100% Eat - McDonald's Smoky BLT Quarter Pounder with Cheese & Holiday Pie

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review McDonald's Smoky BLT Quarter Pounder with Cheese & Holiday Pie so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about recording remotely, getting supersized, 41, and more. Sponsored by Honey http://joinhoney.com/facejam Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At Mila, our partner is the planet. Until June 30th, every Mila dishwasher purchased supports the planting and preservation of Canadian forests through the Mila Forest Initiative. Join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow. Visit mila.ca to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. That's it, huh? We're going?

Yeah, I guess we're going. Okay. Hang on. Okay. Hey, welcome to Face Jam. Oh, did the music just stop? Yeah. Oh, there it is.

Okay. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host Sy from Gungam Style. Oh no wait, it's Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you?

How'd you get those two mixed up? Sorry, I've been watching a lot of Gungam Style lately and I was hoping he was here again. Did you know that video is 10 years old? It straight up says 10 years under it. I can What? Yeah. It feels older. It straight up says 10 years under it. I can't believe it. It feels older.

Hey, sexy Jordan. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Sexy Jordan style. Oh, I like it. Oh, there we go. What did you just crack? It's a, that's... Oh, you bully.

A little life juice. It's Red crack? It's a... That's... Oh, you bully. A little life juice. It's Red Bull. It's a little life juice. I was going to say, this is our first episode of the new year. Is it? Did you do that math already? Yeah, I did the math.

It is technically, for us, we're in the past. Right. And it's remote. For you listening now, the jammer, 2023. That spit and silly we did. That came out last week, right? Yes. Yep.

Okay. So chronologically, we've done a good job here. Right. Yeah. So it was a good idea on your part. When you listen to spit and silly, because I do say when, because obviously you're listening to Face Jam. You didn't skip spit and skill.

It's in this skip and spilly. It's in the same. It's in and spilly. It's in the same. It's in spipping skill. He's in the same R space, best feed. Okay. So all right, man,

if you, hang on, something's wrong with this. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Sip it.

Okay. So sit and spilly. Now, you went back in time and into a Canyon. Oh, you're in the same RSS feed, not watching skip and Spilly, then you have an issue.

If you are a loyal jammer and you have, you should know I'm at home. Yeah, that is true. There's going to be a comment that's just like... Never mind. Never mind. What was that?

Edit this out. Can I say something really funny before we. What was that? Edit this out. Can I say something really funny before we move on from that? Totally unrelated. I saw, you may know there's a, there's some YouTube group kind of funny and there's a guy on it and he gets really sunburned really easily. Oh yeah.

But he, he, he, he, he, I saw on social media, he posted like, Hey, does anybody remember Bob the Builder?

Anybody remember? Yeah. What? Yeah. Were people forgetting? Yeah. Is he 14? What the fuck?

Guys, does anyone remember Star Wars? Did you watch? Hang on, though. Did you watch Bob the Builder when you were 14? No. I'm saying like somebody who would ask, Do you watch Bob the Builder when you were 14? No, I'm saying like somebody who would ask, do you remember Bob the Builder? I would think would be 14 now. Yes.

That's like, it's so recent. Bob the Builder feels so recent. Is it? I mean, it's not, he's not the most recent thing, but Bob the Builder was so big. Yeah. Big the Builder. He was big the Builder. He was building big things.

Original Bob the Builder release, April 12th, 1999. Whoa. What? That's recent to you? No. I thought it was like, if you would have asked me when, I would have said 2008. You're thinking of Manny, probably. Oh. What is Manny? There was Manny, yeah. You're thinking of Manny probably. Oh. What is

Manny? There was Manny, yeah. It was like Handy Manny or something? He was like Bob the Builder but he was more like a Handyman. Also, I think it was, um, what's his name? From that 70s show, right? Wilmer Valderrama! Yeah. Oh, I had to look it up. It's Manny. Good old Wilmy. Yeah. Way to go, Wilmy. Anyway, was

that fun? That we brought that up? Yeah. That was something no real reason why yeah yeah not not not a lot of mileage we can get off bob the builder and his timeliness but i mean i got something do you want it do you want me to get us so i can get us some mileage that i thought we were gonna get when eric said that's so recent it was i i really if you i thought it would have been 2008 100 so we gotta 100%. We got a fake fan here. We got a fake Bob fan here. Yeah, that's me.

Do you want me to get us somewhere? I can get us somewhere out of this. We can leave whenever we want. I can even tell you today we're reviewing McDonald's smoky BLT quarter pounder cheese and holiday pie. That's fantastic. Some of us got the pie. You didn't get the pie?

No, I couldn't get the pie Pie's a mess Did you not get the pie after I almost didn't get the pie? Or did you already not get the pie? I had already not gotten I had already not gotten the pie And I already told everyone that I hadn't gotten the pie So it really wasn't a secret

I think I either wasn't there or just didn't hear you Definitely didn't register it It's in a text so I guess you just didn't register it it's in a text so i guess you just didn't read it that's definitely true that's yeah yeah i feel that i don't question your validity in saying it but i guarantee you my lack of receiving it now i will agree with jordan the pie is a mess i'm not talking about the food of the pie i'm talking about the holiday pie situation the pie situation is fucked up yes i had to on the mcdonald's app order the pumpkin and cream cheese pie and just sort of go hey i think this might be the right thing and then michael you had a similar situation right well

close so i ordered it through the app and and it was listed as the holiday pie. I'm like, oh, great. You guys use the same app. I ordered four. Different Mickey D's. I ordered four of them because I thought, you know, the ex and the kids might like some holiday pies. Right. That's nice of you.

That's the Christmas spirit, Michael. So I got over there. It was pretty bumping. I said bumping. That's how Michael wins Christmas. He gets the holiday pies. Voice to text. It's pies. Voice to text. It's true.

Voice to text said pumping. We did not know. Just so you know, we did not understand what pumping meant. I figured it meant something. It was bumping. You know,

it's very busy. It was pumping. But, you know, hey, voice to text. And, um, so I pulled up and it was a mobile order and they're like, oh, just pull up. And then when I got to the pay window, they're like, you had the mobile order? I'm a mobile order. And they're like, oh, just pull up.

And then when I got to the pay window, they're like, you had the mobile order. I'm like, yeah. And they're like, we only have two pies left, like two holiday pies. And I was like, oh, thank God. And so I was like, yeah, I'll just take two other pies. So they gave me two holiday pies and two apples. But I'm like, I got the last two and it was only $12.30. Yeah.

Flying off the shelves. Maybe that's why I couldn't get mine. I just don't know like why it's so difficult. Why is the holiday pie such a situation? I don't know, man. Why is it always McDonald's in your goddamn, in your Szechuan sauce and all your nonsense? That's how. Maybe perfection.

A hundred percent what I was about to say. If this is Carl's Jr., I go, hey, I totally understand why this thing's fucked up. It's Carl's Jr. Right. If it's Jack in the Box, you're number one. I'm expecting it to be a tiny taco. Yeah, fully expecting to order a holiday pie and getting a tiny taco. Right, yeah.

We took the tiny taco and shaped it. Yeah, we shaped it like a pie and made it green, but it's a small taco with beef. We shaped it like a pie and made it green, but it's a small taco with beef. It's kind of unacceptable for McDonald's to be out of sorts. Oh, it absolutely is. And especially now post the dark COVID times. Right. Most of these problems are being corrected.

Right. So, I mean, you just don't have pie. It's like, that's your thing. You're announcing it. Have them. And I was more excited about the pie than the sandwich. Of course you were. The pie doesn't look that great, but I want it.

I mean, I like McDonald's little pie situations. I think they're really good. Like their apple pie, I think is great. I think it's a- Michael's got a cat. Well, Michael's got a cat and Castlevania and a pie. He can do it all. I was going to get my cat, but he ran away. You don't even have your camera on.

Yeah, my cat was right there. Yeah, but I would turn it on for the cat. You guys want to see the cat. You don't want to see me. Oh, I mean, me and Nick were looking at each other. We're all here except you, bud. Yeah.

Yeah, it wasn't. Can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you. We can't see you. Oh, okay. I didn't set it up for Spittin' Silly, but I was like, for Face Jam Prime,

I got to get it going with castlevania yeah even if i just stay on the map screen you know where i am you know where i am you see me okay well it's only squished on here because it's a double wide it's 2 19 20 yep but on discord it takes them and cuts it in half so just so everyone at home knows, every time it's brought up that Michael's playing Castlevania, there's a game on the screen. Nick just keeps going, Diablo? And it's not Diablo. It's Castlevania.

Not only have we said that already, he can see it. Would this cross the streams if we talked about our Diablo stuff? I don't think so at all. No, here's the thing. Hey, do you know why I'm fine with so at all. No, here's the thing. Because, hey, do you know why I'm fine with talking about it? Because we didn't record it.

Right, but it is something we talked about on Spit and Silly. Yeah, it is more of a Spit and Silly thing. We didn't want to cross the Skip and Spillies into the... Let's say this.

If we don't want to split the Skilly, let's say this. We can do a little bit of talk. We can do a little bit of talk. Jordan can do a little bit of talk we can do a little bit of talk jordan can do a little bit talk to make up for the pie he didn't get yep i agree oh you gotta fill that you gotta fill that pie hole look i'm just i'm work work with me here all right okay yeah uh diablo yeah thank you uh we did we we did do our diablo 2 character creation.

Yep. It was a lot of learning for some of these people. They got some rust to knock off. Right. I'm sorry, for who? Yeah, I was afraid of tetanus. I said some of these people. I didn't say who.

It's fine. But we did... It was intentionally vague, Eric, so he didn't call you out, but you're bringing attention to yourself. I don't know why. Yeah, it was all me. Oh, hold on.'t call you out. But you're bringing attention to yourself. Yeah, it was all me. Oh, hold on. I gotta sign for a package real quick. Let's pause the episode.

This is very important. I'm sorry. You can go, and it is very important, but we will not pause the episode. We can certainly wait and vamp. Nick, I'm gonna warn you right now. I turned my air conditioner back on. It's just too warm. Just get a fucking slate. We need...

Hey, you have that picture, right, Michael? What picture? The picture of us playing Diablo. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because I kept taking it with my phone like a fucking deep shit. I took a picture of the fucking TV screen. I'm so fucking dumb. It looks like shit.

It looks so bad. I was like, I just took a screen grab in the game. I'm going to post both. I'll have to get it to you because it's still on my computer. Send that to me and I'll post both. It looks so fucking bad. I understand why you did it. I did it the smarter way, but the more difficult way.

And it's the reason I don't have the photo yet. Because I'm like, it's on the computer. You fuck it i'll just use my phone and then went this is why i shouldn't have done this yeah it looks so bad they're just sitting there on my phone and i see them when i scroll back and it just makes me go oh fucking what the i was like what are you doing and you just go i i don't know i have no idea why i did this no? And you just go, I don't know. I have no idea why I did this. No idea. We just wanted to get a picture of our characters together. Yeah, literally questioned. Literally questioned one time

and I fell apart. And it was just like, I don't know, I hadn't thought about it. Eric's like, Eric planned to stand up to take a picture and then he's like,

I'll just take a screenshot. Dude, we played on two televisions and it was like PCs, but it was two TVs on the wall, like large TVs and then two laptops and I was on a laptop but then when we were done playing eric got up and walked to one of the tvs and was like everyone get together like in the game he's like all right everyone

line up and i'll take the picture in real life of the tv screen and he's like no this these look terrible these are they look so bad i'm like well right you're taking a picture of a tv what are these scan lines doing here and like not just the scan lines but there's like huge overhead lights there's like all different colors like the room looks good on camera only it looks like you can't hit in the person i'm taking the picture with your phone yeah you can't see anything it's just. It's a mass of bodies and shapes. It's just a bunch of colors. Oh, I can see me, though.

I'm in the bird. I think that's me. I think that's my bird. I can see my sorceress up front. Did you guys talk about my worm? No, we didn't talk about your worm. My worm, my demon, my bird. Which is so funny, Jordan.

It's so funny because I've wanted to bring up your worm several times and like and like something happened like i was playing a game or whatever like dark souls or something and i saw something like it and i'm like oh man i gotta talk about jordan's worm and i realized like we didn't record it and we haven't talked about it yet and i'm just like i'm not explaining that whole thing yeah i've been waiting i've been waiting to just be like this guy and his fucking worm so i've been i've been building my character as i level up with just getting as many casts as possible oh yeah so first one was the raven and then i got uh you're the you're the druid yeah i got a little i think the worm was the second one i think i got the worms fucked up

i hate the worm it's fucked dude it's yucky it's gross the worm is yucky but it is really he's really good oh no one's questioning his following me around yeah we're questioning i think he's doing more damage per second than it's a weird thing and it's like the only thing in the game that's underground yeah yeah it's like the only enemy where it's just like a worm underground and you just see its lump. It's like – It kind of pops up. What is it? It's like what did you say?

Tremors. It's like tremors. Yeah. And it's just so gross because it looks like a lesion or like some sort of tapeworm that even though it's not touching you, you just go – Yeah, I didn't like being around it. The whole time. Every time Eric sees it. It's like, Jordan, get your fucking worm away from me.

Eric, it's helping you. It would just like hop around me and it made me like I was like uneasy to be near it can I tell you this is what I hope for in that people go why didn't they just film it this is so much more fun to me explaining people about Jordan's little worm than them just watching the video

it really is why do I want to film it we got through the whole first act we got through the whole first act it We got through the whole first act. It was a lot of fun, and I feel like we got to move on because I'll talk about it for 40 minutes. Yeah, we'll keep going. I will say, last thing about it is that people kept coming in and going, oh, you're playing Diablo? Yeah. Are you guys recording it?

No. And then our friend of ours, Alfredo, just went, oh, awesome. Yeah. He was like, what? He was like, outraged. You're playing for fun it was so good it was so cool dude can i can i tell you too like i've had several other people now like not not directly like hey because of that but like in meetings talking about stuff mention like hey can we do something like the diablo thing though like just as far as like uh like a chill, like

can we just like play like just finding time to like do shit and like working on the schedule, like time to be human beings also. And I'm just saying like that got so noticed. It's already being referenced as like human time. Yes! Can we do human time stuff like

with Diablo? Like, you know, so and so like I do whoever's talking like I don't give a shit about Diablo but I would like to be a human and I was very jealous of do human time stuff like with Diablo? Like, you know, so-and-so. Like, I, whoever's talking, like, I don't give a shit about Diablo, but I would like to be a human, and I was very jealous of that human time. We were like, we're being alive. It was. Yeah, that's really where that was coming from. But here we are right now making content out of it. That's what I'm saying.

It didn't even matter that we didn't record it. Anything that happens amongst the four of us is content. Yep. Whether or not it's recorded. Yeah, we rule. It will get used. I keep kicking something and one light is going off. I was going to say, you're putting on a little light show. Oh, you disappeared. I thought it was

the cat. I thought the cat was doing something. That's me. Not the cat. That's him. Did I lose more? No, it looks like it's the same. Okay. Anyway, hey, today we're reviewing McDonald's Smoky BLT Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Holiday Pie. I know I said that already, it looks like it's the same. Okay. Anyway, hey, today we're reviewing McDonald's Smoky BLT Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Holiday Pie. I know I said that already, but I thought it was

a refresher. It was necessary. It's time to reset. Badest experience with the restaurant. I've been there. Are you loving it? I kind of do. Guys, guys, hey, real quick. Yeah. Does anyone remember McDonald's? Oh, no, he's in the cave again? Oh, no. He's in the cave again.

Oh, no. He went back in time to the last time. Probably. Probably yesterday. Robot. They're turning me in. Oh, no. The McDonald's robot.

Fuck Grimace. You're going to fuck Grimace? Insert Grimace into depository receiving Grimace. They replaced Grimace with his robot. They didn't want him. Now I will say Michael's right. They did not want him.

Here's the thing. They didn't want him, which is fine. But the number of goddamn people and jammers telling us like Face Jam, take Grimace and having to tell jammers we gave like, face jam, take grimace. And having to tell jammers, we gave him. Yep.

To Whataburger. Yep. If they don't want him, that's fine. We don't want him. We don't want, we don't want. Or as I like to call it,

unwanted. I'm going to fix this light real quick. You guys fuck around a little bit. If you want, I don't recommend it. Yeah. McDonald's is something that has become more prevalent in my household over the last month when it gets cold my wife doesn't want to leave my house my small wife goes do you know what i want mcdonald's breakfast and that consists of one hash brown maybe part of an egg sausage biscuit thing and

a large coke at 10 a.m and she will fucking house it just the coke the coke part is concerning that's the that's the most yeah that's her favorite she says it's not troubling but it's it's borderline she'll She'll drink it and go, this is the reason I'm alive today. And they go, oh, that's fun. That's good to hear. Yeah. I do like to picture it being almost as large as her

and she's just kind of like holding it like a koala holds a branch. Yep. And being like, ooh, this is my juice. Yeah, that's exactly. You gotta remember, and that's fine for a time, but you gotta remember at some point, there's a difference between being alive and living,

and that might keep her alive. Yep, but I don't know that she's living. But she ain't living. Drinking coke at 10 a.m. Get busy living or get busy drinking coke at 10 a.m. Yeah, it's really something. She is, I mean, it's either that or she'll have a Mountain Dew later in the day.

And again, it's what Jordan's saying, where it's so big because she's so small and she'll look at me and go this is my gamer girl juice and uh she doesn't play games at all what game is she playing yeah i don't know at all really something um but at least she's enjoying it. I mean, other than that, I never playing games. I think would be, she would be like, I want to watch you, Eric play animal crossing for me. So you play it.

I'll tell you what to do. That's, that's probably pretty accurate. I would think that's kind of like the way it happens. I, I, other than like my wife getting this and I get like a cup, I just order a cup of coffee when she has it. Cause it's like, I'll get a, I'll get like their McCafe.

I don't care. I'll house that. It's easy. Meanwhile, Michael is becoming handyman. Yeah, he's, he can build it. He's doing all types of projects over there. Yes, he can. I got it.

You did it. And you were talking about your wife's coffee. But outside of, outside of that, like, I don't ever go to McDonald's. Well, and then this, where we go constantly. Right. And if I am going to McDonald's, I'm not getting limited time offerings. I'm getting tried and true things that I know I like and are

timeless American classics. But will today's be added to that list? Wow! I know that's a tease. I'm so tempted to just answer the question. Yeah, and I know your answer's gonna be speed, time, tease. I'm so tempted to just answer the question. Yeah, I know. Your answer's going to be time, yes. I think we all know the answer. The rest of this episode is Jordan demanding

this must be a permanent menu item. I mean, if you want. Jordan, did you ask an AI to do more haikus for you, or did you write one? No, I wrote one this time. Oh, all right. Let's see what that's all about. Set a dangerous precedent.

Guys, it's hard to tell because there's a lot of red, but I'm making my lights orange. Oh, cool. Thanks for Face Jam. I like it. Thanks, man. Although it was weird. I said my phone was open, and I said, I'm not going to use the AI this time. And then all the lights turned red in my house.

Oh. And then a voice said, can't let you do that. And then it got hard to breathe a little bit. Like maybe there was 98% oxygen. Just a percentage or two. And you were going, hmm. So this is a human coup. This is a human coup.

It says, it's that time of year. Putting on holiday weight. About a quarter coup. It says it's that time of year putting on holiday weight about a quarter pound. Nice! Yeah, you wish. At least. I wanted to write at least a quarter pound. Minimum quarter pound is too long.

Yeah. It's hard in winter to not just be stationary and eat. Probably about a quarter of a hundred pounds. All the eating and all the not going outside is a recipe for disaster. In fact, last year we had that. This was the episode where Michael got infected.

Around Christmas time last year. We got the Burger King long sandwich. There's a picture Eric took of me where I was like, this is rock bottom. I looked at it and was like, I need to do something about this. I'm looking like that

again is my problem. Oh, no. I like to do it every year and a half or so. I like to hit rock bottom. Well, you're 10 to 10. Yeah. Sometimes I go way past. And now, right now, I'm going towards rock top.

Oh, wow. Okay. And now it's maybe not in an overall health-ness, but like I've got a little bit of humanity back. I got my medication, right? I can be kind of a normal looking person. I got my hair cut. You can bend your knees again.

I can bend my knees. I can put pressure on my knee. This is huge. I can crawl into my own bed like a big boy. You don't have to be real big boy. You don't have to be forklifted into it. Right. But, man, I've just felt like shit lately.

Like stomach issues, which is really weird. I can't explain it. Right, but man, I've just felt like shit lately, like stomach issues, which is really weird. I can't explain it. I don't know. I've never really had stomach problems before, but now it's starting to affect me. I think I might be allergic to something, some kind of food or something. I don't know. But in addition to that, then I got

sick. Let me tell you, I haven't checked, but I know i am cutting weight you are i i was gonna point this out the other day you are smaller than i've seen you in a really long time i can tell you this because of how little i've eaten oh really like and it's not even me trying to lose it's just i feel like shit and then i got sick and i'm just like i'm just not hungry but as i'm doing it i'm going i must be losing so much weight you are you have not muscle i'm not gaining muscle right when i was going to the gym but boy i'm cutting weight from uh being sort of human and sick

it's a periclip system yeah one time i had a i had like a really bad like a stomach virus or something and it lasted a couple of days. I just remember going, man, I feel so bad, but I'm going to look so good after this. I know. It's like, you get that, you get that like hungry slash pain feeling in your gut. And then also like my cheeks like hurt. It's hard to explain. My cheeks are like, oh, we need food, but we don't want it.

And I say, okay, I'll just keep drinking iced tea, I guess. Your cheeks talking to you? Well, yeah, your cheeks are connected to your tummy. Like, you know, if you're about to throw up, your cheeks will start salivating like crazy because your tummy's going, get ready, it's coming. Yep. And then your cheekies salivate your esophagus, so the pukey comes up faster.

I only get cheek feel when I'm thinking about something like sour. Oh, see, I have such a tummy-ache-cheek connection. I'll be like, I can tell my mouth is getting ready to throw up some food or something. Oh. Yeah. It's like a really shitty superpower. It's like when your grandpa can feel the weather changing in his knee. I mean, yeah, I can

do that too. I just start screaming in pain. And I'm only 35. And still not a member of AARP. You gotta get on that. You gotta get on that, man. You gotta re-up,

because I bet there's like a $10 referral code. Oh, I'll refer you, yeah. Nice. We'll be making deals. We'll be doing early bird specials. Oh, yeah. I hope you like soup plantation. We can do early bird specials,

and we can also get Eric's small waifu while we're out getting early bird specials. Yeah, just get her a big Coke. Yep. She can be there in the i really appreciate drinking a big coke what i really appreciate about the aarp thing is that this is helping out the jammers so much who maybe hadn't considered signing up but who are all definitely could easily like you're well past that that's why that's why i did it i would be concerned about your approaching ineligibility. Yes. Because there's probably a cutoff. Right, it's when you die. Yeah.

I think once you hit trip-didge, Oh! Yeah. They're like, hold on. You need AARP. Right. They're like, look, we're not just going to hand you a check for coming in today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because your life expectancy is

EOD? Right. EOD. The business. Like Joe Biden's about to hit that number, I think. Dude. Four more years. Hey, let's get on to the facts. Oh yeah, let's learn about

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Only at DQ. Happy tastes good. Our previous McDonald's episode was released January 7th, 2020. Uh-oh. Whoa. That's scary just to read that. Yes, it is. Where we ate the McDonald's bacon barbecue burger

and snickerdoodle McFlurry received an average score of 73.5. That's pretty good. Well, that's because you gave it a 99.85. That makes sense. That sounds like a 2020 score. It's almost been three years. Jordan, it also was a pre

pretzel pub score. Yep. And here's the thing. McDonald's is one that we don't do very often because they don't have a ton of limited stuff all the time. It's true. there's like their food just someone ordered it this shit like mikey yeah yeah was this the one you ate like three times before it was the one i ate like oh no no no so it's it's it's hard to keep track because they did it for both this one and for whataburger whataburger was the one i took all the pictures of the receipts for and

sent them to eric because i remember I was going, some are orange and some are blue. And then I had like six of them. That's right. Remember seeing that conversation after the fact. But I did also eat this a bunch. It's a good one, which I know is shocking to hear. Did you eat the smoky BLT a bunch?

No. I'll be honest, didn't even hear of it until Eric said it yesterday. Interesting. And I go to McDonald's. Yeah, you go there. That's snuck in, bro. You actually live there. I was shocked to see that.

You could redeem a very flat burger. I mean, it must have just come out because I literally was there days ago. Really? Yeah, at the end of November. Try to think if it's on the sign, am I at McDonald's? Maybe I just missed it.

This and the holiday pie are really under the radar. I straight up did not know it was a thing until last night. And I went, do I have that? And then I checked the app and I was like, oh. How many rewards do you have on the app? Probably not that many. I'm going to be honest. McDonald's, a lot of times, I don't order ahead of time.

Because I don't really customize things. And that's when I order it on the app. I do it like at Wendy's and Taco Bell constantly because Taco Bell especially is like put sour cream in this. I don't want this sauce, but I want that sauce. And I'm never going to, I'm not an asshole. I'm not going to do that at the speaker, but I'll take

20 minutes to do it at home. McDonald's is usually like, I don't want this thing, like no pickles. And so I don't use the app a lot. McDonald's is also the only app that requires a code. Everyone else just says, who are you? I go, hey, mobile order for Michael. Cool, pull up.

McDonald's, it's like, what's the four-digit code? Just information. I hate that you have to. There's like a QR thing. You have to get there. Then in the app where you order, be like, okay, now I'm here, which I don't like because it makes you be on your phone in the drive-thru. I don't like that.

Because I've tried it. I've tried to lie before where like I ordered at my house and then it goes, tell us when you're here. And I say, I am here. And then they use GPS and they say, no, you're not. You're not here. You seem pretty far. There's just a little laughing Ronald McDonald going. So you have to wait until you get there. Then you got to take out your phone and say, I'm not. You're not here. You seem pretty far. There's just a little laughing Ronald McDonald going, ah-ha-ha.

So you have to wait until you get there. Then you gotta take out your phone and say, I'm here while you're in line. And then you gotta have this four-digit number up ready, or it's like two letters, two numbers. And it just all seems so unnecessary, considering not a single other fast food place does it. And it seems to work just fine. People are always trying to steal from McDonald's.

I guess that must be it. Food bandits. Yeah, a little food bandits. It's what I guess that must be it. Food bandits. Yeah, a little food bandits. It's what Ray Kroc would have wanted. And I think he also would have wanted me to go into this next fact. Oh, good idea. McDonald's first drive-thru opened in 1975 in Arizona

in order to service the military base nearby because soldiers were not allowed to leave their cars off base while wearing fatigues. This is similar to how Nick drives around in some fatigues he found and makes people thank him for his service and he never corrects them. Big salute, Semper Fi.

Oh, wait, hold on. Oh, hang on, hang on. He needs to put on the monkey mask and then salute. Hang on, wait, I gotta get a picture. We gotta get... Make sure you take mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on, wait. I got to get the picture. We got to get... Yeah, make sure you take a picture of Castlevania, too. Oh, you want to get Castlevania in there? People need to know.

Okay, okay. It's in there. People need to know how squished I am. We need to get some little fatigues for the monkey now. Oh, you'd find a military monkey. Some camo, some camouflage, fatigues. Yeah, but we should get him orange camo. Oh!

Oh! They make camo in everything. His name on his breast pocket just says M Sauce. Oh, because it's the front to back. I like that. M Sauce! What if we did a ketchup and mustard fatigue? What if we did like a red fatigue and then like a yellow fatigue and then he's saucing it?

But it just looks like splatter. Yeah. It sort of looks like. Instead of organic shapes, it looks like he just splattered a bunch of sauce. I would say it's putting a hat on a hat, but it's not because we're dressing up the monkey. So we kind of do whatever we want. I want it. And also fatigues aren't a hat. They're pants, but it's not because we're dressing up the monkey, so we kind of do whatever we want. I want it! And also, fatigues aren't a hat.

They're pants. And it's true. Fatigues is pants and a coat. Can we get him one of those berets that go on just kind of the side of his head? Of course we can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a lot to wear a beret. He's an orange beret. He fought in the Sauce Wars.

He'd be like a spice beret or something. I don't know. And then we can get a license plate that says Operation Saucy Freedom. You definitely need to dress in fatigues and tell people you fought in the Sauce Wars.

I mean, that alone needs to happen. I'm not sure where we're going with it. It's kind of like if you have shredded cheese and peanut butter and you want to eat them both, but you don't know how to make it. I feel like that's the situation we have. We've got some cheese. It might be shredded. It might be Kraft. I don't know.

And then there's peanut butter, and somehow it's going to go in our mouth. And that's what we're going to do with Nick. Somehow Nick's going to go in your mouth. It's just good world building when we start mentioning the sauce wars. People are like, oh, what's that? I want to learn more about this. It's definitely world building. I don't know how good it is.

I'm for it though. Yep. So that's two facts. Yep. We're making good time. Fact number three. In the United States, there are 1.5 times as many McDonald's as there are hospitals. Although this might seem crazy, it's actually good because I've been telling my doctor to supersize me for like six years now, but he won't do it. So I'm going to a place that will.

And then in parentheses, I am trying to get huge and in more parentheses, thank you, McDonald's. I'm ready to get supersized. But also they haven't had supersized for like again, I hate to hit you here with like a... No, no, I understand. No, I understand. Expert knowledge.

Well, I'm just saying you've been asking your doctor to supersize you for like six years, but it's been gone for like 15. Right. But here's the thing. You're way too late. I don't need to ask McDonald's to supersize my meal. I'm going to McDonald's to supersize myself.

Right. Something the doctor won't help me with. Just by eating a whole bunch. Yes. I'm just saying as far as I'm aware, and correct me if I'm wrong here, Jordan, but the only way to get supersized was with the supersized meal. And so that's why when McDonald's got rid of supersized, they eliminated obesity in America. No! I hadn't considered how obesity is over.

I haven't seen any obese people since— You can't be supersized without the supersized. Didn't you see the documentary? You're right. You'd be regular size. That one guy fixed it. Uh-huh. the super-sized. Didn't you see the documentary? You're right. You'd be regular-sized. That one guy fixed it. Uh-huh. Morgan Spurlock.

So McDonald's said- Who is not a wizard. Wow. Whoa. Is that like a wizard hiding in plain sight? Like if you're a mermaid, you're going to work at the bar downtown and swim in the mermaid tank? And people will go, they'll never suspect I'm a real mermaid. They just think I work here.

If you're a warlock, you just call yourself Spurlock and go, I'm not a warlock. This would be such a bad name. If I was a warlock, why would I pick something that sounds like warlock? And they go, that makes sense. Certainly, I'd be further away from the word if I was a wizard. Why would I do this? Morgan Warlock. No, no.

Too obvious. Morgan Spurlock. I'm safe. I'm safe in plain sight. Like Morgan Le Fay? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, God damn it.

Although it is the largest fast food chain, they do like to run out of food a lot. That was part of the fact that I added that second line. McDonald's menu varies all over the world. In Italy, you can get creamy stars, which is deep fried cheese. Or in Hong Kong, you can get red bean pie. The winner, though, is the Philippines, which sells McSpaghetti with chicken nuggets on the side. No word on if it comes in a bucket. Why won't anyone put their spaghetti in a bucket for us?

Please give us bucket spaghetti. I mean, if there's a food that could work in a bucket, it is spaghetti. From McDonald's. And not less than itself. If you put McDonald's spaghetti on a plate and then you moved it into a bucket, you've lost nothing. No one will go,

oh no, it looked so good before. Nothing of value was lost. Nothing of value was lost. It's just the bucket was gained. Give us the bucket. That's it. That's exactly what it is. The bucket. Yep. Because it. That's it. And then you get to keep the bucket. Yep.

Because it's, and it's also going to get. Charge me more. People are going to just be talking to you. People are going to be like, hey, what's in that bucket? And you go, oh, this is all my spaghetti. We were talking about how grandmas love stealing the plastic cups from the hometown buffet. Oh my God. McDonald's can bring back stealing.

Well, I mean, you're just going to keep buying the bucket and you're going to have a house full of buckets from McDonald's at that point and you'll never want for a bucket just like how I never wanted for a hometown buffet glass. Here's what you do, Jordan. Jordan, but here's the problem. Here's the problem. You weren't allowed to take

those glasses. Okay. You can't tell people they're allowed to take the bucket. You need to get a rush somehow. And then you leave the bucket here. Then it'll invite all the grandmothers to steal them. Then they're going to get stolen like hotcakes

and you're going to have your bucket racket going on. But McDonald's anticipates that and they build it into the price and they're totally fine with it. Everybody wins. Oh no, our buckets are getting stolen. Oh, our buckets. Please stop stealing our buckets.

And they stay number one and continue to not have holiday pies. Insane. Insane. Boom. That's what Ray Kroc would have wanted. That's what he got. In 2015, a Grand Rapids miniature woman, Michigan

woman, was so upset I saw your shortening miniature to MI. I thought MI was the word for heart attack. In 2015, a Grand Rapids Mission Impossible woman was so upset that she did not receive fake bacon. There we go. Rapids, Mission Impossible woman was so upset that she did not receive bake

bacon. There we go. Look, it either said bacon or bake or yeah, I had to know, but it does say bacon on her burger that she shot at the McDonald's drive-thru window so she was upset

that she didn't get bacon. She was sentenced to three to seven years in prison, which means she's now free and ready for revenge. Here's the thing, though. She never did get that bacon. You don't know that she got sentenced to more for bad behavior. That's true. People are always getting let out for good behavior.

What you don't hear about is the Mission Impossible woman blasting into a McDonald's drive-thru getting sentenced for bad behavior. What you don't hear about is the Mission Impossible woman blasting into a McDonald's drive-thru getting sessions for bad behavior. Do you think the Mission Impossible woman in prison started fighting other people to remain in prison? She probably just kept saying that as soon as I get out,

that McDonald's better watch out. They're like, we can't give you parole if you keep saying these things. You can't keep saying that. Right. Are you rehabilitated? No, absolutely not.

If you let me out right now, I'm going to that McDonald's. I'm just saying you guys laughed at Mission Impossible and then she got a gun. Yeah. So not so funny anymore. Yeah. Nothing's impossible. She killed Tom Cruise's wife. I think. Somehow. No, nothing's impossible. She killed Tom Cruise's wife, I think. Somehow, yeah.

No, never mind. Faked it. Oh, that's right. Dude, they faked what I love is they faked his wife dying just like they faked Jeremy Renner getting the role. Oh, that's right. Tricked ya. Hey, in part four, we're gonna set you up as the next

me. Then in part five i'm gonna change my mind but still have you in the movie and you get to wear a suit yep yeah you get to be in the background you get to talk to people in offices while i hang on we're gonna make a sixth one and we're gonna make you do it again um jeremy renner maybe he was in 5 and 6 so Jeremy Renner did that with Mission Impossible right yeah okay uh huh and then he did that with the Bourne movie well I mean at least the Bourne movie they just

didn't make right they made Bourne Legacy and he's in it right he did one where he was much more Bourne he was a different he was like another Bourne yeah he was a different Bourne like another born yeah he was a different one of the borns but i'm saying they haven't made another one after that did they no no because because when you're switching your when you're switching your actor it's not for a good reason

so right they weren't gonna line up a whole bunch no no that's what i'm asking though was was the last born matt damon again i don't remember. I think so. Nikki's going, ah! I think it was. It's a similar situation, although at least even in that situation, I feel like it's still a little bit different, because Matt Damon wasn't in that movie, and he was a different

Jason Bourne. It was like, hey, we're gonna do a spin-off Jason Bourne, and it didn't really work, and then we a different Jason Bourne, it was like, hey, we're going to do a spinoff Jason Bourne, and it didn't really work. And then we went back and finished the original. This one was like, hey, welcome to the franchise. You're taking over. Actually, never mind. Get out.

I'm going to keep doing it. Yeah, Tom Cruise somehow is still young. I'm getting younger, but also actually not even get out. Now just kind of hang out and be in the talking scenes. He's done so much less in those movies since the first one. Simon Pegg

still in it. Simon Pegg in it and closer to the action than Jeremy Renner. And that last Simon Pegg fact, the last fact for McDonald's. Oh, very nice. That's good. So we came in exactly on time.

Yeah. At about, you know, 40-ish minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, I know where we wanted to land. You guys ever download the Jeremy Renner app when that was up? No. Can't say that I did.

What the hell was that? I didn't know there was a Jeremy Renner app to begin with. I didn't start. Jeremy Renner had an app. Was it like a twitter alternative because i'm looking for options well i think it was called a jeremy renner official and then you could it was like a social media site where jeremy renner was like the focus so really it was like

an app to follow him but i think you could post as well but only as a, like a... As long as it's Jeremy Renner focused. A Renner fan is called a Renonite. I don't think you necessarily had to post about being a Renonite, but... If you didn't, it was... You were... I think it's flagged automatically. They have to get approved, moderated.

Yeah. And they have the emails to show it. Yeah. I like Jeremy renner because he seems like a genuine guy but i don't know in what like in which way he seems like a genuine guy um like he seems like a genuine weirdo but in a way where i go this is all right i think right he's not like a ben affleck weirdo type. I have no idea. Really? He just strikes me as a... Jeremy Renner strikes me as a guy that's shy of Marvel. I can't believe how long he's been around but stayed out of the spotlight.

I think of Jeremy Renner and I think of fucking SWAT. That's the first movie I think of with Colin Farrell. And then I think of... And then I didn't see him for 10 goddamn years or like five years. And it was like, wait, he's a huge superstar now? That's what I think of when i think jeremy rainer he was in the town wasn't he and then like that really like he was but he was and that was years after swat yeah that was with that was with ben affleck right yeah yeah yeah i think it was that and then he was in american hustle which i don't think anybody remembers but like that's the thing i remember him for and then he's just in

stuff he's just kind of weird guy. Damn. And then where does all that lead to weird guy though? I guess. There's just something about him. He's just in some stuff and then weird guy. Yeah. I think I just feel like when you see him in interviews, you go a little too genuine to be normal and a little too weird to be

normal. Okay. So really like it's a Venn diagram. We're in the middle. It makes me go, I don't know about this. I don't know. The guy had an app. He seems pretty normal to me.

Hang on. And about this, has anybody seen Glass Onion? No, I haven't watched it yet. No, you asked this last week. Well, guess what? Totally unrelated, but now this week, Renner-related. Really?

There's a lot of things that we are talking about that i wish someone saw glass onion it's a different reason why i will be watching it december 22nd when it comes out you can't watch it anywhere right i don't remember well you could have watched it in theaters could have watched it for a week that it was in theaters and then can't watch it for the last month i managed to see it and i'm sick you're sick right now you didn't watch it for the last month. I managed to see it. And I'm sick. You're sick right now. You didn't see it right now. You don't know that.

Also, it's January 3rd, right? Oh, that's right. The timeline doesn't add up. We've already seen it. Jordan, teach us about the food. Please, God. Gladly. Smoky BLT quarter pounder with cheese. First, there's the quarter pounder with cheese, QPC.

Now, there's still the QPCc but with smoky sauce and bacon it's already a journey you guys the smoky blt qpc offers bold and savory flavors you'll want to enjoy with two hands each smoky blt quarter pounder with cheese they stopped calling it qpc for some reason is cooked when you order with a 100 fresh beef quarter pound patty two slices of melty american cheese not craft thick cut apple and smoked bacon fresh roma tomatoes shredded lettuce smoky sauce and a toasted sesame seed bun a smoky blt quarter pounder with cheese has 770 calories. Oh my God. That's more calories than I've eaten in the last week. My waterway evened out.

You're back to normal. No. Oh, you're good work. I'm done. I really like that. They just throw in the calorie count right there at the end. And also,

we are provided. We are obligated to by law, but not for the pie. Nope. Why? Don't know. It was on But not for the pie? Nope. Why? Don't know. It was on the McDonald's website. Creamy, smooth, vanilla custard nestled in a flaky, buttery crust glazed with sugar and topped with rainbow sprinkles.

Doesn't that just sound like a holiday delight? Yeah. Was it like that for you? It's a winter wonderland. In my head, it is. I'm in a snow globe and I'm eating a holiday pie from McDonald's. But then someone shook it all up. Yep.

Oh, no, and it flew away. It all scrambled and flew out of your hands. I'll say this just because you didn't get it. Man, that thing, they're not kidding when they say flaky. Yes, because it's messy. It's messy as fuck. The apple pie tends to hold up okay. It's not that flaky, right? It's not at all's messy as fuck. The apple pie tends to hold up okay. It's not that flaky, right?

It's not at all like the apple pie. It's like the crust in this pie, it's like, oh my god, it crumbles as you're eating it. Yeah. I think there's something about the apple pie filling that has a stickier consistency that holds everything together, and this does not have that. It was just custard on the inside, and everything was just flying off the not have that it was just like custard on the inside and everything was just flying off the fucking pastry it was crazy yeah it's just like when you bite when you bite the pie you know the pumpkin pie or the apple pie it breaks where you

bite it yeah this is like a cookie where you bite it and then also 57 pieces break yep yep and so it's like i get one bite and then there's four crumbs on the floor. And I'm like, it's like a frozen lake, you know, point of impact. And it sends fissures everywhere. There's some fissures for sure. Uh, I want to talk about the smoky BLT.

We should get through the press material and then talk about the food. Some because I could fall under. What did you like or not? Like under the review, the food section. I just, I really want to like dissect what this fucking thing was what he's saying is let's get through this with no funny business okay oh yeah okay go ahead press material is as follows quote education has proven to be one of the most effective ways to empower youth and mcdonald's

remains dedicated to that belief said eliz Campbell, Senior Director of Cultural Engagement, McDonald's USA. No funny business, guys. Okay. Our Asian Pacific American-focused programs are designed with leading partner organizations like Next Shark and APIA Scholars to ensure we address the community's unique needs and diverse groups

what does that have to do with the sandwich well there was no press material for the sandwich so i took i took their most their next most recent press material uh which one of these acronyms is the quarter pounder with cheese i think that's part of next shark okay Okay. Now, I don't endorse Next Shark because I don't know what the hell it is, and Eric wrote it on a piece of paper, and I'm reading it. It's a wild name for whatever it is, though. Next Shark.

We're not the first one. We're not the last one, but we're the next one. We are the next shark. I used to use Game Shark. Does that count? Yeah. That's a real last shark situation. Maybe even a first shark. Yeah yeah that's a real last shark situation maybe even a first shark

yeah that was that's a previous shark if i've ever seen one maybe if we're going donkey kong lineage cranky shark yep yeah yeah yeah i'm looking for funky shark all right jordan i'm sorry we fucked around a little bit but it was after you were done, not during. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Jordan only likes Diddy Sharks. Go ahead. Donkey Shark. You know, some people occasionally, they'll come find me in other places and just go,

when are we hearing Crazy Bones? It's the reason I still know what it's called. Because every now and then, a jammer will just find me somewhere, not face jam related related and go, so Crazy Bones when? Soon? Oh, my God. All right. Well, that's the press material.

Okay. I don't know. I feel like Eric was still waiting for you to say something. No, no, no. No, this is good. Okay. So let's talk about this fucking sandwich all right let's get into the the sauce talk i don't understand jordan eric has problems but i don't

understand what it is that set this thing apart from anything did it taste particularly smoky do i have to read no please don't read it. Please don't read it again. Education has proven to be. Oh, my God. You put it on there for him to read. Now you have to say he's reading it? I just don't, like, was there anything about this that was like, oh, yeah, I see what you were going for. Like, you really knocked it out of the park.

Whenever we do these remote episodes and we get it from different restaurants, I feel like we always have different it's not just experiences it's but totally different crafted food items it's true because mine was nothing but smoke wow really mine they they they sauce the top and the bottom with that here here's what's kind of a problem here I'm going to say. I don't know to agree and disagree with Jordan, but in the like where you go. Classic Michael fashion. Classic.

Jordan, you're right. But let me tell you why you're wrong. No, mine was also different. I don't know that mine was smoke, but what I can say as we discussed, as a monster who spends far too much time at McDonald's, I found myself eating it going, this tastes like it doesn't come from McDonald's, which is crazy to me. Wow. I'm not even saying this is amazing. I'm saying this sandwich is like, this does not taste like it's from McDonald's, and that is surprising to me. That they actually made something different enough where it did not taste like a quarter pounder to me.

Now, maybe it was like the combination of things. I don't know if it was the smoke. I don't know if it was the sauce. But I was actually shocked. It tasted like something different. Whoa. Wow. That, I did not have that.

I had that the entire sandwich. Every bite. I was like, oh my God, this is so different than a McDonald's sandwich. Mine was so lubricated with the smoky sauce that I took a bite and it almost ran away from me. Oh, I didn't have that much. It's also confusing because what color is the sauce? It almost fell off the back. It's like light orange.

Right. It's like a light orange. It's almost an aioli color. Yeah. It just, it's weird to me that it's called smoky. Didn't look smoky at all to me. It looks,

it looks like a mayonnaise is what it looks like. The only thing that's making this smoky is this sauce. And it's to the point where it's like, Oh, we didn't, we, we put mesquite flavorings or in there. It,

to me, it tastes like capsaicin like a chemical compound of smoky flavor it's so engineered we got like three completely different burgers this is crazy it was too smoky and too fake smoky I don't know how he's doing word wise

but Nick was yours smoky? smoky, saucy but still McDonald's. Mine was... Very interesting. So he agreed and disagreed with everyone. Yeah, absolutely.

He said you're all right. Mine was different. Mine tasted like a quarter pounder. Mine tasted like a quarter pounder with a piece of bacon on it, and I kept eating it, waiting for it to become this big smoky flavor, and I only got a little bit most of the way through it was like not nothing really happened another

problem I had was that mine was cold that sucks for you mine was really sucked because did you get it delivered I did get it delivered but there were no stops in between or anything like it went from the McDonald's straight to my house.

Maybe they just chilled it for you. Just to make you mad. Yeah, they wanted to make you mad. Like, maybe it was a chili orange juice situation. Oh! And so he went, I'm going to make sure he's the first stop, but I'm going to put it in my in-car refrigerator. Yep.

No. Which is a dick move. And he ate your pie. Yeah, it's fucked up. Can't blame you. That's wild. I don't know. Again, as someone who-

So disappointing on multiple fronts. I'm not even saying like, wow, this is amazing. I'll get to that later. But what I am saying is, as someone who eats at McDonald's a lot, and most fast food places, you're like, I just want something different. It's the same ingredients mixed over and over again. And that's still this. I was just like,

wow, this actually tastes more different than usual for McDonald's. Wow. That, that was my thought throughout the entire impress you. Or are you looking for a McDonald's? I'm a little impressed. I'm surprised because they,

they never do that. They just make the same shit over and over again. Like, like that's why the, that's why I think the pretzel pub is so amazing because it's so goddamn different. It's like they made a burger that's different, but also it all makes sense.

There's not so much shit on it. And it's like, okay, you created a new thing. McDonald's didn't do that here at all, but it's McDonald's, and it's that weird thing we said. Well, they're number one, but also it's like because they're number one. They got Nintendo logic, too, where it's like they don't have to be competitive because they have such a lead.

They just go, we can do whatever the fuck we want. People are going to still come to McDonald's. They can ship a burger that's like buggy and laggy, and people are still going to buy it at full price. No problem. And then you know what? Next week, people are going to buy another 277,000 of these burgers. Okay? I bought both versions of this burger.

My wife wanted to play the other one. With that in mind, while the bar is low, I am claiming from a bar of, hey, McDonald's doesn't have to do anything. And normally, they don't. I feel like this time maybe they tried maybe they tried a little bit except that you're mcdonald's yeah they did i i think they tried a little too hard at my at my mcdonald's i think that's what it is i got the my soup was just right yeah i was i was definitely papa bear yours was too hot yours was too cold yeah yeah mine was too saucy yeah nick was wow you got here that you got too saucy. Yeah. Nick was the...

Wow. Nick, did you hear that? Too saucy? That's fucked up. You got the baby bear situation, and Nick is like... I don't know. Like the big bad wolf?

I don't really know where he is. Nick's the fourth bear that comes home after, finds Goldilocks, and just drinks her. Oh! Drinks her. Well, that's good.

She got all the porridge inside her now. Yeah, she's full the porridge inside her now. And then he says, and Nick says, mmm, like a cow being grass fed. And then he eats slash drinks up little Goldilocks. I like it.

Well, on that note, let's rate this food. What'd you think, Jordan? I'm gonna give it for the reasons I listed and i i don't want to hold these problems against it because it sounds like everyone got very different things but hitting um i think this is probably where i would have landed regardless so i'm gonna give it a 41 okay wait that's where you think you would have landed regardless of what you ate yeah like what i ate i probably would have given like a 29 yeah like when he woke up this morning it was a 41 yeah i felt i felt chilly and i felt 41 okay that's how i woke up this morning i'm

looking i'm looking at eric and you're it's like you just heard Dolphin on the Ark. Well, it's... Look, all I'm saying is that he ate it and then he went, I would have given it a 41 anyway. What is that? What's the point of this? Well, because what I ate was lower than that. But knowing what you guys... So you gave it a 41? Knowing what you guys went through

and it sounding better than what I went through I'm not holding that against it I love right now by the way I'm loving this Eric is losing it and we can't see Jordan because his camera is down Eric is backed away from his computer holding his head I don't understand I don't know why this is blowing Eric's mind

because you came in and Jordan is already going to give it a 41 this doesn't make any sense I was going to give it a 41 but I ate it and it was worse so I already going to give it a 41. This doesn't make any sense. I was going to give it a 41, but I ate it and it was worse. So I'm going to give it a 41. Because the information I got from you guys is that it wasn't that bad. He values our opinion. But okay.

All right. Whatever. Like if we all went to the place and it was this bad for everyone. Yeah, it's going to get a score, but like, right. This is, this is a,

a balancing that's going in. And honestly, we don't even need to explain it this much. It's a 41. Yeah. It's not like, Oh my God, he gave it a 99.

It's just kind of like, it's a little ghost that he had. He made you do it. It's true. What episode is this? I think, I think he's? I think he's milking us for content.

I'm definitely not. I'm trying to wrap it up. 82, and Eric doesn't want the show to end. And he just... I don't know. 41 doesn't make any sense to me. It's just, why are you trying to kill Jordan by death of a thousand I would rate it. What you're saying

is that you came in, you're like, I thought I would give this a 41, and then I ate it, and it's worse, so I gave it a 41. Okay, so I'm going to give it a 33. Does that make you feel better? No, give it what you want to give it. I'm saying... Okay, so let's just cut out the last five minutes

so that we can move on. Eric, can you let him give it a 41? Can he have a 41? Am I allowed? Can he have a 41, please? 41 it is. Yep, 41. Christ!

He's pouting! Eric's upset about the sanctity of the Face Jam scoring metrics. This is great. Can I go? Can I have a turn? Yeah, please. 41. 41. And that's my final answer.

Are you sure? Are you sure Eric can't talk you down from that? I'm sure. This show sucks. Eric, what's the total? Eric, what's the average score on that? Average score? 41? Damn, I thought it was better than that.

That's about where I thought it'd land. I thought I would've rated it higher. This is why I definitely wanted to turn my camera on for this. But it kind of worked out that it was all of us, but not Jordan. Just that little, that little grackle. That's Jordan's face right now. That little grackle. I truly am the embodiment of this image.

A little smarmy looking grackle. Hang on. I'm going to turn into a wolf for that. Oh, my God. Good job. Pretty cool. I can do that in Diablo 2. Mark, you can.

I got a worm in this. Did we win? Yeah. Great. Average score 41. That's great. What's our snack attack? I was going to say, because we're not all together, we can't do a snack attack.

I'm sorry. We could have. We just didn't. Yeah. Some of us couldn't even get all the food. Why didn't we get anything for a snack attack? Hey, if you want to send us snacks, you can. Send them to Face Jam Care of Eric Padura, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723.

Go to store.roosterteeth.com to check out all the cool Face Jam merch that we have out now. The Menagerie shirt is a bestseller. It's really something. The Pumpkin Spice Rat shirt and crew neck are out now. I think they're almost sold out. So really make sure you get on those. Face Jam decals are out also at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date

on everything. Don't forget Spittin' Silly next week and last week, if you heard it. Face Jam Pod at RoosterTeeth.com is where you can send your food conundrums. Good luck, because some of them are good, and some of them we just hammer you for a while. Yeah. And, boy, you get really hammered. But you sent it in, so. Yeah.

Yeah, what were you thinking? That's your fault. Yeah. You did this to you. Yeah, there's a waiver you signed by simply sending us an email that says, um, I, I consent to being hammered.

Right. Right. It's, I mean, it's implied, honestly. Yep. Anyway,

rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we rate the food fairly after we eat the food. Not before. Not definitely not before. And that's it. We're done. 41. Goodbye.

Oh, come on.