100% Eat - McDonald's Bacon BBQ Burger & Snickerdoodle McFlurry

Episode Date: January 7, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review McDonald's Bacon BBQ Burger & Snickerdoodle McFlurry so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about memories, Michael's McDonald's jacket, and do their first ever one bite snack attack review. Sponsored by DoorDash. Download the DoorDash app and use code FACEJAM for $5 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earn the points. Share the journey. With the TD Aeroplan Visa Infinite Card, earn up to 50,000 Aeroplan points. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 3rd, 2024. Visit tdaeroplan.com for details. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. Thanks to DoorDash for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? I'm loving it. Guess what we're eating today.

What? Guess. Yeah, it's McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Right. That's right. I don't know what their slogan is right now. It should be loving it forever. Still, I'm loving it. No, it's not.

Really? That was like two slogans ago. Man. People just keep saying it. I figured that's it, man. I figured they stuck with it because it was so iconic. You should. I think they have exclusivity rights where it's like, gotta change it. Somebody else bought I'm loving it now, so we gotta cycle it out. They change like every 10

years. I was thinking that because it used to be like, did somebody say McDonald's? I must have missed that one. I remember when I was a kid, I remember put a smile on. Oh, yeah. That one was after. That was when Ronald was out there with his fingers were everywhere. Yeah. It was always kids running around him screaming in terror.

Then they ADR'd it to make it screams of joy. Someone decided somewhere, we gotta get this guy out of here, but like, not How do we phase them out? We phase them out, but we just do it quietly like, leave his face on the charity box or something

like, no, he's still here but like, he's back there. You know what I mean mean do you remember the uh the ronald mcdonald benches yeah at the play places with the big thing sitting there yeah he would like you could sit next to him with his arm around you um what i like the audience would never know this i don't know if i've ever said this before but you know i read the copy this morning and i read it today uh eric had a gun to my head so that's why i got it perfect first try but um the line is where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it i

always add you probably do yeah it's in here it's never in there i just say it every time so today eric just put it in so now it's in there yeah i think it's great i think they do need it that was a thought i had in my head the first episode and I was like I'm saying that every time. Well, since it was in here I was expecting you to not say it despite Eric. I'm not that clever. When he agrees with me, I'm not going to spite him. It's true. I did notice

that Eric left out the word good co-host. Oh, interesting. Yeah, alongside my good co-host. Sometimes, you know, you need little ego boost, but whatever. That's your ego boost? It really worked. That's a low bar. It worked last time.

I felt really good last time. Oh, was it in there last time? It wasn't written, but you said it. Oh, okay. See what happens when you give them little pieces, little crumbs? Give me the crumbs. Give me the crumbs. He was feasting on that crumb for two weeks.

Like a grackle. That made my Christmas. You're like a compliments grackle. Pick them up off the ground. Like french fries. This one says nice hair. Pick, pick, pick. They're birds.

Yeah, grackles are awesome birds. I didn't have them on the east coast. I didn't have them on the East Coast. We didn't have them on the West Coast. That sounds like a Pokemon. And they look kind of like if a raptor was a bird. They look pretty ugly and they make like an awful noise. They sound like old motorized cameras. Like when you take the picture and then it goes...

That was absolutely a pokemon noise you just i told you a compliment to crackle today we're reviewing the mcdonald's barbecue bacon burger bacon cheeseburger i believe and the snickerdoodle mcflurry people call things burgers it's just i it's true with cheese burger with cheese i've said before why why does a hamburger even exist because i would never eat one without cheese it's true i why does a cheese burger cost extra it's all part of it's all part of the semantics i mean does the cheeseburger cost extra or do they just knock a couple cents off for a hamburger right because that's where that's

where it starts for me that That's some like Applebee's level. I'm just saying. I would never think, do I want to spend extra for the cheese? So the cheeseburger's the baseline and the hamburger's the cheaper option. I like that. That's a way better way of thinking. It's like when you get the new

Toyota Corolla or whatever with the standard options and then you can get it with like hand windows and roll windows for like you get a tape $2,000 less that's the hamburger right yeah that's the hamburger i've said before hamburger corolla previously on the chicken podcast i've said before like i like cheese chicken any of them. But I can make do. It's fine. I will not eat a hamburger. That's crazy.

It's just cheese. It's not going to kill you. Unless you're allergic to cheese. You have to take a lactate or whatever. Halfway through my McFlurry it was eating it and then going uh oh. I announced oh no. I looked down and went oh no. And you down and went, oh, no.

And you'd already eaten the cheeseburger. Yeah, but that's like a single slice. That's not going to kill me. A cup of milk will destroy me. That's like if I have queso here. That's a death sentence. I have thoughts about McFlurries in general. And one of them is that I'm not sure that it's actual ice cream.

We'll get to that okay i like what a tease yeah yeah wow stay tuned so we're just to start scrubbing you got that 30 second button you can fire you're what six minutes in probably around 24 minutes let us know when you get there to plug other people's work i've been listening a lot to like other podcasts and i've been listening to like the conan o'brien podcast which is really conan o'brien needs a friend yeah it's really funny um but like i've never really listened to podcasts so i have the podcast app for um iphone and you know if you're if you're using like the app and you have it up it's got like i think it's a 30 second fast forward and like a 15 second rewind i can't fathom how anyone in the history

of the world can complain about ads because it's like it takes four seconds to get past if not less it's like skip still going skip still going skip oh i missed it back 15 seconds now you don't go back it's unbelievable because i plug my phone into my car and i have a screen so it's like i just tap the screen and it's like because some shows conan doesn't really do it but some shows are like tv some podcasts are like 40 minute podcasts and there's seven commercials i I'm like, this is crazy. It's also like doing this. It makes me angry, because if we'll do

a three-hour show and have two ad reads, people lose their minds. I'm like, this show's 40 minutes, and 15 minutes are ads! And the world keeps spinning! But I'm just like, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. Speaking of ads, you're wearing a very... You know what I mean? You like my jacket? A very cool jacket. Yeah! So, skip, skip. Speaking of ads, you're wearing a very... What do you mean?

You like my jacket? A very cool jacket. Yeah. It's my denim jacket. Quotes around the word cool. I don't think so. I'm loving it. I have a McDonald's jacket with a couple of... A couple?

A couple of patches on it. There's some slight promotional materials on it slight yeah there are some like i'll i'll call them clip art versions of mcdonald's uh products you got you got fries a little thing of fries you got uh that looks like a big mac on your hip there that just says classic mcdonald's it's a square uh there's the golden arches on the front there. My favorite is the Filet-O-Fish. That is a Filet-O-Fish. Why is there a Filet-O-Fish on there?

Because people like fish. I don't know. I don't eat it, but a lot of people do. Is there anything on the back? I think there's some chicken nuggets on the back. Oh, M's and chicken nuggets. There you go. But they're all the same shape. That's not fun. That doesn't harken to McDonald's lore lore maybe we'll learn more about those shapes later in the facts section i've mentioned this elsewhere but uh i

won't get into that because it'll turn people off i wore this jacket once uh i'm an avid mcdonald's eater and through the power of social media and the stupid job we have inevitably long story short i ended up with this jacket from mcdonald's like corporate it was some sort of uh not even like promotional thing i don't even understand you're an influencer i'm not gonna say that um but they didn't influence my decision uh they influenced me i'll be honest uh to eat their food um but i got it and i wore it to a mcdonald's once and when i'd been going to a lot and i There was a worker there who I've seen a lot. The first time I wore this jacket there, it was drive-thru.

They gave me a discount. Is that the key? I was like, is the jacket a discount? Or do they think I work here? Because who else would ever wear this? It happened like that same person has done it like 20 times. Now I'm too far in to tell them like,

you know, I just, somebody just sent me this jacket. Like, uh, so now I'm just like, you should have had you buy the food today. I'm just saying,

I did wear this in the McDonald's. Yeah. I didn't know there was a discount section that we could have gotten. I don't know that there is. Okay. It just happened and it caught me off guard in the moment. And now I figured, well,

once I drove away, I was like, well, I can never mention that. Is there a name for McDonald's fanatics? Not that I know of. I just call them people with good taste. They don't call them like McFans or something? Call me whatever you want. That's a shirt. That's a shirt.

That's a shirt. Jordan had the appropriate reaction of dead silence. And you guys laughed for some reason. And that made me laugh. I miss this. I'll be honest. We're at the end of the year here. It's the time of recording this.

It's the new year, if you're listening to this. Happy New Year. Yeah. But, you know, know i went back home spent some time with my family you know my kids christmas hated it now i'm back got to eat mcdonald's this is real i'm ready to go yeah exactly finally something for me you know so i'm in a good mood i disagree i went to disney world for a week and didn't think about Face Jam once. I mean, you know, that is probably unsurprising. Certainly not surprising. Just wanted to make sure I was on brand. You've done it.

That's it. Once again, without trying, you've done it. Jordan, do you have any past experience with McDonald's? I mean, what... When's the last time you had McDonald's? What young American growing up hasn't gone to McDonald's? It's a more... It's a cultural staple of our society. I would say odds lean on it's more surprising if you haven't been in some capacity.

A lot of people don't eat it, but to never have been there, that's shocking. I don't think I've ever met someone who has never gone to McDonald's. A lot of people wear that with a badge of honor. We're like, I don't go to McDonald's. And I just think, okay, cool. And then you pull out your jacket and you're like, oh, yeah, me neither. You flip your card and go, what's it like to suck? I would say the last time I went to a McDonald's, McDonald's, I usually just go to on road trips because they're everywhere.

Yeah. And like, they're great for breakfast, really good on road trip. I actually liked the breakfast more than their actual food. Uh, I don't get that. That's also food.

I say, no breakfast is actual food as well. That's real food. Uh, that's, breakfast is actual food as well. That's real food. Uh, that's a hundred percent eat versus I would rate, I would rate McDonald's regular menu, like in the 60 to 75% eat section. I don't like their hamburger.

So I usually just get like the chicken selects or something. Um, or the McNuggets. I've been feeling like a kid. Crispy, classic crispy. Yeah. Nothing wrong with those.

Those are disgusting cold. They're just soggy. Good to know. Yeah, you gotta eat those immediately. Oh, I'm trying to like microwave them or something? I mean, just even like most of the burgers, if you leave it out for like an hour, so you get an extra one, and then like 40 minutes later, you're like, oh, I can suck down that next one. You're speaking from

experience, clearly, but you're also framing it in a way that everyone does this, and I want, clearly, but you're also framing it in a way that everyone does this. And I want you to know that. I'm framing it in a way that anyone could do this, and they might. And if the past is anything to, I don't know, suggest, most of the listeners have done this. And you are the odd man out. Okay?

So, you know, the next time, listeners, you have that burger sitting out and you suck it down later, it's not great, but it's okay. Nuggets, an hour later, awful. Terrible. Just throw them out. This is turning into a McHead podcast, McFan podcast. You're turning into that.

I'm not even saying Mc. You keep saying it. I want to say that if you've reheated the nuggets like that before, tweet at us at FaceJamPod and let us know. Or do it and let us know how it turned out. Yeah. Because I have a picture of it in my head. Oh, awful. And it doesn't look great. Use hashtag

nugget heaters. You can't reheat anything. Nugget heaters. You can't. You can't put anything in the refrigerator. You get it and then you either eat it like it is or you throw it away. There's no saving it. There are certain things I get at McDonald's that just like

kind of bring back nostalgia for me like high c uh with like breakfast food at mcdonald's just reminds me of like being a kid again and uh back when i lived in southern california used to go out to the desert uh and ride motorcycles and there was a mcdonald's on the way we'd have to get up at like 5 a.m to get there and so we ate so we ate McDonald's there and I would always get like the pancakes and the hash browns and the high C. Takes me back. That's my only good memory of McDonald's. Sometimes if I'm in a McDonald's like

today, you know, we went out to where the play place would have been. I don't think they have play places anymore. Yeah, we need to talk about how McDonald's is totally different. They've either wiped them all out or they're like, you know, they're dying off and now it's just like this little outdoor dining area.

A patio that no one uses? It's like a patio. But we were standing there today and I was thinking like, this is like my childhood if somebody touched me. What does that mean? I was just implying I was molested

at a McDonald's play place. And they got it. I thought I was molested at a McDonald's play place. And they got it. I thought you got molested on a patio. Well, now it's a patio. You know what I mean? So it's a metaphor for how your simple childhood is now gone. I'm just like, you know, I was giving Eric looks. Things change.

He didn't bite. So I wanted to feel like a kid again. I'm not sure this is going to make it in. That's what you think. Why not? You don't know. Depends how long this episode is. Yep.

We'll let it for time As of now it's staying in We got all the time in the world How big has How big of a role has McDonald's played in your life I wouldn't say they played a role in any way I'm not sculpted or crafted by McDonald's I spent a lot of time there

It's just really funny to hear you say that as you wear this jacket Yeah it's a good jacket though Obviously I wore it for a good jacket though. Obviously I wore it for a bit, Jordan. I knew we were going to McDonald's. He left. Eric just left. He got a phone call and he left. I think it's the police. That was Ronald. It's like,

I hear what you're saying. Where's that kid? Bring him back to my place. Yeah, I'm on the patio where are you guys I missed you that was an hour ago he came back he brought a box did we get

did we get something did we get snacks it just happened oh man so we will have our first snack oh that's awesome before we started

before we started so this is a thing if you listen I think we mentioned in the last two episodes that Eric wants to do a bit at the end where we just somebody people can send us snacks

And we take one bite quick. This is what I rate the snack and move on so right before we started recording I'd looked at Eric, and I said oh, this is actually before we went to get McDonald's and I said Either like did we get snacks or like oh are we doing snacks? Are we getting snacks? And he looked at me with such confusion and disgust. And I was like, your idea. What are you looking at? What?

And he was like, I thought you were asking if we could have snacks at McDonald's. I can understand the confusion. Oh man. But we have stuff. So today we will have the first, our first ever snack review. That's awesome.

I got the notification like right now. That's not at all who I thought called you. I can't wait to listen to this later and find out who it was. It'll be good. Let's blow through the rest of the show so we can eat more. I need to digest.

McDonald's facts. There we go. Let's do it. If you live in the US you are never more than 115 miles from McDonald's that seems low what do you mean oh I mean

high I think we're thinking the same thing yeah I would expect that number to be lower yeah I bet like one place fucked that up

right yeah it's like Wyoming like it's probably you're never more than 30 miles from a McDonald's and one asshole place. We don't have them around here. You take out one state and the number goes down to three.

Four. Yeah, four miles. I read that and went, hmm. We didn't even go to the closest McDonald's we could have. We went to a- We wanted to go to a quote unquote nice one. Yeah, we were looking at which ones to go to. And I said, pick a nice one.

I gotta say, the one we went to was pretty nice. It was pretty nice. You said something, you were like, I've been doing McDonald's in a while. This is what they're doing now? Yeah. They've been fixing up the place. Yeah. It was very loungy. Everybody's doing it. KFC did it. They didn't have as much propaganda as KFC. Yeah.

It was pretty much just like a restaurant. Yeah, if I'm comparing the two, McDonald's definitely fits my style a little bit more than what KFC's trying to do. In Japan, Ronald McDonald's name is Donald McRonald because of the difficulty in pronouncing Ronald. This is a fact. I had to verify it with a lot of different websites, so you just didn't read racism to everyone donald mcdonald is that the first time eric's spoken directly to me calm down he's like calming you down calm down Michael. You didn't just read racism to everyone. It's okay. I mean, yeah, that makes sense. And you don't lose anything by changing his name to Donald McDonald.

You lose the R. You don't lose the impact of the character's name. It's still stupid. I don't know. It's stupid, but having two Donalds is just bizarre. It's McDonald McDonald. It's bizarre. If someone went, I'm Donald McDonald, I would go, why? What happened?

Do you have a middle name you can go by? No, my parents had a stroke and they were naming me Donald McDonald. Now my parents are Japanese. Traditional Japanese name. It's actually, in Japan, it's McDonald Donald. Very good, Michael.

The McNugget shapes have names. Bell, Ball, Bone, and Boot are what I call what me and your mother did last night. Dice, man. Good facts. Are you giving yourself props now in the middle of these facts? Eric. Are you using the fact sheet

to like hone in your comedy routine? Those are the four shapes. Are you working on your tight five? I mean, he's killing. the four shapes. Are you working on your tight five? I mean, he's killing. Those are the four shapes. Bell, ball, bone, and boot.

I didn't learn that till ways into my life that there were not only like, I don't know, I guess I never, they're shapes, but they're not so like, I don't know, look, it's this thing. They're just, they're like so like I don't know look it's this thing yeah they're just they're like blobs

but what they're nugget blobs why are they four different blobs I don't know why they're four different why do they have to be four I don't know why they all have to be B B names I don't understand that someone's like we gotta push B if they all have to be B I don't understand it but I remember when I discovered this I'm pointing out and they're like yeah

man it's the ball boot whatever. And I was like, okay. Okay. I just eat them. Turn around again. Let me look at the McNuggets on your back. I think those are all definitely...

What would you have to say those are? I think those are all bone shaped. Yeah, I'm going to go with bone. Yeah, those are bone nuggets. That's also interesting too for a nugget. Who the hell wants to eat a nugget shaped like a bone? Who wants to eat like a boot? Why ball shaped? I don't know.

Even boot I understand more because it's like, hey, it's a fun shape, but a bone is a thing in food that you don't eat. Just make them dinosaur shaped. Just make them all fucking round and move on with your life. Yeah, exactly. Who cares? Hang on. Oh, hang on. Just make them all fucking round. Who cares? Hang on. Oh, hang on. No, I want that shape.

Oh, the boots the best. Sorry. This one tastes the best. Sorry, I don't eat balls. Get away from me. It's like those people who don't eat like the green Skittles. They just like sort them out. I only I sort out all the ball shaped nuggets. Anybody want my balls?

Anybody want them? They're still hot. Put them in the ball-shaped McNuggets. Anybody want my balls? Anybody want them? They're still hot. Put them in the ball pit. Okay. The top 10 busiest McDonald's restaurants are all in Hong Kong. Probably not right now, though. I mean, I don't know. I couldn't verify, but they seem busy.

I don't even know what that means. Hong Kong seems like they're going through a lot. What do you mean you don't know what that means? Yeah, but I don't understand why wouldn't McDonald's be busy? Those protesters got to stay fed. At McDonald's? I mean, wherever.

It's the easiest place. It's quick, it's fast. They put their sign down, they run in real quick, they come back out, throw in tear gas at the police and you're like, I want a bell and a boot.

Yeah, dude. Yeah. You think they're going to sit down restaurants? I think they're bringing sandwiches. That must be it. I guess I didn't know that I understood what you were saying. I just disagree with it. I think they're absolutely busy right now.

Yeah. I think they're even more busy. There's probably like mcdonald's workers out there with the masks yeah yeah selling them oh yeah there you go like at sports venues yeah like you know it's like like at whataburger too at some whataburgers they do like the lane b yeah it's not in the building and they just send some poor soul out there with an ipad and they take your order from the window and they put it in the ipad then they gotta walk back in then they gotta you gotta pay them so then in. Then you got to pay them.

So then these sick fucks, people will pay them in cash. So they're like taking your money. And they got to go back inside and get your change. What the fuck? I don't know about this. Never go to lane B. Wow. You go to Whataburger and it's like, man, there's five cars in lane A and only one car in lane B.

That's because people know. That's because lane B takes seven times longer because like crazy fuckers it's still a line they've redistributed the line yeah it's just go over there and wait even longer you feel like you're getting faster service but you're certainly not but McDonald's could be doing that and just running out through the gas and they're like I have an iPad

do you want boots dodging riot police how busy do you think the top 10 busy probably absolutely insane like just mobs of people i'm shocked that the mcdonald's that i went to as a kid wasn't on here because there were times i walked into that place and i was just like like death is more of a release than this i think i've seen pictures where it's like eight or nine lanes of like lines and people like yeah they do the thing where it's like you take your order of like lines and people like yeah they do the thing where it's like you take your order and pay there and then you go up to the counter kind of like a quick

service restaurant or something and uh and it's just like mobs of people dude go to a mcdonald's like in times square it's insanity it's absolute insanity why i can't imagine why go to times square because it's just easy and cheap ish depending on what you get and it's absolute insanity why i can't imagine why go to time square because it's just easy and cheap ish depending on what you get and it's convenient people a lot of people don't give a shit about what they're about to eat they just want to shove it in their mouth and move on what are you saying yeah it's crazy i've been there and it's just like fuck dude and in time square specifically there's always like homeless people outside the door and you got to walk around them to get inside. And it's just like fucking teenagers everywhere.

And you're just like, it's like a sea of people. It's like a cafeteria room. You're like, everything about that. Hong Kong has to be fucking insane. Everything about what you described from the McDonald's to the homeless people to the crowds of people is all my anxiety. Yeah.

We should take a trip. We should take a trip. We should take a trip. Let's see how long it takes for me to pass out. I was going to say hyperventilate. That'll be the only video portion of the show is watch Jordan have a panic attack in real time. We don't even get to order. I was in

Paris recently and I went to McDonald's there, which was the goal. I had to go to McDonald's. I was there for work. And they had, it was like only the screens. You couldn't order at the counter. And they basically had a security guard. Was it in French?

The whole thing? You could pick the language. It started in French. And I was like, oh, I screamed until I saw the American flag and then I just pushed it. And then it became a language. And it's 1776. That's how this country was formed. Again, with Francis' help.

There's a dude standing there. Again, because the one I was at, I guess, had a lot of kids and shit. But there was basically a bodyguard there telling you to hurry the fuck up if you took too long on the menu. Because we were filming something and we were fucking around like fucking around and he's like hurry up hurry up he started screaming in was there a line behind you uh yeah oh yeah then i can see why yeah there was i mean you know we were taking an attitude no no longer than people customizing their food okay this is a conversation we had earlier we'll go back around to it. Here's the next fact, by the way. I'm not talking about myself. When I was four, I got a Mario

3 toy in a Happy Meal, then went home, and to get on my street, got hit by a car. He was okay, but I remember nobody cared about my spring-loaded raccoon Mario. I couldn't find any more good facts, so that's a pretty good fact.

That sounds like a great toy. It was very cool. You push him down and then he goes, I would have cared. Thank you. I don't know that kid. Everyone was just gathered around this kid on the ground and I was like, but look.

Did you know the kid? Yeah, his name was Ryan. You go through the crowd and he's laying on the ground and you're like, check this out, on his body. You guys are never going to believe this out. On his like body. Yeah. You guys are never going to believe this thing. He's a raccoon. Was he a liked kid or?

Yeah. He was an older brother of a friend. So it was like, you know. Were you a liked kid? Yeah. I had the raccoon Mario. What the fuck is with this guy? Yeah.

Well, you just got it. So maybe you didn't have time to like redeem yourself and i feel like this is a me thing but like i'm i'm impressed you can remember something when you were four yeah my oldest memory is like 18 i don't remember anything dude it's i think about it and i go you might be sick right i think like i think you've eaten too much i don't have alzheimer's are you sure i feel like i should remember like people talk about oh yeah in second grade i did this and i go i went to second grade pretty are you sure like i know that happened i remember not wanting to go i couldn't tell you a single thing out of 365 days what was your teacher's name? No idea

Second grade, I mean if I really strained I could probably come up with it. Miss Morales. Miss Poirier. Your teacher was a horse, okay. I'm just you know I know my kindergarteners name. I'm pretty sure I know my first grade teacher's name. I got my fourth and my fifth. Second and third. This is the only time it should be a video podcast. Watching Michael struggle like this, it's like so intense. I've accepted this.

So you can't remember second and third. Is that about the time you went to the McDonald's play place? I was going, no, those I remember fondly. If the other part got cut out This part stayed in There have been numerous times in this episode Where I've just been like I don't know how to react to that I was 16 when I went to the play place

Gotcha I remember I just got off my first shift At the ShopRite Went in for some McDonald's. So here's what McDonald's has to say to justify the existence. This is your favorite part. Yeah. Is if there's a PR person in here.

Oh, there is one. Let's see what we get. I scanned down and I saw a name. I see a lot of asterisks. Let's see what we... Okay. Here's the spiel on the barbecue bacon burger. Our barbecue bacon burger is an easy, delicious dinner

and a great way to savor the season. There you go. Savor the winter? Yeah, Merry Christmas. Yeah, I don't get that. The barbecue burger is made with a quarter pound asterisk of 100% fresh beef double asterisk that's hot, deliciously juicy, and cooked when you order,

topped with applewood smoked bacon, bourbon barbecue sauce, and crispy fried onion strings. Served on an artisan roll. Asterisk one. Weight before cooking. Four ounces. What? That's fair. It's a quarter pound before cooking.

Okay. When you cook it and then like the grease and shit oozes out, it's not a quarter pound anymore. Ah. Second asterisk. Fresh beef available at most restaurants in contiguous U.S. Not available in Alaska, Hawaii, and U.S. territories. Get fucked. So don't eat fucking McDonald's in Hawaii. I mean, eat it. It just won't be fresh.

But also, you say... But also, don't eat it. Yeah, but you say don't eat it or it's not fresh. They started that fresh thing, like, last year. I'm serious. Gross. Because it's the quarter pounder burger. Hence, it's a quarter pound. That's the only fresh Big Mac. Not fresh.

Still isn't. Still frozen. This is the kind of stuff. They came out and they're like, hey, guys, listen. Apparently, you've been harping on about not eating frozen burgers for the last 30 years. The quarter pounder isn't frozen anymore. And people are like, what about the other burgers? And they're like, the quarter pounder isn't frozen anymore.

I think I know why you don't remember second and third grade. That knowledge has been displaced by useless McDonald's facts. I have so many facts. You read like Artisan Roll and I thought, you think that was a regular bun? Sure looked like a regular bun. Hell no.

Hell no. They classed it up, dude. Snickerdoodle McFlurry. A creamy, sweet treat. Perfect for the holiday season. At least that one's a little closer. Our Snickerdoodle McFlurry is made with creamy vanilla soft serve with snickerdoodle topping mixed throughout. End of sentence.

Yeah. See, here's the thing. I don't understand how the barbecue bacon burger is related to the holiday season. Neither do I. They didn't say holiday season. It just says the season. Yeah, the season. I think even they know. The season of winter. They're just like, I don't know. barbecue bacon burger is uh related to the holiday season they didn't say holiday season it's just as the season i think even they know the season they're just like i don't know they'll maybe they'll just attribute it to something like they'll think of something whatever that means to

you right they'll be like oh yeah yeah i'm a hufflepuff like that makes sense no that makes sense this season and they'll invent one and then but this i just got a great idea for an instagram face filter the snickerdoodle mcflurry makes sense. Which McDonald's item are you? That's it. That's great. Why'd you say it? You're going to be a millionaire, I think. Oh, because it's already out.

You better. We got to cut this and save it or you got to put it out. But then the Snickerdoodle, you're like, that doesn't make sense. But it's all year round. It's just ice cream. Yeah. And the ice cream in the winter. Makes sense.

But it's also not a winter item. You can get it all year round. So neither one of these seasonal items makes sense. Do people eat snickerdoodles around the holidays? I don't know that I've eaten a snickerdoodle or really know what the hell it is. I'll be perfectly honest. I think if we asked Lindsay if you've eaten a snickerdoodle,

she'd be like, yeah, I've made these things, he ate this. But I don't eat the cupcakes. I don't eat cupcakes. She probably made me taste it. You don't eat cupcakes? I don't like sweet sugar shit. I don't eat candy and cakes and shit. Wow.

That's why I hated the IHOP thing so much. I made that clear. There's an additional quote here. This is concerning the McFlurry. We know our customers enjoy the McFlurry year-round, and we wanted to give them a little something special to help celebrate the holidays, said McDonald's Vice president of menu innovation.

There it is. Linda Van Gozen. Holy shit. Menu innovation. Again, it's always the vice president. Where's the president? He's just behind her nodding his head. Good.

I don't know who he is, but he's got a button that closes his office door. He's the one who's out like you know making making the deals and stuff and the vice president has to go cut the ribbons and be the be the face of the of the menu innovation our chefs mixed up multiple flavors on purpose to ensure we got the recipe just right with the irresistible combination of snickerdoodle cookies and our creamy vanilla soft serve so it's a cookie yeah yeah it's a cookie. Yeah. Yeah. Snickerdoodle's a cookie. It's a cookie with like. It's just like a cinnamon. Cinnamon

and sugar shit on it. It kind of tastes like eggy and it has like cinnamon and sugar on it. It's like a soft baked cookie. They mentioned nowhere on here the fact that they put nuts in it. I don't think there were nuts in it. Were there nuts in

yours? No I didn't. Again I didn't taste. I wasn't like this is a nut. I also went I don't know there were nuts in it. Were there nuts in yours? Again, I wasn't like, this is a nut. I also went, I don't know what I'm eating. He only just found out what a snooker doodle is. Seriously, I didn't taste any nuts. I'm legitimately concerned because there was definitely some nut-like crunch in mine. Also, I know, here's what happened. What did they do to mine?

Here's what happened, right? Jordan was eating the snickerdoodle. Everyone was eating it. I mentioned right before we started recording, the four of us, Nick came with us this time, the four of us were all eating the food in dead silence in this room, and it sounded disgusting. It was just four people going,

but all separately. It wasn't even chewing and moaning at the same time. It was all interspersed. I was chewing, and all I could hear was everybody else was chewing, and I could hear was everybody else was chewing. And I was like, this is fucking disgusting. And also the burgers were making noises too. There was so much sauce on them.

There was sauce and the crispy onions. It was just horrendous. It was a horrific moment. I was kind of just like, can somebody talk to me? Jordan started with the snickerdoodle and you were kind of going back and forth with the McFlurry. I decided to eat the entire burger and then eat the dessert and Jordan was eating his McFlurry and was like

are there nuts in here? you said are there nuts in here? are there nuts in are there nuts in a snickerdoodle? almost like concerned and Eric was like I don't think so I don't know like almost reinforcing that concern and then five minutes later when i got to my snickerdoodle the first

bite i said are nuts in here that's all i know it tasted now that you mentioned it yeah that was a cookie yeah yeah oh boy this rating's gonna be weird there was ice cream and stuff and I was eating I went like this mmm food that was my thought ice cream

getting like the Oreo McFlurry and being like I don't know what an Oreo is but I know what an Oreo is you know what I mean just you know kill a guy for not eating a snickerdoodle

I guess. This episode of Face Jam is brought to you by DoorDash. If you had a long day at work, tough day at school, still stuck at the office, treat yourself to the meal you deserve and have your favorite restaurants come to you with DoorDash. That's right. You're sitting there. You're playing games. You're about to get that frag. You don't want to stop playing.

But you're hungry. You're feeling the need. Boom. DoorDash. You bust out the app. Boop, boop, boop. Get whatever you want. There's over 340,000 restaurants. You don't have time to eat at every single one of them. You have too many options. If there's a problem, it's that there's too many options.

That's the problem you want. Right now, our listeners can get $5 off their first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code FACEJAM. That's $5 off your first order when you download the DoorDash app from the App Store and enter promo code FACEJAM.

Don't forget that promo code FACEJAM. That's this podcast you're listening to for five dollars off your first order from door dash door dash treat yourself to some food right where you are currently sitting or standing right now thanks door dash all right let's get into getting the food uh we went to the McDonald's. The drive was uneventful. I mean, it was eventful. Certainly nothing we're going to talk about in this episode.

No problems with the car. The radio was bumping. It was the perfect thing where we got into the car and the radio was on and we heard it immediately because we just got in and it was silent. And then it was like a news report and it was something about suicide. And we were like, oh my god. And then Eric made very crude jokes making fun of it.

And we were all like, you need to stop. This is crazy. He just kept going. And we talked about it for like 10 minutes and you had the radio on low enough where it was going but we were talking over it so then there was a pause 10 minutes later and literally the first word was suicide again and we're like god they're still talking about it and then that just got

eric going again dude you guys suck so then i had to put music on we asked jordan if he listens to music and he said no what the fuck i? I listen to NPR in the car. I have a 15 minute drive. Let me get like some news in between. That's like a third of this podcast. Probably. You wish. Depending on what we eat.

Maybe edited. Man, there was one. I think it was. It was the Applebee's episode. I think it was the one after the applebee's was that the last one we did was i hop after it no we did the chicken sandwich after applebee's and that was the longest one to date as far as posting and there were a lot of comments they're like man this is the longest one yet and i went no it wasn't applebee's one was like 90

minutes and it was that was literally the episode where i went yeah we need a tiny the timer we have a timer right now and i was like that I couldn't believe how long that was. Because it didn't feel like we were talking about it. Because it was like, we knew we had to stay after work. We had to stay late to do it. So I wasn't like, well, we got to finish up and go home. It was more like, fuck it, we're here late, whatever. And then we did it and I went, oh my God, how long is it?

Please, cut that out. Just cut it down. So it has been a while since I've been inside of a mcdonald's yeah um and i don't know what it is about the one where you went to it was like we were teleported into like a swanky like hotel lobby that that was the music that was playing too yeah that i was getting vibes of like yeah department store nordstrom from the music but also like lounge chairs and stuff in the mcdonald's i was a little confused my assessment on that especially right after that car car ride was that the franchise owner listened to nbr and he heard that music lowered suicide rates for

employees so that's what he had probably relaxing they're like he probably had a very good informative piece about how people like to sit in lounge chairs while they eat McDonald's. Yeah, they were there. Speaking of McDonald's, Joan Kroc, I think she's dead, but she was married to Ray Kroc, who was the founder of McDonald's, or the stealer of McDonald's,

however you choose to see history. Michael Keaton. Yeah. And she as a she has a fund that supports NPR. You mentioned this. Yeah. Where's your NPR jacket?

I got to be a sustaining member. Okay. And they only give you a tote bag that you got to like turn into a jacket. Anyway, I just thought that was interesting all right wow i'm not i just don't know how to segue away from that that's all i'm not this discounting how do you how do you look at ray crock and his uh his legacy is he a thief i think like i wouldn't be eating it if it weren't for him right so you think those two mcdonald's brothers wouldn't have figured it out he expanded the brand no he was a visionary i'd say he got me this jacket i wouldn't be wearing this jacket if it

weren't for him also i like the original batman so that's four i don't know how to i don't know what that has to do with anything michael keaton oh no i need i need you to understand that michael keaton is not the founder of mcdonald it's literally the movie's called the founder and michael keaton stars in the movie yeah but he's also not the guy so i feel like to me in most of america he is the guy i'm sure a lot of people saw that movie i didn't i saw the trailer and he was in it i went that's the guy uh but uh so yeah i haven't been there in a while either it was saturday was the last time it's been a while today's a while. Today's Monday. Did you go inside? No, I didn't.

Just to say, I haven't been there since Saturday. I got home to my house midnight on Friday. God damn. From Christmas. And then I was there Saturday. As far as you didn't go straight there. I said, let's get back to, I said that and Lindsay wouldn't go. Because we had the kids in the car and it was 11.45 at night. And I said, let's hit up McDonald's.

And she said, absolutely not. Please take us home. Yeah, it was like a seven hour travel. It was like going to the airport and waiting and flying. It was like a four hour flight. And I was like, but McDonald's, like, it's only going to be another 10 minutes. And she's like, I'll kill you. Glad somebody in that family makes sense.

I'm counting on Iris. Whatever. She thought wrapping presents was more important. So that tells you sense. Count on Iris. Whatever. She thought wrapping presents was more important, so that tells you her... Her priorities. Her priorities, exactly. And you're wearing the jacket.

Right, exactly. I wore the jacket as we wrapped presents just out of protest. Every time she looked up, I just glared at her. You think you can escape McDonald's? Just so you know,

this is where my loyalties lie. Oh, man. We use the touchscreen order screen order thing yeah at the mcdonald's there was nobody in line but we used it we used it out of like okay they made the leap they have the technology here let's use it which is fine but as i pointed out like again being in crowded mcdonald's that thing is actually sometimes a nightmare depending on the human using it. People are bad enough at ordering, right? They're stupid. They get up to the counter and they're like,

Hey, it's McDonald's. What do you want? They go, What do you have? It's McDonald's. Not only is it on the board in front of you, but there's 400 million of them. We've been around for 50 years. How do you know? How do you not understand what we have? But they generally don't go,

What's in this burger? break it down for me you know the the menu when you give them the option that's when they start yeah when you order it it's like okay i want the barbecue bacon burger it literally the thing comes up customize it and people go oh what's that and then they click it just go deep dive yeah and then you're behind them going come on oh i don't extra sauce? I want light onions. It just takes forever. I've seen people just like, they're like, oh my God, I'm the chef. And they get to do whatever they want from the McDonald's burgers.

That's why I hate those things. McDonald's is like, I'm all for cutting out the human being and giving technology, but McDonald's is like, give me the food, and then they give you the food. I thought it was interesting that the McFlurry had the customize it option. Down to the candy. Yeah, you just took a look. You can just either add more of the topping or add different toppings. You can make it a completely different McFlurry.

And I want a Coke. Go customize it. Do I want extra ice? You could order a Snickerdoodle McFlurry, take off the Snickerdoodle topping, add Oreo topping, and still get a Snickerdoodle McFlurry, take off the snickerdoodle topping, add Oreo topping, and still get a snickerdoodle McFlurry, but it's now an Oreo one. You can be God.

That's McDonald's. Come to McDonald's. You can be God. Come to McDonald's. Become God. You know? You order it, and then you go up to the counter,

and you scream in the kitchen. You go, that's me! You're working for me now! I made you do this. I will it. You do it because I will it to be. Oh, man. Other than that, we just hung out in the lounge and listened to the relaxing music.

Yeah, it was fine. There was nothing crazy. Looked good. They didn't even shout out a number or anything. They just walked right up to Eric and handed him the bags. was impressive they knew they were like i've been watching you here's your food they're like four dipshits four hamburgers all right that's it the bags were very nice too yeah we should keep them and go grocery shopping what i would call unnecessary a hundred percent they're huge so they take the mcdonald's bag and then they put it in a giant

essentially shopping bag. That's just McDonald's flaunting their wealth. Right. And sometimes they'll do that when you have like, it's like, I like one french fry. And they're like, here's the bag and here's your shopping bag. And you're just in the car going, I don't need this. Why do I have a bag in a bag? Why do you hate the environment so much?

They're recyclable. Why did you hand me this? Just throw them out. I'm going to take them to the dump and burn them. Should we rate the food that we ate the food of? Alright, I'll go first. Like I said, I don't like McDonald's burgers

very much. And that's what you just ate. I don't find them to be particularly flavorful or memorable or interesting. And all I tasted on this one was the barbecue sauce. There was a lot of barbecue sauce. Like if I was just eating the burger, it's just barbecue sauce.

I didn't taste the onions or the cheese or the bacon. So some of the onion rings fell off and I tried those. Pretty good. Good onion rings. Very hard to get a good onion ring at a fast food place. Still looking for a restaurant that does it really well. You could just go there, get the burger, and just scrape them off.

Customize. Remove buns. Remove cheese. Onions. Remove buns. This guy just wants a box of onions. Those onions. Awesome. Also, the problem that I have with McFlurry's is that the soft serve is like, it's not like ice cream. It's like ice creme, C-R-E-M-E, but it doesn't taste like real ice cream.

It's just kind of like bland and kind of just like, this is just the vessel for delivering the topping. But the problem with McFlurry's is that it all gets mixed in on the top and when you get past that, it's just the shit on the bottom. And there's nothing there. Also, I don't know why it had nuts in it. I don't either, I guess. Why did mine have nuts? Yeah, we don't know. Nobody

knows. So yeah, I got a lot of problems with it. And this one, this McFlurry was fine. I guess it tastes like snickerdoodle. That's not a flavor I want. Bring back the Stroopwafel one from when you did the international menu. Do it.

That's my plea. 48. 48. 48. Disgusting. Honestly. You hated it too. Yeah, finally. This burger is perfection is my thought it's amazing i'm not a huge fan of barbecue not to say i dislike it tell me i just don't like barbecue sauce i'm not like i don't eat barbecue chips well you do now because it was nothing but it

it wasn't but also because you're you you were struggling to find the taste besides the barbecue, that taste lives within my brain permanently. I sensed every molecule of flavor as I was biting it. I went, there's the cheese, there's the onion. I can taste the new additions because the old additions are so ingrained into my DNA. You're like that guy in supersize me who ate like 10 000 big macs i wish i wish i would just go back and like get a big mac he would have loved this thing and to me it's just his story is one of chasing a high you can never

get well i got it because i'm high as shit okay i got it they they delivered okay they put the needle right in my arm you. You're talking about this burger in like it's different flavors and Jordan just ate it like oh I can only taste barbecue sauce. Have you had this burger before? I've had it like six times. Oh my fucking god.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I don't know why I didn't think to ask that. I had my review. Did you eat it on didn't think to ask that. I had my review. Did you eat it on Saturday? No, I didn't. I had my review the second Eric told me we were eating it. Because I don't eat the food that we do for Face Jam. You went through the song and dance of us going to eat it today,

but you already had a number. Today could have been bad. Today could have been bad. If it was bad, I would have lowered it. of the six you've eaten rank they were all they were the same they're all they're all tied and i there have been multiple different mcdonald's um here's what happened so yeah it's really funny i told eric right before we recorded the episode i go i've already eaten this so many times he He's like, that's amazing. I feel like you're not respecting the institution of the show.

Here's the thing, the institution. I ate it before we said we were doing it. I've never eaten anything. You shouldn't know. This thing has been out so long and we weren't eating it. We just kept eating other things and other things and literally... What is he going to do? Not go to McDonald's? Here's the thing.

I don't even like, again, I don't like barbecue. I saw it so many times and I didn't order it. I was like, eh, barbecue. So why do you think it's good? Because someone at work ate it. You're going to go back to my disgusting McDonald's happen. I was in my office talking to somebody and I looked in the trash can and there was a McDonald's box I didn't recognize. And I went, what is that?

What is that? What is that? What is that box? I've never seen that box before. Fucking loser. And the person next to the trash can, I went, did you eat this? And they go, no, I didn't eat this. That guy ate that. They go, hey, what is that?

What's in this box? I need to know. I need to know right now what that is, because I've never eaten it. And he'd be like, oh, it's trace amounts of onion, apple with smoked bacon, asterisk. Another aficionado of food and flavors. He's like, that was the barbecue burger from McDonald's. Let me guess, it was Jack. And it's amazing.

No. I don't know who that is. Who is that? Yeah. He's like, it's absolutely amazing. And I'm like, oh, I don't know. I'm not really into barbecue. And then those two people over there went back and forth about what is a better barbecue burger, this and that.

And I went, you know what? I'm going to weigh on this. I'm eating it on the way home. I'm going to eat that burger. And they were like, nice. So I got there. I got the double. Oh, Christ.

I inhaled it. I was like, oh, so good. I kid you not. I kid you not. I got the burger. I ate it. I got home. And you slacked, hey, you guys want to eat the barbecue bacon burger?

And I went, oh, shit. Like, literally minutes, probably, within the hour after I had eaten it. That was the first time you ate it. And then I went, why? I already ate it. Who cares? I already ate it. So then I was like, this is really good.

And I just kept eating it. I didn't have the McFlurry, though. Okay. Because, again, I don't really eat ice cream or whatever. But it was not surprisingly amazing. The ice cream just danced on my tongue. This, there's like this, this rare, uh, unheard of snickerdoodle was pretty good. It was crunchy.

It was cookie. I definitely knew it was a cookie. I was like, Oh, this is a cookie. As I was eating it, I was like, this is a cookie, but ice cream, like they nailed it. Um, I ate it all. It was phenomenal. I almost regret not giving it 100. It's just, again, I feel like I haven't tasted 100 yet,

but this was close. It's like a 99.58. Go get this burger. Don't. Get the McFlurry. Do yourself a favor. Get the McFlurry. Turn this off right now. That's way

too low. The combined score is a 73.79. Why? It's like 20 points too low. Like if you said 90, I would have been like, I disagree but I respect your opinion. Not good. But it was delicious. It was so good. I sucked it down

with delight today. I was so excited. Deconstruct it and eat it as some sort of like I have deconstructed it. I've had 4,000 quarter pounders in my life and then I had the bacon, the sauce, and the onions so that I knew what they added. I knew what they brought to the table. He's so pissed.

And every time I ate it before this podcast, I found a different flavor. Really, I should get like five ratings, honestly, for the number of times I've eaten it. I'll give one for the snickerdoodle, but the burger, I was just like, I can't wait to rate this on FaceJam. I kept saying it

every time I ate it. Every time you went and got one? Every time I got one. For a discount. That's why I got a single today, is because I went, oh, I've eaten the double. I know how big it is. I won't be able to eat the McFlurry. I was wondering why you kept saying that. I'm troubled. 73.79.

I knew you would be troubled when he told me that was... I knew it was going to be trouble. I waited. You guys were in the kitchen and I whispered it to Eric and he lost it. Oh my God. Oh man. I have a lot I want to say. Let's just do the... Unpack it. We did it.

So now we're... Again, even if you don't have I have a lot I want to say. Unpack it. We did it. That's again, even if you don't have time, don't listen to the snack thing. Go get that burger. But if you do have time, we're about to eat a snack sent in by a faithful Face Jam listener. My students

are effing obsessed with Takis. They eat them nearly constantly, weird, to the point of the damn red Cheeto dust lightly coating their homework. They're high schoolers near San Francisco in California. This is a snack sent in from Jackie C. Thank you, Jackie. Thanks, Jackie.

There are regular Takis, but I want to keep it to one snack, so we're going to get weird with the Takis. These are like, this is like eating shit back home. This is like what we would have all the time. Are Tacky's this generation's Hot Cheetos? Yes. So these are, well, we call them Tacky's. Zombie habanero and cucumber tortilla chips, zombie nitro flavor.

Oh, man. When you want the taste of a zombie, zombie nitro. So the way this is going to work, you're going to get out of 100, you're just going to take one bite. Give me the number, we'll average it, and that's what it's going to be. The bag is just green reflected on the inside. It is. Yeah, well, they're all green. And there's a zombie hand on the front, and he's reaching for the Taki.

Even they love it. You can take a bite of it. You can eat the whole thing. It's up to you. But then snap judgment, you give me that number, and that's what we're going to know. Oh, it's got a nice lime flavor. Mm-hmm. Not too spicy. habanero kind

of burning my tongue a little bit still uh i'm gonna give it like a 60 a little spicy at the end there it's spicy i like i like the lime flavor a lot okay i'm a sucker for lime flavored chips um 72 i'm laughing because like like, it's like it was meant to be. I hate lime flavor. That's why it's a 60. Like, I would eat this. I like everything about it except the lime flavor. The average score for the talky zombie habanero and cucumber

zombie nitro flavor chips is a 66. They did it. I wouldn't eat them, but I understand it. Less lime. Less lime. I'll do it. Boom. We did it. Did you rate that higher than the McDonald's? Yes.

Yes. Okay. You rated it higher than my rating of McDonald's. Because I'm normal. So anyway, if you want to send a Snackster review, send it to Face Jam, I guess courtesy of me, so that way I actually get the package. Who are you? Eric.

1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. It's still burning. You didn't plug the Twitter. Yeah. Oh, go for it. I just wanted to talk about this next thing. Why isn't it on the copy? It should really be on the copy.

Oh, you're right. You need to read it to do it. If you want to let us know about if you've tried the food or if you listen to the show and you want to comment on the show, feel free to tweet us at FaceJamPod on Twitter. It's pod podcast just so you know they're like what what's what pod i don't understand it why are you giving me a look what was that oh it is i don't know if you know you did it but you did it i felt your eyes burning i was looking down i looked up and you were like looking at me so dramatic you were like i was like oh my god this guy wants another barbecue

bacon burger. Go for the double and I think you'll come around. You need to go for the double. Once it rips its way through your body. What's that? What are you pointing at? The last part. Rate and subscribe?

Yeah. Oh, rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. And if you'd like to see pictures of us, you know, going to the restaurants

and pictures of the food and hilarity and whatnot, you know, they are posted on the Face Jam pod Twitter. You can look at them on your phone while you go and eat the food, and then it's like we're all hanging out eating together. Yeah, if you think, man, I listen to the show, I like it, I'm hanging out, while you're

staring at your phone, close your eyes after you've stared at the phone, you want to get the mental picture, and then you're like, ah, it's there, I can see Jordan not liking the food. I can see him like, ah, it's there. I can see Jordan not liking the food. I can see him frowning as he eats perfection. I can see Michael getting fatter. Yeah. Well, that's it. We did it.

Great work. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. Bye.