100% Eat - Marco’s the Long Way - Marco’s Pizza Ride Along

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Welcome to Marco’s. We're closed. Go somewhere else. Maybe another Marco’s. Join Our Heroes as we go to the outskirts of Hutto to get pizza. As much as this sounds like a Star Wars reference, it's not. At least these wings stink. Nooooooooo Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Real Canadian Superstore has everything you need this back-to-school season. Save on lunchbox savers like Ziggy's sliced deli-meat products for always $375. And get Life Brand Pure Vita shampoo or conditioner for $8 each. At Real Canadian Superstore, when you're ready, we're ready, with a whole world and more. Welcome to a very special ride-along. Ovens are down. Nick, the ovens are down. Yeah.

So look, there's the car. Look, there's the Marcos truck. Yeah, oh, download your app now. Marco, dude, download the app. Don't try and get a pizza. We were rolling up to the window, the front door, and the guy's like, stop, ovens are down. They're looking now to see if there's a,

where the closest Marcos is. Wow, dude, and this is Nick's pick. You might just go north. Yeah, but I can't, I, I am sorry, but I don't want to be held responsible for it. Yeah, but I'm just saying in the cosmos. Oh, I'm getting hammered. You got to, you picked it and look what happened.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying other people will say it. Do you think this will factor into the rating? We're going to Flugherville. No, I don't think it will. Not for me. I think this is going to factor into like the Nick likeability scale for something. Well, there's a Marco's Pizza off Gatty School Road. Is that allowed?

What the fuck? Marco v. Gaddies? I guess I'll start. I'll just do a takeout order and then we'll drive over there. Sure. How far is that one? It's towards Hutto. It's 15 minutes.

Oh, that's not where and all. Yeah. It's so far out. Yeah, I thought it was going to be in like, lake line this one is already so far away from Austin but you can tell just like how forced out places like this have been from Austin proper

you can tell how pleased Derek is 634 7 8 6 we're making decisions we're making moves you can tell how pleased he is we almost got into a I don't know if you heard us we almost got in a situation where like we would have double fucked ourselves because we were going to go to Marcos off of like 35 near 51st And I was like, hold on, because we drive by,

we used to drive by that all the time, coming back to the office. But I know there's a ghost kitchen place there. And we kind of both put it together at the same time, and like, no, this is not real. Oh, no. We would have walked up being like, you got pizza for us? And he's like, oh, sure, the oven's down?

The ovens don't exist. Yeah. This is the front. We order it from Marcos. This is probably their provider. It's crazy. It's like, we don't have any beans down? Their oven's down.

How the fuck is an oven down? All of them, though? This location, it's probably just like one oven. Definitely cursed, right? Yeah, never again. They have more than one oven, usually? Yeah, don't they have like two that are kind of stacked?

All ovens are down. I mean, I don't know. I assume maybe it's like a, maybe it's like a gas situation. The guy's leaf blowing like crazy. Yeah, the lights are on inside, so. Well, I don't think the oven is, yeah, I don't think it's electricity either.

Yeah, so. I guess it must have straight up, Maybe it's the heating element, yeah. Yeah, the oven could just be broken. Yeah. Not so much a utility issue. Could be caca. Could have been that guy.

Could be caca in the show. Oh, shit, I blew all these leaves into the oven and not to start. Guys, we're closed. Oh, well. Back to my passion. A earthy taste. Whoa, look at the guy. That guy's cranking.

He's fucking crank. What's that guy doing? What's crank is getting water? Is that how you have to crank when you get water? Does I have anything to do with it? Is he just fucking around? I think he's just, board. He's a fidget spinning. It's a fidget.

It looks like he's fixing it. He's got a bunch of toys. Oh, and he yanked it too. I think he might be fixing it. Dude, water's down. Water's down. The water's down. The water's down. This fire, water. What's next? What's next? Eric. Earth. He's blowing the earth over there. I bet the earth appreciates it.

Well, now he's cranking the bottom too. Look at him go. Whoa. Do you think that guy knows? He's on candid camera. No, he's got no idea. Welcome to buttercup Chevron. Yeah, it is called buttercup chevron. Buttercup chevron. Next to the liquor express too,

too. Butter cup Chevron. Bro, I'll tell you what though. One Markos to the other Markos. It's never a good case. We're Marcos hopping. But today's the day, Spider-Man brand new day, we're hopping.

I am fucking feeling good. I'm not sick. I'm well resting. I'm ready to swoop in while Eric dealt with that crisis on infinite Earth. That was crazy. I handled this back here. It did say that.

It's a 12 minutes to order's ready. I'll believe that when I see it. Someone's order. You just saw it. It'll take 15 minutes to get there. Okay, well, they're on the clock. That sounds like that's gonna line up. It does.

It sounds like it's gonna line up. Now here's the thing. When I got to the office today, I told Nick and Jordan, I've ordered the food. And then Jordan went, oh yeah, you order, is it like the right food? Yeah. How do we know we're gonna get the right food?

What part of this means I've done anything wrong? And now we've gone back here to this fucking Marcos. This Marcos who betrayed us again. We were talking about at length about how we were blown away that they replaced what we ordered with something else that was cheaper. Now, now I'm out company wise. It's 45 bucks for the order. Right. But I'm thinking if I'm just some, if I'm just some dad, I'm out 45 bucks.

They have to give me back. be dead. And now, yes, for Marcos, yeah. Yeah. I pre-paid in my lot of orders. I have to drive 15 more minutes for another $45 order without getting the first one refunded. But what about my lotto scratches? Do you think, do you can do like, like, you get there and

like put a lien on Marcos? Like, I know, it's like, you know, you should just walk in and be like, I'm not paying. I paid your brother. Yeah, exactly. I don't care. I'm taking my pizza. I paid the other one. I paid your brother. That's how this works. I paid Marcos Express 2. Damn.

I mean, it's great for this show, but I got to say. In fact, we should probably consider going back to this Marco very soon. Oh, yeah. And see what else. It's got to be the one. You get a long ride along. And you couldn't see back here when, you know, the camera being back here, like, Eric was quiet, but he was smiling.

Yeah, he heard everything. He was like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, oh. Just trying to get it in. He was just another great day. He was whispering. Hopefully we can't go to. Marco's. You were very nice to that guy. Worthless. You were very nice to that guy.

What else can you do? Why am I going to be mean to him? It says a lot about him. The way he said that. Hey, fucker. You normally, you'd like immediately slurs at that guy. But unfortunately, he was white. Yeah, blow some more leaves. Dang. Okay. I feel like that you were nice to that guy, Nick, by not saying that. But go blow some leaves. What? Like, he's putting it all. He's mean. The ovens are down. The ovens are down. Oh, yeah, sure. Also Eric insulting that guy. Yeah. Fuck you. What's in your hand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You little asshole. I wasn't even sure at first that guy worked there. I know, right? I thought it was just like a good pizza Samaritan. We did walk up and he was just like, stop, stop.

He came around the corner and he was like, uh, I don't know guys. God, guys, you're looking to unzip your dicks and twirl. Sorry. What if he's just covering up for like a heist that's happening in there right now? What are he gonna take $35? Yeah. I don't think anything, like, definition wise, I don't think,

anything taking place at Marcos can be described as a high-side situation. Okay, what about a hostage situation? I think it's just stealing $27. Are we driving through fucking downtown? Yeah, dude, I'm back then downtown. Look at the progress. Oh, you evil, evil man. Hey, what is there?

Hey, Nick, there it is. Get this on camera right here. Yeah. Ooh. Who. Fuck. Hey, iron F you. Disgusting.

This guy hates parking structure. It sure does. What the fuck. That's coming along. Where do you expect people to park their cars? Evil fucking man. In busy downtown Flugerville. Oh, hey, we're out.

We're past downtown. Are you scared because you're outside your Wiverlandhouse? Yeah, I think this might be the second time I've ever been to Flugerville. Wow, well, through downtown anyway. Yeah, make sure you get it right. What if we get to Marcos and they go, sorry, we're loaning out our ovens.

We just unplugged them. Somebody else did it. My brother needed them. Marco's Prime needed it. They get more biddeness than us. When, uh, driving them on over, you want to hop in? And we're like, yeah, we all hop in. When we walked up, I saw, I would say we strutted.

I saw that it was scribbled on the door that it was closed and a handwritten sign. But the only reason I kept going is because I saw a guy, I saw a guy walking out. And I went, oh, maybe this is like, yeah, maybe everything's like fine. He was about to take the sign. Yeah. Yeah. And then it said, guys, you're here. Oh, you made it.

You're fellas. Your pizza's been waiting. Yep. So two hours. Guys, we could have gone back to Zaxby's. Oh, that's all right. Woof. There's a Harbys.

No. This might be the only stakes. I guess this is the only Arby's now, right? Why would you say want to go to Wendy's? I figured what's another thing we could eat instead? Right, not the thing we had last week. That's why I was going to go over it again. Oh, okay.

Oh, I was just like, surely they have nothing else, right? I liked it. I mean, I liked it too. I would like it more today. I said raising gains. You did keep saying raising gains. Well, because it's right up here. Right.

I was thinking unlike Wendy's again, unlike whatever is close by. I was thinking foolishly, what could we go to that's like a new thing that would actually be good for the show? Uh-huh. That would be both? No? How would it be both? What's new at Raising Keynes? Well, it's new.

We haven't done it before. Okay. I meant like new food. Oh, I see. Like before we decide, like we get looked, you know what I mean? Like, oh, what other options are there? That's the school of thought I was under. being like 11.30 in the morning.

And everyone who started screaming restaurant names. Well, the other thing I thought was he already wrote it. Jordan said, well, where's the other Marcos? Right, that's what I said. Yeah, that, that or like, I don't know. Quiet, you fools. The hosts are talking. Maybe we just go get good food for a change.

Yeah. We can go vote. We just go to casino. Hey. Casino, my favorite, uh, my favorite taco truck just opened a brick and mortar. That's cool. Which one's that? Paprika.

Go to casino, guys, we look at the whole. Oh, on foot. Oh, on foot. Now we're talking. We can see it. It's right around the corner. That's a cold dog. You can see it from Casino.

That's Keynes, I believe. Holy shit, it was right here. Oh, that's the dog. That's the dog. And it's right across from where we vote. The type of Texas. Dude, I got five guys the other day and in a while. And it was like mid.

Yeah, it's not great. Especially for how much it costs. Yeah, but like. It's always been expensive. But like even I like five guys. It's usually not mid. I was like, I was like, I took the first bite and I went, what the fuck?

I don't think I've had it in a long time. Like, it's usually solid and it was not solid. I was kind of pissed off. Like, yeah, it is expensive as fuck. I put on toppings I don't want because whatever. Dude, I got my kids, uh, hot dogs. Oh yeah. What do you want in it? Nothing. Nothing. But like

sounds good. You want like, nope, no, no, not sounds good. This hot dog costs $25. Put something on it. No. Actually, I don't even want a bun. You want ketchup. No.

Can you simply feed me a dog? I just want a hot dog. Can you see if they'll do it? Octopus style? Don't worry. I was ordering it too. Like delivery. So it was $17.

What the fuck? I will say, though, uh... The Panera over here? Good ass milkshirt. Yeah, it's over there. Oh, really? Yeah, it was good.

I got, I got swayed. They had like, uh, like some kind of Oreo thing. Oh. I'll get sucked in. That was me in Oregon. I'll do it. It was good a shit.

I'll do it. It was like, Ooh. Can you tell of a Portillo's opening in Austin? I've heard of it, but I haven't seen any news. Did you look? Yeah. Fuck.

Damn. I try to keep an eye on that stuff when it's, when we have new things opening like that. Culver's closing really killed because it's now the only one's way way down south. Like, I forgot that one closed. The O.G. But it's Culvers. Yeah. And the only reason we go down there is like Fuddruckers, you know what I mean?

Yeah, dude. Well, and Taco Polenke. Yeah, there are close. We were kind of doing them a favor. Yeah, we definitely were. We were kind of meeting halfway. Yeah, true. Yeah.

My wife brought home Taco Blanky the other day. Oh, really? Oh, awesome. Good decision. Out of nowhere. Fideo? Did you get some of the soup? She did.

She ate a couple of some. Yeah. It's good shoot. Yeah. There's a Costco over here, yeah? Yeah. Right up here. This is the one I prefer to go to.

Yeah, this is the best one. It gets less busy and it's not a pain in the ass to get into, like the one in the arboridum. Plus it is a curate. and a Tumble 22 and an Ike's here now. I went to that, Kura. I have well. It's extremely small. It's very small.

Willie's ice house. Yeah, it's not bad. And they do have limited time stuff. Willie? What about Phil? Phil's got an ice house. Phil's got an ice house. Oh.

I like Phil. I don't know, Willie. This guy's just hanging out. Killin some nice. He's cutting some locks. Yeah. Anyone else? Yeah, I'm here.

I'm here to trim the shrewberries. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Is he got anything? You guys got ovens? Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm gonna see if they emailed me about, okay, order, got my order confirmation.

Boom, that's my second order. Sold me. It's my second order confirmation. Don't get it confused with the other one. Yeah. The one you're not gonna see the money back on. I hope we get there and they're like, oh, that order was canceled.

I hope that we get there and they go, oven's too hot. Oven's are like too well. The ovens are actually like, the zero-sum game, they have to be in balance. It's just a sweating guy going, I don't know how to turn them. It's like Marco's the one.

Yeah. He became too powerful. There's another. I am Marco. You're my bitch. So if they don't have it, there's a Marco somewhere living his best life.

If their ovens are down, where do we go next? I mean... So now I think I'm not thinking about or caring because they're not going to be and we're going to get the... I mean, I agree with Michael. There's no way.

Now, Nick is already thinking about what else he could eat. Oh, there's a talk of poli. Yeah, up here. Okay. See? Do you eat outside? Outside the show, it's gotten so bad. It's always just like, do you y'all, you want to eat that grass over there?

You want to go eat that grass? Wow, what's your brain? So nice to us. Yeah, what are your motives? Oterior. The best kind of motive. Uh-huh. What is this?

Like this is, this is your food, Nick. We're going to Marcos because you wanted it. He's like, where else can go? Yeah, where else? Well, if it's close. Fuck this place, man. No, yeah. Oh God.

Does that come in with an emergency? Oh, who said Marcos? We are getting close to being like, latitude-wise, close to Casey's. Yeah, we're getting over. 45 would have taken us all the way. You're not going there. You just got to go over. You just got to go over.

You go west. You're going to go west. You follow it west? I got a, I got a TikTok about someone going to Casey's in Liberty Hill. Yeah, there's one over there. So it was that. And then I sent it to, I sent it to Gracie. Liberty. I sent it to Gracie and I'm like, Nick keeps trying to make us eat at this gas station.

And she said, I have so many coworkers that won't stop talking about Casey's. Whoa. It's good. I don't know. It's a gas station. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad because I don't know what kind of people she works with. Yeah. Casey is not a long. You know they're opening a new Buckees in San Marcos? I heard about that. It's, it's, I think it's open now. But it's like. Buckies is a gas station. And they have good food. I'm just saying. Gas stations can't have good food. I mean, they have okay food.

It's not good. Right. I mean, like the charred with the Bucky's food is that they make so much of it. Compared to real restaurants? No, it isn't. Yeah. What are you talking about? It's a rest stop. It's food you get when you're driving.

I don't understand. Also, John Oliver put them on blast. Yeah, I mean, that was very funny. Yeah. They're very litigious. They're very litigious about stupid bullshit. They might sue us for a sauce. Give money to them.

Oh. You turn or left turn? Bush is chicken. Left turn. Left turn. Show Bush. Get chicken. That's wrong.

Oh, what a... Here's a picture of George! Is that why you guys had the door locked? You were showing Bush? Yeah. When I got to the house? And you were like, we're gonna find out. We didn't zip it up.

Whoever has the most bush orders and then you get... Mine's the thickest, but it is a beautiful triangle. Oh, good for you. It's just tall. You're doing like a little. It's like a kitten, it's like a kitten play. Doing like a Bermuda. Oh, yeah.

I was a lightning bulk, but so was Nix. Yeah. Yeah, but mine's reverse. It arcs the other way. They interlock. I believe that's a bit from sex in the city. Oh, awesome. Where, like, somebody was dating a dude who, like, shaved.

Like, it was, like, not Samantha. Maybe Samantha, but, like. Probably was. That sounds right for her. Into a lightning bolt. And then she was, like, at a sauna or something and looked over. And somebody else had the same thing. It was, like, he's cheating on me.

That's a very sex in the city plot. Yeah. See, now this is an H-E-B. I like this one. That's an HGB Plus right there. It's not near Fulgerville downtown or anything. No, I think that's fantastic. Because this is Hutto.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. We're in Hutto. Oh, I love it. Oh, I love it over here. Oh, we are in Hutto. Do you guys, I guess this is up. Oh, it passed this at the next thing. Yeah.

I thought in here and I was. Worst case in there. They don't have it. We can see what kind of food they have at the urgent care. Yeah. They probably got like a snack room. They got like 100 lolly palms.

Yeah. Oh, blue. Yeah. Don't care. Yo, we could at some point, because I don't know any other ATBs that have them. Yeah. We should hit up the food at the Mueller,

or sorry, the 54th Street one. Nick said a thing, didn't you say that HV has limited barbecue? It's a limited rib. Is that that one? Or which one? The, the, I think all of the HGB barbecue barbecue places. Any of the ones have this special barbecue?

That's what I'm saying. There's a new one. The one in Flugerville does. The one South Slaughter does. What about Hancock? Because they just like redid that one. I don't, I haven't been in it yet. So I don't know. Is it? It's definitely got a barbecue place. Is it like done? Yes. The barbecue place is open in it. Nick is nervous for me in this truck. All those, um, all those places are pretty solid. They're really good. And it's not a gas station. So that's pretty good. Well, there is a gas station there though. Bam. Yeah, but they're pretty, you know, I wins.

They put it out there. They put it away. Does it feel like Nick one? It's not like HGB is gas station first, you know. I can't lose. So yeah. Curbside pickup. That's us.

Oh, they're very grocery forward. This is kind of color parking, dude. I VAPE ATX. Oh, Michael. I, y'all, check the out. I thought we were in auto. Whoa. Zero.

Oh, you're out. Yeah. I'm gonna go get a bait. Okay. We'll stay here. Why? Why would you stay here? All right, well.

Why is it? They're staying in the, car. I'm not. I don't know. I said, I'm gonna get a bait. I'm grabbing the packs. We're tethered. I don't know, man. I'm fucking. I don't know. I'm going with Michael. Okay. Oh, thanks, man. I don't know why he wanted to stay in the car. It's a hot car with no AC. I didn't know you guys were staying in there. I didn't want to. He started saying it. He started saying it. Michael

got out because he was like, he saw the vape story. Oh, I just ran out. And then Nick goes, and we'll stay here. And I went, I'm putting my mic on the inside of my shirt so I can get out. That's exactly what I did. See, what we're forgetting, too, is we drove 15 minutes to the other Marcos and then 15 minutes further. So now we're 30 minutes back. Crazy, right?

It's going to be a long, long. Yeah, for Eric. It's pronounced E. just well in order for it's sold right man crazy all right cool thanks brother just eyeing what two liters they have just in case you never know i think we should get big red is that what we're getting new york style yeah that thing's huge yeah it is big how do they make it that big are their ovens big enough is that what broke the oven in this way what happened that must be what happened they're still they got this other one by

hot honey over here. I'll say, we're not doing that. They're constructing pizza. Well, this is a good sign. They're not back in the car. I feel like, like, these say geek bar,

but they look fake. What the hell is this? They do look fake, bro. Maybe it's just the new model. They does say geeky. I don't know, but here's the thing. If I taste this and it tastes like, shit, I wouldn't be mad.

Not at that guy, but like a geek bar. Here, look. Look at this. I mean, you're not filming, but what the hell? How are these the same thing? Okay, now I'm pulling. How are these the same thing?

How are they the same thing? This looks like a knockoff, let me tell you. But it says Geekbar. It says it. Is it in the right text? It appears to be. It's the same font. Yo, he didn't even ask for my ID.

Is that a sign of the time, Nick? It might be. I'm 39 years young, bro. Oh, it's one of these battery things. Yeah. I'm sure it was a lot of Nick going, do you got any snooze? Did you remember 2000?

It's okay. We had to get this from my friends, older brother. It's not great. No? It's not great. Is it the flavor? Is it the texture or the consistency? What's the consistency?

It's fine. I was at zero. Anything's better. Let's go check on them. Oh, yeah. Thanks, ma'am. Oh, perfect time. Look at that. Appreciate it.

Look at that works out. I'll take that. Thanks, dude. I can't believe the ovens broke. I don't know. It's crazy. Here too? No. Oh. This Markos is like heck of nice too. Here we got one pizza. Hey look they got the high honey back again. No, it isn't. Oh, having a seat on the Marco's hippo. Okay, Nick also is doing it. I'm with Jordan. I'm with Jordan. What's wrong with Jordan? No, we were with Jordan. Yeah, we were off on your own. What's wrong with Jordan? Yeah, what's wrong with him? Yeah, what's wrong with him? No, we were with Jordan. Yeah, off on your own. What's wrong with him? No, no, I got it. No, no, I'm just good.

Okay. Okay. Who pissed in his cornflakes? Hey, check it out. I got him. Whoa! Finally. There's quite an aroma coming out from that box.

Sorry guys. That's me. It stands. We only got one pizza. Is that the wings? Yeah, there's a pizza, there's a wings, and there's a cheese bread. What kind of wings did you get?

Were you worried? Because like, we didn't get the refund yet? No. Did we get two of the other one? No. This is what Nick wanted. This is Nick's order. It seems like a pretty big pizza.

This was Nick's order. I was saying we always get two pizzas. I was surprised. I said we're getting, Nick, what else do you want, Nick? I feel like our default is always two pizzas. Like, I asked him we're getting the pizzas. I was saying it, I wasn't involved and I was going, oh, curious. Him saying it's crazy.

If you're saying he gave you the order. Now he's breaking norms. I gave him the two additional things that I ordered. Right, but one pizza. I didn't say one pizza. I assumed I was going off of the base level. We always get two pizza. What are you smiling about?

I don't understand what the, what the issue is. Yeah, what's so funny. Saying he got what you told him, and you're saying, I told him these two things, this thing was already mentioned. Right, so one pizza. I didn't say one pizza. I said, are we getting the pizza? Somehow make this the episode.

Yes. No. Yeah, honestly, if it's long enough, you got the fact sheet. Yeah, we read it and then I just eat it. No, no, no, no. Eat it real quick and then we're done. That's actually a pretty good idea. It's going to be long enough.

That's kind of a, it's getting me. to think about this. Because here's a thing, too. If we save time like that, no, no, no. We did Michael Jordan podcast. We have time, I brought my 64. Hey. Oh, hey.

I like that Nick just keeps saying no, no, no. What's fun? I can say no. I can say no. We default to two. I didn't think I'd have to check two. I don't, I don't. He said, what else?

Yeah, what else? Guys, we're entering Travis. What else is giving you the out to say another pizza? We made it back. I don't understand how two pizza not default pizza. We're four people. I don't know. It's pretty big. Did you see how big the slice?

Yeah. In fact, and they're slice into six slices too. Yeah. They're big slices. So is it really? Didn't we, wasn't that what we were looking at? And that's even better. That'd be even better because then it's like. Uneven. Yeah. We'll have to cut one. Cut two and half. Oh no. What am I going to do? Yeah, you only get one place.

Marcos's pizza. I think Nick should only get one slice also. Markos is better than dominoes. I think Nick also only gets one slice of pizza. I'll kill you. Well, he only ordered one, so. Nick only ordered the one pizza. But I'm eating the rest of the other two things. Okay.

You're not because, you know, we have a show to make. That's it. Maybe we forgot what we're doing here. I can even do a show. Right. We're rating it. They're not part of the night. We're going to eat the food.

It's all part of it for our food podcast. No, no, no. I'm eating everything. I'll eat the other two things. I think the title is right along is Nick only ordered one pizza. No. You ordered it two times wrong. Nick broke the oven.

Hang on, hang on. What? If the other order isn't canceled, we swing by the other one, pick up the other order, we just doubled our food, maybe. Yeah! And then Nick gets that. Okay. He gets that whole pizza.

Monkey money. So he agreed. Nick doesn't get any of this pizza. Nope. He gets the whole other one. He gets that all to himself. Okay. I'm okay with that.

You get Nick a whole pizza. He gets the whole meal. Okay. It's weird because he said no so many times before that. I don't know. It was the no. Which to Eric. It is the way he ordered.

No. No. You see the no get thrown and it's like a curveball? Yeah. It's like wee. It will be a strike. No. It just might not be on the lane.

Right. I mean, he'll swing wide for it. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh. Is the M supposed to look like a video game controller? Because it does. I don't know.

It does, doesn't it? Like, Marcos, we play with you, bitch. You played. Tell us how we did. Not great. Hey, hey, Eric. Yeah. With a C.

Yeah, well, I had to spell it. I already told Jordan. I already told Jordan. Yeah. Well, Eric went in and said, I got an order for Eric. That's probably his number. I mumbled as like pronounced.

Hold on. What happened? Got a blur. Well, I assume it's Eric's phone number under his name. Oh. Way to go. I mean, you left it. Not you, him.

Jordan is trying to get out of the car. Wow. Tuck and roll, bitch. Wow. These wings. Can you go a little faster? They look. They look.

Can we see him? Can we see him? Let's get a look. God, they stink. Well, they'll see him. Wow. It's just so strong. Oh.

Too strong. Oh. Is that a good O? Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Did they give us any sauce to go with those? They're covered in sauce, Nick. I'm gonna guarantee you there's no sauce cup.

I also guarantee you we have sauce at home. Yeah, we do. Those look like it. Okay, well there's one thing of ranch, but I assume it's for this, but whatever. We got one ranch cup. Yeah, we did it. That looks fine.

Boy, I'll tell you what. Tell me. Those wings. Or I'll tell you. They look delicious. So good. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait.

Ooh, boys, I hope you're hungry. I hope you brought your appetite. I take it back. I'll just eat the one slice of pizza. I don't yet. I can't wait to see them, George. Deluxe. What Nick's going to eat all of these?

Wow. Oh, man. How you doing, Jordan? Good. The smell's getting a little too strong. Wow, you want to hold it? Making me a hand of ashes. No, because if I hold it, I might look at it.

I don't want to look at it. Yeah, you don't want to look at it. You don't want to look at it later. At no point do you want to look at it. This is gonna be a close your eyes and eat scenario. Oh, brother. Do you think, now, do you think they would have been better from the first Marcus?

Not at all. No. I'm not saying they're bad. I'm just saying they look interesting. These are just Markov style. They're boneless, right? They look like, dude. They're boneless?

I hope they're boneless. Yes. I thought I ordered by then. Brother, brother, if these have bones in them, I'd love to ask them how. I mean, it's right. forsaken the egg. It's filled with like fish bones.

Yeah. We put the bones back. There's bones in this? We put the fish bones back in. What? The bone of what? Yeah. Ant bone?

Yeah. Oh. Okay. You're painting a picture. Oh boy. I'm getting an image. I'm just saying the it's, it's going to be weird when they smell that strong and they are so small. These wings wish they were half the size of that popcorn chicken we had.

Oh no. What the fuck? What did they give us? What? The world. Maybe we'll pass by that car that was on fire. We're gonna pass by the other windows. I'd say there's a lot of disabled vehicles on the side of the road.

Yeah, I had a blow out on 131. Oh. Recently or? 10 years ago. Okay, so no. I see a lot of cars on the side of the road today. But let me tell you about the time. Yeah.

Well, I'm just saying. I had a blowout. Were your tires okay? Tires. I shit my pants. Blow a hole. I, I. Big wide hole in my pants.

The car was totaled. Dude, dude, I, it's supposed to slip by me. I only played the game once. I'm replaying RE9. Yeah. Someone with the second time. Like, Alfred and I streamed it when first came out. There's a guy at some point, like a zombie type guy.

I don't remember if he's a man and dies in a zombie or is like a zombie and he just kind of dies. It's like semi-scripted, you know, it's like everything's happening. And he shits his pants. Oh, really? Really? He just falls on the ground and just shits himself. Oh, what is that? Yeah.

Is that at like the beginning? Is that with Grace or with Leo? I think it's with Grace. Okay. I think it's with Grace. It's in the first half, first quarter maybe, but the guy just shits himself. Like Johnny from the Middle Gear Solid.

It's awesome. It's not like Johnny. Johnny's like really like holding it in. Yeah, Johnny's, he's really hamming it up. Yeah. Oh, there's the, oh, this is the remnants of the house. Wow. Wow, it burned all the way to Ash.

Holy shell. That's what. That's where you had that thing? Rust in peace car? No, that was me. That was like 10 years ago. Yeah. It's still there.

I lost the life that day. Oh, how was the vape shop? It was, the shop was great. The vape by God is, eh. It looks like a, I got a geek bar. There's like a million billion, trillion options in there. There was like 17 different varieties that said geek bar. But none of them looked like the legitimate brand.

Oh. And I got it. And it seems like a knockoff. This one says geek bar. Yeah. And so I was a little like, how. How's it feel though? Give it a big fit.

Yeah, this might not be the right thing and it might make me sick. Yeah, can you just like crank on it? I'm gonna tell you that I had a hesitation. I didn't want to. Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's fine. I was pure pressure.

But I'm just saying that's how I can tell the level of knockoff, where I went, here you got, I steal myself before I did it. Yeah, yeah. You don't seem to be swimming like normal. It tastes like when they first did the NoChina thing. Oh, yeah. No more geek bars and they had to scramble.

It tastes like that. Like, I'll tell you this, I'm gonna buy another one on the way home. Yeah. And this will be a backup. What's the, what's the flavor? Blue Raz. Okay. But it's like ambivalent.

It's just sort of like. It's a little weaker. Yeah, it's like, it's, you know what? It goes well with the Marco's Pizza. It's like in season two of the wire where like the product they're getting from Atlanta is not as good as the stuff they're getting from New York. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And the sandwich that chain made wasn't even a good sandwich.

No. What was it? I mean, I, dude. I went all in on at-home sandwiching this weekend. Ooh. You know, when I go shopping in AGB, I'll do the fresh rolls. You know, you gotta use them fast. Yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah. So I only get a couple. The bread, packaged bread, that lasts two months. Last forever. Fill it with preservatives. Hell yeah. But fresh rolls only a couple days, so I usually don't get that many. But I did the fix-ins.

Iris is big on salami sandwiches as well. Oh, hell yeah. I'll make them together. I'll always every time every time I was like I'll be like I'm making a sandwich you all one no the second I fucking I'm done making my sandwich and I'm gonna yeah I'll like one yeah now I want one and I'm like god damn it yeah my kid does that it's still not as bad as like cooking right as it's like cleaning stuff but it's like I'm very meticulous as I get as I'm making it okay yeah but everything away and she's like no I want one um and then she's like oh it

same size as you'm like you're not gonna eat this kid because I ate it you're not yeah um but I don't do it home is the oil and vinegar. That's like the most next level. Because they got a bit of a blend, right? It's not like a thing. And they sell, they sell like oil vinegar blends at the store. But it's like premixed. It doesn't work.

I went full blown red wine vinegar. Oh, like you did it. I bought, I bought barbecue squeeze bottles. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're way too big. They're tall. But I went, but the other alternative was like minis. It was in the condiment aisle.

They was like, it was like, what is this? This is a joke? And they were like this big, they're like 1.5 ounces. And I'm like, that's not enough. So I bought it. I googled it, I did my best to research it. It's just red wine vinegar, which definitely isn't right. It's not just red wine vinegar at the sandwich shop.

I don't know what else it is. But with the oil, it's a 90, with the best I could find, it's a 90% canola, 10% olive oil. Oh, interesting. So I bought both. I didn't know that either. What I, with the selling point, for me and the reason I did it with is you can both leave them on the shelf.

Yeah. Yeah. So I did it. And so now on my shelf, or in my kitchen, I have these two giant ass bottles with oil and vinegar on it. Nice. I'm from New Jersey. I was going to say, you're really like, hey, you're home again. Move over Jersey mics.

I had a, I had an onion in my house because I made barreds the other day. I don't buy an onion for sandwiches. Sure. But I had it. Oh, did you go? Dude, I did a fucking fresh roll. And it's still from the deli. You go to HGB.

They got the pre-cuts so you don't have to wait in line at the deli. You know, it's like they just cut a bunch of shit and throw it in. My problem with that is you don't get to pick the weight. It's ballpark, which is fine. But it's the slice. Yeah, the thickness. Yeah, the slice of the life. It's just like a standard.

It's like a two or three, which is crazy. I get everything in one. Yeah, that's thick. I get everything one. Yeah. Right? So I was like, fuck it. I'm a waiting in line, too.

So I got. I got my salami and cheese sliced one. Got my fresh roll, chopped up an onion, lettuce, and my oil and vinegar. I was sitting pretty. I was eating my sandwich. I was doing a little dance. I was doing a little Johnny dance. Shit my pants.

There's going to be some shit pants after these probably boneless wings. But I'm with Jordan. We walk in. Read the facts real quick. Hit the U. Review. This fucking food, and we're done. We have been on the road for an hour, but that's the show.

We have been on the road for an hour. Yeah, we left the house an hour ago. This could be an actual episode. Brutal. We had ups and downs, twists and turns. Crazy. These long ass ride-alongs are really pushing it, man. We had bush talk, and I feel like we can squeeze in some twisted nipples.

If we play her cards right? And we want to get some perps nirps? Go. Go, go, go, go! Go! Thought if I yelled to do it. And then Jordan and I would be on the side. Yeah. Would have been screwed.

You guys wouldn't have had to do the episode. And Nick would get all the pizza. Oh, yeah, and then Nick would get all the pizza. It's true. Oh, wow. Well, no, because it's sitting in Michael's lap. Oh, wow. I wish. I wish you guys.

No, no, no. I was worried about you guys. I can tell it's everything we just said and the knockoff vape. I'm glad we're back. because the car sickness is just, it's so long to be in the fucking car. It's a long time to be in the car and a long time to be around these smells. Yeah, it's, and it stinks. You want all them?

We're almost there. Pull the brakes, front the brakes. Okay, gun it. She had the right turn signal on and I'm like, oh, I'm safe. And then I went, no, I'm not. Yeah, never safe. Never take it. Dude, sometimes a turn signal is more dangerous.

Yeah, right? I feel like I'm being lured into a false sense of security. Or are they gonna be like, no, I'm turning down there. I don't, I don't believe you. When you go out on a turn signal. Every time. You're going to turn at this turn or turn at all. Yep, totally a trap.

That guy was driving for seven minutes with that turn signal on. Oh, is it on? I noticed. Oh. Now. I'm actually turning the other way. This would be like the true twist if I tripped and dropped this. If I tripped and a pizza fell out on the grass.

Yeah, that would. Got to go to a third mark out. Yeah, not really sure what we would do after that. What I wouldn't is, I would keep rolling, get back in the car. And this would be the episode. car i would eat it off the fucking ground i would say jordan give me the power of double raving today let's go get a look at it off the fucking ground you're gonna be so excited to see these wings i'm excited i can't wait to see him dude i wish i felt this good every day was it sleep yeah

sleep oh well until about six seconds ago we got some assassins creed you know it oh the movie all right jordan never saw it all right jordan let's have a look first get a loaded on this. Oh boy. This is the cheese bread? Yeah? These are orange. That is orange.

Bone in? Did you get bone in? What the fuck sauce did you get? Did you get bone in? Buffalo. I thought I got bone in. I guess I got bono. No, no, no.

This is burflow. This is actually a burflip. But. But. But. But. We haven't looked at this yet. Whoa.

Six slices. See how big it is? We'll get this one. Yeah. Look at that one. All right, I'll take that one. Yeah. Nick can have that one.

Which one? The big one. The hunker. The quarter of a pizza. Why would he get that? Because I get one. I don't want him happy. I'm always.

Oh. Anyway. Well, I guess let's dig in and see if this Excel pizza is worth it. Hey, you know what? Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, tuck in. Yeah, I'll put it in your bush. It's the smell. I don't want to be near it.

I don't want to be near you when you eat it. I got to let my car sink this world. Hey, they're almost cooked all the way through. Whoa. Check this on chicken. No! Oh, cool. Okay, bye.

Okay, bye. Here, do the thing.