childbirth and now she's being fucking weird. This is cuz her mother died in the Amazon

Sorry, hey we gotta kill my caps Also just like oh they're down at the At the Chekhov's gun factory. It's whatever but like could have killed him in the fire You know what I mean? Not like a wackadoo death right because that's what it is spoiler alert. Oh this guy All right, you're alive. Goodbye She should keep doing CPR on him oh Good catch I wasn't gonna look or care at all yeah I was just I was willing this guy do is great. I'm saying help help, but I went he's gone

And I moved on there's nothing we can do That's usually how you do CPR. Just kind of looking off to the side of my abs Yeah, it's like man. I remember him from Resident Evil died in that too. Oh Made it through the second one, but I got a third one. Yeah, but it shit was custom You're killing him Dude this place is a death trap. Whoa. Foreshadowing.

Good catch, good catch. Look, sometimes you gotta break ribs when you're saving lives. Yup. I hate these swirly cameras. No, it's like high octane, dude. Yeah. My gaps! Tenet

This place been a death trap, but it's because of the stop sign it should All right, you're fine Okay, he's fine about it. He's so sable. Hahahaha. Oh no, another one. Kasia, can you do CPR on him? I forgot.

I forgot how to do it. Mike Epps doesn't give a fuck. Mike Epps got places to be, baby. He's like, I don't know, don't let him mess with your head. He drives off and he he's like white women I got a flat right he's saying it right now. He's going white women am I right. This is hilarious I'm gonna be honest you it's it's like a 20 mile an hour accident Fucking 20 mile an hour accident. Maybe, maybe. And he's in a fucking ambulance.

Like those things weigh like 50,000 pounds. Not even that bad. There's no way he would be killed from that. They don't cave in either. There's no way he would be killed from that. That would dent it. It's not, if you can tell it's just It's just the budget.

But like they couldn't even afford like a big accident. Like the doors dented He would have been like ow my shoulder Give him CPR what what alright this man's been crushed by a truck CPR now alright. He's stable what killed him What has killed a broken heart? blood I Forgot I just knew it happened, but knowing it would it happened seeing the movie and waiting for it that was insane I mean how slow that crash was it was like it's true. It's not jarring at all

It's when you know it's coming. It's like it's barely a fender bender. It's a fucking Ambulance dude those things are like tanks Like even it was like a big you know like semi they hit it, but the semi it's just the front part Don't understand. The ambulance is the whole truck. She's got blood on her hands. Cause of death. Why was he bleeding? What was he bleeding from? The injury! The injury! His mortal wounds. Look at the guy in the background. Jordan, what is he bleeding from? The injury! Nooooo! The truck that hit him. What he did what he's bleeding from the injury

When do they go to the fireworks factory? I feel like how it's not just superpowers. He's like I like my spider. Yeah, he's my friend Oh, the spider is my friend. It keeps me alive my spider. They dig in my spot. It's so shot Oh, I thought that's right. I forgot about her. Yeah I this is where the technology comes in she is 2003 if she had those screens and that many of them She would be that's a 40 million dollar set. Yeah We were just talking today about how I want he had that set up on the podcast I'm gonna get like 11. of. And that was considered crazy. Because he had like seven monitors

and they were all running things on hard drives and streaming didn't exist. Oh my God. And he would just be like running like matrix clips and just like everything and anything just constantly forever. And that was 2011. Yeah, which doesn't seem like that far

because it's not, but it's like Netflix maybe would like started streaming at that point. Right. Like I think they were beyond DVDs, but real early. But also- I don't think like Hulu or anything existed yet. Just the fact that they're flat screens is- Yeah.

It's so anachronistic. It's impossible. Yeah. It didn't exist. It did not. 2003, not that small. She is in this movie, but only in chairs. Yeah. Yes. I think she's only

She's girl in chair. This was in one day. Yeah, she's one day shoot for her This would be a great great Gracie roll Cuz he keeps like he's like I love you my baby But then he gets mad cuz she keeps not doing a good job It would be him being like did you find him yet and grace you like? Oh fuck I forgot I have all these screens, and I've been watching Fine who I've been watching Love Island all the season simultaneously. I tried it's seven screens with Google searches as a Kazooie the bear She's trying to find whatever video game she's talking about.

Fox games released 1990 to 2003. Also, is it a real memory? I still think it probably didn't happen. There are so many people that were like, oh, I think she's talking about Star Fox. No fucking way was she talking about Star Fox. She was born in 2011. I was telling him today, like even when she was saying that, if it were any of you, I had like 20 things in my head.

Is it this? Is it this? And I just didn't even bother. What's the point? Because she's not gonna know anything I'm saying. And I don't think she knows what she's saying. So what the hell is the point? Yeah, Gex the Fox Fox is that a game? My caps dead from bald head

The truck driver was probably ball big time. It was that guy from the hospital. Yeah Oh, they only cared about him that nobody checked on the driver of the other truck No, we don't care about him. He's a killer. He's a murderer That's what Snoopy was doing when people got stuck on the roller coaster. Snoopy was going, ahhh. Oh no, help them. She's so sad. Ebenezer!

Remember answering machines? Yeah. You could screen your calls. It would help Susan so much. Susan can go right to hell. Fuck Susan. Dude, Susan, oh wow, his wife, she has a heart, she has it. She hates Susan. Won't somebody think of Dakota Johnson, the woman who tried to stop him from killing himself? Why are you peeking? What's up? What do you want? What okay? I knew he wanted something. Yeah, I just saw a monkey face do this

This is so much work for me. Yeah, it really is dude. You're sorry man. You're gonna overtime all right I'm gonna get another beer before it gets any late. Yeah smart I'm almost done. Oh, no Now I can do something about it no no no no she won't be acting no she's she will act She's Melanie Griffiths daughter. She's not gonna act the birds gone The a and ASMR stands for act Open that window again. Yeah for bird. She really can't figure it out. Can't she she's a classic idiot Michael's laughing at the background. Yeah, thank you. I'm sweating. Yeah, it's pretty got warming here. Yeah

Yeah Yeah, thank you. I'm sweating. Yeah, it's pretty got warming here. Yeah Yeah Drink this isn't gonna change anything. That's what you think it immediately changes it the bird flies in hello I'm the bird and she still doesn't get it. She still doesn't get it. She's still going weird I tell this to my wife all the time about when the window of birds who are just like they're dumb like where they don't Get something they are they're a classic idiot She are a dunce with a capital B. She is a classic idiot Yeah, oh you guys got it Me and Nick I suck down the other one already yet, so I almost yeah

I mean me and Nick will suck down the other one Nick also also we didn't notice Nick is trapped nice job nice job Oh fuck me, and I got the Snoopy Cup. Are you ready for the other one? You want me to get it? Oh, oh wait. I'll grab it in a minute. Okay again I'm just trying to get it over with early no cuz off the port out for Nick cuz he's trapped like a rat He cannot get out How was that about madam web watch log it was great and they had to set up a TV But then the monkey crawled and unplugged like ten things somebody said it's 2003

You think that what that one lady would be watching RVB on one of those Martin Mercer sama She wouldn't be watching it. She would have to wait for it to be uploaded and then Well, she's downloading the MOV file exactly well. Well she's not a sponsor so it's an SD. Yeah. Sorry. You wish it was MOV, it's MKV. Yeah. But she's on the forums talking with Gavin so, you know.

Osama would be a DVD owner. Osama would be a DVD owner. How does she have access to this? How does she have access to this? She doesn't. It's pretend. There's no facial recognition in the dozen three It's NSA tech bro. Remember he got the way that woman he strangled This is the OJ or the picture of a song with

I think it was done There's dr. Robe tomato who was making so many of those opposed to them. Oh, they're so good fuck man How does she know what the girls look like from a dream that is such a good question That's right. They're also driving rest like spider people right? They're wearing masks out what he know oh my god? Is he a good artist get a sketch artist? Eric the bandito is back Okay, so what has happened in this movie so far her mom has died she Did you say what has happened or what good has I'm just trying to read by you say?

This guy's playing a PSP New York's crazy this guy's playing a PSP. New York's crazy. This guy's playing a PSP so it's this thing. Tell Kinda Funny now. You can play nut outside. Tell them Kinda Funny now. Get Greg Miller and Tim Getty's on the phone. PSPs didn't come out till like 2005. Awesome. It's the only things that are from 2003 here are the PSP and then Beyonce's album is painted on like the side of a building at one point in this film Oh, remember when they all super awkwardly get up and dance on a table at a diner and no one stops them like toxic But yeah, it's toxic and it's also it's also like It's a diner in the middle of the woods. It's like it's like a it's like a like a

It's a diner in the middle of the woods. It's like a... Like a... It's a diner in the middle of the woods. It's like southern people. It's in New York. It doesn't make sense. But it's like people that would not tolerate that shit at all in any way. He's driving a jeep and he's got a trucker hat.

It's like a trucker stop diner. And they're like, we're going to dance on this one table and no one stops them. This is hillbilly's, thank you. The chat is starting to get frustrated with her not understanding it. And they're going, this is the fourth time, lady, come on. I need you guys to understand,

she's not even fucking close to understanding her power. We are about 30 minutes away from her saying the line. Yes. It's, man, it's not even close. This was the most frustrating thing ever to watch in theaters. The only respite was that Gracie was eating a pretzel and I think the rest of us were drinking.

I'm always pretzels. Hell yeah. Okay, so we got the three girls. Bro, that half is gone already, Eric. Jesus. What wrong? You say Jesus, like it's not a light beer. it's not a light beer It's not a light beer light. All right, okay, I'm point five percent

Well, he just said that But like what she was that she was just like She was just like Is this some kind of weird party game? You just said that No, you're gonna mount Vernon and why am i looping oh remember when she just like it's like it's a minute from now just sort of

hold the skateboard oh yeah but she's like never get it she's clearly like try to get it back but don't really try and she just kind of goes Like a four-year-old when she could just like be like bitch Exactly, and she makes no effort. She's supposed to be like the street urchin kid who would do that It's just always I that shit stands out to me so much in movies when someone's like fighting back But they're not like being pinned up against the wall Dude like try changing a baby's diaper they're like I can't imagine a

grown human being fighting you off it's like impossible to get them to like restrain them she just goes like claw and she just goes no no no and she's like there's nothing there's nothing I can do. It's happening. She's got the skateboard. Yeah, no right there She literally touch it. She touches it, but doesn't grab it Give me my freaking skate board. Freak off lady. They lock eyes. Yep. Why is he barefoot? Great question Keep asking. Imagine walking barefoot on a New York sidewalk I Don't want to sit on the sidewalk. Oh she's trying again!

Alright now try and grab it, but don't really... Oh she's starting to get it! But not yet! Good acting. Also, you're like They're teenagers. You're like 20. It's right. She's trying to abduct us! There's four you could any one of you let it all of you could kick the shit out of Dakota Johnson Or just literally leave. You could just beat her ass senseless. Hell yeah. I like look they're looking away from her. She's trying to abduct us, anyway.

Sydney Sweeney is 27 years old. Jesus Christ. Oh there he is! Oh no! Come on! What the hell? Now show us his bare feet. Show us his arches. Sydney Sweeney is so ugly wearing a jacket and glasses.

Yeah. Yeah, she's so de-hotified. What a leper. You don't understand, she's just a nerd. Funny. Funny. This is why you have to be here for the chat to like watch this live. The pictures that are coming up

are so upsetting to you. Yeah they should release the Zack Snyder bald cut where everyone's bald. And it's the black and white. Why are the lights flashing? Because he was beating up the conductor. Yeah. So naturally the lights flash?

Uh huh. Well the conductor is flipping switch. Ah help me! That's the international civil war. I'm in trouble. Spider-Man! That's not Spider-Man it's a spidery villain. Switch yeah International civil for I'm in trouble spider-man That's not spider-man to spidery villain. Why did he change into the suit? Why didn't he come in the suit right? You know I mean like why didn't he walk around barefoot like a freak?

They're running so slowly. They're not even running Or she's getting arrested no Ma'am I'm white ma'am. I'm white ma'am. I'm white So he's not a spider-man he has no webs He just does this why is he attacking the cuffs and not them? Just spider are helping him he does spidery things But he is not the spider-man strong black-suited spidery fo Everyone in the church is saying a campiderman. He's strong! Black suited spider-y foe. Everyone in the chat just sang A-cap.

Well, I mean that's why. He does want to catch them, but he does also hate coming. That's kind of like, that's where it's like a gray area. Yeah! They cooked my spider. He's actually the hero. I have to get rid of specifically these three girls proceeds to attack everyone but them Oh, this is the cab oh I hope you enjoy this cab because you're gonna see it literally the rest of the film

Space cab a space cab In 2003 people don't know what you're talking about right they just think a cab. I don't understand No They're not even being that right right right just kind of there. They're being quiet, they're mostly just asking, Hey, so what's going on? Can you explain anything? SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE! God!

Julia Cornwall! I hate kids so much! They're all so old. They're so grown up. Why, who gives a shit? I hate you. I hate you all. I actually wish you were dead Nice And then she flips on like the she starts charging them right that's gonna be $45 I hope you have enough for a tip

Oh She invented uber Oh Why early 30s late 20s yeah? Right you're kind of a zombie looking woman has abducted some children a wooden a wooden woman has stolen three girls girls A wooden woman has stolen three girls. Girls. Jonah? J. Jonah? She just threw it out of the window. I like no sound effect either.

Can I get my phone back? It is 2003. Okay, so why do this? Just leave. Dakota Johnson is an idiot. Oh, that's right. I forgot where they go. They're gonna go live in the woods They live in the woods, and then she goes I'm going to the Amazon And then it becomes Indiana Jones for about 10 seconds I can't wait to find out what the noise was that scared me Hey, and I don't remember and Madame Webb the sinister Ezekiel Sims uses his dark spider-man powers to hunt down Maddie Franklin Anya Corazon, and Julia Cornwall.

When the girls are on the run, Maddie mentions she can call her uncle Jonah for assistance. She doesn't specify how, but she is adamant he is capable. This is a callback to J. Jonah Jameson, the editor of The Daily Bugle who caused Peter Parker so much stress across the many mediums. Created in 1963 by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, Jonah kept trying to expose Spider-Man's identity.

He went on to date Aunt May and became Peter's ally, although he became incensed when he learned Peter duped him for years. While J.K. Simmons played Jonah in the movies, fans don't see who this Jonah is in this pocket of the Sony Spider-Man universe. Pocket? It's not a pocket. It's not Spider-Man. It's the same. Yeah, it's totally different and you can't say it. This is... they went to the woods and they're gonna be in the woods for a while So I hope you guys love the woods. I hope you love the woods Yeah, I'll fucking kill you yeah, I'll kill you Yeah, I'll fucking kill you! Yeah, fucking idiot! I'll kill you!

Shut up! This is super awkward! I'm awkward about everything, bitch! Have you seen her? Wow! Guys, this is the web! This is the web! The web she weaves. I don't know man

Somebody asked for a you review Of Madame Web, so I went on oh my god tomatoes real quick just just for the audience Uh-huh and since this is a well hold on actually There is a good moment here, uh-huh because when we were in the theater this moment coming up Got a reaction from the people behind us. Oh, yeah The people behind us when she said this went the fuck This is such a stretch by the way I I looked up the Jonah thing. Yeah, it's like top ten references Oh, what other references are there? Number nine? It's gonna happen shortly here when they go to the diner we talked about that's disgusting

Absolutely absolutely disgusting This is this seems like such a stretch. It goes, when the girls hide out in the woods outside of New York, they decide to sneak away to a diner to grab some food. It's inadvisable because Sims is tracking them relentlessly. However, the stubborn Maddie makes it clear the others won't like me when I'm hungry. This is a play on the iconic line, David Banner uses the incredible Hulk warning people he wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Did you say David? Yes. David Banner. It's Bruce Banner. David Bruce Banner. Oh Incredible Hulk warning people he wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Did you say David? Yeah, David? Bruce Banner David Okay, okay from the show the show I show is David Banner and then Bruce Banner's yeah It's insane that he has a different name that is weird. That's insane I did not know that I didn't know that either and I didn't question at all But like that I'm sorry. That's a reference. Yes, but barely I feel like it's not yeah also, let me find someone also David Banner is a

An artist musical a musician Had a lot of songs get like me cool like a pimp. Oh play dude He's got some hits so apparently the diner at Peter Parker hung out at the diner I what sure yeah, no Here's a review what half star okay? That's impossible lame that rubbish Awful acting Madame Web plot is awful in quality execution boring and lame The story tries to weave a complex web of psychic powers and spider-verse connections, but it ends up feeling like a half-baked fan fiction with zero stakes. The characters,

especially Dakota Johnson's lifeless Madame Web, are as flat as cardboard. The supposed team of young women around her are reduced to one-dimensional cliches with no real depth or purpose. Zero, the number zero, character development. The dialogue is so bad it's comedic and the action scenes are more like a series of extremely poor executed visual effects experiments. Speaking of visuals, the CGI is distractingly awful with everything looking like it was ripped straight from a mid-2000s video game. I heard the bad reviews, but this is a zero out of ten. Yeah. She also just said, I'll be back in three hours. Stay in the woods for three hours. That's easy. It's beautiful.

This, they don't know each other. We don't know what's happening. They just, she just went, stay in the woods. The woods. It's like, she is still, guys, I hope you like this cab. This cab is here the rest of the movie She becomes a cab driver Whoever whoever this cab belongs to that she stole it from is now bankrupt. Okay wait right here

She drives it to the Amazon. Beyonce! Hey, it's 2003. She's still around to this day Remember her? Lemonade! A cab All right, let me get this and now I'm sorry what I'm going to find it that is not how you pop off yes it is and happened and shut the fuck up you and also it's not like it's going to draw more attention now that it doesn't have a license plate in our you know Nick's getting bunchy over there with the beer when he's yelling fuck you

Yeah, the tools just there it was like a like a ratchet just laying on the ground and clank Is that the Fox you're they you're thinking a Jack and Daxter She goes back to this bullshit. Oh, her cat. It'll die. Her strika. The cash cap. It'll die! One second, cat. That's how I talked to cat when she was an intern for us. One second, cat.

Okay. It's cat with a K. Gracie with a Y, cat with a K. Now everyone's saying, a cat. Gracie with a Y, Cat with a K. Now everyone's saying a cat. All cats are turds. What do you want? Petals. Petals?

There's no one, dude, they're gone already. I think I ate about 90% of them. There's a ranch? Yeah, there's a ranch if you want the ranch. Tiny bit of ranch. No, there's not. This is not. I got some ranch, too.

The answer is here. Give him this. Give it give them this He didn't even ask for food. You want the chips? He's just Chips or fries he has fries. He has fries. The salt is tickling my throat. I so here's the thing I'm gonna climb a wall. I did ceiling guy I Did two orders of fries? Let's know this line. Why listen to this line so he could have one Yeah, but you should have two orders of fries. Listen to this line. Why? Listen to this line. So he could have one.

Yeah, but you should have two orders of onion things. Oh This part this part. I thought was funny I thought this was genuinely like the way they shot this and everything was like oh this was this was like I thought Everyone thought this was going to be the best part of the movie and it is so stupid Well she has to take her fucking shoes and socks off. The way she slides down is very funny. And then that's it. Yeah. That's the only part that's like, oh that wasn't any good.

They had an idea, they executed it and then they went, Moving on, back to Da Book. That was one take. Now if they really wanted to do an homage to the other Spider-man movie she would be outside and it would be that same Shot with the with the brick wall. Yeah, she's about to do it And then she just think they're gonna do that right in this movie. No fuck no. I guess not She can't see shit What was the point of that she was trying to see if she was spider-guy the point was oh my god

Yeah, don't think about it. It's him. That's the guy who was in the Amazon with his- with her mom right before she died. Is that a spidery villain? Hahaha. That's a spidery villain if there was one. My guy's Zeke.

My guy's Zeke. Maybe Zeke was right. He's just trying to protect himself. He's got a cushy life. He's got a pet spider that keeps him young He doesn't want anything jeopardizing that and these three girls are just gonna murder him for no reason I might add Wow, if you think about it, he's kind of the victim. Yeah Oh, we got rat beer. Yeah, you got rat beer. No

Why is he screaming? There's one more rat beer in there. Yeah, I'm also gonna do half Yeah, he wants it Nick wants the other half. Why is he screaming? It's IPA, but it's only 6% Oh it is good Just give it to him just just you can just have it Nick no, it's okay What do you mean you there's it's okay? What is okay? Okay? Whoa, I be a give me that you can have it. No What's a part of the story go to jail a long time ago? She's so smart do we know about pollution then yeah, we knew about it in the 90s, okay

They had the line so sad about Martha Stewart her trial was in 2004. Oh wow shut up quiet not 2003 Hey, hey, hey shut up Snoop Dogg shut up. Shut up fuck up. I'm so glad that journalist is dead God their food so salt is I'm disintegrating from salt me too You're just integrating from something else my friend Who the fuck built a fire they did? How did they do that? Spiderman why did they do that because they're cold because it's the middle of summer

It's day time it's the middle of the day I mean, I don't know what season but it certainly doesn't look cold. It's not winter. They're all wearing short sleeves and shit. Uh-huh. She's wearing a tiny jacket, but that's fashion. Yeah. That's not. That's form, not function. I don't know why they needed a fire. They're like, fuck it, you're in the woods. It goes make a fire. All right, well, no sense. Well, we've lit this fire. Time to leave it. Smoking the bear would be pissed. This is like so much stronger. Uh-huh. Take a sip of that. Like it's still good. Like compared to the 9.5. It's like

That's an IPA. That's it. That's an IPA. Who's driving him home? He's sleeping here. We gotta go. Yeah, I'm not going all the way to Flugerville. Oh shit. I'll take him with me. He's sleeping here. We gotta go out. Yeah, I'm not going all the way to the river. Ha ha ha oh shit I'll take him with me Where we going you can sleep with the cats I do a spare room you want you want to go to chewboy? Whoa, is that okay? I might take you there the diner That's what I read Nick lives in England is this the s. Oh you wish. You wish this was the S. You wish this was the S, you dumb bitch.

It got quieter inside the diner. Yeah. Well it's blasting outside. Yeah, where'd the music go? He was playing via campfire. Nick's not making shit tonight. He gonna be sleeping soundly. I'm gonna make some good shit tonight.

I don't think you will be cooking anything. I'll be cooking a lot. Okay. What the fuck does he mean? I told you we should drink them early. I told you. How much time is left in this movie? How far are we into it? We are not that far. Halfway. Are we halfway? Move the mouse. No, I think we're 45 minutes in. Oh, almost. No, yeah, almost. No, we're halfway. Yeah, no, we're halfway. That's insane Nothing has happened in this movie. Yep. I thought we were like 40% I'm glad Yeah, no, I'll take it if we could be watching this at 2x I would be over here

He wants something yeah She's 27 years old look at these upstate kids All pies is edible Madame web I Mad web Yeah, there's the trucker guy girls fear abducted, but they're not it's the same day Oh, yeah, nothing is ever it's been six hours. She's gonna call her uncle Jonah. Yeah. Oh sure yeah He didn't hear us call, but he did he was like My Jonah said I like this guy too. This is the last guy ever that would report this.

Right. He would be the guy going, Oh, they appear abducted? I might as well abduct them. That guy would not be calling for help. He'd be like, sounds like they're easy to get. It's still Mike Epps' funeral right now. Oh my god, it is! Hold on, we got get we got we got a

little bitchin yeah where's Cassie look he's doing hang on here we go hang on check your blackberry but does that exist maybe shoe check no shoes no socks I saw neither brought 206 here we go I'm getting in my cool car. He's gonna drive barefoot Dude it's so bad Go Go for just in the body bag. It's so his mouth isn't moving Hey car He's also talking like he had a stroke. Yeah, he's talking through half of his mouth I don't know why that was somebody's note where it was like I just feel like he needs to be like

Maybe he's like hey, he's have an accent or something. That's like a little more like he needs to feel more diabolical Okay, this is my You're still moving both sides no need I don't know why he was doing uh-huh why are you talking like that that's good the fire went out they've been here yeah they're definitely not here anymore maybe they're under the leaves monkey juice she's just a folks hey I'm 80 yard

time to start the show what I did my Britney's way So what did she do when she left them in the woods? I genuinely don't remember drove back to her house and tried to climb a wall. That's correct. That's that's about it. Yeah, here it is They would be beaten off of these tables. I'm just like especially in like it's not even upstate New York It's just outside of New York, which like I don't, it's not even upstate New York, it's just outside of New York. Which like, I don't think places like this even exist in New York. There's no rural New York of like...

Just outside of the city. Like in Austin, it's very like... It's Austin and then it's... Techie and Austin, and then you go 10 minutes out and it's like Texas? That's not really how New York works. No. You gotta get way out into the finger like...

They're just standing there and no one is doing anything No one is doing anything. Why are they listening to her like she's their mom These places do exist. Oh, yeah, that's right. These places do exist but not not there not not close ten minutes outside New York City Damn, she's dead. Well, this is the best part of of the movies that you get to watch them die over and over again And you go what and then it just rewinds he did go on the ceiling which is pretty cool That's why he's called ceiling man. No reason Real movie I'm everywhere! Toxic, toxic, I'm a man of my own And I'm born in paradise

I'm addicted to you Stab me with a stick knife AHHH! OHHHH! And then she goes, that was weird, I wonder what that was Anyway, this is like a fan edit She just, she just She just sorta goes, huh, nuts

Let me try again. Yeah Nothing nothing matters. Oh what I want to see in a superhero movie is children get murdered Well, you're not gonna see that here because they're 27 years old Also she using safe states that's cheating live die rip Good movie. I just rewatched that recently this track is gonna be huge such a good movie that it's ten years old game believe that Yeah, yeah, it's a fucking good. It's still good. It was fun Tom Cruise had asked live die repeat was the tagline at first right yeah, yeah I was called an edge of tomorrow tomorrow. Yep, and then they were like it's still kind of switches

But it really I really am not sure still every time she hangs in the cab the chat goes crazy edging tomorrow I I definitely think a girl dressed like this in 2003 is not going. I love this Britney Spears song They're going Britney Spears is so fake yes, yes Say junior in high school like that's me like that was this shit oh you like Britney Spears I'm into like off off the mainstream yeah I'm really in a different stuff death cab a cab whatever I'm gonna tweet that right now. No! You're gonna exit.

You should skeet it. You should skeet it. Don't, don't skeet it. Oh shit, should I blue sky it? No, you should skeet it. Okay, I'll put it on blue sky. Is that what skeeting is? Yeah.

Blue skeet, skeet, skeet. I don't know, I don't know why. I don't know why. Oh. Okay, stop over there. Okay, A-cap for cutie, done. Oh my god! She's so cool so cool. She almost Mike Epster so I like classic Mike Epstein

Guys did you like that last time check it out? Oh Did you like her hitting him with a cab stay tuned? I dude I forgot that the car is the biggest part it really is The car is the most powerful weapon and also there was a shot right there where she looked back longingly at her skateboard Will this be important later no Tony Hawk gave me that never heard of it It's like it's like when people are like dead it uh Sigmund Freud Wink wink we gotta get save me a cab. He's a wacky. There's so many shots of them looking disappointed in the back seat of this Yeah, all they're doing is looking at the script

Don't wait he's gonna be going nuts. Oh here we go. So different. So different. Oh no you're not. And you shouldn't be honestly. Yeah. You will be sorry. Your agent should be sorry. I could have been watching this brand new show, Grayson Adams. She closed the little door. That's pretty funny. It's the last season of Friends! All that you could prevent bald headed behavior. She's still reeling from Seinfeld. And that was like four years ago. They went to jail and I can't accept it didn't make any sense And I don't have a so I can't watch this fucking guy again, he's walking around in the first season of curb Larry goes to buy a cell phone

That's how old it goes to a cell phone store. That's hilarious, and he's like We've said this before but that show could be called ball that it be Okay, hey just so everyone knows the chat just found out her name is web her last name is web yes Her name is Cassandra Webb. The chat is furious. Her name is Webb. It's so on the nose! Yeah, they were actually doing- Only he can prevent baldhead behavior. They were actually doing typos.

It should be Madame Webb with two B's, because that's her name. Madame Webb-ub-ub-ub-ub-ub fuck this movie. Fuck you, fuck this movie, fuck. Madame Webba is a soda. What the? A Webba, A Webba, A Cabba. This movie rules. Trash. Dude. Mike Epsbe.

Bro, that's what they call Bryce Quinlan, trash. And then Hunt, Hunt Athelar gets really mad. Oh no! And he starts choking people. And then he gets his wings cut off for it, but don't worry. They go back They go back guys, but then he tries to buy Then he tries to buy some drugs to overthrow The government and go well for him. What's up, Jordan? I got another one-star review of this movie

Now I want you to keep in mind. I did not write this, I'm simply reading it. Okay. And it says, this movie is so bad, I guess some- Hahaha! Fuck. I guess some guy was caught masturbating in a theater to this movie. Hold on, I want to look at you for a second. That would be way more compelling to watch than this movie.

Also, to what? he's pushing this back I don't know why he wants he wants to look at you. Okay read I also saw that I also saw in discord and someone said this is Obama's favorite movie And I don't know if you meant Osama and you typed Obama because I don't know where Obama's coming Those are two different guys But they fucked that up a lot not if I thought of a lot in 2002 two different guys. But they fucked that up a lot. They fucked that up a lot in 2000. Two different guys, not if I have anything to say about it.

They remember how many times they called Obama Osama when he was president? Oh yeah, Hussein Osama. I mean Obama. Obama Cab. Abolish Obama Cab! Oh man. Abolish Obama cab Abolish Obama cab Man Cave we can find I hate Osama care

Shit now at least they're not in the woods. They're just at a right now. They're in a different place, and they're talking No, they're not Osama Hussein bin Laden no one's talking affordable care a cap Dude I Honestly, I can't get enough of Osama bin Laden with moon balls Yeah, I can't get enough of you thinking that he was alive and missing it by about a decade by like a decade Yeah, he was watching funny man Not even like surgeon simulator

Early on being off by 6-7 years. Yeah, yeah. Just like 2016-2017 shit. You know Osama was always watching those Hitman videos. He needed to know how to get the achievement. Osama originally wanted to hit the tower of piss. But there was only one so he didn't really think it would do much Also obsidian so hard yeah obsidian would not melt from jet fuel no

Melt is obsidian honestly honestly Ray left. Oh, no so much is what what's the point take me? He answered the door He was like fuck it he's come on in he saw Ray with that no fade fade hair cut Some hair cut it's just up to Give me a fade no Take me out shit right Oh shit. Rape cap. This is much harsher. Yeah, oh dude, the rat beer is way harder than the beer is hard.

If you can get the tropical force, dude, that tropic force is really good. It's so good, but like, and it's plan your night accordingly. It's because it's so good you're gonna wanna keep drinking it. Two beers is like wine drunk that photo Yeah, two beers is wine. This is I mean, it's almost 10% wine is like 11 12 and wine like I don't like wine, but no people like wine. It does not go down like beer No, I could drink I would so easy. I would drink 12 ounces of wine Like I told I was telling Jordan about earlier it's like a Coors of wine as fast as I drink this.

Like I was telling Jordan about earlier, it's like a Coors Light. As far as like drinkability. Compared to other IPAs, it should have like a skull and crossbones on it. We're not sponsored by Voodoo Ranger, but should be. We love you! In the future. Come on back. They will destroy me.

They will destroy me, and Voodoo Ranger will sponsor me. I can see the future come on back they will destroy me and voodoo ranger will sponsor I can see the future my spider. They took my spider. I Am the one my sense of spider is tickling He's such my sense of spider. He's such a bad villain. Do you want to see my yeah? He's the bad guy I have a spider at home. You wanna see it? Stop with the feet ants! That is... That is...

It's also like very much like you're naked. Your whole body is naked. That is the craziest... It's gross, George. It's gross enough, but like what it leaves the imagination is even worse. It's Absolutely vile the way the feeder The foot is that is unnatural I'm trying to make a heart with my feet

Stop dude, it's so disgusting. Alright, stop calling attention to it. They'll stop if we don't mention it. Oh my god, keep doing it. Nick knows that the arches are the part that they like the most. I know that's what people want. They are a-sleep. A-sleep. Holy shit.

Oh. Oh fuck man. shit Fuck man It's a shame that we're not recording this It's arch a rc. Hey now. They're a wake Why did why did she get her own bed? That she didn't sleep in. Cause she paid for it. It's 2003, here's Tiffany with I Think We're Alone Now. I think we're alone now.

Which is a cover of like a 50s, 60s song? Yeah, cause they were alone. Hang on. Why is it cute? It kind of has those like blush lines. If you know what I mean. We don't know what you mean. A cab for a cutie.

There you go. Wow! Oh, here we go. She's going to teach him. And it's fine because all of a sudden you'll just go, you're good. And he's stable. He can go, staying alive, staying alive. A-C good. Yeah, he's stable ingo Staying alive Now see a good movie would just be like I'm gonna teach you CPR

But instead this movie decides everyone's got to get it Everyone's got to get it right and we've got to see you don't stop If you stop they die what if they wake up keep doing going keep going No, that's what you stop and say they're saying oh, you're killing me. Don't stop. They're trying to trick They're trying to trick you and you can't be sued that's that's death trying to take them across the river I gotta go pee if this is what they're gonna be doing, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. Oh, by the time you're back, they'll still be doing this.

Right. And if she decides to go to the Amazon in between, just know that like, she doesn't drive there. I'm doing CPR. That's what you think. Someone said this scene is five minutes too long and the scene is like four minutes. Every scene has an insane length to it. Yeah, they're so crazy. Let it end! Fuck! What are we gonna do with him when we're done?

I don't know. He's gonna stick my back and shoot him. No, he's gonna look at you now. He's gonna look at you now. I need you to know that when we got the queso, he got so excited to use these chips for it. Well, just in case. They are like five months old. They're fine! Give a shot, Nick.

They're not fine. Hand me the queso. Just toss it to him. I'm gonna toss it. It's not gonna move, trust me. Ready? Ready? Cue this up. Can they see you? Yeah. Oh yeah. Just toss it to I'm gonna toss it. Yeah, it's not gonna move trust me ready ready Cue this up. Can they see you? Yeah? Oh, yeah cue this up. Okay, three two one

Good nice. I tried to do like a side spiral. That's good He went whoo Okay, she's gonna go to the Amazon Yep, but just for like a week No shit, we bought them. I'm not exaggerating. It was like five months ago. We bought them during fan gate remember Remember when we didn't even just open them that was like two months ago. Yeah Remember when we bought the fan and then Jordan was like two months ago. Yeah remember when we bought the fan and then Jordan was like Why is the fan on and whose big keys are these

He is that she's going to drive to the Amazon and they're like, okay, you're here. Hey Ben's here How do you find her you didn't come to the funeral? It's it's the day after my guess like everyone's looking for and they can't find her and shows up It's just everyone see the cab gets in the cab She drove off and now she's here Captivating music playing is what okay now we have to hear whatever the sound is that scares Nick Thank you for turning it up. Hey Mazan She's in Peru. I don't remember where that happened. Is it here? It's it's she's like looking out at the trees here I can't remember where you're talking. Yeah, me neither

Dude just like the guy Just like the guy said when she needs answers she will come back yep, and he will be there That was the spider-man. It was like me waiting in Walmart. Just looking at my watch. Where is this fucking TV? They're like, where is she? We can't watch this without I could have sworn. She wanted answers sooner than this Why did the movie start here? What a miss all this they just a good question to the Amazon Which is inside of a studio with a bunch of ferns. I like ferns. This is what the Amazon looks like.

He likes ferns. Nothing is making a scary noise, Nick. Not yet. It's coming, it's coming. Ah! Ah! Shit! Oh. This. Oh. Ah! Ha! Shit! Oh That's...

Oh How does she know where to be? Like she has a journal dude A book! Come on! Even then it's 2003 She looks like she could use a map Oh man. Gracie and her family are watching this in Dallas right now. She would never subject her brothers. They're all just inside their sweatshirts. Yeah That's how they watch movies together. Whoa. This is the same tree. Okay. I think this is it

This is the same tree. Okay, I think this is it. Ah! He jumped it. He did it again. But what makes it bang? I don't know. It just appears. It showed up.

Yeah. It's a lot of bang. It's supposed to scare us. Well, it's like a magician smoke bomb. And here I am. Hey, man. But also, but also this guy. It's been 30 years.

I've been waiting for you. But also this guy was spider decked out. Yeah, and now he's a regular guy. And Now he's just a regular man for no reason. It makes no sense. Why is he white? Good question Also the answer she get not important. No the answer she gets is a With great power comes great responsibility. Yes, they change it Yeah, like I kind of mix it up a little bit mix it up a little bit. Just a nudge up to that spider man again It's like with great Responsibility comes some power I think and also the power of Pepsi

Guys I can open a booster pack on the Pokemon. Oh, yeah, let us know what you get. Okay. Hey pool. Hey mom I'm gonna open I'm gonna open a Mewtwo pack this okay cool I'm glad you're so engaged He's not just a normal guy. He's a normal guy, and he's wearing like a neckerchief yes. Yes. Yeah Yeah, he's very fashionable, and we don't know why This sucks. He's so normal doesn't he like shove her into the water? Oh, we got a Ralts! I don't know what that is.

That's like what your rival has in one of them. When you take on responsibility, great power will come, is that what it is? It's something like that, yeah. Yeah, here we go! Oh, see, he soul shoved her. That's fine. That's not, that's not abuse. Oh! That's from Dr. Strange. you can kick the shit out of someone's soul

She like talks to her mom Yeah, and they have a conversation about how it's not her fault or or she doesn't hate her anymore She comes to realize that she actually loved her Yeah, she must hate you. Imagine thinking that. Yeah. My mom was in the Amazon for a reason I don't understand. She must hate me. Oh, maybe that guy who killed everyone hates me. Mom, why'd you pull that trigger? You hated me so much.

Why did you hate me enough to die in a jungle? My spider. I love my spider on the ground bleeding out. That's on me. That's on me. This is so stupid. Again, like even in the flashback, you question why is he spider decked out and then not. Right. Also, this could still be the beginning of the movie. Aren't they like in a cabin suddenly here? No, don't shut, hey, shut up. How about that? There she is. She's strong.

She likes the water. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. Oh, I forgot about this. That's the whole reason. Yeah. Yeah, that's why she was in the Amazon But I don't have that Huh wait, maybe she didn't hate me. Do you need a maybe she even kind of sort of liked me It's mom love Okay, okay, but what about like a supercharged spider? What if that helped?

Would you suggest I get bitten or eat it? What do you think's best for the baby? I? Love my daughter so much she'll never know though Yo good good. Why are you watering the plants cuz he doesn't want to look at this movie? No? This is the most important part. This is where she kind of cries oh This is where she's like oh you can see me mom you didn't hit me at all Hey, I don't want to call it out, but oh yeah abortion. It's really Hey, I don't want to call it out, but oh yeah abortion. It's really Fouchy forest I

Need you to know that really got Michael yeah Michael is laughing in the background oh fouchy ouchy oh man Also Jim jams right she was mad at her yeah like you forget Why did you hate me so much? That's why Joe Biden went there Hey Jack I got a cure underneath my help Why didn't they like write this down for her? I'll just simply explain it to her. I've been shot. You idiot

Is that what she did? Is RFK the bad spider-man? My spider My spider I think his RFK the bad spider man Stop these young women that will kill me Stop these worms from getting in my brain Too late oh shit God yeah, we have to stop Ezekiel monkey Kennedy she tried yeah the cat watcher blast Red Bull hey check this out what are those rub them together and start? clapping

I'll kill you a coin Great power Hey SMR power is this doing it an ASMR on you this ASMR is this doing ASMR hey guys are you doing ASMR monkey paw monkey oh okay wait hang on this is this is great. This is just him talking so you know it's good here we go Why don't you run a check every two minutes you bitch I'll kill you are you looking are you looking at Ben Parker's house? Have you checked Facebook? Have you checked up myspace maybe maybe one of their top eight is relevant have you been to Zanga?

This is this is Dude I forgot how wild the ketchup was oh yeah, that's great. It's good. It's different. You got to be prepared for yeah I was not prepared for it It's ketchup that's back He can't take care of kids oh No Oh No Peter was a preemie We don't know what his name is all right we never get me parker

Preemie Parker got to be careful those plosives neck Try this put your finger in front of your lips. It'll break up the air Oh it works Peter Parker It's a Peter Parker recording tip peppers His way yeah, I she fucking gonna give birth in this movie are you shitting me? Do they make her get in the back seat? Yeah, let's more roomy But also everyone else has to come They made her get in the back seat everyone has to come with them

Viva la Peter! All right, we got to get out of here. Here we go. Oh no! A truck! Watch out my caps! Watch out, watch out my caps. Susan's on a rampage in a garbage truck He's barefoot again Zoom in and hands zoom zoom in and classic classic 2000 zoom in and hands on my arches They're going to a hospital

God this is is that a McRib yeah, it's coming back. I don't know if it's back yet. I think it is back Spider-man what is bad? Why'd you scroll up Nick? Back yet, oh She's still she's still in the cab. I was looking at the chat. Uh-huh she she went to Peru came back Yeah, she has the unlicensed cab. She still has the cab. She popped him off. They can't track her The McRib is back. Did she leave it at the airport? Yeah, I might get a McRib after this. Oh, yeah Well because he's gonna crash into you at the McDonald's he can come with me, but I'm not taking him home

I just want to be very clear I will drop you off where I'm at. I'm not taking you home. He's gonna eat a McRib on the ground with your cats It happens dude it does I've had it happen he'll come back or he won't I believe it he will or he won't Madam rib It does I've had it happen. He'll come back or he won't I believe it. He will or he won't and I'm okay with this madam rib Madam rib I am I am Michael. I am Michael We not think of Michael Webb until now that's really good. I see the future. I'm getting a McRib like web Nick is driving himself home. My future could have been so different. Oh different no McRibs. I could have gotten a quarter pounder

Uh-oh This saw it's that audio is just like can you imagine it would be like It's that audio is just like can you imagine it would be like Somebody make that just now. Where's that old rupees just eating a McRib what the fuck? Do it now Turn the lights green how is he talking to her over cellular telephone? Yes, dude. Noise a spider. Spider-Man, Spider-Man. McRuby. Actually, someone said McRoo-b.

McRoo-b. McRoo-b. McRoo-b. McArby. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Now, remember, the car is the most powerful weapon in this movie. Dude, one wrong turn and Thanos wins.

They gotta get baby Peter Parker out of here so he can snatch that gauntlet. I thought you were gonna say baby Yoda. Nah. We gotta get baby Yoda out of here. Baby Yoda's in the cell. Hey, wait, go back up. She stole a paramedic. Go back up, Nick.

What? Oh. Hold on. Go back up to the other? Oh. Hold on. Go back up to the other bald headed Eric thing. That one. Go down a little bit. Oh my god. The monkey peeks in.

There you go. Hits him with a car! Mountain Sweet is a freak. He's in freak mode. Oh my god. This is why you have to be here with the chat. They're It's a little distracting cuz I missed him getting hit again. Yeah, yeah Her number her number one move sucks for that guy. Her number one move is hitting people with cars. Absolutely Well, she saw how well it worked on my guess. She's like, I'm going to do that.

You know what? That's actually good foreshadowing and they don't call attention to it. This takes everyone out. If I want to take anyone out, T-Bone. But also, what he saw earlier is that the ambulance is the weakest of all the vehicles. It's true. Only on the side. Not on the front.

On the front, the front's like a tank. If you don't get hit T-bone style. Yep. You're okay I'm not spider-man, but I'm close This is my favorite part and we cut yeah, and when was when was Toby McGuire spider-man that was like before 2003, right? So you think they'd be like why are you bad? Spider-man, what are you doing? Why are you bad? Spider-man what are you doing? Spider-man why are you emo?

Right I do love that short there Oh yeah right because remember in the trailer it was the twin towers Oh yeah For some reason they cut him out Yeah I can't figure I don't want to gloss over the fact that Does it make millions?

Something to do with that yeah He jumps on the hood of that cab and then goes like this, and they cut away. Yeah! He doesn't jump, he just does this. You mentioned that in the movie, I remember. Yeah, I think I called it out. Oh, oh, oh, this part's awesome! Oh yeah.

That's not happening! No! That's not happening! His! That's not happening! His ultimate villain is car Damn the power of electricity Damn the power of electricity That is how electricity works, okay? Imagine if he was wet He'd have been electrified

This guy sucks He sucks so hard It totally makes sense that these three girls kick his fucking ass till he dies It's 2003 it's also it's two thousand three in New York. Oh, you know what happens to us, but where is spider-man? Spider-man would kill this guy in one Spider-man would be swinging by see it. He was just like kind of kick him in the head He would just web him and be like well. That's enough. Yeah, why does this guy have no shoes? What a freak

Oh Spite Peter Parker would kill him paint it green He would kill him on his way to delivering pizza Yeah, it would be like a Spiderman 2 situation where it's just sort of like in the opening sequence And it's just sort of just nonchalantly happened. He was going to be defeated helping that lady find her purse because he was on the roof of that building on a different roof different roof lady. What are you doing? Yep. When did they go to the fireworks? Right now? She just saw it. She saw the vision of her shooting a firework into a brick wall.

I need fireworks and Pepsi stat honestly. so one of the that's right. That's so Raven. That's exactly what Madam Raven, oh my madam craven hunter. That's so web My god That's so Webb. Justin Tucker stop! Justin Tucker. Oh my god. Oh shit. Spidey in the house. We will be watching Craven the Hunter right? We have to watch Craven the Hunter.

We have to. It looks so fucking bad. We were talking about today on the Mikey Fredo and Friends how Jordan missed Beekeeper, but it was okay because it was kind of like a decent movie. It was a piece of shit, but it was fun. We gotta watch it. We gotta watch it.

I'll watch it. Yeah, yeah. But it was like better than this. Yeah, oh, Beekeeper is so much better than this. There's so many less bees than I thought would have been in the movie. Yeah, there's only like bees one time. There's only bees one time. I thought he was going to be killing people with bees.

I thought there would be so many bees Well, he keeps them. Oh, dude when we watch it. I'll bring my jacket remember. I bought that That's right. Oh, and I wanted to get this so small. Yeah, we wanted to get the suit from like yeah Guy suit and I couldn't find it, but I found the beekeeper suit. Yeah, it's like Putting on but I'll wear it if we watch it. Okay, they're the fireworks Factory, let's watch early for next month. He's waving. I can see you guys the day before Christmas No, not the day before Christmas. Okay, let's watch it in December though. Hey arson. We'll watch it the day before Christmas Eve So now they're back at the unstable fireworks factory. Yeah.

And they're laying traps. It's just, every time, it's this part and I just think of Millhouse, when do they go to the fireworks factory? That's exactly what this is, and that is what the third act of this movie is. Right. It's the poochy episode of The Simpsons. I have to go now. My planet needs me. It's Adam Webb. It's ADR, poor animation ADR.

He's got no shoes on. Yeah, put her shop in him, onto the poochy, and then like, tween him out. Cory in the house with a McRib! Dude, that's a giant McRib, dude. This chat rocks. I love the chat. Oh fireworks bloom away bottom Just like in real life I Love that. They don't show the firework blowing a hole in the wall blowing a human shaped hole in the wall

Oh, why are you perfect size? Oh, why leak? I oh yeah, it's better web shape The weight the fireworks blew a hole in the brick wall yeah, yes, but what do you not understand? Hey look check it out the helicopter. We're saved. Why is there a helicopter? We're saved because they're saved Make your way to the south side of the Pepsi Cola side People are putting it together Somebody just saying the s with three exclamation points. It's so good. Whoa my mind is blown She's webbing guys. She's met him webbingbing now. Oh she hasn't even begun to web whoa Captain America

So those fireworks just blew through a brick wall, but they're taking off or whatever she's yeah, but she's strong She's strong as a brick wall. It's like the cap shield apparently everybody can just throw it It turns out it wasn't because he was he wasn't good. It was just easy. Oh adamantium Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Christ Jesus Christ I still don't get it You have to get higher

Why do you have to get higher for the helicopter? You have to madam web Guess you don't understand great power, the great responsibility. Astral project now. Go. Hey, check it out. He punched a firework into a helicopter and it blew it up. Yeah, oh Yeah, don't mask himself holy shit. It's you. Oh, I had no idea you were the guy your ceiling guy. Oh No, the girls my spider cuz she skateboards. Yeah, you get it anyway. She sucks

That was a cool spitter grab though. Now. She's hanging there By the way, I do want to make clear right here off the bat They'll be fine. No matter what all they need to do is hang on. Yeah There's no Urgency here, they're holding on just fine everyone's dangling though. It's scary dangling is scary. There's a lot of dangling Everyone's dangling s Susie s

I don't know she doesn't know what to do. I have to web time to web You don't have to save them all bitch Here's the great power grad this sucks What what a what a movie for Pepsi to sponsor? It's such like a Pepsi Burger King situation. Yeah, Pepsi and Burger King early. Yeah, we'll do it. Yeah problem I responsibility for power must take on greatness you The chat going what the fuck is happening she's webbing Oh, no, she got punched. Yeah., webbing isn't immunity getting punched in the gut.

When you web, you just have to stand there like a dipshit. Right. You can't web and walk at the same time. She's new to this. It took her two hours of this movie to figure out her power. Now she can do something. Look how slow that was. He climbs so slow for a spidery villain. He's still getting hit with fireworks. I have one question. Are you thirsty?

A woman. He just pulls out a gun. Now pull the trigger. Let's get this over with. a woman Now pull the trigger let's get this over with You did this wait you're just like your mother weak to bullets. I know your weakness I Love my spider she keeps looking at the end. He just keeps getting trapped by random shit She's not doing anything so fucking lame I am bitch The worst zoom in what is this the office? Yes, she looks at the camera does a gym face

How did he fall well yeah, and then oh Here comes the s the p crushes him the p doesn't even make sense He is for plot showing us the s and then the P kills him! The P is for plot twist! Just-just randomly I saw flying by someone just said, COCKED. HAHAHAHA No, he got schlonged. That's a schlonging.

He death for schlonged. Oh no! Oh no! The S got her! She's back in the water! Here comes the s baby Set whim s Fireworks oh Right in the face. Oh, no. I hope she's okay. I hope she can still see my eye

I hope she ends this thing with a big smile Her daughters will save her. Her spitter daughters. Was she not swimming? Because she got rocketed in the face, dude. The fireworks are in water. Wouldn't that help not make her get burned? No! Fireworks are the most powerful element known to man. They could break brick walls. They knock down a Spider-Man, they take out a helicopter.. They know Blow up brick walls they destroy helicopters and they blind women. Why do they have a whole factory? Oh? Oh, she's not breathing What do we do?

Come on, let's all do it. Let's fuck her up. It'll be three times as effective Hit her with the car A-Cab! Oh no her eyes are all scarred I'll get CPR you shake her shoulders They need her Madam Web! She's so blind now

It's not even like the firework hit both of her eyes She is also if anything if anything surely she would have like been drowning so she would have like spat up a bunch of water Yeah, there would be a lot of water. She just started coughing She's like I'm sorry. I'm a smoker. That's good. All right. She's fine. Why aren't they walking away? Yeah, okay. You're stable. You're stable. Bye. Bye There he is the spider-man what's his name? What his name of baby? I'll never know Benjamin Pikachu Penis Parker Pikachu penis Parker he's perfect David Banner we're gonna name him Pepsi

Pepsi Pepsi Parker aww where are you? She's so happy. Who's talking right now? Dakota Johnson smiles the rest of the movie yeah because she doesn't have to look at their faces anymore Happy who's talking right now Dakota Johnson smiles the rest of the movie. Yeah Because she doesn't have to look their faces anymore It's actually all the responsibility because his uncle becomes his father has no father he's about to he's in for a rude awakening Are these family yeah, they're all mine. They're all mine. Oh, fine, but when Nick says it, it's weird. Ma'am, they're not.

What? She comes in and she's like, are you Eric's mom? Yeah. Yes. Ma'am, she's 27. They're my babies. The nurse is walking away. What the fuck?

Whatever. I don't fucking care. White women. Again, we're about to wrap up this movie. Want to point out, they never were the spider women in the movie. Right, they never got in the uniform. No. Like, it's over. this movie is over at this point She's got cool glasses everything's worked out for her. She loves it

Hey real quick guys yeah, yeah, she's paralyzed you got hit in the face of the firework bless you This sucks this She's mastered her web you won't like me when I'm starving oh Yeah, I think hangers another anachronism The chances hang boo They hate this so much. I can see better than ever have to like yeah No, you can't you're blind I Can see a movie people may be wanted wanted but why do they have one? Why do they have webs now?

Why didn't they do this in the movie? She's got powers. Why wasn't Sydney Sweeney this? Why wasn't anyone this? A concept of a movie. Why do they have powers? Because they got the guy's spider. Also, no they didn't. They never got the guy's spider. He's still in that in that Terrain you gotta go eat it terrarium. I'm dropping him off on a I'm driving south of the river and just dropping him off and going home. We've already got yeah We've already got daredevil. We don't need another blind. I'm gonna be in spiders

Yeah, we've already got daredevil. We don't need another blind. I'm gonna be eating spiders This rocks, can I get two McSpiders? Yeah! There it is! Got a spider! And she's just kind of there as for projecting our future That's how the future works Did you know your future hasn't happened yet? Cranberries Which is a 90s thing than an early? Absolutely, I want to see I want to see an astral projection future with Gracie as a doctor

She just does CPR goes you're good She just does CPR and goes, you're good. Walks away. She was just like, it's alright, I've seen Madame Webb. What am I doing? Who am I? Who am I doctoring? Is this doctoring? Sorry, I got bored. What's up? You okay? Am I ERing? Is this doing ERing to you?

Oh my god. Guys! This was Madame Webb. Is there an after credit scene? I don't think so. I don't know or care. We definitely didn't stay for the end of it. We should wait and find out. We should not wait. We should just skip ahead. Hang on. I don't want to wait. We have to sync it up. Let me look it up. No, I don't think we have to.

We have to sync it up. Mike Epps, rest in peace. Rest in power. No, Madame Web does not have a post credit scene Thank God even they knew they were not getting a sequel before it came out director Sj Clarkson told the Hollywood reporter that she felt the film had said everything it needed to say I feel like it could have never they never said the kids name. It could have said more Oh my god guys, thanks watching Madam Web with us if you were here live we appreciate your support patreon.com slash 100% eat patreon.com slash 100% eat slash gift is how you can give the gift of 100% eat the next time we get together I think we have to watch beekeeper wow I think we have to watch beekeeper

I think we have to do a watch along for be key Jordan hasn't seen yet. I'm not in the keeper Oh, you didn't go either. I wouldn't say this is the best way to watch a movie for the first time You'll be fine. Oh the crow is also a good option. I did we saw I don't know who boy I don't know if I can watch the crow again. I don't want to seem go crow mode I don't know who boy I don't know if I can watch the crow again. You don't want to see him go crow mode? No! Oh cool! It's the Menendez brothers! Oh no! Hang on guys guys do you have plants?

Let's go! Double feature? No, I want to see if they go watch that basketball game. Season one episode one I gotta see them. You know they're at the basketball game. You fucking know it. Guys, thanks so much for watching. If you're this on YouTube Uh, we really appreciate it. Uh Sign up for the patreon support us directly but uh be part of this stuff Hurry up and get a mcrib these fucking pictures get a mcrib. He is spider-man with the feet up the metal Oh my god, this is a mess. We had our voodoo. We had our busties

Chat, thank you so much. We really appreciate you guys. This has been great. Um, I Don't know. I don't know what else there is to say. This is crazy. Nothing say thank you for picking up the TV Say thank you. Thank you. Thank you He just likes listen to the dude he was rest in peace Dolores He just likes to listen to the crazy- Dude, he wants, Rest in Peace Dolores. Whoops. Alright, yeah, thanks for watching. Yeah, thank you guys very much.

Yeah, we'll see you next time, hopefully, for Beekeeper. And remember, your future could be so different. Yeah, we can do anything. And that's it. Guys, we'll see you next time. Bye! Bye! End stage for everyone. Click it! Yeah! And that's it. Guys, we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Kick bags.

End stage for everyone. Click it. Yeah. Click it. Click it again.